The Boxtrolls (2014) Script

Not my son!

Wake His Lordship.

The unspeakable has happened.

We must speak of it immediately!

What is it, Snatcher?

Boxtroll monsters have stolen a child!


They're no doubt picking their teeth with his adorable baby bones by now.

Horrible tragedy.

Let's deal with it in the morning.

Stop! That's not the worst of it.

Next they'll come after

our cheeses!

My Gouda?

They'll stop at nothing.

You're the town exterminator.

I'll pay whatever it takes.

Oh, I don't want money.

I want one of those.

A white hat? You? Absurd!

All right, then.

But prepare to say "Bye-bye" to your Brie, "Cheerio" to your cheddar, "Goodbye" to your...

Very well!

Every boxtroll gone.

With proof.

For a white hat?

I will destroy every last boxtroll in this town!

Hear ye, hear ye!

Good citizens of Cheesebridge, the curfew is in force.

Don't dawdle, or the beasts will tear you limb from limb.

They will add your flesh to their rivers of blood, and mountains of bones.

Let's go! The curfew is on!


Do you want to end up like the Trubshaw baby?

Dragged underground and feasted upon one year ago this very night!

Lock your windows, bolt your doors.

Hide anything that is not bolted down.

Hide your cheese.

Hide your tender and delicious babies.

Beware the bloodthirsty monsters.

They'll fry your eyes, gnaw on your knees, gobble your gizzards.


Let's go.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.


Oh, yeah!

Give me that! A-ha!


Look at all these boxes left lying about.

How curious, how peculiar.

I do believe evil is afoot.


You ever seen someone's foot be evil, Mr. Trout?

I believe the boss meant "evil is nearby," Mr. Pickles.

My foot had a pretty nasty bunion once.

But I wouldn't say the foot itself was evil.

No, no. It's just a fancy word for "vicinity."

Wrinkly old bunion looked like my grandma. Had to saw her off.

The bunion, not my grandma.

No, no, it was a metaphor.

Foot! ...the dagger.

There's one. Come on, you squirmy monster.

Your days of evil-doing are over.

You really think these boxtrolls understand the duality of good and evil?

They must, right?

Why else would they hide from us? Nice!

We are the good guys. Nice!

Yeah. Yeah, I suppose we are.


Mr. Gristle!

Acquire them.

Acquire. Acquire!


Come back and let me hit you!



You see Eggs?






He's up there!





Wake up!

Missed me. Ha!

Another villain off the streets.


What? Hide.

This way.

Shoe, come on!


They could come eat my face off at any moment.

I better warn Father.

Settle down, men, settle down.

Important town business to discuss.

First on the docket, more complaints of crumbling bridges.

Speaking of crumbling, is that a new blue cheese I see?

Does smell delicious.

Well, I suppose we could do with a nibble first.



I'm tasting notes of plum!

Oh. Oh, oh.

All good fun.

But we do have this school funding initiative to vote on.

Been sitting here for months.

All in favor of...

Cutting open the Roquefort next...


Well, okay, okay.

A quick reminder, tomorrow is Trubshaw Baby Remembrance Day.

And we all know what that means.

A performance by Madame Frou Frou.

A vision! Now there's a woman with...

With some cheese on her bones!

A lady like that is like a fine Brie.

Raw, dangerous.

Maybe a little stinky, but one taste and you'll be begging for...



Is someone there? Winifred, go on off to bed. Off to bed!

But, Father, I saw boxtrolls again!

They're right outside! They could come rip the flesh off my bones, any moment. It would be a shame to miss this!

Yes! Yes, one moment.

Winifred, proper girls should not be obsessing over grotesque monsters. I'm not obsessed!

I just can't stop imagining them gnawing off my toes and stringing them together as a necklace.

You're getting it all over your face!

Father? Father.

Yes, yes.

If they kidnapped me and slurped up my intestines like noodles, would you give up your white hat to save me?

Yes, Winifred... Father!

What? White hat, right?

