Ten Thousand Saints (2015) Script

I've heard people say that life is like a river.

And we're all just tiny minnows struggling through the freeze, the thaw and the flow.

Sometimes it's a momentous event, a birth or a death that causes the currents to shift.

And sometimes it's something as simple as your best friend going home early one night.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What is wrong with me for ever fucking being with you!

Listen... You make me so mad!

Will you listen to me? Please.

Sleep in the fucking greenhouse.


Hey! Look who's still up.

Where's your best bud Teddy?

He went home hours ago.

He did, huh?

Here, sit down. Join me.

Take a load off, my man.


I bet you're wondering why Mom has me out here, huh? - Mmm.

Well, can I tell you something, hmm?

I'd like to talk to another guy.

You know mommy's friend, Mrs. Donahue, did you know she's pregnant?

Hmm? She's gonna have a baby.


The trouble is you know who made her pregnant?



Is Mom pissed?

She is. I mean, she's really pissed.

She doesn't think she wants to be married to me anymore and now she's gonna be even more pissed that I told you, but I think, you know, you deserve to know the truth.

You're a big guy now.

What's gonna happen to the baby?

Some babies are never born at all, you know?

And some babies are born, their parents take care of 'em, some babies, you know, somebody else raises 'em.

You know, like, uh...

What's that stupid TV show you always watch with your sister?

With the two little black kids and the rich white guy.

Oh, Diff'rent Strokes.

Right, okay. Well they're adopted, right?

So, you know all about that, right?

I mean, that's...

That's another thing I've been wanting to tell you, you know, but your mom's like...

You know, it's gotta be the perfect time.

But I think that you should know, you know?

Know what?

The truth about your life.

You're adopted.

It's not a big deal. I mean Aristotle was adopted.

Lee Majors, you know him, The Six Million Dollar Man, right? He was adopted.

Tons of people are adopted and you wouldn't even know it.

Yeah, so...

I mean, there it is.

Does that mean Mr. Donahue is my dad?


Champ, come here.

Come here, come here, come here.

I'm your dad for crying out loud.

I'll be your dad forever. Get up here.

Get up here.

Can I sleep here with you, Dad?

Oh, I'd love that. Mmm.

But I think your mom's pissed enough at me, don't you?

So get your butt back in bed, huh.

You'll be here in the morning, right?

Mmm, we'll see what tomorrow brings.

I often wondered if Teddy hadn't left so early that night, maybe I would never have had that conversation with my dad.

Maybe our lives would have stayed secure and naive.

Maybe we would never have met Eliza.

Maybe this whole story would never have happened.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, God damn it, Teddy.

Okay. Okay.

Thanks, man.

Jesus, we have a front door, you know.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Guess what?

What? My mom took off again.


She got shit faced last night and then when I woke up in the morning her and all her stuff were just gone.

Well, I mean she'll come back.

She always does.

Yeah, well, fuck it. I don't even care.

I'm all about trying to get to New York now.

My brother had the right idea.

Well, I'm all about getting some weed.

It's New Year's Eve and we're bone dry.

Hey, Prudence, can I borrow 40 bucks?

What happened to your glasses, Teddy?

I got contacts.

Oh, you looked better with glasses.

My, uh, my brother, he was telling me about this college.

It's like, right next to CBGB's.

It's free, it's just really hard to get in.

You know colleg is gonna suck just as much as high school.

Yeah, but we'll be in New York.

What's so great about New York anyway?

No parents for one.

Speak for yourself.

Oh, shit!

What is in there? It's resin.

I scraped it out of my mom's pipe.

Well, at least she left you something.

I think my dad's down in New York too, actually.


I thought you said your dad died.

Yeah, that's what my mom says, but...

Well, Johnny seems to think she's full of shit.

Well, you know, this is beat.

Oh, shit.

Check it out. What?

What are you doing?

Oh, dude, gross.

Oh, yeah, it's Sandy McCoy's.

I'm telling you.

Oh, great.

Oh, it's hitting me hard.

Okay, I'm ready. Wait.

Is it panty or panties?

Oh, okay, so panties is plural...

Shut up and take it.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, Mrs. H.

Hey, guys.

Mom, can I get a loan?

I already gave you your birthday present.

Yeah, but I spent it.

Your father called again, that girl Eliza will be here at 6:05 now.

She's taking a different bus.

Who's Eliza?

Eliza Caplan.

The ballerina's daughter.

Who's a ballerina? My dad's girlfriend.

Apparently Eliza was up at a ski trip with some prep school girls.

She's making a pit stop here before heading home after midnight.

That's even more of a reason I'll need some money.

Well, let's hope your dad sent her with some.

You know, I don't even know why he sent her.

I don't know her.

Well, maybe he's finally reaching out to you without getting his own hands dirty, of course.

You know my dad is an absolute fucking asshole!

I mean, what, I've seen him a few times in the last seven years?

And out of nowhere he sends this fucking girl.

Yeah, I mean like, your average Manhattan girl is way hotter than the cream of the crop here in Lintonburg, so...


You think that's... I don't know.

Excuse me are you, uh, are you Eliza?

Which one of you is Jude?

That would be, uh, me.

You don't look like a Prudence.

Oh, uh, no, Prudence, uh...

She's at home, I'm Teddy.

What's on your face, Teddy?

Is that some sort of Dracula skate punk thing, uh...

Oh, right, um...

It's, we get it from... We huffed turpentine.


That is like, that's sad.

Happy New Year! Wow!

Welcome to exciting Lintonburg.

Yeah, this should be interesting, right?

You know we should probably just crash Tory Ventura's party.

I mean, he's a total douche, but he is a major drug connection.

Everyone goes.

Yeah, unfortunately it'll be filled with like, jocks and metal heads, I don't know if your boyfriend's one of those, but...

No, uh... No, I don't have a boyfriend and if I did he wouldn't be a jock or a metal head.

So you guys strike me as Misfits fans.

Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. No, we love Misfits.

I mean, we're into all kinds of hardcore, but, uh...

Are you? Nice.

Uh, my brother actually has a band in the East Village, it's uh, Army of One.

They're like hardcore but they're also like, Straight Edge.

What's Straight Edge?

It's a whole other scene, no drugs, no sex, no meat, like drinking or weed... Boring. - Basically. - Yeah.

