The Family (2013) Script

Who's that?

How should I know?


Hello? Hello?


The only real question we should ask ourselves during our existence is how much is a man's life worth?

Knowing what you're worth is like knowing what day you're gonna die.

Me? I'm worth $20 million, and I'd hand over every last dollar to get my old life back.

Sweetie? Wake up, we're here.

Fuck. It's about time. Warren. Language.

Mom, we've been on the road 11 hours and it smells like a skunk's butt-crack back here.

That's no reason to talk like a punk.

It's the dog. Yeah. No kidding it's the dog.

If you washed him once in a while like I asked you to, we wouldn't have this problem.

Yeah, yeah. We're looking for number ten.

Next, on the left. There are no numbers.

No, I know. Stansfield said that. That's it, yeah.

No, no, the left, and then..

That's it up there. Right.

Over here.


That's it.

No electricity?

No, there is, but they must have turned the power off.

Mom, what are you doing? Scaring the rats away.

There are rats here? Who knows? You never know.

I'm not staying here if there are rats. Belle, don't start, please.

Anyway, your father can't stand them. Give him 24 hours, he'll have killed every single rodent in the place.


Belle, you're upstairs on the right. Warren, opposite your sister.

It's cold here. Well, I'll make a fire.


Idiots forgot the TV again.

Tomorrow, they said. "Tomorrow," that's their favorite word.

Hey, you two, don't chew me out whenever anything is missing.

Go see, talk to them yourselves.

Does anybody know what this place is called?

Cholong-sur-Avre, Normandy.

The Avre part is a river.

Besides our boys landing here in '44, what's Normandy famous for?

Camembert. Calvados.


The Riviera had both those things, and sunshine.

Yeah, so did Paris.

Yeah, right. But here is where we live now, where they make the cheese, and that's it, so get used to the real world.


There you are. Good dog.

Hey, hon. You want a hand with the bags?

No, no, no, I got it, I got it.

Get the kids to sleep, they gotta get ready for school tomorrow.


I know it wasn't you, but I couldn't say nothing.

Where the hell did you go?

Checking out the property. It's so big?

Just getting my bearings.

I was trying to help the dog find himself a spot.

Tomorrow, I'll find mine. Oh, good.

No cereals, no toast, no peanut butter.

So you'll have to make do with the apple donuts I got from the bakery this morning.

Where's this school at? I've drawn them a map.

Do we still have the same names? No, we are the Blake family.


Just in case.

Your hair is damp. Mom, it's fine.

Have a good day. Bye, Dad.

Love you. Love you too.

I'm gonna go check out the town and get some groceries. All right.

Try not to slob around all day in your robe, OK?

No, 'cause of the neighbors? No, for your morale.

My morale is OK, honey. Don't worry about me.

I'm just a little out of it, but you adjust more easily than I do to these things.

What do we say if we run into the neighbors?

Just give me some time to think about that. In the meantime, just give them a nice smile, and that'll give us time to come up with an idea.

And Stansfield asked me to make sure that you don't step outside the front gate.

Until when? Until he gets here.

And you're not supposed to mention the Riviera.

Where are we from then?

The States, sweetie.

This is not looking good.

Yeah, we're playing in the minor league now.

We'll debrief at lunch? OK.


Voilà. Mm. Thank you, miss.

Is there anything in this area worth seeing?

You know, museum, monument..?

There is a pressing museum machine, uh, at Verneuil.

Um.. There's St. Cecilia's Church, uh, with it, mm, 15th century stained-glass windows.

Oh. Can I walk there from here?

No. It's next town, 20 kilometers.

Next town..

You're the Yank? What do you want?

If you're American, you must be rich.

Wow, you must have read some pretty big books to get to be the big intellectual.

You gonna act the smartass with us, are you?

OK, can we just cut to the chase here?

What game are you in? Bullying, protection, shakedowns?

You got a monopoly or do you divvy up the market?

What do you reinvest your dough in?

Welcome to Cholong, Yankee.

Sorry, any what?

Du beurre de cacahuéte..

Peanut butter.

Ah. No, we don't stock stuff like that, lady.

I was only asking.

I'm sorry, but where might I find the pasta?

On the end, on the right, after the dog food.

- Merci. You're welcome.


That makes 92 francs, please.

Keep the change.


Is it any good? I think it's edible.

So how is the recon going?

It's fine. Shoot.

Well, the four jerks that were hitting on you before, they're in the 12th grade, and they organize the summer prom.

Remind me not to attend.

The big guy with the cap, he's the rugby team captain.

He'd do anything to get good grades in math, and he's friends with Jimi Hendrix.

Who's in love with the girl with the pink ribbon in her hair.

And the girl coming straight from Gotham City, runs the school black market on cigarettes.

The gossip girls over by the window, they're the sister of the son of a bitch who plays Dumbo in the corner.

He the one that did that to your eye?

Yeah. Don't worry, he'll get his.

I already know his weak point. Which is?

He needs a sound system for his party in two weeks.

There's only one guy who can get the gear he needs, and that is the engineer's son over there, sitting on his own.

You don't waste any time, do you?

I don't have time to waste.

Bon appétit.

In 1931, my grandfather drove one of the 200 Cadillacs hired by the legendary Vito Genovese for his wife's funeral cortege.

In 1957, my father, Cesare Manzoni, was one of the 107 bosses from all over the country who was invited to the Apalachin Convention, which ended in a manhunt.

Can you picture me punching a timecard at some factory?

I could have rebelled and gone straight to annoy my father.

But that was never gonna happen.

I took over the family business on my own free will.

Nobody forced me.

Even now if I got all the best hitmen in America on my ass, ready to blow me away and pick up those 20 million bucks, I don't have a single regret.

And, to tell the truth, deep down, you know what, I'm flattered.

Good dog.

Roses need constant love and attention. Yeah.

You've just moved in? Yeah. Yesterday.

American? Uh-huh.

Ah. Good or bad?

You know, France is a favorite destination for foreigners. Are you staying long?

No, I've never stayed long anywhere. We move around a lot.

'Cause of my work. Ah. And what do you do?

I'm a writer. A writer?

And what are you? A novelist?

No, no. Well, maybe one day, but now it's just history.

The landings. It's a commission. That's why we're here.

Landings. That's a vast subject. Yeah.

What's your angle on it?

My angle? Well, the Marines. It's a kind of a tribute to them.

