The Bag Man (2014) Script

You want to tell me what this is all about?

I mean, if you want me to protect this, don't you want me to know what it is?

No, I don't. Okay.

Can I ask you a question? Go ahead.

In all due respect, why don't you just hire the FedEx?

Because I'm hiring you, Jack.

You want me to pick up this bag and bring it to you, and that's it?

I want to pay you an exorbitant amount of money to get the bag and bring it to me.

I don't get it. Why me?

Jesus Christ. Look.

This is me.

This is you.

This is the money.

This is the bag.

You go and get the bag.

And now, Jack, this is vitally important.

You do not look in this bag. You do not open this bag.

You don't even take a little peek in this bag.

The contents of this bag are off-limits.


Okay, I get it.

And you bring this bag to me.

And I give you the money.


Yeah, hello.

How'd it go?

Your man, Bishop, tried to kill me.

Regardless, we stick to the plan.

What do you mean, "We stick to the plan"?

I'm telling you your man tried to whack me and you're telling me you still want me to go to this shitty motel in the middle of nowhere and sit around and wait for you all night?

Oh, yes.

How do I know there's not somebody else waiting for me at the motel?

Jack, calm down.

I'm calm... I'm calling you from a payphone because he shot the fucking cell phone out of my hand.

He put a fucking bullet in my hand...

You didn't look in the bag, did you?

No, I didn't look in the bag.

You stick to the plan.

Yes. We stick to the plan. Room 13.

Room 13.

Bishop, let's go.

You couldn't stick to the plan, could you?

No! You shoot a guy in the hand.

Come on.

Can I help you?

Yeah. I need a room, please.


How long you'll be staying?

One night.

Just for one night? Okay. Yeah.

I'll need you to fill this out.

And I need to see a credit card.

I'll be paying in cash.

Excuse me?

I said, "I'll be paying in cash."


I need you to fill out this card and that'll be $65 plus tax.

What happened?

What? Your hand is bleeding.


I got into a fight with my wife.

She stabbed me with a steak knife. She lunged at me.

Maybe you should go to a hospital and get that looked at.

No, I'm fine.

I can call 'em if you'd like.

No, it's all right. That's not necessary.

It could be infected. It's not.

Might be infected and not even know.

I said, "It's fine." Please.

Fill out this card.

And this one, too. Both of them.

You're Bob Smith. Yeah.

From Pittsburgh? Mmm-hmm.

You're gonna be in room number 6.

I want room 13, please.

13? Yeah.

Not many people ask for room 13.

So it's available, yeah?

Was you asked to ask for that number?

Asked to ask?

Were you? I'm asking you.

Room 13.

It's my lucky number. I'm a contrarian, you know?

You're either a contrarian or you're a victim.

You'll be in room number 13.

That's not an interconnecting room.


You can't go from one room to the next without going outside of the door.

Is that all right with you? I don't give a fuck.

All right! You'll be in room number 13. You can drive on down there.

Park by it if you'd like.


Excuse me.

The phone in my room is dead.

The line is dead.

Oh, that's because it's not turned on.

Could you turn it on, please?

Well, in order for me to turn on the phone or any incidentals, I'll need an impression of a major credit card.

I'll give you cash.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to see a credit card.

I just told you I'll give you some cash.

If you want to let me charge you for the telephone calls I'm going to need to get an impression of a credit card.

Even if you wanted to get extra towels, I'm going to need to see that card.

I don't have a credit card.

Here's another $100.

That's $400 cash.

Here's another. Here's another $100.

Turn the phone on for me?

I can take the cash.


Seeing as that you don't have a credit card.

And if you can just wait a minute, I will write you a receipt and then I can turn on the phone.

You let me know if there's any trouble with the line because we just had some work done on it.

I don't know why. It seemed okay to me.

They said otherwise the whole place could go up in smoke.

That's what they said.

Your hand feeling any better? Yes.

That's good.

Is there anything else that I can do to help you this evening?


Have a good night.

Hey, man.

Got a match?


Why not?

Why don't you have a match?



That's fine.

Yeah, that's fine. I'll be waiting.

Sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you had a corkscrew I could borrow.


Sorry to disturb you.

I said, "Wait here, bitch, till I get back."

How long are we going to stay in this place?

Until I do what I got to do!

I don't wanna be a part of this.

Shut your mouth and get your ass in there. I said I got business. Now, go!

To tell you the truth, Janet, I'm more annoyed at myself than I am at you.

I like to think of myself as being a reasonably savvy person who can appraise the value, the fabric if you will, of the people who work for me.

Jesus Christ!

You'd think I'd have a goddamn notepad in this office, wouldn't ya?

Dragna, it was a mistake.

You know something? I don't like surprises. I never did.

I never really enjoyed that whole Pop Goes The Wease lthing.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I appreciate the unexpected.

