The Counselor (2013) Script

Are you awake?

No.

What time is it?

Two o'clock.

Almost two o'clock.

AM or PM?

You're not serious.

Not entirely.

It's afternoon.

I know.

What time is your flight?

7:40 to Amsterdam.

I haven't seen you for two weeks, and you're leaving again this evening?

I know. I'll be gone for just a few days.

God, you're a sexy woman.

What are you doing?

I'm not doing anything.

They're going to take me out of here on a gurney.

Tell me something sexy.

I want you to put your hand up my dress.

But you're not wearing a dress.

What does that have to do with it?

It's something you like for me to say.

I know. But it has to be real, doesn't it?

Why don't you just tell me what it is that you want me to do to you?

I want you to touch me.

You want me to touch you where?

I want you to touch me down there.

You do?

I really do.

Say it more sexy.

I want you to touch me.

Are you wet?

Yes.

You really are. Yes.

God, you're sopping.

I know.

How did you get yourself into such a state?

From thinking about you.

From thinking about me, what?

From thinking about your sweet face between my legs.

Wait, wait, wait.

I think I should go tidy up.

I don't want you to.

Slow, slow, slow.

How do you know how to do that?

From hanging out with really nasty girls.

You've ruined me, you know that?

I hope so.

God, you have the most luscious pussy in all of Christendom.

Did you know that?

Tell me what to do.

You know what to do.

Tell me.

What if I shock you?

Too bad.

I want you to finger-fuck me.

What?

You heard me.

I can't believe you said that Believe it.

You're reached a whole new level of depravity, haven't you?

I thought it didn't mean that much to girls.

Depends on the girl.

I want you to stick your finger up me, and find my spot, and push on it.

Oh, my God!

God, you are luscious.

Oh, my God!


Illegals!

Welcome to the Untied States.


Do you like it because it reminds you of somewhere else?

That's not why I like it.

I like it for itself.

It doesn't have to be like something else.

No.

Do I remind you of someone else?

Yes, you do.

Someone you miss?

Someone who is dead.

I don't think I miss things.

I think to miss something is to hope that it will come back.

But it's not coming back.

I've always known that since I was a girl.

You don't think that's a bit cold?

I think truth has no temperature.

Mmm.

There it goes.


Follow me, please.

Good morning.

I want her to have something that she won't be uncomfortable wearing.

I don't want to give her a diamond so big, she'd be afraid to wear it.

She is probably more courageous than you imagine.

Is this a pillow?

No, it's an Asscher.

Look at the corners.

Let's put it in the grading box.

The pillow has a slight arc to the sides.

It is a modern version of the old-mine cut.

Let's look at the color.

Put it table-side down.

So you're looking through the pavilion?

Yes, there's more to look through.

It appears to be yellow.

It's nitrogen that gives it the yellow.

The colors start with D. A D-stone has no color.

So, what am I looking at?

H.

Is that still a good color?

That's a very good color.

The truth is that anything you can say about the diamond is in the nature of a flaw.

A perfect diamond would be composed simply of light.

Do you see the inclusion?

No.

It is small, what we would call a feather.

Yes.

I think I see it.

So, it is graded what?

A VS1.

Some might grade it higher.

You might grade it higher.

You like this stone?

Oh.

I like that stone.

How many carats is it?

3.9.

It's expensive.

Tell me what you see.

Remember, you're not looking for merit.

This is a cynical business.

We seek only imperfection.

This is a 5-carat stone.

Tell me what you see.

The culet seems big.

Crown and pavilion don't fit.

The girdle comes out crooked.

Very good.

But there is no perfect diamond.

"En este mundo nada es perfecto", as my father would say.

You're Sephardic.

Yes.

Do you know Spain?

I do.

And Spain me.

At one time, I thought she would return from the grave, but that is not to be.

Every country that has driven out the Jews has suffered the same fate.

Which is?

You don't want to hear.

We should talk stones.

The most valued stone is the red diamond from the Argyle Mines, so very rare.

I've seen two in a long life. A prize almost beyond belief.

I do want to hear.

Well, I have to say,

there's no culture, save for the Semitic culture, there.

The last known culture before that was the Greek, and there will be no culture after, nothing.

That's a bold claim.

The heart of any culture is to be found in the nature of the hero.

Who is that man who is revered?

In the classical world, it is the warrior, but in the Western world, it is the man of God.

From Moses to Christ, the Prophet, the Penitent.

Such a figure was unknown to the Greeks, unheard of, unimaginable.

Because there is only a man of God, not a man of gods.

And this God is the God of the Jewish people.

There is no other God.

We see him... What is the word?

Purloined.

Purloined in the West.

How do you steal a God?

The Jew beholds his tormentor dressed in the vestments of his own ancient culture.

Everything bears a strange familiarity.

The fit is always poor, and the hands are always dripping blood.

That coat? Didn't that belong to Uncle Haim?

What about the shoes?

Enough. I see your look. No more philosophy.

The stones themselves have their own view of things.

Perhaps they are not so silent as you think.

They were piped up out of the earth in a time before any witness was.

But here they are.

Let me show you.

This is a cautionary stone.

Although, I suppose every diamond is cautionary.

A cautionary diamond.

Of course, why not?

It's not a small thing to wish for, however unattainable... to aspire to the stone's endless destiny.

Isn't that the meaning of adornment?

To enhance the beauty of the beloved... is to acknowledge both her frailty, and the nobility of that frailty.

We announce to the darkness... that we will not be diminished by the brevity of our lives.

That we will not thereby be made less.

You will see.

Afternoon, sir. Thank you.

Looking good, Counselor. Chris.

How you doing?

Good.

Where's Reiner?

He's in there.

You don't have to worry about it.

Yeah, but who paid for it?

I put the credit card down. So, obviously, I paid for it.

You paid for it? I don't care.

But you like it?

I do like it.

I've never been to Barbados. Are all the ladies as sexy as you?

It's a steaming pit of sexual abandon.

I don't believe you.

Well, it used to be. I left.

Come in.

Good morning, Counselor.

Good morning. Malkina.

Hola, guapo.

Hey.

How's Laura? Incredible.

That sounds about right.

Nice lady, nice lady.

I assume that she's not privy to your newest business venture.

She's not. And your lady?

Uh...

Yeah.

"Yeah," what?

I don't know what she knows. I don't want to know.