That's pretty boring. - But, uh, their music's pretty awesome.

I saw the Misfits once at Irving Plaza when I was 11.

It was my first show with the Necros and the Beastie Boys.

You went to a show when you were 11?

Yeah, I mean I didn't go alone.

Who did you go with?

Your dad.

He put me on his shoulders.

I could see everything. It was such a good show.


Look, how long are you gonna keep writing, huh? It's New Year's Eve.

No, I've got to finish Eliza's essay for the Taft Academy.

Yeah, well shouldn't she do that herself, hmm? - She did.

And she answered the question about her future goals with a 250-word essay on her ambitions to be a makeup artist.

Mmm. Written in eyeliner.

I applaud her creativity. Yeah.

You would. Mmm.

You got any New Year resolutions, Princess Di?

Yes. What are they?

To stop dating my dealer.

Why would you do that?

With me you get the whole package.

Sex and drugs, huh. Oh, yeah I forgot.

...clocks, and then 1988!

I wonder how Eliza's doing in Vermont.

She's doing great. Mmm.

Well, if your children are anything like their father I should be very worried.

Mmm, my kids are good eggs.

You'd have to actually be around them to know that, wouldn't you?

Well, I've been around your daughter for years and let me tell you something.

She is no delicate flower.

Dude, did I piss you off before when I said that thing about your dad?

Why would I be pissed at you?

It's not your fault my dad's a prick.

Les is not a prick, all right?

I actually think he feels extremely bad about everything.

What's everything?

Deserting you, uh...

Not being there for you guys.

You should have seen him at Christmas.

He got drunk, all right, and he was outside on the balcony crying like a baby.

It was right after he talked to you on the phone.

You were standing there when I talked to my dad?

He was in my apartment.

I mean, don't you think it's sad though?

No, what's sad is how he sent you to be his little messenger.

Oh, my God.

Les would never do that.

In fact, he called me a drama queen and a sad story addict for wanting to come.

No, you know my dad is a sad fucking story.

Not me, all right?


Did I say something?

No. I'll be right back, okay?

Can you hold this?


Oh, shit.

Whose car is this, man?

Who cares?

Jude, are you just gonna sit there and be pissed off at the world?

Eliza was just trying to be nice.

She was also being pretty fucking nosey.

Yeah, but she's also pretty fucking pretty.

Right? You've got to admit.

She's pretty enough.


Wow, you're picky.

You think she's hot, don't you?

You got a boner for her, huh?

Will you stop, asshole? Oh! Oh! Oh!

Dude! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What?


I lost my contact, man.

Aw, shit. I spent all my money on that.


Oh, wait. Wait, is this it?

Jesus, you found it.

I'm gonna find the bathroom. Are you gonna come back to the party?


There you are. I've missed you, baby.

Hey, Annabelle. Annabelle?

Yeah, keep going just go.

Where are you going?

Oh, my God, that guy was totally about to maul me.

Did you see that?

Why are you looking at me like that?

Is that coke?

You can't be that country.

Have you never done it before?

I, uh, snorted some ground up chalk as a joke once.

Well, your luck's about to change.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit!

Whoa, whoa.

Oh, shit!

Fucker! Oh, I'm sorry!

What the fuck are you doing in my car, huh?

I didn't! No, I wasn't!

You touching my herb in my car?

You fucking leaf thief! I wasn't!

Have you lost your fucking mind, Judy?


Jude so hates my guts, doesn't he?

And I came here to be friends and as usual I've screwed it up.


Jude's actually really sweet.

He just doesn't like to show it.

Something tells me you're the sweet one.

What's this?

Oh, it's um, it's a token for the subway.

Get out!

Yeah, uh, my brother gave it to me.

It's supposed to be good luck.

I'm sure.

Hey, can I ask like a weird favor?


If I gave you his address, could you go see him and get him to call me? He doesn't have a phone.

Are you Indian?


Uh, yeah...


Uh, Gandhi not Geronimo.

You have the most amazing eyelashes.

Like the women in the Bollywood movies.

Thank you.


I like that better.

Oh, it doesn't matter to me.

I can't see anything anyway. My contact fell out.

And where is it?

In my hand.

Wait, what are you doing?

I'm getting it moist.

Come here.

Which eye is it?

Is it in?

Think so.

I think so too.

Oh! Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

Three, two, one, Happy New Year!


Jude! I'm fucking over here!


You okay, man?

Untie me. Jesus.

What happened?

Oh, shit! What the fuck happened?

Oh, my God!

Let me get this out.

Where were you guys all that time?

Uh, just, you know, talking.

Did she say anything about me?

No. No.

Just that maybe that you hated her.

I don't hate her.

This whole night is just fucked up.

Pretty pissed, huh?

Sure you okay?


We can begin with the panties again if you want, man.

No, I have a better idea. Come here.

What are you doing?

Freon, dude.

It's free.

You sure you know what you're doing, man?

Yes, I've done it before.

I kind of just wanna go home.

Jude... Jesus!

Stop being a pussy.

You owe me.



I think we're good.

Dude, dude!

Take it!


Oh, my God!


Happy New Year's.

You're a dick.

It felt good. Oh, shit!


What the hell are you two doing out here?



You okay?

Are you okay?

What is it?

Oh, my God!

Oh, Teddy.

Teddy, wake up, honey!

Teddy, Teddy, honey, wake up!


Stay here, I'm gonna...

Don't move. Jude, don't move, okay?

Don't move.

I'm gonna call an ambulance.


And a happy New Year's Day, New York.

Here's to your hangover with this classic from Traffic.

Jesus Christ.

Lester's pad.

Hey, Harriet.

How'd it go?

You and Eliza have fun?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

What? Who?

Oh, my God!

What you want, baby? I got what you need.

Who are you looking for?

I'm looking for Johnny.

His brother Teddy sent me.

You just found him.

You want a cigarette?

No, I'm Straight Edge and Krishna.


That's, uh, quite a double bill.

Well, not really.

They complement each other perfectly.

Clean living, transformation, and transcendence.

It's funny you, uh, having a brother that's like completely opposite you.

We have different fathers but we're more alike than we look.

Yeah, I don't really even know him that well. We just met actually.

So, you got no phone in your place?

I've got no nothing in my place. I'm squatting.

Rise and shine, Louie.

