The Adventures of Huck Finn (1993) Script

My name's Huck... Huck Finn, and this story's about me and a slave named Jim.

It's mainly the truth. Oh, sure, there's a few stretchers here and there, but I never met anybody who didn't lie a little when the situation suited him.

So kick off your shoes, if you're wearin' 'em, and get ready for a spit-lickin'good time.

Come on, Finn!

Hit me! Come on!

Come on, Finn! Come on!

Come on, Finn! Come on! Let's go!

Hit me! Hit me! Come on!

Hit me! Afraid of me? That all you got?

Come on...

Knock him into Tuesday, Huck!

Ahhh! Ahhh! Oooh!

Ahhhhhh!

Go for the glory, Huck! Yeah, go for the glory!

Personally I can't see no glory in punching an ignorant lard ass.

But... I gots to.

Pap. Come on! What're you doin', Huck?

I whooped him! I whooped him good!

Hey, Louise! Is Jim home? Hello, Huckleberry.

Hey. Thanks. My husband's in the cabin.

Ohhh! I'm startin'to lose the vision. I'm startin'to lose...

It's goin' and it's goin'!

Ahhh, now it's comin' back. It's comin' back now.

Aaah! Hey, everybody.

Hey, Sam. Hey, Otis.

Hey, Huck.

Sorry for bustin' in, Jim. That's all right.

But I need some advice on my futures. What kinda advice you need?

Pap's back.

Are you sure? 'Cause he ain't been seen for more than a year now.

I saw his boot print, the cross made with nails.

To ward off the devil. Yeah, that's your pap, all right.

I need to know what he's gonna do and how long he's gonna stay. - Now hold on.

I ain't never done this for no white folks before.

I-I-I don't even know if it's gonna work.

Give you some marbles.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try.

Thanks, Jim.

What in hell's bells is that? Hair ball... from a ox!

Puked it up just the other day.

That'll tell me my future? Shhh!

Spirit lives on the inside of it.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Ya don't say?

No! Not to my good friend Mr. Finn here!

No!

Your old Pap got two spirits hoverin' around him.

A sweet one with wings and a mean one with horns.

Sometime he listen to the good one, and sometime he listen to the bad one.

The good spirit tell 'im to leave you alone, but the bad one tells him to come and get ya!

Now, the hair ball don't know... which spirit gonna be the most convincin'.

It says that your future... is driftin' like... the river.

When your Pap's around... he always beatin' on you, ain't he?

Yeah... when he can catch me.

Well, the hair ball thinks that maybe you ought to skedaddle for a while.

At least until after your Pap goes away again.

Come tomorrow morning, they'll be talkin' about me in the past tense.

Jim was owned by Miss Watson, and about a year ago...

Miss Watson and her sister, the Widow Douglas, took me in.

They wanted to civilize me, which most people thought was a right nice idea.

But seein'as how I'm so ignorant and kinda low-down and ornery...

Huckleberry! You come in here! it wasn't workin'out real well. You missed dinner.

You'll go to bed hungry. So if ya starve to death by mornin'... we'll lay your carcass out for the birds to eat. - Oh, my land!

What happened to your eye? How'd ya get that shiner?

I saw a blind man walkin'down the street... when all of a sudden a gang of thieves jumped out and grabbed him.

Well, I tried to stop 'em, but bein'so little and all, they just walloped me in the eye and ran off.

That the same gang of thieves who stole your school books last week?

Yep, same gang.

You told us you whopped 'em so bad they was never comin' back!

I-I did. But this time they brung reinforcements.

Hey, where is your fancy school clothes, Huckleberry! What are these rags?

You played hooky, didn't ya?

No, ma'am. I went to school.

And on my way home, I ran into a poor mother with her ten poor children.

Last week that poor mother only had eight children.

Well, now she's got two more. Uh-huh.

Anyways, I gave 'em my fancy clothes to help 'em stay warm. - Hmm!

You sweet child!

I knew we could change him. I just knew it.

Why, he's downright chivalrous. Why, he's downright nauseous.

And for being so chivalrous, I'm going to clean you up and dress you up... and give you something to eat before evening prayers.


Meow!

Meow.

Shhh! Come on down, Huck.

Aw, hell.

I should've known better.

I should've finished packing and ran away right then. But no, I had to go sneak out and play with my friends one last time.

Little did I know... that that one mistake was gonna change my life forever.

Goin' somewhere? Maybe I am, and maybe I ain't.

Don't you give me none of your lip!

I don't wanna wake anybody up just yet.

But you move, and I'll wail ya good.

Well, looks like you put on considerable many frills since I've been away.

I hear ya can read and write.

Who told you to meddle in such highfalutin foolishness anyhow?

The widow told me.

I'll wail you good for meddlin' in something like that!

Pretty soon you'll be taking up religion like your ma did.

Would you leave Ma out of this? She's dead and you better...

Don't you sass me, or you'll be joinin' her!

Well, ain't you the sweet-scented dandy!

With your polished clothes and your nice bed.

I never seen such a son as you!

Well, I'm not gonna stand for it.

Leave me alone! Let me go! You're comin' with me!

Let me go! Oh!

No!

Let me go! Let me go! Pap Finn, you devil in disguise!

Outta my way, you old maid! This here is what's mine, and I'm takin' it!

Put that sweet boy down! Ohh! Leave them alone! Leave them alone!

Say good-bye, boy, 'cause you ain't never gonna see... these two old biddies again.


I knew I was in trouble, and it were only gonna get worse... once Pap started drinkin'.

I was up the river with some acquaintances of mine, and we were doin'some... jobs, and I got the news.

So when I found out your ma left you $600, I figured I'd come and get my due.

I mean, don't I deserve it... after all the trouble and expense I went through to raise you proper?

But no.

judge Thatcher says that money's gotta stay in the bank 'til you get yourself to legal age!

Legal age. I can't be waitin'that long!

What'd I do with that bottle?

But I'm...

I'm your next of kin.

And you're my little angel.

I-I ain't no angel, Pap. You can ask Miss Watson.

Aaah!

Damn it!

No, Pap! No!

No! No!

No, Pap!

Yes! Pap!


What're you doin' with my gun?

Uh... I thought I heard somebody tryin' to break in, and I was waitin'for 'em, Pap! Well, why didn't ya rouse me?

I tried, but I couldn't.