You don't trust her?

Jesus, Counselor. She's a woman.

I don't mean to sound that cold.

I just mean that, where men are concerned, they've got their own agenda.

I always liked smart women. But it's been an expensive hobby, you know?

Yeah.

Do you know what all that stuff is? Uh...

Mostly, yeah.

Anything I don't know, I can ask her. Which worries me even more.

Hmm.

You never told me what happened with you and the lovely Clarissa.

Ms. Clarissa of the extraordinary body.

She used to go around with no bra.

Those firm nipples in her blouse or T-shirt.

I think in the end, it was jealousy that undid us.

Jealousy?

Yeah, she was getting more pussy than I was.

Is that true?

I think so. Probably, yeah.

I have to say that for a girl who liked girls, she took an extraordinary interest in the male member.

She sucked on it so hard it finally corrected my vision.

She left me for this good-looking black woman.

Whoo.

Had a boyfriend. Played for the Oilers. Nice chap. Nice chap.

We met once for drinks at this club in Dallas to discuss our mutual plight.

He was taking it rather poorly, I have to say.

Women do better, don't they?

Maybe they have more practice at it.

Yeah, well, my guess is that in most cases, if you still have the woman you're weeping over, you'll be weeping harder. Mm-hmm.

So, is this place secure?

Who knows?

I don't speak in arraignable phrases anywhere.

There's a scrambler on the phone, but still, there's a lot of smart people out there.

Of course, anybody who thinks he's the smartest... is on his way to the slam.

Would that be me?

No, no.

Although, I have to say that I always thought a law degree was a license to steal... and that you, for one, hadn't really capitalized on it.

You're not the straight dude people think though, are you?

I guess not.

I don't mean the caper, I mean you. Women like you.

All right.

Do you know what they like about you?

I'm a good fuck?

Right!

No, they can sniff out the moral dilemma.

The paradox.

"Moral dilemma."

Yeah, they're drawn to it. Not sure why.

Maybe it's just that lacking any moral sense themselves... they're fascinated by it in men.

Men are attracted to flawed women, too, of course... but their illusion is that they can fix them.

Women don't want to fix anything.

They only want to be entertained.

The truth about women is you can do anything to them except bore them.

Well... there's nothing about Laura that I would want to fix.

Maybe not.

Do you think she knows things about me that I don't know about myself?

Jesus, Counselor, I'm not even sure what sort of question that is.

Yeah.

Okay.

If you pursue this road that you've embarked upon... you will eventually come to moral decisions that will take you completely by surprise.

You won't see it coming at all.

I don't intend to take this up as a trade.

Yeah, one-time deal, right?

Which you've heard a thousand times.

No, but a few.

What usually happens is that after a couple of deals... they know more than you do and they set up shop across the street.

And how does that work out for them?

Not well.

So, that would be a moral issue.

Not for me.

Or for your associates.

Yeah, well...

They have a real aversion to mixing business with pleasure.

Do you know what a bolito is?

No.

A bolo is one of those skinny neckties... or one of those things you throw in Argentina.

Yeah, right.

No. In this case, it's a mechanical device... and it has this small electric motor... with this rather incredible compound gear that retrieves a steel cable.

Battery-driven.

And the cable is made out of some unholy alloy almost impossible to cut it.

And it's in a loop.

And you come up behind the guy and you drop it over his head... and you pull the free end of the cable tight and walk away.

No one ever even sees you.

And pulling the cable activates the motor and the noose starts to tighten... and it continues to tighten until it goes to zero.

It cuts the guy's head off.

Yeah, well, it can.

There's nothing he can do.

No.

Jesus.

Yeah.

How long does it take?

Oh...

Three, four minutes, five maybe.

It depends on your collar size.

You're shitting me.

No, no, no.

It's just that there's no easy way to turn the thing off, or reason to.

It just keeps running until the noose closes completely and then... it self-destructs.

Actually, you're probably dead in less than a minute.

From strangulation?

No.

The wire cuts through the carotid arteries... and then sprays blood all over the spectators... and everybody goes home.

Sweet.

Yeah, sweet.

Think about it, Counselor.

So where does all this beheading shit come from?

You never used to see that.

I think it's blown in here from the East.

Meaning the East?

Yeah.

You put nine Mexicans and an Arab in a room, and give them each $100, and come back in a few hours, who do you think is gonna be holding the grand?

So you gearing up to do business with them down the road?

The Arabs? Yeah.

No, no.

Why's that?

Because they don't need your money.


Do you have a dog?

Do I have a dog? Yes.

No, ma'am. Oh.

I don't have a dog.

Okay.

These are for me.

For you?

Yes, ma'am. It's a diet.

A diet?

See, I probably shouldn't even be telling you this.

I mean, I've tried a couple of times, and I gotta say' it works pretty good.

I mean, you don't really eat.

When you get hungry, you just pop a couple of these bad boys.

I carry a baggy full around with me.

Last time, I lost 27 pounds in 30 days.

I'd pretty much recommend it to anybody.

These diets you read about. I know this works.

I mean, but of course, like anything else, you gotta use your head.

Time before, I woke up in the hospital.

But you just gotta keep your mind on your business like anything else.

If you wanna lose weight, this is it.

After a few days, you don't even want anything else.

I'd absolutely recommend it to anybody.

But you said you woke up in the hospital.

What happened? Did you get a systemic reaction or what?

No, ma'am, it wasn't anything like that.

I was sitting in the street licking my balls, and a car hit me.

Take care now. You hear?


What?

Yeah? Well, too bad.


Here you go, ma'am.

Thank you.

Enjoy your meal. Thank you.

I have something to discuss with you... and I'm a bit scared.

Hmm.

Have you been bad?

No.

Actually, I don't have that much to discuss, so...

let me just give you this... and tell me what you think.

Will you?

Don't leave me hanging, here.

Yes, I will!

Try it.

What, you didn't know?

I knew... but I was scared anyway.

That's good.

It's so beautiful.

You are a glory.

I'm a glory?

Yes.

As in "glorious." You're a glorious woman.

And you're a man of impeccable taste.

Sorry, I shouldn't have said that.

You can't take it back.

Here.

I intend to love you until I die.

Me first Not on your life.

That's a nice ring. How many carats is it?

I don't know.

You don't know?

No.

You've gotta be kidding me.

No, I don't know.

Let me see it.

No, take it off.

