The Dilemma (2011) Script


You've got to picture this.

It was freshman year, there he is, completely naked, right outside the office!

And he says, "Ronny told me to show up."

Hey, I have a question for the table.

How long does it take to really know someone?

I think you're continually getting to know someone.

'Cause I think people change when they grow.

But I do think if you go through hell with someone, then you get a pretty good sense of how they handle stuff, which is important.

Come on, we're on the other side of that one.

I don't know.

I think you can know someone within the first 10 seconds of seeing them.

I mean, I fell in love with Geneva the second I saw her.


It's true. I did.

Well, I don't know if you ever really know someone entirely.

And what is that supposed to mean? Yeah.

Well, I mean, you know someone, you think pretty good, and then you find out stuff that's shocking that you didn't know existed.

I think that happens every day.

Look at that show 20/20, it's always the same thing, right?

They're a couple, they're happy, no one could believe it.

There are a lot of these cases.

What about the guy with the crossbow?

He buys a crossbow, he's practicing in the garage.

"By the way, bring me some lemonade.

"Oh, my goodness, I had no idea you walked through at that moment. Oops!"

Continue, please. Continue. That is gross!

But she forgives him. It was an accident, and guess what?

Six months later, same accident. Yes, and it kills her.

No! Yes!


And, look it, you hear all the time about these families that have entirely other families.

The dad, who knows what he does for a living, he leaves to go to Connecticut.

But he was never going to Connecticut on business.

He's really going to Harlem. He's got a Puerto Rican family that no one ever heard about. Yeah.

You think when he's watching the game, instead of pretzels, he's eating Goya beans.

Red flags, but they don't catch it.

So my point is, you can really think you know somebody, and then it turns out that you don't know everything about somebody.

All right, Ronny. You still haven't answered the question.

No, I just did. You didn't.

No, you didn't answer it. You're skirting it.

You're not answering straight up. Come on.

You're bouncing around, you're doing this, "Hey!" When you're doing this...

You do that a lot, by the way.

I think you're all special peoples.

You're out of your mind!

And you're nothing of the sort.

This is our shot. I need you to hug him.

I don't want to hug him.

Look it, ever since he had a near-death experience, he's become a very touchy-feely guy, and he likes to be held.

Look, you know I don't like touching people I don't know very well, okay?

Or even people I do. So just...

Nick, do you want this thing or not?

Of course I do.

Then feed the beast here!

This guy has a hot button, a point of interest. His hot button is hugs.

You hug him, you're gonna crack him wide open!

He's going to start feeling all bubbly inside.

Then he starts writing checks!

All right.

I'm not asking you to go to an airport motel and perform a trick on a Japanese businessman.

I'm asking you to hug a senior executive from General Motors, that's all!

Now get your arms around him, and make him feel bubbly and warm!

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you let Charles take you guys over here and show you the entire line.

And it's great to have you here.

Thank you.


This puppy here reminds me of my first Dodge.


Remember that?

Remember when cars were meant just to be fun things to have, right?

They made a cool noise, they harnessed real power and they made you feel like a badass because you got to be the one right there behind the wheel of it, right?

I'm sorry, I'm Ronny Valentine from B & V Engine Design.

Thomas Fern. Yeah, Thomas, good to see you again.

We actually helped you out with a few ECU modules a few years back.

Of course. Yeah.

Hey, that's... There, my partner, Nick Brannen.


It's gonna be a great year. It really is.

Of course.

Your soul was too important to take.

You've got great days ahead of you, my friend.

You know, we actually have one idea we're not committed to anyone on.

We could run it by your team, and see if it's something that made sense for you.

I'd love that.

Maybe we could get something on the books.

We'll come up there to Rock City, to Detroit, and come see you.

Okay. Yeah.

You lying bastard!

You are unbelievable. Did we get the meeting or not?

I'm hugging this man like I'm some kind of asshole...

Now, why were you hugging the man?

Because he's our guy's direct competitor.

Why would you hug the direct competitor?

Because he had a near-death experience.

Actually, no, he didn't.

That never happened. I made that up.

Shame, shame, shame.

What are you doing? What do you mean, what am I doing?

Did we get the meeting or what?

Come on, Nick.

I'm never hugging again. I'm not listening to you.

He sets me up!

What do you expect me to do? Geneva, listen to me.

You know him, he's way too honest.

If I fill him in on it, what happens?

The sweating, he starts hyperventilating, he passes out!

It was completely necessary.

Nick, my man,

we got the meeting.

I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes, I love your boyfriend.

You, I will hug. This is free. I'll hug you right back!

This is no charge! Come in here! My man!

Don't ever let me go.

They've had a couple of lessons. Yeah!

Okay, let's dance.

Less is more. I'm dancing on the inside.

Are you dancing right now? Yes.

Oh, okay.

Honey, listen, you can never trust a man who dances.

Look at the great men throughout history, none of them were dancers.

Abraham Lincoln? Not a big dancer.

Winston Churchill, he never tore up the dance floor.

Martin Luther King, he might've had a dream, but he never danced to it.

Okay, come on. I'm serious.

Come on, tiny dancer, let's go.

You plant it here right now.

Look, you think they're great, and they're dancing.

I think they're better than great. I think they're the best.

When it comes to being a couple, they're my heroes.

Hey! Come on, why you sitting? Get up, let's do this!

Oh, Nick, you know, Ronny here, he just called you his hero couple, and yet he still refuses to dance with me.

Will you stop? Do not give him ammo.

Ronny just told Beth I'm his hero. I'm your hero!

You're the worst.

Oh, come on. Every kid wants to dance with his hero!

Bring it up here!

Let's do it.


Blue! Set! Hut! Hut!

Go long, baby! Go long!



My man.

That just happened. Oh, yeah.

I don't think I'll ever forget that!

Oh, great. Is that burned in the hard drive now?

Mmm-hmm. I think so.

Excuse me.

Hey, I need to do this.

Let me show you how this is done.

Be my guest.

Come on, pal.

I think you're stuck with me.

So when are you gonna ask her?


Come on, Ronny!

You can see it all over her face!

You're never gonna find a girl as great as her.

Let's be realistic.

Nick and I aren't making any new friends.

You've dated all my girlfriends.

You've batted through the whole lineup, and there's nothing left, you know?

Plus, we like her.

Those other ones, we didn't even like, and they're my friends!

Trust me.

Pop the question or you're gonna lose her.

There you go! Hey, hey!

Special delivery! How's that for an entrance?

You were missed.

I missed you, too.

What? Nothing.

Now I'm gonna turn up the heat.

What happens when the kitchen gets hot, because I'm cooking something up, chef.

Don't play into my strength.


Fifteen to four!

Really? You're gonna start... Now you're dancing?

It's like I'm playing Floyd May weather at Ping-Pong. That's ridiculous.

You're only supposed to do that if the game's over.

If the game's over. I'm just being happy, you know?

No, no, you're not being happy. This is a taunting.

This is, like, taunting that's going on. I'm sorry.

You're not sorry, that's the problem.

I know. You're right.

Okay, here's what we need to do now.

'Cause I think you're very spirited, and I like that.

I think we should turn it into full-body-contact Ping-Pong.

Yes, we do!

Come on, you can't taunt people bigger than you and expect it just to be all fine.


You're attacked. Yes! That's it.

Are you gonna try and steal a kiss now?

Go on, I dare you.

I want to let you know, by the way, that I'm completely committed to this relationship.

I'm just re-upping. I'm already committed, but I'm just re-upping my commitment to this relationship because I feel great.

How do you feel? Do you feel great?


Yeah? Mmm-hmm. I feel great.

But is there a window?

Are you anxious for this to go somewhere?

Ronny, Ronny, I know you.

I know where you're headed with this.

Look, I don't need this to be something that it's not.

I don't want it to be something if it's not, just to make me okay.

But is there a clock that's ticking?

Are you in a hurry to be heading somewhere?

There's always a clock. And I'm worrying, is it ticking, getting to a point where the clock's gonna go off?

