The Addiction (1995) Script

# I see your vision in the darkness every time I close my eyes

# I can feel the heat from your body

# Won't let me sleep at night

# I hear your whispers through my screams

# You're the glitter in my flames

# You're my desert

# I can't face the new day, baby

# Until I receive your kiss

# Sunlight becomes my enemy

# Don't want my friends to see me like this

# I need you more and more

# You're the sickness and the cure

# You're my addiction

# Yes, you are

# It's the loneliness that keeps you coming back again and again

# Oh, the habit you know is killing you

# It becomes your only friend

# But you make me feel more alive than I've ever been

# You're my sanctuary # You're my sanctuary

# Baby, let me in

# You're my addiction

# Addiction

# You're the shelter from the storm

# You're my addiction

# When I know hope has gone

# You're the face without a name, baby

# You're the bullet... #

‘It began in the early morning.

‘The American soldiers were under orders to search and destroy enemy positions.

‘They came upon the village at dawn.

‘What they did in that place later shocked the world.

‘The administration, sensitive to world opinion, ‘brought to trial the men responsible and found them guilty.

‘Justice, though blind, was served.

‘The conscience of an outraged society was temporarily satisfied.'

It's the whole country. They were all guilty.

How can you single out one man?

Well, you can't jail a whole country, you know. They needed a scapegoat.

He was the unlucky one who got caught.

No, I don't think luck had anything to do with it.

I mean, how did he get over there? Who put the gun in his hand?

They say that he was guilty of killing women and babies.

How many bombs were dropped that did the exact Same thing?

How many homes were destroyed? Who's in jail for that?

What do you want me to say? The system's not perfect, you know.

People just wanted to show their disgust at what was happening.

And justifiably so, I mean...

I'm not saying it wasn't justifiable.

I'm only saying that if you're gonna prosecute war crimes, you'd better make sure that more than one man takes the blame for everything.

It's ridiculous.

So, what are you... Where are you going?

Uh... I got to meet my brother.

Okay, I'm gonna go this way. Alright. See you.

# So high

# I wanna get high

# So high

# I wanna get high

# So high

# I wanna get high

# So high

# Well, that's the funk elastic The blunt I twist it

# The slammified, Buddhafied funk on your discus

# Oh, what, you missed this? You got to bear witness

# Catch a ho and another ho Merry Christmas

# Yes, I smoke shit straight off the roach clip

# I roach it, roll the blunt at once to approach it

# Forward motion Make you sway like the ocean

# The herb is more than just a powerful potion

# What's the commotion? Yo, I'm not joking around

# People learning ‘bout what they're smoking

# My oven's on high when I roast the quail

# Tell Bill Clinton to go and inhale

# Exhale, now you felt the phunk of the Thai

# When I feel the effects, I wanna get high... #

Nice night.

Look at me and tell me... to go away.

Don't ask. Tell me.


Oh, please don't hurt...

You think that's gonna stop me?

No. Please.


Want to know what's gonna happen? Just wait and See.

Okay, lady, we'll get a description of the perp out to the sector guys in the area.

You see her again on the street, just call 911.

If we happen to pick her up, you're gonna have to come into the station house to view a line-up.

That's it? You're lucky she didn't cut your throat.

‘Paging Dr. Simpson.'

Oh, my God.


Oh, fuck!


One aspect of determinism is manifested in the fact that the unsaved don't recognize the sin in their lives.

They're unconscious of it.

They don't suffer pangs of conscience because they don't recognize evil exists.

This is because they're all predestined to hell and therefore never brought to the light of metanoia, or conversion, which is a work of grace only in a believer's life, so when considering the salvatory aspect of facing guilt, suffering is a good thing.

We should all hope to feel guilty, to feel pain, so we can seek pardon and ultimately freedom.

Guilt is a sign that God is working out your destiny and it's a foolish person who refuses to acknowledge this.

Now in the text of the institutions, if you look on page 36...


If we look on page 36...

‘Dr Moreiro. Dr Moreiro, please.

Hi, Kathy. I'm your attending physician.

How do you feel?

Well, the tests so far do not indicate anything serious, and the, uh... wound shows absolutely no infection.

