The Badger Game (2014) Script

Fuck.

He broke up with me. Out of the blue.

No reason, just nice knowing you, have a nice fucking life.

I spent a week trying to get a hold of him and eventually I found out where the prick lived.

You were dating him for six months and you didn't know where he lived?

And now I know why... he's married with two kids and lives in calabasas.

Not only that, he's been fucking other women, besides me, besides his wife.

Does she know? She doesn't have a clue.

How do you know? Because I know.

She's raises the kids. He brings home the bacon.

Very "Patty Duke" type.

That really sucks, Alex, I'm sorry, but what does this have anything to do with me?

Which leads me to my plan.

So you gonna tell her?

Not exactly. What, are you gonna kill him?

I'm gonna blackmail him.

Like, for money?

Yeah, money. He's loaded.

He works at some big time ad agency owned by "Patty Duke's" father.

She finds out, he finds out, bye-bye posh lifestyle, hello alimony.

You know, that is big time illegal.

I'm not just blackmailing anyone.

I let him fuck me in the ass.

Seriously? Come on.

And besides, he makes steady income.

He'll make what we take in a year.

We? Who is "we"?

You know...

I knew that there must be some fucked-up reason why you called me over here.

Shelly, you are the only person I trust.

That's real sweet, Alex...

But I don't trust you.

Shelly... And actually, I'm not that surprised that you didn't have anybody else to call.

I just... I find it sort of ironic that you would call me considering you fucked my boyfriend.

You're not still mad about that are you?

It's not like you two were getting married or anything.

You know, honestly, Alex, I came over here because I thought you might be ready to apologize.

Okay...

I don't even remember his hame.

It's Kevin. Kevin.

Fine. I'm sorry I fucked Kevin.

I did you a favor by the way.

Not a whole lot going on down there.

You know, that is the shitty apology I've ever heard.

This is more than an apology, Shelly.

I know that you and your daughter live in shanty town.

What?

You don't think I know what my best friend's been up to?

Ex-best friend, okay?

Shelly, it's called shanty town.

That's what we called it when we were kids.

That's what it's called now.

Just 'cause you live there doesn't change the fact that it's called shanty town.

We're doing just fine.

We might not have a hacienda like you here, but, you know, we're getting by.

Don't you want more than to just get by?

It's not like I'm asking you to Rob a bank.

No, but you might as well be.

I'm pretty sure the prison term's the exact same for blackmailing. Man: And kidnapping.

Don't forget the kidnapping part.

Kidnapping?

Just to insure that he doesn't go to the cops or try something clever.

Liam's pretty resourceful. Kip, can you put on a shirt?

You remember my brother, right?

This is Shelly.

Kip: Val high? Yeah.

Did we fuck?

Um, no, but thank you for asking.

Mm, that's a shame. She the bait?

Bait?! Don't call her that.

What the fuck do you want me to call her?

Call her Shelly.

Okay, you can call me "offended," and you can call me "leaving."

And after I walk out that door, Alex, don't ever call me again.

Two million dollars!

That's what he's got.

I know all of his hot spots.

The idea is for you to simply show up at one of them and flirt with him, that's all.

Well, how... how do we even know that I'm his type?

Because you'll be wearing that.

He's got this thing for polka dots.

Don't ask me why.

Maybe he's got a minnie mouse fetish or something.

You'll definitely catch his eye.

And then what?

And then you stir up some conversation...

About what? Uh, whatever.

TV, sports, movies... Kip: Sex.

And then you invite him out to your car, where kip will be waiting with the...

Jane: Chinese food's here.

Finally.

Sorry, it took for-fucking-ever.

What's the point of calling in an order if it takes 20 minutes to get your fucking food?

Is this the bait? Uh-huh.

Shelly, this is Jane. Jane, this is Shelly.

Hey. Nice to meet you.

Oh, sorry, my hands a bit sticky.

I got fucking duck sauce and soy sauce shit all over it.

Uh, yeah, Jane is another girl Liam's sleeping with.

I went to her work to bitch her out, um...

We kind of became friends. Hoes before bros.

Are you hungry?

Uh, no, I'm cool. Thank you.

You're a good friend for doing this.

Alex says you two go way back in high school.

Alex: She's not in yet. Well, it's not like that.

It's just like a lot... It's okay, it's okay.

I wasn't into at first.

But this guy is a manipulative, narcissistic, sociopath, and I've met all kinds.

Well, if he's so terrible, then why were you dating him in the first place?

Kip: Can't you tell by looking at her?

She makes poor life choices.

All right, if I make poor life choices, I would've slept with you.

There's two types of guys in this world, Shelly.

There's the type that seem like assholes and then turn out to be all right.

And then there's the type that seem all right and then turn out to be total fucking assholes.

Liam being the latter of course.

Uh... how much would I stand to make?

Four-way split. Half a mil each.

Not a bad day's work.

All right, I'm in.

Shelly, thank you so much. Thank you.

All right, this does not mean that we're friends.

And also, I still think that you're a big bitch.

That's fine.

You won't regret it, though.

I hope not.

Man, they fucking forgot my lo mein.

All right, kip, let's get this over with, since we're all here.

Oh, yeah.

Shelly: Wait, what are you guys doing?

We need to know how long Liam will be out since we need to transport him from a to point b.

We need to figure out the exact amount of chloroform to give him.

Um, how much was it last time? Kip: 12 minutes.

Well, okay, that's just not enough.

So... the goal will be 20.

We don't want him waking up during the trip.

Jesus Christ! You did that like three times.