Oh, seems to have been smudged by a bit of Brie.

Be a dear and have the butler give it a wash, would you?

Gentlemen, I apologize.


Back to important White Hat business.

I'll give your hat a wash, all right.

Who... Who's there?

Who are you, boy?


Why would she call me that?

Over there, Mr. Trout! Get them!

Acquire! Left! Left! Keep going!

Faster, Mr. Trout!

I'm behind you! Hold on!

Right now! Right! No, right!

Look out! Everybody, down!

Someone's out past curfew.

Very dangerous.

I... I saw a boy.

All I saw was filthy boxtroll monsters.

Miss Portley-Rind.

Allow me to escort you home.

I can escort myself, thank you.

If you'll just give me my father's hat back.

Yes, how did this hat find itself all the way out here?

The wind blew it, right out the window.

Very windy tonight!

Must've died down. Suddenly!

There's no need of you coming inside.

Oh, but as a gentleman, I insist.

Lord Portley-Rind!

Did you hear something? Can I have the hat back now?


What in Gouda's name is going on?

Archibald Snatcher?

Deepest apologies, Your Lordship.

But I found something out in the street that belongs to you.

My white hat!

I'll take that.

Now, now, Snatcher, one doesn't acquire a white hat by simply picking it up off the street!

A white hat indicates privilege, prestige, position!

It must be earned.

With valor! Chivalry!

Or being rich. That's how I got it.

Don't I know it, sirs.

Fortunately, we still have our little agreement.

When I destroy every last boxtroll in this town, I shall earn my white hat and join you in the Tasting Room.

Good Lord!

Not sure who should be more terrified, the boxtrolls or us.

Now, how the devil did my hat get outside in the first place?

I was told the wind had something to do with it.

The wind?

Father, I'm sorry...

Sorry, can't stay. Too much work to do.

Miss Portley-Rind, Your Lordship, sirs.

I bid you good night.

I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again very, very soon.


Don't forget. I'm a size six-and-a-half.

Order ahead.

Come on!

Father, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to.

Well, at first I did, but I think this situation offers a great opportunity for a father and daughter to discuss their feelings.

Wait! I saw something out there.

A boy with boxtrolls.

Not another word.

But, Father, I really... Bed!

I did see a boy.

Hark! Here come the Exterminators!


But don't that sound like we're the villains?



Here come the Exterminators!

Of justice!

We exterminate justice!


Grab hold!

Whoa! Oh!

Over there, Mr. Trout.

This way!

My turn!



No! Eggs!

Why do we do this, Shoe?

Carry on like everything is normal.

They drag us away and we do nothing.

I look like one of them!

Sort of.

I'll find you, Fish.


I'll get the first round in. Steady on, old chap!

Gorgonzola, fine cheddar and provolone!

I want one! I want a balloon! Hard, creamy and soft!

Out of my way!

Get your picture taken with the Trubshaw baby!

A humorous keepsake for this dark and dreadful day!

Get out the way, you little urchin.

Hey! She's about to come on!

Come on! Madame Frou Frou time!

Trubshaw Baby Remembrance Day merchandise here!

What better way to remember that horrible tragedy forever than with a balloon!

Ladies and gents, from the long lost land of Crackerslovakia, Madame Frou Frou!

Hello, Cheesebridge!

Hello, darlings!

Thank you! Thank you, my darlings!


I'm your biggest fan, Frou Frou!

Lord Portley-Rind, you are too much!

Or maybe just enough!

Very good.

Today, I shall perform the sad tale of the Trubshaw baby!

But first, I need a helper from the audience.

Me, me! Anyone?

Anyone at all? Nobody?

Excuse me, I'd like to...

Move aside! Pick me!

Little Miss Portley-Rind.

You shall play the sweet little baby Trubshaw!

I saw a boy taken by boxtrolls last night.


Maybe your audience would like to hear...

Stick to the script, my darling!

