The Devil's Playground (1976) Script

Hello, Brother.

Hey, Brother, look at me!



You all right, Brother?


Oh, it's Tom, is it?

Oh, yes, I'm just taking my leisure, Tom.

Having a bit of a ponder.

Having a snooze.

Yes, I think I did doze off for a while.

A combination of old Sol and old age.

Are you cold, Tom?

A bit, Brother.

Mmm. The water's getting a bit cold now for swimming.

There won't be any more swims this season, I'm afraid.

Water can get so cold it can freeze you to death.

I'm freezing just here.

~ Oh, run along with you. ~ See you, Brother.

~ Gotcha! ~ You got balloon, Waite, yeah? {?????} ~ Yeah.

Oh, you can beat me, can you?

~ Any time, Waite! ~ Yeah?


All right.

~ Tell you what. ~ What?

The winner can do anything he likes to the other. Right?


Anything! Right?

Told you, Waite. It's easy.

~ Well? ~ Well what?

What are you going to do to me?

Nothing! I won, that's enough!

Come on, Scraggs, there'll be no hot water left!

For goodness's sake, Allen, what do you think you're doing?

I can't wash properly, Brother.

Get them on. You're disgusting, exposing yourself. Where's your modesty?

If you're to be a little brother of Mary, you must learn your body is your worst enemy, Allen.

Avert your eyes, you lot! The eyes are the windows of the soul and must be protected.

You must be on guard against all your senses at all times.

You're preparing for a brotherhood which requires you to take stringent vows:... poverty, obedience, chastity. Hear that, Allen?

Chastity! If you're to carry them out, you must train yourselves now.

Turn your backs on worldliness --- purge yourself of temporal temptations.

Practice self-denial.

Self-examination, self-discipline!

So that you may be worthy of the call to be among God's chosen few.

Come on!

~ How long did it take you to read it? ~ Two hours.

You're kidding!

Carry on, brave soul!

The one night, I discovered that Jan went with a man behind the chicken houses.

Oh, Walter! That could make us anything!

Oh, yes!

~ Go on, Timmy! ~ Come on!

Come on, Timmy!

¤ How much is that doggy in the window?

¤ The one with the waggedy tail.

¤ How much is that doggy in the window?

¤ I do hope that doggy's for sale!

¤ How much is that doggy in the window?

¤ The one with the waggedy tail. ¤ Watch that!

¤ How much is that doggy in the window?

¤ I do hope that doggy's for sale! ¤

~ Late again, James! ~ A few more minutes...

Punctuality is a virtue, Brother.

~ Good morning, Jim. ~ Good morning.

~ How much longer until the boys' bell? ~ Only twenty minutes.

I'm afraid I'm a bit late.

I've got to rush.

He pissed his bed.

~ Pissed the bed! ~ Pissed the bed!

Wet the bed again, Allen?

Yes, Brother.

~ You drink anything last night? ~ No, Brother.

Are you sure?

Yes, Brother.

Hurry up and fix them. You'll be late for Mass again.

Yes, Brother.

Fifteen lates and four untidies.

That must be a record.

~ Gee, you're in trouble. ~ Shut up, Woody.

Eggs and chops, please.

Porridge again.

Leave that --- leave it!

Let it set. You'll ruin anything, you scallywags!

"'Nor am I aware of it,' replied the Lord with a sigh.

"'But I should like to know whether you have any idea of the meaning of those words...

"'punching ball?'

"'My knowledge of the English language has not improved, Lord,' replied Don Camillo..."

That gives us 2x, and subtract those: x² from x²,... no remainder; 2x from 4x gives us 2x,... bring down the 4...Let's try that.

Now 2 times x gives us 2x.

Two times two, 4. Bring that across...

Subtraction: x² from x²: no remainder.

Allen. Allen!

You're an idiot, Allen. What are you?

What are you, Allen?

An idiot, Brother.

Righto, that's enough. Come on, Westaway, you're no better.

Right, page 41, everybody. I want ten answers before the break.

Come on, get to it.

Damn you, damn you, who the hell do you think you are?

Running away like shit off a shovel.

Come back, you wave of curly thick ????. Come back you good-for-nothing coward!

Righto, righto, come on, back to work.

Hey, Casey --- what's the difference between Allen and a crocodile?

A crocodile likes his bed in a river,... and Allen likes a river in his bed!

Hiya, Tom. Hiya, mate!

A right boy your are, hey?

At your age, Smith, you may have noticed certain changes taking place in your body.

Hair growing in places it wasn't before.

You may have been having what are called "wet dreams".

~ You know what wet dreams are? ~ Yes, Brother.

Have you experienced it?

Now these changes are called puberty. It's, um... nothing to worry about.

It's just your body growing into manhood, and... you're experiencing for yourself one of the miracles of life.


What's it about?


Come on, hurry up.

He wants to tell you about what you've just been doing.

Funny, Casey.

Take your hands out of your pockets!

I don't know who was the more embarrassed, them or me.

Have you finished with that, Brother?

~ I don't envy you, Brother. ~ I don't think it's necessary.

Neither do I. We're not Jesuits!

Well, you're certainly not.