Let's just talk through this, okay? Yeah.

I have fun with you. I love being with you.

I think we've done a great job of getting back to a really good place.

I'm happy.

Now, if all of that rolls into something else, that can make me happy, too.

I love you.

Okay, Ronny. You can do this.

This is your time to do it.

You the man, Valentine. You're the man.

Folks, this is our final approach to Detroit's Metro Airport.

Hope this goes well.

Great moments are born from great opportunity.

And that's what you have here today, Nick.

That's what you've earned here today!

One meeting. Okay, what are you doing?

You're giving me the... Really?

The Kurt Russell speech from the movie Miracle?

I just saw that five-year-old kid do it on YouTube the other night, and I thought it was really inspirational.

It's applicable to what we're doing.

Any time you go into a pressure situation, a competition, it makes sense.

And I'm not gonna write something better than that.

Look at you, you're nervous.

You're never nervous. Now, you're nervous.

Okay, here's the thing. I can't be broke if I'm gonna get married.


Yes! See, I knew you would get here!

Okay, so here's my plan.

I'm gonna ask her next month, on her birthday.

Now, I worked out this great deal from this Hasidic guy, who I met during Gamblers Anonymous.

He's literally gonna give me a $20,000 ring for $10,000. Can you believe that?

How are you doing that?

Well, I'm gonna give him cash.

And then I also said that you would help fix his car.

So those two little things are gonna get me the deal with the Hasidic.

Oh, I'm helping? I'm helping fix the car?

Well, you're the one who kept telling me to dive into it.

I thought you'd be excited to help. I'm sorry.

Okay, fine, but that is my gift to you.

Honestly, there'll be no fruit bowl from the registry.

That's it. That's what you're looking at.

You don't have to make a decision now.

On the day, see what's right...

No, I'm making... I can make the decision now. I'm making it now.

I'm telling you right now, that is my gift.

That's it. I'm fixing the car with the Hasidic guy.

And make sure you tell Beth that, too.

Seriously, I don't want it to be uncomfortable. Let her know.

Whatever you wanna do on that day is your choice.

Okay. I'm doing it.

You take this meeting 10 times, you might not get it nine.

All right, you got to stop that now.

But not this meeting, Nick.

Not today.

You're really making me nervous.

Today, we are the greatest small business in the world.

I'm sick and tired of hearing about how innovative these other boutiques are.

This is our time. Their time is done!

We're showing up in a cab.

Thanks for not mentioning that my last three prototype bids got rejected.

That's just a bad streak, pal.

You're gonna be great, I promise you.

Here you go.

Ladies and gentlemen, electric cars, they're totally gay.

It's true.

I don't mean that they're "homosexual" gay, but I do mean "your parents were the chaperone at the dance" gay. Right?

"You tuck it in and wear it real high" gay.

I don't wanna disrespect anybody, 'cause I'm not about that.

But I think we're understanding what we're trying to talk about here, right?

I mean, honestly, the Nissan Spit? Really?

It screams this.

Oh, here we go.

The Hyundai Pomegranate. Right?

The Chevy Fingerprint.

Now, ah, look at this.

The 1966 Ford GT350.

You wanna roll up in that one, hoss?

The 1965 Pontiac GTO.

Completely awesome.

The 1970 Hemi Cuda took more virginities than Francis Albert Sinatra.

What are we suggesting here?

We're talking about taking the benefits of electric transportation, but combine them with the rock and roll-ness and the sexiness that the Dodge current muscle-car models have.


We believe we could produce the technology to incorporate an electronic motor in your current models.

But with the aggressive sound character, the exhilarating vibration character, the complete visceral experience that we've all grown to know and love in the Dodge Challenger and Charger lines.

Guys, we love our current electric models.

That said, we also agree there's a market for what you're pitching.

But, if you're asking Dodge to invest in your pursuit of this concept, what do you have that we don't?

Nick Brannen.

So let's forget the up-front money.

Let's deal with it in success because that's exactly what we're gonna have.

I want 900,000, you want 400,000.

We don't need to get a Chinese auction where I go, "850." You go, "450," right?

"Eight." "Five."

Let's just cut it right down the middle at 775, and close this thing.

I appreciate your spirit, Mr. Valentine.

But we're taking all the risk, so we'll stick with the 400,000.

And I think you need to focus on the bigger picture, here.

With success and a good working relationship, we're prepared to offer you an overall deal, which means up-front money and an option for an exclusive long-term contract with your company.

And with that deal, you gentlemen won't be disappointed.

You made a great decision today, Tom.

Thank you. Thank you.

You'll be under the supervision of Susan Warner, here.

She's from the outside, but we've had great experience with her.

You know, I was at Ford until about five months ago.

They're still talking about you guys over there.

They said you could whittle down a supplier to less than 15 cents on the dollar just by talking.

And you were like a mad scientist that wouldn't leave the lab for days.

Well, boys, it takes one to know one.

I'm one of you.

I'm a visionary, I'm a maverick, I'm a gun-slinger, just like you.

And this idea of yours, this vision...

I'm inspired by what y'all throwing down.

I got some serious lady wood here.

I want to have sex with your words.

I want to bang your brain!

Oh. I got to go. I'm late for Mommy and Me. I'll call you.

Bye. Okay.

At least she's enthusiastic.

Ronny, I got to tell you, I think I'm starting to have a panic attack.

What if I can't deliver? I mean, we sank every cent we have into this.

We're mortgaged to the hilt, we're borrowing against borrowing.

Okay, listen, just relax.

I think you're taking this all in a little too fast, just a little too soon.

Now, you said it yourself.

We're on the five-yard line, we just got to punch it in.

Twenty-five. What?

I said we were on the 25-yard line.

Nick, are you suggesting that we're not even in the red zone?

Oh, man, what if I can't do it?

Everybody... Just think, Dodge is gonna know, they're gonna laugh at us.

That guy, that security guard, he's just laughing.

Look at him, he's just staring... Hold on.

Look at the security guard, he's looking at me.

Okay, stop. Get it together. Stop looking at me.

Just take a breath for a second.

Don't lose perspective here.

You're only five yards from the red zone.

Now once we get in the red zone, we're a mortal lock.

You're a red-zone guy!

Still 25 yards out, do you understand that?

By the way, I don't care how you spin it, how you want to ice the cake, we're only 75% of the way there, and I'm having trouble breathing now.

You need to relax!

Everything is going to be fine.

I never said we were in the red zone.

So, it's been 10 days since the meeting, and he still hasn't calmed down.

I'm doing my best to keep his head in the game, but he's still a little shaky.

All right, we are going with the opakapaka tonight.

Okay, but we need to educate the servers, please. They know, chef.

They know. No, they don't know!

They're fish-illiterate.

What about you, Ronny?

Also fish-illiterate. I don't know fish.

I'm saying, how are you doing?

How are you coping with all of this?

I'm great, honey.

It's been 16 months and nine days since I made a bet, I'm easy-breezy.

I'm not talking about gambling.

I'm just saying, if you're feeling stressed, or if things start to feel heavy...

Yes, heavy.

...then you can come talk to me.

Honey, if I'm lucky enough to get you alone for five minutes, the last thing I'm going to do is talk.

Is that so? Mmm.

When did you say her birthday was?

Two weeks.

Oh, good, we'll have the new Pacific Calendulas in.

Oh, great. She'll love that.

Yes, we had a hybridizing program this winter.

This is awesome!

Wow. This is what I'm talking about.

See this, right here, this place here is beautiful.

And the music that you're playing, that's really beautiful, too.

People say that music is the highest art form.

It can go the farthest, the fastest, emotionally.

And the smells here are really nice as well. I love all the smells.

What I'm trying to do is get all five senses really coming alive here, really cooking.

Mmm-hmm. Do you have a plug in the garden somewhere?

Somewhere I can plug my iPod dock into.

Anywhere in here? Back here? Oh, see, wait, wait, no.

