The Blair Witch Project (1999) Script

lt's already recording.

Okay, just...

-This is my home. -You look a little blurry, man.

Let me zoom out on you.

-Okay. -Okay.

Good morning.

-Got it? -Okay, I got you.

-This is my home. -Okay.

Which I am leaving the comforts of for the weekend to explore the Blair Witch.

Some essential reading, How to Stay Alive in the Woods, 'cause you never know what's going to happen.

And this is a very important book because it has the article about what happened at Coffin Rock.

-That looks pretty old. -Yeah, it's totally old. And this is my field notebook.

-Hey, it's Mr. Punctuality. -Hey.

-How the hell are you this morning? -Tired.

So I got the CP up.

Good. That's important

'cause that's what we're shooting on.

No one knows I took it, but I got it.

All right, come on, into the house. Come on, come on. l can see you. l'm going to bump into shit. l'm walking backwards now.

Okay, we don't want to fuck up the cameras before we leave.

So, where's Mikey at?

We have to go get him.

Okay.

-We're supposed to get him at 8:30. -Okay.

Which means we're already going to be behind schedule, -but it's important to have juice. -That's cool. l guess you're Mike.

Here, wait... Stop, stop.

Don't we get to meet your mama?

See you later, Mom!

How are you, Mike? lt's nice to meet you. l'm tired, but l'm doing good. l'm real excited about this.

-Thank you for the opportunity. -l'm very glad.

Well, thank you for getting the equipment together.

We've got so much fucking battery power, we could fuel a small world country for a month.

We got rice, we got Mott's Fruit Punch.

Oatmeal raisin, baby.

-Ultimate camp food. -Marshmallows...

Feel how soft. Soft...

Hey, you weasel.

Marshmallows...

Do you believe in ghosts?

Have you ever heard of the Blair Witch? lt's... lt actually sounds kind of familiar.

My older sister went to Blair High School.

The woods around Halloween time is a creepy enough phenomenon.

-Just tell me a little bit more... -l don't want to go cheesy. l want to really avoid any cheese. l want to present this in as straightforward a way as possible, and I think the legend is unsettling enough.

You guys want to get the ceremonial first slate?

Absolutely.

Here he is, filling out our first slate for our first shot.

Should we all, like, cut our fingers open and bleed on it?

A little bloodletting on the slate?

No, we'll save that for later.

Kiss it. Kiss the slate. lt's the first slate.

First slate. Marked by my lipstick.

Mikey, first slate. Kiss it. Good luck.

He licked it. God bless him.

You're not supposed to eat it. We need that for the rest of the shoot.

This is Burkittsville, formerly Blair. lt is a small, quiet Maryland town, much like a small, quiet town anywhere.

No more than 20 families laid their roots here over 200 years ago, many of whom remain either on this hill or in the town below.

There are an unusually high number of children laid to rest here, most of whom passed in the 1940s.

Yet, no one in the town seems to recall anything unusual about this time.

To us, anyway.

Yet, legend tells a different story. One whose evidence is all around us, etched in stone.

Well, we have shot the first scene. The cemetery scene.

The opening is shot.

-We're doing a documentary. -Yeah?

About the Blair Witch.

-Have you heard of the Blair Witch? -Oh, yeah.

That's an old, old, old story.

As I remember, Mr. Parr was an old hermit.

-Right. -And he lived up on a mountain.

He had a place up there.

Been there for a long, long time.

-You've heard of the Blair Witch? -Several times.

Several times? And what was the first incident? l've heard stories about her from people and neighbors and stuff like that.

But also I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel, or somewhere, -once about her. -Really?

About the ghosts and legends of Maryland.

Yeah, that's a story my grandmother used to tell us all.

-Make us go to bed early. -Really?

They say if you stay up after dark, walk around the house too much, the Blair Witch will come and get you.

Sort of in the winter, I guess, the fall or the winter of 1940, some of the young kids started to disappear.

Nobody knew anything about why they were...

Why they were disappearing.

The creepiest...

-The creepiest story about her... -That's kind of an omen, isn't it?

...that I ever heard was that two men were out hunting, and they were camped near the cabin, or something, that she's supposed to haunt.

No, no!

And they disappeared off the face of the Earth.

-No. -Really?

Okay, it's all right, lngrid. l'm just telling a scary story, -but it's not true. -lt's not true.

Finally, one day, old Mr. Parr come down into the market and said, "l'm finally finished."

And what did he mean by that? l guess nobody knew at first, but the police finally went up on the mountain and they searched his house and they found the bodies of seven kids from the area.

What he did is, he took the kids down into the basement by twos and he made one face into the corner.

Really?

And then he would kill the other one.

And then when he was done with that, he'd grab the one out of the corner and kill that one, too.

And those were the seven kids that were missing.

And then they brought them out of the woods one at a time, and it just was a terrible thing.

Just tore the whole community up.

Said in court that he couldn't take the eyes on him.

He could... He could feel the eyes watching him.

That's why he made them face into the corner like that.

All my life, really, l've believed in witches and ghosts and all that stuff.

Do you believe that there are some in this area?

Definitely.

-Do you believe in witchcraft? -No.

-No? -No, sir.

Are you a religious man?

-Yep. -All righty.

Pretty creepy stuff. l believe there's something happening with her.

And you think that it's possible that she's still up there now?

-l don't go up there. -You don't go up there?

Yeah, I believe enough not to go up there.

And they say that the woods are all haunted up there and stuff like that, but...

What do they say? How are they haunted? l don't... There really isn't many people that say that it's haunted, but there was this old woman, Mary Brown, who used to...

-Mary Brown? -Yeah, and she was kind of a crazy lady.

How was she seen by the community?

Crazy.

That's it. The American flag. That's Mary's house. l'm going to grab her and bring her out.

Why don't you take a look around and see where the best light is, all right?

Okay.

This is Mary's gate. l'm not even sure how I pull this open.

'Cause something interesting happened to you, actually, at one point in your life.

You had an encounter with the Blair Witch?

Yes. That is a really, kind of, scary story.

To, kind of, make ends meet, my dad and I would go fishing down by Tappy's Creek.