If I'd wanted to go into theology, they'd think one ought to become a priest.

Priests or Brothers --- they're all the same.

Slow eaters.

My point is that if you dedicated yourself to the religious life, then that's what you should do.

There's no one more dedicated than the Irish.

But there's never been an Irish pope, has there, Father?

You're right, Mrs. Sullivan, that's the luck of the Irish.

~ That's true. ~ Luck of the Irish.

I've got lots to learn about teaching yet.

But you're teaching religion, also.

That's a bit unfair, Frank.

Not everyone who goes into business wants to be managing director.

Not every politician wants to be Prime Minister, either.

That's laziness, or lack of ambition.

Oh, come on, Frank. I think that all God would require of a man... is that he does what he feels he can the best that he can.

Here's your sweets, Brother.

We've got more than enough to do anyway,... with university courses and study.

And I've got more than enough to do than stand around... all day listening to this nonsense.

Have you finished with that, Brother?

The mind should be fully occupied.

Discipline of the mind is the most important facet of religious life.

~ An undisciplined mind is... ~ "The Devil's Playground"!

Hey, Tom. Hey, Tom, you want to wrestle?

~ Not now, Scraggs. ~ Oh, come on!


You got hair yet?

A little.

So have I.

Funny stuff --- what's it for?

I don't know.

You should see Tomkin --- I reckon he cuts it to make it grow faster.

~ Tomkin's warped. ~ Tomkin's is going to fall off.

He never leaves it alone, you know.

It's embarrassing, isn't it?

~ Yeah. ~ It keeps swelling up. It won't go away.

~ You should leave it alone, ~ Oh, sure.

~ Hey --- you seen Mahoney? ~ No. ~ Oh, he'd beat Smith, I reckon.

~ You seen Mickey Smeall's. ~ He wouldn't have any.

He would, I reckon.

That lad Thomas has, and he's only twelve.

Maybe he would.

I wouldn't mind seeing Smeall's.

Hey,did you see what Tierman did the other night?

~ No --- what? ~ Pretended he was sleep-walking.

Nothing on. It was sticking right out.

He threatened to climb into Johnson's bed!

Really? Oh, wow!

Hey --- you want to wrestle?


"Devil's Playground."

I wish he'd play on somebody else's ground and leave me alone.

He ought to try Arnie for a change. He wouldn't have a hope.

That guy is so pure he makes me feel like Saint Augustine before he got religion.

Saint Augustine --- hope for me yet, Jim!

Ah, there's Sebastian again, talking to young Allen again... confusing the poor little blighter.

We ought to keep them apart.

He's too impressionable, that Allen.

He tries. He's got the right feelings.

He's an untidy little bugger, though.

He's constantly got an erection.

Talk about sex rearing its ugly head!

It just about rears him off the ground permanently.


What about you, Jim? Young blood in the prime of his pulsings?

What tricks do you use to keep your bolter at bay, huh?

~ Jim? ~ Not just at the moment.

Look at that bloody fanatic.

What a prick!

Pardon me, Brother. Would you mind explaining where you've been the past three days?

Certainly, Brother Celian. With three big-breasted blondes in a brothel in Perth.

Brother, really!


That's beautiful.

If you were Francine, what would you be doing right now?

I'd be crawling behind that hedge like vermin, trying to catch you rats imitating my mental deficiencies.

It gets us all in various ways.

It's not natural.

It's not bloody natural.

Chess, Victor?

Mmm, chess!










Good news?

Yeah, great!

I got good news, too.

~ I've been accepted into Fidelity. ~ Have you!?

~ Yeah. ~ Not much hope for me there.

That's 'cause you're always late!

I can't help it.

~ I'm supposed to be at the old job now! ~ Hang on, I'll come with you!

I've got something else to tell you.

It's all based on Saint Nigella. Hanson's is the founder.

This order started the same way, with just a handful of men.

Hanson's wants it to be special: dedicated only to prayer, meditation, and penance.

The mind will be the master.

We need to...isolate pain..

Sort of separate it from yourself.

We want to achieve purification of the body and the soul.

To experience ecstasy, like Nigella did.

The true religious experience.

Discipline, control, concentration, and meditation.

I've got to get going. Fitz will kill me.

Keep it quiet. We don't want anyone to know yet.

Most of them wouldn't understand.

~ See you there tonight, then! ~ Righto!

It's well, you're my mate --- nobody else'd put up with you.

Keep the damned thing straight, will you?

Don't push back! Just pull! Pull!

That's it --- pull!

Get the rhythm --- that's it, Tom!

~ We're not bleeding cutting anyway. ~ Thank God for that!

Just pull --- that's it!

What are you going on to? Minding pigs{????}? Gardening?

~ Haircutting. ~ Haircutting? Count me out!

Thought you'd be my first customer.

Not on your life!

Come on!

Ah, we're through.

What's the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut?

Yeah, I know --- two weeks!

Two weeks too cold!

Hey, listen --- while I think of it:... don't get tangled up with that Turner bloke, either.

He's nuts, do you hear me?

Go on, that's enough. Nick off to the lounge {????}.

~ Thanks, Fitz. ~ See you later.

