The Commitments (1991) Script

Ha-ha!

♪ Yeah, my man!

♪ All right!

♪ I wanna tell you a story

♪ Every man oughta know

♪ If you want a little lovin'

♪ You gotta start real slow

♪ She's gonna love you Tonight now

♪ If you just Treat her right now

♪ Oh, squeeze her real gentle

♪ You gotta make her feel good

♪ Tell her that you love her

♪ Like you know you should

♪ 'Cause if you don't Treat her right now

♪ She won't love you Tonight now

♪ If you practice my method

♪ Just as hard as you can

♪ You're gonna get a reputation

♪ As a lovin' man now

♪ And you'll be glad Every night

♪ That you treated her right

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey!

♪ In the town of Springhill Nova Scotia


Tell us about the early days, Jimmy.

How did it all begin?

Well, Terry, I was always in the music business, but I was more on the sales side in those days.

Fuck off.

♪ Don't want your kisses

♪ That's for sure

♪ I die each time

♪ I hear this sound

♪ Here he comes

♪ That's Cathy's clown

♪ Here he comes

♪ Dearest

♪ Darlin'

♪ I have to write to say That I won't be home

♪ Anymore

♪ 'Cause something happened

♪ To me

♪ While I was drivin' home

♪ And I'm not the same

♪ Anymore

♪ Oh, I was only

♪ Twenty-four hours from Tulsa

♪ Only

♪ One day away from your arms

♪ I saw a welcoming light

♪ Said to the man At the railroad station

♪ I want a ticket Just for one

♪ He said, Well, if you insist

♪ Oh-oh

♪ Destination anywhere How are ya? Jimmy!

Neil! You got the video?

Yeah. Mississippi Burning, wasn't it?

Have you got any Hothouse Flowers?

♪ Because I saw her today

♪ I saw her face

♪ It was the face of love

♪ And I knew

♪ I had to run away

♪ And get down on my knees And pray

♪ That they'd go away

♪ But still they begin

♪ Those needles and pins, yeah

♪ Because of all my pride

♪ The tears I gotta hide

♪ Right now, yeah!

♪ Needles and pins, yeah

♪ Needles and pins, yeah

♪ Needles and pins

♪ Needles and pins Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

We'll take a short break here, but we'll be back, so stay in the groove.

Gin and tonic okay?

Hi, Imelda, you're lookin' deadly!

What are you doin' here, Jimmy Rabbitte?

Friend of the band's.

You're sure no friend of my sister's!

From what I heard, the fella she's marrying hardly knows her.

Cheeky bastard!

I suppose you'll be next.

Why me? I'm not bleedin' pregnant!

Imelda. See ya, Jimmy.

Fuck off!

Well, I'm three months gone. It's a bit tight.

Oh, I can feel it!

You can feel it already?

That's great! Can you feel it?

Why do you want me to manage it?

Cos you know everything about music, Jimmy.

You had Frankie Goes To Hollywood's album before anyone heard of them.

And you were first to realize they were shite.

What's shite is what you were playin' up there.

We have to play that stuff for a wedding.

What do you call yourselves?

And And And.

And And fuckin' And?

Ray is thinkin' of putting an exclamation mark after the second "And."

He says it'll look deadly on the posters.

You don't like it?

Do you think it should go at the end?

I think it should go up his arse.

We're not married to it.

Oh, no.

Dance, ya bastard!

♪ I've looked at the ocean

♪ Tried hard to imagine

♪ The way you felt The day you sailed

♪ From Wester Ross To Nova Scotia

♪ We should have helped you

♪ We should have told you Look at that idiot!

That idiot's singin' somethin' approximating music.

What are you saying, Jimmy? I mean, we need direction.

If I'm gonna be the manager, Ray's no longer in the band.

Why not?

I don't like him. I never have.

I hate him, to be honest with ya.

But he owns the synth.

No one uses synths anymore. It's back to basics.

Just as well, 'cause we've fuck-all else.

♪ Take a look up The railtrack

Jesus!

What the fuck is that?

It's me hanky.

Here you are, Imelda.

Thanks.

What are yous lookin' at?

Nothin'.

I'll have this washed for you, Jimmy.

That's okay.

Wash it? I'd fuckin' frame it!

What does she see in him, for Christ's sake?

He looks like he models fuckin' knittin' patterns!

Mothers love him.

Why? He's a prick!

He's a prick with a job.

There's a band, Free Beer. They always pull a big crowd.

I like A Flock of Budgies.

That's a stupid name.

It's better than bleedin' yours: Cosmic Lino.

It has to be "The" something.

All the best '60s bands were "The" somethings.

We could be The Northsiders.

Or The Liffey Lads?

How about The Fuckin' Idiots?

What kind of music are we goin' to be playin', Jimmy?

You're workin' class, right?

We would be if there was any work.

Your music should be about where you're from and the sort of people you come from.

It should speak the language of the streets.

It should be about struggle and sex.

And I don't mean mushy shite about, "I'll hold your hand and love you till the end o' time."

I mean ridin', fuckin', tongues, gooters, boxes. The works!

Jesus! What kind of music says all that?

Soul.

Soul?

Soul! We're goin' to be playing Dublin Soul.

Dublin Soul.

Fuckin' deadly!

Dublin Soul, wha'?

Jimmy!

Dublin Soul!

♪ In a window pane

♪ Do you remember

♪ When we was together

♪ Everything was so grand

♪ Now

♪ Now that we've parted

♪ You know there's one thing

♪ That I just can't stand

Are you Mr. Rabbitte? Yeah.

I've come about the ad.

What ad?

The one in the paper.

"Have you got soul? If so..."

Ya have the wrong Rabbitte!

Can I have me paper back?

Fuck off!

Listen, Jimmy, I've more things to be doin' than ironing shirts for you every day of the week.

There's more people in the house, you know.

What's this?

What's what?

"Have you got soul?

"If so, the world's hardest-working band is looking for you.

"Contact J Rabbitte. Rednecks and southsiders need not apply."

World's hardest-working band!

Was that someone about it?

Where are you goin'? You haven't finished your dinner.

Out.

Can I borrow your hairdryer?

Go and shush!

And leave my aftershave alone.

Who was that at the door?

Some snotty-nosed young fella with a mouth organ.

You put an ad in the paper?

I'm puttin' a band together.

Do you need a singer?

♪ Wise men say

♪ Only fools rush in

♪ But I can't help

♪ Falling in love

♪ With you

♪ Like the river flows...

Elvis is not soul.

Elvis is God!

I never pictured God with a fat gut in a corset singing My Way at Caesar's Palace!

Don't upset your father.

Who are your influences?

Uh... Barry Manilow.

Who are your influences?

Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell...

Wings.

Bachman Turner Overdrive?

Spandau Ballet. Soft Cell.

Sinead O'Connor.

Hi, I've come about the audition.

Led Zeppelin.

Uh...

Billy and The Bollix.

U2?

♪ Well, the black folks Are starvin'

♪ And the white trash Is carpin'

♪ Blood on the mirror And there's blood on your face

♪ Look so good

♪ I've really done my best

♪ Powder, paint and lipstick

♪ The latest Paris dress

♪ Papa, rumba, rumba Hey, Papa Joe, coconuts

♪ Papa Joe, hey, Papa Joe

♪ Yeah, hey, Papa Joe


♪ And still I dream He'll come to me

♪ That we will live The years together

♪ In the haze of a drunken hour

Yeah, I know how ya feel.

♪ Elvis was a Cajun

♪ He had a Cajun heart

♪ Had to move down to Memphis

♪ Cos that's where He got his start Fuckin' blasphemy! Elvis wasn't a Cajun!

♪ All that time in Graceland And in Vegas What do you play?

I used to play football at school.

I mean what instrument?

I don't.

So what are ya doin' here?

Well, I saw everybody else linin' up, so...

I thought ya were sellin' drugs.

Hey, lads. This is Dean Fay.

How are ya? Outspan Foster. Outspan. How are you?

Derek Scully. All right. Nice to meet you.

He says his influences are Clarence Clemons and the guy from Madness.

That's a nice sax.

Yeah. I haven't had it long.

Me uncle gave it to me when his lung collapsed.

This the band, is it?

Yeah.

Bet you U2 are shittin' themselves.

You still wearing the blue suede shoes, Mr. Rabbitte?

Fuck off, carrot-head!

Any chance for me, lads?

In your wildest dreams, Jimmy, did ya ever think you'd be this big?

To be honest, Terry, I did. Even in the early days.

As big as The Rolling Stones?

Who the fuck are they, Terry?

Who's in there with ya?

I'm being interviewed on television!

It's Colonel Jimmy Rabbitte now, wha'? Interviewed on television!

In the bath he's interviewing himself!

Yeah?