Hmm.

It's a 3.5 carat. Maybe 3.8.

It's a nice stone. It's Asscher cut.

Thank you.

Good color.

Probably an F, or a G.

Nothing visible, so at least a VS2.

Wanna know how much it's worth?

No.

You really don't, do you?

I really don't So, have you set a date?

Not yet.

I really want to get married in the Church. And he's okay with that He was married before, so I thought that would be a problem.

But the Church doesn't recognize other marriages, so...

Are you nervous?

A little bit.

Sometimes I am.

So, you're a church lady?

I go. It's important to me.

And what about confession?

Yeah.

Well, maybe not so much.

Does the priest ever ask you about sex?

He doesn't ask, but you're supposed to tell him everything.

And all the nasty shit you did... you're just supposed to pretend like you're never gonna do it again, right?

I guess.

Strange.

And suppose you've done something really nasty?

He doesn't press you for the details?

I don't think so.

You're blushing.

Uh-uh.

Okay, we can change the subject.

We'll talk about my sex life.

You're teasing.

Just rattling your cage.

What a world.

Do you think the world is strange?

I meant yours.

- Hello? Reiner, are you there?

Counselor.

I think I'm in.

You can't think, Counselor. You're in or you're out.

All right, I'm in. And thanks.

Don't thank me yet.

I won't say, "I hope you know what you're doing" because you don't.

But, money problems are serious problems.

You keep telling yourself it's not as bad as it appears... and then one morning, you realize it's worse.

Am I close?

My back is against the fucking wall, man.

I believe you.

Do you have the cash?

I'll have it Thursday.

All right.

I'll call Westray and set it up.

Counselor. Westray.

It's not dark enough in here for you?

Wow.

That's a dandy. What happened?

Confrontation with a doorman.

"Confrontation"?

Jesus. What did you say to him?

I think I told him that he was not to take it personally... but he should go fuck himself.

What did he say to that?

He said, "I'm gonna hurt you, white person."

What will you have?

I'll have a Heineken.

Make it two.

I didn't know you got into donnybrooks.

I don't.

Anyway, it was in another country.

And besides, the wretch is dead.

No, but I sent a pair of reliable chaps to speak with him.

Bloody expensive, too.

You surprise me.

Counselor, I'm just a middle man.

I know the smallest crumb can devour us.

You learn not to let anything pass. You can't afford to.

I should keep that in mind.

You might keep that in mind. So, fire away.

All right. What do you do with the money?

What do I do, or what does one do?

What do you do?

Mine goes offshore.

We can talk about it if you like, but you can't use my people.

All right.

Okay. Let me make a call.

All right.

What else?

You seem unsettled.

I'm all right.

Uh...

What's the buy-out for this whole deal?

Net net?

Yeah. Net net.

It's hard to put a cold dollar on it.

You don't know what your expenses are up front.

It's 625 kilos, goes for about $50 an ounce in Colombia.

And the street value in Dallas can go as high as two grand.

Is that where it's going? Dallas?

No, it's going to Chicago. Don't write that down.

We're probably looking at 20 million.

Maybe a little more.

It's 21,900 ounces.

Good return on your investment Did you do that in your head?

No, I remembered it.

But I know someone who could do that in their head.

I'll bet you're right.

If you're not in, you need to tell me.

I'm all right.

It's just not our people. You got the money guys.

You gotta get money in dollars into Mexico, and you gotta get it out.

To do that, you need a corporation.

You can't go through the US banks.

And even then, you have to have someone on the inside.

You'd be surprised at the people who are in this business, very surprised.

You have a corporation?

No, of course not. You just pay the points.

The other option is cash, of course.

That's an even bigger headache for all the obvious reasons.

The biggest issue is not that your guy is gonna fall for some pole dancer and go south with a million of your duckets.

The biggest issue is someone is gonna figure out who he is and what he's up to.

Here we go.

No, you're good.

Thank you.

Well, cheers.

A plague of pustulant boils upon all their scurvid asses.

Is that your normal toast?

Increasingly.

So, if the drug wars stop... this will dry up, right?

Let's just say, it will be more than risky.

That's the thing Reiner doesn't seem to get.

You may have noticed his lifestyle has become increasingly lavish.

I've noticed.

I don't set foot in his clubs. And I miss the bastard.

We used to share a taste for exotic women.

In fact, a few times shared the women themselves.

That wouldn't include the present one, would it?

Now, why would you ask me that?

No reason. Sorry.

The answer is no, of course. The civil answer.

But I see a murky picture forming in that mind of yours.

How well do you know Malkina?

Not very well. Why?

Because you don't know someone until you know what they want... is why.

I'll try and remember that Good.

And Reiner?

Reiner.

Reiner is beyond advising.

Reiner thinks nothing bad can happen.

And he's in love.

You two are going to open a new club?

Is that all right?

Sure. Why not? What the fuck.

Do you know how many people were killed in Juárez last year?

No. A lot.

Yeah. I think 3,000 is a lot.

This is a different species, Counselor.

They will rip out your liver and feed it to your dog.

Jesus, Westray.

Let me ask you. Who do you think killed all those young girls before the so-called drug wars?

I don't know. Nobody knows.

"Nobody knows"?

No.

Come on, Counselor. Hundreds of girls, thousands, most likely. Follow the money.

If you have so much cash that you're insulating your house with ii, and you've bought all the clothes, and the cars, and the guns you can find a place to put, and you're morally depraved beyond all human recognition, what then do you do with your money?

Why do they kill them?

Who knows? Fun, snuff films. You'll see those will start turning up.

Anyway, what do you do with a 15-year-old you just ravaged in some heinous manner?

Do you think the drug lords hired kidnappers to keep them supplied with young girls?

I think they have kidnappers on full retainer.

I should keep that in mind, too.

I can't advise you, Counselor.

But you are advising me.

I just need you to be sure that you're locked in.

Because I don't know...

Maybe I should tell you what Mickey Rourke told what's-his-face.

That's my recommendation anyway, Counselor. Don't do it.

"This arson is a serious crime."

Yeah. And so is this.

I guess I'm a little taken aback at the cautionary nature of this conversation.

Good word, "cautionary."

In Scots law, it defines an instrument in which one person stands as surety for another.

As surety. Yes.

Sounds a bit primitive.

It is.

The problem being, of course... is what happens when the surety becomes the more attractive holding?