What, is the goal to fucking kill me?

Okay, we also don't want to give him a fatal dosage either.

Kip: That's good.

You ready? Yeah.

Just don't let me hit my head again. Okay.

See you soon.

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So what are you waiting for, lover?

Why don't you come?

How was that?

Nailed it.

Certainly made me want to come.

Charming, Liam, very charming.

Come on in. I need to get your "Jen hancock".

Just like reading Shakespeare.

Who writes this copy anyways? You? I help.

I took a creative writing class in college, so...

What, you don't like it?

It's very you.

Hey, uh, Dave.

Um, can you get out of here, please?

You're a good man.

Ow. Fuck.

You okay? Yeah.

Aw, did you get a paper cut, honey?

You ever see what blood does to a Valentino suit?

Well, you should be more careful.

Careful.

I don't do careful. Oh, no?

No.

Mmm.

You ever see what blood does to silk?


Hey, honey. Yeah, I'm sorry it's late.

Um, I just wanted to call you before it got too late.

Sales meeting went well. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, but hal wants me to take Mr. namoto and his staff out for drinks.

So it could be a late night.

But you know asians and their strip clubs.

Well, um...

I'm sorry.

Sorry, um... no.

No.

You know, what? Um... I wouldn't wait up.

I love you.

Bye.

Liam: And I see this kid, who...

Couldn't have been any more than 13, and he's being trampled by this herd of charging bulls.

I couldn't tell if he was dead or if he was alive, um...

But all of a sudden, I... I turn and I run.

And I grab him and I pulled him to safety.

That's incredible.

That's Pamplona. Spain.

That's really... That's an amazing story.

Oh, yeah.

Got a few.

Yeah, well...

Oh, my. Oh, my.

What did you do?

Here, let me help you with that.

Thank you.

So, um, tell me about yourself.

I feel like I've just been going on.

Well, uh, I've never saved any children from a stampede before.

Uh, I did chase a raccoon out of my backyard once.

Oh. No, really, what do you want to know?

What I want to know is why a pretty girl is sitting all by herself at a bar.

And you're obviously not waiting for anyone.

How do you know that?

Because your back is to the door.

And you don't have wandering eyes.

Well...

Maybe you're just that interesting.

Maybe.

Or maybe you have been waiting for someone...

And that someone is already here.

Bartender, can we have another, please?

Please. Thank you.

You know, I gotta tell you, I'm a sucker for a girl in polka dots.

Nobody ever wears them.

Well, I guess I picked the right thing, then.

I guess.

It's, uh...

It's like you were sent here.

By who?

By... my...

Guardian angel.

Guilty.

You tell her next time you see her, I said thanks. I will.

The next time I see her, I will tell her.

Listen, would you like to go somewhere a little more quiet?

Yeah.

Oh, man. Um, hey, we should take my car.

Oh, no, you know what? You've had too much to drink.

Why don't I drive? Oh, I could say the same about you.

Don't worry.

I'll get you back in time for school.

Come on.

What the... shit.

I only drive one speed and that speed is fast, so I hope you don't mind.

Uh, you know what? I left something in my car.

I gotta go get it. Where did you park?

Over there. You wanna come?

I'll drive, hmm?

So I was...

Surprise, motherfucker!

Ow! Fuck! Fuck!

Come on, go to sleep! Go to sleep! Hey, hey, hey.

Sleep, sleep, sleep.

There we go.

Don't see that every day.

Whoo!

Happy new year.

Oh, man, I cannot believe we got away with that.

I totally thought that we were fucked.

Did anyone see you?

Jesus, thankfully, no.

I mean, we were right in front of the bar, though, people were coming and going.

I mean, we had to pull the car around the back.

The whole thing was completely screwed up.

I hope you didn't leave any fingerprints.

What do I look like, an amateur?

Come on, here.

Jane I don't drink. But you're a stripper.

So?

Don't you have to drink to do that for a living?

Some girls do, yeah.

But not you.

Oh, well, more for us.

Jane: Got a long night ahead of you.

Kip: It's champagne, it's not whiskey, mom.

You really came through on this, Shelly.

Was it as hard as you thought?

No.

He approached me just like Alex said he would.

That's Liam's problem.

He's so fucking predictable.

Did he at least behave himself?

Yeah.

A true gentleman.

Look, I don't get what the deal is with this guy anyway.

Right? Jane: It's a gift, kip.

Don't be jealous 'cause you don't have it.

Oh, please.

I got a gift...

See, Liam wouldn't say something like that.

Well, fuck Liam. I have.

Showtime. Finally.

You're the one who overdosed him.

He was drunk.

I was never drunk when you tested it on me.

Maybe... maybe alcohol adds time or something.

I don't know.

Here. Champagne. Drink up.

You guys ready? Kip: Yeah.

Shelly, you are the rabbit.

Because you're cute and timid like a shy little bunny.

I thought I was the rabbit.

You? No.

Ha! You're the frog.

Dick.

Don't worry, the worst part is over.

You guys ready to go?

Ribbit.


Hello, sunshine.

Sorry for all the, uh, theatrics.

Just an average garage, but I imagine under your circumstances, a little bit like a torture chamber, no?

What's it they always say?

"They seemed like such a nice family.

Such a happy family."

But just like, well, every family that looks like a motherfucking greeting card, you know better than anybody else.

Bit of a ladies man.

Bit of a natural, huh?

Me, I gotta work at it, myself, but...

Great resume, too.

Vice president... vice president of masters and Higgins.

The ever-growing advertising company.