The AIDS Virus couldn't manifest itself so quickly, if you're curious about that.

What we really think is going on is that you probably have some chronic anemia which has been exacerbated by this traumatic event.

We're just gonna keep you here for a few days.

Build you up with fluids and iron.

You should be on your way in no time.

Any questions?

And if you need help in the meantime, just ring for the nurse, okay?

— Hi. — Oh, hi.

Where have you been?

In the infirmary. I haven't been feeling well.

Oof! You're not kidding. You don't look so good.

Mm. Did they give you something for it?

Medicine's just an extended metaphor for omnipotence.

They gave me antibiotics. I hope you're taking ‘em.

Yeah, of course.

What are you looking at? I don't know.

I didn't mean to Stare.

You alright?


Did you read the assignment for the Cassidy Seminar?

Yeah, I did. You get through it?

They're all liars. Let ‘em rot with cancer.

We'll see what they have to say about free will.

How can you eat and read that stuff at the Same time?

What is with you?

Ever question the sanity of bothering to do a dissertation on these idiots?

Well, it's either this or an E.D.D. It's our only other option.

Have you seen the exhibit? Uh-uh.

You wanna go? Yeah, I'll meet you after class.


‘This is what the Germans did. Let there be no mistake about it.

‘Did deliberately and slowly, ‘to doctors, authors, lawyers, musicians, ‘to professional people of every kind...

‘I know clearly one half of the truth

‘and that is one half more than they recognize.

‘The old adage from Santayana, ‘that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, ‘is a lie.

‘There is no history. Everything we are is eternally with us.

‘Our question is, therefore, what can save us from our crazy insistence

‘of spreading the blight in ever-widening circles?

"'Being and Nothingness", "Being and Time."'

"Ideas", "Sickness unto Death." Kierkegaard.

"Will to Power". Nietzsche.

For next week, I want you to finish the first 120 pages of Sartre's "Being And Nothingness".

Are there any questions?

Okay, class dismissed.

I heard you weren't feeling well. Are you alright now?

Yes, thanks.

Do you still want to meet at seven? Yes.

You can bring whatever you've done so far.


And maybe we can grab something to eat while we're at it.

That's fine.

You sure you're up to it? Yeah.

‘It makes no difference what I do, whether I draw blood or not.

‘It's the violence of my will against theirs.

Is there something wrong?

You haven't said a word all night long.

Silence has two aspects, one according to Sartre, the other to Max Picard.

Why don't you guess why I'm quiet? To amuse you?

What is it? Did I say something to upset you?

You're too egotistical, Professor.

True, but what is it? What's wrong?

Look, it's getting late. Uh... we ought to get to work.

Some things are more important than others.

Besides, aren't you the one who eschews speculative philosophy?

I've come to terms with my existence, applying what I've learned to my own being.

We'll get to the thesis in good time.

Such sad music, isn't it?

Oh, it's making me depressed.

Let's go.


I think I'd better go home. I don't.

Please. Come on in. Come on in.

It hasn't been the most enjoyable evening, you know.

Shh, come on.

So, do you want something to drink?

What do you got? Anything you want.

Hold on a minute. I got something.

Dependency is a marvelous thing.

It does more for the soul than any formulation of doctoral material.

Indulge me.

Give me your arm.

# They tried to poison the fetus

# We gonna check it out like this

# Aah! # All hell

# The high exalted

# Yo, my motherfucking name is Fredro Starr, know what I'm saying?

# I'm up here with my man Sonee the money, the motherfucking greasiest

# Get a life

# And my motherfucking nigga Sticky the fucking fingaz

# Get a life! # You know what I'm saying?

— # Yo Sonee # Get a life

# Step to your motherfucking business, nigga, word up

# I'm not the type to be flabbergasted but all my doubters mastered

# It ain't a matter bastard rule my hazard Niggaz get blasted

# Soon as I bring what I got in store for the new order

# Who want it? We got what you're looking for...

I need some money and pussy, know what I'm saying?

That bitch ain't worth shit. None of you bitches are worth shit.

I'm trying to fuck anything tonight.

What's up, girlfriend? Where you going, girlfriend? What's your name?