-Right. -And, you know, it's in Burkittsville. l was lying down on the leaves, a pile of leaves, kind of watching my pole and looking up at the sky.

-Sure. -And all of a sudden, -l felt like something was near me. -Right.

You know, kind of an eerie feeling. lt was like a woman, only on her arms and on her hands and everything it was like hair.

Like a real dark, almost black, hair.

-Like a horse. -Like fur?

Yeah, like a fur. Like horse fur.

-Then on her arms, she had a shawl... -Right.

Wool shawl over her.

And she scared you?

-She threatened you? -And she didn't say anything, but she just kept staring, and then she opened up her shawl...

And what was under there?

And under there was hair on her body like a horse.

So she was hairy from head to toe?

Yeah, and her legs...

-And you could see she was a female. -Right. How about her face? lt was just kind of, like, strange-looking.

Thank God, she's not in the film business. l mean, can you imagine working with her?

She thinks she is in the film business. She also says she's a ballerina.

-Get out. -She says she's a historian writing a book on American history...

-l heard that. -...and that she's a scientist who does research at the Department of Energy. l fucked up on Mary. l'm checking my depth of field chart to see how bad.

So you measured for meters? What? We're not in Europe.

Yeah, the fucking lens has meters on it, okay. lt also has our system.

No, it had meters on it. Look.

This is an American camera, though.

All those are meters.

What about the brown ones?

The brown ones are feet.

Yeah, the brown ones are on there, right?

Yeah, but the white ones are obvious.

But I thought you've used this camera before, man. l've used it, like, once before.

How do we feel about today, guys?

-l learned a lot, man. -Yeah.

You learned a lot about Mary Brown?

No, I learned a lot about, like, fucking...

Sixteen?

Just shooting out here. Just shooting doc.

-We kicked some ass today. -Cheers to you.

-Very good day. -Excellent day.

Very good first day.

Okay, we're going to do an equipment check, but l'm going to call my mom.

Okay, l've got a bag of Utz and a beer.

And we don't really need to get that on film.

So, I guess you're covered, then.

Could you just run it for a couple of feet for me so we can check that it's okay?

Sure. l just want to hear if this mag is loaded properly, so we can shoot some stuff.

Okay, that's good. That's good.

-That's good, thank you. -Okay.

Let's be relaxed 'cause we've got a really, really long day tomorrow.

Today was cake compared to tomorrow. We're going to do a lot of hiking.

We're going to have a lot of weight on our backs. l'm preparing.

That's what we're preparing for.

Shut up, you smartass. Pour me a shot, please.

-l'm freaking out. -You can't do that.

-You're the director. -Yes, l... You know, at this point, l fucking have to do that, all right? l fucking have to. Do we have any weed?

Here I go.

Drink, drink. l fucking hate Scotch.

-There's my friend Josh. -Hey.

-How are you? -l'm hurting. l'm not ready for that thing that you're doing, like, you know... l know you don't like it. Okay.

Hello.

Welcome to Day Two.

The trail is somewhere along here. We shouldn't miss it. lt should be pretty, pretty obvious.

You guys say you know something about the Blair Witch? l've heard the myths. l don't really believe much in it.

"The myth"?

-That's all I think it is. -Damn fool kids'll never learn.

-What'd you say, sir? -l said, "You damn fool kids'll never learn."

Shut up.

-"Damn fool kids'll never learn"? -That's what I said.

And what makes you say that?

First of all, can I have your permission to put your image on video for the purposes of a documentary entitled The Blair Witch Project?

-l don't care much about that, but... -Well, you have to say yes or no, sir.

-Watch it. -Sorry.

Yeah, sure, that's all right.

Yeah, some girl back in the late 1800s, -Robin Weaver I believe her name was... -Right.

...supposedly just wandered off, disappeared into the woods.

Wasn't no "supposedly" about it. They wandered off.

-Okay, so she wandered off. -And she got lost.

She got lost.

-Three days later... -There wasn't no "supposedly."

Three days later, she just appears back on her grandmother's porch.

Right.

-And everybody's mystified about it. -Right.

-She was babbling something... -She had a tale to tell, too, though.

Yeah, she was babbling something about the...

An old woman whose feet never touched the ground.

-Did... Did you... -l'll tell you, I saw, right up there by that tree, -up the creek... I told you that. -Right, I know.

About a hundred yards, l saw a white misty thing that I can't tell what it is, one day. lt was, like, a gray... Like, gray vapor rising out of the trees?

Right out of the water.

-Right out of the water, near the trees. -Up the side of the tree, and it disappeared over them...

Now you're full of it.

No, l'm not full of it, and I wasn't drinking that day, either.

How is that related to the story of Coffin Rock?

-lt all ties in to the story of Coffin Rock. -How's that? l mean, anybody worth their salt around here knows that this area's been haunted by that old woman for years.

That's bullshit.

This is some serious woods we're heading into.

Excited?

You got it. l hope he's not rolling off a whole shitload of stock.

Yeah. l could help you, but l'd rather stand and record.

Okay.

Packs are on?

-We're rocking. Let's rock. -We're ready to go.

-We got to go up to the shack, the shanty? -Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, it's like we're off to the Andes or something.

Oh, my God, this is a very heavy backpack.

On our way to Coffin Rock. We are totally on track. l know exactly where we are now.

-Mikey, throw me the video camera. -No, don't. l wanna get her going across, man.

l see a dirty behind.

-Yeah. Good jump. -Thank you, thank you.

There it is. See? That's Coffin Rock.

Go.

"They went into the woods prepared to find death.

"What they found was a desecration of humanity

"at the site which trappers have often referred to as Coffin Rock.

"On top of the rock formation

"the story of the torture inflicted upon these brave five men unfolded.

"Each was bound to the other, "each man's hands bound to the next man's feet, "forming a solid structure out of the men.

"Blood at the edges of the head indicate that this act had committed...

"Been committed while each was alive and able-bodied enough to struggle.

"In the torso of each man the intestines had been torn out crudely.

"On each man's sun-bleached face was inscribed indecipherable writing, "cut into their flesh with an eerie precision.

