The Blues Brothers (1980) Script

The Assistant Warden wants this one out of the block early.

Wants to get it over with fast.

Okay, let's do it.

Psst! Hey.

Come on, wake up, it's time.

Wake up. Let's go, it's time.


Well, this is it.

7474505B.

What wing? Maximum wing, Block 9.

Standard release?

Parole, three out of five. Good behavior.

Give me a minute.


One Timex digital watch, broken.

One unused prophylactic.

One soiled.

Boots, black. Belt, black.

One black suit jacket.

One pair black suit pants.

One hat. Black.

One pair of sunglasses.

$23.07.

Sign here.


What's this?

What?

This car.

This stupid car.

Where's the Cadillac?

The Caddy. Where's the Caddy?

The what?

The Cadillac we used to have.

The Bluesmobile.

I traded it.

You traded the Bluesmobile for this?

No, for a microphone.

A microphone?

Okay, I can see that.

What the hell is this?

This was a bargain.

I picked it up at the Mount Prospect City Police Auction last spring.

It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving them away.

Well, thank you, pal.

The day I get out of prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car.


You don't like it?

No, I don't like it.

Car's got a lot of pickup.

It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic-inch plant.

It's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks.

It was a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas.

What do you say?

Is it the new Bluesmobile, or what?

Fix the cigarette lighter.


What are we doing here?

You promised you'd visit the Penguin the day you got out.

Yeah. So, I lied to her.

You can't lie to a nun.

We gotta go in and visit the Penguin.

No fucking way.


Who is it?

Jake and Elwood.

Come in.

Hello, boys.

Nice to see you.

Please, have a seat.

No, boys. Come over here in front of me.

I want to see your faces.

The county took a tax assessment of this property last month.

They want $5,000.

Doesn't the Church have to pay that?

They would, if they were interested in keeping the place.

But they aren't.

The Archbishop wants to sell this building outright to the Board of Education.

What's gonna happen to you?

I'll be sent to the missions: Africa, Latin America, Korea... Forget it.

$5,000? No problem.

We'll have it for you in the morning. Let's go.

No. I will not take your filthy, stolen money!

Well, then.

I guess you're really up shit creek.

I beg your pardon. What did you say?

I offered to help you.

You refused to take our money.

Then I said, "I guess you're really up shit creek. "

Ow! Christ, Jake, take it easy, man.

Elwood!

Jesus Christ!

Shit! Goddamn it!

Son of a bitch!

Jesus Christ. You son of a bitch!

You fat penguin!

Fuck this noise, man!

You are such a disappointing pair.

I prayed so hard for you.

It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments, have returned to me as two thieves with filthy mouths and bad attitudes.

Get out! And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves.

Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way.

Jake, Elwood.

Curtis! Hey, man!

You look fine, man!

Good to see you, man!

Hey, buy you boys a drink?

Boys, things are bad.

They gonna sell this place to the Board of Education and I'll be out on the street.

That money's got to be in the Cook County Assessor's Office within 11 days.

They wouldn't turn you out, would they?

Shit. What's one more old nigger to the Board of Education?

Curtis, you and the Penguin are the only family we got.

You're the only one that was ever good to us singing Elmore James tunes and blowing the harp for us down here.

Well, the sister was right.

You boys could use a little churching up.

Slide on down to the Triple Rock and catch Rev. Cleophus.

You boys listen to what he's got to say.

Curtis,

I don't want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about heaven and hell.

Jake, you get wise. You get to church.

All I'm saying is we got to figure out some way to get that money honestly.

That could be a problem.

It's like the Penguin says.

We've got to make that move towards redemption.

We got to go to church.

We've got to make that move towards redemption.

We got to go to church.

Bullshit.

Come on.


And now, this week's sermon is from our beloved, the Rev. Cleophus James!

James.

Come on, Reverend! Come on, preacher.

And now, people.

Take your time!

And now, people.

When I woke up this morning

I heard a disturbing sound.

Yeah.

I said, when I woke up this morning I heard a disturbing sound!

What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls!

I'm talking about the souls of mortal men and women departed from this life!

Wait a minute!

Those lost, anguished souls roaming unseen over the earth, seeking the divine light they'll not find, because it's too late!

Too late! Yeah! Too late for them to ever see again the light they once chose not to follow. All right!

Don't be lost when your time comes!

"For the day of the Lord cometh

"as a thief in the night. "

Amen.

Say Amen!

Can I get Amen?

Let Us an All go back To the old Old landmark Let us an all go back To the old Old landmark Let us all all go back To the old Old landmark As we stay in the service of the Lord Let us kneel Kneel in prayer Gonna hold Hold my breath Let us kneel Kneel in prayer Gonna hold Hold my breath Let us feel Feel that prayer Kneel in prayer

Let us preach Preach the word Got to preach Preach the word all the way

Do it, know it, feel it

Let us preach Preach the word Got to preach Preach the word all the way

Let's go All the way Yea, Lord Gonna preach Yeah, Lord

Yeah Yeah, Lord Let's go All the way To the old Old landmark Let's go All the way To the old Old landmark Let's go All the way To the old Old landmark

Yeah I know

Jake, are you all right?

Oh, Child Say it loud

Hallelujah

The band.

The band.

Do you see the light?

The band!

Do you see the light?

What light?

Have you seen the light?

Yes! Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ!

I have seen the light!


The band, Elwood, the band!

The band?

The band.

Band.

The band!

Praise God!

And God bless the United States of America.

