Teen Titans Go! S2E37 Script

Two Bumble Bees and a Wasp (2015)

Go

[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

T-E-E-N

T-I-T-A-N-S

Teen Titans, let's go

Teen Titans, go

Titans, do you know what day it is?

ALL: Wednesday!

Hump day, baby.

Oh, yeah. Nothing better than the middle of the week!

Hoo-hoo-hoo. Hoo-hoo-hoo. Hump-hump.

[SLOWLY] Wednesday.

Uh, first of all, it's Friday.

ALL: Friday!

Enough. Yes, it's Friday.

But more importantly, it's payday.

Why can it not be the Wednesday?

Woo-hoo-hoo. Loo-poo-poo.

Hump-hump.

So, what are you going to spend this money on?

I could really use a new robot badonkadonk.

Ooh, I also wish to purchase the new robot badonkadonk.

Books, books, books and some books and books.

Books.

[MAKES BUZZER NOISE] Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong and some wrong.

Wrong!

Money is not to be wasted on things that bring you happiness and joy!

Money is to be hoarded, until your have enough money that your money makes more money.

And then you spend that money!

No! You hoard that money, too.

Ew. This is why they say money is the root of all evil.

Money? Evil? [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]

I know someone who might change your mind about that.

Oh, well hi there. I am money.

[GIGGLES] Hi, money. Nice to meet you.

Now, did someone here think I am evil?

It is him. The green one.

You are evil, bro. I know your heart!

Money doesn't have a heart, Beast Boy.

Exactly! He's evil!

Watch your mouth or I'll break your bones!

[GIGGLES] What I mean is, how can I be evil when I'm just a little old piece of paper.

[GIGGLES] You're not paper, you're money! Silly, money.

I am paper, but I am also money.

All I am is an agreed upon representative of credit.

Something you trade for goods and services!

So I can be anything. [SCREAMS]

Even paper.

Can money be a pineapple?

If everyone agrees on it, sure.

Can money be rocks?

Absolutely!

Can money be the blurp blops?

[GIGGLES] Now you're talking!

Can money be Robin's stupid face?

You show some respect! Call me Sir or Dr. Money.

Now, kneel before me or I will destroy you all!

My apologies, Dr. Money.

Money's kind of creeping me out.

Yeah, he's making me wanna be poor.

See? Evil.

And you know what I do to evil.

No! Stop it!

[YELLING] No!

Oh, you're gonna make it, buddy.

Hang in there.

No, no. It's too late for me, pal.

[COUGHING]

[WAILING]

Goodbye, cruel world.

[GAGGING] [BELL CLANGING]

That's it!

[PANTING] None of you are getting paid until you learn to respect money!

Fine with me, bro. We don't need your money!

But I wanna buy things so bad.

I also wish to trade the currency for goods and, or services.

Yeah, people need money, Beast Boy.

Animals don't use money!

And have you seen an unhappy dog?

Of course. All the time.

Look at that one.

[DOG WHIMPERS]

My friends, we have no choice but to respect money, like Robin has asked of us.

I'll never respect money, Star.

Not as long as it's evil.

But I have an idea!

Ah! Looks like someone bought some pizza!

Well, in the spirit of commerce, may I buy a slice? [CASH REGISTER DINGS]

Sure, dude, that'll be five bees!

What?

Five bees for the slice of pizza.

Bees? [SCOFFS] How about I give you a dollar?

[SCOFFS] We only take real money here.

Bees, brah. [BEES BUZZING]

Bees aren't money, "brah".

You said it yourself, Robin.

Money represents credit, so money could be anything.

I choose bees.

But bees are not an agreed upon currency!

No one is gonna pay you in bees!

Ooh, may I have a triangle of the pizza?

Sure thing. Five bees, please.

Ow!

Look, I don't have any bees.

How about flies?

Will you take three flies for a slice?

[SCOFFS] Three flies won't buy you anything.

[BEAST BOY GROANS]

I'd like a slice, but all I've got is a queen bee.

Here's your pizza, and here's your change.

Two bumblebees.

Hey, didn't I give you a queen?

My bad. I owe you a wasp.

Mmm. Ouch. Mmm. Ow! Ow!

Mmm.

This is ridiculous.

I am not using bees as currency.

Sounds like someone needs to learn to respect money.

The bee money. Ow!

I only respect paper money.

We'll see where that gets you.

Ouch!

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BEES BUZZING]

[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[CASH REGISTER BEEPING]

BOTH: Ooh!

[GROWLING]

Fifty thousand bees?

I don't get out of bed for less than 100!

Call me back when you're ready to talk real bees.

[GROANS]

Robin, come in. Ow!

Ah, thank you for seeing me. Of course.

I actually owe this all to you.

You told me to respect money, and now I'm the richest man in the world!

Now, what can I do for you? Ouch!

I, uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

I just need some bees, so I can get back on my feet.

Uh-uh-uh.

I hate to see you suffer, Robin.

Ow!

But I can't just give you bees, you'll never learn to respect your money that way.

Ouch! Ahhh!

Are you okay? You're getting stung a lot.

I don't even notice it anymore.

Ow!

Now, I won't just give you bees, but I will give you the opportunity to earn them.

That's all I want!

Good. You can get started right away.

Dance for me, peasant!

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] What?

You heard me. Dance for your bees!

What happened to you, Beast Boy?

You're not really going to humiliate me like this, are you?

Wait, wait, wait. This isn't the way.

Thank you.

Guys, check this out!

You're gonna make him dance for bees?

Ooh-hoo! This is gonna be good.

Now dance!

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Dance fo yo bees, dance, dance fo yo bees

Dance fo yo bees, dance, dance fo yo bees

Dance fo yo bees, dance, dance fo yo bees

Dance fo yo bees, dance, dance fo yo bees

All I want to do is dance for some bees Fabulous! You've earned these.

Is this it? Ouch!

Be grateful!

Ouch!

You were right, Beast Boy. Ow! Money is the root of all evil.

Even bee money! Ouch!

It hurts to see what it's turned you into.

I'm sorry. I can't hear you over all my bees!

[BUZZING ANGRILY]

No! No! Ah! Ow!

[GROANING]

What's happening to him?

This is what happens when you let money consume you.

It turns you into a monster!

Actually, I think it's an allergic reaction from the bee stings.

[SCREAMING]

No, he's swollen with evil!

Or, maybe he's asking us to call a doctor.

We must destroy the evil that's consumed our dear friend.

Titans, go!

[ROBIN GRUNTS]

It's working. The evil is leaving him.

I'm gonna call an ambulance.

[ROBIN SCREAMING]

It's good to have you back, buddy.

I'm sorry, guys.

I don't know how I got so caught up in making money.

Well, we all learned something important today, Titans.

Whoever said, "Money is the root of all evil" was way off base!

That's right. The real danger is bee allergies.

BEES: Hey!

Sorry, for uh... Beating you mercilessly.

We thought you were a monster!

It's cool.

Friends, I have just received the hospital bill.

Ooh! That's gonna sting.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]