See you, Fitz.

Come on, you can do better than that! Come on!

~ Bring it over here. ~ Come on, bring it back!

Play the ball, not the boy!

Allen --- to left wing!

~ You pigheaded idiot! ~ Back me up!

Oh, come on, help me.

Casey, over here!

You all right, mate?

Hey, you rat, Allen!

Rules are rules and they've been rules for generations.

~ Discipline of mind, body, and soul... ~ It hasn't happened in ordinary colleges.

This is NOT an ordinary college.

The fact that the boys always have to keep their bodies covered, even in the shower... that's still unhealthy and unjust.

Oh, come on. I don't believe that.

It's not natural, it must breed sick attitudes.

You know, they've already made the dictionary a dirty book.

That's 18 years ago. It certainly wasn't me.

It certainly is. A harmless bit of titillation is transformed into pornography.

They have smutty minds.

Well, they're undergoing immense physiological changes.

Strange things are happening as far as they're concerned.

Bad luck, Brother.

Obviously they are more than conscious of sex.

Because that's what it's all about!

Sexual awakening --- ripening!

~ Oh, great shot! ~ God's on your side.

And they want to know if it's happening to others.

~ How can they? ~ It's all so secretive, all covered up.

This bit or's unnatural.

Ah, well --- it's a breeding ground for bloody poofters.

You've been there, Frank, we all have.

It's so stupid.

It makes it all so unnecessarily important.

Come on, Jim, you've got a setup.

Well, change the rules.

But they weren't made for no reason.

Break the discipline with masturbation.

Don't tell me you don't think they masturbate now, Frank?

They shouldn't be here if they can't control themselves.

We should be tougher --- keep their minds occupied.

Teach them self-discipline...that's what the rules are for!

Discipline, training, to resist temptation.

I think I'm going to need self-discipline to get out of this one.

~ Pray, Brother, pray. ~ What's so wrong with masturbation, anyway?

If you don't do it yourself, well, it comes out of its own accord.

You know, for years I fought against it.

All you learn is to hate your body.

You know, we're old men. Our religion is based on love.

We spend the time hating ourselves.

And another thing --- what if God isn't there? Heh?

We'll hate ourselves then, won't we?

Anybody care for a game of snooker?

~ There we are, Brothers! ~ Dedicated to the power of prayer.



Welcome to our purification, Tom!

Come --- bare your despicable body!

Let us beat out your evils!

Transcend pain with us... to a true spiritual love!

You're bloody mad!

Stop him, Brothers! Quick!

~ You better stop, Allen ~ Don't tell anyone, Allen!

~ Head him off! ~ Stop, Allen!

~ Secrecy {????}, Allen. ~ Promise, Allen!

Or we'll cover you in birds' blood. Secrecy, Allen! Promise!

~ Someone's coming! ~ Run!

What's all the noise here?

What happened to you? You all right?

Oh, not them! I told you to stay away from those fanatics, didn't I?

They ought to be stopped before they go too far. They're mad!

Haven't got much to say for yourself, have you?

You nut! Come on.

One! Two! Three!

That's what I should do to you.

The your body would be just like your brain --- frozen solid!

Like yours, you mean!

Wouldn't want to fall in. Wouldn't last thirty seconds in there!

Do you ever worry about dying, Fitz?


I hope I die in a state of grace.

You? State of grace?

Probably die playing with yourself.

~ Quit it, Fitz. ~ Straight to hell!


Oh, you'll be all right, mate.

You're practically an angel, you're so holy.

You're always in chapel.

I don't know how you do it.

I get sore knees and run out of words.

There's only so much you can say to someone who's not around at the time.

What do you do? Say the Rosary?

No --- just think.

It's quiet. I think.

Tell Him my problems. Ask His help.

Tell Him my doubts. Do you ever doubt, Fitz?


Hey, Scallan's gone, you know?

Scallan? When?

Today. Celian called him out of class this morning.

Told him to take his pin, and that was that.

Whoa. What'd he do?

Don't know.

He was a great bloke, though.

~ Pretty clean, too. ~ Must have been something.

We'll never know.

It's really bad --- no explanations, no goodbyes.

~ Just take your pin. ~ Maybe he chucked it in?

Lost his vocation.

~ They'll never tell. ~ Maybe he had trouble at home.

Maybe. They should be able to tell us. We're not idiots.

Probably think it'll make us doubt.

Yeah --- cut out the rotten fruit before it contaminates the rest.

Load of rubbish.

Must think our vocations are pretty weak!

Just take your pin.


Quickly and quietly! Quickly and quietly!

Move on quickly.

~ Save us a place, Mick. ~ Haven't got a chance, Tom.

Sorry, Turner. Hot water bottles aren't that hot.

I put boiling water in it.

Boiling water?

Boy, it would burn your leg off.

Didn't feel a thing.

~ I transcended it. ~ Ten minutes?

You kept your leg on it for ten minutes?

Yeah --- look!

God, Brother, you're mad!

Perfect meditation. With this sort of concentration, I could achieve any spiritual state.


~ Now I'll see if I can endure cold. ~ Tom!

Brother wants to see me.

Be careful of following around fanatics.

