Go! Go! Go!
A thousand bucks. I won a thousand bucks.
A thousand bucks, man.
Did you keep that? I saw you keep that.
That lottery ticket's about as useful as your fuckin' hair gel Mickey.
Hey man, let's have a catch.
- Nah. I don't feel like it. Aw, come on.
Let's work on that curveball, huh?
Yeah and what's a curveball useful for?
Uh, it's fun man.
It's baseball. We love baseball, remember?
Okay no uh... no shorties, I'm not wearing a cup.
None of this 57-foot slider bullshit.
You know, in Latin America, they don't let kids throw curveballs.
They teach them the changeup.
It's a lot easier on the shoulder, but just as effective.
Was that your changeup?
You don't have a changeup either.
You're a one pitch bitch, Mickey.
'One Pitch Bitch Mickey!'
Hell of a pitch, though.
Wanna fish for a while?
Do you wanna fish for a while?
Might be a nice trick to learn.
Think I could figure it out.
Oh you do?
You know, it's not so easy Mickey.
There's a subtlety to it.
Yeah, you're subtle.
You're Mr. Finesse.
You're about as subtle as a fucking sledgehammer.
Fish, fish, fish, more fish.
Why don't you start a fire.
What are they doing out here?
You said they wouldn't come in the woods.
No, I never said that.
- Yes! You said that... What I said, Mickey... was that there would be less of them in the woods.
Same as there will be less of them on the moon.
Why don't you go put some coffee on or something?
Oh my God!
Hey Benny, look, there's a sun roof.
Yeah well it's a fucking rain roof right now!
Close the thing, Jesus Christ.
Well, it's better than the shit that used to be on.
You remember that girl I was seeing up in Pittsfield?
Check this out.
Look at this.
We could lay some pillows down, blankets... it's like a bachelor pad.
Let's go steal some of your dead girlfriend's blankets.
I know what you're thinking Mickey.
And the answer is no fucking way.
You wanna stay.
Just for a little while.
No fuckin' way.
Do I really have to answer that question?
But we just go and go, man. Where are we going?
We're not goin' anywhere.
Mickey, that's the point.
We're like sharks.
Sharks are the ultimate survivor, Mickey.
They've been around four hundred million fucking years, you know why?
'Cause they keep moving.
They stop, they die, it's the same as us.
It's not the same.
That was a house, up in Pittsfield, that we were stuck in.
For three fuckin' months, Remember? I remember.
Your mother, your brother They were in a house. I know.
We ate dog food.
I know, Benny! And then we ate the dog!
We ate the fuckin' dog, Mickey!
I had to kill the dog so we could eat the dog.
I'm not gonna have this discussion.
I'm not gonna trap myself in a big dumb-ass stupid fuckin' house again!
No thank you.
No we came, we checked it out, you're girl's not here.
I'm sorry about that.
But we got some cool shit!
And as of now we're not completely surrounded by fucking monsters.
So I don't think we should press our luck.
Can't we just stay...
Wanna throw me some?
Jesus! What the fuck, man?! Don't do that shit!
Those things are gonna get you killed, man.
And maybe me too. Turn 'em down, will ya?
Alright. I'm serious I heard you, alright.
Here. Come pitch me some...
Check this out.
Come on, get out there.
Testing, testing, What do you think the range is on these things?
I don't know, five, ten miles maybe.
Well, they work.
They do work.
Alright, you can come back in.
Nah, actually I think I'm gonna go take a shit.
Annie, this is Orchard.
This is Annie, go head.
Yeah, listen. I got an addition to your shopping list here, courtesy of Miss Carter.
Well, apparently she told Jason uh, he could pick the movie this week, on account of the birthday thing.
What do we do?
She told him, "Any movie you want."
What'd he pick?
It's the giant killer worm movie with uh... Kevin Bacon.
I'm familiar with "Tremors" over.
Well, she promised the kid we'd find it.
Been on my ass all day about it, like I got time for this shit.
What kind of a goddammed movie is that to pick anyway?
Well if they got it, I'll get it, Frank.
Yeah, well don't bust your ass over it.
We got more pressing concerns.
Go head, man.
