The Boy Downstairs (2017) Script



Uh, what's going on?

I... I brought you your sweater because I'm leaving tomorrow.


Hey, where are you?

Uh, I'm buying toilet paper.

Are you here?

That was so quick.

Yeah, Gab, my flight landed, like, two hours ago.

Where are you?

I'm close.

How was your flight?

Uh, yeah, it was OK.

I sort of sat next to this guy with this, like, severe peanut allergy.

So I spent the entire flight trying to convince myself that, uh, my throat couldn't spontaneously close.

Really? Where are you?

I really have to pee.

I have to pee so bad.



Oh, my God.



Oh, hey.



Thank you, dear.


Um, so I've been looking at apartments.

And, uh, they all look like crime scenes.

So there's that.

I actually think I have a friend who's a real estate agent now.


You don't know her.

You... you have a friend that I don't know?

Yeah, Meg Jones, she was my study friend in art history.


She's actually very funny.


I don't have her number anymore, but I could email her.

Yeah, yeah, that would be great.

Why don't you email her?

And then you guys can hang out.

And then, you know, because she's so funny, you'll just become best friends.

And I'll, um, die alone.

D, she's old news.

You're my one and only.

You promise?


But can you actually email her, in all seriousness, because I...

I need to find an apartment?

Yeah, you got it.

Because I'm basically homeless.


All right.

I love it.

Oh, great.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

I think I want it in pink.

Oh, actually, we only make the dresses in white or ivory.

I don't understand.

Um, we only make the dresses in white or ivory.

Why not?

I thought they were made to order.

Yes, they are made to order, uh, but we make the dress as is.

And then we can do slight alterations, like adding a modesty panel or lowering the back.

But, um, the fabric is set in order to maintain the integrity of the designer's vision.

So you're telling me I can add a modesty panel and lower the back, but I can't have it in pink?

Uh, ye... um, yes, that's correct.

Well, I don't want a lower back or a modesty panel.

I just want it in pink.

I feel like she's not even listening to me.

This is ridiculous.

She doesn't know what she's talking about.

Can we have it in lavender?


Hi, Meg. Hi.

It's Diana.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

Yeah, no problem.

Shall we?

Yeah, um, I just... I'm never late.

But I'm on my lunch break.

I work in this bridal store.

And this bride spent, like, 10 minutes picking out this veil that she didn't even buy.

So, um, I murdered her.

And, uh, then I came right here.



The bathroom and kitchen were renovated six years ago, but the style is consistent.

What do you think?

I mean, it's... it's great.

Well, you can fill this out, and I will give it to Amy.

She's a little picky about who she lets into the building.

But if she's interested, I will set up a meeting for you two.

Thank you.

Do you think it's an issue that I'm on parole?


I was just... sorry.

I just made a stupid joke about being on parole, but...

Is there anything else you'd like to see?

Uh, no, I think I'm good.

OK, well, thank you for coming in.

Yeah, thank you for having me in.


Thank you.

And then when I was 29, I played a mobster's wife...

Thank you. this little play on Broadway.

And I met my husband, Patrick, the director.

And long story short, we took over this property from his mom.

And at that point, it was verging on a retirement community.

I mean, we were the youngest by 20 years.

So a few years ago, I decided I didn't want a bunch of old people in the building.

Mm, so you killed them?

I like to think of it as euthanasia.

I don't know.

Just being the only old broad here makes me feel young.

You are not old.

I am not getting any younger.

Neither am I. I mean, I found a full-length gray hair the other day, so I get it.

I saved it, if you want to see it.

No, thank you. That's OK.


So you're a writer?

Yeah, uh, yes, I'm trying.

I'm trying to be a writer.

I am... I work in a bridal store, you know, to actually make money.

You know, I was a waitress for seven years before I made any real money as an actress.

I think it's the nature of the beast.

That's very reassuring to hear.

Are you acting in anything right now?


No, um, I... my husband passed away a few years ago.

And, um, he passed away a few years ago.

And so I am just busy taking care of the building for now.

You do an amazing job.

It's... it's so beautiful.

Well, thank you.

You know what?

I like you, Diana.

The apartment is yours if you want it.

I would love that.

I think we should hug.

Let's hug.

Yeah, yeah, OK.

Hi, Ben.



Um, you ready?

Yeah, yes, born ready, uh, except I think that it's supposed to rain in a bit.

Oh, no, no, no, no, it... it's going to be OK, yeah.


I looked into it.

Well, great.

Yeah, internet.

Oh, I was going to ask you.

I knew a guy, but internet, that makes sense.

I know a guy named the Internet.

Here, if I turn, I'm having a little trouble with the directional, uh...

I think you're doing great. Yeah?


I'm good.

It's just these... these oars seem, like, really old.

Very old, very old oars, terribly old.

Um, this is good. Great.

Are you hungry?


This is, like, a real date, huh?

I mean, we're on a boat in Prospect Park, and your brought a picnic.

How am I doing?

You're doing all right.

This is, uh, our table.

Lovely, beautiful table.

Um, I... I should probably warn you, though, I am an incredibly picky eater.

Oh, yeah, I know.

Uh, I saw you picking olives and peppers off your pizza at the party.

Oh, you, uh, saw that?

That's embarrassing.

