Teen Titans Go! S3E42 Script

Pure Protein (2016)

[CARIBBEAN MUSIC PLAYING]

The skies were clear and the water was warm

The sun was blazing hot

And where do we find our Titan crew

They're all up on their yacht

That's right, they have a yacht

It's called the Titan Yacht

It's a really big yacht

A super dope yacht

They all set sail for a day of fun

Full of dancing and good food

Till it all came to a sudden stop

When Beast Boy yelled out, "Dude!"

A massive wave was headed

Toward our frightened Titan crew

They tried and tried to outrun the swirl

But there was nothing they could do

It crashed onto the Titan Yacht

With the force of Poseidon's rage

And it seemed that all just might be lost if the Titans aren't saved

When suddenly behind a crest

Appeared a desert isle

Just then Robin yells out, "Whoo-hoo!"

And the rest went buck wild

It looks like they'll be stranded here

For more than just one day

They'll most likely be stranded here

For the next five whole days

No less than five whole days

For certain five whole days

No less than five whole days

For certain five whole days

No less than five whole days

For certain five whole days

No less than five whole days

For certain five whole days

Go! Coming at you, bro!

[GRUNTS]

[LAUGHING AND CHEERING]

I do love me some fun in the sun!

And building sand castles is so relaxing.

Mmm... I shall never tire of the sands betwixt my toeses.

[GASPS]

Titans, what are you doing?

Island-living, baby!

Have you all forgotten the dangers of this harsh jungle environment?

Howdy!

The only danger I see, Robin, is the group of friends perhaps having too much of the fun. [GIGGLES]

Come on bro, chillax!

Let the island melt your cares away.

I will not!

[SAD MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS]

My volleyball! My volleyball! Why?

Life in a tropical paradise isn't about relaxing.

It's about survival!

In order to sharpen your survival instincts, you'll all be participating in a series of fun challenges!

Challenges aren't fun, they're challenging.

Before the fun can begin, we need to form teams.

But we already are the team!

Yeah, we're strong by ourselves, but together we're...

This is survival! I don't want to see any of that huggy, buggy garbage.

To learn true survival skills, we have to split into teams and compete against one another.

Shouldn't we be helping each other?

We will! By being super petty and forming alliances!

And backstabbing! Always backstabbing!

Stab! Stab! Stabbity-back-back-stab!

[GRUNTS]

I call... not Robin's team.

Neither do I. I'm out. Not Robin's team.

I'm not on a team! I'm the host.

Starfire, Cyborg, you're a team!

Beast boy, Raven, you're a team!

Nice! It's you and me, Mama... [GRUNTS]

What is this?

It's a confessional. Just pretend I'm not here.

Kinda hard to do that.

To what will I be confessing?

ROBIN: Oh, your thoughts or emotions or deeply-held affection for certain teammates?

Pass.

I confess! I confess! [SOBS]

I took Beast Boy's sunglasses! They just look so good on me!

Phew! Feels good to get that off my chest!

Okay, teams, your first challenge is to find food!

We already ordered pizzas!

No pizza!

My pizza! My pizza! Why?

[SAD MUSIC PLAYING]

This is survival. And survival means eating gross things!

Let's start the challenge!

Gross. Oh, that is so gross.

[ALL RETCHING]

The first team to eat all their bugs, wins!

I do not consent.

Bugs are full of protein, essential vitamins and fiber!

For centuries, man survived solely on bugs.

[GASPS] What is that?

Coconut curry, bruh!

Yum, yum! Woo-hoo-hoo! And I believe even one more yum.

No yum!

My curry! My curry! Why?

[SAD MUSIC PLAYING]

That is not survival! This is survival!

Oh, yes! I will have a side of maggots with my beetle.

Another grasshopper? Oh, why not?

Let's indulge!

Pure protein!

Uh-uh I ain't eating no bugs.

Bugs are beautiful creatures, yo.

[BURPS]

And your breath stinks, fool.

Titans, your second team challenge, is to fashion clothing from your surroundings.

What's wrong with our clothes?

What clothes? [LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

Now, as I've just demonstrated you never know when you're gonna find yourself nude and fearful in the wild!

Now, go get some leaves and cover your shame!

Why stop at leaves? You know what this calls for?

Island Fashion Show!

CYBORG: Ahoy there.

Here comes that stunning Tamaranian, Starfire.

Sporting the sails of an unlucky sailor's sunken ship.

Throw me overboard because this mermaid is smoking! Ooh, wee!

And this dazzling demon is on fire with her super trendy palm-frond poncho!

No! You're not doing it right!

Do I have to show you what being naked looks like?

Please don't.

Behold, nakedness!

ALL: No!

Robin, are you not concerned your pasty skin is being attacked by the Sun?

Nothing that some cooling mud can't soothe.

[SPLASHES]

Ah... Nature's sunscreen.

Oh, look! A few friendly leeches sucking the toxins from my blood.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Oh, and now it appears the blood from the leeches has attracted a swarm of mosquitoes.

Or as I like to call it, "The lunch buffet!"

Pure protein!

I am not doing this confession thing until you put some clothes on!

Ah, just go ahead, it's fine.

No it's not, it's not fine! It's not fine at all!

Titans, your third challenge is to vote someone off the island!

Robin. Robin.

Robin. Robin.

The results are inconclusive!

There is clear evidence of vote tampering, gerrymandering and hanging chads. So let's move on! New challenge!

No more challenges!

Yeah, bro, we've got this survival stuff down.

It's easy-peasy.

[SCOFFING]

Oh, really? You all feel that way?

Absolutely! Oh, yes!

All right, since you're all master survivalists...

Then, I guess we can skip to the final challenge!

[BEEPING]

I've called down an alien big-game hunter who will stalk us relentlessly until he's collected all of our skulls as trophies!

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

You called an alien skull collector.

Are you crazy, man?

[CLICKING]

Whoa! Laser light show! [LAUGHS]

[BUZZING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]

[CLICKING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROWLS]

[CLICKING]

[CLICKING]

[SCREAMING]

[GROWLING]

Well, we're doomed.

He's gonna take my skull! I love my skull!

It's my favorite skull!

Titans, listen, the only way to survive is...

By working together!

No! Haven't you listened to anything I've said?

We scatter. Every man for himself!

The alien will pick you off, one by one!

Until only I am left standing!

Yeah, we should work together.

Yo, I thinks we can beat him if we act as a team.

And use the survival lessons we learned today.

You learned nothing! I'm getting out of here!

[SCREAMS]

[LASER GUN BEEPS]

[GROWLING]

You won't take us, ghost!

Until you've tried some of this delicious coconut curry.

[GASPS]

Bro, your gear is pretty fresh.

But how about a cape?

Ooh, it compliments your mandibles!

[PURRING]

Hey, come on, let's survive. Island style.

[SURF MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHS]

You really have to go?

You will be dear in our hearts for all time, Alien Hunter.

So long, buddy.

Here, take some curry for the road, bro.

[SAD MUSIC PLAYING]

Bye.

[CRYING]

[SIGHS] I'm gonna miss that dude.

Hey, anyone seen Robin?

[ALIEN HUNTER GROWLING]

[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]