Who is this?
Uh, hi. This is uh, Mickey.
I'm here with Ben. Benjamin McBride. We're...
We're uh, ballplayers.
We were playing baseball up in Pittsfield, when...
Anyway, we've been walking forever, and...
We just found a car.
We're in Connecticut. Over.
You stay off this channel.
Wait, what? Hello.
Please, we're... we'e just looking for a place to stay.
We're really hard workers. We can... fish, and cook... and I think that we could help each other out, over.
We got hard workers, kid.
What we ain't got is room.
We got no vacancy.
Now that's that.
And don't try to find us.
You're not welcome.
Annie, come back.
I don't want you talking to these kids, you understand?
You know the rules.
Just stay off the waves and get back in, you copy?
10-4 and out.
No. No, no, no, no. Hello!
We're gonna die out here.
You believe that?
I don't know.
What do we do?
I don't know.
You don't know?
You don't know?
What don't you know?
You know, I know that these are the first people that we've heard from in months.
They've got their shit together, man.
Communications... birthdays... fucking movies!
Yeah, and we're clearly not invited to the party, Mick.
I don't care.
I don't wanna live out here like this anymore, man.
Sleeping on rooftops.
Living out of a car.
You're like a fucking caveman.
And you stink.
And you don't seem to care.
You know, you like living this hunter-gather lifestyle, but I don't!
You know, I don't like waking up every day wondering if today's the day I'm gonna die.
Wondering if today's the day that a fucking walking dead person eats my head!
It's not funny man!
No it's not funny It's not fucking funny!
It's the way you said... I'm serious!
Okay, I know, okay, you're fucking serious, man.
I get it.
You wanna find 'em, go find 'em.
They don't wanna be found, man.
How you gonna find 'em?
Annie, come back, over.
They're not gonna answer you, Mickey.
It's been days, man.
That shit was just a whisper in the wind.
Come back, please.
Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
You got a thing for her, don't ya?
Oh my God!
Oh my God! You're so fucking funny, man.
You're so weird!
You're not asking for, for Frank.
You're not asking for The Orchard.
Annie, come back!
Annie, please come back!
Shut up. Please, Annie!
You know what?
You wanna know the difference between you and me?
What, I'm not an asshole?
It's that... we both know... that there's a girl out there, right?
Driving around... doing some highly organized scavenging... some recon missions... who knows, it could be a couple fuckin' weirdos on the radio but... let's say she's out there.
She's probably coming from someplace fortified... big walls, like you said.
But these are logical deductions, yes?
What's your point? Well...
My point is... in your mind, she's like this post-apocalyptic pixie girl.
With like, a gun on her hip.
And like, a garter.
And maybe like, a scar that's so well placed that it shows how tough she is but doesn't fuck up her pretty face, right?
And in my mind?
She's like a 46-year-old softball coach.
With a mullet.
And fuckin' calves like canned hams, man.
I mean, if they're gonna send a woman, that's who they're gonna send.
A trucker. A bull dyke.
Not fuckin' Frank's barely legal niece.
But... you're a romantic.
And I'm a realist, that's okay.
Probably gonna get you killed, though.
Just like those fuckin' headphones.
You know, you're the only person I know that could walk all the way across New England and gain weight.
I'm the only person you know, Mickey.
I'm a catcher, I'm allowed to be fat.
Well then you pull it off.
Fuck you, sir.
Fuck you to death.
I think you're over thinking this one, Mickey.
I think you're grasping a little bit.
Who says that? "No Vacancy"?
Uh, people say it man.
It's a saying, it means...
No room, no space, don't uh... don't come here.
We cannot accommodate you.
Please don't come to... Oh shit!
I told you this was gonna happen.
Get in the car. Get in the god damn car.
Can we go now, are we done?
Can we cross this place off the list?
You know, I don't know why you feel like you have to kill every fucking one of them.
Because I do! Because we do, it's our duty.
No you don't!
You're gonna get yourself killed because you have to confront every single one.
Pay attention! Watch out!
If you'll just stop fucking distracting me while I'm trying to do this!
Just do it and get back in the car!
You know, why don't you get out here and do it?