Jimmy, there's another one.

Yeah?

I saw the ad. Did ya?

Yeah. I'm a singer.

Is that right? Let's hear ya, then.

Here? Yeah.

Can I come inside?

No.

In the hall, even? No.

I can't sing. Not out here.

Fair enough. See ya.

Okay. Thanks.

♪ Only the lonely

♪ Know the way I feel tonight

♪ Only the lonely

♪ Know this feeling Ain't right I can't play for yous cos me drum kit's in the pawnshop.

But I'm good.

Who are your influences? Animal in the Muppets.

Animal!

Jesus!

I used to play in a band.

What did they do?

Depeche Mode. Aztec Camera.

Fuckin' art-school stuff.

The Beatles went to art school.

So did Roxy Music, and you bought their albums.

It's who it's aimed at.

Wankers with funny haircuts and rich dads with fuck-all else to do all day but pricking around with synths.

That sounds like me ex.

But I'm sure you're right, Jimmy.

Me boss has a truck I can get the use of.

To move gear around. Could be handy, Billy.

Might help till we get a tour bus.

Hey! There's Imelda Quirke!

Fuck! Do you know her?

Yeah.

She was in our school.

Oh, look at that body! She is beautiful!

She's a little ride, isn't she?

You'd think she'd be in a cocktail bar sippin' drinks with umbrellas.

She's almost too perfect.

You mean you'd stand a chance if she had bandy legs and a hump?

When this band's happenin', you'll be fightin' women off.

They'll be throwing knickers on the stage.

Ohh! Rock'n'roll!

You won't get that with And And And.

We told Ray we left the band.

How did he take it? Not too bad.

He said he was goin' solo.

Doesn't have much bleedin' choice!

Howyeh, Bernie?

How are ya, Jimmy?

How's things? Shite.

Give us a bag o' chips, will ya?

I like the hair. Are ya growing out the Sinead O'Connor?

Fuck off!

Do ya wanna be in a band?

Wha'?

Back-up singer, like.

Me?

Why not? You used to sing in the church choir. Lovely voice!

Fuck off! Do you want salt an' vinegar?

I'm serious. On the Bible.

I'm puttin' a band together. I need singers.

I'll think about it.

How much is that?

50p.

Thanks.

Are you still friendly with that, uh... Imelda?

Imelda Quirke?

Imelda Quirke. Will you ask her as well?

Yeah.

Thanks. See ya.

Jimmy? Me friend Natalie's got a great voice.

Good. Bring her. But don't forget Imelda.

Okay. See ya, Jimmy.

See ya.

What the fuck do they want Imelda Quirke for?

Fuckin' tits and arse, that's it.


Anyone sittin' here?

Doesn't look like it.

How's the soup?

Poxy.

Anything worth eatin'?

It's all poxy.

My name's Jimmy Rabbitte.

I'm puttin' a band together. I need a singer.

Me?

Yeah! I heard ya. You've a rare pair o' lungs.

Where'd ya hear me singin'?

At the Quirke wedding.

I was pissed out o' me brains. I had 14 rum an' blacks.

You got up and sang.

I did?

No one told me.

Hey, you!

Hey, you!

Hey!

That's enough!

Had to see if he could play before I paid.

I'll be back at the end o' the month.

That's what they all say.

I will! It's me ma's.

She thinks I'm havin' it cleaned.

Oi! Ginger!

Shut the fuck up, will ya!

♪ I... I... I...

♪ I

♪ I

♪ I

♪ I can feel

♪ Love

Can you sing that sort o' stuff?

I can sing anythin'.

It's not the singin'. It's how he does it The showmanship. Brilliant!

I'm not doin' that! I'd kneecap meself!

He's hurt, look. They're helpin' him off.

What'll they do now? Bring on a substitute?

It's the act, lads. Watch.

Five minutes, Jimmy.

How are you, gorgeous?

Go an' shite!

That's what you've got to measure up to, lads.

Do ya not think, uh...

What?

Well, like maybe we're a little white for that kind o' thing.

Do ya not get it, lads?

The Irish are the blacks of Europe.

And Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland.

And the Northside Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin.

So say it once, say it loud. I'm black an' I'm proud!

♪ Now I know it's wrong

♪ The things I ask you to do

♪ But please believe me Darlin'

♪ I don't mean to hurt you

♪ But could you slip away

♪ Take my hand You must be gettin' desperate.

Wait till you see the little bollix askin' for ya.

♪ One, two, cha-cha-cha

♪ One, two, cha-cha-cha

Yeah?

God bless you, Brother Rabbitte. Your band need a trumpet?

You're the same age as me dad!

You may speak the truth. But I'm 16 years younger than BB King.

You've heard of BB King?

I jammed with the man.

Piss off!

Leicester Mecca, 1972.

Didn't give it me best, though. Had a bit of a head cold.

What's your name, pal?

Joseph Fagan.

Joey "The Lips" Fagan.

And I'm Jimmy "The Bollix" Rabbitte!

I earned me name for me horn playin'. What did you earn yours for?

Don't get snotty with me, son.

I get snotty with no man.

You trying to tell me you played with BB King?

Among others, brother.

Like?

Have we got all day?

Screamin' Jay Hawkins. Martha Reeves.

Sam Cooke. Poor Sam.

Otis Redding. May the Lord have mercy on his sweet soul.

Joe Tex. The Four Tops. Stevie Wonder.

He was only 11. A pup.

Wilson Pickett...

Why are ya in Dublin?

I'm tired of the road. And me mammy isn't very well.

Why would ya want to join us?

The Lord sent me and the Lord blows my trumpet.

What did Evel Knievel want?

God sent him. What?

God sent him.

On a fuckin' Suzuki?


Jesus!

He can play. That's for sure.

The Lord doesn't like it when we whisper.

Why? Is he deaf?

I didn't join this band to sing Moon fuckin' River.

You won't be playing it.

It's merely my favorite lip-loosener.

We'll be playin' soul.

See, the Lord told me the Irish brothers needed some soul.

Well, Ed Winchell, a Baptist reverend on Lenox Avenue in Harlem, told me.

But the Lord told him to tell me.

He said the Irish brothers wouldn't be shootin' the arses off each other if they had soul.

I can't figure him out, Jimmy.

He talks like a priest and he's wearin' slippers!

He's played with all the greats. Even The Beatles.

The Beatles? Yeah.

♪ All you need is love!

That was Joey.

What's Steven Clifford doin' here? He's...

What?

A medical student. He's not like the rest of us.

Places we'll be playing, could be useful to have someone that could bandage heads.

I'm worried about the direction we're takin'.

Direction? What magazines you been readin', ya tosser?

Look, with Joey and me, we can touch greatness.

So if you want to be part of it, take in the tea, and I'll bring in the Jaffa Cakes.

It's the fuckin' Addams Family!

The Addams Family!

Hold on, girls.

I think I've got a ladder in me tights.

Imelda! Come on! I thought it was serious.

Who the fuck will be lookin' at your fuckin' thigh?

Fuckin' idiot!

Look at the size of that fuckin' doorknob!

Fuckin' huge!

I hope some o' these fuckin' fellas are gonna be rides.

Are you sure this is the right place?

I've never been here before!

Who told ya? It was Jimmy, was it?

Fuck, I don't know.

Um, sorry. We were lookin' for a band.

Oh! That's my boy Joey's. They're out the back.

Joey says no rehearsals till you get friendly with your instruments.

Friendly with mine already.

Shut up, Declan.

Deco. If I'm gonna front the band, I like the sound o' Deco.

Deco the bus conductor. Is that top Deco or bottom Deco?

The only bollixin' thing that's important is what this band's called.

Joey knows. Tell them.

We are...

We are...

At the end of the garden you'll find a ladder.

A ladder? Yes.

Right. Thank you.

You're welcome, girls.

What are ya gettin' us into, Bernie?

Fuck off, Natalie! We've come this far!

Over here?

Over the top! Over the top!

I'm not goin' over the fuckin' ladder!

You're over the fuckin' ladder!

You know 'em. You go.

The Commitments?

The Commitments? The Commitments?

It's a "The."

How do you spell it?

T-H-E.

It's very good. It's a statement.

I still like A Flock of Budgies.

Fuck me!

I just seen Imelda Quirke's arse comin' down a ladder!

Lads, you're lookin' at The Commitmentettes.

The Commitment-tits, ya mean!

Brilliant management, Brother Rabbitte.

Will they be dressed in black?

What are you bleedin' lookin' at?

♪ Destination anywhere

♪ East or west, I don't care

♪ Destination anywhere

♪ East or west, I don't care

♪ Destination anywhere

♪ East or west, I don't care

♪ Destination anywhere

From now on, I don't want you listenin' to Guns N' Roses an' The Soup Dragons.