Hey, what're you doin' here anyway?

You brought me here, Pap.

Did I? Why?

'Cause you said you missed me so. Don't you lie to me.

That couldn't be the reason.

Oh, yeah, that money your ma left you. Damned Judge Thatcher!

Have to think of another way. Look at this place.

What'd you do to my house? I didn't do anything, Pap.

I'm goin' to town. You clean up around here.

Yes, Pap.

Mmmm. "Yes, Pap."

Little runt.

I knew if I stuck around I'd be dead.

But dead was the only way Pap would ever leave me alone.

Wild boars are mighty good eatin'. And this one were gonna save my life as well.


What the...

Now that I was dead, I could do what I wanted... and go where I wanted, and neither Pap nor Miss Watson would ever try and follow me.

And right now, I figured I'd go to Jackson's Island.

No one lives there nor hardly visits, and the fishin's awful good too.


Aaah! Aaah!

Huck? - Hell's bells, Jim! I almost puked up my livers.

I thought you was dead. I ain't dead.

But your Pap came into town this mornin'... screamin' about how some robbers had cut you into a million pieces.

Faked it all, Jim. I'm as alive as you.

Nope. You ain't dead. Funny, Jim!

Your Pap look like he done seen the devil himself. - Scared him, did I?

Scared him? You scared the whole town. They's out huntin' down your murderer right now.

That's mighty nice of'em. - The widow wants you to have a proper burial, so she got all the womenfolk fleecin' the woods lookin' for your carcass.

Wish 'em luck, Jim. They ain't gonna find my remainders. - No, they're not.

You know, I kinda like bein' dead.

Come on!

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Say, Jim! Shouldn't ya be gettin' back before Miss Watson misses ya?

Well, Huck...

You promise not to tell on me if I tell you somethin'?

Damned if I would, Jim.

Honest Injun.

Well, I believe you, so I'm gonna tell you.

This mornin' in all the confusion caused by your murder...

I ran off! -Jim!

You promised not to tell! I know I did! I know.

And my word's my word, and I'll keep my word.

But Jim... you're a runaway slave!

I could get tarred for not turnin' you in.

I could get lynched.

Why'd ya do it, Jim?

A slave trader come by the other day and offered Miss Watson $800 for me.

Her and the widow felt so bad they pert near cried.

But times is tough. It was just too much money to resist.

I couldn't let myself get sold all the way down New Orleans.

I'd never see my wife and my children again! - But Jim!

Now ya ain't never gonna get to see 'em.

My only chance is to go downriver to Cairo.

Go south? A runaway slave go south? I know, I know!

But I got me a canoe, Huck, and this.

A map to freedom. Now, here's me.

If I can get myself all the way down here to Cairo, where the Ohio River comes into the Mississippi, I can take it all the way up to the free states.

You know how hard that'd be, Jim? It's a million miles to Cairo!

And a slave on the river by himself?

Ya won't get five miles. I know.

But if I could do it, if I could...

I'd get the chance to earn money to buy my family.

Ah, hell!

We'll do it together.

I'll help you get to Cairo.

Aw, shut up, Jim!

Now, don't be long, and don't forget the eggs. - All right. All right.

And the flour. All right.

And the candles, matches, tobacco...

Hell's bells, Jim! Whatever ain't nailed down is what I'll get!

And don't let nobody recognize you.

Well, hello, ma'am. Hello, child. My lands!

What happened to your eye? A cow kicked me.

Gracious! Well, what can I do for you?

Well, I was comin' from Hookville to visit my cousin... when my horse went lame. Oh, dear me! Well, come in, come in.

My, that's a pretty bonnet!

A little girl across the lane has one just like it. - It's a popular style.

Well, it looks so much cuter on you. So, what's your name?

Sarah. Sarah Williams.

Well, she got to talking about this and about that... and blah-di-blah-di-blah until I wanted to wring her scrawny little neck.

So I decided to take advantage of the situation.

But by and by, she got to talking about the murder.

That's where my husband is right now, out with some of the other men trying to hunt up the murderer.

And when they find him, they's gonna shoot him.

That's good! 'Cause I heard Huck Finn was such a sweet boy.

That ain't what I heard.

So who do they think killed him?

At first, everyone figured that old Pap Finn done it himself.

Is that so? They almost lynched him, too.

But then he up and vanished with some of his rapscallion friends.

It ain't no matter. 'Cause now everyone judges that the man who murdered poor Huck Finn... were a runaway slave named Jim.

Jim!

Jim?

Missus, where's my jacket?

Howdy, little one. Hello, good sir.

What're you fetchin' off for? - I think we found that murderin' runaway slave.

Huh! - Now, we been lookin' everywhere, and some old codger just now... said that he saw smoke out on Jackson Island.

Ain't nobody lives there and hardly anyone visits, so it's gotta be him!

Hey, hey!

Now, you watch yourself there, little precious. - You be careful!

Oh, don't worry, I will. That slave is worth $400, dead or alive.

I best be goin' now.

Oh, not until you've had some vittles.

What was your name again? Mary... Williams.

I thought you said it was Sarah.

Yessim, I did. Sarah Mary Williams.

Somes calls me Sarah; somes calls me Mary.

My goodness!

You think you could hit that rat for me? Be happy to.

Got 'im! Good arm you got there.

Ohhh, I keep it in shape with lots of knittin'.

You is a boy! Oh, how you do tease a poor girl so.

You may fool some, but not me!

If you was a girl, you'd have missed that rat by six or seven feet.

Now fess up! Who is ya?

You fess up, you little thing! You tell me, who is ya? You tell me, who is ya?

Oh! Oh!

Come back here!

-Jim! Jim, wake up! Wake up! Huh?

Oh, man! - Look at you, Huck. If you ain't the prettiest...

They's after us, Jim, and there ain't a minute to lose. Come on!

Come on. Hurry up!

Come on, come on! Them dogs sound hungry! Then get a move on.

Hey!

We was off, headin'down the mighty Mississippi... on the journey to Cairo to set Jim free.

'Course, first we had to stop along the way and borrow a few things.

Say, Huck, I been feelin'... mighty guiltful 'bout all this borrowin' we've been doin'.

Ah, you'll get over it. That ain't the point.

That ain't who I think it is, is it?

It's you, all right, Jim.

" Four hundred dollar reward.

Runaway slave." And what's that say?