I thought there were only GI's involved in the landings.

Yeah, but I'm going to discuss the Army and the core of it and so on, starting with the fleets.

You know, before the landings, there was the boardings.

Sure. I guess you'll be devoting a chapter to Operation Overlord.

Well, I don't think a single chapter could cover that.

What the 314th Infantry did in Taubenhof tops it all for me.

Young fellas, from Texas mostly, weren't they?

Oh yeah, yeah, those guys, they were like real cowboys.

That's for sure. Yeah.

Jeez, it's four o'clock already. I've got to get back in the house.

The kids are coming back to school.

Nice to meet you. It was nice meeting you.

Same here.

Why the fuck didn't I just say I was a novelist?

The window depicts the life of St. Martin.

It is 15th century stained glass.

Oh. Are you sightseeing in the region?

No, my family and I just moved here.

Uh.. Well, not too far from here. Welcome to you then.

It's always with great pleasure that I welcome a new member of our congregation.


A bientot.

- A bientot.

Wow. That's amazing.

I'm a collector, too. Really?

Yeah. I mean, nothing like you. I only started a few months ago.

The only one I'm missing is PSG's number eight.

I'll have to check, but I think I may be able to help you out with that.

If you have it, honestly, I'll give anything you want for it.

That's a deal, man.

Hey. You want a ride?

Thanks, but I've been sitting all day. It's good for me to walk.

Sure, but it's a chance to get to know each other.

And show you round town. It won't take long, you know.

Come on, Miss America.

Just a quick ride to welcome you to our beautiful town.

And this way, they get to improve their English.


I just think I missed a turn.

Where do you live? Rue des Favorites.

Aah. That is miles away. It'll be dark before you get home.

Open the door.


Just a quick ride.

You're the boss.

Hey, we aren't leaving town, are we?

You have to see the leisure park where everybody meets up at the weekend.

Do you like swimming? Sure.

I got the feeling Miss America's gonna knock 'em dead at the pool.


What are you guys doing? Just taking a little break.

Yeah, well, I think I should get home.

It's a little much for my first day.

Hey, relax.

It is just five minutes to get to know each other better.



Get off! Get off! Get off!

Hey, boys, if this is your approach to women, you're not gonna get very far.

Girls are not some toys that you fuck in the park.

OK? Your future depends on women.

Don't you care about your future?

So take care of them, or else you're not gonna have one.

Hey. Mom bought supplies for the whole year.

Did she find any peanut butter? You're joking.


Hi, honey. Hey.

How was your day?

Fine. Good.

MAN Title and author. A lot of letters up there, and a lot of money to be made for charity. Angie, you'll start.

Hi, Don Luchese. You asked for some ice?

It's not him.

OK, OK, I'll keep looking.

Va bene.

How about your teachers? What are they like?

Pretty good. Fucking bad.

Warren, can you please avoid using the word "fuck" in every sentence?

Sorry, Mom. We're not in Brooklyn anymore.

Your mother's right, son. We're not in Brooklyn anymore.

In fact, I don't there is anywhere further from Brooklyn than this fucking rat hole.

I'll get it. Finish up and help your mother clear the dishes.

How was the first day? It was pretty good.

Anything to report? Nothing.. special, no.

Kids? School?

You know, they always adjust better than we do.

I heard you already met the neighbor. The guy on the left, yeah.

What did you talk about? Nothing much, roses, mostly.

Roses, good. You can talk for hours about roses.

Yeah, you know, I was thinking..

How about this for a profession, a writer?

Writer, good. It explains your sedentary nature.

OK. Writer it is. But stick to simple subjects.

Airport novels, children's literature, shit like that.

A war novel, maybe? No.

Anything else?

They forgot the TV. We can't find five boxes.

The mover drove his truck off the ditch, broke the TV.

We ordered a new one, be here this week. Boxes, I don't know.

All right. Uh..

Mourad.. Mourad, uh..

Benkassem. Guy had a little shop down in Nice. You know..?

Yeah, he was the guy that sold the Italian produce to my wife.

He vanished two days ago. You have any idea where he might be?

No. Why are you asking me?

'Cause you beat the shit out of him two weeks ago, and if I hadn't been there, the guy would've died.

That "poor guy" tried to sell me a dozen lobsters, said they were fresh out of the ocean. I cut into them, they're frozen, rotten. Could have killed me and my whole family.

What the hell do you want with a dozen lobsters anyway, Fred?

I just pooled together with some of the neighbors, that's all.

You're not allowed to make any business deals, Freddy.

None. You remember that?

I was just trying to earn a little cash, that's all.

What the hell for? You're gonna go take a vacation?

So you don't know where Mourad's at?

No, but if you find him, you can tell him for me I'm not gonna pay for those fucking lobsters.

Try to fit in, will you, Freddy? I'm getting tired of finding you a new place to live every 90 days. Can I rely on you to try?

Sure, as long as I can rely on you.

You know what's gonna happen to you and your family when they find you?

You're here to make sure that don't happen, right?

I mean that's your job.

Try not to make my job impossible.

I gotta go. I'll be back in a couple of days.

I'm going to leave you Di Cicco and Mimmo.

Ooh.. I'm gonna sleep better now.

Say hi to Maggie for me. Yeah, you bet.

What did he say? Eh.. The usual standard bullshit.


What kind of fucking name is that?

Hey, Maggie.

Hi, babe. Hello, hello.

Oh, you shouldn't have. Put them right there.

Listen, I'm gonna go put this down there, OK?

Hi, guys.

Get yourselves something to eat. OK.

Hey. I'm so glad you could make it.


Oh. Hey, what a party. Thank you.

Hey, babe.

How you doing? Can I get you anything?

Yeah, get me a scotch and water. OK.

Coming up.

Glad to see ya.

Aah! What's wrong, honey? What?

No.. in the yard in Brooklyn.


I was dreamin' about..

Try not to think about it or you won't get a wink of sleep.

Yeah. Yeah.


If the story I'm going to tell you didn't happen to me, I'd never be able to make it up.

Of the version Stansfield sold everybody, I alone know what's true and what isn't true.

But he's gotta keep his mouth shut, in the line of duty. It's different for me.

Fuck the line of duty. All I want is for the truth, the whole truth, to be told just once, to say what really happened.

Even if nobody ever reads these words.

Maggie? Can you get me a coffee?

Maggie, you hear me?