And, in fact, I'd say I'm a connoisseur of the unexpected.

But I don't like surprises.

Do you understand the distinction I'm making here?


But I don't think you understand what I'm saying. I don't...



Dragna, I'm not a currency trader.

You asked me to sit in front of the screen because Melinda was out with the flu.

Do you know how hard it is to get a mole in the Bank of Japan?

Even the yakuza couldn't do it. And you know why?

Because they're savages.

I can't find a pen in this office. Everybody was yelling.

I got confused. I pressed the buy button instead of the sell button.

Just before the Bank of Japan flooded the market with Yen to weaken their currency.


The name I just wrote, go see that guy.

He's the best plastic surgeon in New York.

And you could pick any nose you want.

Your old one.

Audrey Hepburn, Beyonce, Barbra Streisand.

Whatever the hell you want.

My plane's here so I'm off.

Janet, no more surprises, okay?

Hi. Could I stay here for a while? Please! Just until they leave.

Get up.

I said, "Get up"!

Please, I can't go out there.

Get out. He's crazy. He'll kill me.

Are you deaf? Get out!

They're out of their minds. Him and that midget.

Move. Move.

Please, mister, I can't go out there.

They're going to fucking kill me. Please.

What if I told them what's under your bed?

What did you say?

What if I told them what's under your bed?

Did you look in that bag?

No, I did not.

Bullshit! What do you want?

I just want to stay here until they leave, okay?

Who do you work for?

I don't know what you're talking about. You think I'm stupid?


Hold on a minute.

Get up. Go in the bathroom.

Okay. Look, I'm going.


So you're still in room 13?

Listen, Dragna, I just wasted two more of your guys.

Why do you think they were my guys? - Feds on the payroll maybe.

They were the only wine connoisseurs within 100 miles and what were they doing up my ass?

Seems like you should be on Prozac.

No, I don't need Prozac.

Or AndroGel.

I need my goddamn money.

I need my goddamn money right now.

I need what you owe me.


You could knock, you know?

Thank you.

Could I have a shot of that?


So what are you going to do?

About what?

Sounds like you're in trouble.

Maybe I can help.

Go sit down over there.

Well, anyway, I just want to thank you for letting me stay here.

Hey. I'm not doing you any favors, okay?

You're staying in here 'cause you put your nose in my business where it does not belong.

And now I don't want you leaving until I leave this place.

Do you understand?

What the fuck were you doing coming in here looking through my shit anyway?

I didn't come in here to look through your shit.

Well, what were you doing in here, then?

I told you.

He was going to kill me.

Well, that's not my problem.

I know it's my problem. I'm sorry.

To be truthful, I did look inside your briefcase.

What the fuck?

There was only an envelope. Okay.

Get it out! Show me!

Did you look inside this bag?

No, I told you already.

Did you look inside this bag? No.

Why the fuck should I believe you?

Are you all right?

I can help you if you want.

Get out, bitch!

Bring your ass out here!

You fucking skank!

Where are you?

I'm not playing these games with you.

What happened? I got shot.

In the hand? Yeah.

Why? Because I'm lucky like that.

Did they miss your heart or they couldn't find it?

A little trick I learned on the streets.

What street?

Take a deep breath.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

You must be great at fucking parties, huh?

There's no sign of her.

This is bullshit!

I don't know what crazy shit she gonna pull next.

I got solutions. Cruel and permanent ones.

Don't always think about with your dick.

I think that's them. You think?

I'm looking for a girl. A tall girl. You seen a girl around here?

No, I didn't see anybody.

About 6-foot walking around looking like Wonder Woman, and shit.

You sure you haven't seen her?

I just told you. I didn't see anybody.

You couldn't miss her. She's so tall.

Legs so long they go up and make an ass of themselves.

But you wouldn't know nothin' about that, would you?

No, I wouldn't.

No, you wouldn't?

No. Hmm.

Yo, that slut ain't anywhere.

Hold up.

Let me ask you a question.

If you could fuck one woman in history, who would it be?


I'd fuck Eve and I'd make Adam watch.

Flip his bitch over, fuck her in the ass right in the Garden of Eden.

What's the matter? You don't like no pussy from the Bible?

Come on, man.

So now what?

Now what, what?

What do we do now? What's our plan?

Our plan? What the fuck are you talking about?

Maybe I should just grab my bag.

I told you. You ain't going nowhere. Just sit down and be quiet.

In here or the bathroom?

Whatever you want. I don't care.

How'd you get, I don't know, involved with those two circus freaks?

I met Lizard in a strip bar.

Which one's Lizard?

The one with the eye patch.

Oh. Are you a stripper?


Well, not anymore. I stopped.

It was just like, a part-time job.

What are you now? A schoolteacher, a superhero?

You mean for work? Because I'm kind of between jobs right now.