What's your name?

My name is Black. Know what I'm saying?

You into jungle fever or what? Huh?

I tell you, I'll be seeing you, alright? Alright.

I'll be Seeing you. Alright.

I'll be out here a lot, you know what I'm saying?

# You have the right to remain violent

# Anything you say can and will be used against you to kill

# I'm a tyrant striking like a Viking... #

‘Oh, the stench here's worse than a charnel house.

‘This is a graveyard. Rows of crumbling tombstones.

‘Vicious, libelous epitaphs.

‘And we're all drawn here like flies.

How's it going? Oh, take a look.

Yeah, me too.

What's your major? Anthropology.

Do you like it? What else is there?

Man is the measure of all things.



What are you studying?

Adversity's sweet milk, philosophy.

Are you ever afraid to walk these streets?

Yeah, always. But what choice do we have?

It's that or go to college in South Dakota.

Hm. Or not go at all. That's a choice.

Hm, not one that would make me happy.

I like it here, you know?

Do you live in the dorms? Yeah. You?

My own apartment. Oh.

You want to come over?

I'm going straight through till morning. We can have some coffee.


Wanna talk more about Feuerbach? Sure. I'll come over.

‘Well, as I said before, the Muslims killed 1,250 people.

‘The Muslims hold the high ground on both sides...

‘Why don't you explain what's going on?

‘Gary, it's a little village that stretches from the Drina River.

‘It has a river running through it, ‘a little smaller river, ‘and it goes all the way back to a dam.

‘And this valley is the...

'...this valley...

'...has hills on both sides...

‘The Muslims hold the high ground.

'...halfway demolished by the war, ‘then they go around and they try to identify every one of the bodies.

‘That's all they're doing here is identifying the bodies.

‘I was not able... obviously I couldn't believe the extent...

What the hell were you thinking?

Why didn't you just tell me to go?

Why didn't you say get lost, like you really meant it?

I was afraid you'd hurt me.

Worse than I've done? I don't even know what you've done.

I don't even know what the hell this is.

Am I gonna get sick now?


No worse than you were before.

What is that supposed to mean?

How can you act so glibly?

Look what you've done to me!

How could you do this?

Doesn't this affect you at all?


It was your decision.

Your friend Feuerbach wrote that all men counting Stars are equivalent in every way to God.

My indifference is not the concern here.

It's your astonishment that needs studying.

Where were you? I was Calling you all last night.

Uh... in the library.

Oh. Maybe you should slow down, Kathleen.

I don't know if you've seen what you look like lately, but...

I never felt better in my whole life.

I'm beginning to think maybe I should be worrying about you.

Oh, man.

Oh, fuck.

Kathy? Man...

You alright? Yeah, yeah.

I just... I just remembered that I forgot something upstairs, okay?

So, I'll, uh... I'll see you later.

I'll call you or something. I'll wait here for you.

Don't worry about it. It's...

It's gonna take me some time. I'll see you, okay?


Look at this big girl here. Big girl, huh?

Alright? Alright?

Shorty, what's up? We on tonight, huh?

I'm gonna take you some place.

— Hey, I'm off, man. Booty call, man. Alright.

Fuck you doing? Chill, shorty. Chill, shorty.

Tell me to leave you alone. Fuck!

Why don't you tell me to leave you alone?

Why don't you tell me to leave you alone?

Get the fuck off me, bitch!

Why don't you tell me to leave you alone, huh? Huh?

Tell me to go and I will leave you alone.


Tell me to go. Tell me to leave you alone.

# Fuck dat, ya better off dead

# Fuck dat, ya better off dead

# Cover me, I'm going in Move ‘em in, take ‘em out

# The time when niggaz seem to always fight a lost battle

# It's too late to pray I'm selling one-way tickets to hell... #

Who is it? Delivery.

Miss Conklin? Yeah.