Ten years ago A plot was hatched Where evil was with cunning matched Whoever left their doors unlatched Would find their infant children snatched By boxtrolls Ooh, no Boxtrolls Trubshaw Senior loved his kid The same as regular fathers did If you don't want to share his plight Make sure that you are locked up tight From boxtrolls For this night Baby's Dad Trubshaw Quite forgot to lock the door And as soon as he began to snore The boxtrolls came in to withdraw Poor baby What?

Those vile boxtrolls So lock your windows, bolt your doors Or boxtrolls with their creepy claws Will take your children in their paws And drag them down to feed their jaws Boxtrolls Mr. Trubshaw went quite wild When he found out he'd lost his child He did what any dad would do He ran off swiftly to pursue those boxtrolls Help, help, help me, please, won't you?

But the boxtrolls did what boxtrolls do Look out, you idiot!

They snatched him up and began to chew Until there was no residue Of Trubshaw They pulled him down into their nest Hardly pausing to digest They left his bones but ate the rest Never be a dinner guest Of boxtrolls But she's lying!

Those boxtrolls And that's the story of the Trubshaw kid Don't do what Father Trubshaw did If you see boxtrolls don't placate them Catch them and exterminate them Boxtrolls Kill those boxtrolls Boxtrolls!

Kill those boxtrolls Kill those boxtrolls!

Kill those...

Kill those...



Kill those boxtrolls!


Kill those boxtrolls!

Don't forget about our party tonight, Frou Frou!

Good show! Brava!


Well done, Madame Frou Frou.


What do you want?

You're the worst pickpocket I've ever seen.

Here, buy a book on how to be a better thief.


I saw you last night.

And they took Fish, and I don't know where they took him.

You were with the boxtrolls last night?


I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

Father didn't believe me but I knew it!

How did you escape? We went underground.

Did they drag you down to their hideous caves?

Were there mountains of baby bones and rivers of blood?

What? Did they eat your family?

My... Did they let you watch?


I mean, make you watch. Tell me everything!

You bit me.

I need to find the men in red hats.

You bit me!

With your mouth.

The men in red hats.

The Boxtroll Exterminators?

They live down on Curd's Way.

How do I get there?

Curd's Way? Milk turns into it.

It's not true, you know.

We don't eat babies!


What do you mean we?

Come back here!

And tell me everything!

Poke. Poke!

You ever wonder what they're thinking about, Mr. Trout?

I imagine they're evaluating their life choices.

Wondering why they chose to be evil, disgusting monsters instead of good guys like us!

Wrong, Mr. Pickles!

A boxtroll cannot choose a new life because a boxtroll does not aspire to be anything more than a weak, lowly pest!

But a man, a great man, and his...

Colleagues? Best chums?

...stooges can choose to change their lives.

Our dreams are in our grasp!

Let us be dream-graspers, fate-snatchers, destiny-takers!

Let's grasp our dreams and shove them down everyone's throat!

Am I not right?



Oh! That's why your name is the boss, boss.

I'm not a stooge.

Am I?

Now, gentlemen.

What better way to dream than to walk in the shoes of those to whom we aspire?

Mr. Pickles, fetch the...

Shoes? Clogs?



Oh, no.

Oh, dear.


Men, don your white hats.

Are you sure about this, boss?

You know what cheese can do to you.

Unless you are referring to how cheese brings men of respect and power together in brotherhood, no, I do not know what cheese does to me!

That's what I meant then. Marvelous!

Then let us begin.


I say, old chaps, it's quite...


It's quite...

Aromatic? Oaky?

With an undertone of a mother's smile on a warm spring day?

Yes! Those things.

Etcetera, etcetera, big words, chummy banter.

Someone's got the cheese fits again!

Quickly, quietly, get the leeches.

Quietly, quietly.

Where's he going? Quietly.

Is he getting more cheese?

Quietly. What?

I think you've had enough for today, boss.

Isn't this nice?

Chewing the cheddar with the big cheeses.

Holding my own with sophistication and savoir faire.