Of course you are.

Yeah. I'm trying to find my true passion.

How old are you?

How old do you want me to be? I don't give a fuck, sweetheart.

Twenty. Bullshit!

All right, so how'd you end up here?

I'm from Israel, originally.

I'm not asking for your entire life history... What do you mean, "Israel"?

You don't sound like you're from Israel. Yeah, but I like Israel.

But you're not from there.

Doesn't matter. I like Israel.

I love Israel.

All right. Um... Just do me a favor.

Tell me where you were directly before you were here?


And why here?

Because this is where the motherfucker stopped.

Who's the Russian by the way?

That's Lizard's connection.

Connection for what?

Could I have a shot of that?


Connection for what?

Can I have a glass, please?

Connection for what?

Crystal meth.

You're dealing?

I'm not dealing anything.

Is that what you're on right now? I'm not on anything.

You seem like you're on something. You seem like you're on something!

Go in the bathroom. Why can't I stay out here?

Because I want you in the bathroom.

Go in there and close the door right now, please.

Lock the door.


Where are you?

Where do you think I am, Harvey? You called me.

Room 13? Yeah.

Room 13.

Do you want me to ask you what he asked me to ask you?

Yes. I want you to ask me what he asked you to ask me.

You have a Kindle or an iPad?

No, I don't have a Kindle or an iPad.

Have you read Hermann Hesse?

Who's Hermann Hesse?

I'm not a library, Jack.

When is he coming here?

When he shows.

Just tell me when the fuck he's going to be here, man!

When he shows for crying out loud!

Get out here.

It would have been easy if I had just stayed out here.

Okay, things have changed, and you're free to go.

I won't go very far with those two outside.



Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take you to a bus station, I'm gonna give you some money, I'm gonna put you on a bus, all right?

When? Right now.


What do you mean, "Why?" You want to go or not?


You don't want to get out of here? You don't want to go home?

I have no reason to.

Well, tough shit. You got to go.

Why do you want me to go?

Don't ask stupid questions.


So, is Dragna coming to pick up the bag?

Hey! You don't mention his name.

All right? You don't even think his fucking name!

Forget you know anything about this shit. Do you understand?

How can I forget something I already know?

Listen, I'm going to drive you to that bus station, get you on that bus.

You're gonna forget you know anything about this shit.

Do you understand? Yeah.

So what kind of trouble are you in?

Why are you so nosy?

Why? I'm just curious.

No, seriously, why would you do that? Why are you like that?

'Cause I'm just trying to have a civilized conversation.

No, you're not. Why are you so nosy?

I'm curious.

You know what that did to the cat.

So what's up with the blood in your car?

All over the backseat.

It's from my hand, yeah.

It's not from your hand.

Hey, what did I just tell you? What?

About minding your own fucking business?

I am. There's blood all over your car. I'm sorry, I can't...

You know what? Let me tell you something.

Maybe there's gonna be more fucking blood in this car if you don't shut your hole and mind your own fucking business.

It's none of your goddamn business.

Well, I'm sorry for trying to help.

Hey, just do me a favor, okay? Don't help.

Can I ask you something?

You wanna ask me something, or everything under the sun?

Why are you doing this?

Why am I doing what? Helping me?

I'm not helping you. I am not helping you.

I'm getting you out of the way.

However you want to look at it, you're helping me.

Whatever makes you happy.

Stop being a dick would make me happy.

Okay. You know what?

Get out of the car.

What the fuck is your problem?

Get out of the fucking car, okay? Get out!

All right!

Fucking asshole. Here.

There. Bus stop's a few miles away. Good luck.

Fucking asshole. Bye-bye.

Get in the car.

Get in the fucking car. No.

Yes. Get in the fuckin... No. No.

Come on!

Ow! Fuck!

So who is that, huh?

Is he a friend of, you know, the person I can't say?

Is that the guy who shot you?

Why are you so curious, huh? It's gonna get you killed one day.

Oh... Fucking... You're pathetic.

What kind of idiot puts a body in a trunk that can't close?

Shut up.

Shot in the head, huh? What did he do?


We're fixing the tire. Bend down. Bend down.

We're fixing the tire. Bend down.

We can't just leave him in the trunk. We have to get rid of it.

Shut up.

There's five gallons of blood in your back seat.

Somebody's going to see it and call the police.

Shut the fuck up.


What the hell is this?

What, are you deaf? I asked you a question.

What the hell is this? And you are?

That's what you get for messing with my woman.

I'm not your woman.

You shut your hole up.

Pop him, man.

Bobby, no.

I said, "Shut up."

I was hitching a ride and he pulled over. He was just giving me a lift.

He was giving you a lift? Yeah, I bet he was giving you a lift.

Are you fucking crazy? Bitch, I wanna... I swear to God!