I want a strict diet of soul.

James Brown for the growls, Otis Redding for the moans, Smokey Robinson for the whines, and Aretha for the whole lot put together.

Jimmy says soul is sex.

Dirty bastard!

I didn't say that. I said the rhythm of soul is the rhythm of ridin'.

You want us to sing as if we were ridin' with someone?

You can practice with me.

I'd bite your bollix off, ya spotty fuck!

Might fancy that.

Or make earrings out o' them!

Soul is the rhythm of sex, and it's the rhythm of the factory, too.

The working man's rhythm. Sex and the factory.

Not in the factory I'm in. Not much rhythm in guttin' fish!

Soul is the music that people understand.

It's basic and it's simple.

But it's somethin' else. Somethin' special.

Cos... cos it's honest.

It's honest. There's no fuckin' bullshit.

It sticks its neck out and says it straight from the heart.

There's lots of music ya can get off on, but soul is more than that.

It takes ya somewhere else.

It grabs you by the balls and lifts you above the shite.

♪ Said to the man At the railroad station

♪ I want a ticket

♪ Just for one

♪ He said, Well, if you insist

♪ Oh-oh

♪ Destination anywhere

♪ East or west, I don't care

♪ You see, my baby Don't want me no more

♪ And this old world ain't got

♪ No back door


Howayeh, Duffy?

This is Jimmy.

Howayeh?

Glad that dog's got a muzzle.

Have to. He keeps eatin' me bunnies.

So you've got a band? Yeah.

I don't know why you bother.

Everything's shite since Roy Orbison died.

What are ya short of?

I need a power amp, speakers, a desk, an' a few bits and pieces.

It's all here in the note.

That's no problem. How are ya payin'?

I can give you 50 now, some when we get the gear, and the rest when we do our first gig.

Most bands in Dublin don't last more than one gig, son.

Do ya need anythin' else? Bit o' blow?

No.

Oh, me ma would like one o' those things that wakes you up with a cup o' tea.

♪ Nowhere to run to, baby

♪ Nowhere to hide

♪ Got nowhere to run to, baby

♪ Nowhere to hide

♪ It's not love I'm runnin' from

♪ Just the heartbreak I know will come

♪ Cos I know You're no good for me I'm black an' I'm proud.

♪ Everywhere I go

♪ Your face I see

♪ Every step I take

♪ You take with me, yeah

♪ Each night as I sleep

♪ Into my heart

♪ You creep

♪ I wake up feelin' sorry I met you

♪ Hopin' soon that I'll forget you

♪ When I look in the mirror

♪ To comb my hair

♪ I see your face just Smilin' there, yeah

♪ Nowhere to run to, baby

♪ Nowhere to hide

♪ Got nowhere to run to, baby

♪ Nowhere to hide

♪ I know you're no good for me

♪ But you've become A part of me What? When can I stop?

When your hand falls off.

♪ How can I fight a love

♪ And it's so deep

♪ So dee-eep

♪ Deep inside of me

♪ My love's reachin' so high How's it goin', Cave?

Howyeh, Jimmy?

Long time no see. Long time no hear.

♪ I can't get around it, no

♪ Nowhere to run

♪ Nowhere to hide

♪ From you, baby

♪ Just can't get away From you, baby Jesus, it's brilliant!

Just leave it in the state you found it.

How long's your boss away for?

Only two months.

Unless he gets time off for good behavior.

♪ Nowhere to run to, baby

♪ Nowhere to hide

♪ Got nowhere to run to, baby

♪ Nowhere to hide

Look at this place!

The ceiling's beautiful!

Jesus!

Pigeons and everything! Great!

Lovely spot!

I haven't got any bleedin' cigarettes!

Where'd you get this piano?

It's me granny's.

That was nice of her.

She doesn't know I took it.

But she doesn't use the front room very often.

Ow!

Up! Up!

Lift it!

Two. One, two.

Two! Two!

Two! Two! Two! Two!

Ooh.

Where'd ya get the gear? Don't ask.

Fuckin' Rabbitte!

Are ya ready, Steven? Yeah, ready.

Two, two! One, two!

That's enough!

Okay, Joey, we can't put this thing off for ever.

Let's get busy.

Mustang Sally, brothers and sisters.

And remember. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Dublin was. In an hour!

One, two, three, four!

One, two!

♪ Mustang Sally

♪ Guess you better slow That Mustang down

♪ Mustang Sally now, baby

♪ Guess you better slow That Mustang down

♪ -You been running All over town Oooooh, ooh!

♪ Well, I guess you gotta put Your flat feet on the ground

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ri...

Hold it, hold it.

Hold it!

Now, sisters, that's where you all come in.

Ride around, Sally.

♪ Ride, Sally, ride Sorry. I'm scarlet!

Again.

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ride

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Roid, Sally, roid Look, don't use your own accents.

It's ride, Sally, ride. Not roid, Sally, roid.

♪ Ride, Sally, ride From the top.

♪ Mustang Sally

♪ Guess you better slow That Mustang down

What were you playin'? C, F and G.

You weren't. It's not the chords, anyway.

What are they, then? C, F, C, C.

You'd look better without your glasses.

I'm blind without my glasses.

So was Ray Charles.

Your drumming's coming along, Billy. Have ya been practicing?

Me dad's dead and me brothers are younger.

So?

So there's no one to tell me to shut the fuck up.

Look at him!

He eats like a pig.

He's such a prick!

Hasn't got the voice of a prick, though.

Joey says it belongs to God.

God should ask for it back.

I suppose Jimmy'll groom him.

Teach him to use a knife and fork.

Are you all choir girls, then?

What if we are?

Well, you've got fair voices, but you're not putting much of that into it.

Good Jesus!

All mouth and bollix!

I bet he's never done the business.

I bet he does it every night.

Get me share.

That's why you don't play guitar.

You've lost the muscles in your right hand!

Are ya doin' what I told you?

Are you thinkin' of that reed as a woman's nipple?

I am, yeah.

Do you mind me askin' who she is?

She lives across the street from me.

But I feel embarrassed. She's still at school.

Maybe you should set your sights a little higher.

My trumpet was always Gina Lollobrigida.

I've never heard of her.

A fine woman!

I could try, uh... Kim Basinger.

Is she...

Ohh! Yeah!

Good.

Pick a nipple and try it again.

♪ One of these early mornings

♪ Oh, I'm gonna be Wipin' your weepin' eyes

♪ Yeah

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ride

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ride

♪ All you wanna do is Ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ride

♪ One of these early mornings

♪ I'm gonna be wipin' Your weepin' eyes

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh, sweet ba-a-abe!

Okay, everyone. We're gettin' there no question.

Let's call it a night.

That was a load o' shite.

It was woeful, but that boy can sing.

And it was a start. I believe in starts.

Once you have the start, the rest is inevitable.

All right, folks, we've done good work tonight.

Will you all form a circle, please?

You too, Jimmy.

Come on, come on. Just form a circle.

Now, everybody turn right.

Now let's pat ourselves on the back for a job well done!

Mr. Rabbitte, you've been collecting unemployment benefit for two years.

Are you telling me you can't get a job?

We're a Third World country. What can ya do?

Jimmy! How are ya?

Dean! Didn't know you were on the dole.

Three months now. How about yourself?

Lost count, you know how it is.

See you at Joey's. Tuesday, is it?

Yeah, Tuesday.

See ya there.

Jimmy! It feels much better bein' an unemployed musician than an unemployed pipe fitter!

Check that horn.

You?

Joey The Lips.

This is an all-star album. Very rare.

I'll get a pen, and then I can autograph it for yous.

He's full of it.

Look, that's Joey there, next to Otis Redding.

That could be anybody. All ya can see is the trumpet.

Look at this, then. "Trumpet, J Fagan."

Ah, it's a very common name.

Not in Detroit.

He's played with all the greats, then? Your Joey?

Oh, yes, indeed. He was in America for years!

But I'll tell you something that nobody knows about my Joey.

Wherever he went, or wherever he played, he always sent me a postcard.

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ They say it's a man's world

♪ Oh, but you can't Prove that by me Excuse me. Is this Bluebell Way?

No, this is Marigold. Bluebell's over there an' to the left.

♪ Show some respect for me

Hey!

What?

You're not takin' that into the lift?

I have to. The stairs would kill him.

Hello, Mrs. McLaughlin. Is Bernie in?

She is. Come on in, will ya? Close that door.

How are ya, Bernie?

How are ya, Jimmy?

If Jimmy wants tea, you've to make it yourself.

I'm knackered.

Oh, I'm not bothered, thanks.

Move that washing if ya want to sit down.

Bernie, you've been missin' rehearsals.

You can see why! Me ma can't work, she's about to drop another one.

Me dad's in the fuckin' hospital.