All go back To the old Old landmark Let us all All go back To the old Old landmark Let us all All go back To the old Old landmark Do it, know ft, feel it

Gonna go back All go back Gonna go back All go back Gonna go back All go back Gonna go back All go back Gonna go back All go back Gonna go back Stay in the service of the Lord

Yea, Lord


We'll put the band back together, do a few gigs.

We get some bread. Bang. $5,000.

Yeah, getting the band back together might not be that easy, Jake.

What are you talking about?

They split. They all took straight jobs.

Yeah? So you know where they are.

You said you were keeping in touch with them.

I got a couple of leads, a few phone numbers.

But I mean, how many of them visited or even wrote you, huh?

They're not the kind of guys who write letters.

You were outside. I was inside.

You were supposed to keep in touch with the band.

I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.

What was I gonna do, take away your only hope?

Take away the very thing that kept you going in there?

I took the liberty of bullshitting you. Okay?

You lied to me.

It wasn't lies. It was just bullshit.

What?

Rollers. No.

Yeah.


What? What did I do?

You failed to stop at a red signal.

The light was yellow, sir.

May I see your license, please?

God damn it!

Man, I haven't been pulled over in six months.

I bet those cops have got SCMODS.

SCMODS?

State County Municipal Offender Data System.


Elwood, we show your license currently under suspension.

Step out of the car, please.


First you trade the Cadillac for a microphone. Then you lie to me about the band.

Now you're gonna put me right back in the joint.

They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.

Elwood.

We are in high-speed pursuit northbound on Courtland Avenue.

Black-and-white 1974 Dodge sedan with Illinois plates.

Request assistance.


We'll be all right if we can just get back on the expressway.

This don't look like no expressway to me!

Don't yell at me.

What do you want me to do, motorhead?

Try not to be so negative all the time.

Why don't you offer some constructive criticism?

You got us into this parking lot, pal.

Now you get us out!

You want out of this parking lot? Okay.

Will there be anything else?

Yes. Do you have a Miss Piggy?

There's Hanson Burgers.

Yeah, lots of space in this mall.

Disco pants and haircuts.

Yeah.


Baby clothes.

This place has got everything.

New Oldsmobiles are in early this year.


Pier 1 imports.


They broke my watch!

I'm gonna catch that sucker if it's the last thing I ever do.


Nice place, huh?


Hey, Sam.

Hey, Lloyd.

Anybody call for me on the phone?

No. No calls.

Some guy left this card. Cop. Said he'd be back.

This here's my brother, Jake. He just got out of the joint.

He's gonna be staying with me for a few weeks.

Yeah. Okay.

Did you get me my Cheez Whiz, boy?


Well, it ain't much, but it's home.

How often does the train go by? So often you won't even notice it.


What are you doing? Making dinner. Want some?

No.

Tomorrow we got to get the band back together.

I'm gonna quit work in the morning, first thing.

And how are you going to get to work, Mr. Lead Foot, Mr. Hot Redder, Mr. Motor Head?

Those cops took your license away.

They got your name, your address.

No, they don't got my address.

I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.

1060 West Addison?

That's Wrigley Field.

I gotta hit the sack.

Hey, you sleaze! My bed!


This, gentlemen, is the elegant abode of one Elwood Blues.

Thanks for your help, Mr. Mercer.

I kind of like the Wrigley Field bit.

Yeah, real cute.

All right, Sam?

Hi, has my friend arrived yet?

Failed to report in yesterday.

I don't want no trouble.

You just tell us where they are and there'll be no trouble.

Stand back.


It's almost 9:00. We've gotta go to work.


Well, Elwood, sit down.

What's on your mind?

I got to quit.

Why is that, Elwood?

I'm going to become a priest.

Well, okay.

Listen, I'll call payroll and have them get your severance pay ready.

Good luck.

God bless you, sir. Well, thank you.

What's this?

This is the last known address of "Bones" Malone and "Blue Lou" Marini.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Yeah.


Mrs. Toronto?

Tarantino.

Ma'am, do you have a Thomas Malone or Louis Marini living here?

Not anymore. They moved out a long time ago.

I don't take in boarders, not for a long time.

May we come in, ma'am? Please.

Did they leave a forwarding address? A phone number?

No.

Did they live quietly? What were their personal habits?

They were good boys but they made a lot of racket at night.

Are you the police?

No, ma'am. We're musicians.

Mr. Man!

Mr. Man!

Mr. Man!

Yes, ma'am?

They left this card. Maybe it'll help you?

Thanks.


Thank you. You're marvelous.

You're marvelous. Thank you.

I'm Murph, and these are the Magic Tones.

Steve "The Colonel" Cropper, Donald "Duck" Dunn, Willie "Too Big" Hall and Tom "Bones" Malone.

We'll be back for the Armada Room's two-hour disco swing party after this short break.

Till then, don't you go changing.

So, Jake, you're out. You're free. You're rehabilitated.

What's next? What's happening? What you gonna do?

You got the money you owe us, motherfucker?

Look, let's just get something straight here...

The reason he got locked in the slam in the first place was for sticking up a gas station to cover you guys.

You're kidding.

He pulled that job to pay for the band's room-service tab from that Kiwanis gig in Coal City.

You did? That's right.

So I don't want to hear anymore of this small-change shit.

We're putting the band back together.

Now, who here at this table can honestly say that they played any finer or felt any better than they did than when they were with the Blues Brothers?

You were the backbone.

The nerve center of a great rhythm-and-blues band.