Pretty prosperous career, which I would assume, without your father-in-law, wouldn't be true.

Won't be true if pictures like these happen to wind up in his hands.

Here's the plan, Liam.

Tomorrow morning, 7:00, I'm gonna hand you two things.

A cell phone and a bank account number.

You're gonna call your bank and you're gonna transfer every dollar from your savings into that account.

And if this doesn't go exactly according to plan, then your wife, neighbors, friends, children, get a bird's-eye view of who you really are.

We don't want that, do we, Liam?

Tape off.

Ah, fuck!

Who are you? Oh, we're bill collectors, and you're overdue.

Look, I'm going to be totally honest with you, you're wasting your time with this.

My money... It's all tied up in stocks.

It would take me weeks to pull it together.

Mm, then you work quick.

Because as of two days ago, this is the sum total of what was in your bank account.

There's no use lying to us, Liam.

You're tied to a fucking chair, man.

You're in the middle of nowhere.

We've been in your trash, in your car, in your house.

We know who you are.

You've been in my house?

Oh, stop it.

Your wife and children weren't home.

Look...

You want me to make a reasonable withdrawal, we can drive down to my bank...

Liam, you're not listening.

Do you see any lawyers present?

This is not a negotiation, my friend.

All right, all right.

Tape him back up.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Go ahead and show my wife the pictures.

To be honest, you'd be doing me a favor.

Save me the hassle of having to tell her myself.

I've been wanting a divorce for a long time anyway.

So you know what? Go ahead.

Fuck you!

Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you!

I didn't work my ass off for the past eight years so I could fork over all my money to a bunch of degenerates wearing silly masks! That's it, Liam! Come on! Get angry!

I feel your pain.

Eight years is a long time.

I was an exterminator for close to that until I got laid off.

You know, roach spray is actually kind of a funny thing.

It, uh...

Contains this active ingredient.

Pyrethrin.

It's chemical derived from chrysanthemums.

Can you believe that?

Flowers, Liam.

Flowers.

Now, pyrethrin, enters the cockroach's body through the cuticle, it's like your skin, and it immediately disables the cockroach's nervous system, shutting down its bodily functions...

Killing it entirely.

I've heard it said it tastes like shit, too.

Hold him. Hold... Would you hold him?

Now, you see, most household brands also contain an ingredient that induces vomiting, when ingested by pets and humans.

Takes about 1 minute.

Which means you have about 20 seconds to decide whether or not all of this goes down!

Well, then there's nowhere for the vomit to go and you end up choking to death on your own vile.

Are you with us, Liam? Are you with us?!

Yeah?

Am I gonna take the rag out?

Yes, please? Yes, please?

Yes, please?

Oh, god!

Oh, come on, Liam.

We have got a long night ahead of us.

Can I have something to drink, please?

Hey.

Thank you.

Tape him back up.

Whoo! Damn, that was intense.

Kip: Whoo!

Alex: Are you fucking crazy?!

Kip: What, I think I scared him pretty good.

Scared him? You almost killed him.

Well, it got the point across, did it not?

Wha...

I'm sorry, raise your hand if you think I got the point got across.

You saw how he was acting in there.

What was that "tell my wife" bullshit?

Kip, you're supposed to communicate with him, not torture him.

Okay.

And what would you have done if I weren't there, huh?

At least now he knows that if he doesn't pay us, we'll just torture his ass.

This is why you asked for my help.

Like it or not, I am here to make the decisions that you three can't make.

What the fuck does that mean?

To him that I don't have. I will hurt him.

Who says we have an emotional attachment?

You're women. We're women?

Yeah, it's a fact.

Women make emotional decisions.

Bullshit.

Okay, maybe not rugged strippers from Australia or wherever the fuck it is you're from...

"Rugged"? I'm from england, thank you.

Whatever, same thing.

Most women do respond that way. Fact.

You don't know what I'm capable of. Kip: Terrifying.

If something would've happened to him, kip...

But it didn't.

Was I or was I not an exterminator?

You were. My point exactly.

Fuck... Now, maybe we could do something a little bit more productive with this evening instead of just sitting around arguing.

How about a nice round of applause for our vip Shelly who fucking came through?

If she hadn't of sacked up, this whole thing would have gone to shit.

I left my tab open at the bar.

What? Kip: What?

You started a tab? I didn't have any cash.

Why didn't you tell me? I would have given you cash.

Shelly: I don't know, there was a lot happening at once and I... I got confused and I forgot.

Jane: Oh, fuck. What are we gonna do?

I'm sorry.

Now, you are aware, of course, that they now have your name on file, right?

Not if we get there first.

Come on.

You're gonna go back? Yes.

We just... you can't go back to the scene of a crime.

That's rule number fucking one.

Relax, it's not a crime scene if no one knows there was a crime.

If we get there before closing time and we pay cash, they won't run the tab. If they haven't run it already.

Yeah, and it's like 12:30, so hustle up.

Shelly, come on. Let's go.

Come on, let's go!

Alex?

What?

Are you mad at me?

Accidents happen.

So you're mad at me. I didn't say that.

Well, you didn't not say it.

Are you mad at you?

A little.

Well, then it doesn't matter if I am or not.

I'm not mad at you, Shelly.

I'm annoyed at kip to be honest.

I just... I hope it wasn't a bad idea getting him involved.

You get high? Jane: I'm in rehab.

So, yes, to add to me being a rugged, trashy stripper, I am also a recovering meth addict.

Okay, well, this is pot.

I've had pot before, thanks.

I'm abstaining from all drugs and alcohol.