Yep, nothing terrifying about that.

This is where I belong.

Spot on, as always, sir. You're not wrong, boss.

Well, not here! In this rotten factory!

I belong up there!

I'm agreeing so I don't upset you. Very clever.

In the Tasting Room, supping on the choicest cheeses.

Everyone in town bowing down to me like a gentleman, a lord with a white hat! Fish!

You've never been wrong, boss.

It's a time-honored tradition.

Now, now, boss, don't get yourself all worked up!

Use your breathing.

Stand back, peasants! You don't touch your king!

King Archibald Snatcher.

Yes, I shall be king, too!

Why not? Stay with us, boss.

Tell us more about when you'll be king.

He won't let me, that pompous Portley-Rind and his gaggle of giggling sycophants.

Now, now, boss, you be careful up there.

Father always said, if you worked hard, you get a white hat.


And what did he ever get? Nothing!

Hurry, Mr. Gristle! We're losing him.

I've worked my hump off for this town!

And it's growing back.

Wading through wet garbage, crawling after monsters!

What has Portley-Rind ever done?

Eat some cheese, run the government? Nothing!


Come on down from there, boss.

Yeah, that's it. Just put one giant, blob-shaped foot in front of the other. Let's go!

I'll rip that hat off Portley-Rind's head. Come on, come on!

Boss, boss...

I'm all right.

Just give me a hand.

Mother of sausages!

Holy meat glove!

Upsy-daisy now, boss.

Oh, dear. Let's get you a nice cuppa tea...

Mr. Snatcher!

What is it, Mr. Snatcher?



Give me that hat!

I'll make those Brie-stuffed pigs bow down to me!

I'm gonna be somebody!

I got him! Do it!

Mr. Gristle, now!

Now! Now! Now!


You've got to help me, Fish!


Oh, hello. Where were we?

We was about to...


...put that new boxtroll to work.

Ain't that right, Mr. Pickles? That is correct.

Oh, yes, right.

Open the workshop, Mr. Trout.

Where is the beast?

What? You're all alive!

Eggs! Eggs!

Eggs! Eggs!

There he is.


It can't be.

It's not possible.

It's not right!

That's our boxtroll! Give him back!

Don't stand there gawking! Get him!

Chase time! Mr. Trout!

Ten years and now you show up?


What are you doing with them?

You'll find out soon enough.


I'm flying on a cage!

Shoot, Mr. Pickles, shoot!

It'd be easier if he stopped moving.

Stop moving!

Thank you!

Boxtrolls don't hurt anyone! Let them go!

Yes, well, I need them!

They're my ticket to a white hat, Trubshaw baby!

Trubshaw baby?

I knew there was something strange about you!

Miss Portley-Rind, what a surprise!

Does your... Does your father know you're here?

No, of course not.

But wait till I tell him!

The Trubshaw baby, alive!

Sorry, miss.

What are you doing? Unhand me!

Looks like the boxtrolls have a new victim, miss, and her name is you.

What have you dragged me into? Eggs!

Eggs! Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!


I'm swinging on a chain!

Don't make no sense.

That's evil prevailing over good.

If Lord Portley-Rind finds out that that boy is alive, it will ruin everything I've worked for!

You mean, we worked for?

I think we're all saying the same thing here.

I don't think we are. Bah!

But just in different ways.


Stay away from me!

Someone help!

Wealthy girl in danger!

If you're going to eat me, just get it over with!

I'm sure I'm delicious.

No, it's not just us.

All the others are alive, too!

We saw them! What's going on?

Oil Can, Wheels, all of them!

Yes. I don't know.

The Red Hats have them building something in their factory.

I said, what's going on?

Why aren't they ripping out our eyeballs and eating our faces?

And where are the rivers of blood and mountains of bones?

I was promised mountains of bones!

I told you, we don't eat people.

Why do you keep saying "we"? You're not one of them!

You're a boy!

No, I'm not. I'm a boxtroll!