You can make that live, breathe and jump again.

"Murph and the Magic Tones?"

Look at you in those candy-ass monkey suits.

And I thought I had it bad in Joliet.

At least we got a change in clothes, sucker.

You're wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.

Jake ain't lying.

We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.

We'll never get that fat sound again. Not without some more horns.

We'll never get Mr. Fabulous.

Where is he? Forget it.

Mr. Fabulous is the top maitre d' at the Chez Paul.

He's pulling down six bills a week.

Matt Murphy got married.

Where is Matt "Guitar" Murphy?

He opened a soul food restaurant with his old lady on Maxwell Street.

And he took Blue Lou with him.

You'll never get Matt and Mr. Fabulous out of them high-paying gigs.

Oh, yeah?

Well, me and the Lord, we got an understanding.

We're on a mission from God.

Mainly French cuisine.

No, sir. Mayor Daley no longer dines here.

He's dead, sir.

Private dining rooms are available.

Oh, no. I thought it was supposed to be 5 years.

Didn't you get 5 years? Uh, no, sir, not you.

And your name, sir?

Rizzolo, for 8 at 11:30. Thank you.

Mr. Fabulous, how marvelous it is to see you.

You're looking younger than ever.

Wait. You guys can't come in here.

Oh, nonsense, my dear fellow.

My brother and I have come to dine to celebrate my early release from the service of the state.

Wait. Let's talk outside.

Let's have a cup of coffee outside.

Why, heavens, no.

We seek a full meal and all the compliments of the house.

Come, Elwood.

Let us adjourn ourselves to the nearest table and overlook this establishment's board of fare.

Good evening. Chez Paul. Wait! Hey!

Uh, sir, do you mind calling back in about five minutes, please?


I'm sure, we'll have a table for you in just a few moments.

Excuse me, won't you?

Give us a bottle of your finest champagne, five shrimp cocktails and some bread for my brother.

We have a Dom Perignon, '71, at $120.

That'll be fine, pal.

Come on. Seriously, you guys, the food here is really expensive.

The soup is fucking $10.

Come on. Let's go outside. I'll buy you a cup of coffee.

We're putting the band back together.

Forget it. No way.

We're on a mission from God.

Hold it, hold it. What's this?

Waiter? Sir?

Please, waiter?

Yes, sir? How are your salads?

The salads are fine.

It's just that we'd like to move to another table, away from those two gentlemen.

Why? Have they been disturbing you? No.

It's just that, well, frankly, they're offensive... smelling.

I mean, they smell bad.

Excuse me, sir. I'll see if I can locate another table for you.

Thank you.

Wrong glass, sir.


How much for the little girl?

The women? How much for the women?

What?

Your women, I want to buy your women.

The little girl. Your daughters.

Sell them to me.

Sell me your children.

Maitre d'! Maitre d'!

Hey, cut it out, cut it out.

The owners are gonna ask me to call the cops.

You wouldn't do that to me, would you, man?

He just got out of Joliet.

He's on parole.

You can't call the cops on him, man. We're putting the band back together.

I said no. Absolutely not!

You! How much for your wife?

We're putting the band back together.

We need you, man. We need your horn.

I can't. I really can't.

We got everybody except Matt "Guitar" Murphy and Blue Lou and we're getting them next.

No way.

If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day of the week.

Okay, okay. I'll play. You got me.


White men!

White women!

The swastika is calling you!

The sacred and ancient symbol of your race since the beginning of time.

The Jew is using the black as muscle against you.

And you are left there, helpless.

Fuck you! Why don't you go back where you belong?

What are you gonna do about it, Whitey?

Just sit there?

Go back where you came from!

Of course not!

Son of a bitch!

You are going to join with us, the members of the American Socialist White People's Party. ' an organization of decent, law-abiding white folk just like you.

Blow it out your ass, you bastards!

Go to hell!

I pledge allegiance to Adolf Hitler.

I pledge allegiance to Adolf Hitler.

The immortal leader of our race.

The immortal leader of our race.

To the order for which he stands.

And to the order for which he stands.

One great cause. One great cause.

Sacred and invincible. Sacred and invincible.

Hey, what's going on?

Those bums won their court case, so they're marching today.

What bums?

The fucking Nazi Party.

Illinois Nazis.

I hate Illinois Nazis.

Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler!

Ten hut!

Gruppenführer!

Yes, sir!

Gruppenführer, get that car's license plate number.

We're gonna kill that son of a bitch.

Boom, boom, DOOITI, DOOITI

Come on home, babe

Oh, come on home Oh, come on home, come on home to me, babe I love you I love you Come on come on, come on

Oh, come on home Come on, I love ya Hold me

I know I love you I love you

Look out

When she walk that walk And talk that talk And whisper in my ear Tell me that she love me I love that talk That baby talk When she talk like that I can't take it like that Haw, haw, haw, haw Hey, hey, yeah Come on home, pretty babe Walk your walk Talk your talk Talk your talk, baby Talk

Yeah.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

That was Boom Boom, the song that I wrote, back in the '50s No, you didn't.

...was such a big hit.

No, you didn't! No, you didn't!

I wrote Boom Boom. I wrote Boom Boom.

Can I help you, boys?

You got any white bread?

Yes.

I'll have some toasted white bread, please.

You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?

No, ma'am. Dry.

Got any fried chicken?

Best damn chicken in the state. Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.

You want chicken wings or chicken legs? Four fried chickens and a Coke.

And some dry white toast, please.