Suit yourself.

Don't you think we should stay focused?

I mean, at least until they get back?


I've never smoked meth before.

What's it like?

It's pretty incredible, actually.

You feel confident, invincible, accepted.

Hmm.

Jesus, don't exactly see that on the posters, do you?

No.

They always make it sound so bad.

Let me as you a question.

Was this always the, uh, the American dream?

To come stateside and strip?

Yes, that's every english girl's dream.

What kind of stupid question is that?

Sorry.

I was a choreographer in england.

And I didn't have a work visa, so I stripped under the table.

I'd like to see it sometime.

The stripping, not the choreography shit.

Can we talk about something else, please?

Or better yet, nothing. Let's talk about nothing.

You want to hurt him, don't you?

What, did he, uh, knock you up, or something? Something.

You're not really in it for the money, huh?

Let's just say it's not my first motive.

You know, Alex, uh, she thought she was gonna marry the guy.

I don't see how.

Well, maybe they had a different relationship than you two did.

I guess so.

Do you, uh...

Do you think it's because of...

How you look, what you do?

I'm not... I'm not trying to offend you.

I'm simply saying, a woman such as yourself...

Isn't exactly going to attract Mr. Rogers.

Someone like Mr. Rogers isn't going to exactly attract me either.

That's fair.

Love this song.

Wanna dance? No, I don't.

Come on. I love this song. Come on.


Hi. I left my card here. What's your name?

My name?

Yeah, I need your name to find the card.

Collins, Michelle.

Wait a second. You were here earlier.

Hence, why she's here to close her tab.

Polka dot dress right?

Yeah.

Things must have gone well with your gentleman friend.

I mean, you changed clothes and all.

Ha, ha. Funny.

Michelle Collins? Yes, that's me.

On the card? Both: Cash!


Why am I the only one dancing?

I don't know, but you should really stop.

Hey, show me your moves?

Come on, show me your moves.

I'll tip you. No, thank you.

Um, I'm kidding.

Oh, god.

Yeah, I don't wanna do this. I'm gonna go outside.

You keep dancing. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come here.

Don't leave yet.

Fuck off.


Yes, oh, please. Oh!

Please, please, please, please!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Please, stop. Oh...

Fucker!

Please!

Please, stop! Stop!

Hey, please, no, no, ho, ho, ho.

No, no, no, no, no.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh, my god. Thank you.

Thank you so much for stopping.

You have no idea the night I've had tonight.

I was being held by these... These lunatics wearing masks.

And... and they tied me up to a chair and then they tortured me.

I cut myself... I cut myself when I was getting free.

Oh, my god, I'm bleeding a lot.

Um, but we gotta, uh, we gotta make... Can we get to a hospital?

'Cause, uh, 'cause... I don't know.

I've got this condition, you see, and...

Jesus... thank...

Oh, shit, I got blood on your seat.

I'm sorry. Um, do you have cell phone?

Al... Alex?

Alex! It's me.

Oh, my god! I can't believe this! What are you doing out here?

Never mind, never mind, that doesn't matter.

It's been so long. I'm so glad to see you.

I am so glad to see you.

Look, honey, look what they did to me.

Look what they did to me. You gotta help me.

You gotta get me far away. You gotta get me far, far away from here, okay?

We gotta... we gotta go to a hospital.

We gotta call the cops. We gotta call the cops.

Do you have a cell phone?

Alex?

Oh, no, no. No, no, you can't stop there.

You can't stop there because that's... that's the house.

That's where they are. That's where they were keeping me.

That's the... oh, no.

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Kip: What the fuck?

No, no! No, no!

No, no, no! Hey!

Get back here! Hey! Hey!

Fuck this.

Liam: Don't you touch me! Kip: Would you fucking help?

Damn it! Join a goddamn gym.

Help me, get his arm.

In the chair.

Sit up, Liam.

Rags, rags, rags!

Second box, second box!

Help me, Liam.

Please. The bleeding's not stopping.

Is there some sort of a situation you want to maybe enlighten me to?

Huh? Huh? Hemo...

I can't understand you, buddy. Speak up.

Come on. What?! What? Get over here.

Take his fucking jacket off!

What?! I think I know what he's trying to say.

What?! Fucking spit it out!

In the the car he mentioned he had a condition.

What kind of condition?

I think we need to get him to the hospital.

Fucking spit it out! Jesus Christ!

I think he's a hemophiliac! A what?

Okay, here it is.

Hemophilia is a group of hereditary genetic disorders that impair the body's ability to control blood clotting or coagulation, which is used to stop bleedage when a blood vessel is broken.

So great, he's not going to stop bleeding.

Didn't you know he was a hemophiliac?

Alex: No, I didn't.

Well, I thought since you two were so in love that's the kind of thing you would know.

I'm mean, it's kind of important, don't you think?

We need to get him to a hospital.

Fuck no.

We're not gonna make it to the hospital.

You know, he's not gonna tell if we save his life.

Like most recessive sex linked x chromosome disorders, hemophilia is more likely to occur in males than females.

What's the point? Get to the point.

How do we stop the bleeding?

We can't keep the tourniquets on all night, he'll lose circulation.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Okay, here.

To properly manage a severe cut without the proper medical assistance, disinfect, sterilize, and apply...

Super glue?

Do you guys have any super glue?

I guess it would be pretty bad for you if I died, huh?

A simple "thank you" would suffice.

You want me to thank you?

Uh, yeah.

A couple years from now, you're gonna be sitting on a beach somewhere laughing about this.

About which part?