Maggie? You don't hear me calling you?

Drop the Italian Stallion act, will ya?

Honey, I was working.

Might we know what you're doing on that type-writer?

Yeah, I was, uh, writing.

I'm not buying it, Giovanni, so save your bullshit for the neighbors.

No, I told you, I was writing.

You can hardly read, and you're gonna drop a book on us about the Normandy landings? You don't even know who Eisenhower was.

Forget the Normandy landings.

That's just a decoy. I was writing something else.

So share it with us. What are you writing?


My memoirs.

I knew it.

Stan thinks it's a good idea.

I think it's a good idea, too, as a cover.

Not for you to actually write your fucking memoirs.

Do you realize what a shitstorm this would land us in?

I didn't say I was going to publish it. I should hope not.

With your photo on the cover? The one and only Giovanni Manzoni.

Honey, I got to get it out. It's good for me to write the truth.

You know, even if I'm the only person that sees it.

I gotta know who I am, you understand?

Not through the eyes of my old life or the Feds, but through my own eyes.

Honey, I understand, but you could have come up with something else.

I mean, being an author's wife isn't exactly glamorous.

It sounds too much like "trophy wife." You could have consulted me, at least.

You gave me architect when we were in the South of France.

Oh, please.. The whole neighborhood came to me and asked me to build swimming pools and pizza ovens.

OK, you know what, forget about that now.

If you could be a plumber for five minutes, I would really appreciate it.

The water in the sink is coming out brown.

Did you call anybody?

I called the guy, made two appointments, he never showed.

Where are you going now? Working for you.


Hi, guys. Hey, Maggie.


Roasted peppers in olive oil, just how you like them, with lots of garlic.

This is really sweet of you, Maggie.

The smell alone takes you back home.

You have any of that bread left? Yeah.

Go on then, what are you waiting for?

You were supposed to be here at nine in the morning, you don't show up till about noon. What's that all about?

Yeah, I know. You're sure this time?

You.. OK.. no, all right, all right.

No, I'll be here. I'm not going nowhere, but don't make me wait, please.

Hey, did Stan tell you guys about the barbecue?


I don't know where Gio came up with the..

Fred. Fred..

I don't know where he came up with the idea, but he's pretty set on it.

The boss thinks it's a good idea, help you guys make friends in the neighborhood.

"Friends"? No swearing, please.

So good. Mm.

If anybody would have told me I'd be living in the land of cream..

Last night, at the restaurant I ate in, there was cream in the soup, the veal and the apple pie.

God, not to mention the butter.

Mamma Mia, the butter is even worse. They put it in everything.

It's not even natural. Sorry?

The human body was not designed to combat saturated fat like that.

The butter impregnates the tissues, and then it hardens and settles like silt.

It makes your aorta stiffer than a hockey stick.

Whereas olive oil..

Caresses your insides, leaving nothing behind but its scent.

That's right. Oil's in the Bible. Yeah.


Why don't you just ask them to hold the sauce, instead of scraping it off?

We're supposed to assimilate, remember?

Yeah, but there are limits. Dad's barbecue can't come fast enough.

At least, we'll get to eat some decent food for once.

How was your morning? Busy.

Awesome. What do you got for me?


Here, your math homework. Can I rely on you when the time comes?

You have my word.

I got the report on your little business, here.

If you give me some time to make a fake one, your folks will never know.

What do you want in return?

We share the cigarette market 50-50.


Ooh.. Don't move.

Take one of these just before. You'll feel like a horse.

You're the man.

You're a pervert. Thanks. What about you?

Well, some girl took my pink pencil case.

You're joking? Find out who did it?

It took a while, but eventually I found it.

You're a maniac. Thank you.

Do you know who that is?

Yeah. He's a college student who's replacing the Whale while she's on maternity leave.

He started yesterday. All the senior skanks are on the case.

So, you'll have your work out out for you.

On top of that, he's obsessive about math.

He's studying for some really tough exam.

Math geeks are such a pain in the ass.

Why don't you just get a jock instead. They think less.

What do you notice first about a guy?

His eyes.

The family at number 12, what are they like?

The mother's a klepto.

She got banned from the mall in Alengon.

The father, he had a bypass surgery.

Other than that, nothing special.

Except for the kid being held back in seventh grade.

You think they'll come to the barbecue?

Oh, don't worry, everybody's gonna be there.

They can't wait to check you guys out.

It's the weekend's main event. What the hell is this? It's good.

Calvados. What the fuck is Calvados?

It's good, it keeps you warm. You get a little..

It's happened to me before. Remember that job in Texas?

Hey.. Ramirez, the plumber.

You said five minutes, that was 45 minutes ago.

You know what we say around here? Better late than never.

Thank you, excuse me.


Oh, la-la-la-la.

Look at the state of your pipes. They must be at least 100 years old.

So, that explains the color of the water?

I didn't say that. What are you saying, then?

I'm saying it could be the pipes, but it could be an external issue.

External? Sure. The mains.

But you'd have to take that up with the mayor's office.

So, what do I do about the pipes now?

For now? Nothing. Yeah.

If it's a money issue, we could work something out.

Money doesn't solve everything.

But you're lucky if you've got money, because renovating your plumbing is gonna cost you an arm, and maybe a leg, as we say around here.

If not both arms and both legs, right?

So, what do you think I should do?

You call my wife, you pay 50% up front, and you make a new appointment.

We're a family of plumbers. My wife keeps the books, my son's learning the trade at college in Alengon.

We're a proud family of plumbers.

Father and sons for five generations.

Congratulations. Thank you.

And you, what's your line of work?

Let me show you.

Al Capone always said, "Asking polite with a gun in your hand is better than just asking polite."

Thanks for everything.

Oh, my pleasure. Hey, would you get me a little ristretto?

Our coffee machine broke during the move.

Coming right up. Thanks.

GIRLS Good night, sir.

Good night.

Hi, there. Hi.

I need private lessons. You need private lessons in math?

Unless you have any other specialties?

No, no, I only do math.


So, um..

What's your level?

What's more important, a good level or motivation?


That's all I have.

No, to give you this.

What I don't understand is how he could break his legs like this, by falling down the steps.

Well, they're stone steps, so they're pretty steep. Uh..

Sure, but there are not 200.

This man has as many fractures as a man who might have fallen from the sixth floor.

He had his bag on his shoulder and the hammer might have hit and somehow..