We don't like the guest touching the plants.

Why? I mean, if you talk to them, they grow.

They like a little affection. I wouldn't pull it out.

I just wanna make sure that you're taking care of all the things on your end.

Because I'm going today. I'm going to have the ring.

So that'll be taken care of.

I trust you'll have a ring.

And I just want to make sure that this is the greatest proposal in the history of the world of all proposals.

All right? That's it.

Let me see if I can track down where that outlet is.

Okay. Get me in here for a team.

Let's go, "Proposal," on three.

Let's have fun with it. Ready? Okay.

One, two, three... Proposal! Proposal!

My man! Get out of here, baby!

Make it good.

I'm counting on you.

Beth, come here.


Come on.

Can we go already? I'm tired of looking at plants.

Damn it!

Mr. Valentine?

Son of a bitch.

Don't do it, Geneva. Jesus.

Oh, God.

What are you doing?

Ah! Those plants are poisonous!


You can expect diarrhea, challenging urination with possible bloody discharge, fever, dry-heaving, painful swelling of the gums and a loss of feeling in the tongue, which will affect speech and give you very bad dreams.

You are banned from these gardens indefinitely.

So you can forget about popping the question here!

"Proposal on three."

We are not teammates.

As far as damages, it's going to run into the thousands.

I just saw my best friend's wife with another man.

I'll send you a check.

It's very red.

Looks really angry.

I didn't think you were allergic to anything. Neither did I.

Huh. What kind of plants were they?

Street plants.

Street plants?

Yeah. It must've happened when I was walking on Clark, because I had to go... These kids lost their ball, and I had to go in the bushes and get their ball.

Why couldn't they get their own ball?

Well, you know how these kids are today, they're so damn lazy.

I mean, with all the gaming, and texting, and Happy Meals.

I mean, childhood obesity is completely out of control.

You know that, Beth.

And these kids were just overly huffing and puffing, and they were sweating.

All right. Well, I don't see why that means they can't go get their own ball.

Well, to their credit, these little porkers were trying, but they couldn't reach the ball.

This little alligator-armed kid was in there doing it, but the little kid, he can't get the ball.

So then I come walking up, and they say, "Hey, can you help me with the ball here?"

So I say, "Okay, I'm running late," but these kids want to play ball, and frankly, I'm a supporter of it.

Now that we're all gonna be on the same damn healthcare, too.

I'm paying for these fat kids.

Boom! I drop to the ground.

So now, I'm reaching in here like this trying to get the ball, see?

But I don't want this branch to hit me here.

Right. I'm doing it. You see what I mean, honey?

And I got to dig in more, under the branch, but hold the branch.

But then my right hand's going here.

See, that's why I got this bitch right here.

Oh. That's a direct contact.

And I get the ball. Now I get it.

I got the ball out, "Okay, here."

Gave the ball back to the kids, then I started to head home. Right?

And then that's when I noticed that my arm was really itching and I thought that it was because I rubbed up against the brush.

Why are you carrying so much cash, Ronny?

Well, I was on my way to the suppliers, before I helped the fat kids with the ball.

But, boy, thank goodness it fell out here. That's great.

Because, could you imagine if it would've fallen out there? Wow.

Yeah, that's a lot of cash.

Well, you know my suppliers deal in cash.

But do you mind if I don't dial into all the details right now?

I'm just starting to really itch, so I'd rather just go and take care of this real quick.

How was your day?

It was okay.

God! Damn it!

Are you all right?

No, honey, to be honest, I'm feeling a little challenged here.


Oh, God!



Heat it up. Is the sub-amp active?

Bring it up.


All right, you guys will process the data?

You got it. All right, let's do this!

Nick, I need to talk to you for a second.

Hey. Did you go to Burnham Bank and sign the loan forms yet?

Not yet, but I wanted to... You need to go.

I signed them two days ago. You need to sign them.

And that woman, Susan from Chrysler, she keeps calling.

She keeps calling me "bro."

How am I going to concentrate with her calling all the time?

I thought you were going to run interference on that.

I will.

Ulcer acting up again?

No, no, no, you know what? This prescribed medical shit right here, chalky shit, it's actually very thirst-quenching.

I can't get enough of it, I really can't. Thank you.

Just give me a second here, would you? All right, boys, let's do it.

Come on, let's awaken the beast here. Come on!

We've got a solid reference measurement this time. Looks good.

The last one was pathetic, you know?

If I can talk to you for one second... Hey, am I working here?

Am I not working here? Do I look like I'm working?

David, jump in there. Fire it up, come on!

All right.

All right, bring it. Bring it up.

Come on!

Stay on it.

There you go.

Finally! Okay, finally, I'm seeing fractional orders here.

This might be it.

All right!

Fourth order, pulling ahead...

Come on, pump that sub right.


It's happening!

Yes! Yes! Yes!


Hold on, hold on, hold on.

The fractional orders are deviating.

No, no. No, they're not. Come on, now.

What have we got? What have we got?

Where we at?

No, no!

Damn it!

We lost the fourth completely.

Maybe a heavier amp, bigger subs.

The second and third were solid until...

Hey, I get it. I suck, okay?

I suck.

Nick... What is it, Ron? What do you want?

I want to talk to you about something that's kind of personal.

Something that doesn't have to do with any of this.

Do you mind just stepping up with me in the office real quick?

You want to go to the office, talk about something personal that doesn't have to do with this?


You know, I'm bleeding inside.

There's blood where it shouldn't be in my body, out of things.

I've thrown up four times in the last two days, which doesn't make any sense, because I haven't eaten in three.

So I don't even know where it's coming from!

Hey, listen, I understand what you're saying...

You're not in the pressure cooker, man! You're not!

When I said I was on the 25-yard line, I'm not.

I'm much further back than that.

We are deep in our own end zone. Right back there, yeah.

And I'm flushed out of the pocket, and the defense is coming for me, and they're big, man! They're fast!

Ah! They're coming! And I turn to you, my lead blocker.

You turn to me, "Hey.

"You want to go upstairs and talk in the office about something personal?"

Just block!

That's what I need you to do, is just block!

And do me a favor, would you sign the damn loan forms?

So I have somebody to fund my failure?

Unless you just want to kiss that long-term contract goodbye.

Unbelievable, huh?

The Bulls? I know, it's ridiculous.

I mean, Rose should've passed to Noah.

He was wide open, completely unguarded.

I know, man, they just can't get it together at all.

Yeah. I mean, if you ask me, Rose doesn't trust Noah.

They're teammates. He doesn't trust he can hit the winning shot.

Sucks, man.

Yeah, because trust really runs deep on a team.

You got to be able to trust your teammate.

Do you think that you have to be able to trust your teammate off the court as well?

Uh... Sure. Let's just say, and I'm talking completely hypothetically here, let's say that Noah finds out that Derek Rose's girl is cheating.

Does he tell him or not?

Because he doesn't want to affect his performance.

Yeah. I mean, he's... No, no.

Yeah, you tell him. No.

It's toxic to keep all that in. You have to tell him.

That's Guy Code. You're talking about your best friend.

You ever hear the expression, "Kill the messenger"? 'Cause, I mean...

Yeah, but I don't think it applies here at all.

I mean, if you don't tell your friend, your best friend, then you're basically banging her, too.

Okay, come on, now. It depends. Is it the playoffs?

Game seven, the championship.


No, then I wouldn't tell him.

Yeah, no way. No.

Don't tell him. Nope. You wait. You wait.

Hey, sis. Just checking in.

Ronny, you never call to just "check in."

You know what happened? I saw this episode of Springer, and I just can't shake what happened on the episode.

This woman found out that her best friend's husband was cheating on her, and she did not tell her friend.

Ronny, why are you telling me this?


I just want to get your take on it. What do you think?

Do you think she should have told her best friend that her husband was cheating?

Of course she should.

But what about the whole "kill the messenger" thing?

You know what I mean? Ronny, she is doing her friend a favor.

It doesn't matter how painful the moment...