I'm the only one bringin' any money in.

It's tough, I know, but...

What?

It's hard when only two backup singers show up.

You're not dumpin' me. I brought in the other two.

Or is that why ya fuckin' asked me?

You've got the best voice o' the three of yous!

Bollix! You just wanted to get your paws on Imelda Quirke.

Watch the fuckin'...! Ya fuckin' bollix, ya!

Go and fuckin' play!

Look at the bloody mess ya made!

Look, Jimmy, I'll catch up. I need this band more than any of us.

I need somethin' to look forward to.

A lot o' work.

If you didn't do it for God, who would you do it for?

Steven!

Hi, Jimmy. Father Molloy will be here soon.

Great sound, wha'? Yeah.

I wish my granny had one of these we could borrow.

Great intro, uh?

They nicked it from Marvin Gaye.

He nicked it from Bach!

Ah, it's beautiful.

♪ We skipped The light fantastic

♪ Skipped the light fandango!

♪ Turned cartwheels Across the floor

♪ I was feeling kinda seasick

Poxiest bleedin' lyrics ever written.

"One of 16 vestal virgins leaving for the coast." What's that mean?

I never understood that, either.

It's a very peculiar lyric.

Howayeh, Father? Did you talk to the committee?

I have, and they've agreed in principle.

It would have to be the 28th because Danny, our bingo caller, is going into hospital to have a tap put in his kidneys.

28th. No problem.

I'm sure you'll blow their minds, Jimmy!

Look here, girls. Take this advice.

And remember, always in life...

♪ Into each heart

♪ Some tears must fall

♪ Though you love and lose

♪ You must stand tall

♪ Cos we've all Got to cry sometimes

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ I said sigh sometimes

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ -Pull yourself together Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ No use crying forever

♪ Because there's

♪ Too many fish in the sea

♪ Too many fish in the sea

♪ I said there's short ones

♪ Tall ones You're supposed to come in.

All right, we'll take a break. You're gettin' there, girls.

It's not just how you sing, it's how you move your sex machines.

My ma would crease me if she thought I was a sex machine!

Greg wouldn't complain, would he!

Piss off, you!

Whose turn is it to get the hamburgers?

Sweet child, it'll be my pleasure.

I'll come with ya, Joey.

If they're singin', what am I to do?

Why don't you play with yourself?

Sing along. You've bigger tits than all o' them.

Fuck you!


Oh, Jesus!

Here.

What are you starin' at?

Nothin', Joey.

You fairly ruffled my savoir-faire there, Dean, my man.

I thought you were goin' for the burgers.

I am gone, Dean.

♪ You're gonna want My love someday

♪ Well-a bye, bye, baby You've organized a gig? Yeah.

Where? Community center.

The community center? That's a desperate place!

Full of old-age pensioners learnin' ballroom dancin'!

It's a room with a stage.

How much will it cost?

Nothin'. We told Father Molloy it's part of his anti-heroin campaign.

I can get my little brother to do a poster.

The 28th is no time away.

We've two songs. All we need is another ten.

Ten?

You'll never believe what I just seen!

Joey and Natalie gettin' it off on the stairs!

I'm tellin' the truth!

You're talking through your hole.

Knob off! What if she was?

It's Natalie's business!

Tongues, was it?

Yeah! He's got terrible breath!

Lads, it's a free country.

But he's old and he's ugly.

You're young and you're uglier.

You'd get off with Joan Collins quick enough, and she's 50!

And you'd do it with Tina Turner, and she's a granny!

I wouldn't. You would so.

Is Tina Turner a granny?

Joey's not married, so fair fucks to him.

Yous are all so fuckin' stupid!

Can't you see that Natalie'd get off with him?

Then she's a slut.

Fuck you, ya fat fucker!

Me knee! Ohh, Jesus!

Okay. Let's have a look at it.

Hey, that's really good! But there's only one E in heroin.

Wha'?

There's no E at the end of heroin.

You little bollix! There's only one E in heroin!

No, there isn't. Yes, there is!

The syringe is good, though.

No one round here can spell.

Today, St Bridget's Community Center.

Tomorrow... oblivion.

Where's Oblivion?

Jimmy! Jimmy! Mickah Wallace wants to see ya. He's in the pub.

Mickah Wallace?

I hired him to do the door. Security.

You're mad, Jimmy! He's a savage!

I know he is. But he's our savage.

He'll fuck off with the money!

Shh! Dean!

Sorry, Father.

One! Two!

One! Two! Testin'!

One! Two! Testin'!

One! Two! Testin'!

One! Two! Testin'!

That's a good strong mic that. Quality's very rare these days.

Are ya sure now?

Two pounds to come in. Half-price to the unwaged.

Got it.

Ben Nevis on the stand side!

Come on, Ben Nevis! Lester's out the saddle!

Shit! He's just fallen and croaked. And now I want to sing for yous.

♪ Tell me why I don't like Mondays!

♪ Tell me why I don't like Mondays!

I've a bugle here you can blow on.

I've an arse here you can kiss!

Where's me knob?

I know I tucked it into me sock before I came out!

I can't get this hair to stay down.

We'll have to get some superglue.

These suits are a waste o' money.

He's upset cos it hides his tattoos.

All Motown brothers wore suits.

Neat. Dignified.

You'll play better in your suit.

Yeah, Joey. But I can't lift me sax in this jacket.

Swap it with Outspan, then.

Do ya mind? No.

Fuckin' monkey suit. I haven't worn one since your brother's weddin'.

I puked on mine. Remember?

Remember? Some of it got on me.

Are ya decent? We're comin' out!

I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize meself!

I hope I don't need a piss in this dress.

I'd never get it back on again!

There'd be plenty of volunteers to help!

Will they be eatin' chips out of our knickers?

I wouldn't say no!

It's £2.

Howyeh doin', Mrs. Foster? Outspan's up on the stage.

Any messin' and I'll kill ya, right?

What's wrong?

He's bein' sick!

Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous. Come on. It'll be all right.

Sweet Jesus! She promised me she wouldn't come!

Who? Me ma!

I'm not goin' on.

Go and find Mickah. He'll get him on.

My ma would beat the shite out o' Mickah Wallace any day!

Shh! Shut the fuck up!

Ladies and gentlemen.

Put your working-class hands together for the saviors of soul, the hardest-working band in the world! Yes! Yes, yes!

The Commitments!

Wrong rope, Brother Rabbitte.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Commitments!

Get the fuck off!

Hurry up!

Who said that?

Brother Billy.

Wha'? When you're ready.

Oh, shit! Yeah.

If I catch you messin', you're out!

♪ They call me Mr. Pitiful

♪ Baby, that's my name

♪ They call me Mr. Pitiful

♪ That's how I got my fame

♪ But nobody seems To understand now

♪ What makes a man Feel so blue

♪ Ohh, they call me Mr. Pitiful

♪ Cos I lost someone Just like you

♪ They call me Mr. Pitiful

♪ Most everybody knows now

♪ They call me Mr. Pitiful

♪ Most every place I go now

♪ But nobody seems To understand now

♪ What makes a man Sing such a sad song

♪ Ohh, when he lost everything

♪ When he lost everything Hello, Dublin!

I hope yous like me group!

Fuck off! Ya prick!

♪ How can I explain to you

♪ Oh, nothin' to do

♪ Mr. Pitiful!

Afterwards, you'll apologize to the girls!

We're not your bleedin' group!

Come on, get it back! Get it back!

Fuckin' bastard!

♪ Cos nobody seems To understand now

♪ What makes a man Sing such a sad song

♪ Oh, when he lost everythin'

♪ When he lost everythin'

♪ Well

♪ Your love was

♪ Sweeter than

♪ Any I know

♪ So-oh-oh

♪ Don't come back

♪ Runnin' or

♪ Knockin' on my front door

♪ Well, you said that I

♪ Was your only girl

♪ Do-do

♪ There ain't no other

♪ Do-do, do-do

♪ In the whole wide world

♪ Do-do, do-do

♪ You know you took my love

♪ Threw it away

♪ You're gonna Want my love someday

♪ Well-a bye bye, baby Who did that?

♪ Bye bye, bye bye

♪ Goodbye, goodbye, baby

♪ Bye bye

♪ Bye bye bye, baby

♪ Bye bye, baby

♪ Goodbye, goodbye

♪ Bye bye, baby

♪ Bye bye, bye bye

♪ Bye bye

♪ Well, goodbye now

Mam says to give us some money.

For what?

Crisps and Cokes.

Are ya stayin' over there?

Yeah. They're great.

You're jokin'!

No! They're really good!

Are ya serious?

Ow! Jesus Christ, Tommy! Me fuckin' head!

Here. How much do ya want?

A pound.

For crisps and Coke?