You keep your innocence, Tom. Be true to yourself.

You've got a smile that'll take you half way around the world, Tom. Don't you lose it!

Slow down --- you'll kill us.

Well, we don't want to miss the bounce!

We only get to the footie four times a year.

~ Tom at full forward? ~ You bet!

~ Great! ~ I can't wait to get lost among that crowd!

Normal humans again.

Well, are you normal?

~ Freak! ~ Well, almost!

Hey, why don't you join us, Frank?

Yeah, it'll do you good. Have a bit of a yell, let off some steam!


I'm going to have a nice quiet day.

There's a great exhibition at the museum.

Oh, yeah? Well, we'll pick you up at the post office, will we?


What about six?

Give or take an hour or two, knowing you.

~ Any chance of you being served there? ~ Not much!

Here, Jim!

~ Can't you see that? You bloody mad? ~ Get off it. You're mad!

~ Cheers. ~ Cheers.

~ Kick it! ~ Get rid of it!

Great! Great play!

Hey, hey, get off him, will you?

Pride, they say, Brother, comes before the fall.

I think he's hurt more than his pride.

Come on, let's move it!

Oh, wow, look at those!

~ Would she be shaved? ~ I think it's painted out.

Sure, it would be underneath, wouldn't it?


Oh, you little bastard, Allen!

~ Give us my ball. ~ Piss off!

~ Give us my ball. ~ Piss off!

Oh, give it to him, Westy.

Give us my ball.

Righto. Get it, Piss-the-bed!

~ I've got it all worked out. ~ What?

The endurance to cold.

The lake --- at night!


What a game, hey!

The best. It was brilliant!

He's the best rover in the league!

Hey. Cop that!

Would you like to...

Give us a refill, thanks, man.

Oh, this is doing me good! Doing me good!

Here's what we need.

Not bad in here, is it?

They enough beers, Madge?

They killed them today. Really killed them.

Yeah --- great match.

They even beat the umpire.

Come on, Jim.

Let's see how we go.

Come on, what are you scared of?

They won't bite.

Hi, girls.

Oh! Hi, handsome.

Mind if I join you?

Please do.

What about your pretty friend? He shy?

A bit, yeah!

~ Hey, come on, Jim. ~ Yeah, come on, Jim.

It's all right, mate, come on.

We won't eat you.

Hey, Jim!

I need...I need some air. I'll see you in the car.

Can't take it, these young blokes.


Well --- what do you girls do for a living?

Oh, we work around the corner in the factory.

I'm a secretary. Madge here's in accounts.

It's pretty boring.

~ Oh? ~ We'd much rather just live it up a bit.

Have a bit of fun.

Yeah --- a bit of fun.

A few laughs, a few drinks. Meet some interesting fellows.

And what do you do with yourself all week?

I'm a schoolteacher.

Oh, so you'd need a bit of fun yourself, then.


Yeah, sure.

How do you...what do you...

Well, it's about time.

God, Jim, they were serious. They nearly had me.

It's the last time, Jim. I promise.

It's the last time.

Frank will be furious.

It must be really late.

~ Sober up. ~ Yeah, OK.

OK. That was too close. It was close, Jim.

Slow down, Vic!

Look out, you'll kill us!

We're not too bad. A few bruises, the back's a bit sore.

The car must be a mess.

Oh, yeah, you should see it.

It's going to cost us a fortune, I'm afraid.

You don't look too good.

That's funny --- I feel wonderful.

How are the others?

Well, Brother James is all right. Francine's rather badly shaken up, I'm afraid.

We saw him go inside a minute ago. He looked a bit strange. Isn't he...

He probably didn't see us, Dear.


~ Hi Mom, hi Dad! ~ Here's Tom. Well, I better leave you.

Goodbye, Brother.

Have a nice stay, Mrs. Allen.

Thank you.

~ How about this lot. ~ Hi, Tom.

By golly, he's grown, hasn't he?

How are you?

What do you think about your Mum staying, eh?

~ That be good? ~ I'll say. Two weeks.

It's more than a guest house {????}. You'll have to have a look at it.

It'll do you good. Won't it, Dick?

Auntie Mary's due to have a baby soon. It might be twins.

~ Twins? Gee. ~ They think so. She's rather large.

Isn't she, Dick?

Like a mountain!

Here, Dear, have one of these, something to keep you going.

~ I got a new bike. ~ Yeah, the lucky devil!

Have you? A newie?

No, it's Stevie's old one, I'll fix it up.

¤ Tell me I may always dance... The anniversary waltz with you.

¤ Tell me this is real romance,... An anniversary dream come true.

¤ Let this be the answer to our future years,... Through millions of smiles and a few little tears.

¤ May I always listen to the anniversary waltz... With you.

God, I'm in trouble again!

C = (F - 32) x 5/9 He steeped himself in the rationalism of the Enlightenment... and the romantic philosophy of Rousseau.

And you'll note that it starts in a circle at the top... those of you who listen to me in French class... will know it's called a cirque.

This is Bryan Anderson. Bryan just started in accountancy.

~ Hi. ~ Hi.

And this is Nigel Ryan.

~ Nigel's an actor. ~ A resting actor.