Fuck it. I'll pop him.

And afterwards, carry his body into the woods and hide it.

You carry him.

No, I'll shoot him. I'll shoot him.

I'll shoot him. Then you carry him.

I should shoot your little munchkin ass, too.

Then you'd only have more to carry.

Yeah, screw this, man. Let's get out of here, man.

Too much fucking trouble.

Get your ass up. Get up. Get over here.

Are you crazy? I'm not playing with you!


Pull up.

Come here. I got it. I got it.

I'm gonna get the bag.

Hold still. Hell's wrong with you?

And I'm not Russian. I'm Serbian-Roma, you fuck.

Come on, man, let's go.

I pissed on his fucking head.

Shit, man. Where's the goddamn keys at?

Motherfuck. Wanna be a freaking idiot?

Yeah. I got your idiom.


Hey. Hey. Curious cat.

You all right?




Oh, shit!

Thank you.

Mr. Smith? Fuck.

Just hold that there.

Who is it?

It's me, Mr. Smith.

What do you want?

Have you got a woman in there with you?



Mr. Smith.

What do you want?

'Cause if you have a woman in there with you, I have to charge you $20 extra for double occupancy.

I don't have a woman in here.

I'm just saying, if you do have a woman in there with you...

Well, I don't.

I'm just saying, if there was someone in there with you...

I don't have one in here.

Now, listen to me.

I wanna go to sleep now because I'm very tired, okay?

Good night. Good night.

Good night.

Don't fall asleep.

Hey. Stay awake.

I am awake.

Oh, fuck.

Quick. There was a candle in here somewhere, wasn't there?

Yeah. It's on top of the cabinet.

Are you okay to move?

Move where?

Listen, Kitty Cat. Don't ask questions. Are you okay to move or not?



Look, even if you're not okay to move, you're gonna go.

Can you sit up?

I mean...

I don't understand.

One minute you're all worried about if I'm all right.

The next minute you're kicking me out?

What are you, schizo?

You sound like my ex.

Let's go.

Is it all right if I use the bathroom before I go, master?

Jesus Christ.



I got this from Lizard's car.

It's the same picture as the other one.

That much I know.

So we know as much as each other.

Perhaps you know more.

I've been thinking, perhaps you know a lot more.

Mr. Smith. I'm Sheriff Larson, this is Deputy Pike.



Is there a problem, Sheriff?

Yes, there is a problem.

Two men and a girl were staying in room 10.

We found the two men down the road. Very dead.

On the interstate?

No. Down the road. I was wondering if you'd seen anything unusual around here tonight.

No, I didn't. Mmm.

We're looking for the girl. She's tall, attractive, in her 20s.

Didn't happen to see her around here tonight, did you? No, I didn't.

No? No.

Well, that's funny.

'Cause someone said they thought they saw you and a girl getting in your car earlier tonight.

Who told you that?

Who were you speaking to before?

I was on the phone, with my wife.

I heard you got into a little trouble tonight, Mr. Smith.

Excuse me?

With your wife. She stabbed you.

Yes. It's nothing serious.

Where you from, Mr. Smith? Pittsburgh.

What brings you here?

I'm just passing through.

Passing through? Yeah.

You drive 300 miles with a stab wound.

I find that odd, Mr. Smith. Don't you?

Not if you know my wife.

You're traveling light, Mr. Smith. No credit cards.

But you didn't forget your cash, did you?

I carry my money separate. In a rubber band.

What is it that you do in Pittsburgh, Mr. Smith?

I work for the city.

What's with the third degree here?

I mean, I told you I didn't see anybody.

When do you plan on leaving?

Ask him.

Ask him. He knows everything.

He knows everything about me. Ned.

How long is he staying?

Just for the night.

See? Just for the night?

That's what he said.

Yeah. Gonna go back in the morning and patch things up with my wife.

That's it.

You know, Bob's your uncle. Mmm-hmm.

Well, good night, Mr. Smith. All right.

Get that hand seen to.

Yeah. It's fine. Thank you, sir.


Hey, you.

Mr. Smith.

What the fuck do you think you're doing?

What do you mean?

Where do you get off telling them my life story?

It's my civic duty. I've known the sheriff for a long time.

Listen to me, you little rodent.

You're gonna keep your mouth shut.

Now, you back to your office and you mind your own goddamn business.

Do you understand me?

Don't touch my wheelchair.

You shouldn't have done that, Mr. Smith.

No one touches my wheelchair.

It belongs to my dead mother.

Hey. Wake up. Wake up.

I'm okay.

Put that on your head.

Just got dizzy there for a minute.

Keep the ice on your head.

I'm fine, okay? I said, keep it on your head.

I'm fine.

Put it up there.

God, is that why she left you?

Who? Your ex?

My ex died.

I know what it's like to lose someone.

Do you? Yeah.

