Teen Titans Go! S3E19 Script

The True Meaning of Christmas (2015)

Go

[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

T-E-E-N

T-I-T-A-N-S

Teen Titans, let's go

Teen Titans, go

[ALARM RINGING] ALL: Presents!

[ALL CLAMORING]

ROBIN: I wonder what's going to be under the tree.

[GASPS]

No presents?

Hmm. The cookies and milk are untouched.

Then Santa never came!

But why?

RAVEN: Maybe he had the wrong address?

Of course! That's the only reasonable explanation.

Fortunately, Christmas isn't about presents.

Indeed. The true meaning of Christmas is found in the gifts wrapped in flesh and filled with the bones and fluids.

That's right, Starfire. It's about friends and family.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la la la la la I love you, guys.

[ALARM RINGS]

ALL: Presents?

[ALL CLAMORING]

No presents? Again?

[SOBBING] Oh, come on!

I thought you were going to give Santa the right address.

I sent a letter.

To the North Pole?

Of course!

Titans, let's not point fingers.

We'll get this sorted out by next year.

For now, let's just remember the true meaning of Christmas.

ALL: [MUTTERING] Being together with friends and family.

[WEAKLY] ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la la la la la Friendship.

[ALARM RINGS]

ALL: Presents?

[ALL SOBBING]

I feel so alone.

So lonely.

There is no one here but me.

Okay, Titans. Here's what we know.

It's been three years without presents despite intel confirming Santa Claus has our address.

These facts lead to one conclusion.

We are on Santa's naughty list.

[ALL GASP]

But we are the superheroes. How can we be on

[WHISPERS] the naughty list?

I don't know, but this is an outrage!

[BARKING]

What was the point of trying to be nice all year?

This is your fault. You're supposed to be nice enough for all of us.

[YELLING] No one is nice enough to make up for all your naughties.

[ALL GRUNTING]

Guys, guys, guys!

[GROANS]

We can speculate all night, but we'll never know for sure why we're on

[WHISPERS] the naughty list.

We've been singing songs and doing all that together-y trash for the last three years!

Well, it wasn't enough!

I say we infiltrate Santa's workshop and take ourselves off the naughty list by any means necessary.

We're nearing the North Pole. Remember, Titans. We're going in fast

[WHISPERING] and silent.

Let's show that jolly fat man what naughty really is.

[RADAR BEEPING] ROBIN: This is it!

Titans, ho, ho, ho!

ALL: Oh!

Ugh! So tight.

Deal with it. Now fan out and find that naughty list.

[WHISTLING] This place is amazing!

[BLOWING]

[ELVES CHEERING]

Say, you know where Santa keeps that naughty list?

Shh! Shush?

Don't shush me! I'll shush you! [SCOFFS]

Hey, buddy, you know where I can find the naughty...

Shh! You're going to get us in trouble.

Trouble? What is wrong with you people?

[YELLING] Does anybody know where Santa's naughty list is?

[CONVEYOR POWERING DOWN]

Oh, you've done it now.

Uh-oh!

What in Frosty's frozen carrot is going on here?

Well, sir, you see...

What happened was, we all are trying to work, but this elf won't stop yapping.

Really? Really.

Really, really? Really, really.

Really?

Guards! Get this elf out of my workshop.

No!

What up, reindeer dudes? Comet, give me some hoof.

Blitzen, looking good, baby!

Yo! What's up with light-bulb nose, huh?

[LAUGHING] What, are you afraid of the dark?

No, but for real, I'm just messing with you, night light.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Hey! Don't get mad, I'm just playing. [DOOR OPENS]

Where you going, bro? Just about to play some games.

[LAUGHING] [ENGINE STARTS]

So, you guys know where I can find the naughty list?

Hmm?

Season's greetings!

Hello, friend.

We are two elves looking for the list of the naughties.

Do you know where one might find it?

Well, Santa doesn't live... What is that smell?

Excuse me.

[SNIFFS] Oh! It is this home.

It is made from the candies and the gingerbread.

[MEOWS]

Oh, kitty! So cute.

Gumdrop, no!

So good.

That's an antique!

Don't!

Mmm.

My mother gave me that!

No, no, no, no!

[SCREAMING]

Mmm. Delicious.

Ladies. [BOTH LAUGHING]

That must be it.

[GROANS]

[THUDS]

Ha, ha, ha. Let's see. Red X, Seemore, Slade.

Ah, Teen Titans! Ha, ha. Goodbye, naughty list!

[GROANS]

[GROANS]

[YELLS] Christmas magic. I should have known.

[BELL JINGLING]

All hail the jolly fat man

All the kids are so excited to see Santa

The hope for snow The mistletoe

The Christmas tree with the light just so

It's got to be the favorite time of year

All hail the jolly fat man

All the kids are so excited to see Santa

The hope for snow... ♪ [BARKING]

[DOG WHIMPERING] [DOOR OPENING]

Sir! We caught these kids snooping around.

[LAUGHING] Now tell Santa what you were thinking.

We're sick of not getting Christmas presents.

It's been three years and not one gift.

What are we, animals?

How do you expect us to enjoy Christmas?

Oh, that's what this is all about? [DOG GROWLING]

Presents! [LAUGHING]

Christmas isn't about presents.

I am sorry, friend Santa, but you are the crazy.

Even on the naughty list, even without presents, you can still enjoy Christmas. You see...

Ugh, here we go!

Christmas is a time for family and friends to come together.

A time for the people of the world to forget their troubles, and instead focus on being good to one another.

[FARTING]

Well, that's a beautiful sentiment, Santa.

But tell me, if Christmas isn't about presents, why do you own a giant toy factory?

Oh, that? Yeah, ho, ho, ho. Well, it's just a bit of fun.

It's meaningless to the holiday, really.

Well, if it's meaningless, you won't mind if I do this.

My, my!

You really are naughty, aren't you? [DOG GROWLING]

But perhaps you did us a favor.

This is the perfect opportunity to show you exactly what Santa was talking about.

Now you see how wonderful Christmas can be just by being together.

This is great, right?

[CHUCKLING] Just hanging out.

[HEART BEATING]

Should we eat or something?

Oh! This is terrible.

[SOBBING] So, so terrible.

Christmas stinks without presents.

Who am I to decide who gets a gift and who doesn't?

I've been a monster.

Thank you, Titans.

Thank you for helping me see the true meaning of Christmas.

Presents.

You're welcome, Santa.

And in the true spirit of Christmas, we have a gift for you.

Azarath Metrion Zinthos!

[DOG BARKING] It's a Christmas miracle!

Now I can make toys for all the children of the world, even the garbage ones.

[ALL CHEERING]

Ho, ho, ho!

All hail the jolly fat man Merry Christmas!

All the kids are so excited to see Santa

The hope for snow The mistletoe

The Christmas tree with the light just so

It's got to be the favorite time of year Merry Christmas, you terrible children!

ALL: Best Christmas ever!

SANTA: Merry Christmas to all! Ho, ho, ho!

[CLOSING THEME MUSIC]