The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle (1980) Script

MALCOLM MCLAREN THE EMBLEZZER -

STEVE JONES THE CROOK -

PAUL COOK THE TEA-MAKER -

SID VICIOUS THE GIMMICK -

JOHNNY ROTTEN THE COLLABORATOR -

RONNIE BIGGS THE EXILE -

My name is Malcolm McLaren, I have brought you many things in my time.

A Teddy Boy named ****** suits suits, fine tailoring, pointy shoes, Sex clubs, bondage, whips, chains, the whole bloody lot; but the most succesfull of all was an invention of mine that they called, The Punk Rock.

LESSON 1.

HOW TO MANUFACTURE YOUR GROUP? -

Find yourself four kids.

Make sure they hate each other.

Make sure they can't play.

Ah, let me start from the begining...

How should we know whether the pope is a murderer?

Fire, fire, fire!

In our case, there was Steve Jones, 18 years of age, a brilliant cat-burglar In one instance, nearby at Rolling Stones' Keith Richards' house, he manage to steal a colour tv, a load of nice fur coats, and a bunch of guitars.

Well, I nominated him a guitarist.

Anarchy!

Ahh, there was another fella friend of his, Paul Cook, a typical lout, unafraid of anything criminal, always on time.

We had to provide the bait!

He became our drummer.

Go away!

Do you want these prawns?

I've a lot of burning to do tonight.

Often, lurking in the corner of the shop, i noticed this dickensian figure and a chance to be singer in our group was one he had to take.

When I learned he was Irish and Steve saw his green teeth, we called him Johnny Rotten!

Then there was Sid.

Sidney was a natural terrorist, who arrived too damn late, but he kept in touch as an Agent Provocateur, working in the clubs.

Ensuring that every gig the group played ended up in an unpredictable bloody mess.

Bashing and jumping all about.

He invented the pogo and we gave him a nice name, Sidney Vicious.


ENEMIES OF THE WORLD


With the lineup complete, we immediately set about putting our plan into effect.

To swindle our way to the top of the rock n roll industry.

It was a plan, that within 2 years, was to bring us close on a million pounds, and a household name as the most filthy, disgusting, dirtiest, rock n' roll band in the whole bloody world.

1978 KIDS AUDITION ANYONE CAN BE A SEX PISTOL


# People said we couldn't play #

# The called us foul-mothed yobs #

# But the only notes that really count #

# Are the ones that come in wads #

# They all drowned when the air turned blue #

# 'cos we didn't give a toss #

# Filthy lucre, ain't nothing new #

# But we all get cash from the chaos #

# The time is right to do it now #

# The greatest rock'n'roll swindle #

# The time is right to do it now #

# E.m.i. said you're out of hand #

# And they gave us the boot #

# But they couldn't sack us, just like #

# That Without giving us the loot #

# Thank you kindly A&M #

# They said we were out of bounds #

# But that ain't bad for two weeks work #

# And 75,000 pounds #

# The time is right to do it now #

# The greatest rock'n'roll swindle #

# The time is right to do it now #

# The time is right to do it now #

# The greatest rock'n'roll swindle #

# The time is right to do it now #

# I just wanna play with my hand #

# Are you good enough for me #

# Hiya boys I'm the choosen one #

# Can't you fucking see #

# I'm a jealous God and I want everything #

# And I love you with a knife #

# I'll take you, if you're ready for me #

# And I'll give you my life #

# The time is right for nickey's special #

# The greatest rock'n'roll star #

# The time is right for me, now! #

# I'd kill... Elvis Presley died in 1959 #

Chuck Berry is a (?) fucker

Ian Dury cockney fraud, Mick Jagger white nigger Bob Dylan with a parking ticket stuck to his arsehole David Bowie is blessed curse!!!!!

Rod Stewart's got a luggage label tied to his tonsils Elton John: hair transplant

Sid Vicious, a rock'n'roll cliche.

Paul Cook, hamburguesas Rock 'N' Roll!

Johnny Rotten his days are even numbered.


Hello Mama!

Rock 'N' Roll!

Swindle! It's a swindle!

Helen, come and turn this racket off!

Haven't you understood anything yet?

You realized these kids didn't buy the records for the music.

That was the case this thing would have died a death years ago.

LESSON 2 ESTABLISH THE NAME -

Well, to establish the name Sex Pistols i avoided competition of all costs.

I prevented the band from ever playing in any of those Rock'N'Roll houses.

Instead we play strip-tease clubs, prisons, fashionable parties, didn't really matter just any shit-hole that didnt reak of Rock'N'Roll.

I used to plant people in the audience, get them to swear 'nd split.

People throw a few hard throw bottles at the bastards, but I made double-ly sure that it was always the Sex Pistols that got thrown out for causing all the trouble.