~ Hello. ~ Hello.

~ And over here, Miss Doyle... ~ Hello. and Miss Weatherhead.

Hello. He's handsome, isn't he?

Take after his father?

Of course.

Miss Doyle and Miss Weatherhead are in charge of the girls...

~ who are here on the Christian... ~ Christian Fellowship Association.

Quite a job they have, too.

~ You know what you've been missing out on? ~ Quit it, Lynnette!

I think so.

Aren't you a bit young to know?

I'm in fourth form.

~ Just because you're bright doesn't mean to say you know everything! ~ Quit it, Lynnette!

You're only 13.

Well, it's better you than me, that's all I can say.

You won't be able to get married, have a family.

There's a lot more to life than that, too!

Vocation is a special thing.

It's hard to explain.

Not many people are so lucky.


~ Lucky! ~ Hang on, Nigel.

~ How did you get your vocation? ~ Did God send you a letter or something?


It was during Benediction. It's hard to describe.

I sort of got carried away...

~ The atmosphere. ~ Yeah.

~ Once removed from God. ~ One thing about the Catholics, you know... their services are pure theater.

~ Wonderful. ~ You're a nut, Nigel.


Lynette, you've had it --- I'm going to get you now!


I'm going to get you!

Given up, have you?

It's so high.

~ That was fun. ~ Yeah.

¤ It's whispered to me that you're wonderful, beautiful, heavenly...

~ ¤ and that you're... ¤ ~ Are you singing, Allen?

~ Yes. Brother. ~ I can't hear you.

My voice has dropped, Brother.

Are you sure you're not dropping it deliberately?

Yes, Brother.

Yeah, well, very well, right.

Well take it from the third and fourth lines, boys.

Ready? One, two, three:...

¤ It's whispered... ¤ Oh, come on, come on, why aren't you singing now?

~ Good morning, boys. ~ Good morning, Father.

I'm sorry, Father. I didn't see you there.

Welcome back!

It's good to be back, Brother!

Well, all ready for the retreat, boys?

Yes, Father.

A retreat is a time for meditation.

The silence isn't a hardship, penance {????} has a purpose... it's there to rid you of all distractions.

So that you can think and concentrate.

So that you can examine yourselves...thoroughly.

Three days' silence isn't a long time... when you consider the benefits.

In the days before the retreat, I'll be available to talk to.

As you can see, I'm quite a friendly chap,... with quite broad shoulders,...

If there's anyone who has any problem he'd like to speak to me about... feel free.

I find it hard sometimes, Father.

I'm always in trouble for being late. Being untidy.

But you're trying, aren't you, Tom?

I am trying.

I'd like to make this a vale to Our Lady if I can.

Well, trying's the important thing.

Keep trying, and pray to God.

He'll help you.

I spend a lot of time in chapel, Father.

I noticed that, Tom, that's good.

Anything else worrying you?

Any problem you think you can't talk to anyone about?

No. Not really.

You don't sound sure.

You can talk to me, you know, that's what I'm here for:...

To help.

Nothing, really.

Do you have any...temptations you find hard to handle?

~ Bad thoughts, say? ~ No more than normal, Father.

Do you have trouble with...playing with yourself?

No, Father.

That's good.

I believe you have a problem with bedwetting.

I've got something here that might help.

It's water from the shrine at Lourdes.

Lourdes water?


At the invitation of Brother Gérard,...

~ With red hair? ~ That's right!

Extraordinary! I've known him for years. I was stationed with him...

...six years ago. He runs a marvelous community.

Yes, you wouldn't get away with much with him, though.

He's as tough as nails.

He's got a great sense of humor, though.

~ Remarkable man. ~ Yes, he certainly is.

He's the reason I became a Brother.

~ Really? ~ He used to teach me when I was at school.

I thought he was wonderful.

You're a bit edgy tonight, Frank.

My word, I'm edgy. I very nearly lost my life because of you and your weakness.

An experience I could well have done without.

~ Oh, let's not go through all that again... ~ Excuse me...

But we were having a pleasant evening!

I don't think Father Marshall should be subjected to our family squabbles.


Please, please, treat me as one of the family. I enjoy it.

I should think so, too. I mean, where else could you find such wonderful company?

Intellectual, witty, talented...

That was a rather nice piece you were playing then, Brother.

Perhaps Father Marshall would like to hear some more?

~ Marvelous! ~ Yes, more please!

How are the studies, James?

Oh, managing.

Managing!? He loves it!

He's going to do very well, I think.

You really love all this...brotherhood, don't you?

Yes, I do.

I belong here.

Part of a community.

Oh, I've got my weaknesses.

As he knows.

There's a lot here that troubles me.

A lot of things I don't agree with, but...

I'm a grass reed --- I'll go with it.

Hopefully, I can affect some changes for the good.

I'm good with the boys.

I don't know --- it's a pretty hard thing to explain, really.

~ I'm off to bed. Good night. ~ Good night, Brother.

Maybe it's because we're one big happy family.

Hey, Tom. Would you like to go for a walk with us girls?

Do you mind, Mom?

No, go on --- the fresh air will do you good!