What about you?

I can vanish in a heartbeat with my money. Can you?

Truth is, Counselor, I can walk away from all of this in a second.

And I mean all of it.

You're not gonna believe this, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

I think about my life.

I can live in a monastery.

Scrub the steps, clean the pots, try some gardening.

You're serious.

Very.

Why don't you?

In a word? Women.

I've seen it all, Counselor.

It's all shit. It's all shit.

I'll be in touch.

Hey, Counselor?

You want to know why Jesus wasn't born in Mexico?

No, why?

Couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

And, Counselor, here's something else to consider.

The beheadings and the mutilations? That's just business.

You gotta keep up appearances.

It's not like there's some smoldering rage at the bottom of it.

Let's see if we can guess who it is they really want to kill.

I don't know. Who?

You, Counselor.

You.


Hey.

Did you bring cigarettes?

They treating you well?

Oh, yeah. Peachy.

You've got a preliminary hearing on the 17th.

What size dress do you wear?

I wear a five.

What about shoes?

Five?

Yeah.

Hat?

What?

What size hat?

A hat?

I don't know what size hat.

What the fuck do I need a hat for?

A hat? You're shitting me.

Yes.

You're a smartass.

You had me going there for a minute.

So, you gonna get me something sexy to wear?

No.

You'll probably have me looking like a fucking schoolmarm.

How about a businesswoman?

Yeah. Some business.

All right.

What was it you wanted to tell me?

My kid is in jail.

Oh, boy.

Where?

Fort Hancock.

What was he doing in Fort Hancock?

He was coming to see me.

What's he in jail for?

Speeding.

Speeding? Yeah.

Son of a bitch.

What, he couldn't pay the fine?

He had $12,000 on him, but they took that off him.

How did you find this out?

He called.

What else is he charged with?

I don't know.

Some other stuff.

And how fast was he going?

206.

206. Yeah.

What is that, "206"?

That's not a speed.

That's somebody's weight, or a time of day.

You're telling me he was going 206 miles an hour? In what?

On that Jap bike of his.

Listen, if you could get his money back... he could pay the fine and get out of there.

He's not getting his money back.

How much is the fine?

$400.

Jesus.

I don't guess you would spring for it.

Christ, $400?

Yeah.

All right.

"All right" what?

All right, I'll get him out.

Thanks. I owe you.

Yes, you do.

How about a blowjob?

You would still owe me $380.

Damn, but you are a smartass.

I know. You bring it out in me.

Lighten up, Ruthie.

Don't call me that I hate that name.

I don't even like "Ruth."

Take care, Ruth.

Guard.

Pull over.

How are you doing?

Get this thing out of here.

You got it.

Go.


Sorry. I got held up.

How are you, man?

You see a place like this in the cold light of clay, it looks pretty seedy.

But you get the right lighting in here... and some music, some good-looking girls... and it's a whole other world.

Jesus.

We're looking for cash flow here.

So, how soon do you think?

Two weeks. Three, max.

Yeah.

Are you gonna keep the dance floor?

Yeah. A dance floor takes up a lot of space... but you try and chat up a girl at a bar... she's supposed to tell you to fuck off.

She doesn't want to look like a bitch.

But, you ask a chick to dance... well, you got a better shot.

You know Peterson, right?

Sure.

Yeah, do you know he speaks Portuguese?

No.

Yeah, his family was from Brazil.

So this cousin of Peterson shows up, and we are all out here on Saturday night.

And the cousin is asking Peterson, "How do you say, 'May I have this dance?'"

Only we get wind of it.

And we shut Peterson up and we are coaching him on how to say it.

Repeat after me, "I want to eat your pussy." Right?

And we work with him till he's pretty much got it down.

"I want to eat your pussy." And we send him off.

He's this kind of elegant-looking guy anyway.

So he goes off across the room, and he picks out this really, really great-looking girl.

And he stands in front of her, gives her this little bow, and says, "I want to eat your pussy."

And of course, the table gets pretty quiet, and the girl looks up at him and says, "What did you say?"

And he says it again. A little bow, "I want to eat your pussy."

And she stares at him for a minute and then looks over to see past him, and of course, hears these three guys across the room all hugging each other and just weeping, weeping with merriment.

So she gets up, and she takes Peterson's cousin by the hand, and she takes him out to this van in the parking lot and proceeds to fuck his brains out.

He's gone for an hour. We don't know what the hell is going on.

And finally, she leads him back in, and gives him this big, sexy kiss, and she looks over at us to make sure we're all watching, and sends him back to the table.

Well, we're going nuts, nuts.

Peterson is trying to get the story out of him, and he's jabbering away, and we're like, "What's he saying? What's he saying?"

It's the whole thing. It's blowjob. It's the works, the works.

Jesus, we're just fucking flabbergasted.

And we are just sitting there staring at each other.

And after a while, Peterson gets up and looks at us, and off he goes.

He crosses the floor to where this cool-looking girl is sitting by herself.

And he gives her a little bow and announces that he wants to eat her pussy.

Well, of course.

Well, this time, the husband is coming out of the men's room.

And he's about, I don't know, 11 feet tall.

This guy hit him so hard that he came out of his loafers.

He came out of his loafers.

So Peterson is lying dead on the dance floor in his sucked feet...

Anyway, they called an ambulance, and they hauled Peterson off to the hospital, and he's got a concussion and a broken jaw.

Jesus. Yeah.

What did you guys do?

Nothing. We left.

We had enough fun for one evening.

Anyway, the other big space-eater is the bandstand.

I think what I'm gonna do is take the wall out... and get rid of the hallway, yeah.

I think that will do it.

Yeah. All right.

I'll talk to my guy and it should take two or three days.

That's my boy.


There he is.

I won't be able to get what the kid is saying. Is that okay?

We don't care what the kid is saying.

Did you get it?

Yeah. It's not much.

That's okay.

Keep your eye on him.

I am.

This guy doesn't read the fucking newspapers.

I know.

Could you see what it was?

Nope. But it's in the helmet.

Yeah.

It's in the helmet.

Yes? We got him.

Good. Stay with him, and call me back in an hour.

Come here.

Well, Counselor, how are you making it?

I'm all right.

Is this your lady?

It is.

Nice to meet you, ma'am.

Me and the Counselor go back a ways.

We do, I'm afraid.

Don't be afraid.