The part where I nearly bled to death or the part where you shoved a poisonous rag down my throat?

First of all, you could be a little bit more appreciative that we responded as fast as we did.

And secondly, isn't it just a little bit irresponsible that you don't carry some sort of medicine on you for when shit like this happens?

It's at home. Where I was headed.

I didn't think I was gonna be getting kidnapped.

Kip: It didn't look like you were headed to me.

I need to get to a hospital.

You will. In the meantime...

Oh, sure, super glue.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a human being, not a fucking ceramic doll!

Ow. All right, all right!

Calm down! Stop your squirming.

Where's Alex? I want to talk to her.

Who are you, her boyfriend or something?

That bitch has been playing me this whole time, hasn't she?

There you go. Good as new.

I don't suppose since half my blood is on the floor I could get a bite to eat?

Alex: You were too busy gettin' high and having a good time.

And now he knows I'm involved.

Oh, come on, kiddo. Come on what?

We might as well let him go.

What?! No. Absolutely not.

We let him go and he knows who you are.

Or we walk out of here with two million dollars and he knows who you are.

But either way, he knows that we have those photographs of him, so it's not like he's gonna go to the cops.

You don't know that.

He said he doesn't care about his marriage.

Bullshit. He totally cares.

And even if he doesn't care, his father-in-law pays his salary.

I'm sure as shit he cares about that.

And then I spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.

He knows where we live.

He knows where you live.

He's got money. He knows people.

He had money.

And we can just get out of here.

We can go to Switzerland or Amsterdam.

Or, fuck, we can get a rail pass.

It doesn't matter. We will have the money.

That's not the fucking point!

He knows people, okay?

God, the plan is fucked. Oh!

It's not fucked. Do you need help?

No!


Oh, yeah. I got you now, huh?

Is that a nuke pocket?

I'm sitting here, I'm dying, and all you have for me is a nuke pocket?

Well...

How am I suppose to eat it?

Broccoli?

Alex, is that you?

Look, sorry, I'm sorry that I lied to you.

But...

I'm not the first guy on the planet to have an unhappy marriage, and I'm not the first guy to look for a way out.

Is this about the other women?

'Cause I barely knew them.

I didn't have any real connection with any of them.

Not like you. I... I swear.

Do you have to wear that mask? I know it's you.

Or are you too ashamed to face me?

Hmm? Is that it?

Look at me, you fucking bitch!

I'm looking at you, Liam!

I've been looking at you the whole time!

And now I see through you!

Through your three-bean layer of bullshit!

And I don't think you're sorry!

I don't think you know the meaning of the word, "sorry"!

Because when you open your mouth, it smells like shit! So keep it shut!

Kip: Jesus. Everything all right?

Is he dead? No, he's not dead.

Kip: So what's the fucking problem?

Forgot the reason why I was doing this in the first place.

It wasn't for the money.

This is gonna change things.

What good is any of this if he doesn't know that I'm the one fucking him in the ass?

Kip: Oh, god. Did I really need to know that?

Jane: This whole thing has turned into a bit of shit show, hasn't it?

Did you know he, uh, saved a kid's life once?

In Spain.

Who did?

Liam.

God, that's quite an accomplishment.

Even after we've told you what a compulsive liar he is, you still believe him.

I don't know, I just...

I don't think maybe he's as bad of a guy as you make him out to be.

With all due respect, Shelly, you met him for like 15 minutes.

I know, but...

Have you ever had a man tie you up in bed for two days?

Taking out all his twisted perversions on you?

Doing whatever he feels like with your body?

No.

Have you ever had a cigarette stamped out on you?

My god, Jane, I'm so sorry.

I don't need your fucking sympathy.

What about Alex? What about her?

Did he do that stuff to her?

How the fuck should I know? Why don't you ask her?

Man: There you go.

That's it. There you go.

Go back inside.

That's right.

Before you get cold.

Yeah.

Alex: Kip.

Kip: What?

I think there's somebody watching us.

Kip: Is that why you've been waiting by that window for 10 minutes like a creeper?

I don't see anybody.

Well, when I went to the bar there was a car parked down the street.

And when I came back, it was still there.

So?

So there's no other houses around here.

So maybe somebody had car trouble.

It wasn't there earlier.

Don't you find that kind of strange?

No!

Siamese twins strange.

People who don't like mustard are fucking strange.

That's a coincidence.

Well, it wouldn't hurt checking out.

How far is it?

Come on, kiddo.

Where is this thing?

I don't know. I was driving.

It seemed closer.

Wait. There it is.

Where?

Holy shit.

What? You said that there was a car, but you didn't say anything about it being a fucking chevelle.

Oh-ho-ho. Come on. Tell me I can hotwire this thing, please?

Please, please, please? Come on.

Yeah, totally. Let's add Grand Theft Auto to the list. That's fine.

Oh-ho-ho. Is that anyone in it?

Not at the moment.

Although, it does look like somebody lives in here.

Look at that fucking pigsty.

They could do worse, I mean, it is a chevelle.

Wait, wait. Here, look.

Alex: What is it?

It looks like camera equipment.

Still find this coincidental?

I'd love to say "I told you so," but this would not be the right time.

No, it wouldn't.

You like that? You like that? Kip, ow. Stop.

Hey, wait, wait. Here, look.

What? Fuck.

Ow. Window's open. Here.

Give me your hand. Do it.

Come on. Go, go, go.

Come on, come on, come on. Ow!

You got it, you got it.

Ow! Hold on! It's fine, it's fine.

You got it, you got it, you got it.