You all want anything to drink with that? No, ma'am. - A Coke.

Be up in a minute.

We got two honkies out there dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants.

Say what?

They look like they're from the CIA or something.

What they wanna eat?

The tall one wants white bread. Toast.

Dry. With nothing on it.

Elwood!

And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.

And Jake! Shit! The Blues Brothers!

Hi, Jake.

Matt! How you doing?

How you doing? How was Joliet?

Oh, it's bad.

On Thursday night they serve a wicked pepper steak.

Can't be as bad as the cabbage rolls at the Terre Haute Federal Pen.

Or that oatmeal at the Cook County Slammer. They're all pretty bad.

Matt! Me and Elwood, we're putting the band back together. We need you and Blue Lou.

Oh, man. Don't talk that way around here.

My old lady, she'll kill me.

Ma'am, you gotta understand.

This is a lot bigger than any domestic problems you might be experiencing.

Matt, what the hell is he talking about? Don't get riled, sugar.

Don't you, "don't get riled, sugar" me!

Now, you not going back on the road no more.

And you ain't playing any more two-bit, sleazy dives.

You're living with me now. And you're not gonna go sliding around with your old white hoodlum friends.

But, babes! This is Jake and Elwood!

The Blues Brothers!

The Blues Brothers!

They still owe you money, fool!

Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we're asking Matt here to do is a holy thing?

You see, we're on a mission from God.

Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here!

Now, this is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are gonna just walk right out that door, without your dry, white toast, without your four fried chickens and without Matt "Guitar" Murphy!

Now, you listen to me! I love you.

But I'm the man and you're the woman.

And I'll make the decisions concerning my life!

You better think about what you saying.

You better think about the consequences of your actions.

Oh, shut up, woman!

You better think Think Think about what you're trying to do to me Yeah, think Think, think Let your mind go Let yourself be free Let's go back Let's go back Let's go way on back when I didn't even know you You couldn't have been too much more than 10 Just a child I ain't no psychiatrist I ain't no doctor with degrees It don't take too much high IQ to see what you're doing to me You better think Think Think about what you're trying to do to me Think Think, think Let your mind go Let yourself be free Oh, freedom Freedom Freedom Freedom Freedom Yeah, freedom Right now, freedom Freedom Freedom Freedom Freedom Oh, freedom right now Hey, think about it You, think about it There ain't nothing you could ask I could answer you, but I won't But I was gonna change that, I'm not if you keep doing things I don't Think about what you're trying to do to me Damn it Think Let your mind go Let yourself be free People walking around every day playing games and taking scores Tryin' to make other people lose their mind Be careful you don't lose yours Hey, think Think Think about what you're trying to do to me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Think, think Let your mind go Let yourself be free You need me Need me And I need you Don't you know Without each other there ain't nothing either can do Yeah, think about it, babe What you trying to do to me To the bone, man Think about it right now Oh, freedom Freedom Freedom Freedom Yeah, freedom Freedom Freedom Freedom Right now You, think about it There ain't nothing you could ask I can answer you, but I won't But I was gonna change my mind if you keep doing things I don't Yeah, think Think Think about what you're trying to do to me Think Let your mind go Let yourself be free You need me Need me And I need you Don't you know Without each other there ain't nothing either can do Yeah, yeah Think about it, baby What you're trying to do to me To the bone, man Think about it, baby Yeah, right on To the bone For deepness To the bone, for deepness Yeah To the bone For deepness, think about it To the bone, for deepness Right now Think about it, yeah, yeah, yeah To the bone, for deepness To the bone, for deepness Think about it For deepness Think about it

Don't give me the blues, brother, hey You had better Stop and think about it Think Think

Let's boogie.

Well, go ahead, damn it!


Pardon me, but we do have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments.

An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be present.

Now, may I help you?

Ray, it's me. Joliet Jake.

I once rented some column speakers from you for my band, The Blues Brothers.

Hey, Ray. it's me, Murph, of Murph and the Magic Tones.

Remember me? I bought three Fender amps.

Oh, we sell a lot of amplifiers.

Not like these. They were beautiful.

Upholstered with thick, red shag.

Oh, right, right! I remember now.

As a matter of fact, I'll buy them all back for $350 a piece.

$350?

I paid $800 each, not 6 months ago.

Well, you know depreciation, man.

Ray, we're here to buy stuff.

We need pianos, amps, mikes, the works.

Now, go on! Get!

Breaks my heart, a boy that young going bad.

Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.

Oh, you have a good eye, my man.

That's the best in the city of Chicago.

How much?

$2,000 and it's yours. You can take it home with you.

Matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.

$2,000 for this chunk of shit?

Come on, Ray!

I mean, really, Ray. It's used.

There's no action left in this keyboard.

Excuse me.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this piano.

Well, singing about the fella you've been dancing with All over the neighborhood So, why didn't you ask me, baby Or didn't you think I could?

Well, I know that the boogaloo is out of sight But the shingaling's the thing tonight But if that was you and me out there, baby I would have shown you how to do it right Do it right Do it right Do it right Do it right

Twisting Shake it, shake it, baby Here we go loop de loop Shake it out, baby Here we go loop de la Bend over Let me see you shake your tailfeather Bend over Let me see you shake your tailfeather Come on Let me see you shake your tailfeather Come on Let me see you shake your tailfeather

Come on Come on, baby Come on Yeah, come on, baby All right Do the twist Do the fly Do the swim And do the bird Do the duck Do the monkey Watusi And what about the frug Do the mashed potato What about the boogaloo The Bony Maronie Come on, let's do the twist

Ah, twisting Shake it, shake it, baby Twisting Shake it, shake it, baby

Twisting Shake it, shake it, baby

Okay, man.