Hell, I'm okay with everything.

Are you okay with everything, Counselor?

I am if you are.

See, now, ain't he just the best son of a bitch?

All right, Tony, let's go.

How long have you known this guy, petunia?

Long enough.

Maybe you should listen to your lady friend.

Is that what you do, Counselor?

Pretty much.

Does he keep you entertained?

None of your business.

Because you look to me like you might get bored easy.

Tony, let's go.

Tony, I'm leaving.

Hell, Counselor, keep your seat.

You don't have to get up for me.

See, petunia, the Counselor has a way of sullin' up like a possum... when he don't get his own way.

I'm going to say you probably noticed it.

But that ain't really the problem.

The real problem is... his thin skin makes it okay in his eyes for you to wind up under the bus.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Anyhow, that's how I see it.

You take care now, you hear?

Baby!

Who was that?

It's an old client.

It goes with the territory.

I'm sorry.


Hi.

"Hi"?

Oh, um...

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

And?

How long has it been since your last confession?

Well, I've never been before.

This is my first Are you Catholic?

No.

Then I cannot give you absolution.

I know... but I just wanted to tell somebody what I had done... and I thought, "Why not go to a professional?"

Have you thought about taking instructions?

That's not something I do very well.

I mean, in order to become a Catholic.

Then you could confess... and you will be forgiven for your sins.

What if they're unforgivable?

Nothing is unforgivable.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I haven't killed anybody, but I've been pretty bad.

Look, we have people here waiting to go to confession... so, I'm sorry.

They can wait.

I did.

Who did you talk to about this?

Why did I talk to somebody?

You said "Bless me, Father."

Well, I asked a friend but she didn't know I was gonna do it.

So we're done here then?

I haven't told you my sins yet.

I don't want to hear your sins. There would be no point.

Were you baptized?

I don't know. It's possible.

Your parents never told you?

I never knew my parents.

They were thrown out of a helicopter into the Atlantic Ocean... when I was three.

Listen... you don't have to do the whole forgiveness thing.

All you have to do is listen.

To the sins.

Women tell you about sex, don't they?

I can't talk about that Yeah, but every woman who goes to confess tells you... that she's an adulterer or fornicator or something... or why else would she be there?

So you must have a very unusual picture of women.

You must think that they're just having sex all the time...

You really need to go now.

If you don't leave, I leave.

Wait, where are you going?

I wasn't finished.

I know.

I just wanted to hear your voice.

I really miss you.

I really miss you. I miss you so much.

You know what else I miss?

Don't go there.

Are you sure?

You're just glowing with sexual health?

Is that bad?

No.

I love it.

Do you miss me?

Yes.

Bad. Badly.

You haven't been taking liberties with your person, have you?

No.

You couldn't touch it with a powder puff?

Do you remember the night we met?

Yes, the airport parking lot.

Did you know I would do it that night?

Did I know you would do it with me?

Of course.

Why there?

I don't know. I thought it would be exciting, like In high school.

I remember asking you if you were all right, 'cause you were gasping like an asthmatic.

Oh, my goodness. Is this phone sex?

I wish you were here with me.

I know.

Life is being in bed with you.

Everything else is just waiting.

I love you very much.

I love you so much.

Good night.

Good night.

I don't know.

Women have funny ideas about sex.

They're supposed to be so modest.

Let me tell you, when they get it in their heads how they want to fuck... they're like a freight train.

Sign here.

The things I've learned about women.

Fuck.

About half of it I would like to forget.

I'm not sure if I follow you.

What is it you would like to forget, for instance?

You don't want to know.

Sure I do.

I don't know. Let's talk about something else.

Here.

Just pull up your socks and tell me.

Yeah...

I don't know.

What is it you would like to forget?

All right.

I would like to forget about Malkina fucking my car.

What?

See?

What did you just say?

I said I would like to forget about Malkina fucking my car.

I think.

What the hell are you talking about?

Do you remember that yellow California I had?

Sure. Nice car.

Very nice car.

Anyway, this was a while back, not that long.

We'd been getting it on for a while, and we came back one night.

We were staying up at Cloudcroft.

We drove out on a golf course and parked.

And we're sitting there, talking... and for no particular reason that I could see... she slides off her knickers... and hands them to me and gets out of the car.

I asked her what she was doing... and she says, "I'm going to fuck your car."

All right.

Leave the door open.

So... she goes around and climbs up on the hood of the Ferrari... and pulls her dress up around her waist... and spreads herself across the windshield in front of me with no panties on.

And she's had this Brazilian wax job, you know?

Don't even think I'm making this up.

You can't make this up, all right?

I mean, she was a dancer.

So, she does this full split... and then she starts rubbing herself up and down on the glass.

Then she leans down to see if I'm watching.

Like, no, I'm sitting there reading my email.

And she kisses me upside down.

And then she tells me that she's going to come.

I thought, "I 'm losing my fucking mind. That's what's happening here."

It was like one of those... one of those catfish things. You know? One of those...

One of those bottom-feeders you see going up the side of the aquarium... sucking its way up the glass.

I mean, it was, I don't know...

hallucinatory.

You see a thing like that, it changes you.

Jesus.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Did she...?

Did she what?

Did she come?

Yeah. Sure, yeah.

Finally she climbs down and she comes around... and she gets in the car and shuts the door.

I hand her her knickers, she puts them in her purse... and she looks at me to see what I thought about that.

What I thought about it?

Well, I don't know what I thought about it.

I mean, I still don't.

It was too gynecological to be sexy. Almost.

But mostly, I was just fucking stunned.

And I asked her if she had ever done that before... and she said she had done everything before. And I believe her.

So she starts the engine and turns on the lights, but the windshield is so smeared, and I didn't have anything to wipe it with.

And she, of course, suggested that I get out and lick it off.

But I tried the wipers, and naturally, the windshield washer thing doesn't work, because Italians don't really believe in that sort of thing.

And finally, I took off my socks and got out of the car and used them.

Do you think she knew what kind of effect this might have on a guy?

Jesus, Counselor, are you kidding? She knows everything.

You don't think this is an odd thing to tell me?

I think it is an odd thing.

No, I mean, why is it okay to tell a thing like that about somebody...

Somebody I'm banging?

Come on, Reiner.

Okay, I don't know, you're probably right.

Maybe I wanted to see what you would say.

Maybe there's more to it than that. Maybe I'm scared.