That might explain one or two, not 12.

How do you explain 12? I don't know. I'm not a doctor.

I'm a writer.

I know him.

He's a friend of my husband..

But he has a beard now.

Do you know where I might find him?


He's vanished too.

You have no idea where he could have gone?

Hey, who are you looking for really? My father or this guy?

You know, in our line of work, we have to follow up with every lead.

One clue often leads to another.

How about you? Tell us why the FBI is on the case?

It's part of a cooperation program between our two countries.

Can I see your badge?


In the next chapters, I'll show myself to be one of the nastiest bastards ever to walk the earth.

I won't spare myself, I'll tell the story without trying to make myself look good.

But in this chapter, I'll do the opposite and demonstrate to you that if you take a closer look, I'm a good guy.

I'll prove it to you in ten points, a bit like one of Letterman's Late Show top ten lists.

So here we go. Number 10..

I am always upfront, always.

You promised me the fucking money. Where's my fucking money?

Bust. Oh, yeah?

I never look for a scapegoat.

If you give me a job, I'll always see it through.

No.. No.

I never showed contempt for people who feared me.

Don't move for ten minutes, you understand?

I never betrayed the guy who gave me my first gun.

Did you ever work for this man?

I never wished any harm on anybody.

Hey, man. Hey.

Hey, what's goin' on? Hey.

Hey, punk.

No, it's all right.

I lived outside the law, but only outlaws didn't judge me.

Anybody who doesn't contradict me can expect nothing but good things from me.

No more pictures, you understand?

Thank you.

- Number 2.. Hey, Giovanni..

In my neighborhood, when I was running it, there was never a single robbery on the street.

People lived and slept easy.

Of the top ten reasons why I'm a good guy, I don't like to 'cause pain for no reason because all my sadistic urges are satisfied when I 'cause pain for a good reason.

Wait, I'm not fucking finished.

I thought you quit. I had.

It's just one. I needed it.

You all right? Nothing much.

Just the prospect of packing up again and moving when they find out you killed the plumber.

I didn't kill him. I took him to the hospital.

Why'd you beat him to a pulp?

He's the only plumber within a radius of 20 miles.

But he disrespected us and he made you wait on him.

Honey, I survived.

And the guy was tryin' to rip me off.

He tried to make me change all the pipes without giving me no assurance that the problem would be solved. So put yourself in my shoes.

I definitely wouldn't have beat him up. Who's gonna fix the pipes now?

Who's gonna rebuild the supermarket that burned down the day we got here?


All these supermarkets going up in smoke everywhere we go.

The plumber told me it might be the main water supply.

I'm gonna see the mayor tomorrow.

Oh, are you gonna whack the mayor now?

Oh, no, I'm gonna take care of this thing and get to the bottom of it.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Come on, when you gonna chill out?

Mmm.. Hmm?

What are you doing? I'm talkin' to you.

You get me so excited.

You're more beautiful than ever when you get angry.

You're sick. Nah, nah.

Maybe I should see a psychiatrist? Get off me.

I think you should see a psychiatrist.

You're my psychiatrist. Oh, God forbid.

You know, what even gets me more turned on?

When you start lighting those fires everywhere.

I don't know what you're talking about. You don't?

OK, Gio, not here. Come on, come on.

Get off me. No, here. Here.

Then in the hallway. We'll finish at the kitchen.

Say, who's this Henri you invited?

Somebody told you about him?

No, he called to see what time the barbecue started.

He did? Yeah. So, who is he?

He's this teacher at the school.

He will be a teacher. He has his exams soon and he's been giving me private lessons.

Private lessons? Math lessons, Mom.

Fine. You have condoms, at least?

Mom! What?

We do the lessons at school, in study hall.


You know, desire sneaks up on you, honey.

It never waits for the right time or place.

Take your father, for example.

The first time he jumped on me was in church, the very last place I expected to lose my virginity.

It's gonna be different for me, Mom.

I'm gonna choose the time and the place, and it will be with the love of my life.

Sweetheart, couldn't you have got something else other than Coke?

Why? This is what they expect from us. What, Coke?

No, American slop. Fatty, greasy Yankee chow.

That's what they expect, pornographic food.

Don't even think about using that vocabulary in front of your father.

Yeah, Morn, listen, the French are sick of healthy eating and macrobiotic, steamed vegetables and seaweed.

OK, what they expect is color, noise and excess.

They want rodeo and two-pound steaks.

I'm not so sure. Can you just trust me, please?

There's going to be a line out the door like it's a whorehouse.

The whole town's coming through. Yeah. Looks like they're a big hit.


- Yes, boss. How's it going?

- Pretty good. I'll be there in an hour.

- OK. Meanwhile, go join the party.

- Are you sure? You're the neighbor, right?

- OK. So, get over there, and join the party.


What did he say? We gotta go to the party.

I'm relying on you two. Don't mess this up.

Polite, ordinary, nothing eccentric, OK?

OK. Warren, did you call your father?

Yeah, he said he'd come as soon as he finished his chapter.

Oh God. What does that mean, his chapter?

I have no idea. But for the survival of the species, it's best if the whole world doesn't find out.

OK. Yep. OK? All right.

Hi. Welcome.

Thank you so much for coming.

Oh, those are beautiful. Thank you so much.

Hello, I'm Maggie. Oh, we're neighbors.

Hello, nice to meet you. This is my son Warren.

Sweetie, will you put these in water?

My daughter Belle. Hello, nice to meet you. Welcome.

Come in, make yourself at home. I'm Maggie.


I confess I'm curious to taste a real hamburger made by real Americans.

Well, hopefully, in less than ten minutes, your wish will be fulfilled.

You're going to take that silverware and put it back where you found it, nice and easy, or else I'm gonna break both your arms.

I'll be right there.

Excuse me. Sweetheart..

I want you to go find your father and tell him if he hasn't lit his barbecue in the next five minutes, I'll burn the fucking house down.

Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt.


Everybody's waiting for you to start the barbecue.

OK, yeah.

You OK? Yeah.

Writing is intense.

I feel like I've been lookin' at myself in a mirror all day.

You gonna be OK? Yeah.

It's just, I was thinkin' about you and your brother.

How I always didn't do the right thing by both of you and..

And I put you in a tricky situation..

And I regret that.

Dad. Dad, what are you talking about?

You're the best Dad anybody could ever ask for.

Really? Fuck, yeah.