Jackpot.

Whoo. Okay, ow.

It smells like shit in here.

Here.

Got it? Yeah.

Okay, so, who carries this many cameras?

There's like...

Someone on a stakeout.

Oh, my god, kip...

These are pictures of us.

Hey, mister.

You gotta help me. You gotta get me outta here.

Listen...

Help me out of here, man, you don't understand.

I've been kidnapped by these crazy people.

I'm wounded really bad.

I'm wounded. I gotta get to a hospital.

Get me out. Get me out of here.

Listen, you gotta help me, man!

Help me!

Penis patrol on parade. Penis patrol on parade.

Recorder: Penis patrol on parade. Penis...

Shh.

Help is on the way.

Help me now!

Hey! Get down!

"Clive Lewis, private dick."

That's disgusting.

Get it?

It's like, you know...

A woman makes a joke about a man's penis being so small that she needs a magnifying glass to find it.

Well, this penis has a magnifying glass and he's looking for clues.

Do you actually get work with this?

Why don't you ask Liam's wife about that?

She hired me to follow him around.

So she knows.

She was suspicious of his fidelity.

And then I noticed you were doing your own investigating, so I became suspicious of you.

At first I thought, well, maybe she hired you, too, but, well, that didn't add up.

Why would she hire both of us, right?

Hey, hey, girly, there's a lot of expensive stuff in there.

Kip: What were you doing in the garage?

Well, I was going to untie him, set him free, be a hero.

The guy's loaded.

I thought that he'd give me a reward or something.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, sailor.

I barely know you.

Don't you don't carry a gun? No, I'm a pacifist.

That's someone who's strongly opposed to violence.

I know what a pacifist is.

I bet you wish you carried a gun now. Not really.

You just patted me down.

You would've found it and now you would have the gun.

I will admit, it is pretty brave of you to go charging into battle without one.

I told you, I'm a pacifist.

All right, so which is it? You can't be a hero and a pacifist.

Gandhi.

If you went in there to untie him, why isn't he untied?

Get in here!

Well?

There's a camera between the paint cans.

Is that it? Yeah.

There's no more? You're sure?

Yeah, there's another camera up above the blue bucket.

And a recorder next to the visor over there.

You're fucking scary in those masks, you know?

All right, you got me. Fair and square.

What's a guy to do, right?

You guys got a good thing going here.

Let me get this straight, clive.

After we blackmailed this asshole, then what?

You were just planning to blackmail us?

Is that it? Well, a guy's gotta eat, right?

It's very clever. I thought so.

Yeah, if it would have worked.

Obviously it didn't work out.

Look, I didn't put any more surveillance in, okay?

You know, do whatever you want. It's worth money.

Sell it, use it, I don't care.

I can always get more.

I'll just get out of your hair.

Not so fast, clive.

You're already in our hair.

You ever get gum in your hair, clive?

Actually, I have gotten bubble gum stuck in my hair.

Well, then you know. It gets sticky.

Well, I used peanut butter to get mine out.

Actually, I've heard that works.

So, um, I'm the gum, right?

Get the tape.

Get the tape!

The tape, the tape! Get the tape!

Sorry, clive, we're all out of peanut butter.

You're not taping me up, goddamn it.

Whoa! Jesus Christ, clive! Come here!

I thought you were a fucking pacifist. Well, I lied.

Now, here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna take the bitch and then you're gonna call me after you got the money from this guy, all right?

The number's on my card. Or what, huh?

Or you're never gonna see her again. I can promise you that.

Huh?

And what if I said, "ll don't care if I see her again," huh?

I'd say you're liar.

And then I say "I got pictures of you breaking into this guy's house that people might like to see after this is all said and done."

Kip: Bullshit. You hear that? He doesn't believe me.

Well, why don't you give me your address, asshole, and I'll send you copies in the mail?

Ah!

Alex: What the fuck did you just do?!


What the fuck?

I didn't mean to.

I... I swear.

I was trying to knock the saw away.

What was I supposed to do?

He had a saw to her goddamn throat.

Jesus, somebody fucking say something.

Come on!

It was an accident.

You were all there. I wasn't trying to kill him.

This woman's husband was in a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

So when he started to come to, he motioned to her and he said, "honey..."

She sat by him.

"You know, through all these bad times, you've been here with me.

When I got fired, you were there supporting me.

When I got shot, you were there by my side.

When I lost the house, you were there.

When my health started failing, you were there all through it...

You know what, dear?" He said.

"What, dear,” she replied gently.

I think you bring me bad luck,” he replied.

Kip: What does that even mean? So like I'm... I'm bad luck?

I'm fucking bad luck? Well, I'm just saying there's a lot of bad luck going on here and it reminded me of that little joke.

What? You told one of us to say something, so...

See, it's funny.

Well, don't worry, because Liam promised not to mention this to anyone.

So I'm in the clear.

Liam doesn't even know who clive is.

Was. Was.

Yeah... until he's watching TV or his wife is.

She's turns it on and the news comes on.

"Private detective missing."

The same private detective she hired to spy on her husband.

Kip: You might be on to something there.

Clive said that Liam's wife hired him, right?

So...

Let's say Liam finds out he's being followed, and then he discovers the pictures and he confronts clive.

And the two of them get into an argument...

And Liam killed clive with a garden tool.

Yeah, smart ass.

It's not perfect.

So that's your plan?

Frame Liam for murder?

All of the evidence points to him.

And it would certainly be in his best interest to keep his fucking mouth shut.

What about the body?

We gotta to get rid of it.

Car, too.