Are we gonna do this again? Yeah, no, I think it's time.
Get out here and fucking do it.
I mean, aren't you just a little bit angry?
Aren't you just a little bit angry, Mickey?
This one over here? She killed your brother.
Fuck you. This motherfucker here?
He ate your mom!
You're an asshole! He ate her right up!!!
You're gonna have to do it sometime, man.
But I don't have to do it today.
And neither do you.
Here hold this for me, will ya?
Get that outta my fucking face.
Ah ha haaa!
Haaaa! ho hoooo Haaaaaa!
No! No, no, no!
No, no, no, no!!
Oh my fucking...
I'm sorry, Mickey!
I'm sorry, man!
Oh shit, are you finished?
I can't even fucking, I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!
Fuck, I gotta go.
I'll come back, you finish up!
We're fucking staying the night.
We're in the middle of nowhere!
There's nothing around for miles and the only reason we got stuck in that house in Massachusetts, is because we didn't know what the fuck was going on!
I want to sleep in a house.
In a bed!
Like a real human.
So we're fucking staying the night!
Guess we're staying the night.
Hey Ben? Have you seen my...
What are you doing?
I'm trying to put this... fucking bow together.
I can see that.
So you wanna borrow those...?
Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, these?
You can have 'em back tomorrow. Tomorrow?
Yeah. I'll give them back when we leave.
You'll give them back?
They're my headphones.
You're the one who wants to stay the night.
So that's what this is about?
Yeah, it is.
You wanna have a fuckin' sleepover... in a big box with no wheels.
And I don't want you to be distracted.
I want you to be able to hear a fucking squirrel take a shit out there.
That's the only way I'm gonna feel remotely safe sleeping in this house.
You think I don't like music?
I fuckin' love music, man.
But I always have to be present and aware, because you don't wanna deal with shit.
You're always hiding in these things, Mickey.
You're burning through batteries, you're blowing out your eardrums, and you're putting my life at risk.
How am I putting your life at risk?
Because we're a fucking team, man!
Whether you like it or not and you know what, maybe I'm just tired of watching both of our fucking backs all the time.
It's for your own good man.
You need to wake up and realize that this is how it is out here now.
Nobody's gonna flip this switch back on.
Flip the switch back on?
What's that, I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Can't hear you through the beautiful... music.
It's so loud.
It's so loud and glorious.
I'm gonna fucking shoot you.
Did you see that?
Come and look at this fuckin' mural, man.
There's like a beautiful woman.
Perky little titties.
She's sitting in the middle of the woods.
Surrounded by a bunch of animals. There's like... a gazelle, a fucking red fox.
A huge stork. Some kind of bird of prey.
And she's like, leaning on a lion.
It looks like... You know what it looks like?
It looks like one of those... Jehovah's Witness pamphlets.
You know, where all of God's creatures... are united and peaceful in the Kingdom on Heaven or some shit.
Come here. Come look at it.
What? No? Okay.
I want to go there.
Annie, you... you there?
I don't know how much longer I can do this.
They'd put me over the fence if they knew I was talking to you.
You've gotta let this go.
I can't This place... it's not what you think it is.
What is it?
That's exactly the sort of thing they'd put me over the fence for saying.
I bet it's not... sleeping on a roof.
Or a tree.
Or in a car.
Like a rat in a cage. Is it?
No, it isn't.
Then don't tell me to let it go.
I don't have anything else.
What about your friend?
We were ballplayers, I...
He was the starting catcher.
I was out in the bullpen.
We never hung out in the same circles.
I hardly even know him.
Listen, I didn't push this button to gab like schoolgirls.
For your own good, change the fucking channel, Mickey.
♪ They can take our bones and bury them ♪
♪ Deep under the river, but we'll still be together ♪
♪ And we cannot be defeated.
♪ They can take our trombones
♪ and pack them down there with us. ♪
♪ But no matter how long it takes us ♪
♪ We will not be defeated.
♪ When we dance, we dance together. ♪
♪ Under the moon, and under the weather. ♪
♪ We will all rise forever, and at night. ♪
Come on. Shhh.
Shut up. Shut up, shut up.
Mickey wake up!!