Well, let's go party then.

You OK, boys? Oh, yeah.

Mag, you make the best pasta. Aw, thanks.

You give yourself away with pasta like this.

Everybody'll realize you're actual Italians.

I added a little cream to throw the people off the scent.

That's not how you do it, Mr. Blake. You put too much charcoal on too soon.

You know, this isn't the first time I prepared a barbeque.

I build a wood fire. It takes longer, but the quality is so much better.

Your charcoal isn't good quality.

You have to get it from Michel on the north side of town.

Or use very dry wood. You'll never get it started.

You should empty it out and start over. It will be quicker.

Ah, Mr. Blake, one cannot possess every talent, the talent to write beautiful words, and the talent to light fires.

Hey, Stan.

Stand me to a drink, Fred?

Yeah. Give a couple minutes to get this baby rocked.

I'll meet you at the bar. Take your time.

Gentlemen, in two minutes, your burgers will be sizzling and cooked to perfection.

Good crowd.

Congratulations, Fred. It's a huge success.

Well, it's missing a.. I don't know, a certain je ne sais quoi.

No, you miss the social charm of a bunch of wiseguys sitting around in the shade. Huh?

Come on, Stan, Have some respect.

Those guys were my family. Even if I snitched on them, they were still my family and those were the best years of my life.

Whalberg asked about you. Yeah, Whalberg?

Nice to know he's concerned about me.

I hear he got himself elected to the Senate?

It's always been his big dream.

He's even got a weekly meeting at the White House.

Smart man. Great. So, what did he want?

Oh, he just wants to know how you're..

What you're doing.

Mm. Yeah. Tell him I write.

I did. That's what bothers him.

Uh.. He's got nothin' to worry about.

At this point, I've just got a few pages down.

It's all random stuff.

You intend to tell the whole story?

Stan, how could anybody tell the whole story?

If I want people to believe me, I gotta tone it down.

Otherwise they'll think I made the whole fucking thing up.

You want people to read it?

At this point, that would be pretentious.

OK, what's funny, Fred?

I haven't written a fucking word yet and all of a sudden, I'm a famous writer at the White House.


Thank you so much for coming. These are homemade donuts.

- Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Au revoir.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

- Bye-bye. Au revoir.

He didn't come?

Yeah, but he only said "maybe."

- He has an exam next week. Aw..

Listen, sweetie, I don't know the boy, but you have to be a bit of a dork to prefer math to a beautiful girl, you know what I'm saying?

By the time I'm done with him, he won't be able to count with his fingers.

That's the spirit.

Hey, Maggie. Hey, Stan, thanks for coming.

Come on, help me clear up.

Oh, uh.. You knew Vinnie Vitale, right, Fred?

Silly me, he was one of your guys.

Anyway, Auggie Campania ratted him out, and the carnage when we went by to pick him up, very sad.

Auggie gave us the whole clan.

We collared practically every one of them and that's down to you, Freddy.

What do you mean, Stan?

You were the first one to set a good example, by snitching on your own family.

Now, everybody thinks you're poolside someplace, tanning your ass off.

You are the best advertisement we ever had.

Well, thanks for the party, and we'll see you soon.

Don't mention it.


Have you ever noticed the number of things Dad is capable of expressing just with the word "fuck"?

Trying to say Dad's illiterate? No..

I mean, he's a good ol' boy, so you know he talks to be understood, not just to sound good.

So, from him, a "fuck" can mean, "Holy shit, what did I just get myself into."

Or, "Great pasta." Or "I'm gonna get that guy for that."

So why does a guy like that need to stay up all night writing when he could already express the entire range of human emotions with a single word?

So, you see, as I told you, the tests show the water is fine.

But my water comes out brown when I turn on the faucet.

Perhaps your plumbing is a little bit on the old side, quite simply.

Well, what about the sewage plant I heard about.

It's almost brand new. Go and see for yourself.

Mr. Blake, I know the mayor's office is always a perfect scapegoat, but for once, we didn't do anything.

Well, sometimes doing nothing makes you just as guilty as if you did a whole bunch of things.

Listen, Mr. Blake.

I have nothing against foreigners, but you have only just come here.

Let us resolve our difficulties in our own way.

True, it can drag on, but we always find a solution in the end.

Well, Mr. Blake, it was a pleasure to meet you.

Pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Mayor.

This is really good. You've really improved.

It's because I have a good teacher.

Perhaps, but soon, you won't need him anymore.

So when do you take your exams again?

Next week. And what happens if you pass?

Well, um, I guess, I go to Paris and find a job.

OK, uh.. Let's find you something a bit tougher to do.

Here we go, a turbine problem.

The water is already brown when it reaches us.

We are at the end of the chain.

So why does everybody give us shit about this?

Why don't you go and see who is really responsible?

I'd be happy to. Just give me one clue and I promise you, nobody will give you a hard time after that.

Chemical fertilizers turn the water brown.


And there are not 50 factories producing fertilizers around here.

There's only one.

Sorry to bother you.

Maggie I know, Jesus, that my family tries your patience.

But you know, deep down, they're not bad people.

They just need you to guide them, and I'm relying on you, because I can't do it all on my own.


Father, you gave me a start.

If there's one place you shouldn't be frightened, it's in church.

Yes, you're right. I'm sorry.

You know, this isn't the first time I've seen you in the middle of the day, praying on your own, but never at mass.

Yes, well, I come as often as I can.

I was expecting a parishioner, who can't make it apparently.

Would you like to take his place for confession?


Oh, I confess it's been years since I went to confession.

Well, then that's one thing at least you should ask forgiveness for.

I imagine that you're bound by some sort of confidentiality clause.

Nothing I say leaves the building.

We are bound by something far more sacred than a confidentiality clause.

The secrecy of the confessional box.

Have no fear.


Warren! Your homework?

My homework?

The assignment I gave you for the last edition of the school newspaper.

A short story in English with wordplay and double-meanings.

Oh, yeah, that one.

Warren, it goes off to the printers tonight, so don't tell me you haven't done it. No, of course I did it.

Wonderful. Can I have it? Yeah, it's just in here.

Give me five minutes to get you a hard copy.

Five minutes and not one second more.

More than enough.


In English..

Nice. You havin' a good time?

What's on at the opera right now?

You wouldn't like it, Don Luchese. They're doing Boris Godunov.

It's a story written by a Russian. Russki.

Why wouldn't I like it?