Need to use the phone.

All right, Johnny.

Jesus, you all right? Yeah, thanks, man.


What are you home now?

Where the hell have you been?


What the fuck are you saying?

This is all your fault.

This is all your fault.

You fucking cunt!

For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever.

The book of Jude tells us that when Christ reappears, he will not be alone.

But instead surrounded by 10,000 saints.

Let us take comfort in knowing that today this number becomes 10,001.

Who's "TM"?

Just a boy who died.


Is he ever gonna go back to school?


It's me!


I hope I didn't alarm you.

I just thought maybe it'd be good if we had a few, few seconds before the girls knew I'm here, huh.


What the fuck are you doing here?

Come to kidnap you.

What did you... What's with your hair?


I'm sorry about your buddy, Teddy, you know.

You hardly knew him.

Yeah, but I'm still sorry, you know.

You got weed in here? Maybe.

Maybe. Come on, don't bullshit me.

Where is it? Let me see it.



Where did you get this ditch weed? - I stole it.

Yeah, well stealing's not cool, Jude.

It's not cool at all. All right?

From now on, you're only smoking your dad's shit.


What did you mean when you said you were here to kidnap me?

I'm rescuing you.

Taking you to the Big Apple.

And why would I go with you?

I'm offering you Manhattan, champ.

Don't play hard to get.

Would I have to go to school?

Afraid so.

Well, fuck that. I'm never going back.

Except for, I mean, driver's ed, but...

Okay, New York public schools blow anyway.

You're safer on the street.

But you're gonna have to have gainful employment and promise not to tell your mom.

When will we leave?

Tomorrow morning.

Don't you just feel the bad vibes in this place?


Pack up your shit, huh?

I'm gonna go say hi to your mom.

Good talking to you.

You know what? Fuck you! Uh...

Hey, hold on a second. Prudence, my baby girl, hi!


What are you doing here? Look at you.

Growing up into a stone-cold fox.

Uh, I'll be off in a couple of secs, okay?

Yeah, I'm back. Sorry.

No, that, yeah, that's what I'm saying.



Hello, Les.

Remember me? Yeah, hello.

How long have you been here?

Damn you look good, huh.

Long enough to have a successful father-son reunion.

Really? It went well? Yeah, yeah. No, it went great.

We're gonna leave in the morning.

I figure you might make us something delicious, you know?

And then, maybe I crash with you?

Oh, really? For the night, yeah.

Is that the plan? That's the plan, yeah.

Thinking you wouldn't have worn that patchouli, if you didn't want a little bit of Lester. Come on!

Stop, please!


Come on, wake up. Flashback's over. - Mmm...

I thought we were gonna have a lost weekend. - Oh, no.

I've had enough of those to last a lifetime.

One more time. No.

You have a long road ahead of you.

Come on, come on. Get up.

It'll only take another second.

Your son is packed and ready to go.

Harriet, come on, come on, come on.


This place is a shoebox.

Yeah, well it's a rent controlled shoebox.

I got it off this lady friend of mine who went back to her husband.

The one you got pregnant and left your family for?

Uh, no.

A different one.

She never had that kid, by the way.

What about Eliza's mom?

Did you break up that marriage too? - Uh, no.

Eliza's dad dropped dead of a heart attack when she was about...


He was some kind of fancy pants lawyer I think.

Eliza's dad, Teddy, the almost-Donahue kid.

It's almost as easy to not be here as it is to be here.

Yeah, pretty much.

Okay, I cleaned this off for you.

Okay, this is your domain.

No pets.

Otherwise anything goes.

How about a little pack-a-lolo before unpacking?


That's fine with me. Yeah?

This is one of your mother's finest.

I call her Gertrude.

"Hamlet, cast thy knighted color off. "

I guess you can see why Eliza's mom won't spend time here, huh?

Would you hold this for a sec?

It's all part of my master plan.

These are tips that you need to learn on your way to manhood.

Truthfully you'll probably be pulling a lot of ass now that you're a New Yorker.

Did I already tell you that I have a handgun?

You're serious?

Yeah, yeah. .38 Special, it's right underneath the kitchen sink there.

His name's McQueen, but don't ever touch it, unless I tell you to.

Why would you tell me to?

I guess we should probably talk about curfew, right?

What curfew? Exactly.

As long as you demonstrate that you are somewhat in control of your faculties, all right?

As long as you return at night from wherever it is you go, I am willing to forgo any curfew.

Is Mom cool with all this?

If you stay out of trouble, your mother doesn't need to know everything.

She seems to be of the opinion that this is some kind of rehab clinic.

Which it clearly is not.



Glad to hear it.


I've got good news.

Les' son is in town, and we're all having dinner tonight, which is, you know, I... I think's a really good thing.

I'm in the shower.

You see, Diane used to be a world-class ballerina.

And the thing about ballerinas is, when they're dancing, they do a ton of blow.

And when they're retired, they smoke a ton of grass.

So that's how you met her?

Yeah, well, no, actually I was dating her friend first...


Thank you.

Hi. We have a table for...

Oh, hey, hey!


Hi. Come and join us for a drink.

Look at you. Hi.

How are you?


Well, we're all just so thrilled you're here with us in New York, aren't we Eliza?

Eliza, come on, you've been whining about meeting my kids forever and now one of them finally materializes and you check out.

I'm not checking out, okay?

How do you like it so far in New York?

Oh, it's so much better than Vermont.

And the music's great too.

And what kind of music do you listen to?

Hardcore mostly.


Is that one you know, Eliza?

Eliza knows it.

And she even saw The Misfits in concert. Right, Dad?

And what does it sound like?

Um, have you ever heard of punk?

Darling, I'm from England.

What do you mean, The Clash, the Sex Pistols?

It's kind of, but a huge scene in New York right now is Straight Edge, which basically means no drinking, no drugs, and, uh, just not being promiscuous.

In the old days we called that "square. "

I'm not square, Dad. Yeah, well...

Some of them are recovering addicts. Mmm-hmm.

Some of them have parents who are addicts.

Well, do you know what, I think that sounds like a fabulous organization, don't you, Eliza?

Fabulous, darling.


Teddy's brother is in a really popular Straight Edge band.

Is he? - I'm trying to find out where he lives.