What the fuck!?!!
Come on, Mick!
Come on, Mick!
- You gotta do it! What are you doing?!
- Come on, Mickey! - Let me out!!!
I left the bat in there! I've seen you swing it!
Swing the fucking bat, Mickey!
- Nooooo! No! - Come on, Mick!
- Noo! - Mickey!
- Come on man! Stop! Get off! Get off!
You made a fucking mess, but you got the job done.
What the fuck, Mickey! What the fuck are you...?
Get off me!
What the fuck!
Get off me!
Aw, Mickey. Mickey!
Come back, man.
You're on the board, Mick!
We gotta celebrate!
Where you goin', Mick?
What are you doin'?
I talked to her.
She said they'd kick her out if she talked to me.
She told me to let it go.
Aw shit man.
You know, you look like a fuckin' lunatic right now.
Why don't you uh... come get cleaned up.
Get some clothes on.
Get outta this fucking rain.
Cheer up, Mickey.
It was just a girl on the radio.
There's other girls out there, brother.
We'll find you a nice one.
This is the saddest game of catch I've ever had.
Do you want me to do a...
Do you want me to do a dance? A funky dance?
Doo-dat-dooo-dat-doo doo-dee-doo-dee-doo dooodle-doo-dat-doo!
Cheer up, Mickey!
Alright, let's get you an assist.
You want an assist?
Here we go. He's gonna come around second.
He's gonna head for home.
You're gonna throw him out, alright? I want a rope.
Come on, Mick.
He's comin' around!
Comin' around third! Get it in, get it in!
I think there's someone here.
Just keep an eye out.
We'll be gone in a second.
It's fucking... Benny!
There's not a dr... hey! Whoa, what the fuck!?
Stop right there.
Just gimme the keys, and I'll let him go.
Just calm down, okay?
Gimme the fucking keys!
Can we talk about this? Let's talk.
I don't have time to fucking talk.
Why not, what's the rush, man? Where you going?
Please, we can help you.
We can take you anywhere you want.
Yeah, I need to go to fucking Arizona.
Are you gonna take me to fucking Arizona?!
No, I didn't think so.
Now put down the gun, and toss over the keys.
I don't have the keys.
God dammit I am not fucking around here!
I will open this motherfucker up!
No you won't.
What did you say?
I said you won't do it.
Then you have no leverage.
If they find me I'm a dead man anyway.
Who finds you?
I'm done talking to you, asshole.
Hey tell me, what's in Arizona, huh?
You got three seconds.
What do you got, a wife?
Shut your fucking mouth!
Couple of kids?
Are they gonna be happy about the way you got home?
Stealing from innocent people?
Don't you think we got enough to worry about?
Without having to worry about each other?
Tell me your name, man. What's your name?
Jerry, my name's Jerry.
My name's Ben.
That's Mickey. Stop trying to talk me down!
Sir please! Shut up!
They told me they were gonna take me.
They said if I stuck it out, and worked through the winter they'd... come spring they'd give me a truck.
And a gun, and enough food and gas to make it home.
But they fucking lied!
Who, who lied?
If you don't put down that gun... and give me the keys to that car...
I will take his fucking eye.
No Ben! Benny!
Give him the fucking keys!
How's that for leverage?
I told you, Jerry.
I don't have the keys.
They're in the car!
They're in the car. In the ignition.
You know, if it was my kid, Jerry...
I would have walked across this whole fucking country by now.
You don't know me, motherfucker!
Open the door.
Okay okay! Okay, Jerry?
You win, Jerry.
Here's what's going to happen.
I'm gonna throw the gun away.
You're gonna let Mickey go.
And you get in and drive away, okay?
Give me the gun.
No I'm not gonna give you the gun. This is not a negotiation.
Alright, I'd rather shoot you both and take everything.
You're not taking the car and the gun.
I am gonna throw the gun away, you're gonna let Mickey go, and be on your way.
Throw it away.
Let him go, Jerry.
You fucking motherfucker!
That was a person, Benny.
Yeah it was.
A real asshole, too.
He just wanted to see his family.
I wanna see my family too, Mickey.
But A: they're far away.
And B: they're probably fucking dead.