# I want to get high

# So high

# I want to get high

# So high

# I want to get high

# So high

# I want to get high

# So high

# Well, that's the funk elastic The blunt I twist it

# The slammified, Buddhafied, funk on your discus

# Oh, what, you missed this? You got to bear witness

# Catch a ho and another ho Merry Christmas

# Yes, I smoke shit straight off the roach clip

# I roach it, fold the blunt at once to approach it

# Forward motion Make you sway like the ocean

# The herb is more than just a powerful potion

# What's the commotion? Yo, I'm not joking around

# People learning ‘bout what they're smoking

# My oven's on high when I roast the quail

# Tell Bill Clinton to go and inhale

# Exhale, now you felt the phunk of the Thai

# When I feel the effects I want to get high... #

Oh, Jesus. Come on.

I need to talk to you, Jean.

Well, you're welcome for the flowers. Come on.

Come on, I want to talk to you, okay?

Alright. Please. Let's talk.

I met a guy. He's a vet. I spent a couple nights with him.

Since when do you smoke?

You know what he does all day? He kills cows.

He works in the slaughterhouse in blood up to his ankles.

I asked him how come.

He says a career after four years of preparation at Princeton couldn't compete with what they taught him in Southeast Asia.

At night, he just rides around in his meat truck.

He picks up hitchhikers. Takes them wherever they want to go.

You're halfway through your dissertation.

You don't go to class, you don't study, you don't conference.

I don't know what the hell you're doing.

Every philosopher had a predecessor, without whom his System of philosophy could have never developed.

The Same could be said for all of us, but you See, it's all failed, because our predecessor doesn't have a name.

Our predecessor to what? I don't know what you're talking about.

Guilt doesn't pass with time, Jean. It's eternal.


The appetite's insatiable. That's what I've learned in the last couple of weeks.

You're not gonna try to deny that, are you?

At least show me you've learned that much.

Show you what? You want an apology for ethical relativism or something?

No. Prove there's no evil and you can go.

What do you mean, I can go?

The mirrors in my house, I had to cover them up. Why do you think that is?

What is it in my face that I don't want to look at?

Kathy, you're Starting to scare me now, you know that?

See, it's these eyes. It's the eyes.

Eventually, everyone does the Same.

Kathy, you want my advice? You should get to the infirmary.

You think hell shuts down after a couple of years?

You think what you've done isn't floating around somewhere in space?

What makes you think you've been forgiven for lying to your mother as a child, huh?

Or for having slept with married men in adultery, or paying taxes that turn Central America into a mud puddle, huh?

Well, I... — Come here.

I wanna take you to the girls‘ room, alright? Come here.

I wanna show you something. Come here. What are you afraid of?

You wanna see something?

No. Jesus.

I'm rotting inside.

But I'm not dying.

I could go on like this forever.


No, come on. We're all called in for the debt.

Most of us go for plastic surgery to hide the blemishes.

But you can't out where the disease originates.

I don't even know who I'm talking to. Kathy, you gotta get some help.

You know, this obtuseness, it's disheartening, especially in a doctoral candidate. You ought to know better.

I... I ought to know what better? You're acting like a lunatic!

Sure, it's easy to spot in people like me. The Cancer's grown obvious.

But you're as terminal as I am. You know that?

You're as addicted as I am. It's the nature of the organism.

Is that what this is about?

Yeah, that's it.

Now look me in the face.

Tell me to go.

Look sin in the face and tell it to go.



That's what it does to you. Ow.

You look me in the face and you tell me to go.

You're hurting me. Are you kidding me?

I'll crush you like cardboard. Kathy, what do you want from me?

Look me in the face. Tell me to go, like you mean it.

Kathy, please. Say it with authority now.

Let go! Say it with authority.

Let go!

How you gonna see yourself after tonight?

Please stop it.

Please stop it. Please let go of me, Kathy.


I know, but you can't really be that way with people, because if you say that to me then I can't do anything but take it badly.

Of course, of course.

But I'm not even enjoying reading the proofs.

Even if it gets published, I hate it.

It's all wrong, man. It's all wrong.

And then to bump into...


Why don't you just tell me to leave you alone?

Like you mean it?


You want to go someplace dark?

Hm. Your breath smells like shit. You know that?

You know how long I've been fasting? 40 years.

The last time I shot up, I had a dozen and a half in one night.

They fall like flies before the hunger, don't they?

You can never get enough, can you?

But you learn to control it. You learn like the Tibetans to survive on a little.