If it's "Godunov" for you, it's "good enough" for me.

"if it's good enough for you, it's Godunov for me."

If she doesn't like that, then too bad for her.

I got the Gazette.

Chéri. Chéri.

Gary! Can you do five minutes' work a day?

Just for me. Boss, I'm on my break.

Move your ass before I kick it!

Vincenze, I think I'm in love.

Oh. Who's the lucky girl?

They call her Miss April.

You should wait for summer.

That's why you ought to stay at it.

Yeah. Hey, Morales.

I have a package for you, boss.

How's your knee? Much better. Thank you.

Looks like a package from my nephew.

My coffee. You gotta taste this, Morales.

I would love to, but I have a situation in Block C.

I'll keep some for you. Thanks.

Specialty from home, huh?

No, a guy from Milan who spent some time here introduced me to this.

Not as creamy as Irish coffee, but less sickly.

- Salute. Salute.

Well? Yeah, it's nice. Good.

This is French, no? Let me see.

I've learned four languages in my time here and started Chinese lessons recently.

I butchered them for decades in Chinatown, never understanding a damn word they said.

I thought I owed them that much, at least.

Yes, it's French.

"If it's 'Godunov' for you, it's.. It's 'good enough' for me."

Go get Morales.

Please follow me. Mr. Chambard will see you now.

Ah. Mr. Blake.

I don't want to seem rude, but I don't have much time.

I have a plane to catch. Oh, yeah?

Oh, you're a biker? Yes, always have been.

What can I do for you?

I hope you are not here about this brown water business too.

I'm afraid so.

If only we could put a stop to this archaic way of thinking, "chemicals equal pollution."

No, believe me, you're preaching to the converted.

But you know, it's when I turn my water on in my kitchen, and it comes out brown, I don't want brown water.

I want my water crystal-clear.. Buy bottled water then.

If there is one thing I don't like, it's being interrupted.

So I'm going to ask you one more time, and I advise you to pay close attention.

When I turn on my faucet, and the water comes out brown, I don't want my water brown, I want it crystal-clear.

So what can you do for me? The turbine..

The turbine? Yes.

The pumps, stop it.

Where is this turbine?

Next tank.. number five.


No. My children.

You open your big mouth about this, you won't have no children no more.

What are you doing?

I'm just passing the time, waiting on you.

Where you been? I was just walking the dog.


You read the manuscript?

It's my job, Fred. Don't get mad, I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on you.

What am I to expect next time? You come out of my toilet bowl?

No, not me, but Di Cicco could any minute.

You amaze me, Fred. Really.

You're not as illiterate as you seem.

This is a bit rough around the edges, but you got a style all your own.

I particularly enjoyed your account of the peace negotiations with the Esteban family after your turf wars.

You made a "concession," that's what's they call a euphemism, Freddy.

You practically kissed his smelly Colombian ass that day.

Stan, I thought we had an agreement. We wouldn't insult each other.

Keep your ass in this chair, you wouldn't be feeling insulted right now.

On the other hand, your account of me is a bit harsh.

"The FBI pitbull who's been ruining my life for the last six years."

"Eyes.. colder than a rotten fish."

Uh, "He'd be capable of hauling his own mother" into court for fudging on her taxes."

That is just awkward, hackneyed syntax. Freddy, take it easy.

You escaped our surveillance and that is enough for me to terminate the Witness Protection Program right now, and there's not a goddamn thing all your cronies in Washington could do about it.

If you plan another stunt like this, I'm gonna put an electronic bracelet on your ankle.

Stan, don't you think you're overreacting a little too much?

What is all this grief about? A couple of pages written in a garage in the middle of nowhere?

This gets out, you're dead.

Stan, we're all gonna die.

And I'll be honest with ya.

Dying for these words..

Is always nobler than the death I'm destined for.


Give me the rest of it to read when you're finished.


You've got a real page-Turner here.

I can't wait to see how it ends.

Uh.. Belle. Uh.. I'm sorry.

Today is a special day for me.

I know. Your exam's tomorrow.

Yes. My train is at 7:15 this evening, and..

We won't do any exercises tonight.

I didn't intend to.

I, uh.. put together some exercises for you to do, uh, at home.

They're equations.

And I have something that I'd like you to solve.

What's more beautiful than life itself..

Devours you inside..

Makes you laugh and cry all day..

And makes you do anything..


Any place?



And the answer is?

Mmm! Fuck!

Gio. Aw, honey, I can't..

I'm sorry, but only a good old-fashioned expression is worthy of your pasta.


It's the ultimate compliment.

I'd happily do without your fucking compliments.

Honey, it's so good, it's better than New York.

No, your memory's playing tricks on you, honey.

These tomatoes are from Spain. There's no flavor whatsoever.

Yeah, Alzheimer's coming to get you, Dad?

Yeah, OK. But, you know, there's something you do that's just amazing.

No, nostalgia compensates for the lack of flavors and stimulates the brain to recreate all the missing pieces.

What is this with you guys? Huh?

I'm trying to pay your mother a compliment over here, and you guys are going off on some other nonsense.

Huh? What's wrong with this family?

What is this now? Hey. Where's she going?

She leaves the table in the middle of dinner?

I think she has a little crush on someone.

Yeah, it's a math geek.

A crush? And I'm the last to know, obviously.

It hasn't gone past first base so far, I don't think.

Well, that's good to know, but the guy just thinks he can call at any time of the day or night? What are we doing here?

Gio, it's fine.

It's not fine. It's almost nine o'clock.

This is not a decent time for anybody to be calling us. What are we doing?

Dad. It's for you. Yeah.


Good evening. This is Mr. Lemercier.

We met a few weeks ago at your barbecue. I'm the English teacher.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I know you, yeah. Right, right.

- So what can I do for you? Well, um..

I've run the Cholong Film Society for nearly five years now, on a voluntary basis, of course.

I see, I didn't know that.

We meet once a month for a film, usually followed by a debate.


I must say, the arrival of an American writer in Cholong seems like the perfect opportunity to revisit some American classics, and I thought of a film that would suit you wonderfully.

What would that be?

Some Came Running by Vincente Minnelli.

Yeah, that rings a Bell. That's the one with Sinatra or Dean Martin?

- Both. What's it about?

A writer, who's an army veteran, goes back home with an unfinished novel.

And who plays the writer? Frank? Yeah.