Mom, come on! Okay, Ronny, I got to go, I'm sorry.

Okay. Bye-bye.


Nice disguise, Ronny.

Making it a woman on Jerry Springer? Bullshit!

I am not an idiot.


You want to tell me Saul's cheating on me? Just say it!

Diane, listen. I don't think you understand what I'm saying. I'm not saying anything about Saul.

I'm gonna kill him! You don't need to kill anybody.

I really thought I was done with choosing men who were basically Dad.

I mean, who would even sleep with that out-of-work slob?

Okay, Diane, listen to me, you're way overreacting.

How dare you tell me something like this over the phone?

How dare you tell me this at all?

And screw you, Ronny!

You have always been a selfish little asshole.

What? Why am I an asshole?

F- you, Ronny!

Ah, geez.

All right, now, that's a little better. Where's the cross-over?

Yeah, this is nice. This is nice.

Hey, Ronny. What's up?


Can I talk to you for a second?

I was actually gonna run up here for about the rest of the day.

Just one second, please. It's important.

One second.

Come on.


I am so sorry.

I've been thinking too much about myself lately, and I'm throwing tantrums because a car is not loud enough.

So I have eight minutes.

Eight minutes? Yeah.

Yeah, I have a call at 5:00, with Helmut Farber in Berlin.

He's going to give me some pointers on throttle response.

So I have eight uninterrupted minutes to talk about whatever it is you wanted to talk about.


Ronny, you have seven minutes and 48 seconds to just chat.

Open up.

What I wanted to talk to you about...

Yes, Ronny?

...was proposing to Beth.

You didn't propose yet?

Why not?

Well, I wasn't sure that I found the right exact place to do that.

Oh, come on. Ronny, come on, man.

You're just sabotaging yourself, that's what you're doing here.

Don't you understand, once you get into it, it's gonna be fine?

I'm telling you, you found the right...

What the hell is that on your arm?

What is going on?

I had an outbreak.

I broke out in hives everywhere.

And when I piss, it kind of burns, too.

Ronny, Nick, your better halves are here.

Wow, now that is a sexy car.

Whoo! If only it were fuel-efficient.

Hey, sweetheart.

Hey, honey, what are you doing here? Hey, sweetie.

Nice surprise.

I have a special night planned for you guys.

Hi, Nick. Hi, sweetie.

Yeah, but I don't have time for a night, honey. We're way behind.

Well, you're behind because you guys are burning yourselves out.

You got to recharge the engine, get some perspective.

I don't think we have the time for perspective.

I don't know that tonight's a good night for us to go do anything.

I know you don't want to celebrate, because you guys haven't gotten a line yet.

So it's not a celebration.

We're just thinking maybe we could take a breather to set the table for a possible potential celebration sometime in the future. Yeah.

And, listen, I called here to talk to you earlier, and I talked to Felix, and he said things were getting pretty heated today.

I think you guys need a break, you know?

This is not a discussion. We are doing this.

And you, my friend, are going to thank me for this later.

What happened to your face?

That was his second attempt.

Now, here is his third and final attempt to win the round-trip airline tickets anywhere in the United States.

You don't give yourself a nickname.

Good try by our second contestant.

Come on.

I've been trying to take that shot for 10 years, they don't pick me.

They never pick me. I don't know what I got to do.

Our third and final contestant, Jessica Hill from Park Ridge, Illinois.

Tell you one thing, if they did pick me, I'm sticking it in the net.

That's a no-brainer, right there.

You know I was third in scoring at Ball State? Third.

They didn't cut anybody. It was a club team.

Good first attempt for Jessica.

Why you got to take away my accomplishments?

I'm not. No, you are, okay?

I'm a shooter, it's what I am. Just deal with it, all right?

"Sniper." They called me "The Sniper."

I'm just saying, it's not that easy to put in from center ice into that big of a hole. It's not easy.

That's why a few of us can do it. I'm saying I can do it.

You know what... Have you ever done it?

No. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, though.

I'd put it in, believe me.

That was a wide to the right...

It's not a net.

It's a hole that's this big. It doesn't... Yeah, it's a big...

They know what they're doing.

They do statistics to make sure that a certain amount of people miss it.

I mean, I don't know how much you've dealt with athletes.

I can see things differently.

Everything just comes to a blur.

It's like you're locked in maple syrup, and you're moving slow and you see things happening before they do happen.

You guys, I'm gonna go get some beer. Do you want anything?

No, no, babe. I'm good, thanks.

Blackhawks penalty caller number 81...

I'm gonna go help her with the beers. I'm gonna get one.

You guys want anything? I'm good, thanks.

Pretzels, all right? All right. Yeah, pretzels.

Boy, you've been on that all night.


I saw you yesterday.

You saw me where?

At the Botanical Gardens.


I saw it all, Geneva.

The loser with the Dead Milkmen T-shirt.

Kissing him in broad daylight.

Okay, Ronny, I got it.

You got a great guy who's considerate to people, and who cares about you, and you're out running on him.

Don't put this all on me.

How dare you ambush me with what you think you know?

What I think I know? I saw you mauling the guy, Geneva.

Ronny, you don't know shit. You don't know shit.

You do not know what goes on behind the curtains of a marriage.

Like the fact that he hasn't slept with me for over six months.

Don't stand there and start talking nonsense to me.

No, you know what? Are you serious?

How about the fact that every Thursday night after work, Nick goes to Pilsen, to a massage parlor, where he gets wanked by a 19-year-old Vietnamese girl who speaks four words of English! How about that?

I don't believe a word you're saying right now.

Yeah, you're just covering your ass.

Listen to me.

Nick is my very best friend in the entire world. I know.

And I am never, ever, ever going to keep this from him.

Do you understand? So I'm coming to you now, and I'm giving you an opportunity, but you need to deal with this.

But it only happened because my husband wasn't intimate with me! I'm not a marriage counselor.

I don't want to be a marriage counselor!

Let's make it really, really simple then.

Either you tell him, or I will.

I can't.

I will.

No, no. Ronny, no! Yes.

No, Ronny. No. Don't do this now.

Not while this Chrysler thing is going on.

Listen, Nick is not sleeping at night.

His stomach is literally bleeding.

This would destroy him.

You're not going to see this guy anymore?

No! God, no! That was stupid. I know that was stupid.

And it's over. It's over because it never was.

Then why have you been texting him all night?

Have I? Yeah, you have.

Sitting on the BlackBerry, banging people.

Your sister just bought a new dress.

Just like I was saying, Ronny, you don't know shit.

Are you promising me that as soon as this bit is over... Yes!'re gonna tell him, and you're gonna tell him about this guy that you kissed?

Are you promising me that?

I absolutely swear to God, yes.

I'm so disappointed in you, Ronny.


Just pick a date and ask Beth to marry you.

You're making this thing out to be much more than it needs to be.

And now your stress is causing me stress.

That's right, I'm stressing out like crazy. Yeah.

You're right. You're totally right.

Now that you verbalize it, and I hear it, you're completely right, man.

Thank you.

Now I'm a guy causing extra damn stress.

You ever get a massage?


In times like this, when it gets very stressful, do you get a massage?

Have I had a massage? I mean, no, not really. Really, no.

You can only do so much yourself.

You can do things yourself, but when you get a professional to get that, take it out of you and get that stress right out of you, throw it out of you.

Hey, Nick, you know what could be tremendous?

Maybe me and you could go and get a massage together.

I don't mean in the same room or something. I mean at the same place.

Do you know a place we could do that?

Where we could get a massage?

A place that could take us to relax, relax, relax.

Here's what I'm trying to say to you, okay?

Don't let fear sabotage letting yourself be happy.

You guys are great together. You're in love.

And love can be very rewarding and it can be very filling.

Very filling.

Like a warm stew. It honestly is.

Look, if you want ice cream, go in the car and get ice cream.

You don't worry that, "While I'm driving, "hey, I might have some chest pains," and then, "Turns out, heart attack. I'm having a heart attack!"