Well, that shouldn't be too difficult, doesn't his mother know where he lives?

Oh, his mother's nice but... She's crazy.

Off her rocker, yeah, that too, right?

Do you have, um, some more sake?

Yes, I'm dying for some more sake. Let's get some immediately.

Excuse me, hi, could we have another large sake, please?

You have Johnny's address?

That's right by us. I mean, it's a fourth tier hell, but I'll take you over there if you want.

This is Teddy's handwriting.

How'd you get this?

Yes, how did you get that, darling?

Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.

Feels weird that she got to Johnny's before me.

Yeah, but now I get to show you.

I'm the best tour guide in the world, man.

I'll tell you everything there is to know about this lovely little hamlet known as Alphabet City.

Okay, the A in Avenue A stands for, "Asking. "

As in, "You're asking for it. "

The B stands for "Buddy, watch your back. "

The C stands for "Crazy. "

As in, "Are you fucking crazy?"

And D is for "Dude, you are dead. "

What, you serious? I'm absolutely serious, but the road to hell is paved with some fun along the way.

Like check this out, right, you see this right here?

Does that ring a bell? Not really.

Album cover to Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti.

Oh, shit! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got Lenny Bruce's apartment somewhere down here and Abbie Hoffman was somewhere up here.

Back a block, you got the most famous bathhouse in the world.

Bathhouse? Yeah, it's like a place where dudes like to soap each other up and get crazy, you know. - That's gross.

Yeah, that's what the city thought too, that's why they shut it down, man.

AIDS is changing everything around here.

Look how lucky we are, you know?

World-renowned Tompkins Square Park is right outside our door.

Doesn't look, uh, very park-like.

You sound like all the yuppies who want to get the homeless out of here and make it look pretty.

Like that's going to happen.

Well, don't be so sure, champ, money's got a big mouth.

All right, this is you, this is your block.

Should be right down there.

Yeah, but this is about as far as I'll go, it's too dangerous.

Well, thanks, Dad.

Don't worry, you'll be fine.

Thanks a lot. Okay.

Jude, run! Run!

Keep running, white boy.

Fuck you!

Hey, Johnny, it's, uh... It's Jude, Teddy's friend.

I just moved here with my dad.

Thought you know, uh...

You made it out of Vermont, buddy.

Come here, man.

It's like a little piece of Teddy just walked in my door.

Guys, guys.

Meet Jude K-Horn.

He's a kid from my old hood who just relocated to live with his drug-dealer dad.

He was my brother's best friend.

It says everything about him.


Hey, what's up. Hey, man.

Here, sit down.

Cool dragon tattoo, man. Thanks.

Yeah, Johnny's masterpiece.

He's an artist with a needle or a sharpie.

So, uh, Jude, tell me...

Word is that daddy's weed is pretty out-of-this-world, huh?

Yeah, no, it's incredible. Oh, excellent.

How long do you plan to exist in the greatest city in the world like a fucked up zombie?


Gentlemen... Army of One has just inherited their first official charity case.

Whoo! Yeah!

Oh, whoa, wait.

What are you doing? Well, you still play, don't you?

I mean, a little, but... - Yeah, okay, let's see what you got, Vermont.

We'll start at the basics. Minor Threat.

Darling, do you like this shade of red?

Just bought it at Saks and I'm not sure it's my color.

Looks fine. Really?

We've got to go shopping when I get back.

They've got some really cute new things for spring, you know.


Okay, darling, well the car's downstairs.

I'm only going to be at this silly dance conference for three nights.

All my contact info is on the fridge, Nina's here.

Curfew's at 9:00, okay? Mmm-hmm.

And Les is around if you need him for anything.

I love you. I'm going to miss you.

You won't be lonely, will you? - No.

All right, sweetie, call me anytime, okay?

Have fun.

Your bag, miss.

I'm sorry? Your handbag, miss.

I'm just... I'm just going in here. - It's policy.

Fine, I'll just... I'll just go leave it in the car then.



It feels weird that we haven't hung out, you know?

Yeah, I know. I've been kind of preoccupied.

Well, I'm psyched you want to check out Johnny's matinee.

You seem so different.

What do you mean?

More serious.

Well, look, I think I know how to change that.

Check this out.

What is that?

It's shrooms.

I thought it'd be fun.

And Johnny mentioned something about going to a Krishna temple, which could be, like, seriously trippy, you know?

I thought you were going whole-hog Straight Edge with the new haircut and all, no?

I just say that to bug my dad.

I'm mainly into it for the music.

Well, I don't want any.

Come on, a little won't hurt.

I said no, Jude!

How come you would with Teddy, but not with me?

What is that supposed to mean?

You know, they found coke in his system.

So I figured, he had to have gotten it from you.

You don't even know what you're talking about.

Why would you say something so shitty to me?

Do you have any idea what I'm going through?

Calm down! I just... I just thought...

You thought what?

I just... I just thought we could party a little.

Like when Teddy was here.

And maybe it would feel like he was still with us, you know?

I'm sorry, Jude.


What's going on?

We're right here with you, we're on the train going to Brooklyn.

You'll be fine.

Am I dead?

We're right here with you.

Please, God, tell me he's going to be okay.

This can't happen to me again, tell me he's going to be okay.

Am I dead?

Am I dead? No, you're fine.

You're all right.

Oh! What is going on?

Listen, you guys are both just shrooming out, okay?

You got trampled on and she got paranoid.

Is this your idea of fun?

She didn't take any.

Eliza, are you okay?

What the fuck?

Everything is my fault, Jude.

I'm the one who gave Teddy coke, don't you get it?

That's why I'm being punished.

No, no, I made him huff fucking Freon, okay?

I'm the one who needs to be punished.

My God!

This isn't about punishment, okay?

I just want to stop it all.

No more drugs, no more fucking up.

Abstinence and restraint make one fit for immortality.

That's what these people here believe, that's what needs to come out of all this.

True commitment, all right?

Commitment from you, Jude.

I'm ready to commit. Yeah.

I'm ready to stop.

Eliza? I have to stop.

Don't you two get it?

I'm fucking pregnant.

- Les. Yeah.

What's going on? I haven't heard from Jude in over a week.

Harriet, Harriet, that's too much stress, too early.

It's not healthy for you, babe.

Not healthy at all.

Put Jude on.