"The men, stilI entranced by the horror of what had happened, "Ieft the scene to find the sheriff, "and did not sketch the writing

"and did not remove the bodies from the rock.

"Upon return, vultures were seen at the rock, "but upon inspection, "the bodies had been removed by persons unknown.

"The search party claimed that the stench of death was still thick"

"and whomever had taken the bodies had done so in a matter of hours."

That happened here at Coffin Rock. lt felt really rushed 'cause I really want to get to camp, and it's 4:52 and we're going to be late.

We're going to be losing light soon.

But, I mean, I can always use the shot without me in it because I recorded sound in the rock reading the whole thing.

So, I'm sure I can edit it together somehow.

lt's starting to rain.

-What did you do, rent this thing? -Yeah. l don't have a tent for three people.

-You know, l'm not used to... -No, l'm just wondering. l'm not usually traveling with two men, if you know what l'm saying. lt is pouring rain right now. We can't even get a fire going.

Show the kids at home what the stick is for.

Look at that.

We've got our very own leaning post. lf you get too much ass smell in the night...

Okay, who wouldn't let me have a cigarette in the tent, but he's allowed to fart as much as he wants?

-l really don't think it's... -No, I never gave Mike any fart allowance.

So, you heard noises last night?

-l totally heard noise. -See, the problem is, l sleep like a fucking rock. lt was like there were two separate noises coming from two layers of space over here and one of them was kind of, like...

One of them could have possibly been an owl, but the other one was, like, a cackling...

-Was a definite... -No way. lt was a total cackling, man. lf I heard a cackling, l would've shit in my pants.

-Where'd we start out yesterday? -Off the map.

-Off the map. -'Cause I knew where we were going.

Though I know there was some confusion, -but today... -Wait, wait, wait. Say that again. l said, "l knew where we were going."

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

-Would that be a full-of-shit statement? -No, I did...

-Would that be a full-of-shit statement? -l did know where...

All l'm saying is that you got us lost, man.

-For a very brief amount of time. -Okay.

-Just don't get us lost today. -lt was very brief.

Yeah, serious. l'm not. l know where all of these places are.

They're all very well-documented.

So, what's up? Are you happy with the way the documentary's going?

-Yes, I am. Yeah. -Yeah?

And l'm very pleasantly surprised by our little Mikey.

-"Our little Mikey"? -Our little Mikey.

-So, what's up? -He's a very spirited young man. l mean, what's your take on the Blair Witch at this point?

-Do you think she exists? -l don't know. I don't know.

Heather, I really wish you'd found a trail...

There's a trail on top of this hill, don't worry.

-lt is a trail. -This is not a trail.

We like shortcuts, don't we?

We like level shortcuts.

-We don't like mountainous shortcuts. -lt's a little warmer today, so this is the first time we're seeing Mike's chest. lt's really hard to pick up on video, actually.

Mike has really sporadic hair patterns on his chest.

-lt's like a symbol, man. -lt's, like, blank, hairy, blank, hairy.

You should see my ass.

Look, look. lt's fucking Uruguay, right there, right there.

-Wow. -There's Paraguay over here.

-Yeah, whatever. -Look, I think I see Bolivia.

What killed this dead mouse?

Witchcraft?

How about God? ls that the Blair Witch?

No. I think it's Heather taking a piss.

You know, this is really not too good. l really have to go.

-Don't torture me. -Go.

We are hot on the cemetery trail.

-lt should only be a... -Says you.

-What? -Says you.

Says me, of course. And...

We should be hitting it in about 90 minutes.

-You guys cool with that? -What?

-90 minutes. -As long as you know where we're going.

-Can you hang? -l know exactly where we're going.

Josh feels it's necessary to look at the map now, even though I know where we're going and we're going straight ahead up there. lf you've known where we're going, we wouldn't be hiking like...

We're in the middle of the fucking woods, man.

-How could you possibly know? -Some of it is off-trail hiking.

Because people told you?

"Oh, yeah, there's a cemetery back in there." lf we're lost, admit that first, because...

We're not... I know we're not lost.

You knew that yesterday, too, and you knew that twice today.

Look... No, bullshit, and l...

-We have not been lost at all today. -That's...

-That is not true. -Not once. I know where we're going.

-Okay, this is where we were. -Let me tell you what you said to us.

"lt's, like, two miles away." Then, it's like, "Two hours away..."

-Okay, just, just chill. Just chill. -"Three hours away."

Maybe it's four hours away. How could you...

-Did you agree to do this project? -l did. I agreed to a scouted-out project. l didn't agree to just trounce around the woods. lt is scouted out, and I told you getting to the location

-wasn't going to be easy. -Mike, Mike... Okay! Guys!

-l've got $1,500 worth of equipment on me. -Guys, it's cool, it's cool.

Please, you're being a smartass, you're being a smartass...

Let's just... We're looking at the map.

-We're going to find this the best we can. -Okay. l can totally find this.

This is where we were.

We're going more or less this way.

Mika, what's your call? l mean, where do you think we're going? l'll tell you the truth.

This is, like... This is Greek to me.

-Right. -lt's useless.

Exactly.

So, l'm just putting my trust in you that you know where it is.

Good.

Although I got to tell you, l don't fully trust you.

And l... No, l'm not going to say it.

What?

Nothing. I don't know why you have to have every conversation on video, man.

-Tape some ambiance. -'Cause we're making a documentary.

Not about us getting lost.

We're making a documentary about a witch. l have a camera. Doesn't hurt because we'll all look back on this and laugh heartily, believe me.

Baby steps, man, baby steps.

Just breathe and don't look down, maybe?

-No, you've got to look down. -You're gonna have to crawl.

-l'm hitting the crawl. -Cool.

Think about how cool the fucking cemetery is gonna be when we get there.

Think of the joy of being in a really good film.

-Okay, shut the fuck up. -Okay, l'm quiet.

Shit. How am I gonna do this?

-Okay, Mikey? -Yeah?

Dude, there's no way you're coming across with your DAT on your belly, man.

-No way, man. -There's no chance.

How are we going to get the DAT across then? lt's really fucking hard, man.