Uh... handsome and well-mannered.

Oh... Now come on, Huck, what's it really say?

Nothin'. Just that you're wanted for murder.

Murder! I...

Ohhh, I see.

I'm wanted for your murder.

Well, we best travel only at night.

Is that what I really look like?

'Fraid so, Jim. Damn!

Oh, did you see that? Let's go for it!

What if there's people on it? No way!

A body'd have to be crazy to be on that wreck! She's bound to break up any second.

Oh, fine! Then let's just get right aboard!

Looks like she ain't been here long.

Yeah. Might be some good loot around. Let's split up and see what she's got.

Hold on, hold on! Dead bodies is what she's got, so let's be careful.

Right!

I'll go this way. I'll go below.

Oh! Oh!

Please don't kill me, boys. Please don't kill me!

You're a lyin'thief, joe Turner, and now you're gonna pay for it with your life!

Wait, listen! You can keep my share, I won't tell nobody!

It's too late for that now!

Ohh! Ohh!

This thing's sinkin' quicker than we figured!

Yeah, let's get the booty and get outta here!

You can't just leave me here. You can't leave me! - You killed your own partner.

He deserved the bullet I gave him!

Uhhh!

Aaah!

Damn! One more like that and she's had it!

You can't just leave me here, boys. You can't just leave me!

Ah, shut up! Uhh!

Hey, get over here! Aaah!

Who are you? Nobody.

What're you doin' here? Nothin'.

Grab the silver!

Oh, my God! We're goin' down!

Aaah!

We best be goin',Jim! There's pirates on board! - I know, I know!

The canoe!

Damn!

They must have a boat on the other side! Come on! - Let's get it!

There it is!

Move it, move it!

Come on! Help me, Jim! I'm comin', I'm comin'!


I feel sort of bad for them murderers dyin'like that.

I might end up bein' murderer myself someday, and how would I like it, drownin'on some barge?

Huck? Yeah, Jim.

If you was to hear that your Pap wasn't ever gonna return to St. Petersburg, like, if he up and died or some such, would you still help me to get to Cairo and be free?

Or would you go on back home?

I'd go back, most likely, just to see the look on people's faces.

We'd both go back, Jim, bein' the right thing and all.

Yeah. Sure, bein' the right thing and all.

Don't you worry. I'll make sure Miss Watson takes you back.

Smell that, Huck? Smells like freedom.

If that's Cairo, I'm a free man!

And when I'm free, I'm gonna work hard... and save every penny and buy my wife and my children.

And if they won't sell 'em, I'll steal 'em!

You wouldn't.

Only if they won't sell 'em, Huck.

They're my wife and my children. It ain't right that they be bought and sold.

Someone gonna do it. Ought to be me.

Listen to yourself. Ya hear what you're sayin'?

Sellin' people and usin' 'em for slaves ain't right, Huck.

Somehow... - That's the way it is, and that's the way it's always been.

But it ain't right, Huck.

Don't ya see that to be true?

Slavery ain't right. All men should be free.

I've never heard such talk in my life.

Right then I knew what I was doin' was wicked.

And I could feel the hand of God about to take a swing at me.

Then suddenly I knew what I had to do. I had to turn Jim in.

Say, uh...Jim?

Yeah, Huck. All these towns lookin'the same, how're we gonna know which one's Cairo?

We'll see the Ohio River comin' in, won't we? - We might miss it.

I'll tell you what. Next time we see someone I'll grab a log, paddle ashore and ask 'em. - Don't worry, Huck. We'll see the Ohio River comin'in.

But we might miss it!

Best make sure.

Yeah.

Sure, Huck.

Find anything, boys? -Nothin' over here!

I know we're close, Huck. We're safe!

You really don't have to do this!

Cairo could be anywhere.

I'll be right back.

I'd come mighty close to helpin'set Jim free and goin'to hell for it.

But now I was gonna do what's right, and I was startin' to feel real good.

There he goes... true blue Huck Finn.

The only white gentleman ever kept his promise to old Jim.

Huck Finn, a man of his word.

A man who sticks by his friends come hell or high water.

I'm mighty proud to know him.

Ah, shut up, Jim.

Never forget ya, Huck.

Best friend I ever had.

I felt just sick, but I says to myself, "Self, you's got to tell on 'im. It's the only right thing to do. "

You boy! That a raft out there yonder? Yes, sir, it is.

Is it yours? Yes, sir.

Any men on it? just one, sir.

We're lookin'for five slaves that ran away last night.

The man on the raft, is he white or black?

He's white.

And maybe you're one of them abolitionist boys that likes to help runaway slaves?

I believe we'd better look for ourselves. Oh, I wish you would.

'Cause it's my Pap out there, and he's awful sick. And so is my mom, my sister, my brother...

You said there was one man on that raft.

I saw your guns and just got scared, I guess.

Need a tow over, if ya don't mind.

We do mind, boy. We're in a hurry.

Oh, come on, get on board. Thank ya.

People usually just run away when I tell 'em my whole family is sick as dogs.

What's wrong with 'em? Well... my sister's pukin' everywhere, my ma's smellin' real bad, my brother's skin's kinda rottin' off his body. - Oh!

Pa... Oh, it's disgusting!

Your whole family's got the pox, boy! You wanna spread it around?

But I've asked everybody, and nobody'll help me.

Downstream about 20 miles is another town. You go ask them!

Would that be Cairo? - No, Cairo ain't for another hundred miles.

Listen, boy!

Next time, don't tell people what ya got. Just lie your little face off. Now, get!

Uhhh! I can't believe you're not gonna help us.

The smell on that raft's just killin' me.

You see any runaway slaves, boy, you get some help and nab 'em. You can make some money.

You bet, sir. I won't let no runaway slaves get by me.

True blue Huck Finn.

It's always so damn troublesome doin'right and so damn easy doin' wrong.

But I decided from now on, I'm just gonna do whatever come handiest.

You mean French people don't talk the same as us? - Why, no, Jim.

You couldn't understand a single word they said.

Oh, I suppose you could. You suppose right.

I was taught some of their jabber out of books.

Oooh, you know some of their jabber, huh? Yeah, I do.

What would you think if a man came up to you and said, " Pallee-voo Franzee?"

I wouldn't think nothin'. I'd just bust him over the head.

He ain't sayin' nothin' bad! He just asked you if you talk French.