Eggs, the boxtroll.

Oh, really?

Then let's see you fit in your box.

I can't right now.

I'm long-boned.

And you don't talk like them.

I have a speech impediment. Your ears aren't pointy!

I slept on them funny!

Oh, for goodness' sake! Give me your hand!

I don't bite.



You're not like them.

You're one of us.

You're a boy, Eggs.

Or should I call you the Trubshaw baby?

Not true, is it, Fish?

I'm a boxtroll like you.

Aren't I?

See? I was right! Now admit it. Admit you stole him!

Is he confessing?

He says I was given to him.

Ha! Right again!

I... Wait, what?

I was given to you?

Who gave me to you?

What's he saying?

He says a long time ago, there was a kind man.

The one man in town who saw they weren't monsters,

but builders like him.

I've tried adjusting the dongle and there doesn't seem to be any possible...

Oh, look! You've solved it!

Who's up for a jelly break?

I tell you, I could eat this stuff for the rest of my life.

But one night...

I'm being reasonable. I can be unreasonable!

Snatcher wanted him to build something. But he refused.

And when the Red Hats tried to take me away from him...

Maybe if I hold on to your son...

Not my boy!

Run! Take my son!

And then they...

They what?

They killed him.

I think that kind man was your father.

What's a father?

Well, a father's the one who raises you, looks after you, loves you.

Oh, like Fish! Yes.


They're supposed to be like that man in the story.

Someone who'll do anything to help you.

They always listen and never get angry.

They guide you when you don't know what to do.

They're there when it's dark, when you're scared or lonely.

And they are never ever too busy to talk to you.

You have a father!

We can tell him I'm the Trubshaw baby, and that the boxtrolls didn't eat me and he'll stop Snatcher!

But he doesn't really listen to children.

He's a father, isn't he?

You don't know what he's like.

But he's the only father we have.

Please help us.

If I agree to help, you have to do exactly as I say.

I promise!

All right, first things first.

Off with the box.

Stop that!

All right, you petty thieves, bring me your loot.

Oh, thanks.

No. Oh...

This might work.


Oh, yes!



You look like a proper boy.

Me, a proper boy.

How do we get out of this place?

Come on, Eggs.


You don't scratch there in public.

That's why they're called privates.


For this to work, there are a few things you need to know.

When you meet someone, you must look them in the eye and shake hands.

What are you doing? Put those down! You said...

Like this.

The other one.

Oh, right.

Then you say, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

It's a pleasure to meet you.

And you say that even if you're not pleased to meet them.

Just stick close, okay?

Is that all that's left of the new Roquefort?

Which one is your father? Lord Portley-Rind.

He's usually making speeches about cheese.


Hello, Mummy, dear.

Who is this? I'm Eggs...

Bert. Eggsbert is a normal name that he has.

Eggsbert? How nice.

I adore names from the Bible.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

No, no. You kiss a lady's hand.


Darling, it's time to take off that dress and burn it.

Don't move. I'll be right back!

But which ones are the ladies?

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Very good.

Even if I don't mean it.

What? Well, I never.

And it's a pleasure to meet you!


I was right!

It's a pleasure to meet you. It's a pleasure to meet you.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Well, I could just...

That's good!

Ladies and gentlemen, Lord Portley-Rind!

Distinguished members of the Cheese Guild, we were here to celebrate the successful fund-raising for a new children's hospital.

But my fellow White Hats and I decided the money would be better spent on this.

I present the Briehemoth!

There you are!

Come on. Such a naughty boy!

We have so much to discuss.



Come to snitch on old Snatcher, did you?

Hello, Frou Frou! Nice to see you, too!

You really think Portley-Rind and his mob will help a nobody like you?

In this town, you want help, you got to help yourself.

That's what a man does!

You're a liar!

When I tell Winnie's father the truth, he'll...

He'll thank me. Because all your little boxtroll friends are going to die.

Tonight! What?

That'll make me the most respected man in this town.