-How are we gonna get the DAT across? -The one this morning with the moss was cool.

-This is slippery as shit. -How are we gonna get the DAT across? l don't know. Let me get out of here and put my pack down. l'll just go back and forth.

You want to go back and forth? You could do it that way. l didn't want to do this at all, but...

Okay, let's do...

Yeah, we'll do it back and forth.

What'd you drop? l didn't drop anything.

-The tree just broke on me. -The log broke.

Oh, fuck.

We're very, very, very close now.

You guys excited?

Okay.

What's this?

What is this?

Dude. Guys?

Do you remember something that Mary Brown said the other day?

What was the story from the Bible that she was telling us?

Fuck, I wasn't listening to her 'cause I thought she was a lunatic. lt was Esau, but it was something about a pile of rocks.

She was totally telling us about her rocks, man.

What the fuck was it about a pile of rocks?

Does anybody remember?

-"To live your life..." -This is like...

-"Live your life..." -Looks like an lndian burial ground, man.

See, I don't know if this counts. Three... Four...

Five... Six...

Seven.

Witches in days gone by were roasted just like my Vienna sausage.

Flames are licking you like the devil there, Josh.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale A tale of a fateful trip That started on this desert isle Aboard this tiny ship Yeah, but this ship has a good captain, not a fat, beer-guzzling guy in a blue shirt.

He wasn't beer-guzzling.

They had no beer on the island, man. lf they'd had beer, they would have had, like, big-ass orgies.

You're kind of like the Captain and Mike's kind of like your Gilligan.

-No offense. -That's all right. l mean that as a compliment. Gilligan was a funny guy.

The Captain was fat, though.

Well. Okay, let's call it a thin captain...

Let's not call it "the Captain" anymore, you illiterate TV people. lt's the Skipper.

-No more "captain." -Oh, my.

Here we are back at the rock again. The rock thing.

The cemetery deal. l just want to be careful not to get in the film shot.

lt certainly is odd.

You didn't just knock that over.

Please, tell me you didn't just knock that over. l just knocked it over.

That's not very nice.

Let me put it back.

Can't be too careful.

What did you think? lt was, you know, the same thing, only darker.

Yeah, pretty much. All right.

Bag it up, put it away.

Hello?

Shit. The light.

-We were sleeping. -Do you want this?

Just keep it by the opening in the tent.

Listen.

Hello?

lt's all around us.

That is fucking weird.

Michael, are you saying you're not coming down?

-l ain't going down there. -Why not?

Because l'm not. I don't hear shit...

Because you're fucking scared.

-Because I don't hear anything anymore. -Because you're fucking scared.

We heard... You could not deny hearing it.

Get your ass out. What's the big deal?

-This rain fucking blows, man. -l know. lt's raining very heavily.

Thank my mom for giving me rain gear for my 18th birthday.

God bless her.

What do you think that was last night?

-Personally? -Yeah. l think it was someone fucking with your head.

But nobody knows we're out here.

Yeah, but you ever see Deliverance?

Did you understand at all where I was coming from?

That I just wanted... Whatever it was, I didn't know...

-You were freaking out. You bugged me out. -l was freaking out. l woke up all of a sudden and shit's going down.

All I can think is, "l got to get it. I got to get it."

All I want it on... l want it on sound, I want it on 16. lf anything, if we can see anything, l want to see it on 16.

Well, it sounded to me like a bunch of people running around, and l'm not down with messing with the locals or whatever. l don't know who the hell would come out here.

What bugs me out is that we're so damn deep in the woods and people are going to try and...

And come out here and mess with us, then they got to have something wrong with them.

-And l'm not going to play with that. -How do we know it was people?

Well, even if it wasn't, l'm not going to play with that, either.

Fuck, man.

This has been a very long day.

A very wet, very long day.

Nobody's really speaking to me at the moment.

Dude, I don't remember a portion of this from walking in.

What? l don't remember a portion of this from walking in from the car.

Well, we have to go a little differently to get back, because we went around in a curve a little bit. l'm telling you guys, two more hours max. lf the way we came in was the fastest, why the fuck are we going back a different way?

Because we have to go around. We came...

That was the most direct way to hit our two locations.

Now, this is the most direct way back to the car.

-Seriously, really? -Yes. Seriously.

-You know exactly what's going on? -Yes.

Let's just keep going.

Yeah, we'll wait five minutes and do a map check.

All right.

Okay, we just did a map check and it seems like we're still pretty much on trail.

That's not what I said.

No, I think we're all right. Come on, let's just keep going.

We took a map reading. We just follow what the compass says.

We're going straight ahead. We're going that way. That way.

We are in the middle of nowhere.

We've been in the middle of nowhere for two days.

The car is parked in the middle of nowhere almost.

Like, look at this shit, man. This is nothing.

Okay, let's just keep going, all right?

-l think we should camp. -Get the fuck out of here.

Why? Because you don't know where we're going?

No, because I think we're still a ways off from the car and it's going to be getting dark real soon.

-Look, l'm not saying for certain... -We're not camping here.

-Get us home. Turn the camera off. -Maybe we're near the car.

-Get us home. -Give me the fucking map.

Give me the map. Heather, give me the map.

-Turn the camera off and give me the map. -Turn the camera off and get us home. l'm not turning the camera off. l want to mark this occasion.

-Give me the map. -The map is in my pocket.

You're going to have to wait a second.

-You want to see the map? -Goddamn! lf we keep our heads together, we'll be just fine.

-Fucking bullshit! -Mike, chill.

Just relax, Mike.

Don't fucking tell me to relax!

Let's walk up, find a tree to sit under or some shit, check the map...

Yes, can we find a place to sit to check the map, please?

-Are you happy? -l'm not happy, no.

But the car is not far.

We're just not going to be able to find it in the dark.

Are you absolutely, positively sure?

Yes. l'm so sorry, man.

We can probably still get the DAT back tomorrow.

We have to. We have to.

We will. We will.

We will get the DAT back before it's due back tomorrow. l've got to get the fucking camera back. l got to fucking work.

-Everything will get back tomorrow. -l got to work. l'm supposed to be at work tomorrow at 9:00, man.