Um, right, I hate olives and peppers, which is why I was removing them from my pizza.

Yeah, I know.

Uh, I figured.


This is a box full of olives and peppers.

It's not.

Great, that's great.

You know, I really like you.

I really like you, too.

Do you want some more wine?

Yes, please.



Hey, what's up?

Ben lives here.


Uh, in my building downstairs, Ben lives in my, uh, building downstairs.


Yes, yep, Ben Wineburger lives in my building.

I just saw him.

Oh, my God, what did you say?

Yeah, I mean, like, I just saw him through his window.

He didn't see me see him.

I just... you know, I just saw him through his window.


That's so crazy.

You know, Stephanie Jacobs moved into her ex-boyfriend's building in college.

And Daisy Debrell lived in the same building as her ex also, but I think they were neighbors first.

Right, um, do I go say hi?

Um, hey, D, I, uh, I gotta go.

Why don't you go to sleep, and... and we'll talk about it tomorrow?

But, Gabby... You're fine.

I love you.


What's up?

Is it hot in here?

Hey, do you like Radiohead?



Yeah, do you want to... do you want to put on some music?

No, I was just wondering.




We have a delivery downstairs for Diana.

Oh, shit.

Um, yeah, I'll be right down.

I'll be right down.

Excuse me.

Are you Diana?

No, I'm a man.

Are you Diana?



What... what are you doing in my building?

Uh, yeah, I live here now.

Uh, I... I... too, I live here now, too.

I... I'm moving in.

Lady, we have a lot of deliveries after you.

So can we, you know, get moving?

Of course, I'm so sorry.

Uh, second floor, the door is open.

I'm going to come down. I'll come down.

Hi. Hi.



You got glasses.

Yeah, I, uh, stopped wearing contacts.

Right, that... that makes sense.

Um, I started eating tomatoes again.

So that's my news.


So what's happening?

Right, so I didn't know that you lived here until I saw your name on the mailbox last night.

I, um, I found the apartment through Gabby's friend, Meg.

From Meg?

Yes, she's a... a real estate agent lady.

OK, um, are you staying?

Uh, yeah?

I... I mean, yes.

I mean, um, I...

I know it's kind of bizarre.

But I feel like worst things have happened, you know, like, people dying of cancer or world poverty or mass suicide.

Of course.

I'm aware of, like, poverty, Diana.

No, I know.

I'm just saying, I feel like we can handle living in a building together. Yeah, I can...

I can handle it, too.

I can handle it.

It's just weird.

Well, do you want to maybe sit down later and... and have coffee or something and make it less weird?

So we're neighbors?

Yes, yep, we're neighbors.

Maybe let's just leave it at that.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

I... I gotta go.

Yeah, OK, yeah, I'll see you around.

Or I won't see you around.

Or it was... yeah, we'll... bye.

I don't understand.

He brought a boat?



He rented one at the park, Gabs.

It's, like, a thing people do.


It was super cheesy, but also kind of...

I mean, it was... it was cute.

Is Ben your new boyfriend?


No... no, no, what are we, 10?

He is not my new boyfriend.

A, we've been on one date.

Uh, and I'm leaving, so...

Oh, my God, in, like, six months.


You always do this.

Do what?

D, maybe let's just, like, wait a minute and enjoy this.

You know? Don't think so much.

Let's go say hi.

I wouldn't say we hooked up, but we kissed.

Like, there was a bridge.

A bridge?


Did you get, like, a handjob under the bridge?

No, man, no.

What are you talking about?

Like, a dry handjob under the bridge.

I don't know what that is. They're very underrated.

Dude, shut up. Hi.

Hi, Ben. Hi, what's up?

How are you doing? What's going on?

Thank you guys for coming. What's up?

How are you guys enjoying yourselves?

Taking it all in. Mm-hmm, take it in.

Take it in. Who's the artist again?

My friend, Marie, she's from Beirut.

She's very cool.

She's cool as shit.

Mm-hmm, all right.

Have you guys been inside the installation yet?

Uh, no, not yet.

Well, OK, Ben and Diana are going to go inside.

And, uh, Gabby and I are gonna get, uh, we're gonna get a drink.


I'm thirst... I'm thirsty. OK.

I need to get one now.

You're thir... you're thirsty.

Do you want to accompany me to the little room?

Absolutely, let's... let's find our way.


To the little room.

Are we in a '70s fever dream?

Is that what... like, did we accidentally do acid?

Oh, I'm on acid.

You are? Yeah.

Oh, good, OK, so I'm not alone.

No, no, no, no. OK.


I think I'm going to go down for a nap, actually.



I think I could comfortably sleep in here.

Certainly have, like, vivid nightmares, but...

Terri... terrifying nightmares.

Yeah, you... yeah.


Do you want to get dinner maybe, like, before the acid wears off?

It'll be, like, crazy.

Yeah, let's get dinner.



I think my roommates are asleep.


OK, I'll be quiet.

Do you want to go to my room?


OK, this way.

Do you want... do you want to make out?


Do I have to move?

No, no, you don't have to move.

Of course not, woman up.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm not moving. No.

Nobody's moving.

We're both adults.

We can handle being neighbors. Yeah.


You're mature.

Yeah, we can be friends.