You veer off, you kill a bunch of seniors and toddlers.

You get your ice cream.

And you know what? 99% of the time, you're gonna end up at the ice cream shop with a big hot fudge sundae. Nuts!

Only one percent of the time do you kill the innocent.

It's pretty good odds.

I'm not understanding what you're trying to say to me.

All right, Ronny.

Tomorrow night is Beth's parents' anniversary party.

Forty years.

I really think you can learn something from it.

I want you to soak it in.

Oh, and, by the way, we did just move into the red zone.

Hey, Felix, the algorithm is solid, so it's got to be the hardware, right?

Yeah, looks like it.

Yeah, well, keep at it.

Okay. I got it, I'm on it.

Do you want to kiss Felix? Come in.

Come here. Don't be shy, baby.

You can join us. Yeah.

Good night, guys.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable.

I'm not a pervert or anything, I'm sorry.

That's too bad.

I'm sorry?

I said, that's too bad.


Hey, I just wanted to call and say thanks for your support today. I really appreciate it.

No problem.

So, what are you doing?

I'm just at home.


Yes, I'm at home.

Yeah? You want to get a beer?

You know what? I can't. Mad Men marathon with Geneva tonight.

You're right, I really... I got to shut down the engine sometimes.

Why you looking in?

No peep Tom. Yes.

You come in or you go! I'm going to go.

Go. No, I have things.

You go. And you go, too.

Who was that? It's a traffic cop.

They've shut down North Avenue.

They're shutting stuff down, there's too many people.

Hold on, this guy is a prick. I'm not even driving!

I'm walking around here, I'm a citizen!

Mr. Mountain High!

Hold on. Hey.

We make you so happy!

When you leave here, you will smile like boy who just got off braces, big and proud!

Boon-me is back in country, and looks very forward to seeing you.

Yeah, look, I got to go.

What was that?

Nothing, there's a war film on before Mad Men.

Listen, I'm going to go. I'll call you.

Buddy, just so you know, if you ever want to talk about anything, just like...

There's nothing we can't talk about.

Yeah, we can always talk.

I thought tonight could be good, 'cause maybe we could get a drink.

All right, I got to run. Boon-me is waiting.

I just... I wanted to call and let you know that I've been thinking about what you were saying with the curtain and all that stuff.

And I just want to make sure that I'm being fair to you during this, and that I do realize that there's probably two sides to every story.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Ronny, you followed him to the massage parlor?

Well, no, I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm sure that not everything that you're saying is bullshit.

And that if there is complicated things that are going on, I really hope you guys work on it.

And just so you know, I really don't want to be in this, Geneva.

I know.

It's your shot, come on!

Wait, who was that? Where are you?

I'm at home.

Except it's your shot, Geneva, and you don't own a fucking pool table!

Ronny, I got to go.

What happened to, "I'm not gonna see this guy anymore until after I talk to Nick"?

Good night, Ronny.

Yeah, good night, princess. Just make sure you're ready to talk to your husband when you go home tonight, honey.

Because I'm definitely going to talk to him!

Okay, just take a breath.

Besides, I have something you might want to hear before you go and do that.

What is it?

I ordered you some coffee.

I don't need your goddamn coffee, Geneva, I don't have anything to talk to you about.

I'm gonna go see Nick tonight, and I'm going to tell him that his wife is sick and twisted, and that she's a liar.

And I'm going to tell him that he's married to goddamn Helen Keller.

Helen Keller? Yeah.

The girl with all the personalities.


Yeah, Sybil.

Who are you today, Blanche? How deep do the waters run?

You're a five-year-old on a playground, Ronald.

It's not like I want to go and see Zip.

But when my husband calls me to explain he has another late meeting, it kind of just flies out the window.

"Zip"? That's the guy's name, Zip?

The point is, Ronny, I don't want any of this.

I love my husband.

You got a real funny way of showing that.

Stay out of my life.

You're not a therapist.

In fact, you need one, desperately.

Look in the mirror. You're 40 years old, you've never been married.

Go fix yourself and then you can call me.

I don't need to call you, I don't need to say anything to you anymore.

All I need to do is get out of here and go tell Nick that his wife is cheating.

And I guess, because you weren't able to do the things that you really said you needed to do that that's just the way it's going to have to go down, honey.

You know what? I see it going down just a little bit differently.

Really? Yeah.

Because I'm going to deny it.

And then I'm going to say you made a pass at me.

I made a pass at you? Yep.

And considering our little secret, I'm pretty sure he'll believe me.

Geneva, okay...

We both decided not to say anything because you liked him, and we didn't want to ruin something good over a drunken college night that happened three months before you two ever started dating.

But, Ronny, he doesn't know that.

It didn't mean anything, Geneva.

Yeah? Well, it means something now, doesn't it?

See, you need to understand how this is going to play out, Ronny.

I'm going tell him how we slept together all those years ago, and then I'm going to say that you started making passes at me.

And that they never stopped.

You do that.

You sell him that I've been hitting on you for 20 years straight.

I should've told you, Nick, I should've told you sooner.

But Ronny insisted that we not say anything.

But as the years went on, it got harder and harder and I just lied to myself and said it didn't matter.

But I'm telling you this now because Ronny has gone crazy!

He's been throwing me up against restaurant walls right when you're right around the corner.

It's like he wants you to see, he wants to get caught because he feels so guilty.

But I don't feel safe anymore, Nick!


And this had to come out.

Then what are you going to do, Ronny?

Mr. Moral Guy.

Are you going to look your best friend in the eyes, and lie to him and say, "No, that never happened. I never slept with her"?

I don't think so.

Stay out of my marriage.

Now if you'll excuse me.

Good night, Sybil.

I don't even know if you're there, God.

I haven't really tried to ring you up ever since I asked for those parlays when things were tough.

And I know you didn't help me with those for my own good because I had stuff I had to learn, but...

I don't want to learn any lessons on this one.

I really don't want to lose my best friend.

I know I'm supposed to give you things, but I'm scared to give you this.

If you are listening, and if you want to help us with the whole Chrysler thing, that would be really great, too.

If that could go our way, that would be really great.

If you're listening, that's it.


Can I speak to Beth Dalton?

She's not here right now. May I take a message?

Thanks, but no.


Good morning.

You've reached the Kearny Group. How may I help you?

The Nikon D5000.

Ten-million effective pixels, 2.7 pixel density.

Does it work from far away?

Definitely. Are you gonna be shooting birds?

Yes. What kind?

Unfaithful ones.


Hey, it's me. I need to see you, it's important.

Who is this?

Susan Warner. The consultant for Dodge.

Oh, yes, of course, Susan.

I'm sorry, I thought we were in "it's me" territory in our relationship.

No, we are, we absolutely are. What's up?

Get your ass to Marino Chrysler right now.

I don't want to do this over the phone.

There are powers at work here.

But this is it, this is the end game.

This is what it's about. It's about your engine in that car.

The sound of your engine in that car, the vibration of your engine in this car.

Susan, I get it. Just tell me what exactly the hiccup is.

Thomas loved your idea, but he doesn't want to only depend on B & V to execute it.

So he threw the bid to United Design.

That's bullshit! He can't throw our bid to United Design!

That's our idea!


They're worried about Nick. "Can he finish? Can he handle this?"

That's nuts. That's crazy, 'cause Nick Brannen will bring the thing home.

He's next-level genius.

Yeah! You preaching to the choir, here.

That's why I'm telling you this.

I'm on your side. I'm your Deep Throat.

Well, I appreciate it.

Did you ever see that movie?

All the President's Men?

No, Deep Throat.

Uh-uh. Oh.

It's pretty amazing.

Okay, Susan, I'm sorry, but can you just tell me, when is United Design supposed to present?

In three days.


I didn't make the deadline, but we have to hit it.

Listen, Felix, just get Nick for me?

Nick is sleeping in the '68 Charger.

Do you want me to wake him?

No, just tell him when he wakes up.