And I'm not gonna take someone else's livelihood to do it.
I mean, I don't understand you, man.
That guy had a fucking knife to your throat.
I don't understand people anymore, I tell ya I'm... starting to prefer the dead ones.
Hey, hey, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We friends or what?
I don't know, are we?
Well that's our car right there.
We come to get it and be on our way, that alright with you?
Well it's got no gas in it.
We got gas.
So... we friends?
I guess so.
Thought you said we were friends.
What about the shadow back there?
Oh that's Egghead.
Not because he's smart, either.
Because he's got a big ol' egg for a head.
Put it away Eggs, get the can.
Who are you guys?
Survivors, same as you.
You uh, happened to see the guy who was driving this?
Yeah, we saw him.
Where'd he go?
He was bit.
I had to finish him off, he's in the field right there.
He uh, say anything to you before?
No, uh... just... panicky, yammering on about family back West.
He say where he got the car?
Only that it was owed to him.
And that you were probably gonna come and get it.
He tried to take ours, too.
Well he was a thief.
Weird dude, you did the right thing.
You wanna see him?
We got what we came for.
Keep on keepin' on, boys.
Wait, wait a minute.
Beg your pardon?
It's you isn't it? Annie?
It's me, Mickey.
Jesus Christ! What are you doing?
I told you to let it go.
I- I did! We did!
Oh! What the fuck!
How were we supposed to know you were gonna be here?
You fucking bitch!
I already shot you once, Beardy-face I will do it again.
I'm sorry, I told you.
The Orchard is not what you think it is.
I can't have you following us.
Where are your keys?
Ben, give her the keys. Aw, come on Mickey!
Ben, give her the fucking keys, man!
Alright, alright! Here!
Here you motherfucker!
Way to go, Mick!
There she goes!
The girl that kept you up nights!
Was she worth it?!
You wait till we're gone before you go after 'em.
If I see you again, I'll kill you both.
They gotta, they gotta be right around there, Mickey.
I watched them fall.
Yeah I know, but...
I don't know.
Alright, just come on in. We'll find 'em in the morning.
I'll give you one thing, Mick.
She wasn't no bull dyke.
You were right about that.
What, what? What, Mickey, what?
Did you hear that?
Oh shit, oh shit!
Where's the light? Where's the flashlight?
Mickey calm down! Calm down, man.
Turn the-hit the headlights.
- Oh no! - Oh my God!
We gotta go.
We gotta go no, come on!
Ben, come on!
I can't Mickey, my fucking leg, man!
Oh, they're everywhere!
Mickey turn off the lights!
See if I can get any of these motherfuckers.
We, ugh! We have to try to hot wire it!
What, hot wire the car?
We've only tried to do it a dozen God damn times, Mickey.
There's gotta be a way.
It's just... twisting wires.
Oh, yeah, in the movies.
In the fucking movies it's twisting wires Mickey you're gonna get in there, start stripping wires, and you're gonna fuck everything up!
It's already fucked up! Everything is fucked up!
They keys are gone! Yeah. And why is that?
Why is that?
Why are they keys gone?
You told me to get them tomorrow morning.
No, no why are they in the fucking field, Mickey?
Why did I get shot?
So you're blaming this on me?
I'm saying... they told us that we weren't welcome and you couldn't let it go.
I told you not to sugarcoat this girl.
That it was gonna bite ya, and now look where we are.
Maybe if we just lay low, and shut up, they'll go away.
They don't go away, Mickey.
You know that.
But shut up anyway.
How much water you think a person's supposed to have everyday.
I have no idea.
How many days you think that is?
Hey. What's up? What?
What about what we did up in Pittsfield?
What about it?
Do you think it would work?
I don't see how.
I mean, that was a two story house, Mickey.
There was a little bit more wiggle room, don't you think?
This sound is driving me crazy.
It's kinda nice, I think.
Like rain on a tin roof.
Can't look at their fucking faces anymore.
Let's see, what do you want, you want uh, tuna?
Chicken I think.
Umm, chicken I guess.
Okay, you wanna split a can of peas, too?
Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, don't... don't eat that.
Lemme get that...