I just can't believe he didn't want to catch up, you know?

Did he seem upset?

Hmm-mm, no, I told you.

He just seemed cold.

He was probably shocked.

Yeah, no, I... yeah, he was definitely shocked.

But I just feel like it's really... it's awkward because I...

I don't know.

I feel like he really didn't want me here.

He's probably still in love with you.

He's not still in love with me.

Oh, I think he might be. He is not.

I think he might be.

He's almost certainly still in love with you.

Gabby, he's not.

Is he still in love with her?

He's not.

I just think that it's silly that we can't be friendly.

Well, maybe he just doesn't want to be friends with you.

You know what?

I would just let him be for now.

And don't push the friend thing.

It'll happen in time and...


Yeah, no, you're right.

You're right.

I'm just going to be zen about it.

Are you testing fresh batteries with your mouth?

You know what?

When you burn yourself on one of the candles we have to light when the power goes out, I'm not gonna let you partake in my emergency kit.

I mean, I just feel like fresh batteries are... you buy them with fresh energy.

You know, that's kind of the point of... of buying batteries new.

You know what?

I think my emergency kit and I are just going to go somewhere that we feel appreciated.


No, no, hmm-mm, come on. No?

Come on. Hmm-mm.

I need them for the birds.

No, too bad.

No, for the birds. Too bad.

Please, for the birds.

I guess we're gonna let you bleed out.

No, seriously, I appreciate your preparedness.

Come on. I don't think I believe you.

I want to test a battery. You know what?

I don't know if you're ready. No.

Are you ready?

No, I... I really do.

I want to...

I want to put it in my...

What do you want to... what do you want to do with the battery?

I want to put it in my mouth.

Oh, well, all right.


Oh, that's good.

That is good.



I also filled the bath tub up with water.

You did?

Yeah, just in case they shut the water off.

My bathroom?

So we, um, water to flush the toilet or for drinking water.

Oh, for both of those.

For both. And I got...

From the same bathtub. wipes for our body, yeah.

Wait. You got baby wipes?

Yeah. I love baby wipes.

I know. That's why I got them.

I carry them, like, in my... in my tote bag.

What, in your tote bag?

Oh, my God. It's happening.

You were right.

Are you warm enough?

Mm-hmm, just getting cozy.


So in my, um, sociology class...


Uh, our professor asked us to write down our vision of life, like, a exercise.

And, um...

That's super cheesy.

Yeah, I guess.

But I don't know.

It seemed like...

I don't know.

It just kind of caught me off guard.

You know, does it make you think of anything?

Um, no.

I don't know, no.

You don't have... you don't have dreams?


You don't have dreams in there?

I have dreams.

I have dreams.

And I don't like to say them out loud.


I don't know.

Um, OK, when I was in the fourth grade, I had this epic, epic crush on this boy named Dale.

His name was Dale?

Yes, his name was Dale.


Anyway, I planned to take this secret with me to my grave.

But then Stephanie Jacobs had this slumber party.

And we were playing truth or dare.

And she asked me point blank, do you have a crush on Dale?

And I had to say yes.

And then on Monday, she told everybody, including Dale, who came up to me at recess and asked me out.

But it was a joke.

And then he started laughing.

And then all of his friends started laughing.

And then everyone was laughing.

And then he, um, pantsed me.

Oh, my God.

That... he pantsed you?

Dale is an asshole.

I know, totally.

But he did teach me, um, the invaluable lesson that the only way to protect yourself from deep pain and humiliation is just to, like, bury your feelings deep within your soul and never let them out.

That's horrible.

I'm just... I'm kidding.

I'm... I mean, I'm...

I'm OK.

You're doing great.

Do you... do you need a cuddle?

Sure, I'll...

Like, a little one?

I'll... I'll take a little cuddle, only a little one, though, OK?

Do you want to know what my vision for life was?


Yeah, sure.

You're gonna make fun of me.


I don't know.

I kind of want, like, what my parents have, like, I don't know, being with someone for decades and still being in love.





I'm sorry.

Is Ben moving?


Oh, OK.

Um, sorry.

Uh, why are you here?

Uh, Ben?

Yeah, is it the pizza?



Um, yeah, I was just wondering if you knew what was going on with the, um...

It's a scheduled power cut.

They're doing maintenance on the lines.

Yeah, they... they sent out a letter.


I should, um, probably check my mail more often.

I'm sorry.

Are you... are you guys dating?



Cool, great, that's cool.

I'm sorry.

Did... did you know that we dated when you showed me the apartment?


Right, because that would be crazy.

Yeah, obviously, I didn't know.


Yeah, well, goodnight.

Yeah. Goodnight.

Enjoy your pizza... Goodnight.

...when it arrives.

Yeah, all right. See ya.


This is disgusting.

Why did you make me get this?

It's so good.

It's disgusting.

You're crazy.

I am not crazy.

You're bananas.

Um, what's going on with Ben?

Um, nothing, what do you mean?

Like, have you talked to him or Meg since the blackout?

Uh, no, I haven't really seen them around.

What's happening with Marcus?

Mm, nothing, he's an asshole.

Well, yes, for any specific reason this time?

I texted him high, like, four weeks ago, and he never replied.

So, yeah, done with him.

Do you promise?