I got that information that you wanted right here.

The Kearny Group is a Las Vegas-based private equity group that brings well-known restaurants to Vegas. Uh-huh.

They did Rao's, II Mulino, and Le Cirque.

All right, thanks, Felix. I got to run.


Hey, Ronny, where are you?

I'm doing all different kinds of things now, with all the nice people, thank you.

All right, listen, I just got your message.

Three days? I don't think I can do it.

I thought we were on the 10-yard line, but I think the refs might be reviewing the call.

You're going to have to make the plays now, Nick.

Why do you sound like you're on medication?

You're great at what you do. You're a very sweet man. Okay.

All right, man, you're up. Let's do it!

All right, you better stick it, dude!

Watch this, man!

There they are. Happy anniversary, guys.

Happy anniversary!

Hey! There they are!

Hiya, Dad! Hi, baby!

It's so great to see you.

How was the trip, okay? Wonderful, terrific.

Hey, Mom!

You look ravishing!

Where's Ronny?


He'll be here in a minute. Just a little tied up at work.

Okay, good.

Hey, what did I say? Come on, get out of here.

Nah, I'm not gonna be nice anymore.

You're bringing down my property value. You need to go.

I told you twice already.

I don't want to see you in front of my place.

Whatever, man.

Get out of here.

Hi, Sepia, on Jefferson.

Did you get a good show? Where are you going?

Where are you going?

You're not going anywhere!

You broke into the wrong house, boy.

You came to party? You're going to get something now!

Get away from me, you son of a bitch!

You want to party? Come on, I got all the party you want, baby!

I just took an OxyContin 20 minutes ago.

I won't feel a thing. Come on.

Let's get jacked up!

Come on!

Yeah, let's get jacked up, daddy!

Do you know how much that guitar cost?

My fish!

You son of a bitch!

You think you're safe in there? Huh?

We'll see how safe you are in there, boy!

Oh, yeah!

Yeah, that's right! You hear me?

I'm going to chew my way right up your ass, boy!

Yeah! You got nowhere to go!

Oh, yeah!


I'm going to burn that face!

What are you doing?

I'm going to burn your face, boy!

What, are you crazy? Stop!

Give me that stupid-looking face! What's wrong?

I thought you were on Oxy? I'm going to burn it!

You better run, you son of a bitch!

Where are you at?

Where are you at, crazy? Where are you at?

Come on, show me!

Oh, you better run, punk!

You better goddamn run tonight!

I know where you live, man!

I want that to register.

Put that in your tattooed mind!

I know where you live!

Because I'm going to come back here and I will burn that face, daddy!

Oh, I can't wait for my chance.

I can't wait till I get you, just lined up perfect and I get to burn that little face!

Because I'm a problem!

Now you deal with that!

Whoa! Crazy's here, baby!

This is a collector's item!

What do you want to do? You're going to burn my face?

You're going to burn my face? Yeah?

No! No!

Who are you?

Oh, you're not going to tell me?

Who are you?

I'm her husband's best friend!

You son of a bitch!

Oh, shit. Yeah.

All right, man. Why didn't you just say that?

That's right, you son of a bitch, I'm her husband's best friend!

Hold on a second, calm down. Okay, okay.

You're going to use a little bat on me?

You think that bat's going to help you with me?

You could've just said... No, no, no!

You're being childish. Just stop.

Turn over! Just turn over.

Hey! Hey! Stop.

Stop, stop.

Do it!

Do it, you scumbag. Hit me in the head!

You better end this today, because I'm going to come back for you.

You understand me? There's no coming back.

No, I'm going to end this right now!

My friend Nick is 10 times the man you'll ever be.

You're not anything.

You're garbage.

Come on, I'm not... I didn't even... That's...

It takes two, and you know that!

Yeah, it takes two.

Not three, prick.

What, are you sniveling? What?

Are you crying?


No, it's the Oxy, and it's making me...

Come here! Get up! Come here!

Get up. You get up right now. You get out of here!

Get out of here!

I'm not playing with you!

I'm not playing.

I can just take the sweater.


Ronny, jeez! You look like hell!

The sweater's good, though, right? Hey! Hi.

Hey, I know I'm late. I'm hoping I'm still fashionable.

What happened to your face?

Just a bar fight.

Just a bar fight. Some bikers...

Bar fight, Ronny? Really?


I was at the Zip Bar and Grill, actually.

Real dirt bag joint.

Do not go there. Take it off the GPS.

Let's do this. Where's the fam?

You know what? I got to talk to you for a second. Come here.

Should I see the family?


What is all this?

Come over here. Look, obviously, something's going on with you.

And I want you to know that if you need me, for anything at all...

Screw the project, screw the deadline.

I'm there for you, all right?


Whoa! You look like shit. Thank you.

Anyway, thank you.

I pressed Saul and he totally caved, admitted he was cheating.

Now we're going to work on it, for the kids.

It might be futile, but you got to at least try, right?

And all those times he was saying, "I'm going bowling."

Yeah, he wasn't bowling.

He wasn't even bowling at all.

Ronny? What the...


Get a good feel, buddy?


You remember my cousin James, and his boyfriend Juan?

Let me finish.

Because families like to touch and hang out, and that's what we're doing.

I'm just roughing it up with my guy!

Come on, I had him! I had him, Juan!

Nice to meet you, buddy! My guy, good to see you, babe!

And my parents.


Yeah, Burt and Sue.

It's impressive, 40 years, it's quite an accomplishment.

Is the flame still burning after 40?

Still there.

Of course it is, of course it is.

With you, there's no question. My man.

Let's go celebrate. Let's do this.

I'm just playing the fun part, doing the things I do.

Great to see you!

Breath against breath, breathe me life.

Thousand and thousand kisses, give me, I beg you.

Love wants everything without condition.

Love has no law.

Mom and Dad, your love has no law.

So beautiful.

I'd like to make the toast.

Forty years.

That is a long time to be with someone. Forty years, wow!

It's impressive.

I personally don't know a lot about marriage, but I would imagine it can't be easy, all those 40 years being with someone.

Because people are not perfect.

People make mistakes in life.

But I would assume what would get you through those 40 years would be...


Honesty and honesty alone.

And love.

But even more than that, Burt, is the honesty.

Don't forget about patience.

Oh, no one's going to forget about patience, Sue.

You can relax, patience is on the table.

What I'm talking about, though, is honesty here.

Talking about two people who have probably had an eye wander every now and then.

Everyone knows Burt was in the garment business.

If you don't think you meet a lot of girls in that business, then you don't get out of the house much.

A lot of girls.

A lot.

Good-looking guy, well-spoken.

It's "pinch me, I'm dreaming time," am I right, ladies?

And look at Sue. Gorgeous lady, easy to be around.

Always into the aerobics.

Kept it tight, in a great way.

And Burt did well, they have a pool. Pool guy come over.

Lot of guys would come over to the house. Young guys, too.

Now let's say something did happen.

We don't know that it did, maybe it didn't.

But it's not up to us to know, it's up to them to know.

I bet they were honest with each other.

I bet she came to him and said, "Hey, Burt, "you know you're my number one.

"But maybe Mama got thirsty last night."

What I'm going to focus on, though, here is the ingredient that I think really makes the whole stew stick together, and that is honesty.

And similar interests!

Who are you?

I'm Cousin Betty.



Okay, Cousin Betty, this is not a group toast nor is it an open forum.

I'm the one who's standing up here.

I'm the one with the glass, I'm the one that is talking.

Now, Burt and Sue chime in and that's fine because it's their night, you know, 40 years and all of that.

But not you.

Nobody gave you a speaking part, nobody cares.

You're a second cousin, which isn't even a real relative because someone could have sex with a second cousin and the kid could still be normal.


You cannot run from it.

And believe me,

it'll find you.

The truth will always find you.

Burt and Sue.

Forty years, being honest.

Burt and Sue.


Can I speak to you in the kitchen?

I was just going to finish my... Please?

Sure. Okay.