Well, why didn't he just say it? He did just say it.

No, he didn't! He said, " Pallee-voo Francine!"

Well, that's a Frenchman's way of askin' if you talk French.

It's a stupid way of askin' it!

It ain't stupid! Well, it is! It's ridiculous!

It ain't ridiculous. We just talk different.

Lookit here, Jim! Does a cat talk like we do? - No, a cat don't.

Does a cow? No, a cow don't neither.

Does a cat talk like a cow or a cow like a cat?

All right, all right. No, they don't. They talk different.

Right! And French people talk different than us! Ya see?

I rest my case!

All right, Mr. Finn.

Is a cow a cat? No.

Is a cat a cow? No.

Is a cow a man? No, Jim.

Is a cat a man? No.

Is a Frenchman a man? Yeah.

Then we don't he talk like a man?

Poke.

You see? I rest my case.

You know... you've got a point there, Jim.

And the point is... just because you're taught somethin's right, and everybody believes it's right, it don't make it right.

You get my meaning?

Yeah, I do.

-Jim! Let's get! Huh!

Jump, Huck! Jump!

-Jump! Aaah!


-Jim! Jim! Jim! Jim!

-Jim! -Jim!

Jim.

Make a move, and I'll blast you in half!

That's far enough now. See if there's anybody else out there.

Why, Pa! He's no Shepherdson!

Hush, Sophie. No, he isn't. Put those guns down!

There's nothin' Shepherdson about him at all.

Look at that face. Well, then, what is your name, son?

I-I-It's George Jackson, sir.

You see! - Put your hand down. - Hey, what's goin' on?

Here, let me dry you off. Ain't there no Shepherdsons around?

You know, we might've been shot, you bein' so slow in comin', Billy.

Where did you come from, George?

I fell off a steamboat, sir.

Whoa, fell off a steamboat! Oh, you poor boy! Falls off a steamboat, and then you go and scare him to death!

They was real nice once they decided not to kill me.

They told me they was the Grangerfords, and asked me a million questions.

I decided it'd be best to leave out the truth, so I slung 'em a story.

And after my pa got killed in that stampede, my ma ran off with a circus clown.

Never saw her again.

Well, you can stay here with us. As long as you like.

Thanks.

You see what I'm talkin' about?

Hey, George! Here's a present for bein'my new friend.

This is the nicest thing anybody's ever given me.

Thanks, Billy. Billy!

Everything's been real quiet between the Shepherdsons and us lately, so don't you go stirring things up.

Oh, Sophie, leave me alone. Come on, George.

Say, Billy, let's slide on down to the river.

I wanna see if any of my... belongings washed up on shore.

Well, first we gotta take care of something.

Seems a lot of things have been washing up lately.

A steamer hit his raft last night and killed his master.

So he's ours. We had to chain him.

Hey! Get up! Come on, get up!

Looks a little rough. Me and you gotta break him in a little bit.

Huck! So good to see you. Huck? Who you callin' Huck?

Why, my name's... Bet ya can't spell my name?

I'll bet ya that dare. It's G-O-R-G J-X-O-N.

You done it, all right. I'm George Jackson.

Pleased to meet ya, sir.

Say, Billy... why is everybody carryin' all them guns and lookin' so itchy to use 'em?

Well, we got us a feud goin' on.

Feud! What's a feud?

You don't know what a feud is?

It's like this. A man has a fight with another man and kills him.

Then his brother kills him. Goes on and on with everybody's brother... tryin'to kill everybody else's brother, until everybody's killed off.

Our feud's been goin' on for 30 years.

30 years! Well, how'd it start?

I don't know. - You mean, you don't know why y'all killin' each other?

Yes, sir! Yes, sir!

Hey, Boggs! You know Pa don't want you doin' that any more.

Get to work now. Come on! Yes, master.

Your child got three days work before he can move on.

Hello, boys. Hey, Pop.

Huck!

On that river, I had a taste of freedom.

And now bein' a slave again... Well, it feels so... so very bad.

Let's get on to Cairo, Huck. Please.

Let's get on outta here. All you think about is yourself, Jim.

Well, what about me? Don't I deserve somethin'?

I ain't had it so good in all my life.

Come on, George, we're goin' fishin'!

And I ain't in no hurry to leave.

Hey, Boggs, this one's all yours.

All right, come on, get down outta there.

Come on, over here.

Now, my daddy was fishin' on that other bank, not payin' any attention to all the rain.

And all of a sudden the bank gave way, and into the river he went.

Yeah, that's my boy.

All you think about is yourself, Jim. Well, what about me?


Come on, George, it's supper time!

I'll be right there.

Jim!


Jim.

It weren't my fault.

If you think I feel bad, well, you're wrong!

If you think I'm gonna apologize to a slave, a runaway slave at that, well, hah.

I didn't mean for this to happen, Jim.

It were the worst thing I ever done in my life.

I'm real sorry, Jim.

Honest, I am.

You're still my best and only friend.

Huck Finn.

Okay, all right. Enough of this slop.

-Jim? Hmm?

'Bout time for us to be leavin'.

Huck? Shut up, Jim.

Sorry I'm late.

Cyrus! What's goin' on?

Miss Sophie went off to marry a Shepherdson.

Well, where'd everybody go? The women went to raise the relations.

Billy and the menfolk, they gonna try and kill that Shepherdson boy... before he crosses the river with Miss Sophie.

Thanks.

Lots of people gonna die today.

They're right up ahead, boy!


Oh, let's go!

Hey, Billy! Hey, Billy.

I-It's me, it's me! Huck... I mean, George! What's goin' on?

George, they ambushed us! They killed my pa and all my brothers!

Hell, they pert near killed us all!

Come on, come on!

We should've waited for the relations.

Them Shepherdsons knew we were comin'!

What happened to Miss Sophie? - Her and that Shepherdson made it across the river.

Them dirty scoundrels. George, I'm gonna kill 'em.

Billy!

Shoot 'im, boys!

Don't let 'im get away!


See anything? No.

Let's try this way!


Huck! Huckleberry!

You were mighty good to me, Billy.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you my real name.

It's Huck.

Huckleberry Finn.

I'm sorry, Billy.

Come on, Huck. Gotta bring him home.

Jim and me found the raft and fixed it up as best we could.