What's your name? Mine is Rivka.

My name is Jack.

Were you married?

We were going to.

We were going to be married.

She got murdered.

She didn't want me to do certain things, and I had to do certain things for money.

And we got into a fight about it and she stormed out.

I had to go do this thing. While I was away...

She got killed.

Sorry. That's awful.

You can chill out here for a little while longer, then you gotta get up and go.

Tell me about Dragna.

Why don't you tell me about him?

I don't know anything about him.

No? No.

You wanna talk about this?

Anything you wanna tell me?

I'm gonna ask you one more time.

I'm gonna give you a chance to answer honestly.

Did you look in that bag?

Don't have to look in the bag of allegiance to know that it's worth more than what you're getting.

I'm gonna go out. Lock the door behind me.

What happens if he knocks on the door?

Believe me, Dragna doesn't knock on doors.

Where you going?

What are you doing there, Mr. Smith?


He walks.

It's a remarkable recovery.

I think it's best that you just dig that up and you throw that over here.

I said, "Start digging"!

You see, I heard you on the phone. I know what's going on.

It's not what you think.

No, it's not what you think!


You see, what you don't know is that man, he's been here before.

What man? Who?

On the phone!

It's been years, but that voice I'll never forget and what he done here before.

You don't know what you're getting into, man.

Oh, that's funny, because that's what I was just about to say to you.

Can you stop shining that light in my eyes? I can't see what I'm digging.

You just keep digging. Okay, okay.

I don't owe him nothing this time. Okay. Okay.

You understand? Yeah, yeah.

You get that out of the hole. Okay. Okay.

That's good. Put it down right there.

Move back away. Go on. Move away.

Get back over there. Okay.


Ow! Ow!


Damn it.


Come on, Kitty. We're going, Kitty.

What's going on?

Who is it?

Sheriff Larson.

Did I wake you, Mr. Smith?

No, I was just lying down.

Unlock the door, please.

Hmm. Did she drive all the way out here and stab you again?

No, no, it just started bleeding again.

You should get that checked out.

It's fine.

You haven't seen Mr. Stenson around, have you?


The manager of the hotel.

No. That's funny.

We've been looking everywhere for him, we can't find him.

But his car's parked out front.

Oh, maybe he's skulking around, doing wheelies or something.

I don't know.


When are you leaving, Mr. Smith?


In the morning.

In the morning?


Back to Pittsburgh?



Gotta go patch things up with my wife.


I realized I probably brought this on myself.

It's my fault.

Well, well, well.

What do we have here?


My wife's.

Your wife's?

And this?

I don't know, it was in the room when I got here.


A Gideon Bible and a shovel in every room.

You're under arrest, Mr. Smith.

Something's come to light since our last meeting.

What the fuck?


Now, will you give me a reason to break your skull?

I challenge you to a battle of wits but you'll be unarmed.

Nice, Jones.

Okay, boys, you know what to do.

Why? Why am I here?

Target practice, Mr. Smith.

Where did you bury it, Mr. Smith?

Bury what?

The bag, Mr. Smith. The bag.

What bag?

There's two ways this can work.

I can beat you to death, or two, you can tell me where you put it.

Just because it's inevitable doesn't mean it's imminent, Mr. Smith.

I have all night. My shift doesn't finish till 7:00.

We have a long, long way to go.

Chief. I got your wife on the phone.

Why did you tell her I was here?

What was I supposed to say? That I'm not here.


Macadamia Chocolate crunch. That's...

I don't like Chunky Monkey.



Can I help you?

I think you're looking for me. I'm the girl from the motel.


You were with those two in the car?

Yeah, that's me.

Who you looking for?

I'm not looking for anyone.

Is that right? Mmm.

Come with me. It's okay.

You know him?


Now, what have we got in here, huh? What do we have in here?


I don't know this bitch. She's got nothing to do with me.

Looks like we have a bad girl. Bad girls need to be punished.

Deputy Pike. Deputy Pike.

Check her good.

Coke whores will hide it just about anywhere.

Get in here.

Check every spot. Every hole.

Come on, get in here.

Hey, stupid bitch. Yeah.


Hold her. Grab her hands.

Look what we got here.

Well, well, well.

Looks like she intended to hurt you, Deputy Pike.

Make sure she doesn't have a shotgun up her ass.

Oh, let's check.

Mr. Smith.

Thought these were yours, Mr. Smith.

Oh, Christ.

But we do know they're panties, don't we?

I'll tell you what you wanna know.

Where is it?

It's at the motel.

Where at the motel?

It's too dark. It's impossible to find.

I had to walk through the forest.

Just tell me where it is. I'll take you right there.

I gotta walk you there.

If this is some kind of wild goose chase we will take liberties with this girl.

I'll take you right to it.

Deputy Pike, you look after Miss Pretty.