I need to know what's going on.


I'm just toasting, and I'm passionate about honesty.

I'm not talking about the inappropriate toast that you just gave at my parents' anniversary, or the bar fight, or the allergies that you caught from street plants while chasing fat kids.

I'm talking about what's going on in your head that's causing these things.

It's just some stuff that I have to fix.

That's it, honey. And I can't bring you in on it because that would directly affect my ability to do that.

To do what? To fix it!

Fix it, fix it!

I have to fix it on my own, honey.

Okay, Ronny, you're not fixing anything and you're breaking more stuff.

And it's enough!

You just gave a whole speech about honesty, it's time for you to be honest with me!

Is it? Yeah.

Is it honest time now, between us?

Then why don't you start, Beth?

Why don't you tell me about the Kearny Group?

How do you know about the Kearny Group?

Are you going to Las Vegas?

Are you planning on leaving me?

God, Ronny, no! No!

They asked me to open up a restaurant in City Center, and I said no.


Because that would mean I'd have to go live in Las Vegas for a couple of years.


And what, Beth?

And I don't trust you in Las Vegas.



Look at you.

Your sponsor called me.

You haven't been going to your meetings, you're walking around with large amounts of cash, and it just really feels like two years ago.

You know, I...

I can't get into this with you right now.

If you don't let me in, how do I know what to do?

How can I help you?

I think it's best if I go.

I don't want you to go.

I'm going to go sleep at the office tonight.

You want to do this?

What are you doing?

Watching you sleep.

It's creepy, right?

Felix, go play with the hot tub and the ladies on the line, honestly.

I'm just getting up, it's too much. You're too much.

Please, give me a minute, I don't know where I'm at.

Oh, God. Hey, man. What's going on?

Come on in the house.

What, are you going to shoot me right here on your porch in broad daylight?

Are you out of your mind?

No, not if you're in the house.

I've googled this.

Do you want to know how it works? Yeah?

You come inside and I defend myself.

Now, I'm not going to pump six bullets into you.

No, that would make me look crazy and out of control.

No, I'm going to pump three into you like a calm gun-owner would.

Zip, I came here with the intent, and only the intent, of getting my camera back.

Oh, yeah. Your camera?

Come on inside.

If you just want your camera, it's right here.

Listen to me.

I can really appreciate the fact that things got completely nuts the other night.

And I can also appreciate that a lot of your property...

I appreciate the fact that a lot of your property got damaged as well.

You killed my fish.

You killed my fish, man. I know.

Why would you do that?

Maybe you should be compensated for that.

You should be compensated for that.

I can't put a price on that, because that's a friend.

Although you can't pet it, but what would the fish do?

The fish doesn't want this, man.

I think what the fish is saying is maybe I should get my camera back.

And maybe, just maybe, and I'm just hoping against hope here, maybe we can put this whole thing behind us.




I have a thousand. I'll give you the thousand.

And an apology.

Zip, if I apologize to you when you have a gun pointed at my throat, then I don't think it really counts.

That's a good point.

I'm sorry for what happened.

I need to feel it.

I just need it to really come from right there.

Look, man, I'm sorry, all right?

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

I'm really, really sorry that we're standing here in this situation.

I'm sorry.

Okay., eight, nine, 10.

And the $400 I owe for the old person's home. Perfect.

You did this to me.

You know that.

I don't mess with firearms. I don't do that.

I don't do that. Look, I'm a sensitive guy.

You know what I'm saying to you?


Thank you.

Drive safe.

Who the hell are you?

You got no choice now.

You got to go right up to him and just say it to him.

It's not that complicated of a thing to do. It's easy.

You got the pictures, she can't bullshit you, and that's the end of it.

Come here. Get in here, I love you.

Stop it, you will find somebody else.

You're a great guy, and I love you.

Just keep walking.



We were just about to call you, actually.

We were hoping to be a little better prepared, but I guess we can start?

Ronny, why don't you come join us?

Who are you?

My name is Dr. Rosenstone.

Your family and friends are here because they love you, Ronald.

And they can't stand to see you destroy yourself anymore.

What is this, an intervention?


We don't see the need for labels.

This is just a bunch of friends talking to one friend and letting them know they love them.

An intervention.

Your sister and her husband would like to start.

I tormented you, I know.

Diane, please don't do this.

I dressed you up like a little girl, but I'm here to support you.

Ronny, I am!

Okay, okay. It's not what you think.

I don't know how the hell you found out, but I'll kill you if you ever do that to me again.


Why don't we all come in and sit down?

Come on.

Let Ronny sit down.

We got a big blue chair waiting for Ronny.

Come on, sweetheart, sit down. It'll be okay.

Well, it's no coincidence that we find ourselves here in a gentle circle of support.


Oh, shit, am I late?

I'm sorry. I know it's probably really bad form to be late to an intervention.

Hi, I'm Beth.

Hi, Beth. What's going on?

Hey, big guy.

Who the hell invited him?

You know what? I invited him.

You did? You invited him?

Yeah. You know what? I followed you to his place earlier today.

I saw you pay him.

And after you left, I went up and talked to him.

It says right here, "If possible, it's best to have all enablers present, "even bookies."

So I agreed to pay your debt if he agreed to come here tonight, and he did.

Thanks, man. I appreciate this.

It was really nice of you. No problem.

You got to be kidding me.

He's not my bookie, Nick.

Oh, come on, Ronny.

Admit it, man. You bet on everything.

How dare you show up here! You have no right being here!

He's a scumbag, an enabler, a mistake!

Stop it! I asked him to come here!

Come on, don't kill the messenger.

I'm just here to help. I'm helping.

Okay? That's what I'm doing.

Look, he bets on the Bulls, and the Sox, the Cubs.

He bet on the Hawaii game.

Only degenerates bet on the Hawaii game.

I don't want that for you, man.

I should have done this a long time ago.

I think you need to take a look at this.

What is... You got to look, there's more pictures.

You got to flip through that one, get to the other pictures.

I did. I'm flipping right now.

I keep flipping, and it keeps going back to the same pic because there's only one picture in the catalogue.

You can't take a picture of something that didn't happen, Ronald.


Not again.

Ronny, calm down!

Stop it! You're going to kill him!

You're going to kill your bookie!

He's not my damn bookie!

There's something wrong with you!

You son of a bitch!

What is wrong with you?

You're completely out of control!

You're crazy!

You're completely out of your mind!

Don't get me wrong, I'd like to party with you and get high with you, but you're insane!

I think we're missing the point of this gathering.

It's about talking and sharing our concerns.

This is ridiculous.

Then let me go, okay? Because I have something to say.

Take a seat. Please, everybody, sit.

Beth, please. Just sit down.

Look, here's the thing...

Please, just let me... Please, okay?

All right.

Ah, man, that was...

All right, I got something to say.

This is important to me, so...

Okay, Nick...

All right, please. Please?

I didn't have many friends when I got to Ball State.

I was shy and...

You already know this.

But, Ronny, what you don't know is when you moved in across the hall, in second semester, I made it a goal of mine to become friends with you.

I mean, you were funny and charming, and everybody liked him, everybody.

Okay, Nick, enough.

You got to let me talk here for a second.

I want you to listen to me.

Nick, you're my best friend.

You always make me do better.

You always make sure I don't screw up.

And you make it that I never forget what really matters in life.

When I had my relapse two years ago, it wasn't all the money and stuff that I lost that made me feel bad.

It was the fact that I let you down.

This is good.

This is catharsis.

I know.

You know I never had a brother growing up, right?

And my dad wasn't around very much.

And all my friends growing up were, really, criminals.

So when I met you in school, I was...

Let's just say that I looked up to you as well, in college.

And I really have looked up to you ever since.

So, there's something that you should know.

There's something that I already should have told you, Nick.

What is it?

Geneva's been running on you with the guy that you thought was my bookie.

Jesus Christ, Ronny!

You thought that you saw an exchange, right?

That it was a gambling exchange, but it wasn't a gambling exchange.