I'll do it, but somebody's gotta follow me.

Don't all jump at once, Jesus.

Fuck it, I'll go. No, no, you will not.

Last time you left, everything got all fucked up.

And you're obviously in no position to drive.

Shelly, you can follow me in my car.

She has done more than her part.

No, she hasn't.

You, stay. Shelly, my car now.

But... No, buts! No fucking buts!

Okay? Shelly, now!

This is totally fucked up.


Okay.

There is a dirt road aways down.

Maybe five miles.

Nobody goes down there.

We dump the body there and ditch the car somewhere else.

Just get close behind me and stay close.

The more distance between your car and mine, the easier it is for a cop to slip in between us.

Got it?

Yes.

All right.


Good. Stay with me.

Fuck.

Hey! Yo!

What's the deal, huh?

Shelly, come here.

Get out of the... Wait.

Fuck. No... Come here. Come here.

Get out of the car. Get out of the car, Shelly.

Get out of the car. Hey, hey.

Look at me. Listen to me.

Do I look scared? Huh? Huh?

Well, I should because I'm fucking scared, too, okay?

But us standing here in the middle of the road, in the middle of the night, that looks very, very bad.

So no matter how scared you are, I need you to get back in that car and to follow me, okay?

We're gonna be just fine, all right?

Oh, god! Get in the car!


Here.

What's that for?

We gotta smash his jaw.

What... why do we need to smash his jaw?

Dental records.

If somebody finds the body, it's going to take longer to identify him if he doesn't match his dental records.

Don't you watch any movies?

What's that for?

Fingerprints.


Oh...

I don't know if I can do this.

What, do you want to switch?


Was that good?

Don't you think you've had enough to drink?

Nope.

I hope he doesn't do anything to her.

What are you talking about? I'm talking about your brother coming back... alone.

You're drunk.

Yeah, but she's a witness, I'm a withess.

I mean, even you're a witness.

My brother killed clive on accident.

First time I took meth was an accident.

I thought it was crack.

And then I realized I was hooked and there was no going back.

How can you love him?

He's my brother. = no. Not him.

Jesus Christ, Jane. I see how you look at him.

Even after I told you about all that stuff that he did to me!

For all I know, you could have given yourself those scars.

What are you saying? I know Liam.

You don't know shit, Alex.

I mean, you still think he's the dog's bullocks after all this?

If that's the case, you deserve him.

All right, Jane, you can give it a rest now.

You're drunk. I am not drunk.

What does it matter? Yes, I love him.

Does that really fucking matter right now?!

He's in my garage bleeding to death and he knows I'm the one who put him there.

Why are you even asking me this?

Oh, I know why.

It's because you're fucking drunk.

Where's Shelly?

What the fuck did you do to Shelly?

Where is Shelly?

Shelly, are you okay?

Kip, what the fuck did you do to her?!


I'm sorry.

I didn't know any of this was gonna happen.

I tried going instead of you.


After I knocked his teeth out...

They all fell down his throat so I had to reach in and dig in them out...

One by one.

And all I could feel were his bones.

I'm so sorry, Shelly.

I was always your little dog, wasn't I?

Even in high school.

I finally made a life for myself.

It's not perfect, and you knew that and you took advantage of that.

I just want to get home to my daughter.

You will. I promise.


Get over here! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!

Get out!

Come on.

Get your fucking hands off me, you creep!

What happened? Oh, nothing.

I just caught your psychopathic little friend here trying to castrate our prisoner.

Oh, fuck off. I wasn't actually gonna do anything.

What? Okay, Jane, why don't we lie down, okay?

Fuck off. You can fuck off, too, I'm not tired.

Okay. I'm not tired!

Okay, I know.

Okay. I'm not... I'm not gonna lie down.

I'm not tired and it's bullshit. Okay.

It's just total bullshit. I know, it's total bullshit.

Okay, all right. What are you doing?

Fuck. I don't wanna lie down.

Okay, come on. I don't wanna lie down.

Okay, good night.

We'll call this one "clive."

"Clive, the idiot."

What are our options, kip?

Kip: Options?

More like option.

I mean, if the cops make the connection between Liam and clive, and you know they will, eventually your name is gonna come up.

If it comes down to a plea between murder and infidelity, you know which one Liam is gonna take.

Then you're exposed.

We don't have any options.

We have to kill him.

There's no other way?

There is, but...

Involves a whole lot of lying on your part.

Getting dragged down to the station somewhere.

Being detained.

Definitely interrogated by a detective.

That could lead to me.

I wouldn't rat you out.

No, I know you wouldn't, kiddo, but I have a rap sheet.

Any halfway decent detective is gonna put that together.

I'm gonna go bring him some blankets and check on him.

Remember, we have to keep him alive before we kill him.


Jane. Jane.

Jane. Jane, you have to wake up.

They're gonna kill Liam. Jane, wake up.

Wake up. Please, wake up.

You have to wake up, they're gonna kill Liam. Please, please, wake up.

Jane, wake up right now. Jane, come on.

Jane?


You look prettier without the mask.

The... the girl in the polka dots...

She was part of this whole plan, right?

Fucking polka dots.

And just a wild guess, the frog Princess, she's Jane.

I don't know what she told you about me, but...

She was always into the kinky shit.

How did you two ever get together?

You had it coming.

Hi, Shelly.

You doing okay?

Have a seat. Let me buy you a drink.

It started with a waitress I met out of town.

I was supposed to be pitching this, uh...

She took me back to her place and I, uh...

I just wanted to get even with Sara, my wife.