Jones, come with me.


I'll grab the car.

Get up.

Do you have any idea what I'm gonna do to you if they don't come back with that bag?





Sheriff. Get in here.


Keys. I can't find them.


Ahh! Pike!

You all right?

Yeah. It's not deep.

That's a lot of bodies to leave lying around.

You'd rather we put 'em in the trunk?

Please, the trunk that never closes?

Before I speak, is there anything else in here I should know about?

What do you mean?

Guns, knives, dynamite, uranium, nunchucks?

Amazing what a curious kitty can find just lying around your average motel room.

Guns, bodies...

I wouldn't like to be your neighbor.

Playing the TV too loud were they?

Oh, TV! You're in the movie now, starring role.

Oh, I know.

No. I don't think you do.

We just killed three cops.

They were ready to take us God knows where and dump our bodies.

Even if you would've dug it up, he still would've killed you!

What do you mean, "Dug it up"?

I mean, if you would've given him the bag, you know...

How would they know I buried it?

Well, when you walked in with a shovel, I didn't think you were doing some late-night gardening behind the motel.

Well, how do you know it was behind the motel?

Fine, you buried it in front of the motel.

I swear to God, if that bag isn't there, I will dig a hole and I will bury you in the woods.

I didn't have to come for you.

I could've taken that bag and left you there, and they would've killed you and they never would've found me.

I got shot saving you!

You're an idiot, you know that?


Yes, you are.

I'll drive.

Look for the keys.


All right, let's shoot these handcuffs off.

I like hearing that.

Come on.


I got it.


Is this how your hand got shot?

If you shoot me in the hand, I'll fucking kill you.

You shouldn't threaten a person pointing a gun at you.

All right. Right. Go right to the chain.

What if I miss?

You're not gonna shoot me from Texas.

Just come right up to the chain, okay?


No, no, down lower, lower. Don't point it at my fucking hand.

Right there. You ready? Yeah.

Count of three. Yeah, I think you're on the chain.



That's a hit!

No, no, no. That's a miss.

Thank you.

Seems like a waste of a perfectly good pair of handcuffs to me.

Another time, another place.

Where are you going?

I was thinking.


Let's get out of here.

Take that bag with us?


Where do you want to go?

You name it.

That's cute.



You're out of your mind. Come on, you gotta go.

Where the hell am I going to go?

You... How the hell should I know where you go?

You go home.

I don't wanna go home. I wanna stay.

Everything is so...

Every time I try to do something...

I mean, I don't even give a damn anymore.

But I mean...

Someone like you.

Someone like me what?

Someone like you... I mean...

I can feel you.

What the fuck are you talking about?

You know, like I know you.

You don't know Jack.


I don't know if he's coming to take the bag and kill me.

I don't know if he's coming to take the bag and pay me.

I don't know if he's coming by himself or he's coming with a whole fucking army.

You gotta go.

It's impossible.

I made a deal.

Well, I guess that's that.

Maybe we'll run into each other someday.

Yeah, maybe.

Kitty Cat's gotta go her own way.

Cats are amazing animals though.

Survive all sorts of terrible shit, they always land up on their feet.

Not always.



Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.

Shit. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on, come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Why are we hiding?

We're just gonna take a minute to think.

How about that for an entrance?

Lucky there are interconnecting rooms.

Put the pistol on the bed.

Make him comfortable.


You too.

Tell me something, Jack, I always thought that the number 13 had a one and then a three right after it.

But, you know, it's been a while since grade school, so, you know, I could have that wrong.

We have a problem, Jack?


Because when I tell you to wait in room 13 and I see you waiting in room 14, it makes me ponder, "Why would Jack go into room 14

"when I explicitly told him to go into room 13?"

I mean that's exceedingly specific, is it not?

I know you can count because you're an eminently intelligent person, so I know it can't be any sort of cognitive issue.

So what is it?

I muse upon this and I start to think, "Well, there must be a problem."

There's no problem. I got the bag. I just want...

No, there is a problem, Jack.

Distrust is a disease that kills a friendship.

When you sneak into room 14 after I specifically told you room 13, that's because you clearly don't trust me, Jack.

That's a problem. When I see that you're starting to lose your trust in me, Jack, then I, reciprocally, start to lose my trust in you.

I start to think, "Maybe I can't trust this Jack."

I don't mean disrespect or anything, but how am I supposed to trust you?

You send Bishop out after me.

He tries to kill me. He ends up shooting me in the hand...

Well, frankly, I never really cared much for Bishop.

What about those two cartoon Feds next door?

With the silencers, they were stalking deer?

Jack, come on. If I wanted you dead, we wouldn't even be talking right now. You know that.

But I have to admit, you're a one-man demolition crew.

I've owned this motel, the Sheriff and everything within miles for years.