You're scared?

Yeah.

Probably, yeah. Sometimes... she scares the shit out of me.

Because of that? No, not that. But...

You're in love with her.

I don't know what I am.

Yeah, I guess I'm in love with her, but... you don't think that's cause for worry?

It's like being in love with... easeful death.

Well, I don't know what it is that you're trying to tell me.

I know.

Does this have anything to do with the deal?

I don't know.

You're right.

I shouldn't have told you.

Just forget it. Forget it.

Forget it? Yeah.

How do you propose I do that?

Jesus, Counselor, how do I know?

Just forget it.

I gotta go.

Sir, may I help you?

Nope.


Are you there?

Anything?

He's coming.

Yeah, I hear him.

All right, let's do it.


Jamie, come in.

Are we okay?

We're good.


Hi.

Hi.

I had a dream about you.

Did you?

Yeah.

Very strange. I woke up, and I could still remember the dream, but I could not remember why it was so disturbing.

You know?

I just wanted to call and see if you were all right.

Are you superstitious?

I don't think so.

No more than the next person.

And who would that be?

Excuse me?

The next person.

You're not gay, are you?

No, of course not.

I shouldn't have called.

I know you think my world is naive.

But is that so bad, to have hope?

I don't know. I can't advise you.

I know.

You should be careful what you wish for, angel.

You might not get it.

I know.

Do you?

Yes, I do.

Good. I'll see you at the club.


Do you know which truck it is?

Yeah. It's got Arizona plates.

Do you know how it goes?

Yeah.

It's color-coded.

Red to red.

Green to green.

Black to black.

See if it will start.

Wait a minute.

This thing has got a switch on it.

Try it now.

Counselor.

We've got a problem.

Are you there?

I'm here.

How bad a problem?

Let's say pretty bad.

And then multiply it by 10.

Fuck.

Meet me in the atrium at the Coronado.

Coronado? When?

Now.

We can start getting used to our new lifestyle.


Morning.

Have you seen the paper?

Nope.

Do you know who the Green Hornet is?

The Green Hornet? Yes.

He's a cartoon character.

He's a biker.

Shit.

Mmm.

All right, what?

Is he in custody?

It's in the paper.

What has he done?

You don't know anything about this?

About what?

Like I said, it's in the paper.

He had no ID on him? No.

No head either.

What the hell is this?

I was hoping you would tell me.

I had a call from our business partners.

They wanted to speak with you.

It seems the deceased was working for them.

Now the shipment is missing... and all they have to go on is that he was a client of yours.

Client? He wasn't a client.

You got him out of jail.

That doesn't make him a client.

It was a speeding ticket, for Christ's sake.

Jesus.

I am perfectly willing to believe you had nothing to do with this... but I am not the party you need to convince.

Convince of what, for Christ's sake?

That this is just some sort of coincidence.

They're a pragmatic lot. They don't believe in coincidences.

They've heard of them, they've just never seen one.

So, what happened to the shipment?

I asked them that And?

They said, "Se fue."

It's gone? Mmm.

Jesus.

Does his mother know? I guess she does. I need to call her.

That is probably not a good idea.

Why?

She said she's going to have you killed.

Sweet Jesus!

Sorry about that. What can I get you to drink?

Hemlock.

I'm sorry?

I'll have an OJ and a coffee.

He'll be having a double Maalox and a side of Oxycontin.

Just bring us the two coffees.

And my OJ.

How did you wind up with her?

The mother?

Yes, the mother. The mother of all mothers.

Court appointment.

It's an appeal. One of Ferguson's fucked-up deals.

Look, they can't hook me onto this thing, mother or no mother.

Well, I don't know what the kid told her, or what she told the kid.

But at this juncture, I would avoid trying to explain myself.

What do they think I would do with this shit?

They don't know. They don't care.

They think everybody is hooked into something.

You need to think about this, Counselor.

These people are out 20 mil.

Do you understand how serious this is?

They think we're all involved, don't they? Reiner, too?

What do you think? You fucking genius.

Have you ever seen a snuff film?

No. You?

Would you?

I would not.

Because the consumer of the product is essential to its production.

You cannot watch without being accessory to a murder.

Will there be anything else?

No, thank you.

Do you know somebody who's seen one?

Yes, I do.

He said the young girl was looking into the camera, crying... when her head was lopped off.

Think about that the next time you do a line.

I don't do drugs.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Because what follows, I would hope would be beyond your powers of imagination.

They let a figure in, wearing only a hood with eyeholes... to address himself to the headless and quivering corpse.

Which, you must remember, was selected because of her youth and beauty.

And all of this, he has paid for.

So, what do you think that cost? Ballpark?

Jesus.

Mmm.

God.

The point, Counselor... is that you may think there are things that these people are simply incapable of.

There are not.

Counselor, I don't know what you should do.

But at this point, it's out of your hands.

What about you?

I've known this day was coming for a long time.

Do I regret what I've done? That's sophomoric.

I should've jumped ship a long time ago, and I didn't.

So, what happens next?

I'm going to go find a nice, quiet place, and sit down and think about this.

I would suggest you do the same, but I know you won't.

If you think, Counselor, that you can live in this world and be no part of it... then all I can say is you're wrong.

It's not that you're going down, Counselor... it's what you're taking down with you.


Excuse me, ma'am.

I'm terribly sorry to bother you... but my phone is out and it's my kid's birthday.

May I please use your phone for just a minute?

Sure.

Thank you.

Where are you?

I can't call you on my cell anymore.

Now, listen to me. Go home and wait for me there, I'll call you.

I'll explain everything later.

I love you.

I'll call you later. Okay.

Thank you.

I hope you didn't call China.

Have a nice day.

You, too.

Fuck.

Switch off the engine.

They're not cops.

These guys are cartel.

Switch off your engine!

Go check it out.

Ah!


No problems.

Got to go.

Bodies on the road.

You talked to him.

Yeah, I talked to him.

I don't feel comfortable here. Can we go somewhere else?

Uh, sure.

Come on.

You think I know something you don't, Counselor? What would that be?

I don't know what "how bad" means. Bad is bad.

Westray thinks we're fucked. "We"?

Yeah.

All right. I suppose I could ask you if you've got a rat in your pocket.

You're not serious.

Well, when was the last time you tried to call him?

Yesterday. Why?

Why?