Great, see you. Bryan, Nigel?

I'm just about to move in for the big destroy.

Oh, yeah?

Hey --- it's starting to rain!

We'll get saturated!

Let's head for that tree over there.

Come on!

It beats drowning. It's great, isn't it?

Yeah, it's great!

It's coming down in buckets.

Did you get very wet?

A bit.

~ You cold? ~ A bit.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

I know.

Will you write to me?

Do you want me to?

~ Please! ~ OK.

I'm not a very good letter writer, though.

~ I am. ~ OK.

Well, you'd better pretend you're my cousin when you write.

They check all our letters.

~ Would you rather I... ~ No!

Please write.

~ Bye, Dad. ~ See you.

~ Bye, Mom. ~ Bye, son.

Bye-bye, son. See you soon.

~ Bye, Tom. Bye. ~ Be good!

Lourdes water? Really? Show me?

Looks just ordinary water to me.

~ Father Marshall gave it to me. ~ What for?

To cure my problem.

What, whacking off?

Wetting the bed.

~ What do you do? ~ Put a drop on your tongue every night...

~ and say a prayer to Our Lady... ~ On your tongue?

You should put it on your dick. Stop all the pissing and the pulling!

Shut up, Fitz!

The weird and the whacking...

~ Quit it, Fitz! ~ Flowing and the blowing...

Now quit making that row. Now get on with it. Where's the milk?

Look at those peelings, all over the place!

You two boys, you can't do anything right!

Keep still.

This better be good, Allen.

Don't worry, it's beautiful.

You're the first solo, it's got to be beautiful.

~ Ouch! ~ Sorry --- forgot to keep the clippers going.

No nicks, right?

There was a little. I'm fixing up, it won't be long.

Take your time, it's only been half an hour.

Keep still.

There! Perfectly straight! No nicks --- look!

~ It's beautiful! ~ Oh, hell, Allen!

Without exception, death will come to each and every one of us.

The clods of earth will rattle on each of our coffins.

The body we pamper will become a city of corruption.

A horror under the earth.

Our own mothers could not bear to look upon it.

If we are saved, our bodies will rise again, free and glorious, when Christ comes.

But if we lose our battle with temptation,... we know what our agony will be.

Forever more, we shall be awash in the burning rivers of the dead.

Forever more, the stench of hell, of the rotting flesh of the damned... will fill our nostrils.

Forever more, our ears will resound with the screams of the tormented.

Forever more, our pain will be like the pain of a man tied down, unable to move,... while one fiery worm eats at his vitals.

The man screams for unconsciousness... but there is no unconsciousness in hell.

The worm eats and eats and its work will never finish... but continues forever more.

And what does that forever more mean?

Imagine a sphere of metal, vast as the sun.

Imagine that once every ten thousand years... a sparrow should visit it and brush it with its wings.

When that ball had been worn to nothing... we would still be in hell!

We would still be the howling damned... who do not see God's face!

The retreat has begun.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It is one week since my confession.

~ Yes... ~ Father, I have...

Yes, come on, lad. You don't have to be shy with me.

~ It's not easy. ~ Well, what's the matter?

Have you been abusing yourself, have you?

No good trying to hide it if you have.

~ It's more than that, Father. ~ Oh, don't be so ridiculous, lad.

Whatever it is, tell me and have done with it.

I...I've made 17 bad confessions and 119 bad communions.

You what? How could you?

You're imagining it!

Stop wasting my time with your silly scruples and let's get on with it.

It's not scruples, Father. I've been abusing myself and I haven't confessed it.

Rubbish. What are you talking about? Why?

Because I'm scared, Father.

Scared? Scared of what?

Scared of you, Father.

Scared of me? Why?

Rubbish! How often do these acts occur?

~ Two or three times... ~ Two or three times a week?

You better get ahold of yourself, me lad!

~ A day, Father. ~ A day?

You're wasting my time. You're too old for this sort of nonsense.

I'm going to absolve you now. And don't you be coming in here with such nonsense again!

Scared of me, indeed!

You'll be saying three decades of the Rosary as penance,... and praying to Our Lady to keep you pure. And stop telling me lies!

Say the Act of Contrition now, and be off with you!


Oh, no, I'm soaking wet!

I am sure you all have a great future ahead of you in the religious life.

If you've used the last three days wisely and well... then the retreat should have been of real value to you.

It should have helped you gain confidence in yourself... and strength in your vocation.

But it must not end there, of course.

That's about all. I've enjoyed being with you.

I'd give my right arm to stay longer.

By the way, boys --- if any of you become missionaries... never say that to a cannibal.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Bless us, oh Lord, and these Thy gifts which of Thy bounty we are about to receive. Through Christ our Lord.


~ Yes, Tom? ~ Would it be all right if I drank tonight, Brother?

You haven't shown any improvement at all.

The doctor says it doesn't help.

It makes it worse. It makes me more conscious...

~ We've been through all that. ~ But it's a feast.

~ The others will think I'm stupid if I can't... ~ Offer it up as an extra-special penance, Tom.

~ But, Brother... ~ Off you go now.

Tom! That way.

~ Have a drink, mate. ~ I'd better not.