-l know. -lt's fine.

-Let's just go to sleep. Let's go to sleep. -Let's camp. Let's just fucking camp, okay? l want to get it. l want to get it from inside the tent.

Whatever it was last night, it sounds like the same fucking thing.

Where's my boots? Fuck, it's cold.

Hello?

Oh, shit. lt's fucking freezing.

There.

What? l hear it. l don't hear shit.

You hear that?

Shit.

Hello?

Oh, fuck.

l think it's just a deer. lt could be deer, I guess. l don't fucking think it's deer, though, man. lt sounds exactly like the shit last night. lt's on all sides of us.

-lt's got to be just, like, a deer. -lt was a deer, man.

-l think it was a fucking... -lt wasn't like last night.

-Did you hear anything? -Yes! Fucking listen.

Okay, let's get it on DAT. Let's get it on DAT. Be quiet.

-Okay, it's on. -Okay.

Jesus Christ! What the fuck is that? Fuck!

lt's obviously not scared by our yelling.

-But it sounds like footsteps. -l know. That's a fucking person.

Mikey, l'm not seeing shit on video. l'm going to leave the rest for DAT, all right? l'm going to stay out here with you, though.

You got to fucking stay out here with me.

-l am, I am. -What time is it? ls it fucking anywhere near morning right now?

-Let's see... -Please say it's fucking 5:00 or some shit.

-3:00. -Fuck! This is bullshit.

This is absolutely fucking crazy. l'm sorry, Mike. We should be out of here already.

This has got nothing, nothing to do with what the fuck we're here for. l swear to God, this is bullshit.

Woke up this morning just, like, two seconds ago, and there are piles of rocks outside of our tent.

There are three, actually.

Are you seriously fucking positive those weren't there

-when we went to bed last night? -l am seriously fucking positive these were not here.

How would we have, like, just made a campsite in between three piles of rocks, just by coincidence?

You don't think this is strange?

This is way fucking weird, but it really doesn't matter at this point because all I want to do is get to the goddamn car.

Whatever it is, man... Whatever it is at this point... Whatever it is... l know, I know. We have to get back to the car.

-We're obviously not wanted here... -Okay, okay...

-...so let's get the hell out. -We're going home.

We have to go... We have to get the DAT back anyway.

-l realize that. That's what l'm saying. -Okay, let's go.

Let's get the DAT back. Let's get our shit packed up.

-We're out of here. We're out of here. -Let's walk.

-Can we just walk? -Yes. We're out of here.

Okay. Cool. l can't believe we have to leave just when shit's happening.

Heather, put the fucking camera down. Let's pack up the tent.

-Okay. Hang on. -Let's get the fuck out of the woods, okay?

-Come on. -No, l'm not fucking scared. l'm just tired, l'm hungry, l'm fucking, like... l'm just fucking done, man.

-All right. -l'm just fucking done.

Did you take it?

No, I didn't take the fucking map, man. l'm not playing head games. lf anyone's playing head games, you're playing head games.

But l'm not playing head games. l don't have it. We have to go. l'm serious. I don't have it.

-Are you fucking serious? -l'm fucking serious. l don't have the map, okay?

-Heather, that is so not cool, man. -l know it's not cool.

-That is so not cool. -l know it's not cool.

That is... That... l mean, that's the fucking, like, least responsible thing you could have possibly done, man. l know that.

You really don't have it?

-One of you have got to have the map. -No, I don't have the map.

We gave it back to you after map check yesterday.

You've always had the map. l know, and l've always had the map in the same place, and if it's not there, one of you had to have taken it. l'm not going into your fucking pants to get your goddamn map, man. l just checked my pocket, it's not in my pants.

Look, would I go in and get your map?

All I want to do is get out of here, man. l'm not fucking around.

-That's all I want, too, man. -Let's go.

No, you want to stay here, you want to film rocks, you want to look around, you want to fucking, like, -get this, you want to get that. -Let's go.

-Which way are we walking? -That way.

Dude, we're in the middle of the fucking woods!

We're in the middle of the goddamn woods. We can walk anyway...

We're going this way 'cause that's the way we've been going for a fucking day.

We're going this way, and that's it. We gotta come across something. l gave you the map, Josh.

-l gave you back the map, Heather. -l gave you the map. l gave you back the map.

-Let's just go. -All l'm saying is, we can move as fast as we want, but if we have no fucking clue where we're moving to, then it really doesn't matter, does it?

We're following the creek and Mike seems satisfied with that.

Would you guys stop it?

We are gone. We are fucked, we are done, we are dead, we're fucked.

l'm just going to stay here.

When you guys find somebody, tell them l'm under this tree with the vine.

All blame aside...

-This is really fucked up. -l know.

-Yeah. -l know.

We really, really, really need to work together.

-Exactly. Exactly. -l realize this.

Okay, so we deal with the fact that my camera's not going to be back, your DAT's not going to be back.

No blame from now on about that shit.

Look, serious, the area's not that fucking big.

Exactly. lt's very hard to get lost in America these days, and it's even harder to stay lost.

So, we have that on our side. What?

We're doing a pretty goddamn good job of being lost.

Because at this point, when you're not home today, when l'm not home today, people are going to start noticing.

Like, my girlfriend is definitely going to notice that l'm not back today, and that I haven't fucking called. l mean, if I called, it would be one thing.

But, you know, if I just get back, like, don't get back, period, and I don't call, she's going to notice.

Which means that by tonight, if we haven't found shit, someone's going to be looking for us.

Oh, no.

Don't come this way. Go another way.

Go down there. I just got my whole shit wet.

Oh, shit. Well, let's try it this way. l don't think you want to try this way. l think you want to try the other way. lf we didn't have these fucking packs, it would be so much easier.

-l don't mean to laugh. -Dude, my feet are wet.

Are you... ls that Michael laughing?

-Shut the fuck up and cross the stream. -He's laughing.

Michael, that is the first time l've heard you laugh in days.

l'm really happy you find it very amusing that l'm going to be incredibly uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Dude, uncomfortable just does not even...

Can we keep going, please?