Oh, come on. That's disgusting.
Wait till we have to start saving our piss.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
"Like rain on a tin roof."
I have an idea.
Let's get shitfaced.
That's not an idea.
It's a great idea.
How's that gonna help?
I think we should celebrate.
What? What are you talking about?
I don't know.
Last night on earth, maybe?
It's the source of infection!
We figured it out!
We fucking figured it out!
Oh my God!
No, no! Don't do the other one! Don't!
This one's really bad! It's really bad! I'm taking the socks off too!
Not the socks! Ahhhh!
Come on! No!!! No! No!
Oh come on!
Ewww It's not that bad.
It's not that bad!
Just say it man.
Say what? Say it!
Say it! Say it! Say the "Z" word!
No way. Why not?
Because they're not real.
Oh they're fucking real. They're pretty fucking real.
Come on, you know what I mean.
Let's do "Ro Shambo" you gotta drink if you lose, alright?
Oh! Come on! Fuck you.
I'm trapped in a fucking car.
And I wish I had... air conditioning.
Okay, I wanna win one.
Let's switch it up.
Say they got fangs, and they're sucking fucking blood and they're burning up in the sun.
And you have a crucifix, and they can't eat garlic...
What do you call 'em? Fuck you!
Yeah, exactly. I'm just saying... if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck... it's probably a fucking zombie!
Trapped in a fucking car, I wish I had air conditioning, balloons, cheese... and dynamite.
I'm trapped in fucking car... and I wish I had air conditioning, balloons, cheese, dynamite, and every Beatles album.
Drink for beating me! Okay.
And then you just jump over 'em and you get the keys!
But I couldn't find the keys when... when there weren't fifty fucking zombies, How am I supposed to...
Wait a minute, wait. What?
What did you just say?
Say it again. Say it again.
Ohhhh... Say it again.
What did you say? Say the word.
Fifty... Say it.
Zombies! Zombies! Ha ha haaa!
Alright. Okay, okay, okay.
♪ I'm tired and I wanna go to bed. ♪
♪ I had me a drink about an hour ago ♪
♪ And it went straight to my head. ♪
♪ Wherever I may roam, ♪ by land, or sea, or foam, ♪ you can always hear me singing this song. ♪
♪ Show me the way to go home. ♪ Tomorrow. Tomorrow we die.
Mickey, you can do this, man.
You can do it.
You say low.
And go hard.
You'll be fine.
If you don't find the keys, don't come back.
I'm not leaving you here.
I can do this.
Come on Mickey.
Come on, Mickey, man.
Come on, Mickey. Come on, come on.
Come on, Mickey.
Oh my God!
Come on, buddy!
Did you get 'em? Mickey!
Did you get 'em?!
Mickey, did you get the keys?
Mick, what's wrong?
Mickey, Mickey were you bit?
Oh my God!!
Mickey, are you bit?!
Oh fuck!! Mickey!!!
Oh Jesus!!! No Ben!!
Please Ben! Mickey!
Oh God! What do I do?!
What do I do?!
Ben! What do I do, please!
Oh God dammit!
Don't shut down... God dammit!!
Please! Tell me what do I do?!
Ben, please don't shut down on me!
Put the gun away!
You gotta get outta the car. No, you can't!
You gotta get outta the car, man...
I can't! Get outta the fucking car!!!
Mickey get out!!!
You can't do this! I have to, Mickey!
You know it!
Please let me stay!
Get outta the fucking car, Mickey!
Please! Oh, God!
Ben! Oh my God!
Is anybody out there?
You know, me and Mickey we were trapped in a house for three months when it all started.
Had to board up the windows.
Block out the sunlight.
You ever been inside, in one place... for that long?
Listening to the same sound, all day.
It does something to you.
Are you listening?
I bet you are.
Oh I bet you are.
Mickey didn't make it.
Because of you.
You hear me?
How we finally got outta that house.
We just opened the door.
They all tried to pile in one side, and we just... went out the other.
All that time.
And it was that easy.
Just... let 'em in.
I think I'm gonna try it again.
If it doesn't work this time...
I'm just gonna put a bullet in my head.
But if it does...
I'm gonna come and