Teen Titans Go! S3E5 Script

Spice Game (2015)

Go

[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

T-E-E-N

T-I-T-A-N-S

Teen Titans, let's go

Teen Titans, go

[STOMACH GURGLING]

Oh! My tummy's tellin' me something.

[STOMACH GURGLING] [SCREECHES]

[GASPS] Mine too, bro.

[STOMACH GURGLING]

My digestive fluids also wish to relay the messages.

[STOMACH GURGLING]

Shh, quiet, I wanna hear what they're saying.

[STOMACH GURGLING]

[ALL STOMACHS GURGLING]

What'd they say, mama?

They're saying...

[IMITATING STOMACH] We're hungry for food!

Then let us put the delicious morsels into our internal food sacs.

Oh, yeah! Who's cooking tonight?

[PLAYING TRIANGLE] Oh, Titans! Come and get it!

[GROANING]

Oh, that guy.

Are you guys in for a treat tonight!

My specialty, boiled potatoes.

Not again! Aw, man!

Mmm! I got the mushiness just right.

Mmm! [CHEWING]

Come on, don't be shy.

So boring!

Why do you make the same boiled mush every time?

It's like I always say, "When you know what's going in, you know what's coming out."

Ah! And we wish you would stop saying that.

My flavor buds crave the excitement.

Don't worry, all we need is a little fire!

Hot sauce? That's right.

When things get boring, you gotta spice 'em up!

Ah! [CHEWING]

Oh, yeah! That's what I'm talking about!

Let me in on that! Comin' at ya! [LAUGHS]

It's like my tongue was in a deep sleep, and a spicy prince came and kissed it back to life.

[CHEERS]

[CHUCKLES] Ooh! Let me try!

Now I see all that was hidden, the truth of life is revealed.

[KETTLE BOILING]

Spicy...

Stop! You're ruining the meal and your lives!

Come on, bro, get spicy with us.

[SNIFFING]

[GASPS]

[PANTING]

I inhaled the fumes...

[GASPING] Throat closing...

[COUGHING]

[GASPING] I can't... Can't breathe...

[COUGHING] Must drink milk to neutralize the effect.

[GULPING]

[GASPING] Close one, almost died.

Titans, trust me, you do not want to get into the spice game.

It is a never-ending escalation of spice that leaves you spicier and spicier until you don't know what spice is anymore.

No. The true spice of life is routine.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Look, it's 7:15, you know that that means.

Bedtime!

[ALL SIGHING]

[SIGHING]

What's wrong with you guys?

Our life is lacking the spice.

I can't stop thinking about that spicy prince.

Will my tongue ever wake up again?

[CRYING] Everything is so dull now.

Then we need to get your minds off the spice.

I know, how about a potato?

Look at the little guy!

How could he not brighten your day?

Now, who's ready to spice things up?

ALL: We are!

I'd like you to meet hot pepper!

ALL: Ooh!

He's a one way ticket to Spicy Town, yo!

First hot sauce, now hot peppers?

The spiciness will consume your souls, Titans.

Whatevs, eat up.

Welcome to paradise.

[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

Yeah, mama, we're living the spicy life now!

It's not too late, you can still come back to the bland side!

No way, we're gonna pepper everything up!

ALL: Spicy life!

[PEPPER READING]

I'm a hot pepper Hot, hot, hot pepper, pepper

I'm a hot pepper Hot, hot, hot pepper

I'm hot like the fire

Hot like the sun

When we talkin' 'bout heat Me be number one

'Cause I'm a hot pepper Hot, hot, hot, pepper, pepper

I'm a hot pepper Hot, hot, hot, pepper

I'm hotter than hot than hot could ever be

I'm hotter than a billion, zillion degrees

I'm a hot pepper Hot, hot, hot, pepper, pepper

I'm a hot pepper Hot, hot, hot, pepper PEPPER: [LAUGHING] Fire!

ROBIN: Ah, so smooth.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[WHOOPING] [LAUGHING] Spicy!

All spicy life for life, baby!

[WHOOPING] Yeah! You are so spicy, bro!

So hot and spicy!

Do not make contact with me for my skin is the radiant with the heat and touching it will burn you so badly!

Titans, calm yourselves! Ooh, what's the matter, Robin?

Are we too hot to handle?

Come on, guys, let's leave Robin alone with his boring potatoes.

[STAMMERING] Hold it right there.

Now, just to show you I can spice it up too, I went ahead and made something I think you'll like.

Boiled potatoes...

Wait for it.

With salt.

[IMITATES CAT PURRING]

See, I can hang with you guys. Spicy life. Spicy!

[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY] Oh, wow.

[GROANING]

[COUGHING] It's too much salt.

It's got... Oh. My mouth is on...

[PANTING] Need milk, need milk. Ah!

[GULPING]

[GARGLING] Ah!

[GASPING]

We don't need salt, bro, 'cause we got jalapeños.

[AIR HORN BLARING]

The potato still tastes like the potato.

Well just take it up a notch.

[BEAST BOY READING]

My tongue's starting to fall asleep again.

Where's my prince?

[BEAST BOY READING]

Forget the food, just give us the pepper!

[SPITS]

[GROANS] What is this, candy?

I warned you. Your lives have become too spicy, rendering you immune to spices!

Don't you have a hotter pepper, Beasty?

No, bro, I'm tapped out.

So we must return to the prison of blandness?

No, there is one pepper we have yet to try.

Azarath Metrion Zinthos!

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

Behold, the Tears of Zephos. [THUNDER CRACKING]

Grown in the gardens of eternal flame.

These peppers inflict great pain and suffering on any foolish enough to consume them.

Perfect. This is not perfect.

More spice isn't the answer.

[ALL CHEWING]

Mmm, not bad, you know this reminds me of...

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

Need milk!

[ALL GULPING]

[PANTING]

It's not working!

There's only one thing that can save us now.

We must travel to the lair of the Dairy King and drink the infinity milk from his immortal udder!

This map shows where he lives but my eyes are too watery to read it.

Well, well.

It would seem the spicy life has consumed your souls exactly like I said it would.

So, you guys finally ready to start living life to the least?

ALL: [CRYING] Yes!

Yes!

Titans, go!

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

We're here. Now, Titans, be cautious.

We don't know what to expect.

I call first! Me first!

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ALL GROANING]

[MOOS]

Give up the milk, Dairy King.

[MOOS]

Then I'll have to take it.

[GRUNTS]

[MOOS]

[MOOS]

[MOOS] [GRUNTS]

How could you have predicted my predictable moves?

[MOOS]

I see what I have to do now.

I need a little spice in my life.

Ooh! [LAUGHS]

Spicy! Ooh, that's hot!

[BABBLING]

Ooh! [LAUGHS]

[BABBLING]

[MOOS]

I'm spicing things up!

El fuego!

[GROANING]

Ooh! [LAUGHS]

[SIGHING HAPPILY]

[SIGHING HAPPILY]

[MOOS]

[GROANS]

Sweet relief.

We should've listened to you when you told us to be bland and predictable, bro.

No, Titans, the lesson here is to live life in the middle.

Do everything in life halfway. Not too boring, but not too exciting, either.

That sounds reasonable.

[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]