Hold on, hold on.

Oh, looks like he's up and at 'em.

It's 7:00. You told me he leaves for school at 7:40.

Yeah, well...

Just hold on one second, okay? I got another call.


Yello? Yeah, I, um...

I just spoke to the housekeeper and she told me that Eliza was out all night with Jude.

You do know that she's on strict orders to be home by 9:00?

Oh, yeah, well, they went to, uh...

Uh, Johnny's show I guess, and it got late.

Who the hell is Johnny?

Jude's new best bud.

You know, he's Mr. Clean, brainwashing my kid to stay off drugs.

Just put her on, will you?

She is there, isn't she? That's what she told the housekeeper.

Well, yeah, look, she's just, uh...

She's in the shower and so why don't I just have her call you back in 10, okay?

Listen, I got somebody else on the other line, all right?

Just hold on, hold on one second, yeah.

That's good.

Should we tell your mom?

She'll just make me get an abortion.

What makes you say that?

Because she said to me, "Eliza, darling, if you ever get pregnant, "you're getting an abortion. "

You know, it's like Teddy died that night to be born again inside you.

Yeah, that's kind of how I feel.

Like it happened for a reason.

But sometimes I don't know how I feel.

"For the soul, there's neither birth nor death at any given time. "

What is that, the Old Testament?

The Bhagavad Gita.

Maybe we should tell my dad.

He'll just tell my mom, Jude.

We shouldn't tell anybody.

That way we can control it.

Well, I obviously can't keep it a secret forever.

Yeah, but after a certain point, they can't take it away from you.

And where is the baby going to live?

I mean, are you planning on staying in school?

You cross one bridge at a time.

At the very least, you should see a doctor.

I'm sure he'll ask to see an adult.

Well, Johnny is an adult.

From here on out, I'm going to be anybody Eliza needs me to be.

We're in this together now, we're a little family.

Right, Jude?


Jude! Shit!

Okay, okay, okay.

Jude, we need to discuss this whole curfew again.

I thought we had kind of a working arrangement.

You know?


So you're just going to play father now and lay a whole new set of rules on me?

No, no.

I am going to revisit all this after I have digested my vegan breakfast, eh?

You know what I'd like to know is what my girlfriend's daughter and my son, and some weird Hare Krishna dude are all doing together.

We're just friends, okay?

No, I'm not judging.

I mean, I met your mom at an orgy.

So tell me, what did you think of the show, last night?

That was last night? Feels like 100 years ago.

I thought you guys were really good.

It's a very weird scene though.

In what way?

Well, I mean...

First of all, I might as well have been invisible to most of the guys there.

Do I look that disgustingly pregnant already?

No. Don't take that personally, Straight Edge guys are different.

They're not just about meeting girls.

Well, what about you?

What about me?

Well, are you gonna...

Are you gonna wait till you're married, or what?

I mean, that's what the whole thing's about, right?

Not that there is anything wrong with it, I'm obviously a walking advertisement for abstinence.

What the whole thing is all about is community.

A hardcore family that's free from all the bullshit that was spoon-fed to us by a generation that would rather fry their brains than purify them.

But I was, I was asking specifically about you.

Oh, well, you know, I'm committed to the Straight Edge life but I'm also just as red-blooded as the next guy.

Well, that's a very vague answer.

It's none of my business. I don't even know why I'm asking.

Hey, listen...

I happen to think you look really great.

Thank you.

And I meant what I said before, about being anybody that you need me to be.

I know you did.

Hey, I thought I'd never get away from him.

You didn't tell him anything, did you?

Of course not. I promised Eliza I wouldn't.

So when Eliza's mom finally finds out about our secret, I think we should tell her I'm the father. - Why you?

Well, I'm Teddy's brother, so it's blood.

And I'm also not a minor, which you know, could help us out in a lot of legal situations.

And, and then what?

And then we tell her, Eliza and I are a committed couple.

Why would we do that?

'Cause maybe we should be.

Except for the fact that you barely know each other.

We're already getting to know each other, right, Eliza?

We did have a nice brunch.


Anyway, look, nothing should get in the way of what is in the best interest for Teddy's child.

You know.

This is about love.

Plus, there's nothing not to like about me.

I got to go.

I'll call you. All right.

Spare change?

She's something, isn't she, Uncle Jude?


Mademoiselle Eliza?

Okay, we're here. I agreed, we're on the train.

You want to tell me what's going on?

Eliza's bleeding.

Bleeding? What kind of bleeding?

You know, like a, like a woman bleeding.

Okay. So what makes you think I'm more qualified to deal with that situation than her mom?

She's pregnant.

Are you shitting me?

Jude, what are you thinking about?

You know I got a buttload of condoms in my pad.

It's not mine, Dad.

And even if it was, you're in no position to preach.

Okay, okay, well who...

Who's done the deed then?

Johnny. Johnny?

Why is Johnny not on the train going to meet her?

He doesn't have a phone.


You can't tell Diane yet, Dad.

You have to promise.

In downtown Manhattan's Alphabet City, tensions continued to rise today, when a stand-off occurred between squatters, their supporters and the police over a building deemed unsafe.

If she loses the baby, okay...

I mean, you hate to say this, but it's probably for the best.

You know, she's not ready to be a mom.

It's nature's way of taking care of things.

How does it happen?

I mean, is it just like blood or...

I do not know.

I'll tell you this though.

It's a relief to me that you're not the dad, okay?

You don't want to get tied up in that.

You know, the lady's grieving, she's distraught, she feels guilty, you feel guilty.


You know you were born here?

It's true.

The night we adopted you, your mom and I we were up in the nursery in these rocking chairs, they gave us scrubs with these little shower caps for our heads and for our feet, like they thought we were going to give you the plague.

We just waited and waited and waited for you.

Seemed like we'd wait forever.

Rocking back and forth, you know, your mom was so uptight.

She was so worried your birth mother changed her mind.

She had this king size bag of M&M's right, and she just ate the whole thing while she was waiting for you.

And then they, uh... They let us hold you.

And you were so little, like a rabbit or something, you know, with this shock of black hair.

And you looked at me and I was like, "Holy shit!

"This kid is mine, "and the world's a fucking mess and I just wanna...

"I want to protect him from everything, you know. "

I mean, I have to protect him from everything.