We'll take these axes.

Naturally. And as usual, I gotta take an IOU.


You guys go inside, get yourselves a bite.

I've got to make a phone call.

Now, Jake, does this phone call concern our first gig?

Have I ever lied to you?

What are we gonna do, man?

We don't got no gig.

How much money you got?

I got a quarter.

That's enough for a phone call. Come on.

What are you doing, Elwood?

You said we were gonna make a call.

I said I was gonna make a call.

Who are you gonna call, Jake?

Do you remember Maury Sline?

Sline? Booking agent? What about him?

He got us some good showcases in the old days.

He got us the Morgan Park, he got us the Tick Took.

I got him laid. He owes me.

Give it a shot.


Hey, Jake.

There's got to be at least $7 worth of change here.

Yeah?

Sir.

What did you find out?

Okay.

I called a friend at the Motor Vehicle Department.

That license plate is like a rash all over the computer.

The car belongs to a known traffic menace.

What's his name?

His name is Elwood Blues.

He's got a record a mile long.

And he's a Catholic.

Did you get his address? Of course.

1060 West Addison.

Let's go.

Anybody with that kind of record is gonna make a mistake.

I want all party members in the tri-state district to monitor the city, county, and state police on their C.B's.

Mr. Blues is gonna fuck up.

And when he does, he better pray the police get to him before we do.

All right, man.

We've been in this car for three hours now.

Where the hell is this place?

I told you it'd take a little while to get there.

What's the name of the place?

Uh, the name of the place is, uh,

Bob's Country Bunker.

Here we are.

Bob's Country Bunker?

Jake, the sign says, "Tonight only, the Good Ole Boys. "

Blues Brothers!

It should read, "Tonight only, "the Blues Brothers' triumphant return. "

Must be some kind of mistake.

You guys unload the stuff.

Elwood, come with me.


What can I get you boys?

You thirsty, you hungry or just driving through?

Maybe you'd like a beer, or something a little harder?

We happen to make the state's best pepper steak.

No, thank you, ma'am!

We may be sucking back a few beers a little later on.

We'll be here all night. You see, we're the band.

You are? Oh, gee, that's nice!

Hey, Bob, this is the band!

All right!

What kind of music do you usually have here?

We got both kinds. We got country and western.

Jake, are you sure this is the place?

Yeah! Sure! This is the place.

Hi! You the Good Ole Boys? That's us!

The rest of the band's out in the parking lot getting our stuff together.

Well, I'm sure glad to have you boys here.

I'm Bob and this here is my place.

It's a beautiful place, Bob!

I guess you wanna get your steel guitars and everything set up on stage, don't you?

Claire, go and turn those stage lights on and get these boys going up there.

Chicken wire?

What do you say we set up for sound check?

Excuse me, sonny, I guess I'll give this to you.

You're the tallest one.

Okay, what is it?

Well, that there is a list of the songs you boys will be playing tonight.

Man, I don't think we know any of the songs on this list.

This list doesn't mean anything. They're just requests.

Do our regular set. First tune!

Give Me Some Loving. One, two.

One, two, three, four.

What are those damn freak pecker heads playing?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

We're glad to be here in Kokomo tonight.

We're the Good Old Blues Brothers Boys Band from Chicago.

We sure hope you'll like our show.

I'm Elwood. This is my brother Jake.

Well, my temperature's rising and my feet on the floor Crazy people knockin' 'Cause they wanted some more Let me in, baby I don't know what you got You better take it easy 'Cause this place is hot And I'm so glad you made it That ain't no Hank Williams song!

Give me some loving Get off the stage!

Give me some loving Every day Why'd they turn off the lights?

Maybe they blew a fuse.

I don't think so, man.

Those lights are off on purpose.

We gotta figure out something these people like, and fast!

I got it. Remember the theme from Rawhide?

The old favorite. Rowdy Yates.

What key? A.

Good country key.

Rawhide in A.

Rollin ', rollin ', rollin'

Though the streams are swollen Keep them dogies rollin'

Rawhide The rain and wind and weather Hellbent for leather Wishin' my gal was by my side All the things I'm missin'

Good vittles, love and kissin'

Are waiting at the end of my ride Move 'em on Head 'em up Head 'em up Move 'em on Move 'em on Head 'em up Rawhide Cut 'em out Ride 'em in Ride 'em in Cut 'em out Cut 'em out Ride 'em in, Rawhide


Move 'em on Head 'em up Head 'em up Move 'em on Move 'em on Head 'em up Rawhide Cut 'em out Ride 'em in Ride 'em in Cut 'em out Cut 'em out Ride 'em in, Rawhide

Yah!

Rawhide

Rawhide

Theme from the TV show Rawhide. Thank you.

We'd like to do a favorite of the horn section.

We hope it's one of yours.

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman

Giving all your love To just one man

And if you love him Oh, be proud of him

'Cause after all He's just a man

Stand by your man Give him two arms to cling to And something warm to come to When nights are cold and lonely Stand by your man And tell the world you love him Keep giving all the love you can

Stand by your man

Stand by your man And show the world you love him Keep giving all the love you can

Baby Stand by your man


Well, folks, it's time to call it a night.

But do what you feel, and keep both feet on the wheel.

