Teen Titans Go! S2E4 Script

Money Grandma (2014)

Go

[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

T-E-E-N

T-I-T-A-N-S

Teen Titans, let's go

Teen Titans, go

[TV SHOW PLAYING]

Guys, I stayed up all night making this amazing video and I wanted to share it with my closest friends.

Oh, wonderful. Well, share away, bro.

Somebody's flexing their creative muscles.

Why not?

ROBIN: Cyborg. You know him as a superhero.

Aw, you made a video about me?

Quiet.

ROBIN: But did you also know that Cyborg is also a gigantic jerk?

[GASPS] No, I did not know that.

Just look at what the security cameras caught him saying about his best friend Beast Boy.

Dude, I think Beast Boy's super lame and so annoying.

Ah!

Cyborg, how could you?

What? I never said...

That was taken out of context.

And if you think that's bad, just look what we caught Beast Boy saying.

Yeah, bro. Cyborg is gross and stupid and super weird.

What?

You really think I'm super weird?

Guys, obviously he just edited those clips together to make you look bad.

You're the one who's annoying!

I'm not the one who's gross, not me!

[BOTH ARGUING]

Okay, okay, you're gonna miss the best part.

This election, vote for a leader whose not afraid to tell you the hard truth.

Vote for Robin.

This message was paid for by the Teen Titans and endorsed by Robin.

The views expressed may or may not be accurate.

Any resemblances to real persons is purely coincidental.

[CLAPPING]

Oh, that was very well made, Robin.

What was all that about?

The election for team leader is coming up.

And I'm ready to do whatever it takes to win.

But I'm not even running against you. No one is.

Exactly. I crush my opponents even before they start.

How do you think George Washington became the first President?

By inspiring a country with is military leadership and humility?

[SCOFFS] That's lame.

I would have been a better President than that doofus.

Do we even vote for team leader?

Don't you remember last year?

One vote for Robin.

Oh, and no one else voted.

That makes it official. Robin is re-elected as team leader.

Congratulations, Robin.

[IMITATING CROWD WHOOPING AND CHEERING]

Thank you, thank you. It is an honor.

You're going to do great, you handsome little man.

[VOCALIZING HAIL TO THE CHIEF]

I'm expecting another landslide victory.

So, you losers better not even think about running against me.

Can I count on your vote?

Whoo! Whoo!

[ALARM SOUNDING]

Titans, go!

[LAUGHS MANICALLY]

[GASPS]

[LASERS FIRING]

[BELLOWING]

[GASPS] Friends, look. The television is speaking of us.

Breaking news. The Teen Titans save the day again and it's all caught on video.

Oh, this must be from my epic victory against the H.I.V.E. yesterday.

Your victory? We were all there.

Funny. That's not how I remember it.

Let's just watch the video I provided the local news station.

[BELLOWING]

Really, bro? How could you?

Yes, Robin, how could you keep your four amazing quadruplet brothers a secret for all of these years?

I wish to meet the one with the physique similar to mine.

No. How could you take credit for our work?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

But I think we can all agree the video proves I would make the best leader.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[VOCALIZING HAIL TO THE CHIEF]

He has finally gone too far.

Someone needs to talk some sense into him.

And I know exactly who.

[WHISTLING YANKEE DOODLE]

Hey, what's up guys?

Robin, we feel you have lost the vision of what is most important in a leader.

So, I used a time machine to bring one of history's greatest leaders here to remind you what leadership is all about.

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

[MY COUNTRY 'TIS OF THEE PLAYING]

[SCREECHING]

It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Whoa, George Washington?

The one and only.

Dude, who's that old lady?

Show some respect.

I think it's the grandma who's on the back of the dollar bill.

Oh, Money Grandma.

She's rad.

Being a true leader, Robin, is like being a gardener.

You must tend to your friends like you might a small sapling.

For only by working together towards a common goal can a true team with the strength of a mighty oak be formed.

I think I understand.

You want to run for team leader against me?

I will ruin you, Washington. [SCREECHES]

Robin, you misunderstand.

He merely... Such insolence!

Alright, you little Red Coat. If you want to test my mettle, you shall find me ready to deliver a quality trashing indeed.

Bring it on!

I will bring it on. [BOTH GRUNTING]

Take that, Georgie Porgie. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it now. Oh, you're still with the old school.

[BOTH ARGUING]

BEAST BOY & CYBORG: Fight! Fight, Fight!

Fight! Fight!

Was this your plan, Raven?

More or less.

[PUNCHES LANDING & CRASHING]

You get him, Money Grandma!

[PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[OVEN DINGS]

[GRUNTS]

[INAUDIBLE]


[EXCLAIMING]

[CHATTERING] [CRYING]

[GRINDING TEETH]

[ALL APPLAUDING] [CAMERAS CLICKING]

[BURPING]

My brave friends, together we can form a more perfect team.

A group brought together by discipline to stop evil in its tracks and truly earn the name Titan.

[ALL CHEERING]

Preach to us, Money Grandma! You've got this, Money Grandma.

[GAVEL SOUNDS]

[CROONS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

It has been said of my opponent that he cannot tell a lie.

[CHUCKLES] Guilty as charged.

Earlier today, did you not ask, "do you smell that?"

In regards to a noxious odor?

[STAMMERING] I recall that, yes.

Yes, okay. Then I ask you, good sir, where you not in fact responsible for that odor?

[STAMMERING] I... Well, you see, here's the thing.

You are evading.

No. No. It's just that...

Answer the question, President Washington!

Yes!

Yes, it's true. I farted.

I smelt it and it was I who dealt it.

[ALL GASPING]

I rest my case.

One vote for Washington. One vote for Robin.

It's a tie. What?

You guys didn't vote? No.

Of course not. I'm not into politics.

Then how shall we break the tie?

There's only one way to settle this, Washington.

BOTH: Fisticuffs!

And the winner will lead the Titans.

Robin, you can't fight George Washington.

Yeah, you leave that sweet, old woman alone.

Not a chance.

[VOCALIZING KUNG FU SOUNDS]

[BANJO MUSIC PLAYING]

I've cut down more than cherry trees with this ax, child.

By the power of America!

[YELLS] I have the power!

[SCREECHES]

[ROBIN GROANS]

[WASHINGTON GRUNTS]

Freedom shield!

Money Grandma ain't messing around, yo!

Liberty punch!

[BELL RINGING]

[SCREAMS]

[ROBIN GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

Monument bash!

[GROANS]

Do you yield?

[GROANS] I yield.

Good lad.

Are you the okay, Robin?

I see now I was wrong.

I wanted to win this election so badly I forgot what being a true leader really means.

So, effective immediately, George Washington is the leader of the Teen Titans.

ROBIN: Sorry, guys.

I'm sorry you won't be around to see me become the greatest leader ever!

Robin, what are you doing?

You can read about it in the history books. [CHUCKLES]

Guys, look!

He didn't. He did.

MAN: After defeating the British with his sweet Kung Fu moves, Robin became the first President of the United States.

Was this also a part of the plan, Raven?

More or less.

[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]