No, we're going to chill out. l thought you wanted to get to the car.

Oh, boy!

-Okay, come on. Let's get up here. -Oh, shit.

You guys weren't lying to me about the map, were you?

'Cause this just seems like you guys are having just a little bit too much fun for my taste.

-Heather. -No, we're just going a little stir-crazy.

Heather, Heather, if you make me yell at this point, l'm going to have to yell at you, man.

Come on, seriously, if you have the map, l just want to know that you have it.

That would just make me happy, just to know that you have it.

Heather... lf I know that you have it, and I can at least see it, l will feel much better.

Like, all we're trying to do is be cool with you. l find it very cool that I get laughed at because my shoes are wet for the rest of the day. l find it fucking hilarious.

Heather, dude, all our shoes are wet. We were laughing at the situation.

-Fine. -We're fucking hungry, we're fucking tired.

What the hell else are we supposed

-to do at this point? -You know what? l kicked the... l'm sorry, it's fucked up, it's fucked up.

But I kicked that fucking map into the creek yesterday. lt was useless. l kicked that fucker into the creek.

l fucking hope he's kidding.

-Mike? -Holy shit.

-l really fucking hope he's kidding. -Mike, are you kidding?

-l really fucking hope he's kidding. -Mike, are you fucking kidding? l'm sorry, man. l'm sorry.

You've got to be kidding me.

-You have got to fucking be kidding me! -You think this is a fucking game?

-Get the fuck off me, man. -What the fuck?

Are you out of your fucking mind?

No, l'm not out of my mind! That map wasn't doing shit for us.

Do you realize... Not to you, -but I knew what the fuck that map said! -l'm sorry!

-You are a fucking asshole! -l'm sorry.

-You're a fucking asshole! And if we... -That map wasn't doing shit all day! lf we get hurt or we die out here, it's your fucking fault! lt is your fucking fault! Do you understand? l can't believe you could be such an asshole!

-What the fuck were you thinking? -You're just fucking with my shit here!

Okay, no... l'm not, l'm not...

-That map was useless! -lf this was your own...

-That map was useless! -lt was useless to you!

Okay... Okay.

This is not why I brought you out here, man.

-Okay. Okay. -l'm sorry about the map, man.

-What can I say? -"Sorry"?

-The map wasn't doing shit. -Please, just don't say "sorry."

The map was not worth shit to you. l knew exactly

-where we were on that map. -lt wasn't worth shit to both of you.

-l asked you... -l knew exactly where we were

-on that map! -Listen to me!

Yesterday, I asked you what fucking river we were on...

You shut up or l'm going to fucking stick your head...

Turn this fucking camera off!

Give me the compass.

You've betrayed us all beyond... Way fucking beyond...

-Bullshit, man. -Give me the compass.

You betrayed us when you couldn't get us out of the woods last night.

Yeah, thanks.

-Can I hold the fucking compass now? -No!

-Can I hold the fucking compass? -No. l bought the compass.

-lf you wanted a compass... -l don't give a shit.

You should have bought your own fucking compass.

You fucked us up. He fucked us up.

-l don't know why you can't admit... -Let's just keep walking south.

...that you've been screwed from the moment we got out here, man.

Because I haven't! Because I haven't.

Why are we stopped?

-Does... Does anybody have a... -Just don't. Just don't.

Does anybody have a reason why we're stopped?

That's all l'm asking you.

What about the plan to keep going south? We all seemed very happy with that plan.

Why is that not a thing anymore?

Jesus Christ.

-What? -There's all sorts of stuff down here!

-What kind of stuff? -Like, voodoo shit.

-What? -Like, voodoo stuff.

-lt's hanging all over. Look around you. -No way.

-They're all over the place. -Holy shit.

Come up here, quick! I need to use the CP.

Yeah, there's all sorts of shit up here, man.

This is fucking crazy shit.

-Please, I got to get this on 16. -Take the fucking camera.

-What the fuck is this? -l have no idea.


Jesus Christ, that's fucking creepy.

This is no redneck. No redneck is this creative.

-Can we get out of here now? -Yeah, please?

Okay, l've got everything on video, man.

Jesus Christ, I didn't even fucking see these, man.

That's it, Heather.

Heather, you've got enough, man. Let's go.

-That's enough! -Stop taping! Please, stop taping!

-We've got it! lt's enough! -Okay.

Okay, okay, okay, we're leaving right now.

Okay. Okay, we're out of here. We're out of here. l'm leaving.

Come on! Turn it off!

Help! Help!

Please, help us!

Help us!

This is not the way to get out of here.

Fuck! l think it's safe to say at this point that we're lost, and I don't know what to do. l think we should all get inside the tent.

All right.

Let's not light a fire tonight.

-Yeah. -Because two nights in a row we've lit a fire.

We didn't light one the first night...

-And nothing happened. -...and nothing happened.

We light fires, they know. l haven't heard anything follow us.

-We should even turn that light off, too. -All right. All right.

Seriously, man. Anything that's going to attract attention to us at this point.

Okay. Let's just go to sleep.

What's going on?

Oh, God.

What's that sound?

Jesus!

-Jesus Christ, what if it's... -What was that?

-Jesus Christ. -l'm going to put jeans on.

Jesus! Jesus!

Take the video camera. No, get the DAT ready. l'm going to take the video camera. l'm gonna record this shit.

Oh, dear God! Oh, dear God!

Go! Fucking go!

Oh, God!

God! Fucking God!

-Hurry up! -l'm coming!

My boots aren't laced.

Oh, my God! What the fuck is that?

What the fuck is that?

Shit!

Oh, my God!

Mike, where are you going?

Holy shit.

Turn the lights off. Turn the lights off.

Turn that light off. Turn it off, Josh.

All lights off. All lights off.

-l'm soaking. -lt's okay.

What's that? What the fuck is going on?

What the fuck is going on?

Did you hear that baby screaming?

Shut the fuck up. There's no fucking baby out there.

-Yes, there was. -There's no fucking baby out there.

Okay. Okay. Okay. l haven't heard anything since we ran away.

Oh, my God, it's cold.

-We should be quiet, okay? -Okay, okay.