So, what you been doing, then? What do you have inside?

Any kids?

A lot of... Any children?

The first one's the hardest, isn't it? After that, they're like all the rest.

Well... here we are.

Come in.

The entire world's a graveyard, and we the birds of prey picking at the bones, that's all we are.

We're the ones who let the dying know the hour has come.



You think Nietzsche understood something?

Mankind has striven to exist beyond good and evil.

From the beginning.

You know what they found?


You want tea? No.

Maybe later, huh?

How can you drink it? A lot of people drink tea.

I mean people like us. I'm not like you. You're nothing.

That's something you ought not to forget. You're not a person.

You're nothing.

Have you read "Naked Lunch"?

Burroughs perfectly describes what it's like to go without a fix.

Who are you?

My name's Peina.

What do you want from me? No. What do you want from me?

You came after me, you took my hand, you tried to force me into some alley.

Isn't that how it went? You think you understand things.

You know nothing. You understand nothing!

I'll show you what you are.

Teach you what hunger is.

You thought the first time was difficult?


It's a long time till sunrise.

You can't eat. You can't sleep.

You can't even go out to satisfy the urge during the day.

You're a slave to what you are and you're nothing.

I defecate. When's the last time you did that?

I'm almost human. I eat, I sleep, I have a job.

I can diet. It took a long time.

You think you know what we are.

The point is to blend in, not to stand out like a sore thumb.

It's... it's quality of existence.

My habit is controlled by my will.

True, my will initially formed by my addiction, but now strong enough to dictate the conditions of fulfilling my needs.

Is that abstract?

Whatever good is in you, I will use for my sustenance, and for you it'll feel as though you haven't eaten in weeks.

Demons suffer in hell.


You can't kill what's dead.

Oh...! What?

Eternity's a long time. Get used to it.

Please help... help me.

What are you worried about? You're not gonna die.


Pain's something else, pain is something we all know, but it takes a special person to see pain.

Something about it.

Please help me. I'm not that person. Believe me.

What... what's gonna happen to me?

Read the books, Sartre, Beckett.

Who do you think they're talking about? You think they're works of fiction?

"I felt the wind of the wings of madness." Baudelaire.

I'll be back late.

But what...?

And be honest. You were not trying to end it all just now.

You were just trying to see if I had left you anything you could eat, anything for a fix.

Please, help.


Please. Please.

Come on! Please!

Help me. Please.



Hey, lady.

You alright?

You Okay?

Come on. Let me get you off the street. You alright, huh?

Come on. I'll help you. Come on.

I'm so... Let me get you up.

Come on. The St Francis is right over here...

What are you doing?

‘I finally understand what all this is.

‘How it was all possible.

‘Now I see. Good Lord, how we must look from out there.

‘Our addiction is evil.

‘The propensity for this evil lies in our weakness before it.

‘Kierkegaard was right. There is an awful precipice before us.

‘But he was wrong about the leap.

‘There's a difference between jumping and being pushed.

‘You reach a point where you are forced to face your own needs, ‘and the fact you can't terminate the situation settles on you with full force.

‘It's not "cogito ergo sum", ‘but “dedita ergo sum, pecco ergo sum“ .

‘In the intrusion of values...

Philosophy is propaganda.

There is always an attempt to influence the object, to change its view of things.

The real question is what is the philosopher's impact on other egos, transcendent or otherwise.

Does that lie within the grammar of your thesis?

If we eliminate the verb, we eliminate meaning.

The predicate defines the noun's role in being.

That's why my analysis insisted on a discernible didacticism in the works of the philosopher.

It belies his transcendence, his independence.

And the result?

Essence is revealed through praxis.

The philosopher’s words, his ideas, his actions, cannot be separated from his value, his meaning.

That's what it's all about, isn't it?

Our impact on other egos.

So it's where I got my primary degree.

Oh, right. That's so interesting.

Dean? What? Oh, congratulations.

Thank you. Doctor. All the best.

I'd like to invite you, faculty and friends, to a small get-together I'm having after the reception.

Okay, I will be honored. Yes?

And I will be there. You can bet it. Please be there.

I will. Thank you.