Yes, I'm serious.

OK, I believe you.

He's just so friggin' charming.

And when we're together, he's very complimentary.

Gabs, I get it.

But it's not real, and then it goes away really fast.

And it leaves you feeling like shit.

And you're settling, and you know it.


I should get back to work. OK.

I love you.

I love you.

I'll see you later.


I'd date you if I was a boy.

Treat you better than Marcus.



Oh, it's good to see you.

You, too.

How was London?

Oh, it was great. London was great.


How are you?

Good, listen.

The short stories you sent me were very funny and very engaging.

That's so great to hear from you.

Thank you.

But this... this is not short.

Uh, no.

This is a novel.

Yeah, I hope so.

I am assuming it's a work in progress, yes?

Oh, yes, yes, 100%.

Because right now, the story seems scattered.

OK, yeah.

Firstly, the character, I don't understand her motivation for anything.

I mean, the friendship part is very good.

It's fleshed out.

It's very nice.

But that man...


He just seems like a jerk.


Why don't we go through specifics.

OK. All right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what?

Let's start at the top, even this just whole beginning.

So send me your next draft. I will, I promise.



Thank you, Susan.





They have candy corn here.


What's wrong?

I just... I don't understand who has a rooftop party for Halloween.

It's October.

It's freezing.

I'm fine.

Um, I did see some really cute boys in line for the bathroom.

How cute?

Like, really cute.

Like potential husband material cute?


Tonight could be the night.

I mean, I feel like tonight probably is the night.

We'll just turn this night upside down and make it...

Oh, my God, Marcus is here.

...the night we meet our husbands.





I'm Eliot.

I admit, that was kind of creepy.


Well, it's Halloween.

Chin chin.


Chin chin, it's, like, a British thing.

Sure, sure.


So do you have any, like, hobbies or...

Uh, yep, yeah.


Um, I have hobbies.

They, um, are I...

I like to eat.


OK, controversial.

Hey, hey.


Oh, my God, how are you?


I'm good.

How are you?

Great, yeah, really good, it's so good to see you.

You seem weird.

Are you... are you... are you OK?

No, I'm... I'm fine.


You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Would you, uh, do you want to come over to my place or whatever or...

Uh, I... I can't.

I'm here with Diana. Oh, come on.

I miss you.

Well, how about we go on a date next Friday?

I... uh, next Friday, I just...

I've got some plans.

But, I mean, maybe definitely afterwards, like, I could... you know, you could like come through my crib.

Or, like, I could call you or...

Yeah, OK, just let me know.

Um, I'm gonna get some candy.

Do you want anything?

No, I'm... I'm good.

Just hurry back.


You don't have any interest in dating only me, do you?

Oh, uh...

No, it's OK.

It's fine.

I just... I'm having the realization right now that... that this is never going to be anything more than what it is.

And... and that's fine.

But I'm going to opt out.

Can I just say one more thing?

You're not a bad guy.

But just so you know, saying that you miss me or that you really like me, that is what makes you not a good guy.

So don't call me, OK?

Yeah, OK.


So, anyway, that was when I realized that I would just never live like my father.


You know what I'm saying?


It was a... moment for Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

...big moment for me.

Adriana, oh, my God, this is crazy.

Oh, is that... does she want to hang or...

Oh, well, look who it is.

Julian. Diana.

Hi. Hey.



What's up?

How are you?

Good, how are you?

I'm good.

Yeah, I'm good.

Ben told me you moved into his building.

Yes, that happened, yes.

It's weird, right?

Excuse me?

It's weird for you to do that.

It's kind of, like, a crazy ex-girlfriend thing to do.

I mean, I didn't know that he live there in the building.

How would you? How would you?

Exactly, exactly, how would I?

I don't know.

I gotta go.

But, uh, it was great seeing you.

Hey, you OK?



Tonight wasn't the night, huh?


No, yeah, you want to go get drunk somewhere else?

Yes, great, please. Let's do it.


Lead the way, Marie.

Happy Halloween.



I tripped over a package.

It is addressed to Ben.

Um, this package for... this is Ben's package.

I just brought it to Ben to avoid, uh, further dangers.

All right.

So no more trips.

It's for Ben.

I'll give it to him.

Like I just said, uh, this is Benjamin Wineburger to set down.


I will give it to him.

OK, so great.

I'll trade you for the candy, all right?

Oh, I don't know what to do with this.

All right, I'm sorry.

This is banana flavored.


Hey, can we slow down?

No, my dad hates it when I'm late.

Also, uh, make sure to shake his hand, like, super firmly because he hates a weak handshake.

OK, yeah, I... I have a good handshake.

Just super firm.

OK, yeah, I mean... Um, also...

...I don't want to hurt him.

...make sure you enunciate, because he really hates it when people mumble.

I don't... I don't mumble.

I'm not a... I'm not a mumbler.

I mean, I...

I say things... OK.

...pretty clearly.


So, Ben, what do you want to do?

I'm... I mean, I haven't totally figured that out yet.

He... he wants to work in music.

Definitely, still figuring it out, I have ideas.

Um, I'm not as organized as Diana.

Oh, yeah, we're all really excited about her London adventure, especially her grandmother.

I mean, she sounds great.

I can't wait to meet her.