Oh, I walked out of here a different person.

Yeah, well... So I thought.

And then Prudence miraculously shows up.

Right, first they tell you, it's impossible.

Next thing, you're swimming in babies, two in one year.

You know women, they make their decisions and men, we just do our best not to be men.

The whole system needs a looking over.


Oh, Jesus...

Hey, sweetheart.

"Bacterial vaginosis. "

Sounds exotic.

It's just an infection, Les.

Yeah, still, it sounds scary, you know?

He saw her on the monitor, you know?

She was jumping around like a jumping bean.


So they told you? No.

No, I mean, I didn't want to know.

For some reason I keep calling it Annabelle.

Oh, well, your mom's gonna be psyched.

You know, we're getting you home before 9:00.

No screaming, okay? Yeah.

All right. Okay.

I can't believe you, of all people, ratted us out.

I didn't tell her!

She got the one bill the hospital didn't send to my apartment.

That's how far I've gone to cover for your asses.

Anything for a pound, right, Les?

Leave the actual parenting to somebody who has the time.

Okay, you can blame me for screwing up my own kids, but this one you can't pin on me, okay? - Thank you.

Well, I suppose I could've kept better tabs on her, if I just let her drop out and smoke reefer all day, hey?

I don't smoke reefer anymore.

Okay, listen, you two are peas in a pod, all right?

You know why she doesn't tell you anything, Diane?

Because you try to control every situation you get your hands on.

And you know why she does that, 'cause you are totally out of control, all right?

What, you been kicked out of 19 schools already.

Two, Les, two.

You love to exaggerate, don't you?

Yeah, well no wonder she wants you to go to this Florence Critteren facility.


Florence who? Oh, God.

Why would I need to go to a facility?

It's the only place that'll have you.

It's a place where they take your baby.

No, no, they don't take it.

They don't sell it into slavery. They don't.

They give it to loving parents who can take care of it properly.

You mean people like my dad?

Oh, God! Okay.

Okay, that's this, this, what's his name?

Johnny. Johnny, thank you.

Okay, so what I don't want right now, is a big scene, okay? - Okay.

This is an adult situation which we're all going to get through like civilized people, right?

I've even had Nina make us all a nice leg of lamb.

We're vegan.

So I hear you three have been spending quite a bit of time together.

Oops, sorry.

It's like they speak in code, isn't it, Les.

They say, um, "Straight Edge," vaygan... Vegan.

Vegan's are from the the planet Vega. - Vegan, sorry.

Vegan, yeah.

We just go to the temple mostly.

Yeah, I heard. The, the temple.

Not like the temple where Eliza was bat mitzvah'ed, no.

Hmm. - It's the Hare Krishna temple in Brooklyn.

No, of course it is.

So what do you do for a living Johnny?

I'm a musician.

I'm also a tattoo artist, but I don't... I don't tell too many people that, 'cause it's illegal in the city right now.

You don't have to worry about telling her anything, she's practically married to a drug dealer.

Uh-uh, a botanist. - No, we're not even remotely married.

Specialty in cannabis.

So do you manage to make a decent living applying your tattoos?

Um, I'm getting there.

I work out of my squat right now, so there's not a whole lot of overhead.

That's smart. In fact, there's none.

What about your family, where do they live?

You know, I don't really have much family, ma'am.

But I will soon. Christ!


Sorry. No, I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm sorry that my entire existence has disappointed you. Okay...

You know I bet that first kid you aborted would have been a real winner.

Eliza! - You obviously picked the wrong fetus.

For God's sake, Eliza! Oh, my God!

Here's the fact, ma'am.

I want this baby just as much as Eliza does and nothing in this world is going to change that.

So given that, I feel like now is as good a time as any.

What, no, stop. Wait, okay, okay...

Sorry, hello? Dinner is officially over. Les!

Yeah, okay, yeah. Hey, hey, Johnny, Johnny...

It's a school night, so I think you should leave.

Les, could you help him go? Yeah, come on, man.

I thought this is what we wanted. Bad timing, bud.

Bad timing. - Good night, sweetheart. It was really nice to meet you.

I'm sure I'll see you again soon.

Um, thanks for coming, okay?

You're not going anywhere.


Shh, shh! Hey, come on now.

Hey, it's 3:30 in the morning, all right? Jude's asleep.

Good. I need to talk to you alone.

Oh, my God!

How did you escape?

Waited for her Valium to kick in and slipped out the service stairwell.

Oh, great, great.

So, what, you're gonna, you're gonna move in with us?

Only temporarily. Yeah?

Johnny and I are getting married and I'm going on tour with the band.

Okay, well, just so you know, that's about the worst fucking plan I've ever heard in my whole life, okay?

I do know. Have you got a better one?

I do. You have the baby here and then, you know, we sell it on the black market.

I got a dude in Brooklyn who says he'll give us an easy 10 grand for a white one.

And what if it's not white?

Well, that sounds like a conversation you should have with good old Johnny.

Come on, you really want to marry this necklace-wearing Hare Rama?

You love this guy?

I love how much he cares. Right, and...

And we can't get a real marriage license till I turn 18 without parental consent and that's obviously not going to happen.

It's more of a spiritual union thing at the temple.

Okay. All right, well.

Why don't you just try playing it all a little bit by ear, you know?

Is that what you do, Les?

You just play it all by ear?

Yeah, I find it's the best organ to play by.

Yeah, I mean, I have been accused of playing by another, but, uh...

Come on. No, hey.

Come on, you're just so young, sweetheart. You are.

I just need some place safe to go, Les.

Some place I can actually think, away from her.

You know, if I help you out, it'll pretty much destroy what's left of my relationship with your mother, right?



Did you meet my old lady when you were out there in Vermont?

No. We were too busy with sex and drugs.

Well, she's a piece of work, you know, but...

...she's better at this kind of shit than I am.

You know, I believe in this and I have to do it for Teddy.

Neither of us had a father in our life.

It would mean a lot to me if you'd say, you'd understand.

I can't say that because I don't.

There's a strong tradition in lots of cultures that when a man dies, his brother steps in to marry his wife.

It's even in Krishna consciousness, re-read the Laws of Manu.

They call it "widow inheritance. "

Now that's fucking romantic.

So you're just going to carry your brother's ashes around with you, forever?

Rooster, come on.