It felt good gettin'back on the river. Other places feel so cramped and smothered.

But the river don't. You always feel warm and safe and free on the river.

That wasn't my fault.

You are the sorriest thing I've ever seen.

That Russian fell in the river, that's what happened.

Hello there! We're lookin'for Cairo!

Can you tell us how close we are?

Chuckleheads, you already passed it! It's about 40 miles back!

Talk about lost!

Must've missed it that night in the fog, Jim.

I'll be caught and sold for sure.

How're we gonna get back to Cairo, Jim?

Sure can't take this raft back up the river.

And no how can we fight this current.

No, but we could take a steamboat upriver! - Yeah!

We'll find one that's goin' north, and then you can buy us passage.

Yeah, we'll keep headin' south 'til we find us a steamboat.

Take it all the way back up to Cairo. Right up the Ohio.

All the way up to the free states.

Good thinkin', Huck.

Why, thank you, Jim.

Here's some more wood, Jim. Right there.

Tryin' to get this fire goin'.

Come on, Duke! Over here!

Why are you always stealin' chickens?

I love chickens. They're succulent.

We're chicken thieves! That's as low as it gets. - Shut up and keep runnin'!

It seems to me, Jim, whenever anybody's after anybody, it's usually me they's after.

Hello there, we's in need of assist!

Let's get! You bet!

Grab the oars!

Hold up! I'm right behind you, Duke! Come on, push off!

Huh?

What the...

Hey! Get your own raft!

Thank you, lads. We'd be obliged. Thanks, nothin'!

You was gonna hightail out and just leave us, wasn't ya? - No, I weren't. Honest.

Please, sir. - If ya don't let the boy go, how's he gonna save our hides?

Sorry, boy.

People tryin' to kill me and... dogs tryin' to rip my face off, and it ain't even breakfast yet.

They call me the King, the King of Bilgewater, and this here's the Duke.

Pleased to meet ya.

The King and the Duke seemed like nice enough fellas, but something about 'em made me feel mighty uneasy.

They asked us a considerable many questions.

Yeow! - Bull's-eye. And once again...

I decided it would be best to leave out the truth.

So... my ma grabbed onto the trapeze and swung one way.

My pa came a-swingin' on the other. My ma let go, did a double flip... and missed my pa by a good six feet.

She made quite a mess when she hit them bleachers.

I think this boy's gonna fit right in.

Thank you, Jim. So what is it you two fellas do, exactly?

We do a fair bit of doctorin'.

Yeah. We can cure cancer, paralysis, baldness.

This time we're sellin' a thing that takes tartar off of teeth.

And it does take it off too. But unfortunately the... enamel goes right along with it. Yeah, well!

We also do some theatre. Tragedy, you know.

Yeah, we got enough... Shakespearean costumes here for the lot of us.

But what we do best are the three Es.

Robbery, forgery... and burglary.

Hell's bells! I wish I knew a good trade.

Well, maybe we'll teach you one, huh?

Yeow! Go... You skinny little rat bag!

I'm gonna wring your skinny little neck!

Hey, watch it! Stop peckin' at me!

Oh, good morning, boys. Good morning.

Aw, hello, Duke.

We gotta run, now, huh? Naw, naw, naw, naw.

I just been borrowin' a few things. Ah, yeah.

Nobody saw me.

But lookee what I found.

You were headin' for your Uncle Billy's plantation, huh? - Now, wait a minute.

You're a runaway murderin'slave's what you are.

I think maybe I'll just collect that reward.

He only murdered me. Now, look, we ain't exactly the type... to turn others into the law.

We stay as far away from the law as is humanly possible.

So if you two just, uh...

Listen up and shut up and do as you're told...

-and wait on us hand and foot... and be real nice to us, we won't say a word.

You step out of line, try and run and...

Oh, ho ho!

Easy prey.

I'm all right! Ya think? - I do.

Shall we? Let's.

Hello, there! Happy morn to ya!

And a good mornin' to you all too!

Say, you wouldn't happen to be... the Wilks brothers, now, would ya?

Yes. No!

No. - My name is Blodgett, Dr. Alexander Blodgett.

This here is Franciscus, uh, Adolphus and Jim.

Oh, shoot. Adolphus?

I reckon it don't matter. They already missed it anyways. - Missed? What?

Was an, um, economic opportunity they missed, huh?

Oh, ho ho! No, no, no.

They'll get the money and the property all right, but... they missed the death of their brother Peter Wilks... down at Phelps Landing.

He died.

Last night.

Too bad. So sad.

Yup. He said he ain't seen his two brothers... in more than 20 years.

Yeah? So, uh, why did you think we was them?

Well, one of the brothers, the preacher?

He's a lot older. And the one that's deaf and dumb... he's a lot younger, see.

So when I saw you two, I just reckoned maybe...

Are you leaving the area for a while? I'm goin' to New Orleans.

Well, methinks this calls for a small libation!

Ha ha ha ha! I'll drink to that!

Right this way, my gold-toothed friend!

We in trouble, Huck.

The King and the Duke found out... that the dead guy's brothers lived over in England.

They hadn't had much time to get the letter... and might not have gotten it at all.

So those two rat bags grilled that flathead... about everything and everybody in his village, right down to the damn dog next door.

Woof! Mighty smart of ya!

Mighty smart of ya.

Was Peter Wilks well off?

Oh, he was, uh, he was as rich as King Soromon himself.

I tell you, Jim, the hand of providence is bound to take a swing at them two.

And knowin' them, they'll duck.

How are you at playing a preacher?

How are you at playin' deaf and dumb? Pardon?

Heh heh heh heh heh! Ha ha ha ha!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cheers. Cheers.

Attention, passengers! jubilee leaving for Phelps Landing in 15 minutes!

Do I have to wear this?

Wanted to learn a trade, didn't ya?

Why can't we just wait here? Because I don't trust ya.

You'd hightail it for sure, and we need to leave this raft here for our getaway.

Besides, we'll be more convincing... after we arrive with an innocent young boy as our valet.

Who you callin' innocent?

Look, you wouldn't want us to accidentally turn in... your runaway slave friend, now, would ya?

Come on. Play along with us for a couple of days.

We'll give ya 10 percent.

20.

15. Deal.

You never looked better! I have too looked better!

You're beautiful! I feel ridiculous!

Hey, King! Yeah?

Let's go buy those tickets. All right.