James isn't looking.

Thanks anyway, Fitz.

I can't. I bloody can't.

Come on, Tom. Have some!

~ Better not. ~ What's the matter? Not allowed!

It's getting crook.

Come on, wrestle. If you beat me, you beat me.

Peter, bloody get off me.

Ah! Come on!

Come on, mate, it's only in fun.

No, you're hurting me.

Why don't you leave me alone?

For God's sake, what do you want, Waite?

Cut the bull and get on with it.

~ You want to? ~ Come on.


~ Come on. ~ You're hurting.

Come on. I'm ready.

~ Come on. ~ Geez, Scraggs.

Come on.

It's all right. Come on, grab me.

Come on. Grab me.

Now squeeze.

Oh, harder.


Hey, what are you doing?

You, too. I've got to do you.

Oh, squeeze!

Harder! How is it?

What now? What else?

Nothing. This is it.

You're kidding! Don't you want to be pulled?



What's that?

You rub it up and down 'til stuff spurts everywhere.

Spurts what?

White stuff.

I don't know. No.

If you do it, do it properly.

~ I've never... ~ For God's sake!

It could be dangerous. I've never...

It's too warped. We'd better stop.

Just what I expected. Can't handle it.

You haven't got a single clue!

You're a miserable prick, Scraggs!

This letter to Miss Cochrane, Tom.

Is she your cousin?

~ No, Brother. ~ Relative of any kind?

No, Brother.

Then what's this: "Love", Tom?

And these kisses?

They always do that, Brother.

It's like starting a letter off with "Dear".

Well...I think you'd better rewrite the last page.

And I think this had better be the last letter.

My, my, my. There's a gloomy face... that matches the day.

Are you miserable, Tom, hey?

Yes, Brother.

We all have our troubles, Tom.

Some a great deal worse than yours.

You must stop worrying about not being perfect.

Nobody can be, so stop worrying about it.

Otherwise, you'll have a nervous breakdown.

If the life here troubles you too much, give it up.

A lifetime's a long time to be unhappy, Tom.

Hang on to life, Tom. It's supposed to be God's gift.

Some gift, if it's just a misery.

Enjoy life, Tom. Make up your own mind about it.

And don't be obsessed about rules and regulations.

Half the rules they make here are unnecessary. And unnatural.

You must do what's right for you.

God Himself said, "Be for Me or against Me,...

"but don't sit on the fence. He that is tepid...

"I shall spew from My mouth." Or words to that effect, anyway.

Help me back to my room, would you, lad?

It's a bit far for old meat.

That's better.

All right, time's up. Hand your papers across to the center.

Come on, hurry up.

~ Tough, hey? ~ Have you heard from the Postulants?

Yeah, it's pretty bad.

What you make of question 7?

Hey, Westy, where's Turner?

~ He's missing. ~ Missing?

Yeah. They reckon he's done the bunk.


Now I'll see if I can endure cold.

I'm going to swim it --- the lake!

The lake. I didn't take any notice. I thought that...

That's good, Tom. Thanks for telling us.

God help him.

He was convinced he could get across the lake.

~ He had some weird ideas that... ~ Thank you, Tom! Thank you!

Yeah, further under, Phil, further under.

Come here, you two, will you?

Come on, hurry up with those blankets!

See if you can find me some long poles over there.

OK, over the top, then back around.

Come on, Jackson, keep moving!

You boys, over there, move right around there, that's right. Keep looking!

Over here!

~ Jesus save us! ~ Bloody hell!

Secret society? New religious order?

That's not all.

Homosexuality. Sadism. Masochism.

Really sick.

How did you find out?

Tom Allen told me. I can believe him.

Gave him a pretty bad time, I'm afraid.

Such a preposterous story!

My God, what have we done?

Rules. Too many bloody rules!

You see, Frank?

~ It can't be true. ~ It's true, Frank!

We questioned everyone, didn't we, Arnold?

It's quite horrifying. The whole thing's got to be changed, and soon!

It's just a few rotten apples, that's all.

Get rid of them, it'll be all right!

~ You'll see. ~ It's ,much more of a problem than that, I'm afraid.

Too many bloody rules!

There's too much protection!

There's too much isolation, they're too introverted.

They know nothing of the world, and they've got no chance of finding out.

Everything out of proportion.

~ Mediaeval. ~ It's worked up 'til now.

Has it?

Well, look at us. There's nothing wrong with us, is there?

Celian handled pretty well. He didn't dwell too much on the past.

He talked a lot about future plans, possible changes.

They all pitched in with suggestions.

Some good ones, too.

Really helped clear the air.

He spoke of the possibility of combining the juniors as part of a normal boarding school.

Yeah, they really liked that idea.

I think they realize it'll take a while.

At least they'll know something's being done.

I must be off. I have to see how the concert preparations are going.

They seem to be doing all right now, judging by the noise.

Take care, my friend.

What's this? For breaking the record for the shortest broad jump:...


~ Have to go on a diet I think, Jack. ~ God bless you.

The 1953 open sprint champion: FitzPatrick.

Won by the grace of a long nose, I'm told. And Brother Victor's keen eyesight.