We should be quiet.

l don't hear anything anymore. Maybe we should go back.

How long have we been here? l don't know. A fucking hour.

The sun's up. We're okay now.

Let's just get back. Let's pack shit up.

-Let's get out. -Okay.

What the fuck, man?

-Where's my pack? -Your pack is right there. Where's my pack?

What the fuck, man?

How come we're getting fucked with like this?

They just opened it up.

-They spilled all my fucking water. -That looks like slime, man. lt's just water, man.

-lt is slime. What the fuck is that? -lt's slime, dude.

Let's get this shit packed up and get out of here.

-Come on, Heather. Turn that thing off. -Heather, come on, let's go.

Heather, let's move it. l'm not interested in anything anymore. Let's go.

-l know! I know! -So, turn it off.

Just relax for just a second. Have we gotten everything here?

-Like I give a shit. -Whose shit was thrown around?

-Who specifically? -lt's my shit!

-My shit. -Why you?

Let's go! Let's go. Are you not scared enough?

No, but why you?

-Put the camera down. This is not funny. -l'm coming.

Do I look like l'm laughing at all?

No, but you're going around doing your documentary thing, man.

-You're still doing your fucking thing. -Don't fucking...

Then turn the goddamn thing off! lf you bite me one more time, l will throw you in the fucking woods.

You touch my camera one more time, -l'll bite you again. -Turn that thing off!

-Sorry. -l didn't mean it, okay?

-Are you all right? -l'm fine. I just... l want to go home, but it's important... l just want to get what we can.

What the fuck? ls this possible?

Okay, all right.

Here I go. l hate crossing streams on logs. lf I never cross another stream on a log for the rest of my life, l will die a happy girl. l see why you like this video camera so much.

-You do? -lt's not quite reality.

Reality says we got to move.

No, but it's totally like a filtered reality, man. lt's like you can pretend everything's not quite the way it is.

Just leave him alone for now.

-We need to go. -Just leave him alone for five minutes.

-Mike... -Just leave him alone.

Five minutes. Come on. He's lost it. l know that, but we're all on the brink

-of losing it. -l know we are.

-We got to take care of each other. -l know.

And there's no way we're taking care of him if we're going to throw the camera in his face if he's crying.

-l know that. -l know you know. l know we're both about to lose it, -but let's try and keep the last wits we have. -We have to... l understand we have to go. Believe me, I know. lt's hard for all of us to hold it together. We need to get out of here

-in one piece, and this is not helping. -l know this.

You're not telling me anything I don't know.

-Just let him have his... -Does anybody have a cigarette?

-No, man. -No, there's none left.

Nobody has any cigarettes?

We're out.

What the fuck was this blue jelly shit all over my shit?

Let's go. Let's go. lf we keep going south, we will get out.

Please. l don't want to set up camp another fucking night, man.

-Josh, none of us do. -l know. I know you don't.

Whatever it is, is going to come back. We know that for a fact.

We don't know that for a fact. lt came three nights in a row, and it's getting worse every night. l would love to hear this right now. l really would. l'm just trying to say that, you know, we have to

-rationally say... -l know.

They might very well go on forever compared to our footsteps.

Not possible.

-Not possible in this country. -Why is it not possible?

Because this is America and it's not possible.

We've destroyed most of our natural resources.

Let's just keep going.

No, that's the tree we crossed. That tree is down. That's the same one.

-Oh, God! -No. Oh, no.

You've got to be kidding me! This is a joke!

-No... -This is not funny!

Mike, just please stop.

Please... Please stop.

Please stop.

-Please stop. -Oh, no!

No. No, Mike, it's not the same log.

-lt's not the same log, Mike. -lt's the same one!

-Look, it's not. -lt is! Open your eyes! lt's not the same log. lt's not... lt's not the same log.

Fuck.

-Fuck! -lt's the same log.

-Fuck! -Fuck! lt's the same log.

Fuck you, God! lt's the same log.

Okay. lt's okay. lt's okay.

Where do you want to go to camp? l guess today south didn't work out, so tomorrow we'll go east. l don't know what to say, Josh.

How the fuck did we walk south all day and wind up...

We've walked south all day, okay? We walked south all fucking day. l don't know how we ended up here.

Do you expect me to do something or say something?

What do you want to do, Josh?

Josh?

l want to make movies, Heather. lsn't that what we're here to do?

-Let's make some movies. -Fuck you.

Fuck you. Really. Fuck you.

Please, let's not fight. Please.

Come on, I can't. I can't listen to fighting. l can't fight.

We're screwed and that's it. Please stop fighting.

Both of you. l'll do the first watch. l got first watch.

-Come on, you can do better than that. -This is not the place or the time, guys.

-We have things to prepare for here. -Okay, here's your motivation.

You're lost, you're angry in the woods, and no one here is here to help you.

There's a fucking witch and she keeps leaving shit

-outside your door. -Josh.

There's no one here to help you. She left little trinkets.

-Josh. -You fucking took one of them.

She ran after us. There's no one here to help you.

-Josh! -We walked for 15 hours today.

We ended up in the same place.

-There's no one here to help you. -Just stop.

-Josh! -That's your motivation!

Would you please stop?

That's your motivation.

-Please stop. -Josh. Just quit it.

-She's had enough. -Please stop.

Come on, man, you got her back. Good one.

No, she's still making movies, man. That's my point.

-Please stop. -This is my point here. lt's all I fucking have left, okay? Just please stop.

Please stop.

Just please stop yelling at me, please.

Come on, l'm fucking tired of crying all day here.

We got to think like human beings. We have things to prepare for.

We got to make shifts. We got lots to do.

You going to write us a happy ending, Heather?

Come on, man, turn it off.

You're getting like she was. Come on, turn it off.

Dude, I can't believe we're even stitching those pants at this point, man.

Well, l'm cold, man.

-l know. -l hear you.

-l know. -The smallest comforts we can get are good.

Doesn't it just seem absurd, though, at this point?

Yes, it does.

A lot of things seem absurd.

Like sleeping right where we were pretty much sleeping last night.

That's just fucking me up, period.