Be right back. Shoo! Shoo, fly!

Shoo!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Funny, Huck. Very funny.

What in hell's bells are you supposed to be?

The King said I was a Swahili warrior.

Even taught me some Swahili, or what he said was Swahili.

Sounded like a pig in heat to me. Hee hee.

I'd poked around a little... and found out that a steamboat was leavin'... from Phelps Landing the day after tomorrow... and headin'all the way up to Cairo.

So all we had to do was put up with them rat bags for two more days, then it was off to freedom.

Uh, begging your pardon on this, can any of you good people tell me... where Mr. Peter Wilks lives?

I'm looking for Mr. Peter Wilks.

Get out of the way, for heaven's sake.

Peter's brothers, right?

Uh, heh-heh-heh.

I can tell by your fancy accent. But we're sorry to say... we can only tell you where Peter did live... up until yesterday.

Oh. What you're tellin'me, I think, is that my dear, sweet brother Peter... has gone to the Lord.

He held on for you as long as he could, but yesterday he passed.

And we came all the way from England.

Alas. Alas.

And we never got to see him.

Excuse me.

I must communicate with me deaf brother.


I told you before, she's my woman! No, she's not!

Hey, don't I know you two?

Yeah, I do! You're that...

Stand aside!

Welcome to America!

My dear, sweet Mary Jane.

Uncle Harvey. Ho-ho-ho!

Mmm, mmm...

Enough. Heh-heh.

Ah, you're as bloomin'beautiful as Peter said you was.

You sure are. Ha ha ha!

This is my, uh, valet, Adolphus.

My English valet, right?

Right, right. Heh.

Isn't he the sweetest looking boy? Why, thank you, missus!

Heh-heh. Oh, and this is my Swahili warrior...

I picked up in Africa on a safari with the Duke of York.

He makes a great slave.

Yeah. Yes, of course.

Er, might we, uh, pay our respects to our brother's remainders?


Oh, oh, yes, yes. Rather, William.

Uh, my brother says... he'd like to invite friends of the family for supper, people mentioned by our dear Peter so often in his letters.

No, I won't forget... You know, we might just prosper... hanging around with them two.

More than likely, we'll get our necks stretched.

Well, that old King juiced it plenty, spittin'out word-for-word everything that young flathead told him.

And how's that damn dog next door?

Smelly as the dickens.

Oh, thank ya ever so.

So I says to the pope, " Pope, I'd like to stay and help ya, but I've got a blinkin'job to do... down in the bloomin' Indian Ocean savin' the blinkin' pirates."

Watch yourself, Huck.

She's just a girl, Jim.

Adolphus, have you ever seen the king?

Him? Oh, yeah. William III. George IV.

Oh, the King of England!

Oh, why didn't you bloody say so? Course I have.

He goes to our church, regular.

But I thought he lived in London.

Well, he does. But you live in Sheffield.

That is to say... he goes to our church when he's in Sheffield.

Do you go to church?

Of course I do. We got our own pew right up front.

Whose pew? - Why, ours. Your Uncle Harvey's, of course.

What would he need a pew for? Isn't he preaching up in the pulpit?

My thoughts exactly. Now, do you suppose... there ain't but one bloody, blinkin' preacher to a bloomin' church?

What would they want more for? Style.

If it's a priest before a king, you got to have lots of style goin' on.

In our church, we've got 17 bloody, blinkin', bloomin'preachers.

Where's Buckingham Palace? In Buckingham.

Who's the King married to? His wife. - What's her name?

Uh, the queen. - Queen what? - Queen of England.

Ha! You don't know anything, do ya? Well, I think...

-you're the biggest fibber... -Susan!

How dare you speak to him so, him being a stranger in a strange land, so far from his own people.

He was telling a few stretchers, and I wasn't swallowing them.

You apologize to him this instant.

I apologize, Adolphus. You're a dear, sweet boy.

I'm ashamed I called you a fibber.

Women. Here, now, have some pie and milk, because you are so sweet. Why, thank you ever so.

And these are the girls we're lettin' those reptiles... rob of their money.

A right good day, Mary Jane! Good day to you, Adolphus.

Ah, we've just been... for a marvellous walk in the woods.

What a lovely country! Ha-ha-ha!

A right good day, sirs!

Would you happen to know where the... the great Swahili warrior's sleepin'?

We decided the Swahili bit was pushing it and asked him to wait at the raft.

Well, what about...

A good lad! Here it is, Uncle.

Father said only you should open it.

Oh. Bless him.

" Last Will and Testament of Peter J. Wilks.

I, Peter J. Wilks, being of sound mind..."

Well, the dead geezer gave the girls his houses, the slaves, and thousands of dollars in gold.

Then he gave more gold...

"to my dear, beloved brothers Harvey and William."

Praise be to the Lord.

Er, "The gold is hidden in the barn behind the vineyards."

Well, William, I guess we better go and get it.

Well? Well?

There, behind the grindstone.

Aah! Allow me.

Wow!

Begging your pardon! Hmph!

If this ain't bully, nothing is.

Like I told you this morning, we're goin' all the way with this one.

All for us and none for them. Let's count it.

I don't think it's right, us stealin from them nice girls.

You're in it now, you little stinkweed.

Right up to your sneaky little eyeballs. -And if it goes wrong...

You'll take your punishment right along with us.

Ya know what they'll do if they catch us?

Ya know what happens to ya when they tar and feather ya?

Do ya? No, sirs!

No, I... I don't know!

The tar oozes into your pores.

Clogs 'em up real tight.

Suffocates your skin. Ya get all green and sick.

Then ya choke and ya cough.

Until ya tear your own flesh so's ya can breathe.

But ya can't breathe!

And half the time, ya die from it.

And those that don't die... feel so bad, they wish that they had.

And that's just what'll happen to you if ya open your mouth.

Hey.

Maybe young Adolphus here has the right idea.

We should give the money back to the girls.

That's a dazzling idea, King.

That'll knock over their suspicions. Shut 'em up for good.

Until we steal it all back. Yeah, we give them the money... and that gives us the time to steal everything else.

Genius.

We're gonna be set for life!

I'd had enough, and steamboat or no steamboat, I figured it were time to grab Jim... and hightail it to Cairo.

Heh-heh. Friends, our dear departed... has done generous to his little lambs, and as their uncles, I think we'd like to enhance... the generous spirit of the day.