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

So, till next time:

Move 'em on Head 'em up Head 'em up Move 'em on Move 'em on Head 'em up Rawhide Cut 'em out Ride 'em in Ride 'em in Cut 'em out Cut 'em out Ride 'em in, Rawhide

Rawhide Let's get the hell out of here.

Shit, I wanna tell you boys that's some of the best goddamn music we've had at the Country Bunker in a longtime.

Sorry we couldn't remember The Wreck of the Old 97.

Why, hell!

You guys can learn it next time when you come back.

Bob, about our money for tonight.

That's right.

$200 and you boys drank $300 worth of beer.

When we first came in the bar lady never charged us for the first round so, like, we figured beer was complimentary for the band.

Beer was, like, complimentary for the band, you know.

No.

Well, I'll just go out and take up a collection from the boys.

Well, I'll tell you, I sure would appreciate it.

I say this trip is nowhere, man.

I say we gotta quit.

What? Quit?

Well, I wish you guys would make up your mind.

Otherwise, I've gotta call Mr. Ronzini at the Holiday Inn and get our old gig back.

Back at the Armada Room?

Listen, they want us to pay for the beer we drank.

So you guys better split.

The next gig is gonna be dynamite!

Huge! You'll see.

I say we give The Blues Brothers just one more chance.

Why not? If the shit fits, wear it!

Scoot over, goddamn it!

Boys look a little upset.

Hey, man. Don't worry. We got a couple of days.

We'll get the Penguin's tax money.

I mean, look.

We got an appointment to see Mr. Sline tomorrow.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Let's skate.

Goddamn it.

Excuse me, gentlemen. Are you The Good Ole Boys?

Yeah, that's right.

I'm Tucker McElroy, lead singer, driver of the Winnebago.

I'd like to talk to you, but we're running very late.

My name is Jacob Stein, American Federation of Musicians Union, Local 200.

I've been sent here to see if you gentlemen are carrying your permits.

Our what?

Your union cards.

May I see your cards, please?

Suppose we ain't got no union cards and we go in and start playing anyway.

What you gonna do about that?

You gonna stop us? Stein?

You gonna look pretty funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no fucking teeth!

Listen, let me talk to Bob, the owner.

See if we can put your band on contract waivers for tonight.

I don't want you to move from this spot. Just let me handle this.

We'll, uh... We'll talk to Bob.

Get in the car and start her up.

You know you boys owe me a lot of money for that beer you drank tonight!

Goddamn it!

Bob, we loved playing here tonight.

My brother's writing out an American Express traveler's cheque to cover the extensive bar tab.

Well, I sure would appreciate it.

I'd better check up, see how he's doing.

See, I have to sign it, too.

I usually sit in the car and write it out on the, uh, glove compartment lid.

Okay?

I need a pencil.

Were them guys from the union?

Union? What the hell union?

Those boys skipped out of here owing me a lot of money for beer.

What the hell are you guys all dressed up for?

We're The Good Ole Boys!

You're The Good Ole Boys?

A.F.M. Shit!

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now!

I don't believe it!

It's that shitbox Dodge again. The bastards are ours now!

Holy shit!

Boys, you're in big trouble.

Maury, you owe me.

We'll play anywhere, anytime, for anybody.

Put us in, uh, the Double Up Lounge, or the Morgan Park Theater, or the Crystal.

We always knocked them dead in those joints.

Discos. They're all discos.

Singles. Mixed singles, gay singles.

Those people like to tumble and carry on. They like to dance with each other.

We are a dance band.

I don't know, boys. I just don't know.

Times have changed, you know what I mean?

What are you guys gonna do? The same act?

You wear the same farchadat suits.

You'll scare people away.

Don't you ever wear blue jeans or jumpsuits like Wayne Cochran and the C.C. Riders?

You gotta come through for us.

We need $5,000, fast.

$5,000?

Who do you think you are? The Beatles?

You know the size hall you gotta work to take in that kind of money?

We'll fill any hall in the country.

You guys familiar with the Palace Hotel ballroom?

Never heard of it.

Nice place up north.

Built in the '40s on Lake Wazapamani.

That seats 5,000.

You guys fill that place, you can make $5,000, easy.

Book us for tomorrow night.

Hold it! Tomorrow night?

A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.

I know about that stuff. I been exploited all my life.

Forget it. There's no way with you guys. Forget about it.

Say, how's Mrs. Sline?

I might have some information she'd like to know.

You blackmailing me?

If you wanna put it that way. Maury, we need this gig!

We're on a mission from God.

You get us the hall, and I guarantee we'll pack them in from miles around.

What do you say?

Okay. I'll get you the Palace Hotel.

I'll print up showbills. I'll make the place look real pretty, okay?

I don't think you guys are gonna gross dollar one.

But if you do, I want a taste of the gate, okay?

Thanks, Maury. Let's go, boys!

Listen, you boys heard me talk about Jake and Elwood.

Well, they used to live here, just like you.

And I used to sing to them, just like with you.

Tonight, Jake and Elwood are going out to sing and play to raise money to help you children.

Your lazy butts are in this, too!

So get up on that wagon.

We're going up north to put the word in the streets.


Tonight only, the fabulous Blues Brothers, Rhythm and Blues Revue at the Palace Hotel ballroom, Route 16, Lake Wazapamani.

The fabulous Blues Brothers, Show Band and Revue.

There you go, boy.

All right, man!

Check it out! Check it out!

Tonight only!

From Chicago!

The Blues Brothers.

Rhythm and Blues Revue.

One night only! The fabulous...