Well, let me think that over, and I'll get back to you.

Very gracious of you. Good night, Mr. Blake.

- Thank you, OK. Bye. Thank you.

- Hey, Fred. Who's this? Pluto or Goofy?

It's Di Cicco. What do you mean, "Let me think it over"?

I don't talk to dumbbells. Play the tape for Stan and let him call me.

You out of your mind?

Stan, you told me to integrate, that's what I did. I integrated.

He seemed like a nice guy and I didn't want to upset him and risk being unpopular.

"Unpopular"? Who the hell asked you to be popular?

"Integrated," "discreet," "nondescript."

What the hell are you gonna be doing at a debate on American movie classics anyway?

The subject just.. as a writer.. You're not a writer, Fred.

You even said I had a style all my own.

You're just a mean son of a bitch who managed to save his own ass.

Stan, I saved my own ass because I don't wanna fucking live like a zombie the rest of my life. I paid big time for that right, Stan.

The right to live decent, physically, mentally, intellectually.

So I'm gonna get a copy of that movie, I'm gonna watch it, and I'm gonna think of some interesting stuff to say, and you're gonna come with me to that debate.

You understand?

And for that, you know what? I promise, I'll give you a good write-up in my memoirs.

You're insane. I know.


I'll see you at the debate. OK.

Don't expect me to come to your debate.

Thanks for your support.

Salut, Don Luchese. How are you?

I'm on the trail of Giovanni Manzoni.

Are you sure? We looked all over the South of France for this guy.

The bastard's hiding out in Normandy.

Head over there and make him pay. Him and all his family.

Where is he exactly?

Warren Blake!

Hurry up, a little quicker.

Go on.

Warren Blake.

There's not much to say about your grades.

Fifteen out of 20, right across the board. No problem there.

Now, let's talk about your conduct, and the 22 complaints I have received about you.

Complaints? About what?

Take your pick.

Assault, corruption, bullying, threatening students, teachers, adults.

Where do you want to start?

I want to see my lawyer.

My eyes are killing me from watching him too much.

Well, what's he doing? Nothing. He's just sitting at his desk.

- Hello? Belle? It's me.

I know it's you, sweetheart.

- It's the boyfriend. How did it go?

Fine. All the stuff I studied for came up.

I had a quick check afterwards and I think I got pretty much everything right.

I'm so proud of you. Are you coming home on the train tonight?

Uh, no. I'm going to stay in Paris for a few days.

My father's in town and I have to start looking for an apartment.

Well, nothing too small and maybe one that has a bathtub.

On my budget, it won't be much bigger than a shoebox.

A shoebox is fine as long as it has a bed.

Belle, you're a wonderful person.

Amazing, even. And it was an unforgettable experience.

An experience?

Yeah, I mean.. a fabulous moment.

I gave you my heart and soul, things I've never given to anybody before, and you wanna call it "a fabulous moment"?

Yes, you're right. It was much more than that, but..

You're right, it was more than that. I chose you, Henri.

Belle, I'm not ready for that. My family doesn't have very much money..

- What an asshole. ..And they're relying on me.

That's not the way to do it. Come on. Over the phone?

I can't drop everything just like that for..

- For..? Belle, try to understand.

Let's give it a few weeks and maybe we can meet up now and then.

From door to door?


Love was the only thing that could take me away from my crazy life.

It was my only hope.

And you crushed it.

Seventeen years old. Slap him in the face myself.

That's not the way to do it. Unbelievable.

I'm warning you, Fred. One word out of line, I'll lock you in this house for one year.

Stan, will you relax?

We're not gonna go shake nobody down.

We're gonna go watch a movie at Cholong-sur-Avre.

That's all.

Want to walk? No, we'll take my car.

You ever see that movie? Never heard of it.

Father, I managed to get away.

Ow.. You. You can't stay here.

What's wrong? Your confession has haunted me all week.

How can you live such a hellish existence?

Isn't that the point of confessing?

Your family is the incarnation of evil, and your life is a never-ending pact with the devil.

Leave this holy place, for the love of God.

Enjoy the show.

- Thank you. Merci.

Good crowd. Huh? Yeah.

If they'd put your picture out front or in the newspaper, we would have a sell-out.

Are you gonna moan and groan all night?

Can't you just sit down and relax and enjoy it?

In our long friendship, this is our first-ever guys' night out.

Friendship? Yeah.

I mean, you're probably the guy I hate the most in this whole fucking world, but we've known each other what, nine, ten years already?

My freedom is based on the deep respect that I have for you.

Explain how that works. How can we have a friendship when you hate me?

It works just fine. Look at my best friends, I killed them all.

Just kidding.

Uh.. My dear friends, apologies for the delay which was due to certain technical issues.

Unfortunately as has happened on two previous occasions, la Cinémathéque de Normandie has sent us the wrong film.

Well, that's one problem solved.

Come on, I'll buy you a drink. But in this unfortunate mix-up, we received another American film, also set in the US.

And I'm sure that Mr. Blake, as a New Yorker, will be able to confirm, I would say, the authenticity of the film's setting.

If, of course, he does us the honor of.. Of staying?

Uh.. I'll try, yeah. I'll try my best. Yeah, sure.

Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Blake, for staying for this other film, which is also a masterpiece.

One of the very best by the famous director Martin Scorsese.

Ladies and gentlemen, Goodfellas.

All right, that's it. Come on. No, we're staying.

Don't be stupid. Come on.

We'll draw ten times more attention to ourselves by running out now.

They're gonna wonder what we're running away from.

I'm not gonna spend two hours listening to you rhapsodize about your family's home videos.

It's a good movie, Stan. Gangsters all over the screen, that's gotta be a turn-on for a top cop like you.

I bet it's your favorite secret jerk-off movie.

You could tell me.

You're gonna like the way it ends. I guarantee.

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.

Jesus! You scared the shit out of me!

What are you doing? Going somewhere?

Yeah. I got into some trouble at school.

I don't want the Feds blaming you guys for what I did, so I'm gonna bail out and head to Paris.

I'm 14, so, it's time I started out in the business.

Dad was 13 when he started.

Yeah, we don't have ID's or anything like that, so you can't..

You think I'm some kind of amateur?

You never cease to amaze me.


Those are Mom's pearls. Yeah.

Where are you going?

To be with the man that I love. Cool.

Take care of yourself, OK? Yeah.

Come here.

I love you, you know. I love you, too.