Go on.

♪ Aaahh, show me a man That's got a good woman

♪ Show me

♪ Show me a man out there Who's got a good woman

♪ Show me

♪ Show me a man That's got a good woman!

♪ Show me a man That's got a good woman!

♪ Show me a man That's got a good woman!

♪ Show me a man That's got a good woman!

♪ Show me a man That's got a good woman!

♪ I'll show you a man that Goes to work hummin'

♪ You know he's got some Sweet lovin' comin'

♪ At the end of his workin' day

♪ Yeah

♪ Show me a woman That's got a good man

♪ Show me

♪ I wanna see a woman out there Claims she's got a good man

♪ Show me

♪ Show me a woman That's got a good man

♪ Show me a woman That's got a good man

♪ Show me a woman That's got a good man

Don't touch him!

Get an ambulance, quick!

Fuckin' idiot!

We want more! We want more!

If Derek dies, we'll be famous.

What are you on about?

It's a sure way to get famous. Die on a stage. Get shot in a motel.

We'd sell millions of records.

I don't understand what happened.

You have to keep the juice from the amps and the mics separate.

Derek was the earth there for a minute.

Isn't that how the guy from AC/DC died?

No. He choked on his own vomit.

So did your man from Free, didn't he?

Yeah. Lots o' them.

Keith Moon.

Jimi Hendrix.

Brian Jones.

No, he drowned.

Did he? Yeah.

Mama Cass? That was vomit.

Vomit. Vomit.

Not a heart attack? No.

Maybe we could get Deco to choke on his own vomit!

Lads, it's alive!

Derek! How ya doin'!

They don't get many electrocutions on Saturday night.

It's mostly bottles in the face and bruised balls.

They said it was a mild shock. Didn't feel mild to me.

Made me hair stand on end.

Your hair always stands on end.

Not fuckin' all of it!

See ya, Derek.

See ya.

Bye now.

Rehearsal's tomorrow night, all right?

Okay!

We need a year's rehearsal. We're all over the place.

It was raw, sure.

But there was moments where you were cookin'.

It was only kids and relatives.

I don't believe you two.

What are ya sayin'? One gig and we pack it in?

Why d'yous want to be in a band? Is it the money?

What money? So it's the chicks.

No.

Why, then?

It's hard to say.

You want to be different.

You want to stand out from the rest o' the tossers You want to get up and shout.

"I'm Outspan fuckin' Foster, and "I'm Derek fuckin' Scully and I'm not a tosser!" Isn't that it?

That's it, Jimmy.

Well, don't forget it!

Unless you want to spend the rest o' your life wrappin' frozen fuckin' chickens!

Jimmy, did ya ever have any doubts that things wouldn't turn out as you planned?

Well, I'd be tellin' fibs if I didn't, Terry.

And there was that old rock'n'roll demon, S-E-X.

Sex, Jimmy?

Sex, Terry.

Sex?

Fuck off! I'm being interviewed!

♪ Guide of the wanderer


Come on, baby.

Don't get hung up on anythang.

Our signs have brought us here together, woman.

You know...

I wanna be your everything.

Come on, baby!

Come see what I've got for you!

I wanna be... your lover-man.

Will ya stop talkin' shite, Joey?

♪ Who's the black private dick

♪ Shaft!

Can I have your autographs?

Get lost, Tommy Boyle!

I liked the light show at the end.

Shag off!

The kids around here will be thinkin' of us when they play with their willies!

That's disgusting.

Your Greg wasn't too happy.

He'd driving me mad.

I'd tell him to fuck off, only me ma'd crease me.

Dean's nice, wha'? I suppose so.

He's serious. I like that.

Got a nice little arse on him!

Jimmy's nice. He's great.

Always got a nice smell on him.

Do ya think he's a bit...

Jesus, no!

He never seems to fancy any of us.

I'd have thought you'd find that a relief.

When are yous playing next?

That's up to our manager.

I feel like Madonna!


Ah, Jesus! Get him off the fuckin' drums!

Shut up, Deco!

Get the fuckin' hell out!

Doesn't take long to get the hang of it, does it?

It takes control and skill, so you're fucked for starters.

Fuckin' pig!

Do ya know Wilson Pickett, Joey?

I jammed with the man. Many moons ago.

We'll be all right for backstage passes, then. Look.

"Pickett adds Ireland to European slate."

Who's Wilson Pickett?

You'll wait longer than that to get near me, ya fuckin' gobshite!

Can I have a word, Jimmy?

Sure. What is it?

This gig on the 15th. I won't be here.

What?

I'll be on me holidays with Greg and the family.

We've got a caravan in the Isle of Man.

A caravan?

I know. It's not very soul, is it?

It bleedin' isn't!

It was arranged months ago.

Months ago we didn't have this band!

We're just gettin' goin' and you're pissin' off to some tossin' campin' site!

You're makin' me feel worse than I already do!

I can't believe you, Imelda!

Ah, for Jesus' sake, Jimmy! What can I do?

Will yous all get on!

It's not as if ya don't need the practice!

♪ Hey there, here I am I'm a man on the scene

♪ I can give you what you want

♪ But you got to Come back with me

♪ I forgot some good old lovin'

♪ I got some in store At least the little bollix is in key.

♪ Boys were comin' Down by the dozen Jesus, that's amazing! You were actually in Graceland.

So, anyway, there's the four o' yous sittin' in the front room o' the mansion.

Vernon wasn't drinkin' lemonade, if ya know what I'm sayin'.

Who's Vernon?

Elvis's da! Vernon Presley!

Go on, Joey.

He picked up Gina. Gina's me trumpet.

And he puked right into her.

He didn't!

Right into her.

Good Jesus!

I went upstairs...

I said "Yo! Elvis, me man.

Look what your daddy's after doin' to my trumpet."

"Who's goin' to pay to get her cleaned?"

Hang on.

Get out!

I said get out!

What did Elvis say, Joey?

Listen to this. This bit's brilliant.

The man said nothin', at first.

He took Gina, very gently, and he brought her into the bathroom and he run her under the tap.

Then he took out his handkerchief and he gave her a good wipe.

And he handed her back to me and he said... he said...

"Joey The Lips, "please forgive my daddy."

Jesus!

Tell me something, Joey.

In all the time that you were in Graceland, did you ever...

Did ya ever see Elvis messin' around with drugs?

No, brother.

I knew it! I always said...

And you, ya malignant little bastard! I knew it!

My God Almighty!

♪ Only the lonely

Lorraine, I can't get your head in. Everybody bunch up.

Come on, Imelda, give us a smile! Cheese!

Cheese!

Get on with the photograph!

What are ya takin' pictures for? We're still in Dublin!

Cheese, everybody!

Cheese!

Here, let's get in out o' the cold.

I'm not goin'.

Wha'?

I can't!

What are ya talkin' about?

It's that bloody group. You're goin' with them, aren't ya?

I have to!

What you have to do is go on holiday with your folks and me.

I'll follow yous tomorrow or Monday.

You'll never find us!

Ah, Ma, you'll be in the same field as last year!

This stuff's so heavy!

Would ya give me a hand, Outspan?

Mickah! Would you get your man off the piano here?

Would ya get out o' the way there?

Hey! Ya never told me it was the whole bleedin' Philharmonic we were bookin'.

They're takin' up half the shaggin' pub!

I normally put 20 people in that corner.

Twenty leprechauns, maybe.

Imelda!

What happened to your holiday?

Imelda!

What happened?

I couldn't go.

Jesus, me hair's a state!

Ya look great!

There's no time to get me dress.

I'll buy you a bloody dress!

Oh, will ya?

She can pay me later!

Is he porkin' her now?

He must be dippin' his dick in steroids!

♪ I don't know why I love you like I do

♪ After all these changes That you put me through

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, yeah

♪ Used all my money And my cigarettes

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, yeah

♪ And I haven't seen hide Nor hair of you yet

♪ I'd love to stay

♪ Take me

♪ Take me to the river

♪ And wash me down

♪ Wash me down

♪ Oo-oo-ooh, my sou-ou-oul

♪ Get my feet on the ground

♪ On the ground, yeah

♪ Hey, yeah

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah

♪ -Dip me in the water Dip me

♪ Take me, take me to the river

♪ Dip me in the water, baby

♪ Dip me

♪ Take me, take me to the river

♪ -Dip me in the water Dip me

♪ Take me, take me to the river

♪ -Dip me in the water Dip me

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Dip me

♪ Take me, take me to the river

♪ I said dip me One more time, baby

♪ You gotta dip me Take me, take me to the river, yeah

♪ Dip me in the water, yeah

Fuckin' idiot!

Sorry, Joey. I got a bit carried away.

And you, George Michael! Call me a fuckin' idiot again and you'll get a drumstick up your hole!