They'll have no choice but to give me a white hat.

They'll parade me into the Tasting Room on their shoulders.

And I'm not gonna let that be ruined by some little boxtroll sewer rat.

Yoo-hoo! Madame Frou Frou!

You promised your snookums a dance!

I did? I did.

But of course.

Oh. Watch your hands, monsieur!

There you are. We have to get to your father!

You can't just cut through.

We dance!

We'll what? Like this.

One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three.

Just make a box.

You made me get out of my box!

With your feet, silly!

That's it, Eggs! You're dancing!

Snatcher is here.

Who? Where?

My turn, Madame.

Frou Frou?


Eggs, look out!

Is this part of the show?

What is going on here?

No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No!

No! Ladies, keep back!

What have you done?

Lord Winnie's father,

people of the upper world, Archibald Snatcher has lied to you all!

He told you that boxtrolls are monsters!

That they steal children!

But they don't.

They would never hurt anyone.

I know because...

Because I am the Trubshaw baby!


Do you know how expensive that cheese was?


We might as well have built a children's hospital!

Did you hear a word he... Not now!

But, Father... Have you any idea how long it will take my men to fish it out of the river?


Ew! The river?

If you won't listen to me, ask Snatcher himself!

Oh! You have me!

I'm not a true redhead!

Poor woman.

You insult our guest of honor?


I mean, who are you?

A proper boy?

He's with me, Father!

You know this creature?

He's my friend. What he said is true. Enough.

But... Winifred!

I don't want to see you again. Do you hear me?

But he's not the...

Leave my house.


I've never seen anything like it.

These parties are so confusing, no?

There, there. You poor, poor dear.

Eggs, wait!

You said fathers were supposed to help.

And they took care of kids.

Well, they're supposed to.

People are just mean and selfish.

They're monsters.

Not all of us.

You aren't.

Well, I don't want to be a boy anymore.

It was a pleasure meeting you.


And, Winnie, I really do mean it.


Eggs! Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!

We have to leave the cavern.

We're not safe down here anymore.

Come on!


I said we have to leave now!

Snatcher is planning something.

We have to get out of here.

Come on. Let's go now!

Get up!

No! Don't just hide!

What are you doing?

Fish, help me.

No! I'm not a boxtroll!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

Please come out!


Shut up.


He's here.

How's that for an entrance?


Don't you mean dramatic?

Get up! That thing will kill you!

My, my, what a surprise!

Doesn't look like your little friends want to run! Does it?

How strange, how peculiar.

No, wait.

It's exactly as I expected!

Eggs! You have to get up!


Never gonna happen, Trubshaw!

Time to earn my white hat!


Fish! Shoe!

No! Please! Give up, Trubshaw!

Boxtrolls lost a long time ago!

These miserable pests will never be a match for a man with a dream.

Mr. Gristle!

Eggs! Eggs!

Acquire them.


Never seen one do that before!

That boxtroll was mad!

Goodness always triumphs over evil.

Right, Mr. Trout?

Mr. Trout?

I'm still 60 to 70% certain that's us.

Couple of good guys vanquishing evil and all that.



What the...

When I'm good, I get jelly!

I like jelly.


Who are you?

Who am I? Who are you?

I don't know.


Or boxtroll?

Dresses like a boxtroll, but looks like a boy!

A boy-troll. Yes, or a box-boy?

A new species never seen before.

No boxtrolls Trubshaw Senior loved his kid The same as regular fathers did

He's my father?

You're my... Are you my father?


He was once. Won't get much out of him now, though.

A decade hanging upside-down scrambled his noodles good.

Still, did a fine job designing this beauty.

Best inventor in town, your dad.

Working with the best little builders.

No, no, no. Don't hide.

Fish, Shoe, run! Get up! Get up and run!

Sparky, Sweets, run!

Yell all you want, boy. They ain't gonna run.

You can't change nature.

I'm coming down, men!

I want to pull the crushing lever myself!

It's the little moments.