Because I couldn't reach him now, all right?

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

What are you? I don't know.

That's what Westray said. But he did know, didn't he?

What are you going to use for money?

I've got some money. I don't think so.

If you had any serious money, you wouldn't be in this jackpot in the first place.

I might. Oh, yeah?

Well, I know why I'm in it. Do you?

Sure. Same as you. Greed.

Yeah?

No. You got in trouble.

I tried to appeal to your greed two years ago.

No deal. Now, it's too late.

It's too late.

What do you think I should do?

I don't know, Counselor. I don't know.

They know that you're stupid.

They just don't know how stupid.

You say that like it's my hole card.

Maybe it is.

Suppose you could sit down and have a chat with these guys, what would you say?

I'd tell them the truth.

You're just a fucking wonder, do you know that?

Go ahead. Go ahead what?

With the truth. I'd like to hear it.

I'd tell them that I never even met this kid.

That I got him out of jail on a speeding charge.

Okay, how did he happen to hire you?

He didn't. I got him out of jail as a favor to his mother.

How do you happen to know the mother?

I was appointed by the court to represent her in an appeal on a capital murder case.

Do you know what her son did for a living?

No.

But you do now.

I do now.

And would it please you to tell the court what that occupation was?

How did I get in court?

I thought I was talking to cartel guys.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I was giving you the easiest way out.

Very funny.

Yeah, well, probably not.

I'm really worried, baby.

It's going to be all right. I'll take care of it.

Don't worry.

Can't you meet me someplace?

I can't right now.

That's not possible that you can't.

God, I miss you.

Meet me.

We really have to be careful.

How bad is it?

How bad is it?

All right, where?

How about Boise?

Boise?

Boise.

Why Boise?

What's wrong with Boise?

Have you ever been to Boise?

No, have you?

No.

Do you have a hotel?

I'm looking as we speak.

Tomorrow.

Boise.

Yeah, Boise.

I'll leave you a message at the Delta counter.

Okay.

Baby, I'm so sorry. I'll set this straight.

I know.

I love you. I love you.

Be safe.


Son.

Where do you think this is going, mi capitan?

This?

Yes.

I can't really take your question seriously.

It's going where it's going.

Well, either you think it's all going to work out... or you don't want to think about it at all.

Because the third alternative is unacceptable?

Yes.

The excluded middle.

I don't like decisions made for me.

But if you put them off, waiting for the maximum information... that may be what happens.

You think there's still space enough to make the decision, and then there isn't.

"Space." Yeah.

Hmm.

Greed really takes you to the edge, doesn't it?

Mmm.

That's not what greed does. That's what greed is.

When the axe comes through the door...

I'll already be gone. You know that.

That's fair enough.

You're in trouble.

Yeah, probably.

I don't want to lose you.

There.

I know.

Are you hungry?

I'm starving.


Fuck. Fuck!

Shit!

Intercept him! We want him alive!

Got it!

Fuck.


Ah!

No!

What the fuck did you do?


Do you know where Reiner is?

Nope.

He doesn't answer his cell.

And the phone at the club is no longer in service.

Where are you?

I'm at home.

I'm surprised to hear you're still there.

Well, I won't be in an hour.

An hour.

Yeah. Where are you?

I'm not at home.

What am I supposed to do?

What are you, a mental defective?

I can't advise you, Counselor. Call a cab.

Listen... if your definition of a friend is someone who will die for you... then you don't have any friends.

I gotta go. You take care.


No!


Dad! Dad!

Dad! Dad!

Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!

Dad! Dad!

Dad! What?


Are you all right here, sir?

Sorry?

Can I bring you something?

Would you do something for me?

Yes, sir. Of course.

Here's my card.

I'm a guest at the hotel.

What I wish you would do for me is go to the desk and see if I have any messages.

I know you're wondering why I don't go myself, but I've bothered them so much...

I think they're beginning to figure me for some sort of nutcase.

Sure. I'm afraid they'll stop looking.

You got it.


Abogado Hernandez?

I need your help.

Can I come see you?

No problem. Tomorrow.

Thank you.

Upstairs.

All right.

I have made the call.

You understand?

If it is all right, it is all right.

Don't put me in the center. Okay?

"In the middle."

In the middle, yeah.

What do I owe you?

You owe me nothing, Counselor. We are friends.

Just a handshake.

Thank you.

It will be a yes or no.

I will do what I can do.

But you must know that this is... a long shot.

I know.

Thank you.

Look, the last time I spoke to them, they were in Midland, Texas.

That was about two days ago.

So, I called up the Sheriff there and I asked him... had they found any dead bodies along the side of the highway?

And he said that they did. And I said, "Thank you," and I hung up.

I know you think I'm kidding.

But I'm not.

And I'm not out.

That's right. And I'm not kidding about that either.

Really?

No, I know where the truck is going. I always did.

Really?

Well, I think that falls under the category of "tough shit."

We're all done here.

Here. Thanks.


In the last two accounts, we're only an hour different... but it's another day.

It's tomorrow.

See, I love that. I love that.

So, what have we got? 625 kilos?

Yeah, something like that.

Shit. You know, of all the people... you and I should know if electronic money earns an extra day of interest... when it crosses an international date line.

Right? I'm just saying.

That's a good question.

Why is there a fourth drum?

No reason.

It's just convenient.

Convenient? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, maybe we have a traveler.

Like somebody, you wish for them to go away... so, you send them to America. That's all.

Can I have a look?

You want to look?

Yeah. Sick bastard.

Do you know who he is?

No. Fuck, no. He's some pinche pasajero.

A passenger?

Yeah. An immigrant.

So, it's just a way to get rid of a body?

Yeah.

From Mexico?

No, no, no. Colombia.

He came all the way from Colombia?

Mm-hmm.

What are you going to do with him?

Nothing.

He just goes back in the truck?

Yeah. Goes back in the truck.

Then what?

Nothing. It's just normal.

But they think it's a fucking joke.

They think it's funny, so they do this shit to me, you know?

But in this business, you gotta have a sense of humor, or else...

So, what happens to him?

Nothing. I told you... they go back together in the truck.

He's inside, they paint it, he rides around.

They try to sell it at auction maybe, maybe not.

He rides around some more, sucking up the shit.

Hey, welcome to America. Huh?

Yes, but I can only tell you what I already told our friend.

There is no one to talk to.

Could I come to The Florida?