The one you don't sing out of!

That'll be the day!

It's comin', so keep your Vaseline handy.

Keep cool, brothers. We are the saviors of Soul, remember?

Come on, let's go!

Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

What I'd like to do for my fans now is a nice slow song.

Fans?

It goes a little bit like this.

Fucker.

♪ At the dark end of the street

♪ That is where we always meet

♪ Hidin' in shadows Where we don't belong

♪ Livin' in darkness to Hide our wrong

♪ You and me

♪ At the dark end of the street

♪ You and me

♪ I know time Is gonna take its toll

♪ We have to pay For the love we stole

♪ It's a sin and we know It's wrong

♪ Ohh, but our love Keeps comin' on strong

♪ Steal away

♪ To the dark end Of the street

♪ You and me

♪ They're gonna find us

♪ They're gonna find us

♪ They're gonna find us Love, someday

♪ You and me

♪ At the dark end of the street

♪ You and me

♪ And when the daylight hour Rolls around

♪ And by chance we'll both Go downtown

♪ If we should meet, Just walk, walk on by, yeah!

♪ Ohh, darlin' Please don't you cry

♪ Tonight we'll meet

♪ Oh

♪ At the dark end


It sounds good now. Good brass section.

Fuck off, piss brain!

Are we in with a chance now you're single, Imelda?

Derek's pantin' to make his move!

Shut up, ya gobshite!

Derek, I thought it was me ya fancied.

You were havin' it off with Dean!

Must've been when I wasn't lookin'!

We're all bustin' to ride Imelda.

I've no designs on Imelda.

No, cos you're skewerin' Bernie, and she's only half your age.

Is he doin' it to Bernie?

Sex, sex, sex! It fucks up everythin'!

You told us soul was sex.

Look, let's keep relations on a professional basis.

Professional? We've never been paid!

I'm workin' on it! I'm fuckin' workin' on it!

Why don't you learn to keep your big mouth shut?

No fuckin' pay! Fuckin' crazy!

♪ At the dark end of the street

♪ You and me Are you all right?

Sure. They just get up me arse at times.

Want to share a taxi home?

For fuck sake! How can ya ask me that!

If ya weren't the manager, would ya?

Would I what? Take me home.

But I am the manager.

♪ You and me

♪ At the dark end of the street

Do ya not think it better to have the Customs House in the background?

I'm not after a bleedin' postcard! I'm after urban decay.

Should have gone to my place.

Where's Billy? We're freezin' our tits off here.

Are your nipples all hard?

You make me want to vomit!

Will this be in the papers? Could be.

What's this? Bingo callers' convention?

Get him, Mickah!

You're not even changed, Billy.

There's no point. I'm leavin' the band.

It's Deco. I hate him!

He's not worth hatin'.

He's just a big fat boy with bollix for brains.

It's no use, Jimmy.

I'm goin' to have to hit him. And I'm on probation!

Probation? What for?

For hittin' a prick just like him.

Where will I get a drummer as good as you?

Ah, you'll find someone.

Ah, thanks a lot!

You can have the loan of me kit until you do.

Anyone can play the drums, Billy. So fuck off!

Ah, Jimmy...

And we'll get our own tour bus with "The Commitments" painted on the side.

And "Billy Mooney's a fuckin' Bollix" on the back!

Mind me van, ya fucker!

Okay, everyone, a big serious face now That's it. Great. Okay.

Big cheesy smile! Everyone say "testicles."

Testicles!

Fair enough. Great stuff.


Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

It's been a month since my last confession.

I've been with this band, and there's been a lot of cursing and blasphemy.

And I've been neglecting my exams.

And there's these three girls with the band.

I've had lustful thoughts.

About all of them.

And when I studied I used to sing hymns.

Now I'm always humming

"When a Man Loves a Woman" by Marvin Gaye.

Percy Sledge.

Wha'?

It was Percy Sledge did that particular song.

I have the album.

Oh.

Saw the posters. The band's playin' a few gigs?

A few, yeah.

So why haven't I been paid?

That was the deal.

I get you gear, and you give me money.

I'll pay. It's just I've got a few problems. Outgoings...

Yeah. Tell me about it.

And I'm breakin' in a new drummer.

I think I'm gettin' the hang o' this!

Yes!

Here ya are.

About bleedin' time!

Jimmy, do we have to do this?

We've no choice, Bernie.

What did ya get a gig so far away for?

Cos they're payin' us money, that's why.

But I could go to jail! Or lose me job!

We are bringin' soul to the people, my angel.

No jury in the land would convict us.

Are we goin' in or wha'?

If we're caught here, we're fucked.

It's all right! Don't be worryin'.

What's that? A Mister Chippy van?

We can't travel in that shit heap.

Buddy Holly's last words.

"We can't travel in that shit heap."

Did Buddy Holly say that?

Before he flew to meet his destiny on that storm-tossed night.

Will crashin' in a chipper van make us famous?

♪ Said to the man At the railroad station

♪ I want a ticket

♪ Just for one

♪ He said, well, if you insist

♪ Oh-oh

♪ Destination anywhere

♪ East or west, I don't care I have to fart.

What?

I have to fart!

Open a fuckin' window!

Would ya have any rock salmon, please?

Sorry, mister! We only have soul!

♪ Said to the man At the railroad station

♪ I want a ticket

♪ Baby, here I am

♪ I'm a man on the scene

♪ I can give you What you want

♪ But you gotta Come back with me

♪ I forgot some Good old lovin'

♪ I got some in store

♪ When it comes To takin' it all

♪ You gotta come back for more

♪ Boys were comin' Down by the dozen

♪ That ain't nothin' But drugstore lovin'

♪ Pretty little thing Let me light your candle

♪ Cos, mama I'm sure hard to handle now

♪ Yes, I am

♪ Action speaks Louder than words

♪ And I'm a man With a great experience

♪ I know you got you Another man

♪ But I can love you Better than him

♪ Take my hand Don't be afraid

♪ I'm gonna prove Every word I said

♪ I'm advertisin' love for free

♪ Uh-uh

♪ Boys were comin' Down by the dozen

♪ That ain't nothin' But drugstore lovin'

♪ Pretty little thing, Let me light your candle

♪ Cos, mama I'm sure hard to handle now

I went through hell learnin' the sax.

Now I wanna get better. I wanna express meself.

That's commendable, Brother Dean.

But what you were playin' was not soul.

Soul solos are part of the song. They have corners.

You were spiralling. That's jazz.

I'm just tryin' to stretch meself.

Jazz is musical wankin'.

If you want a wank, use that thing in your hand, not your sax!

Jimmy! Jimmy!

Over here!

There's your money, son. They're drinkin' like fishes.

That's 200 quid.

200 quid?

Big time, wha'? 200 quid!

Jimmy, this is Roddy Craig. He's with The Herald.

You got my message, then?

How are yeh?

Glad you could make it.

So how did this band come about?

Jimmy put an ad...

Destiny! We're a band with a mission.

What kind of mission?

Bringin' soul to Dublin. Bringin' the music to the proletariat.

We're against racial and sexual discrimination, apartheid, and heroin.

When's your next gig? We haven't...

We're the guerrillas of soul. We don't announce gigs.

We hit, then we sink back into the night.

That's guerrilla with a U, not an O.

Oh, yeah.

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Chain of fools

♪ For five long years

♪ I thought you were my man

♪ But I found out

♪ I'm just a link in your chain

♪ You got me where you want me

♪ I ain't nothin' but your fool

♪ You treated me mean

♪ You treated me cruel

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain of fools

♪ Every chain

♪ Has got a weak link

♪ I might be weak, child

♪ But I gave you strength

♪ Ooh! Ooh!

♪ Now you tell me To leave you alone

♪ My papa says come on home

♪ My doctor says take it easy

♪ But your lovin' Is much too strong

♪ I'm wedded to your

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

That's our money, pal!

Don't stop! Keep it goin'!

♪ Chain...

♪ Chain-chain-chain

♪ Chain...

♪ Chain, chain

♪ Chain-ain-ain-ain-ain Are ya okay?

You're fuckin' dead, Rabbitte!

Still got the money, though.

I'll be fuckin' back for you an' your fuckin' monkeys, ya bastard!

♪ Chain, chain, chain

I'd like to introduce you to the hardest-workin' band in the world!

On bass, Derek "Meatman" Scully!

On piano, Steven "Soul Surgeon" Clifford!

Dean "Mr. Nipple" Fay on sax!

Joey "The Lips" Fagan on trumpet!

Our gorgeous chanteuses are Bernie, Imelda, and Natalie!

Deco "Deep Throat" Cuffe on vocals!

On lead guitar, Outspan "Fender Bender" Foster!

Finally, on drums, Mickah "Don't Fuck With Me" Wallace!