Really, I was just going to get my camera, because there were pictures and stuff on it.

The truth is, I'm not gambling.

I haven't been doing any gambling at all.

What's been going on with me is I've really been trying to figure out what's the best way to tell you and how to handle this thing.

Is this true?

No! It's not true.

He's lying!

He's compulsive, he's a gambler.

He'll say anything, he's desperate!

Go ahead, Geneva, tell him the truth.

Everyone is sitting here, listening.

Okay, fine, fine!


The thing is, that...

Okay, fine.

What did you expect?

You were getting happy endings in Pilsen.


No! No, Nick, listen.

You left me alone. I wanted to be with you, but...

Can we not get into this right now?

No, but that's the problem!

You never want to talk about anything, ever!

I know that it's been tough with us for a while now, and I take my part in that.

But isn't there something about us you still believe in?

How long did you know?

I've known for a few days, a week. For way too long.

I don't know what to say. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now.

Honestly, I don't know!

I do know this, you should have told me sooner, Ronny.

Before right now.

Before standing here in front of your friends and your family, and Doctor...

Rose... I know it starts with "Rose." Rosenstone.

...stone. Buddy, I know.

I'm really sorry. I tried to tell you in the office.

What do you mean trying? Trying is not telling, Ronny!

Come on. Look, I can appreciate how hard this must have been on you, I know.

I'm just really glad that you say that you can appreciate how hard it was because you don't even know.

I've been fighting with these people, trying to keep everything straight in my head.

I get it.

But in the nature of what's going on here, there's one more small thing that I just want to bring closure to now in the circle of gentleness.

Ronny, you don't have to.

Yes, I do, Geneva.

Because Nick is my best friend.

And this is what best friends do.

They tell the truth to each other.

Okay. When we were in college, and this is way before you guys ever met, there was a night that didn't mean anything. It was a meaningless night.

It was a booze night.

It was big, big bar night.

Ronny, get to the point.

The point is, way before you guys ever met, before you ever even knew each other, I kind of slept with Geneva.

You what?

This is what friends do, they tell the truth.

I'm a friend and I'm telling the truth, buddy. Here I am.

He wanted to tell you, Nick.

But I was falling in love with you.

We didn't want to hurt you.

You asshole! Hold on, hold on.

I'm telling the truth, I'm in a circle.

No, you know what? You're the worst.

Buddy, I'm sorry, okay? Listen...

Get your hands off me. Don't touch me!

Let me tell you something.

That's probably the most honest thing you've ever said to me.

Nick... You're sorry.

You're so sorry.


I'm sorry, Ronny.

I'm sorry.

I should never have put you in that position.

Beth, I am so sorry that I caused tension between you two.

I'm sorry.

This has been a marvelous first step.

I'm sorry?

This has been a revelation for you, I can tell.

I'm okay, buddy. Thank you. You've done a lot here today.

I didn't gamble.

I walked by the casino once or twice, but I didn't gamble.

Are you okay?

It's been a long day.

I didn't know if you had eaten or not, so, if you're hungry...

I don't know how to start this.

I got scared.

And I'm sorry, because I didn't feel safe.

So then, I didn't tell you about Las Vegas and the Kearny Group.

And then, here I am, being someone that I don't want to be.

I mean, I staged this whole ridiculous intervention thing and you weren't even gambling!

And that's great, by the way.

I'm so happy that you weren't gambling.

But this is no good.

It's not healthy.

The problem is, if you don't share stuff with me, like the fact that you were with Geneva, it keeps me in the dark.

And that belittles us.

I want us to be more than that.

I understand.

I just didn't feel right in saying something to you if I wasn't saying it to Nick.

And then, when I found out about the Vegas deal and that you didn't trust me enough to share that with me, then that really hurt.

But I guess I've earned that.

And it's up to me to un-earn that.

I don't ever want to put you through anything like this ever again.

Because honestly, honey, I do love you.

I love you, too.


I understand.

You've got a Chrysler meeting tomorrow, don't you?

I don't even know if Nick is going to show up.

You weren't a terrible friend, Ronny.

I mean, you sucked at the way you handled things,

but you cared.


Ronny Valentine, the other half of the team.

I'll let the gang know, tell them you're both here.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

How are you doing?

Well, I moved out.

How are you feeling?

Shaky on how everything went down.

The truth is, I was just hanging on to something that wasn't there.

It wasn't fair to her.

I'm sorry, buddy.

I'm sorry you're going through this, Nick.

Listen, I feel terrible about the whole situation.

And I've been sick to my stomach for the last 24 hours, man.

I've been doing a lot of soul-searching and thinking about what friendship really means.

And the thing of it is...

There it is.

Okay, good. That's good.

Nick, I feel terrible about this whole thing, all right?

And if that makes you feel better, for me, honestly, I just want to get past this thing, okay?

So, if you want to hit me again...


Oh, my God.

Is everything all right?


We're ready for you.

We'll be just one sec. We're ready, we'll come right in.

Well, we'll be in the presentation area.

I know where it is, I'll be right there.

Good grief.

We're really looking forward to this opportunity.

You handled this whole thing like shit.

I'm sorry, Nick.

I really am.

I know I didn't date a lot, so when Geneva and I were serious, you didn't want to hurt me, and it was before we ever got together.

Now I'm not saying it was easy, the spot you were in, because it wasn't.

But in the future, no matter how uncomfortable things are, if it affects us, you got to tell me.

Do you got it?

I promise you, Nick.

I got it.


All right, there you go.

I'm good.

Excuse me, Mr. Valentine, given what we just saw in the waiting room, I think we need to...

Oh, that? We're like kids in a car too long on a road trip.

We're fine, we're just working.

The moment of truth has finally arrived.

Now I know that the journey getting here has had some turbulence and some confusion.

But I ask you for one second, when folks were reaching for greatness, was that not the case?

I remember a group of people who wanted to head west with dreams of gold and opportunity.

The Donner Party.

The Donner Pass.

Things got a little weird out on the trail, didn't it?

Some cannibalism, folks got hungry.

Some feelings hurt, some families destroyed, but some people made it out west.

Not all of them.

And it's not that they necessarily got rich.

But the point is, we've headed out west, and this is our destination.

Nick, start your engine.

You son of a bitch.

I told you the difference was Nick Brannen, and we have Nick Brannen.

Simply the best.

You can feel it.

Better than all the rest.

You were right about these lunatics, Susan.

Commit to the long-term deal and cut them a check.

And that's why I love you guys!

That's why I love you!

That's why my lady wood is still strong!

See, I get it. They don't get it.

They don't get it, but I do.

See, all that fighting and shit, that's just passion!

When you work that close, you just want to choke the hell out of somebody, right?

Yeah. See, I understand that.

I relate. But, listen.

That motor...

That motor in that car...

I mean, when it started vibrating... I'm sorry?

If I was sitting on the hood of that car... Okay.

...and the way it was just vibrating...

I understand, and I got to be really honest with you.

When I first met you, your phraseology with "lady wood,"

I didn't know whether you were coming or going.

But I've really grown to love you.

Yes! Yes! Come on! Come on!

Damn it!

He can do this, he just has to stay calm.

Nick Brannen, that was your second shot.

But if you score on your third and final attempt, you can still win a trip for two to the NHL All-Star Game in Carolina.

Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.

Okay, good luck.

Dude, seats are taken.

It's between periods.

I've got food here!

What are you, a hall monitor?

I'm not touching your food! I know the guy!


Great moments are born from great opportunities.

That's what you have here tonight, Nick.

That's what you've earned here tonight!

One shot.

You take it 10 times, you might miss nine.

But not this shot, Nick.

Not tonight.

Come on, big guy. Come on, baby.



Congratulations to Nick Brannen who's won a trip for two to the NHL All-Star Game in Carolina.

Yes, you did! Yes, you did!


They can never take it away from you!


Yes, buddy! Yeah, Ronny!

I knew you'd do it! I told you I would do it!