Ever since we had kids, she just stopped looking at me.

It just kinda turned into an urge.

Kip: You know, you were great back there.

With clive.

Not every girl has the stomach for that kind of thing.

But, you...

You got more, don't you?

Here...

And in here.

Thanks.

Who knows what we would have done without you?

He was a real whack job anyway, wasn't he?

Hmm.

You do say all the right things.

But you are full of shit.

I know you were gonna take the car.

Leave us.

Yeah.

I was.

But I wasn't gonna go to the cops or anything.

I just wanted to go home.

Oh, I don't, uh, I don't blame you.

You were just the bait.

But that would have stranded me without the car.

I know. I'm so... I'm so sorry.

I'm also really sorry about earlier.

You know, when we were driving.

What, you mean how you almost got us caught?

That, too.

But, no, I meant how you tried to kiss me.

Sorry, I just got really scared.

You can try again if you want to.

Liam: We're all just animals anyway, right?

Trying to live by rules.

Don't you think I know what's gonna happen after I make that phone call?

Al...

Alex, please.

You have to let me go.

I swear to fucking god I won't tell anybody.

Look at the condition I'm in.

Alex: You know the plan.

That guy's got other plans.

Like what?

Taking me out for ice cream.

What do you think?

You're being paranoid, so...

You're not a killer, Alex.


Yeah? Yeah?

Yeah.


Yeah, you like that?

Come here.

Oh, yeah? Oh, you are a kinky bitch.

I'm dying here, Alex.

The super glue's not gonna hold.

There's just too much blood.

Okay...

Can you walk?

Don't fuck with me. Can you walk?

I don't know. Well, I can't carry you.

Yes, I'll try.

You're gonna have to untie me first.

Oh, my god, Alex, thank you.

You're not gonna regret this.

Wait.

Hold on, I'll be right back.

No, no. No, wait. Where...

Cut the fucking tape first.

Kip! Kip!

What the fuck?

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Where are your keys? Where are the keys?

Okay...

Damn it. Fuck.

Shelly! Shelly! Shelly!

Shelly, wait!

Oh, fuck.

Okay, if we cut through the woods, there's a gas station about a mile on the other side.

We're going to have to walk, okay?

But I'll help you get there, okay? Okay.

I knew you weren't a killer.

Okay, let's get a few things straight here.

As far as you're concerned, I'm just a fling you had and nothing else.

You woke up in some shack and managed to escape.

In the middle of the woods, you don't know where.

Okay.

Remember, I still have all those pictures.

Yeah, yeah. And from time to time, I'm gonna... I'm gonna check up on you to make sure you're being honest with your wife.

No more of this sleeping around shit.

Yeah. You've got a family.

Don't be an asshole. You're absolutely right.

Okay, okay.

Don't bullshit me.

I'm not, I'm honest. I'll be honest.

Okay. Okay.

I'm saving your fucking life.

I was... I was falling in love with you, you PR... prick.

Fuck. Come on.

Easy, easy. Liam, come on.

Oh, shit, I don't think I can walk. What do we have here?

Kip, thank god you're here.

I tried waking you up. Things have changed.

He's bleeding and we have to get him to a hospital.

Yeah, in case you didn't notice, the car's fucking gone!

He's... he's not... he's not gonna make it till 7:00.

It's two hours! What, you can't wait two hours to die?

I'm fucking serious! Give me a fucking hand!

I will not give you a hand 'cause he is not going anywhere!

Listen to me.

I'm bleeding to death, you fucking idiot.

Shut the fuck up, Liam!

You might as well kill me right now

'cause I'm not giving you any of my fucking money.

Do you still love him?

You do. Say it.

You... you were gonna cut him free.

You were gonna run and save your own ass.

And, what, leave me?

I wasn't gonna save my own ass.

You... you'd be fine.

I mean, you're clean.

You haven't killed anybody.

But me? Me they're gonna fry.

Is that what you want? No, of course not.

Is that what you want? You want them to fucking kill me?

No! I...

Come here. Come here. Come here. What are you doing?

Give me your hands! Come here! Come here! Get over here!

Get down. Get the fuck down.

Put your hands behind you. Behind you!

Kip, what are you doing? Okay.

Shut up and listen, okay?

I know you hate me right now. Kip, seriously?

You have to trust me, okay?

Liam is not gonna make it!

This was part of the plan.

Hey.

Trust me, we can still get out of this thing.

I know you hate me right now, but I need you to trust me, all right?

Just trust me.

How we doing, buddy? What do you think?

A little more super glue for your boo-boos, huh?

Can you stand? What do you say?

Want a little bit more of this? Come here.

Alex: Kip? Kip?

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, it hurts. Fuck!

Liam, what did you just do to my brother?!

Kip?

Kip! Kip! You're bleeding.

Kip: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Try... try super glue.

It works wonders...

Asshole.

That looks bad.

I think your brother's gonna die.

Alex: So that's it, huh?

You want me to untie you?

I untied... I untied you.

You also tied me up.

You're not gonna make it without me.

I just gotta make it to the house.

I take it there's a phone in there.

If you use the phone, then I'll go to jail.

Please. Probably for a real long time.

I was gonna let you go.

You were gonna let me walk a mile to a gas station.

Does it look like I can walk a fucking mile?

Liam, please untie me...

Right fucking now!

Liam!

Kip, kip, wake up!

Kip, untie me, please!

Untie me, kip!

Fuck!

Liam!

Liam, untie me! Liam!

Liam!

Untie me, please! Untie me, kip!

Fuck!