Ladies and gentlemen, The Commitments!

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ Chain, chain, chain

♪ I got dreams, dreams

♪ To remember

I've been waitin' bleedin' ages! Where the fuck were you?

I don't suppose they'll let me park here.

Fuck them. Listen to this.

"Following the footsteps of U2 and Sinead O'Connor, "The Commitments could be the next major act to come out of Dublin.

"The lead singer has a voice Bob Geldof would starve for."

U2, Sinead, Geldof, and us in one paragraph. Deadly, wha'?

We'll show this to me mammy.

We'll show it to Wilson Pickett.

I'd better handle this thing alone.

Why? I want to meet the man.

It's personal.

You told me him and you were friends and he'd do us a favor.

I know, but the last time I met Wilson things were a bit sticky.

It's personal.

Hold on to that. Keep an eye on the bike.

Roddy!

Ah, how are ya, Jimmy?

Your office said you were here. What happened?

Two idiots tried to hold up the bank with pump guns.

What's this? The getaway cart?

No, the poor horse caught it in the crossfire.

I thought you only covered music.

Music, crime, funerals...

Are ya goin' to the Wilson Pickett show?

Bleedin' right I am.

Look, I owe you for the review. Fuckin' rapid!

Come to Gallagher's afterwards where we're playin'.

Oh, yeah. Right.

And Pickett's gonna jam with us!

He is in his bollix!

World exclusive, Roddy!

He thinks he's Basil Brush.

Just fuckin' relax, would ya?

Fuckin' idiot!

This place is infested with rats!

You do look like a rat! Ratso Foster!

Oh, supercool!

Where's your white walkin' stick? Fuck off!

Bring the guide dog, yeah? Lovely hair!

At least I have some fuckin' hair!

Steven? Yeah?

Could I talk to ya? About what?

Well, you're educated, and... I've had this offer, see?

It's from another band. We reckon it could be a good move.

"We"? You have advisors, is it?

Well, me ma, like.

What's this?

Apprently, Mr. Cuffe has an offer he can't refuse.

Offer of wha'?

From another band with a record deal.

You wha'?

You're already in a band!

I've my career to think of!

I have to do it! Wha'?

Break his face! No, no, no!

Stop lookin' at me knickers, you!

I'm fuckin' warnin' ya! You're dead, man!

What's that? What's what?

That. It's only a haircut.

That's a jazz haircut. And why aren't ya dressed?

I'm gonna wear me new suit!

And why aren't yous changed?

Nobody wants to wear fuckin' monkey suits, Jimmy.

We look fuckin' stupid.

Who wants to look like The Four Tops?

More like fuckin' undertakers!

Look at this!

What the fuck...

What are yous all lookin' at? He only gave me a ride!

I'm sure he did!

He shagged the lot o' them.

How are ya, 'Melda?

Jimmy, can I talk to ya?

Shut up, the lot o' yous! And you, Deco!

Someone comin' in tonight could make a big difference to us.

Bono? Gorbachev?

Batman? The Pope?

Even better. Wilson Pickett.

Fuck off! No, he isn't!

Isn't that right, Joey?

He promised me he's gonna jam with us.

Me hole, he is!

You can wear jockstraps for all I care!

Just behave like ya know what you're doin'.

Wilson Pickett and Deco Cuffe, together at last!

Ow! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Three Hail Marys for you tomorrow!

Stop it! Stop it!

Keep out o' this! Fuck off!

♪ Mustang Sally

♪ Guess you better slow That Mustang down

♪ Mustang Sally now, baby

♪ Guess you better slow That Mustang down

♪ You been runnin' All over town

♪ Oo-oo-ooh

♪ Ooh, I guess you gotta put Your flat feet on the ground

Sing it to me one more time, girls!

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ride

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ride

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ride

♪ All you wanna do Is ride around, Sally

♪ Ride, Sally, ride

♪ One of these early mornings

♪ I'm gonna be wipin' Those weepin' eyes

♪ Yea-eah All right!

♪ I bought you A brand-new Mustang

♪ Uh-huh

♪ It was a 1965

♪ Now you come around Signifying a woman

♪ Girl, you won't... You won't let me ride!

♪ Mustang Sally now, baby

Tell me, Jimmy.

When would ya think was the big turning point for The Commitments?

Good question, Terry.

It has to be when Wilson Pickett played with us in a small club in Dublin.

That must have been quite a thrill, Jimmy.

It will be if the fucker turns up, Terry.

♪ Baby, they don't know

♪ That I'd leave you If I could

♪ I guess I'm all tied

♪ And I'm stuck like glue

♪ -Cos I ain't never Never

♪ -I ain't never Never

♪ -I ain't never Never

♪ No, no!

♪ Loved a man the way that I

♪ I love you

♪ Some time ago I thought

♪ Oo-ooh Rum an' black, please.

♪ Oo-ooh

♪ I was so wrong

♪ Because you've got one You'll never lose

♪ The way you treat me Is a shame

♪ Baby, don't you know

♪ Kiss me once again

♪ Don't you never, never Say that we're through

♪ Cos I ain't never

♪ Never

♪ I ain't never

♪ Never

♪ I ain't never

♪ No, no!

♪ Loved a man

♪ The way that I

♪ I love you

♪ Oh, I can't sleep at night

♪ I can't eat a bite

♪ Guess I'll never be free

♪ Since you got

♪ Your hook

♪ In me

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Yeah!

♪ Yeah!

♪ I ain't never loved a man Baby Jimmy! Dougie Best, Music Weekly.

Thanks a lot for showin' up.

Is Pickett still comin'?

Absolutely. No question.

You told me I was goin' to be the only press.

See a fella from The Times there.

Dublin's a small town. Word gets out. You know what I'm sayin'?

♪ Never

♪ Never

Yeah.

Mm. Yeah.

How was it?

Yeah. All right.

Okay. See ya.

♪ Oh, she may be weary

♪ And young girls They do get weary

♪ Wearin' that same old Shaggy dress

♪ But when she gets weary

♪ Try

♪ A little tenderness

♪ Fandango

♪ You know she's waitin'

♪ Just anticipatin'

♪ The things

♪ That she never, never

♪ Never, never possesses

♪ Yeah

♪ But while she's there waitin'

♪ Without them

♪ Try a little tenderness

♪ That's all you gotta do

♪ This is for you

♪ It's not

♪ Just sentimental

♪ She has her grief And her cares

♪ Ye-eah, yeah

♪ But the soft words

♪ They are spoke so gentle

♪ It makes it easier

♪ Easier to bear

♪ Yeah

♪ You won't regret it, no, no

♪ Young girls they never forget it

♪ Love is their only

♪ Happiness

♪ But it's all so easy

♪ All you gotta do

♪ Is try a little tenderness

♪ Oh, yeah, baby

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Squeeze her

♪ Don't you tease her

♪ Never leave her

♪ You got to

♪ You got to

♪ Try a little tenderness, yeah

How are ya, Jimmy? This is Eamon, me photographer.

Jesus! Some rain, wha'? Is Wilson here yet?

No. What time did the show finish?

Ah, it's over an hour already.

He'll be doin' all that backstage bullshit.

I thought he was supposed to be here.

♪ Never leave her

♪ You got to

♪ You got

♪ Ye-ah, yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Ye-ah, yeah!

♪ You got to

♪ Squeeze her

♪ Don't you tease her

♪ Never leave her

♪ You got to

♪ Got to, got to, got to Got to, got to, got to

♪ Try a little tenderness

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Whoa!

♪ You got to You got to squeeze her

♪ Don't you tease her, man

♪ Got to, got to, got to Got to, got to, got to

♪ Try a little tenderness

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh, baby

♪ Oh! Oh!

♪ You've got to squeeze her

♪ Never leave her

♪ You got to

♪ Got to, got to Got to, got to

♪ Got to, got to

♪ Try a little tenderness!

♪ Oh, yeah!


You don't need a new amp, Outspan!

Jimmy! Is Wilson back there?

Not yet.

Where the fuck is he, then?

Wilson Pickett! Load o' bollix!

It's not, Jimmy, is it? He will come, won't he?

Wilson Pickett finished an hour ago.

I spoke to the man. I did me best.

That's not what you said.

You said it was no problem. You said it was all fixed.

If you've been bullshittin' me, I'll ram that trumpet up your arse!

I'm sorry you doubt me, Brother Rabbitte.

We need roadies.

Will ya ever shut up, for fuck sake!

Who the fuck do ya think ya are?

When I come offstage I want a proper towel, not a tea towel.

And a bottle of mineral water.

Don't fuckin' spray that on me!

Thinks he's fuckin' Prince!

And what's that meant to mean?

Are we doin' an encore?

Not till I've had a pee. I'm desperate.