Oh, have you planned a trip?

Oh, no, not yet, but I'd love to go, you know.

There's a ton of music stuff happening there all the time.

So, you know, and, like, historically with the Beatles and, you know, just the British invasion generally, um.

Do you think you might move there?

Um, I don't know, maybe.

Hey, are you guys ready to order?

I'm going to actually just run to the bathroom quickly.

Oh, it... the bathroom is in the back of the restaurant.

Oh, OK, great, thank you.

Yeah, I think we're gonna need a minute.

That's fine.

OK, thank you.


So he might move with you?

I... I have no idea where that came from.

I... yeah, I don't know why he even said that.

We... we haven't discussed that.

Well, what have you discussed?

Nothing, really.

OK, well, you need to think this through.

I know, Dad.

Because if he's thinking about moving there for you...

Yeah, I know.

I just don't want you to be in a situation where you're rushing into some big commitment at a time when you should be focusing on your writing...

Dad, I am focused.

...and yourself.

And I'm not saying that you can't find a way to make this work.

Just be sensible.

I don't want you to get stuck.

Mm, mm-hmm.

So, uh, they had some mints in the bathroom.

I thought I'd, uh, for later, you know, after, after-brunch mints.

I'm just gonna...

I'll put them in my purse.

Yeah, that's great. Do you want to order?

Yeah, let's order. OK.

One, two, three, four, you really just want to keep your heart rate up for now.

And then after this, we'll do some stretching and strength work. Just follow along.

OK, hip rolls.

Oh, wait.

I have... I have a bit of news.

What is it?

Um, I have been asked to be in a play.


It's just one night.

It's just a little benefit, but I think it will be fun.

What's it about?

It's about a husband and wife who... you know what?

I want you to be surprised.

But will you come? Yes, I will come.

What? When is it?

In a month.

OK, this is amazing.

I'm going to get us some water.

OK, I'd really like some water.

Keep hip rolling. All right.

Oh, could you get it?




What's up?

Uh, I just wanted to make sure everything was OK.

I heard a lot of banging and...

Oh, yeah, uh, sorry.

Um, I'll put a yoga mat down or something.

Great, thanks.




Do you think you could back off Ben a little bit?

I'm sorry.


I am trying to be cool with you.

I just am not an idiot, and I see what you're doing, always hanging around.

Um, yeah, I'm not, uh, always hanging around.

I live here.

Uh, yeah, I can just see you when you're creeping outside his window.

Yeah, um, I'm sorry.

I really don't know what you're talking about.

Um, I've been sweeping out front as of late.

Maybe you've seen me sweeping leaves, um, but definitely not creeping.


Well, maybe you'll stop jumping then.

Uh, yeah, we will totally... we'll do our best to keep it down.

Great, thanks.



What did she want?

Uh, she's out of her mind.

What happened?

She think I'm creeping on Ben.

Are you creeping on Ben?

No, I'm not creeping on Ben.


Why is it a crime to want to be friends with your ex-boyfriend?

It's not a crime.

It's just a question.

Whatever, she's great.


Good morning, angel.

No, no, no, he's awake.

We had the best time last night.

Dad was just saying how romantic it all was.

It was very, very special for us.

OK, that sounds wonderful.

I'll see you in a bit, sweet girl.

I love you.

No, I love you.

You were amazing.

Oh, you're crazy.

Thank you very much.

You were... these are for you.

Oh, they're... these are so beautiful.

You are so beautiful.

Wow, wow, wow, thank you very much.

I'm just relieved.

Would you... would you guys like to come to the party?

I hear that there's going to be cotton candy and steak.


Separately, of course, but both delicious.

That is a dynamite combination.

That's amazing. Right?


Um, I would so love to, but I have to work...

Oh. ...early.

OK. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I have to work, too, Amy.

I'm sorry. All right.

But you were... you were so good.

Thank you.

You are... are so nice, and get home safe.


And don't wait for me, 'cause I'm going to go party.

Yeah. Yeah.


Go party so hardy. I'm going to.

You better.

You deserve it. Bye.

Bye. Congrats.


Thank you so much for coming, you guys.

All right.

I, um, well, I'm... we're both going this way, right?

Do you want to...

Yeah, sure.


So hungry.

Yeah, me, too.

Um, listen.

We don't have to.

Uh, but I know this really great Italian place.

It's just around the corner, if you want to.


We don't... you know, we don't have to.

Yeah, no, let's do it.

Yeah, OK.

Get... get Italian food.

Yeah, great, let's get... yeah, it's just, um, it's up here.

Thank you. Thanks.

It's been so cold.

Yeah, uh, yeah, yeah, it's almost... almost winter, basically.


So how are you?

Oh, I'm... I'm good.

Good. Thanks.

Yeah, I hear you've been making music, and... and that it's going really well.

It's still a struggle.

But, yeah, I mean, it's going pretty well.

I'm... I'm on the road.

Wait. You're touring?

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I meant the figurative road.

I can see how that would be misleading.

Um, I'm... I'm working in commercials.

That's great.


Ben, that's great.


Yeah, I'm... I'm really happy for you.

Thank you.

How are you?

Um, yeah, I'm...

I'm, um...

You guys want anything to drink?

Uh, yes.