You see, I knew he'd feel the same as me.

Mary Jane, Julia, Susan, take the money.

Take it all. A gift from your uncles.

Wonderful! Dear souls, how could you?

Englishman, my butt!

You're a couple of frauds.

I beg your pardon. And who might you be?

Dr. Robinson, ain't you heard? They're Peter's brothers.

Doctor... Dr. Robinson! Oh!

My brother's, oh, good friend and physician.

Take your hand away from me, you impostor!

They proved it 40 ways that they're the brothers.

They even knew everything about the village! - And everybody's name!

They even know about the damn dog next door. - Enough!

They came here with lots of names and facts... they must've picked up somewhere, that's all.

Yup, it was time to leave, all right.

I could smell the winds a-changin', and they stunk.

Turn these rascals out, I beg you.

They're liars.

Based on what evidence?

Here's my answer, doctor.

Uncle Harvey, Uncle William, take the gold back... and invest it for me and my sisters any way you want.

That's my answer, doctor.

Whooo!

Marvellous.

I hated to run out on them sweet girls, but I figured if I stuck around, that dead geezer 'n'me would be sharin'lodgin's.

Hey, you seen a big slave around, maybe hangin' on my raft?

You bet I was. Two men catched him, and now he's in jail.

What? They had a handbill... that said he was a murderer and a runaway... and worth $400. So where is he now?

Took him down to the jail in Phelps Landing.

Phelps Landing. Yeah, we're gonna keep him there... until we can take him up north for the hangin'.

I'm gonna fix their wagons but good.

I'd come all the way down the Mississippi... and hadn't gotten anywhere, and I realized right then that ya can't run away from your problems, ya gotta make a stand and face 'em.

I didn't tell 'em nothin'. I didn't want to get you in any trouble.

Good, because my butt's hangin' way out, and I'd rather not get it shot off.

I got to tell 'em you're not a murderer.

That don't matter.

Me bein' a runaway's even worse than me bein' a murderer.

The steamboat leaves the wharf at 10:00 tomorrow tonight.

Don't you worry, Jim. We'll both be on it.

There's something I got to tell ya before you risking yourself for me.

You know that night on the steamboat with all them murderers?

Yeah.

Your Pap was one of'em.

I saw him, and he was dead.

Dead?

Pap's dead?

You saw him and you didn't tell me? I'm sorry.

I'm dreadful sorry. I was so selfish.

That was a lie, Jim.

That was a lie!

And I thought we were friends.

I did wrong. Ain't no gettin' around it.

Now I'm gonna get what I deserve.

Hey, boy! Take care of yourself, Mr. Finn.


Now, where have you been, you little turd pie? just playin' with the damn dog next door.

Just playing with the little doggies? I oughta...

Just stay right here today! Understand? Hmm?

Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen!

What's that old fool up to now?

Me dear brother and I have a little announcement we'd like to make.

It don't seem right... for William and I to leave these little lambs... without any kinfolk around.

So we have decided, er, Mary Jane, Julia, Susan...

We have decided... to take you back with us to England!

We'll be havin' an auction tomorrow mornin'... after the funeral, so tell one and all! We will be selling everything!

We're going to England!

I figured that before I took off, I'd grab that gold away from them two frauds.

Then when I was long gone, I'd write Mary Jane and tell her where I hid it.

Well, what is it? Make it quick.

I gotta tell ya, King, I'm just not comfortable.

That doctor's been layin' on my mind all day.

We should just glide out of here tonight with what we got.

And not sell the rest of the property?

I reckon these sacks of gold are plenty for me.

I figure we should just knock off and light out.

We can't leave thousands of dollars worth of property lying around.

What about the damn doctor?

Forget about the doctor! He's the only one that's suspicious.

Everyone else is on our side!

Now, look, Duke, old friend.

My brains and your bullocks, we ain't never gonna get caught.

Yeah, all right.

Well, just let me take another peek at that gold... before we head back down.

Slice of heaven, King. Feels like a slice of heaven.

Come on!


My Pap were a bad one, but he were my Pap.

If you see him, tell him Huck says hello.

Good night!


Where's the stiff?

What? Who? The coffin! Where's the coffin?

We buried him this morning.

And ever since, Uncle Harvey's been having the auction.

First thing he sold were the slaves.

He separated the families.

Come on! Where are we going?

Got any friends out in the country? Yes, the Lothrups. Why?

If I tell you somethin', promise not to come back here until 10:00 tonight.

Now, why would I do that? -Just promise me, Mary Jane!

All right, I... I promise. Say... what happened to your accent?

Those uncles of yours ain't no uncles at all.

They ain't even English.

Dr. Robinson was right. Them two are liars and frauds.

What? Don't you worry! I got the gold.

When this all blows over, I'll write and tell ya where it's buried.

Oh, no. I'm gonna get those two right now and get 'em tarred...

No, you're not, Mary Jane. You promised me.

Why until 10:00?

'Cause there's a good-hearted fellow I gotta save, and at 10:00, we'll be gone. Come on.

Well, why do I have to leave town?

Why can't I just pretend I don't know?

Because there ain't an easier book to read than your face.

You'd give it away for sure.

Even $225... $225...

$225... $240... $275...

$300... now higher...

$350. $375... $375...

Yeah. $375 and a $400.

Even $400. Sold, $400! Let's sell the next lot.

Mary Jane was safe, the gold was safe, them reptiles would soon be in jail, and at 10.00 tonight, Jim and me would be on a steamboat... headin'for Cairo.

All I had to do was find that deputy, steal his keys, and break Jim oouut!

Oh, I told you... Let me go! not to disappear! Didn't I? Let me go!

Oh, now, don't kill him...just yet.

Answer up, and quick.

Were you in our room last night? No, your maj... Unh!

Where is our money?

I ain't seen it since Mary Jane gave it to ya.

Honest, your majesties! If I stole it, would I still be here?

No, I guess not, unless you're a complete numskull.

Uh-oh.

Here's another set of Wilks brothers!

Just got here on the Mississippi Queen!

Ya pays your money and ya takes your pick!

Now is the hour of your demise, you impostors!

What's this all about, my good sir?

Please let the man through! That's right!

I'm with you, Harvey.

I am Harvey Wilks, and this is my brother William.

And you two gentlemen are quite a surprise to us.