Yes, I see it now.

A mutation of nature.

Self-imposed metamorphosis.

Box-boy, you did it!

I don't understand. You changed your nature.

Tell them!

I tried. They won't listen.

You did it!

You made you!

Tell them.

Tell them!



My son.


Son! They can change. They can do it!

Tell them!

Fish, Fish, everyone, listen!

I'm a boxtroll and I stopped hiding.

So you can, too.

Stand up for yourselves.

We can fight back! Don't be afraid anymore!

Sparky! Fragile! Get up!

Get up and fight!

Just stand up and take a step.

Please! Do it for me!

Wow, good speech.

No! No, no! No! No!

No! Fish! Sparky!

Look what you did!

Look what you did!

Yeah. Yeah, look what I did. They're crushed.

Hey, boss, your monsters are all loaded.

All but one.

Hear ye!

Hear ye!

Good citizens of Cheesebridge, come out of your homes!

The curfew has been lifted!

Oh! What is it?

Fear not! It's Snatcher!

The monsters have been vanquished!

Your streets are safe!


Curfew is over?


I don't believe it!

No, it's not possible.

Join me! Your purger of pests!

Your white knight who has taken back the night!

Lord Portley-Rind!

I've come bearing the most delightful news.

Mr. Snatcher, what the devil is this?

Show him, lads.

Flattened to extinction, every slimy one of them.

Your Lordship, I said I would not rest until I caught the very last boxtroll, and I am a man of my word.

With this boxtroll, I will end their reign of terror!


I say that deserves a white hat. Don't you?

A white hat for Mr. Snatcher!

Yes, well, I'm not sure...

Our hero!

We'd have to take a vote. White hat!

White hat!

White hat! There's probably some paperwork.

Then have a hat shipped in.


Methinks a deed of this magnitude deserves something a bit more significant.

I want your hat.

My hat? White hat!

White hat! White hat! White hat!

Chanting! Chanting! White hat! White hat!

White hat! White hat! White hat!

All right! All right!

As soon as that boxtroll is dead, you may have my hat.

Yes! And then we can eat cheese together in the Tasting Room.

White hat! White hat!

Do the honors!

I thought this was all gonna be a show like with Frou Frou.

I brought my mustache and everything.

This really does stretch the limits of the term "hero," doesn't it?


White hat! White hat!

Musician, drumroll!

Mr. Trout, lower the beast down.

Repeat after me.

With this hat, I... State your name.

With this hat, I, Archibald Penelope Snatcher...

With profound esteem for dairy and dairy products...

Kill that boxtroll!

...proudly swear to uphold the dignity of the White Hat.

Proudly swear to uphold...

Father! Father! ...the dignity of the White Hat.

Not now, Winifred.

And henceforth, whereupon... Stop! Stop!

I can't, miss. Apologies.

We're just doing our jobs. Your jobs?

Are you pest exterminators or evil henchmen?

I knew that's how people saw us.

Kill that boxtroll!

You don't have to do this!

She has a point, Mr. Pickles.

This could be our chance for redemption!

A second chapter!

People love a flawed hero!

Sure, whatever you like. Just let him go! thrice-aged cheddar...

Kill that boxtroll!

Kill that boxtroll!

Yeah? Yep!


Redeemed! Thank you, miss.

Stop it!

Watch yourself! Let me go!

Kill the boxtroll!



Boxtrolls! And they're naked!


What is going on here?

I am befuddled as Your Lordship.

I crushed them myself!

Evidently not!

That was the closest you will ever come to a white hat.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!

You're alive! You're all alive!

But how? I saw you crushed!

Oh, sorry.

He says they were hiding and then they heard me yelling at them.

Stand up for yourselves.

We can fight back! Don't be afraid anymore!

Sparky! Fragile! Get up!

Get up and fight!

Just stand up and take a step.

Please! Do it for me!

Wow, good speech.


Look what you did!

You got out of your boxes. You did it!

The boy is friends with boxtrolls?