Are we waitin' for the fuckin' mystery man?

Shut up, Charlie shaggin' Parker!

Is he coming? Is Wilson goin' to come?

"Wilson"! You didn't know who Wilson Pickett was a month ago, you stupid cow!

Don't do that!

You're probably goin' with him, too!

They're me fans! They love me! They're my fans, not your fans.

Are ya goin' to do a fuckin' encore or not?

I'm goin' to fuckin' burst you!

Your fuckin' days are numbered! Fat slob!

Go an' fuck yourself!

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah

A double Jameson's, please.

Hello, Dublin!

So yous lot couldn't get tickets to Wilson Pickett tonight, no?

He was supposed to come and see us.

I'm serious. Only our manager fucked up!

We'd like to do a Pickett song now. Hope ya like it.

Hit it!

♪ I'm gonna wait Till the midnight hour

♪ That's when my love Comes tumblin' down

♪ I'm gonna wait Till the midnight hour

♪ When there's No one else around

♪ I'm gonna take you, girl And hold you

♪ And do all the things I told you

♪ In the midnight hour

♪ Midnight hour

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ I'm gonna wait Till the stars come out

♪ And see that Twinkle in your eye

♪ I'm gonna wait Till the midnight hour

♪ Midnight hour

Jimmy Rabbitte? That is a mean band ya got there.

Dave Machin, Idiot Records.

Idiot Records?

Listen, I'm very excited. Can we talk?

Sure!

Go somewhere a bit quieter, yeah?

♪ Midnight hour

Exactly, Jimmy.

Idiot Records is a small label, but we're good because we care.

You know what I mean?

No money upfront, but we'll pay for an engineer and studio time for a day.

Sounds brilliant!

♪ I'm gonna wait Till the midnight hour

♪ Midnight hour

♪ That's when my love Comes tumblin' down

♪ Midnight hour

♪ I'm gonna wait

♪ Wait

♪ Midnight hour

♪ That's when my love Begins to shine

♪ Midnight hour

♪ Just you and I

♪ Wait

♪ Midnight hour

♪ Just you and I

♪ Wait

♪ Midnight hour

♪ Just you and I

♪ Wait

♪ Midnight hour

♪ You and I

♪ Wait

♪ Midnight hour

♪ Just you and I

♪ Yeah


We were good, Steven, weren't we?

Fuckin' deadly!

We kicked arse tonight, lads.

Hey, Joey, what about tha'!

We were brilliant!

Not tossers, wha'?

I was good, wasn't I?

You were good? My chords was good!

Give it to Natalie! She had him first!

I'd piss in his helmet if I was you!

Fuckin' take it!

You're the one that had your fuckin' tongue rammed down his throat!

Can you believe this?

They're fightin' over the little fucker now!

You started this! You and your fuckin' dick!

I am gone. No one's had me!

It's Imelda. She's such a prick teaser.

Don't call me a fuckin' prick teaser!

Give over, all o' ya!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm very excited.

But is there any problems with the band?

They were slaggin' you off a bit.

No, no, no, Dave. You know how it is in rock'n'roll.

Once they get a taste, they become overnight arseholes.

Assholes. You don't have to tell me!

Isn't everybody in rock'n'roll an arsehole!

Except for management, that is.

All right! All right!

Autographs now, is it?

At least I can write me own name!

You're a smart boy, yeah?

Don't start me now. Don't fuckin' start me.

Don't fuckin' start me!

Don't start me! Don't start me! Don't...

Jimmy! Jimmy!

Jimmy, get up here! They're murderin' each other!

Bastard!

Fucker!

What the fuck is goin' on?

The usual.

I turn my back for 30 seconds!

I'm leavin' this fuckin' band!

Me, too!

Not one of yous has ever seen me as anythin' but a bum and a skirt!

Fuck yous. Fuck the lot o' yous.

Arsehole! Fuck off!

Ohh... My God! Jesus Christ!

Are ya all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

Can I have your autograph?

Jimmy! Do ya want a ride?

Piss off!

Look, don't take it personally, Jimmy.

They'll all come crawlin' back.

They can crawl up their holes for all I care!

"O sing unto the Lord a new song, for he's done marvelous things."

Psalm 98.

You lied to me, Joey!

I always bought everythin' you told us! But you lied to me!

I'm sorry you doubt me, Brother Rabbitte.

I know you're hurting now.

In time you'll realize what you've achieved.

I've achieved nothin'!

You're missing the point!

The success of the band was irrelevant!

You raised their expectations of life! You lifted their horizons!

Sure, we could have been famous, but that would have been predictable.

This way it's poetry.

It's a pisser is what it is, Joey.


Hey, man... You know a nightclub called Gallagher's?

Yeah, it's just around the corner, but it's closed now.

Should we go back to the hotel, Mr. Pickett?

Okay.

Fuck!

So how did you feel at the time, Jimmy?

Well, sick, I can tell ya, Terry.

What happened to everybody after you split up?

Well, all sorts of things, Terry.

I still see Derek and Outspan. They're still in the music business.

Mostly in Grafton Street.

I try to help them out whenever I can.

And Bernie?

Last I heard, she was in a Country and Western band.

But you know Bernie.

Nice girl, but she had terrible taste in music.

And, of course, Dean is still playin' tossers' music.

Although, I must admit, he got quite good in the end.

And Billy? What happened to him, Jimmy?

God knows, Terry.

The last I heard, he'd been kicked in the head shoeing a horse.

Best thing that ever happened to him.

Steven became a doctor, of course. But he says he misses the music.

Say...

And Mickah?

He has his own band, believe it or not, Terry.

Quite a success, considering he should be locked up.

Imelda married dopey Greg. There's a kid on the way, apparently.

He won't let her sing anymore. Shame, really. She had a nice voice.

Deco got his recording contract. He's an even bigger prick now.

Oh! Excuse my language, Terry.

How about Natalie, Jimmy?

She became very successful, as you know, Terry.

Is it true about you and her?

Don't believe all you read in the papers, Terry!

But, yes, it's true to say we are fond of one another.

And Joey? What happened to him, Jimmy?

Natalie saw his mum the other day, Terry.

She said she had a postcard from him.

He was playin' with Joe Tex on a North American tour.

Only thing is, Terry, Joe Tex died in 1982.

So, lookin' back, Jimmy, what have you learned from your experience with The Commitments?

Well, that's a tricky question, Terry. But, as I always say, "We skipped the light fandango, turned cartwheels 'cross the floor.

"I was feelin' kinda seasick, but the crowd called out for more."

That's very profound, Jimmy! What does it mean?

I'm fucked if I know, Terry!

♪ All you've gotta do

♪ Is try a little tenderness

♪ Oh, yeah, baby

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Squeeze her

♪ Don't you tease her

♪ Never leave her

♪ You got to

♪ Try a little tenderness

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh, babe

♪ Oh

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ You got to

♪ Squeeze her

♪ Never leave her

♪ You got to

♪ Got to, got to

♪ Got to, got to Got to, got to

♪ Try a little tenderness

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Yeah, ye-ah!

♪ Yeah, my man!

♪ Hey!

♪ Oh, you're lookin' good Baby!

♪ I wanna tell you a story

♪ Every man oughta know

♪ If you want a little lovin'

♪ You gotta start real slow

♪ She's gonna love you Tonight now

♪ She's gonna love you tonight

♪ If you just treat her right

♪ Oh, squeeze her real gentle

♪ Squeeze her real gentle

♪ Gotta make her feel good

♪ Tell her that you love her

♪ Like you know you should now

♪ Like you know you should

♪ And she'll be glad Every night

♪ She'll be glad every night

♪ That you treated her right

♪ -No, no, no That you treated her right

♪ If you practice my method

♪ Just as hard as you can

♪ You're gonna Get a reputation

♪ As a lovin' man now

♪ As a lovin' man

♪ And you'll be glad Every night

♪ You'll be glad every night

♪ That you treated her right

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ All right! Never mind!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey! All right!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, hey!

♪ I wanna tell you a story

♪ Yeah I wanna tell you a story

♪ Every man oughta know

♪ If you want a little lovin'

♪ You gotta start real slow

♪ Yeah, start real slow

♪ She's gonna Love you tonight

♪ I know she's gonna love me

♪ If you just treat her right

♪ -I will Ohh, yeah

♪ Squeeze her real gentle

♪ Real gentle, real gentle

♪ Gotta make her feel good

♪ Make her feel good

♪ Tell her that you love her

♪ She knows I love her

♪ Like you know you should

♪ I know I should

♪ Cos if you don't Treat her right

♪ She won't love you tonight

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey! Hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ All right! Never mind!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ All right!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ All right!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Ye-eah, ye-eah!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Rock it, baby!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ He-ey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, yeah!