Not even the dead get to be free.


Open the door, you fuck. I know you're in there.

Just trying to get my daughter. - Oh, all right.



Take good care of her, Saint Jude.

It's a bit late for that, Dad.

The van's a piece of shit.

I'm talking about Eliza, champ.

You should talk to Johnny about that.

He's her husband now. Mmm.

At least in the eyes of Krishna.

You don't sound too happy about that.

What are you going to do? Hmm.

Try to get Princess Di off your trail, if she'll even talk to me.

You know, I really appreciate all this.

What else am I gonna do? After being such a useless shit for...

Let's get this show on the road!

Yeah, all right, all right!

Take it easy, Jude. Sorry.

God, he's only had his license for, like, a week.

Oh, I hope we make it there alive.

Is, uh, is Rooster not coming at all?


Rooster is, uh...

He's gonna play with another band for a bit.

Why's he doing that?

Well, the lead singer, uh, had a really bad heroin problem and needed a good influence.

So who's gonna play guitar for Army of One?


There is an open slot, my man.

This time you've really crossed the line. - Okay, tell me, what was I supposed to do?

Certainly not lend them your van, Les!

They were gonna run away to God knows where.

I convinced them to take her to Harriet's where she will be safe.

Well, now you can take me there then. - No, I can't... - Okay?

No, she says if you show up there, she's gonna go on tour with the band.

Hopping from motel to motel...

Come on, that's no life for a pregnant teenager.

Why is she doing this to me?

Look, I, I have their confidence, okay?

There's a, there's a open line of communication, right?

Now, Harriet will tell me everything.

Eliza is in good hands. Come on, babe.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but I've been doing all this for you.

You really need to leave now, Les.

Jude. Hey, Mom.


Look at your hair.

Is it really you? It really is.

Something smells good. Mmm, come in.

And you must be Eliza.

Hi. Hey, Prudence.

Tell me, sweetie, you're how far along?

I'm almost six months. Wonderful!

Then you're way past all that morning sickness nonsense.

Mom says you started smoking. I hope it's only cigarettes.

Come in, it's nice to see you.

Come in, I have a vegetarian dinner...

Oh, my God. ... or breakfast, or whatever, on.

Hey, hi. - Well, come on, come in. Hello, Johnny.

Harriet's so great.

So easy to talk to.


She was... She was so good to Teddy too.

You know?

She was like... She was like the mom he never had.

So I guess this is, uh...

It's kind of like our honeymoon, huh?



It ain't exactly Hawaii, but it'll do.

Yeah, but it tastes so much better without the...

No, I asked for a salad and you would come back with one-inch carrots!

I remember that, I remember that.

"Okay, need a few more. " Very sweet.

No, no. We were just gonna have one carrot, that was dinner.

How much of this do you want?

Um, well, I see four there, so probably four.

I'm hungry.

Excuse me one second, guys.

Sure, hon.





Yeah, but... But... Why, why...

Why would you move to California?

That isn't fair.

It's not like we ever had anything that was defined, you know?

That's how you wanted it, Rooster.

Maybe we both use the scene as a cover, huh?

I know.

Please don't do anything until I see you.

I just lost my brother, I don't need to lose you too.

And the first leg of our world tour comes to an end.


What're you doing up at this hour?

I could ask you the same question.

Annabelle won't let me sleep anymore.


Johnny boy snores.

What're you writing?

It's just some lyrics. Hmm.

For a song.

Is it about a girl?


No, it's not like that.

Oh, come on.

With that beautiful face, I'm sure you have to beat the groupies away by now.

You know that's not what our scene's about.


Are you really gonna let those stupid, Straight Edge rules keep you from finding true love?

You know, today is Teddy's birthday.

He would have been 18.

Happy birthday, Teddy.

I don't, I don't understand.

You said that whenever you weren't playing, you would be with me.

I know. I got to make sure my squat's okay.

You know, the city, they're evicting people left and right, now that the yuppies want to live there. It's crazy.

Don't be mad, okay?

I'm working on a new plan for both of us.

Jude, have you...

Have you ever thought about...

Searching for your birth parents?

Not really.

I, uh, I was talking to Eric in your band.

He told me he met his birth mother in Korea.

He said it was a great experience.

Eric's adopted?

His last name's Steinberg, what do you think?

I don't know, I mean, he never talks about it.

That's because he's okay with it.

He's got such an interesting perspective on how life works, that guy.

Why're you talking to Eric about stuff like this?

I think Johnny's got someone else.

Why aren't you saying anything?

I don't know what to say.

Maybe you do.

Maybe you do, Jude, and you just won't.


Just say it.

Johnny and I are a sham.

Oh, God. This whole thing's a big joke.

You're gonna have Teddy's baby and it will be beautiful.

I don't even remember what Teddy looks like.


I try.

I try really hard when I'm falling asleep at night, but I just...

I can't seem to put his face together in my mind.

You should have said. I, I have pictures of him.

It's not... It's not about pictures, Jude.

You and Johnny are exactly the same.

You both want some little replacement for Teddy.

That's why I call her Annabelle.

So that everyone will just stop it and think about me once in a while.


I will always be here for you.

Hey. Hmm?


Jude, Jude...

Stop. No, I wanna be with you.

Jude, Jude...

Do you really want to lose your virginity to some messed up, pregnant girl in a green house?


Wait, what makes you think I'm a virgin?

Teddy told me you both were.

Thanks, Teddy.

Oh, God.


Oh, Jude...

So, how long will you be gone?

I don't know. I just need to confront Johnny and then I'll decide.

I can't just sit around here anymore.

But you'll come back before? Yes, I will.

Whether he wants it or not, I want you, of all people, to be there when it happens.

That means the world to me, hon.

Thank you.

You'll come back soon? So I can tell you how very proud of you I am.

I will, Mom.



Mmm-hmm. Diane.

Diane Caplan.

Oh, shit!

So, I'm sure you've heard that I was against all this.

But I'm...

I've had some time to think about it now and I'm prepared to accept it, and to help her in whatever way she needs.

That's what I came to tell her.

Well, I feel awful.

It didn't occur to me that you would actually come, when I called.

I just wanted you to know how much she missed you.

No, you were just trying to help. I...

I'm famous for my bad timing.

I actually would have been here sooner but I was terrified of driving myself and...