¤ It's whispered to me that you're wonderful, beautiful, heavenly...

¤ and that you're mine, dear.

¤ I'll take you home again, Kathleen...

¤ across the ocean wide... ¤ It's his favorite.

His best friend dies, so he sings. How damned Irish!

He's happy. He knows, now, so...

He always knew! He could see right through us!

He knew all our weaknesses.

I hated his dotty, doubting senility.

I hated him. But now I know I needed him.

I need him now.

¤ You will sit and watch the moon rise over Claddagh,...

~ ¤ and see the sun go down on Galway Bay. ¤ ~ He loved life. ~ He loved life!

Well, he loved death. He couldn't stand living.

Well, he hasn't much choice now, Frank.

~ So let's remember what he did love: Sebastian! ~ Sebastian!

I hate life. I hate it!

It's evil! Sick! Despicable!

Flesh! The Body! Bunches of rules and discipline!

Control the body! Despise and dominate it with your mind! Hogwash!

The body dominates the mind! Clogs it to the very corners!

The body doesn't lose --- it simply misses out.

The body won't be denied. The body WON'T be denied!

It keeps on fighting with the mind. It loses.

Wins the struggle but loses everything else.

What else do you think of, Vic? Your mind is a cesspool of desire.

And you, Jim? Even you, Arnie, I bet gets you, too.

Sebastian knew! He's lucky --- he's out of it.

We're not --- we're stuck with it.

Give in. That's the only answer. Give in!

Or lose your mind.

I've got a damned good body!

Nobody's looked at it for years, let alone touched it.

The body beautiful.

The body innocent.

It's done nothing. But the has!

It has.

It's sinned. Oh, how it's sinned!

Twisted, cowardly, perverted...disgusting sins.

I hate life. I hate it!

What's the matter? Sing, damn you!

Go on, sing!

Francine's left the order, you know?

I thought he'd just gone to hospital.

He did. He cracked up, apparently.

Not surprised.

He was really warped.

Warped? He was round the bend.

Like you, he had sexual problems.

Oh, funny, Fitz.

But he's had his first woman. If he marries that lot, he'll probably drown somewhere.

~ What'll he do? ~ Teach, I suppose.

Pity the poor kids that get him.

He'll probably be worse than he was here.

He'd have trouble.

Eighteen years he's been a Brother. Be a bit of a shock to him outside.

What a life.

He worries me. I don't know if I can do it.

Could end up a nut like Francine, or a pisspot like Victor.

Victor's all right.

No one could be perfect.

There's no chance of me being perfect, mate.

It's the girls. Can't get them off my mind.

Hannibal, looking out, sees what he would take to be the normal square Roman phalanx.

Just like that, see?

This time, Scipio has made little holes in the phalanx like that.

So, when the elephants attack, and they come across here... they go straight down the center. They take the least line of resistance, see?

Would you favor us with your attention, please, Allen?


Oh. Yes, Brother.

Thank you.

So, in come the elephants...

~ Where's Fitz? ~ He's gone.

Celian called him out of class. Told him to take his pin.

~ Gone? ~ Liquidated. Just...

What'd he do?

Who knows? Probably had a cupboard full of warped magazines.

I can't give you his address, Tom.

It wouldn't be right for you to be in contact with him now.

It could harm your vocation.

He'll have different ideas, now.

Different ways of looking at things.

It could put bad thoughts --- unnecessary thoughts --- into your head.

I know he was your best friend, Tom, but...

well, it's best if you think of him as dead.

You'll pray for him, Tom.

That's the best thing you can do.


Nothing's right. I fuck up everything.

Hey, God --- are You there?

Where are You?

I pray, I ask, I try.

Where are You?

Where's the help?

Come me You're there.

Answer me!

Answer just one prayer, even!

I want help, damn You!

Where you from?


Long way from home.

I was visiting a school friend in Woody.

How old are you?


Bit young for hitchhiking, aren't you?

~ It's more fun than a train. ~ Don't look like you're having much fun to me!

Well, this is as far as I go along my way, son.

Thanks, Mister. Thanks a lot.

Are you running away, Allen?

Get in. Come on, get in.

I don't want to.

Come on, we're going your way.

Hurry up, come on or we'll miss the curtain-raiser.

Couldn't get a lift with a nicer couple of fellows, Tom.

You all right?

Yes, thanks, Brother.

I knew you'd do it.

I said you wouldn't last, didn't I, Jim?

Hey, what do you think of our civvies? Pretty classy, hey?

Think we look human?

Yes, Brother.

Hey, why don't we take him with us?

What, the semi? Yeah!

Want to see the semi-final, Tom?

~ Oh, yeah! ~ Righto, you're on!

Don't worry. We'll ring your folks and run you home afterwards, hey?

How about that? It'll keep Jim off the streets and out of temptation's path, so they say!

Keep you out of the pub! That's the groan!

Oh, no worries!

Tom's dad's good for a couple. He likes a drink, doesn't he, Tom?

I reckon.

~ Like Tom at full forward? ~ We'll give it the gun!

Yeah, righto, what are we wasting our freedom for?

We haven't got as much time out here as he's going to have!

Hang onto your hat, Tom!