That's just fucked up, man. That's just...

-l'm sorry, man. -You chill. lt's all right.

-l'm sorry, Heather. -lt's okay.

Who wants a cheeseburger? l do. I do.

-l got a cheeseburger in my back pocket. -Do you?

Can I have a light to cut this?

-You know what I fucking love? -What?

Mashed potatoes.

Me, too.

My mom's mashed potatoes.

You'll have them again very soon.

My mom's mashed potatoes and a piece of ass.

Josh!

Fuck, Mike, we never go out of earshot.

-Josh! -Hold on, calm down.

How could l...

Josh!

He's probably at the river or something. lf he was at the river, he could hear me from here.

-Josh! -Josh!

Got to wait for him to respond.

-Do you remember what he said yesterday? -What?

About the shit on his bag, about how...

Josh!

Let's go. We got to find him.

-Come on. -We can't even find the car!

How the fuck are we going to find Josh?

Heather, come on.

-No. No. -Come on, come on.

-l'm fine. -Come here, come on.

Relax, relax.

All right, we'll relax. We'll break down the tent.

When he's back, we'll be ready to go, okay? l'm losing my mind, Mike.

-Josh hasn't come back. -Heather!

-l'm over here, Mike. -Okay. l don't know if Josh ran off. I don't...

All his shit's here. l've got the camera. l don't know how the fuck l'm going to hike with that camera, but...

You sure you want to take the fucking camera?

We've got to take the camera.

How do you feel about east?

Well, south didn't work.

Which wicked witch was worse, The Wicked Witch of the East or The Wicked Witch of the West?

The Wicked Witch of the West was the bad one.

Well, let's go east.

What the hell's that?

Josh?

Josh!

We're going to put up the tent now.

l'm going to have a meatball.

-Just one meatball? -And a long, red glass of wine.

Yeah, I would definitely have a whole fucking bottle of Bordeaux.

And a fresh pack of smokes.

Smokes would be good, and a long, hot bath.

And a big pumpkin pie.

A big pumpkin pie. With ice cream?

-Warm, with melty ice cream. -Yeah, that sounds good.

What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday? lt used to be drive to the woods and go hiking.

But I think that...

-That might change now. -l think you can scratch that off.

Oh, God.

Should we go for him? ls it a trick?

Josh?

Josh!

-lt's stopped. -Josh!

Where's it coming from?

Josh!

Josh, where are you? Tell me where you are!

Oh, my God!

No.

Fuck. Oh, God.

Do you think that it's them fucking with us? l don't know.

Josh!

-ls it over here? -No, it's over here.

Josh!

We'll look for him.

l don't know if it's really him. l don't know if it's really him.

Josh!

l don't even know where to look.

Josh!

Tell me where you are, Josh!

Mike?

-Please don't fall asleep. -l can't fall asleep.

Whatever it is, knows that Josh is gone.

lf that was Josh, he would have said where he was.

Whatever it was, sounded like Josh.

See. l just want to show that Mike is here.

He's sleeping.

Oh, shit.

What the hell is that?

-Mike? -What?

There's something out here.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay, l'm just going to move it from the front of the tent.

-Get rid of it. -Okay. l'm taking it away. l'm taking it away from the front of the tent. l'm just throwing it.

Okay.

We'll just keep walking.

-Okay? -Okay.

-Just keep walking. -Okay. l found some cigarettes. l found them all the way at the bottom of my pack.

Which means we're still alive, 'cause we're smoking.

Okay.


l'm just going to undo this very quietly and see what's in here.

lt's all full of blood.

No.


Shit. Shit.

Shit.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Okay, see? Okay...

Yeah?

-What are you doing? -l'm okay. l'm just washing my hands off.

-What? -l'm just washing my hands off. l'm fine. l'm going to put my gloves on... l'm going to put my gloves on my hands. l'm going to put my gloves on my hands. l'm going to put my gloves on my hands.

-You all right? -l'm okay. l'm okay.

Okay. l'm okay. l'm okay.

-You need help? -No, no. No, I don't need any help. l'm okay.

-What happened? -Nothing. Nothing happened. l'm just very hungry and l'm very tired and l'm very scared

-and I just want to go home, okay? -Okay.

But l'm fine, and we're both okay.

Okay.

My hair's caught.

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.


2, 130 games, one more season and Cal Ripken is king!

Cal Ripken is king!

And I won't get to see it

'cause I'll be in the woods!

Tell me you're not eating a dry leaf.

l just want to apologize to Mike's mom and Josh's mom and my mom...

And l'm sorry to everyone. l was very naive.

l am so, so sorry for everything that has happened because in spite of what Mike says now, it is my fault because it was my project and I insisted. l insisted on everything. l insisted that we weren't lost. l insisted that we keep going. l insisted that we walk south.

Everything had to be my way and this is where we've ended up.

And it's all because of me that we're here now, hungry and cold and hunted.

l love you, Mom and Dad.

l am so sorry.

What is that?

l'm scared to close my eyes. l'm scared to open them.

Oh, God. l'm going to die out here.

-You got it? -You ready?

Somebody!

-Jesus Christ. -Please don't go out there.

-Okay. -You ready?

Here, take this light.

Please! lt's okay. lt can't be him.


Please, follow my voice!

Holy shit. lt's a house.

-Holy shit. -Watch your step.

Holy shit. Holy shit.


Josh?

Mike. Mike. Mike.

-Mike? -Come on.

Mike, where the fuck are you?

Come on. ln the house.

Mike, do not go in there, please.

Mike.

Mike?

Mike!

Mike, please.

-Mike, where are you? -l'm right here!

-Where is he? -Mike, please don't do this.

-ls he in here? -No.

Jesus.

Where is he?

Do we go upstairs? l hear him. I hear him. l hear you! Josh?

l'm going upstairs!

Oh, God.

You hear that?

Where is he? Where are you?

Come on. Josh?

l hear him downstairs.

Come on! I hear him downstairs!

-Mike! -Come on!

-Mike! -Josh!

Wait!

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

-Josh? -Mike!

-Josh, is that you down there? -Mike!

Mike!

Josh.

Mike!