God, that must sound so silly to a woman like you, but...

I didn't want Les to bring me here because I thought that might be, um...

You know... Awkward.

That could be awkward.

Little bit.

Well, I'm curious, you just said, "A woman like you. "

Uh, what did you mean by that?

No! I didn't mean...

God, no. I, I just meant that you, you...

Strike me as somebody who's, um...

You know, who's hardy.

Ha, that sounds like a polite way of saying bumpkin. - Gosh!

I've insulted you already, haven't I? No, no. It's fine.

I am a bit of a bumpkin, and I'm hardy too. It's okay, it's okay.

But you know what, believe it or not, I don't drive either.

Really? Mmm-mmm.

God, how do you manage that out here?

You're in the middle of nowhere.


What's so funny?

Do you think that when we get older and...

We've, like, drifted apart 'cause...

Let's face it, the odds are that we will, right?

Will you remember me as the most fucked up girl you ever knew?


I would.

And in the East Village the police set up a perimeter around Tompkins Square Park in anticipation of a clash over the community board's new rule.

Angry locals blame gentrification...

Just leave us off here.

Excuse me?

What is all this?

Fucking mayor wants a curfew in the park to get rid of the homeless.

But we know he wants to get rid of us too.

Come on, let's get out of here.

I really don't know how to thank you for everything you've done.

I feel like I should offer you money or something.

Don't be silly, I've enjoyed having Eliza here.

I think it was good for me.

In what way?

I don't know, really. I...

I suspect it had something to do with the idea of Jude's birth mother.

She was apparently the exact same age.

Was she? Mmm-hmm.

What happened to her?

I don't know.

I do think that even with all this mess we've somehow managed to raise spirited, smart kids, you know? Right, in spite of ourselves.

Yes, and especially despite Lester. Yeah.

Hey, Mr. Clean. Come on in, there.

Yeah. Hi.

Okay, I, uh, I organized this little soiree.

Have a seat, uh...

These two showed up at my doorstep.

And it seemed like there was some serious air that needed to be cleared. Yeah, I know.

You haven't called us for two weeks.

You really think that's acceptable?

Only because I needed to wait.

For what, Johnny? For the baby to be born?

No. To be 100% sure, but now I am.

So I'm really glad you're both here.

Sure about what?

What is this?

That's Ravi Milan and his wife, Arpeeta.

Ravi's a lawyer.

Why do we need a lawyer?

Ravi's also Teddy's dad.

I knew, I knew from my mom he was in New York somewhere but I, I never attempted to find him.

I, I always figured that Teddy would do that someday, but...

You know, lately, it occurred to me that Teddy's dad might be able to help us out with money.

You know, for the baby.

And, and after having finally met him, I think he can help us out with so much more.

Like what?


Like with a home.

What're you saying?

The Milans, they have no children.

When I spoke to Ravi he was crushed by what happened to Teddy.

He felt like he completely missed out on the chance to ever get to know him because of my mom's insanity.

What're you saying?

Adoption is something the Milans have discussed for some time now.

Oh, my God.

This is what you've wanted the whole time, isn't it?

No, no. Isn't it?

Well, why didn't you just fuckin' say so from the beginning?

Why did you have to put me through all this? - Whoa, whoa...

Eliza, Eliza, what I wanted was for Teddy's child to be with family.

Teddy's child? Teddy's child.

At the time I thought that that could only mean me. - It's Teddy's child?

I can't believe this. I can't fuckin' believe this.

But Ravi has so much more to offer a child than us.

It's everything we wanna give Annabelle.

But better.

I can't believe this.


Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, Jude...

You're a fraud! He just wants to be with his fuckin' boyfriend.

He wants to run to California, just toss Eliza and the baby aside.

That's not how it is. Tell the truth!

Jude, hey, hey.

Fuckin' liar!


Excuse me, excuse me.

I don't really know what's going on.

Jude is right.

I've fucked everything up.

All I wanted was to finally do right by Teddy.

We say fuck you! We say fuck you!


We say fuck you! We say fuck you!



I have the right to be here!



Get back here!

Hey, hey!



Hey, Eliza! Are you okay?

All right, watch out, all right? She's pregnant!

Nobody gets to lay a claim on this baby but me, Jude. - I know.


I wanted to have a family.

Just a family, a good family who wants a baby, not people trying to bring Teddy back, not some long-lost father who's trying to make up for his shitty past, okay? I know.

I just want a family, that's all I want!

Whatever you want, that's what we'll do. Okay?

Now let's just get the fuck out of here.

Is the baby okay?

Oh, hey, hey, hey, the patient speaks.

Baby's right as rain, sweetheart.

How are you?

Oh, I kept my eyes shut tight the whole time.

I didn't want to see anything.

Then I asked for them to give me something to sleep. - Mmm.

You know, you've been asleep for seven years.

This is your fourth child. Stop it, Lester.

It's okay, Harriet.

He means well.

Sweetheart, the nurse wants to know if you'd like to hold the baby.

They say it's too easy to fall in love.

Are you sure?


But I want Jude to.



Follow me, Jude.

Oh, my girl.

My brave, brave girl.

You know, I was thinking that, uh...

You know, if you wanna be we could be roommates again.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a lead on an apartment that...

Looks like it could be a lot bigger, you know, two rooms.

Yeah, that'd be awesome. Hmm.

If a guy's gonna get his shit together, you know, he needs a little space.

And I'm speaking for both of us.

Here it is.

I always thought he'd look like Teddy.

He doesn't look like Eliza either.

He just looks like himself.

You think I'll ever see him after this?

In 10 years, he's going to be a completely different person.

And so are you, champ.

Go in there. Go say hi.

There you go.

Make sure to support his head.

It's okay.

If Teddy hadn't left us for good, if he was still somewhere up there, 10 years later hovering above the city in the troposphere of the earth, he'd see a little part transformed.

He'd find Eliza in Brooklyn, starting her own family.

And his best friend, believe it or not, about to become a father himself.

He'd know that he had not been forgotten even if the outlines of his face grow fuzzier with each passing year.

Maybe he'd also see how fragile each and every life is.

And that they all just fall to earth and scatter hoping to settle somewhere and stick like big, dry snowflakes from a white Vermont sky.

Subtitle: sync, fix: titler