The Florida is closed.

I would do whatever you suggest.

I have no suggestions, Counselor.

We could meet someplace.

We're meeting now.

I'm not sure you understand my position.

But I do, Counselor.

Actions create consequences which produce new worlds... and they're all different Where the bodies are buried in the desert, that is a certain world.

Where the bodies are simply left to be found, that is another.

And all these worlds, heretofore unknown to us... they must have always been there, must they not?

I don't know.

Did you say something?

I don't know what I was saying.

Counselor, at some point, you have to acknowledge the reality of the world that you're in.

There's not some other world.

This is not a hiatus.

Hiatus.

I believe the word is "hiatus“.

Can you spell that for me, please?

H-I-A-T-US.

Hiatus. Thank you, Counselor.

Will you help me?

I would urge you to see the truth of the situation you're in, Counselor.

That is my advice.

It is not for me to tell you what you should have done or not done.

The world in which you seek to undo the mistakes that you made...

Is different from the world where the mistakes were made.

You are now at the crossing.

And you want to choose, but there is no choosing there.

There's only accepting.

The choosing was done a long time ago.

Are you there, Counselor?

Yes.

I don't mean to offend you... but reflective men often find themselves... at a place removed from the realities of life.

In any case, we should all prepare a place... where we can accommodate all the tragedies that sooner or later will come to our lives.

But this is an economy few people care to practice.

Do you know the words of Machado?

I know his name.

Lovely poet.

Machado was a schoolteacher... and he married a young, beautiful girl.

And he loved her very much.

And she died.

And then he became a great poet.

I'm not going to become a great poet.

No, perhaps not. But even if you were to do so... it would not help you.

Machado would have traded every word, every poem, every verse he ever wrote... for one more hour with his beloved.

And that is because when it comes to grief... the normal rules of exchange do not apply, because grief transcends value.

A man would give entire nations to lift grief off his heart... and yet, you cannot buy anything with grief.

Because grief is worthless.

Why are you telling me this?

Because you continue to deny the reality of the world you're in.

Do you love your wife so much, so completely... that you would exchange places with her upon the wheel?

And I don't mean dying, because dying is easy.

Yes! Yes, damn you!

Well, that is good to hear, Counselor.

What are you saying?

Are you saying this is a possibility?

No.

It's impossible.

You said I was that man... at that crossing.

Yes. At the understanding... that life is not going to take you back.

You are the world you have created, and when you cease to exist... this world that you have created will also cease to exist.

But for those with the understanding that they're living the last days of the world... death acquires a different meaning.

The extinction of all reality... is a concept no resignation can encompass.

And yet, in that despair, which is transcendent, you will find the ancient understanding that the philosopher's stone will always be found despised and buried in the mud.

This may seem a small thing in the face of annihilation until annihilation occurs.

And then, all the grand designs and all the grand plans... will be finally exposed and revealed for what they are.

And now, Counselor, I have to go, because I have to make other calls.

If I have time, I think I'll take a small nap.

Welcome to London Heathrow, Terminal 5.

Please keep your bags with you at all times.

Any unattended luggage will be removed and may be destroyed.

I like the hat.

Thank you.

The International. Of course.

Hello, madam.

Hi.

Checking in?

How are you doing?

Okay.

You're Canadian.

You saw my passport. Where are you from?

New Mexico.

Have a drink with me.

What?

Have a drink with me.

You're a masher.

A masher? Lord, where did you hear that?

I'm teasing.

I think.

No.

Yes.

Señor, I must close.

I know.

You have no place to go, maybe?

I fell asleep, I'm sorry.

There is no harm.

No harm.

That's a lovely thought A magical thought.

Good night.

It's very dangerous out there. In the street.

I know.

If they hear somebody in the street, they shoot them.

Then they turn on the light to see who is dead.

Why do they do that?

To make a joke.

To show that death doesn't care. That death has no meaning.

Do you believe that?

No.

Of course not.

All my family is dead.

I'm the one who has no meaning.


Please hang up and try again.

If you need help, hang up and dial your operator.

So, you got the password?

Five digits.

Who's Rowena?

I don't know.

All right. Social security, driver's license.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

I don't see what good this will do unless you have the computer.

You and I are square.

So, are you planning to see him again?

What would be the point? He'll be broke.

Smart girl.

Or is it worse than that?

I don't want to get mixed up in something heavy.

You already are.

How would you know he won't come looking for you?

But he won't, will he?

No.

He won't

Jesus.

Take the money.

I don't want it.

Please yourself.

I have to go.

You know what I like about Americans?

No, what?

You can depend on them.

Thank you, Ray. Okay. Take care.


Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Drive.


There you go.

Drive.

On my count. One, two, three.


Momento!

Hey.


Oh, God!

No!


Good evening.

Lovely to see you, madame. Thank you.

Good evening, sir. Follow me.


Bon appétit.

It's good to see you.

You, as well.

How's Marisa?

She's fine.

You should come and see us.

I know.

We should talk.

Yes. Of course.

We need to move the money as soon as possible, speaking as your banker.

Are you returning to the States?

No, and I certainly can't go to Mexico.

I'm thinking Hong Kong. Really?

Mmm. You don't speak the language.

I'm a quick study.

Well, I suppose you could simply buy into the market there.

Yes, it's not a problem. Cash?

The easiest way to move cash is in diamonds.

You can hold $20 million in the palm of your hand.

Well, I suppose there's no problem selling diamonds in China.

You can sell diamonds on Mars.

You need to get out, Michael.

If anything went wrong, your name might come up.

That's right.

You're not really leaving me a choice, are you?

You'll thank me.

And the cats?

Silvia died, and Raoul is alive and well in Arizona.

I'll miss him.

I miss watching him out on the high desert bringing down jackrabbits at 70 miles an hour.

I never tired of that.

To see quarry, killed with elegance... it's just... moving to me.

Is it sexual?

Yes, of course. A thing like that is always sexual.

The hunter has grace, beauty... and purity of heart to be found nowhere else.

You can make no distinction between what they are and what they do.

And what they do is kill.

We, of course, are another matter.

It is our faintness of heart that has driven us to the edge of ruin.

Perhaps you won't agree... but nothing is crueler than a coward.

And the slaughter to come... is probably beyond our imagining.

I think you've told me more than I wish to know.

Then I'll say no more.

Shall we think about ordering?