What a..

What a beautiful movie, my friends. Thank you.

Now, we're gonna do a little debate, totally unprepared, of course, but..

OK, Mr. Blake?

Be careful, Fred.

Now, I have a question for you, Mr. Blake.

When one lives in New York, does one sense quite so vividly the presence of the Mafia, as it is represented in movies?

Uh.. The presence of the Mafia?

Uh.. Might one, you know, bump into men like the three gangsters in the movie in the street?

Uh.. In the street?

You know, there's an opening scene, and there's a guy on the left..

With a yellow shirt on, sitting on the chair that's turned around, he was a real gangster.

Stone-cold killer.

You'd see him on Hester and Mulberry.

Every morning he'd be having his coffee, just like he did when he was a kid.

His father used to beat him up, threw him out of the house.

This kid had a lot of aggression, and that's where that killer instinct comes out, 'cause you've been getting so many beatings, you just don't give a fuck.


At 12 years old this kid had, what you'd call a beef with..

An argument with a kid from another neighborhood, and one thing led to another, the next thing you know, he beat him to death with a two-by-four.

"Put his hand in cold water."

That's an expression that certain people used to use when you killed somebody for the first time.

Why aren't they answering it? The kids are home, aren't they?

Yeah, the lights are on in their bedrooms.


It's OK, Maggie's home.

Please. Oh, pick up the phone.



Check out the town, get a feel for what's going on.


No, stop, already it's super late.

Yeah, I'm outside. No stop, really? Seriously?

Oh, hi, Belle.

Wait a minute.

Wow, what's wrong with the dress?

Can I use your phone? You don't lend your phone to people.


You take care of the firehouse and meet us outside the town hall.

We'll take the cops. OK.

So, finally they get so impatient, they just shoot him, shoot him.

Boom, boom, boom. Put him in the fucking tote. Barn!

This fucker's out of control.

Round up Maggie and the kids. We're gonna go into plan B tonight.


- What's going on? We're outta here tonight.

Hello? Hi. It's Belle.

Belle. I can't really talk right now. I'm having dinner with my father.

I won't keep you long. I just wanted to tell you that I love you.

Belle.. And hear your voice one more time before I go.

- You're leaving Cholong? Yes.

Where are you going?

To be with you.

Belle, we've already talked about this.

For now, it's better if we just give each other some space.

One of my sister's come down, we're having a big family meal.

I really can't talk right now.

Sir, how can I help you? Sorry, I don't speak French.

Try that.

Found it.

But, uh, I'll give you a ring in a week, OK, when I get back from Paris.

I'll call you back.

I got a question for you, young man. How many people are in this firehouse?

Nobody, just me.

Good news.

Hey. Hey, guys.

Hey. Did you guys see the kids go out? They're not in their rooms.

No, they're supposed to be at home.

Oh, yeah, well. I guess they must have snuck out.

That's what kids their age do, right?

Maggie, do you have any idea where they could be?

No. I guess if you'd let them have cell phones we could find out.

Maggie, look, Stan's activated the emergency plan.

You're leaving tonight.

What's wrong, things went badly at the film society?

It was a complete disaster.

Paulo and Albert at the intersection.

Bernie and Tommy on the street there, watching for the Feds.

They must have a hideout with a view of the house.

Mezzo, you cut off the back exit, if they try to run that way.

Billy and me, we take care of the rest. Everybody happy?

Yeah, that should do.

What time do we synchronize our watches to?

What time is it now? Who's got French time?

Me. It'll be midnight in 15 seconds. Good.


What was that?

Jesus, the police switchboard is down.

What's going on? I don't know, but if I find out if you had anything even remotely to do with this, you're gonna go away for a hell of a long time.

Calm down. I was with you all night.

That's the problem. Your alibi is too good.

I forbid you to leave this house. Is that clear?


My husband's home. I'm gonna go look for the kids.



I'm going by the police station to see what's going on.

I want the whole family in the house.


Stay right here.

Anybody here?

I want you to check this block out and meet me back here in ten, all right?

You got it.

Bernie. Yeah?

The Feds are here somewhere. Find them. I will.

Guys, look, I just wanna pack some clothes in case you send us to the North Pole, and I gotta find my kids.

I won't be long, I promise. Five minutes.

OK. Five minutes.


They're here. They've found us. Who?

I don't know how, but the street's crawling with them.

They're here.

There's no number on the house.

That means that's the one. Let's go.


It's a cleanup operation. Get that family out of there.

Maggie's with us. The kids are unaccounted for.

Only Fred's in the house.

See that, Malavita? Huh?

What's up?

Happy? Very.

Wanna go out?

Oh, my God. They're gonna blow up the house.

Oh, my God.

Oh, Gio, pick up the phone. Please.

Pick up the phone.

Shh! Shh!

Maggie, be calm. Shh!

OK. Maggie, listen to me.

We're going to go out the back, you wait a few seconds.

On my signal, you come out. Where are my kids?

I don't know where your kids are, but on my signal, you come out, OK?

Let's go.

Come on. Let's go. OK.


What's that? Bernie.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Maggie. Hey, Bernie.

It's good to see you again. The feeling's not mutual, Bernie.

Maggie, I'd like to make it a clean kill.

After what your husband did, and you know the rule.

I have to dirty you first. Yeah, I know.

Holy shit.


Maggie, if you don't put up a fight, it won't hurt so bad.

Aw, geez. What?

Hey guys. I found the dog, he's hurt. What should we do with it, Tom?

He said everybody and no witnesses, right?

Come on, it's not like the dog could rat on anyone.

Just shoot the fucking mutt, Al. He's a dog.

Albert, shoot the dog or I'm gonna shoot you.

All right, relax, put the fucking gun down, Tommy. OK?

I'll shoot the fucking dog.


Easy, my friend.

You're not a little girl anymore, Belle.

Fuck you.

Thank you.


This morning, I was worth $20 million.

I'm probably worth double that now.

I've cheated death so many times in my life, I don't even think about it anymore.

It's like getting caught outside in a storm.

You just have to avoid being hit by the lightning.

But all things considered, I had a pretty good day.

My family is more together than we've ever been, the water in town ain't brown no more, and for a couple of hours, I was the toast of the local film society in Cholong-sur-Avre.

In fact, the only thing that's pissing me off now is that I have to re-write this entire fucking book.

And we have to change our names again. Son of a bitch.