But boxtrolls are monsters!

Boxtrolls aren't monsters.

They never ate the Trubshaw baby.

He's right there, with Fish and...

My father.

Your father?

Look what you did!

You were right. Thank you!


Herbert Trubshaw?

The inventor?

Alive? How can that be?

Snatcher said he was killed!

Snatcher lied!

He lied to us and to poor Madame Frou Frou! Snatcher!

We could've been something special, but you've broken our agreement!

Why is he talking like Madame Frou...

Oh, my God! I regret so much.

I'll take my white hat now.


The curfew's back on! It's back on!

No more hiding, right?

Right! Right?

You built this thing, you can take it apart!

Lord Portley-Rind!

Come out, come out, come out!

I know you're out there!

Tear it down!

Get your grimy paws off my machine!

We have to put out the fire!

Yep. Yeah.


Oh, Mr. Snatcher!

How did this hat find itself all the way out here?

You vile little brat!

Perhaps we can be of some assistance, miss.

So this is what all the fuss is about?

What do you think, Mr. Trout?

You have a go.

I think white quite suits me.

Stop it! You ungrateful stooges!

Is this what you wanted, boss?

Mine! Mine!


It's not funny! No, no, no, no, no!

Come back, you loony!


Stop destroying my indestructible machine!

Fish! Grab hold!

That's right! Pull it over the...

You filthy monster!

It doesn't reach!

Pull it harder!

You think you can win and live happily ever after!

They'll never accept the likes of us!

All together!

Now! Pull!

I'm nothing like you! You're the monster!



We've done it! Huzzah!

Three cheers for us!

We've got the cheese, Lord Portley-Rind...

I have lost a lot of blood.


Ew... Not again.


Give me my hat!

Well, what about Broderick's hat?

It's just as white and fluffy.

Oh, take it. Just let go of my daughter.


Archibald Snatcher, you've finally done it!

Now, to the Tasting Room!

Men, don your white hats.

Please, Snatcher, let her go!

You don't have... Enough! It's tasting time!

I present the tastiest cheese known to man.

Made from the milk of the male lactating fruit bats in Borneo, aged for centuries, in secret... Shut up! Enough stalling!


Rich bouquet, cheesy cheese-like...


Oh, my Winnikins! Father.

You bit me!

With your mouth!

Don't do it.

It won't change who you are.

Cheese, hats, boxes, they don't make you.

You make you.

I have made me, boy.

This is my destiny!

Aromatic, oaky, with an undertone of a mother's...

And there I was, trapped in his sweaty armpit, until he swelled like a balloon and pop!

An ocean of guts exploded over us like a hurricane of yuck!

My little angel! My weird little angel!


Where's Fish?

And now, I will tell the heroic story of the naked boxtrolls and the Crusher of Doom!

I said, "I like it burnt," then she said, "Well, I don't."

So, here I am.

You guys seen Fish?


I don't think that's a good idea.

Have you seen Fish?


There he is!


Look what I found!

Brilliant, son!

And now, we go like this...

I've missed so much.

Oh, ain't that lovely?

All happy and tidy!

Like the end of a story.

If our lives were a story.

Not sure what we'd do next, though.


No! No! No! No! No! No! No!



Just keeping the streets clean.

Free from evil.


You ever think about the universe, Mr. Trout?

What if our world is just like a tiny speck?

A tiny little speck.

And there are giants looking down on us?

And every time we move...

It's actually them moving us.

Seems a bit tedious.

Like that, just there, me blinking.

That would've taken them a day.

Me moving my arm, 500 men!

I mean, none of them are going home. They're having to do this bit.

And now this bit.

And this bit.

I mean, this should stop.

I think it throws up notions of free will.

It's too much.

And then they would've had to have done me talking about the blink, and it never ends.

I think they make a meal of it, to be honest.

I don't know how they get the time.

They've got to have other jobs.

It's more like a hobby.

You know, like stamp collecting, something you do in your free time.