It's been the favorite place for drop offs, you name it.

But I am impressed.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

You certainly raised the bar.

I hear I even lost my Russian dwarf.

He was Serbian-Roma.

Did you ever get a chance to take a look at that Hermann Hesse novel I recommended, Magister Ludi?

I just want my money, get out of here.

Can I give you a little bit of advice, Jack?


If you took one-tenth of the time you spend on killing people and devoted it to reading a book now and then, I really think you would derive great benefit. Don't you?

I just want my goddamn money. That's it.

Jack, you're not gonna introduce me to your friend here?

She's not a part of this.

Oh, yes, she is a part of it.

You have a whore sitting here in the middle of our business, you made her a part of it, Jack.

You know what "Magister Ludi"means, Jack?

Master of the game.

Master of the game!

Would it surprise you if you found out that this hot Tic Tac here worked for me?

Possible, right?

I mean, come on, dude.

You check into a motel in the middle of nowhere, and you just happen to meet this six-foot, weapons-proficient stripper with aspirations to teach second-grade in Kansas.

What are the odds on that?

I mean, I guess it could happen. I met my wife at a fucking Staples.

Listen to me.

What's really happened here, huh?

Nothing. Nothing. It's a business transaction.

I did everything you asked me to do.

I'm sitting here in this goddamn motel.

I'm going out of my mind in this goddamn motel.

And all I want to do is get my money.

Tell me the truth.

Did you look inside the bag?

We had a deal. No.

Anybody see it?


You show it to anybody?


How about your girlfriend here? She sneak a little peek inside?


Death is inside that bag.

Did Jack tell you that?


We had an agreement. I kept my end of the bargain.

You either believe me or you don't.

Trust, the foundation of friendship.

No, I trust you.


The bag, Jack, where's the bag?

Under the bed. That's just genius.


On the bed.


I wish I could share this with you, Jack. I do.

But as fate would have it, I just can't.

I want you to know something.

All this, everything, was a test, Jack, to test you.

To test our friendship.

I have a job.

It's more than a job, it's a life changer.

I need one man, just one special man.

With your cut, you can buy your own private island and you can fly there in your own Boeing Business Jet.

I told you not to look in the bag and you didn't.

You kept your word. You passed.

I am so proud of you.

This Pavlovian loyalty of yours is really kind of mind-boggling.

You're a total throwback.

I mean, you're like some blacksmith in colonial Williamsburg.

You're like an aborigine with a boomerang hunting in the diorama of some natural history museum. Unbelievable.

How do you know I'm not lying? Oh, I know.

Trust me. It would be all over your face.

There's money and very, very important instructions in that satchel.


Do you believe me? Sure.

You wanna count it? Of course not.

Now we have trust again, as I would have predicted.

You know, when you're aware, Jack, of someone's tropisms, you can predict what directions he'll turn in in response to certain stimuli.

People are what they are and they do what they do.

Does Kojak cook kasha? No. Kojak sucks on Tootsie Pops.

People always say, you know, if Lenny Bruce or Miles Davis or Jimi Hendrix didn't do drugs, they would have done so much better.

Actually, I don't think they would have done shit.


You know, originally, I was going to pursue a career in academia?

I have a Master's degree in Transnational Criminal Syndicates.


My thesis was about the relationship between the yakuza and ultranationalist right-wing politics in post-war Japan.

I was gonna be a professor.

Then, one day, I was watching an episode ofFull House, where Jesse goes bungee-jumping with Becky?

Changed my whole life.

I decided, "You know what? I gotta take the plunge."

I don't want to sit on the sidelines my whole life.

I don't want to teach, I want to do.

Let's go.

The big one's soon.

Caveat emptor.


I looked... You looked in the bag.

In the bag...


You know we're gonna die.

God damn it!


What, the bills aren't crisp enough?

There's a problem.

What's that?

Cat looked in the bag. I didn't know.

Jack, sometimes you disappoint the hell out of me.

You got emotionally involved with a whore?


She's not a whore.

All women are whores.

No, they're not.

Take care of your business, Jack, right now.

Okay. She's not a whore.

Shut your goddamn mouth! You're making me sick.

Can I see the bag for a minute? What?

I want to see what's in the bag.

For what? I want to look inside.

Who do you think you are talking to?

You don't talk to me, I talk to you.

You know what you have to do, take care of business.


Kill him.

I don't wanna leave you.

I'll be right here.

Kill him.

Here, take this.

Try and give the master of the game a better game, Jack.

Jesus, Jack!

You passed the Lizard and Sheriff tests, but I'm out of your league, Jack.

I see you haven't read Sunzi'sArt of War.

Shot ya.

What's in the bag?

It was a gift. You were just too blind to see it.

What's in the fucking bag?

Oh, shut up.

What's gonna happen now is you're gonna throw your gun over here.