I would love a glass of your house red and just some lemon for my water, please.

We have no lemons.

You don't have lemons?


I'm sorry.

But you have lemon risotto on your menu.

Lemons only for the food.

So you do have lemons?

We do.

Do you want a lemon risotto?


No, thank you.

I... I just want a slice of lemon for my water.

Well, the lemons are only for the food.


Uh, OK, I... I will just have the wine then, please.


Oh, yeah, I'll have...

I'll have the same.

OK, so two wines, zero lemons.

I wonder if they have lemons.

I wanted to ask him.

You should have asked.

He'll be back.



Nothing, I'm gonna do the bread.

Yeah, let's do the bread.


Dare I ask for butter?

I wouldn't. Yeah, no.


I'm not gonna do it.

Butter is for cooking.

I mean, what's inside a banana is... is the banana's business.

There's no name for it.

Oh, no, we don't... we don't... just that's not our business.

You're right.

OK, but how many A's are there in banana?

Seriously, like...

Like, 15.

...realistically, there are, like, 20.

Yeah, 15... No, like, 20.

I get... I'm actually being serious.

I get it.

I do this all the time when I... like, when I'm reading.

I lose sight of words completely.

Right? Yes, yes.

OK, so I'm not alone here. You're not alone in the world.

Thank you. I'm...

Thank you. I'm here.

I needed that.

Amy was incredible tonight.

Yeah, yeah, she's... she's, like, really good.


Is, um, Meg just not a theater fan?

Um, uh, we broke up.


I'm so sorry.

Oh, it's OK.

I, um, I didn't know.

I'm sorry.

No, it's... it's really OK.

Well, this is me.

This is you.

Uh, well, it was really nice hanging out with you.

Yeah, um, yeah, I had a really nice time.

No, Ben.


You know you flirt with me, right?


I... no, I don't.

I thought... um, I thought you had a girlfriend until, like, 90 seconds ago.

OK, I don't get it.

I mean, what... what do you want from me?

I... I just want to be your friend.

OK, uh, I feel like...

I feel like we've been through this.

I can't be friends with you.



Does my tongue look weird to you?

Uh, all tongues look weird, Diana.

Yeah, no, I know.

But, like, why does it have that brownish tint?

I think you... didn't you just have coffee?


Or you're dying.

Oh, yeah.

You're probably dying.

Am I dying?

More than likely, I'm doing.

No, no, no, what are you doing?

That is not a fun game.

It's not a fun game?


OK, OK, this is... this is actually great.

Yeah? Yeah.

Can I?

Please, keep doing this. OK.

This is nice.

This is a friendly game.

Well, why not?

Just because you don't do that.

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

Hello. Hi.

How are you?


Barry, nice to meet you.

How was your drive up?

It was lovely.

Here, meet... meet... meet Diana.

Diana, I'm Shannon.

And you are? Hello.

Hello. I'm Ben.

Moisha. It was wonderful.

Moisha, nice to see you, Moisha.

You look good.

You look very good.

Thank you for having me. All right, let's go inside.

Come on. Are you cold?

Any... any issues with the car?

Oh, it smells so good. Uh, no.

Did you check the oil? Was he a good driver?

Did you get my text? Yes.

I... OK.

You're not supposed to text him when he's driving.

Please, start.

Everybody, just dig in.

It looks very good.

Do you want some of this?

Uh, yeah.

Diana, these potatoes are unbelievable.

I don't know how she does it.

Oh, thank you.

Butter, if it's good, it's always butter.

That's so true.

Diana loves butta.

I do.

I don't like butter, but I love butta.

Try the potatoes.

OK, let's see.

Oh, my God, these are so good.


That's why we've been together for 30 years.

30 years.

30 years, that's amazing.

We were your age when we met.


And I have to tell you, we still know how to shmear each other's bagels.


If you get my meaning. Dad.

Barry. No, stop.

Of course, we get your meaning.

Barry, don't embarrass him.

We're still madly in love...

No, it's... ...with each other.

That's what marriage... Oh, speak for yourself.

We're crazy about each other.

Speak for yourself.

I'm crazy about you. Mm-hmm.

I love you.

Mm-hmm. I love you.


He's OK.

I'm OK.

Yeah, just OK.

I'm really glad you came.

Oh, me, too, thank you for having me.

It's nice to see Ben so happy.

Can I say something to you?

Yeah, of course.


I know I shouldn't say anything.

But he told me that you seemed confused about what to do when you move to London.

I just... be sensitive.

Just be careful with him.

Can you do that?

Yea... yes, yeah, of course.

Thank you very much.


Um, I'm going to get the boys for the pots and pans.

Barry, Barry.



My mom put Hanukkah gelt on our pillows.

How sweet is that?

That is very sweet, very sweet.

Come here.



Did you have fun today?

Yeah, yeah.

I know my parents can be a little much, but they mean well.

They're great.

They're great.

I had a great time.

Good, they loved you.

That... that's so nice.

I really like them.


Um, why did you tell my dad that you might move?

Uh, that was kind of a while ago.

I don't know.

Um, I've been thinking about it.

I guess I just don't know how, um, it would work legally, you know, uh, because I'm a dual citizen.

But you're not, and it's quite hard to get a job there if you're not sponsored.

And so I...