Blues Brothers Show Band and Revue.

You! On the motorcycle!

You two girls!

Tell your friends!

Free parking.

Free parking.

$2 cover charge only, folks!

That's a lot of entertainment.

For $2.

For $2.

Will you please put this in the window, lady, because it's real important.

Tonight only, from Chicago, the fabulous Blues Brothers, Rhythm and Blues Revue, for your dancing pleasure.

And it's ladies' night tonight at the Palace Hotel ballroom.

"Tonight only, the Blues Brothers, "genuine Rhythm and Blues Show and Revue.

"Palace Hotel ballroom. Tonight only. "

How we doing?

So far we covered Lake, McHenry and part of DuPage County.

Good. Let's get to the gig.

What is it?

We're out of gas.

Oh, shit.


Wow, a classic. What a room!

This place is gonna swing tonight.

It's a fucking barn. We'll never fill it.

We've gotta fill this hall tonight. A lot of young children are depending on it.

Young children? Why, what do you mean?

Jake and Elwood are donating the band's share of the door money to pay the taxes on the Saint Helen's Orphanage in Calumet City.

What?

We're out of gas. Yep.

Mind if we fill her up?

Nope. I said we're out of gas.

Tanker truck's late. Should have been here two hours ago.

Uh, it's always late on Thursdays.

I guess we'll have to wait.

Yeah.


Excuse me, sir.

Yes, you. Could you fill it up with premium, please, and check under the hood?

Sure.

You, uh, want I should, uh, wash the dead bugs off the windshield?

Oh, no. Don't worry. I'm in kind of a hurry.

Where in the hell are they?

So, uh, maybe you'd like to come by and see the show.

Oh, um, I'm awfully sorry, but I do have a prior dinner engagement.

Thanks, Marvin.

Debbie, get me Troopers Daniel and Mount.

I don't see those Blues Brothers.

We'll wait.

Okay, you're all set.

That'll be, uh, $94.

Here's $95. Thank you, Elwood.

Okay. And that's $1 change.

Oh, keep the change.

Oh, thanks.

Uh, so, look. Uh, if your date don't work out tonight for any reason, there's a motel up on the interstate.

Uh, maybe we could, say, uh, meet around, uh, midnight?

I'll think about it, Elwood, okay?

Bye.

Son of a bitch!

Come on!


We're really late. You better step on it, man.

Yeah.

I always like to perform for angry mobs.

You can't quit now.

What can they be doing?

My head hurts.

That Night Train's a mean wine.

You'd better get bright! We got a show to do.

Then we gotta figure out some way to collect that gate money, get it to the Cook County Assessor's office as soon as they open in the morning.

We want the show!

Gentlemen, I'm leaving.

Man, we were so close.

Hey, you guys know Minnie The Moocher?

I knew a hooker once named Minnie Mazola.

No! The song Minnie the Moocher.

Yeah. So what?

Hit it!


Hey folks here's a story 'bout Minnie the Moocher She was a low-down hoochie coocher She was the roughest toughest frail But Minnie had a heart As big as a whale


She messed around with a bloke named Smokey She loved him though he was cokey He took her down to Chinatown And he showed her how to kick the gong around


She had a dream about the King of Sweden He gave her things that she was needin'

He gave her a home built of gold and steel A diamond car with the platinum wheels


This is glue. Strong stuff.

What the hell are you doing?

This can is from a surplus disposal run.

Fifteen overcharged ounces of pure uncompounded isoproponyl butane monosulphide.

When combined with oxygen and a little heat it will cause a rapid expansion.


Poor Min, poor Min Poor Min


Okay, let's take them! Wait a minute.

I've never even heard these boys sing, all right?

All right.

They're not going no place.

All right, cover all exits! Let's go! Come on! Hurry up!

Move it!


Who wants an Orange Whip?

Orange Whip? Orange Whip?

Three Orange Whips.

Excuse us.

Good evening, ladies.


One, two. One, two, three, four.


Now, ladies and gentlemen it is the distinct pleasure of the management to present to you the evening's star attraction.

Here they are, back after their exclusive three-year tour of Europe, Scandinavia and the Subcontinent.

Won't you welcome, from Calumet City, Illinois, the show band of Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues.

The Blues Brothers!


One, two. One, two, three, four.

We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight.

We'd especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois' law enforcement community, who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel ballroom at this time.

We certainly hope you all enjoy the show.

And remember that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive there're still some things that make us all the same.

You. Me. Them. Everybody.

Everybody.

Everybody Needs somebody Everybody Needs somebody to love Someone to love Sweetheart to miss Sugar to kiss I need you I need you I need you, you, you I need you, you, you In the morning You When my soul's on fire You Sometimes I feel I feel a little sad inside When my baby mistreats me I never; never find a place to hide I need you

Sometimes I feel I feel a little sad inside When my baby mistreats me I never never find a place to hide I need you

People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman, love him, please him, squeeze her, please her!

Signify your feelings with every gentle caress because it's so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze and please!

Everybody needs somebody Everybody Needs somebody to love Someone to love Sweetheart to miss Sugar to kiss I need you

In the morning When my soul's on fire When there ain't no one around I need you I need you, you, you

I need you

Thank you. That was for Wilson Pickett.

This is dedicated to the late, great Magic Sam.

One, two. One, two, three, four.