And you to us, sir.

But I must say, you should have worked on your English accent a wee bit more!

For this town has few fools, and only a fool would be fooled by that foolish accent.

That's the worst English accent I ever heard.

Ain't nothin' like yours, Harve. I'm not very well fixed... to show proof of these frauds at the moment, for last night, all our bags were put off by mistake.

Convenient mistake, huh? Yeah, convenient.

What are you doing? What's he doing?

Making deaf and dumb signs, that's what he's doing.

Don't your brother know how? Those are just nonsense!

And of course William can do real ones, only he broke his arm in a fall.

Ah-ha-ha! Broke his arm, very likely, for a man who's got to make deaf signs to prove himself.

Oh, wait, wait, wait!

Now, I'm not sure these two are the real Wilks brothers, but by God, I know them two sure ain't.

By the way, Adolphus, are you from England? Why, yes, I am.

Speak the truth now, or by God, there's gonna be one less idiot around here.

That is to say, sir, I'm originally from Missouri, but several years ago, I was sent to England... to live with my great-grandfather, the Duke of Bilgewater. Bilgewater?

But he died last year, and his good friend, Mr. Harvey Wilks here, took me in.

Personally, I think you're just a damn good liar.

Why, thank you for the compliment, sir.

All right, enough.

We're gonna figure out who's who right here and now, and nobody's goin' nowhere until we do.

Well, they sailed into the investigation, hour in and hour out, the King tellin' one story and Harvey Wilks another.

But no one knew nothin' about England, so they couldn't figure out who was lyin'.

Although most people were comin' to believe they both was.

I got it! I got it!

I can prove I'm Harvey Wilks and these men frauds!

Why didn't I think of it sooner?

Now, who here helped lay out my brother... the late Peter Wilks... in his coffin? Hmm? - They did!

Me and Abe here dressed him up and layed him out ourselves.

All right, then.

Perhaps you can tell me what was tattooed on Peter's breast.

Come on!

Come on, out with it!

We want to hear it!

Out with it! Yeah!

All right, all right.

I can tell you what was tattooed on his breast, all right.

You'd have to look real close to notice it.

Just tell us what the tattoo is about!

Come on, out with it! Tell him!

Come on! Get to it!

It was a small... thin... blue...

arrow! Arrow?

Yes! There! You all heard what he said? Yeah!

Did you see any such mark?

Nope. Nope.

You fraud!

That's right, because there isn't any blue arrow.

Peter had his initials tattooed on his breast, the letters " P" and "W".

Well, come on, then!

Isn't that what you saw?

I didn't see any tattoo, did you?

I never noticed no tattoo at all!

They're all frauds!

I say we tar 'em! Yeah!

I say we shoot 'em! Yeah!

I say we hang 'em! Yeah!

Hang 'em! Hang all of'em!

Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

There is one way to see which pair is the real Wilks brothers, or if neither of them is!

Let's dig up the corpse!

Yeah!

To the cemetery!

We've got the tar!


Well?

Dig it up!


Hey, we found it, doc! They hit it!

All right, heave!

Won't be long now, Deputy Hines!

Push it! Push it! Got it?

Almost got it! Push!

Eeewwhh! Oh!

My good God! There's gold in there!

Aah!

It's the Wilks' gold!

We'd best be goin', Jim!

Huck? I thought you'd have your neck stretched by now!

I'm a little quicker than that.

Why, Huck? Why, what?

Why'd ya come and get me?

'Cause you're my friend, Jim.

Oh, come on.

Now, let's get to that steamboat!


Come on! It's the boy with that runaway slave!

Hit the trail! Get 'em!

Fire!

Aah! Unh!

You all right, Huck?

I just tripped. I'm all right. Keep goin'!

Unh! Unh!

Last call for Cairo and all points north!

All aboard!

Almost there, Huck!

We made it, Huck! Huck?

Oh! Oh, my little friend!

Oh. Oh.

Go on, Jim. Go on. I ain't goin' nowhere without you.

What are ya doin',Jim? They'll catch ya.

They won't find ya in the dark.

I got to get ya to a doctor.

I'll be okay. Ya...

Ya can't take me, Jim. They'll catch ya.

They'll lynch ya.

Don't go, Jim. Last call for Cairo! Last call for Cairo!

All aboard! I don't care what happens to me, Huck.

I just want to get you well.

Jim...Jim...

We had us a great adventure, didn't we, Jim?

We sure did, Huck. And I'd do it all over again.

Yeah.

Get 'em!

Oh!

You can't... You can't kill him.

Don't you cry for me, Mr. Finn.

You're the best friend I ever had, Jim.

You're the only friend I ever had.

Ya can't.

Aah! No!

Jim!

No, ya can't take him.

He's all I got.

Ready?

Tighten it up. Aah! Aah!

Leave the boy alone! He's innocent!

Now, Mary Jane! And if he was trying to help that slave, he had a good reason for it.

Now you let them both go!

Now!

Aw, let him go.

Lucky day, boy!


You're awake.

He's awake. He's awake!

Sweetie, we were so worried about you but you're going to be all right now.

My little Huckleberry!

Widow Douglas. Why, how'd you get here?

Lands, child. You've been out cold for a week.

When I heard what happened, I took the first steamer down.

Well, I'm sure ya think I'm low-down and miserable... for tryin' to set Jim free, but do ya hate me? Not at all, child.

I'm right proud of you. Just because an idea is popular, like slavery, don't make it right.

That's what Jim told me.

Your little heart guided you quite well.

Hey, Jim!

You lie still, and I'll bring you some soup.

Well, look at you.

What is it, Jim?

Did somebody do something to you?

'Cause if they did, why... Miss Watson died.

A few weeks ago.

And, well, she was so ashamed... that she was going to sell me away from my wife and my children, that... she set me free in her will, Huck.

I'm a free man, Huck.

I'm a free man.

Children, come here, please.

Mr. Jenkins! Good-bye, Adolphus Huckleberry.

Well, I healed up just fine.

Mary Jane and her sisters, along with the Wilks brothers, gave me $500 for my troubles and my chivalrousness.

But since I got no real use for money, I gave it all to Jim... for his family.

The Widow Douglas said she'd adopt me... and take me home and try and civilize me...

but I don't know if I could stand it...

'cause I've been there before.

Now, where did Huckleberry go to?