I just didn't know how it would work legally for you.

Yeah, I mean, I hadn't thought it through, like, legally.

I guess it just... it felt like a really big thing for you to bring up at lunch with my dad when you hadn't met him yet and... and we hadn't even discussed it yet.

And, um...


I just, like, just...

we'll have to figure it out.

Yeah, yes, you're right.

We'll figure it out.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

We'll be fine.

Don't worry.


I love you.

I love you.

Do you want to turn those off?


Ah, there you go.




It's a good tree.

You know, this was Patrick's favorite time of year, the... the beginning of winter.

Oh, yeah?

Looking forward to the first snow and all that, yeah.

You know, today is our anniversary.


Yeah, he proposed after three months, my God.

And you said yes. I did.

When did you know you wanted to marry him?

Oh, I don't know.

I'm not sure it was a conscious realization.

When he first asked me to marry him, yes came right out.

I figured if that was my first instinct, I shouldn't overthink it.

I mean, I didn't know that we would be together for so many years.

I hoped we would.

But I just knew that I loved him, and I thought I'd like to try to being married to him.


Well, happy anniversary.

Thank you.

It's just it sucks that he died.

Yeah, it does.

Should we try and find some rice cakes and peanut butter?


I could go for some rice cakes and peanut butter.

Look, I want all of them.


I want all the rice cakes and peanut butter.

I think I have some.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

Ben is now going to leave his lease.

So there will be some new leases coming up, FYI.

That's great.

That's great.

Um, that will make life so much easier.

We'll make sure his replacement isn't someone you've dated.

Yeah, yes, please.

Thank you.

This... this is great news.

Yeah, well, this one time I was on the six train.

And there was a break dancer...

Mm-hmm., on the pole... Yeah.

...doing a crazy move. And he spun around.

I was like, this is so annoying.

And I realized it was Max, my RA from freshman year who I hooked up with.

What's up?


What's up?

Uh, nothing.


You hooked up with your RA?

Yeah, I told you that, I think.

Oh, have so much fun with your sister.

I will, and I will see you in a couple of weeks.

OK. Please, be careful.

I'm going to be so warm.

Don't slip.

Oh, my God, please, be warm for both of us.

I will, bye. OK.

Oh, shoot, I forgot to take the trash our.

Oh, I'll get it when I, um, water your pants.

I'll do it when I come home.

Are you sure?

Yes, go.



OK, thank you, doll.

OK, call me if anything terrible happens.



Oh, my God, are you OK?

Yeah, no, I'm good.

Oh, shit, Diana, oh, my...

No, I'm fine. Um.

I'm fine.

Just hang out for, like, uh, a minute.

I'm going to... I'm going to get my jacket, and we're going to get into a cab.

I don't... where did the blood come from?

OK, the doctor will be in in a minute.

OK, thank you.


Hey, why were you there tonight?

I was just cleaning, you know, before I give my keys back.

Right, right.

Thank you for, um, thank you for bringing me.

You didn't have to do that.


Yeah, of course.

Diana, I'm Dr. Maples.


I hear you had a bit of a fall.

Uh, yes, I slipped on some black ice.

OK, we're going to send you down to x-ray for your ankle.

But first we're going to get a nice look at that gash on your forehead.

OK, um, so I was thinking maybe we could just glue it, because I remember this one time when I was little.

I cut my finger, and they glued it.

And it worked really well.

So I was thinking maybe we could just do that.

Yeah, the reason that we can't glue it is because of its depth.

The glue only works for shallow cuts.

For deep ones, I have to really get in there.

You OK?

Um, mm-hmm, I'm just not that good with, um, needles or pain or just really anything that's happening right now.

All right, I'm going to do it right now.

Don't move.


Hey, I think you're going to make it.

I can't be... I can't be sure.

But things are looking good.

What is it, like, 75%?

I'm going to go with, like, I'm going to go with 80%.

OK, 80% is good.

He seems to be a real doctor.

80% is a good percentage.

He looks like an actual medical doctor.


I'm making scrambled eggs.

Do you want some?


Can I sit down?


What's going on?


Are you OK?


Diana, are you OK? Are Are you OK?

What's going on?


What... what happened?

Diana, what happened?

Yeah, I think we should break up.


What, are... are you breaking up with me?



Ben, I'm... I don't...

I'm leaving.

I kno...

I know.

You... we... we talked about this.

We didn't.

Yes, uh, it's fine.

Like, we're gonna work it out.

We didn't talk about it.

Yeah, we definitely... we definitely talked about it, OK?

And, like, it's... you know, it's just a couple of years.

So I'm going to come visit you.

A couple of years is a very long time.

No, it's gonna be totally... it's not that long.

Diana, it's not that long.

Diana, peo... people do this all the time.

I... I love you.


Come on.

Tell me what's going on.

We don't To do this.


It's OK.

You're just so sure of me, and it's a lot of pressure.

I don't...

I'm not... I'm not trying to pressure you.

I just want to be with you.

Um, I just...

We can totally figure this out.

I feel like I need to focus on myself and my writing.

And... OK.


I just don't want to hold you back from anything.

You're not holding me back.

And I don't want...

What would you be holding me back from?

I just don't want us to get trapped in something.

I don't know what...

I don't know what you mean by that.