Nine? Mm-hm.

Okay- Okay-

I'll see you there.

‘There's a dual nature to the addiction.

‘It satisfies the hunger which evil engenders.

‘But it also dulls our perception

‘so we are helped to forget how ill we really are.

‘We drink to escape the fact we're alcoholics.

‘Existence is the search for relief from our habit, ‘and our habit is the only relief we can find.

Good evening, sister. How are you today?

Hear the good news. God loves you.

God loves you.

Hear the word of God, brother. We give free lunches at our center every day.

It's on 35th Street. The address is there.

God loves you.

Please come inside. No, I can't. Thank you.


I can't. I... I appreciate the offer. Maybe another time.

God bless you.

Hear the word of God, the good news.

God loves you, brother.

Like him? Why?

Why not? Huh? And fucking why not?

No! I will not! I...

I will not submit. I will not!

I will not submit!

No! No!

No! God!

No! No!

No. No!

I will not!

No, I will not.

I will not. I will not.

I will not submit.

I will not!

If you don't like this, there's stuff on the floor over there.

Have you seen Kathy? Not all night.



You get me a woman. You make sure I fit into her things. Now!

Hi. How are you? Um... Hi.


Yeah, okay, great. Thanks.



Everybody, I would like to thank you all for coming here tonight to help me celebrate the conferral of my degree.

I would like to acknowledge a sincere debt of gratitude to the faculty and to the school.


And I'd like to share a little bit of what I've learned through these long hard years of study.

Yeah, alright! Whoo!

To the doctor! The doctor!

Hey. Come on.


Glass of water...

Somebody call 911.

Anybody call 911? Oh, God. Oh. God.

Try to get some rest.

You're gonna be alright.


Let me... die. Please.

No, nobody's gonna let you die.

# Pick it up, one, two, three

# One, two, three, one, two, three

# Pick it up, one, two, three

# My dear lady...

Would you please go and find somebody to stop the racket?

# One, two, three, one, two, three

# Pick it up, one, two, three

# My dear lady... #


The blinds. The blinds?

Oh, you want me to open them? Are you sure?


The seventh circle, huh?

Dante described it perfectly.

Bleeding trees waiting for judgment day, when we can all hang ourselves from our own branches.

It's not that easy.


To find rest... takes a real genius.

It's all a matter of discernment.

Now, R.C. Sproul said we're not sinners because we sin, but we sin because we are sinners.

In more accessible terms...

...we're not evil because of the evil we do...

...but we do evil because we are evil.


And what choices do such people have?

It's not like we have any options.

Morning, Doctor. How are you? Nice to see you.

I haven't seen you lately. How have you been? Okay?

Good to see you, right, right.

Good morning.

How do you feel?

Can I get you something?

I want... to make a confession.

Are you a Catholic?

I was... was baptized.

What would you like to confess?


...forgive me.

Almighty God, have mercy on you.

Forgive you all your sins through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Strengthen you in all goodness, and by the power of the Holy Spirit keep you in eternal life.

The body of Christ.


‘To face what we are in the end, ‘we stand before the light, and our true nature is revealed.

‘Self-revelation is annihilation of self.

# You thought you had another nigga going on the run but here I come

# Standing on the corner smoking cheebas

# With my niggas with their cellulars and fevers

# Selling dope, I cracked another coke

# And niggas pulled up in a black superstroke

# They jumped up and said nigger was to gain

# I stepped to the bar Said Schooly D's the name

# I reached for my shit only when I has to

# But damn, the nigga was just a bit faster

# Gripped on the stick He stuck it in my gut

# Last thing that I heard was the but, but, but

# Last thing that I saw was the smoke from the trigger

# Going to the grave being just another nigga

# No, because I'm just too damn evil

# I'm on another level I'm just like a black devil

# So when you come to kill me bring your whole army

# ‘Cause when you're bullshittin', you're never gonna hold me

# Rising from the gutter just like a black noose

# Baby, shh, niggas, can't you hear?

# Damn, I'm gonna be here for ever, ever

# Gonna be the S.C.H.O.O.L.Y.D

# Niggas, can't you see?

# Damn

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time

# Forever is a long time... #