I'm gonna throw my gun over there?

The motel, my motel, is rigged with enough C4 to wipe it off the face of the Earth.

And in case you were wondering what this is.

It's a detonator. Not a coincidence. Am I lying?

I'm gonna count to three. Yeah, well, I'm gonna count to two.

You wanna start, or should I?

You didn't leave your girlfriend in the room there, did you?

You know, something tells me you might have.

You just can't keep the women in your life from dying horrible, violent deaths, can you?

I don't care about her.

I think you do care about her, Jack.

That's your whole, tragic thing here.

And by "tragic" I mean "pathetic."

Tell me what's in the bag. What's in the bag?

I think you have to look for yourself.

They never recovered your fiance's entire body, did they, Jack?

No leads, no clues.

She had no enemies. She just had you.

I couldn't let my best man go.

In this business you are sui generis. Absolutely unique.

Your word is your bond.

Your fiance was taking you away from me.

I couldn't allow that.

I told you I'd find the guy who did it and bring him to you.

It took me a little time, but I'm also a man of my word.

Here I am.

You know, I'm doing you a favor by putting you out of your misery. Trust me.

Six divorces and eight kids later, I'll tell you one thing as sure as the day you die.

A woman will always let you down.

Was that your good hand?

What are the odds?

You could have been a multi-multimillionaire...

Or at least a contender. Drop it.

Turn around and face me, you piece of trash.

Oh, you wouldn't shoot a man in the back, would you?

A man, no, but you're not a man.

I know you. Shoot him.

More important is that I know you.

What are you doing in public without your horns?

Shoot him! Horns? That's a good one.

And just what the fuck are you?

I'm the one who's dealt with evil all my life.

That's a little dramatic. Not...

Shoot him!

If you want me to live, clap your hands.

I didn't hear anything.

It is time to go, Jack.


I should just mind my own business, huh?

If you did, I'd be dead.

It's true. It's true.

It is true.

You are one tough Hebrew.

You have no idea.


Maybe we should go to a hospital.

You think?

Just a thought.

You lawyers have nice offices.

Thank you very much. Come and sit down.

You look like you've been in a war.

You could say so.

I'm lucky to have good doctors whose specialty's not asking questions.

There's a lot of tidying up to do.

I suggest we make a start.

You mentioned something on the phone about a motel.

A motel where?

Louisiana, the bayou.

You'll like it down there. It's hot.

And hook up with some guy named Jack?

You make sure that this Jack still has what it takes.

You fuck with his head, you understand?

You're gonna have to have some play dates with the local boys to pull this off.

No one's gonna know who the hell you are or who you work for.

You're on your own down there.


What's so important about this guy?

There are people in my life who I trust, and there are people in my life who can kill.

But there aren't any killers I trust other than Jack, but I'm not so sure anymore.

I think the guy's gone soft in the head.

And he's probably gone soft in the dick too.

So I would like you to overexert him.

I could save you a lot of time and trouble.

Whatever you need Jack for I can handle.

Now, if only that were true.

Unfortunately, my six-foot chameleon, it isn't.

Well, he better be cute then.

I think he looks like a fucking, average chipmunk, but what do I know?

One thing I do know, the guy's a killing machine.

But he's a sap.

So I want you to give him the whole Jack-I've-gotten-myself- into-so-much-trouble can-you-please-help-me-out routine.

That I can do.

And, baby...

And, baby, if this gets fucked up, this goes South or something goes wrong and I die, I want you to snuff Jack.

Kill him?

In the unlikely event that this guy somehow manages to kill me, which would actually prove that he's considerably more capable than I suspect he is at this point, I would want you to kill him.

You know I'd avenge your death just out of love, right?

But a girl's gotta make a living.

Don't worry, along with love, you'll get $5 million.

And you'll disappear, and you'll live a long, sweet life.

And you'll remember me when you say your prayers at night.

Go to my lawyer with proof of Jack's death.

He's a fucking stickler for detail.

Come to think of it, you might wanna consider bringing him Jack's head in a bag.

Come on, Mr. Fucking- stickler-for-detail.

Let's you and me go for a ride.

A ride? Where?

Do I look like the kind of girl who would walk around with a human head in a bag?

It's a little hard to say.

You do look like a pretty tough girl and you must have been to have outlasted both Jack and Dragna.

You have no idea.

Well, I have some idea that you weren't a Girl Guide.

I'm gonna be your tour guide.

Are you crazy?

I've been called worse.

Come on. Enough talk, let's go!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on.

Let's just cut to the chase.

You look like the sort of girl who is going to be more than happy to carry $5 million in cash and gold bullion.

I didn't know I was that transparent.

You got room in that bag? Oh, yeah.

Nice doing business with you.

You might wanna take what you've left implanted in my wall.

Keep it.

Fair exchange.