I just don't want to ruin our friendship.

That's what you... that's what you want?

You want to be friends?

Ben, I'm breaking up with you, OK?


Thank you.

Yep, OK, puddle.


Puddle. OK.

OK. Thank you.


All right.


Do you need anything else?

Uh, no, I think I'm good.

Water and meds is perfect.

OK, good.

I'm glad you made it.

Me, too.

Thanks for helping me tonight, really.

Yeah, you're welcome.

Just being a friend, I guess.

Sure you're OK?


Yeah, I'm good.

I guess I won't be seeing you around anymore.

Well, I wish you luck in all of your future endeavors.

Thank you.

You, too.

Why, thank you.

You're welcome.

Hey, um, does my head look OK?

It just... it just kind of stings.

Um, I mean, yeah, I don't want to take the bandage off.

Yeah, I really think it's OK.

I'm gonna go.

Yeah, OK.

Feel better.

Thank you.

OK, bye.



Bye. Thanks.

Yeah, you're welcome. Bye.

Stay warm. OK, bye.


Do you want some tea, too?

Yes, please.

Thank you.

So how are you feeling?

Good, I'm better, yeah.


Foot's still bothering me a little bit, but...

That will take some time.

I can't believe you took such a tumble.

I know. I know.

It was, um, stupid.

I saw our new neighbor.

Oh, yeah, he's in med school.

I thought it would be handy to have an in-house doctor.

Yes, probably wise.

So how is your book coming?

Um, not great.

Why not?

I just haven't really been working on it.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

Um, I don't know what I'm doing.

Well, what do you want to be doing?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

Doll, you're thinking too much.

Do you want to be writing?

Yeah, yeah.

Then don't get comfortable doing something else.

Don't settle before you've even really tried to do what you want.

Yeah, but, uh, what if it doesn't work out?

What if I'm not any good?

I know.

But you can't not go for what you really want because you're scared of not getting it.

And listen.

Things might not work out.

You might not succeed.

You might get rejected.

Those things might happen, or they might not.

But they are things worth knowing.

I know.

You're trying to protect yourself.

That you're doing it to a fault, and I don't want you to regret not trying.

Be brave.


Thank you.

How's Ben?

I don't know 'cause he doesn't live here anymore.

Oh, sweetie.

I think I fucked up.

Do you have anything stronger?

Yes, I do.

OK, can we drink that?

Yes, we can.


Make a plan.



What are you doing here?

I... I brought you your sweater because I'm leaving tomorrow.



Oh, hi.

Oh, thanks.

...more than I want to do it, you know?

Seriously? Oh.


Hey, Diana, Diana.



What's up?

Are you OK?


Yeah, Amy gave me your address.

I hope that's OK.


Um, yeah, I didn't know Meg was gonna be there, so I'm sorry.

Are you guys back together?

I don't know.

We're figuring it out.

Is everything OK?





Except I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with you.

So, um, OK.

OK, so I know that I hurt you.

I know... I know that I hurt you, and I'm so sorry.

I was scared, and I was so confused.

And, um, I thought that if I ended it, that it would be less painful later on.

But it wasn't.

And then I moved back, and I saw you.

And I just didn't know what to do.

So, um, I told myself that I just wanted to be your friend, or that I was just lonely.

But that's not it because, um, I think about you all the time.

I think about you all the time.

And I... I don't know if, um, we got back together, if we would grow old together or if we would just break up again.

And it would be horrible and sad.

But, um, but I'm in love with you, Ben.

This is so unfair.

I mean, you can't do this now.

I'm OK, you know?

And it... it took me a while.

I just... I just can't go there again.


Um, don't... don't say no for the same reason that I said no because I was an idiot.

Just, um, just please only say no if you actually want to say no.

I'm really sorry.

I gotta go.


Uh, yeah, I was just making sure that you got my samples.

Oh, OK, great, um, yes, that's it.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Oh, yeah.

Mm, hey.

I got you hot chocolate.

Aw, thanks, baby.

You're welcome.

Hey, I've been thinking about starting to go by Gabrielle.

What do you think?

Um, no.


I don't know.

I feel like it sounds more professional.

Mm, no, I like Gabby.

I also think I'm going to stop wearing bras.

Right, because it's not professional?

No, but apparently it's good for your boobs.

Like, I read this article about how wearing bras all the time can make your boobs sag earlier because the tissue and the ligaments... or maybe it's the muscles... anyway, they become lazy or something.


Yeah, I'm getting the details mixed up, but it's true.

I thought it was that, like, the underwire actually helps to sort of remind them to, like, sit up straight.

You know, that they're like...

Uh, D, Ben's here.

I'm gonna go.

Um, just go say hi.

And... and don't be weird, OK?

OK, just call me later.



What are you doing here?

I was just, uh, picking up some mail that Amy had for me.

It's actually, uh, warrants for my arrest.


Parking tickets, I guess I just forgot about them.

I mean, you had so many parking tickets.

I don't even own a car.

Well, there's always Mexico.

Yeah, yeah, no, Mexico is not something I considered.

But now I'll probably do that.

Um, what are you actually doing right now?

Um, I have to pick up my dry cleaning, uh, before they close.

Oh, OK.



Yeah, um, maybe do you want to come?