Come on baby don't you wanna go

Come on baby don't you wanna go

Back to that same old place Sweet home Chicago

Six and three is nine Nine and nine is 18 Look there brother baby and you'll see what I seen Baby, don't you wanna go

Back to that same old place Sweet home Chicago

Come on Baby, don't you wanna go

Come on Baby, don't you wanna go

Back to that same old place Sweet home Chicago


The Mafia's after us now.

You guys were hot!

You were great! Insane. I've got to record you.

Bullshit.

Bullshit? I don't bullshit.

I'm president of Clarion Records the largest recording company on the Eastern seaboard.

So what?

Here's $10,000.

An advance on your first recording session.

Is it a deal?

Yeah. Sure, it's a deal.

Yeah. Sure, it's a deal!

Listen, all these cops out here, they're sort of waiting for us.

We gotta get out with nobody seeing us. You know a back door out?

Sure. I used to be head bouncer here back in the '70s.

There's an electrical service duct right behind your drummer's riser.

Do us a favor.

Take $1,400 and give it to Ray's Music Exchange in Calumet City and give the rest to the band.

You got it. Thanks.

Me and Elwood are gonna make a break for it.

You and the band keep playing.

Something's wrong.

Where's Jake?

Where'd those Blues Brothers go?

I sure hope this thing leads someplace.

Elwood, we're gone, man.

Who is that girl?

Well, Jake.

You look just fine down there slithering in the mud like vermin.

No problem.

You're not gonna get away from me this time.

Check that out! Let's go!

It's good to see you, sweetheart!

You contemptable pig.

I remained celibate for you.

I stood at the back of a cathedral waiting, in celibacy, for you with 300 friends and relatives in attendance.

My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state.

To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party my father used up his last favors with Mad Pete Trullo.

So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good I must now kill you and your brother.

Oh, please don't kill us!

Please, please, don't kill us.

You know I love you, baby!

I wouldn't leave you! It wasn't my fault!

You miserable slug!

You think you can talk your way out of this?

You betrayed me!

No, I didn't. Honest!

I ran out of gas!

I had a flat tire!

I didn't have enough money for cab fare!

My tux didn't come back from the cleaners.

And old friend came in from out of town!

Someone stole my car!

There was an earthquake! A terrible flood!

Locusts! It wasn't my fault, I swear to God!

Oh, Jake...

Jake, honey.

Let's go.

Take it easy.

You're going to totally demolish the cars.

You want to maybe consider going after the Blues Brothers?

It's 106 miles to Chicago.

We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.


Shit, man. Can't this damn thing go any faster than this?

Bob, I think I've got a little problem.

Goddamn, boy.


Don't you say a fucking word.


All units, we have a signal 10-79.

Officers are in pursuit: a black-and-white 1974 Dodge sedan southbound on 47.

Respond to signal 10-79.

Occupants of vehicle: one Joliet Jake Blues, one Elwood Blues.

Considered extremely dangerous. Gruppenführer!

Hey, Jake,

I gotta pull over.

Southbound on State Highway 47.


Hi! Wanna hand me the mike?

Thanks a lot.

This is car... What number are we?

55.

Car 55. We're in a truck.

Signal 10-79 still engaged.

Vehicle traveling southbound approaching Chicago city limits.

Commander advises will contact Chicago precincts for a local intercept.

Maintain pursuit.

Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved.


Well, this is definitely Lower Wacker Drive.

If my estimations are correct we should be very close to the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza.

That's where they got that Picasso.

Yep.


Son of a bitch!

There they are.


Oh, no! What the fuck was that?

The motor. it's thrown a rod.

Is that serious?

Yep.


Faster.

Faster.


Holy shit!


I've always loved you.

There it is!


Come on!


Sir, where's the office of the Assessor of Cook County?

Down the hall, turn right.

Take the elevator to 1102.

Thank you, sir.


Excuse me. Did you see two guys come in here with black suits and hats, one carrying a briefcase?

Yeah, I just sent them down there.

Thank you.

Hold the door.


Let's go.


Can I help you?

This is where they pay the taxes, right?

Right.

This money is for the year's assessment on the Saint Helen of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage in Calumet City, Illinois.

$5,000. It's all there, pal.

Stand back!

Fire!


And here is your receipt.

Warden threw a party in the county jail Prison band was there and they began to wail The band was jumping and the joint began to swing You should have heard those knocked-out jailbirds sing Let's rock Everybody let's rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone Little Joe was blowing on the slide trombone The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang The whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang Let's rock Everybody let's rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock


Dancing to the jailhouse rock Dancing to the jailhouse rock Was dancing to the jailhouse rock Dancing to the jailhouse rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock They were dancing Dancing to the jailhouse rock They were dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing Dancing to the jailhouse rock Everybody on the whole cell block They were dancing to the jailhouse rock They were dancing to the jailhouse rock Dancing to the jailhouse rock Dancing to the jailhouse rock Dancing to the jailhouse rock Everybody on the whole cell block They were dancing to the jailhouse rock Sad Sack was sitting on a block of stone Way over in the corner weeping all alone The warden said buddy don't you be no square if you can't get a partner use a wooden chair Let's rock Everybody let's rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock yeah


Dancing to the jailhouse rock Dancing to the jailhouse rock Was dancing to the jailhouse rock Dancing to the jailhouse rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock They was dancing Dancing to the jailhouse rock They were dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing Dancing to the jailhouse rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock Everybody on the whole cell block Was dancing to the jailhouse rock

One, two. One, two, three, four.


People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman, love him, please him, squeeze her, please her!

Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it's so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze and please!

Edit: r3p0