I felt the time was right to find a real good solid base, smack in the heart of the record industry.

Remembering all the time never to compete with that necrophiliac Rock'N'Roll.

Not yet anyway.

I walk around down into Soho, looked in the arcades and discos, soliciting young kids.

Didn't want fans who like music, just wanted kids who loved to dress up, mess up.

Get off your arse!

Cultivate the curiosity of the press and other media.

Minimalize the possibility of them ever seeing the group.

# I am an antichrist #

# I am an anarchist #

# Don't know what I want But I know how to get it #

# I wanna destroy passerby #

# 'Cause I #

# I wanna be #

# Anarchy #

# In the City. #

# Anarchy for the UK #

# It's coming sometime and maybe #

# I give a wrong time stop at traffic line #

# Your future dream is a shopping scheme #

# 'Cause I #

# I wanna be #

# Anarchy #

Forget about music, and concentrate on creating generation gaps.

Call all hippies boring old farts and set light to them.

# How many ways to get what you want #

# I use the best I use the rest #

# I use the N.M.E #

# I use Anarchy #

# 'Cause #

# I wanna be #

# Anarchy #

# Get pissed! #

Terrorize, threaten and insult your own useless generation.

# Anarchy for the UK #

# Is this the U.D.A #

# Is this the I.R.A #

# I thought it was the UK #

# Or just #

# Another country #

# Council tenancy #

# I wanna be #

# Anarchy #

# Get pissed! #

# I wanna be #

# Anarchist #

Suddenly, you become a noble idea.

And you've got people wanting to join in.

You've gained credibility from nothing, you're the talk of the town.

Develop this as a story you can sell.

The first time i layed eyes on Mclaren, he was chasing me down the King's road on account of the clothes i'd just nicked from his shop.

3 years later i steped off the concord from Rio with a foul taste in my mouth.

It was me looking for him.

The trial has lead from the plush appartment of Ronnie Biggs.

Back to the rat ridden streets of Soho.

I thought we was in it together but the swindle had become a vicious circle and now it was reaching me.

He ran his empire from a sleazy back room above a strip club in Greek Street Malcolm always had good taste, but if he rips me off i'll break his fucking legs.

I tried the safe where he always stashed his dough, he didnt trust anyone, let alone a bank.

The clues were in front of me in black and white, Bollocks! but i never learned to read or write.

People often ask me the difference between the sex pistols and the beatles.

Soap and water.

I was only a nipper when they was going, but i was fucking glad when they broke up.

Hello, i've got a lesson 3 on the line, "How to sell the swindle?".

Reverse charges, will you accept the call?

Helen, find yourself a lawyer who has no interest in music.

That is purely interesting in making money.

He's your main asset in developeing the highest price.

And in illustrating to record companies the enormous potential a band that can't play.

Now begins the task of intresting the record companies on your own terms And get them to start battling against each other for the group.

Dave Dee, please! A&R A&R, Dave Dee speaking. This is Chris Parry.

Halo, Doug Darcy, Chrysalis records.

What about the Sex Pistols?

They were a particularly ugly band.

It's dreadful.

The group were doing a very private, I think, secret show, at "The Screen on the Green," lslington.

I went along with a couple of our A&R people, and, eh, Chris Wright, the chairman.

And eh, we got to the door, knocked on the door, somebody opened the door and said, "Fuck off!"

My initial reaction when i walked into the club, you know, was to make the bar which is always quite, you know, the best thing to do.

Well we weren't gonna be dissuaded, so we sort of tapped on the door again and said: "We're invited."

And a head popped 'round again, and said, "Fuck Off!"

It was full of these, you know, young kids.

They were obviously very much into the band.

So we tried a third time, and eventualy another head came out the door and we said:

"Look, we really are invited along".

So they said: "Okay, you come in, but stand at the back!"

And there was a little bit of a scuffle, nothing much.

Generaly there was an atmosphere of antagonism, you know, of supressed violence.

I've known musicians to defend themselves if the thing goes onto the stage, But I've never seen musicians drop their instruments and sort of, sort of, dive in a small scrap and like extend it, and forget about the music.

You know, and I found that a bit much.

So, I went back two or three times after that, just to make sure that, um, you know, they were as bad as I thought they were the first time.

In fact a group that can't play is better then a group that can.

# If you could see... oh God, fuck off... #

# Ayanlouisiannayaya New Orleans #

# Awasabadababyanalittle key #

# Ayainanananananana Johnny B. Goode #

# Agogogogogogo Johnny B. Goode #

# Agogo, go Johnny, gogogogogo #

# I don't know the words! #

# Gogogogogogogogogogogyogyuh #

# Ayayayayastrah yayastrahyayaya #

# Ayayayayastrah andabanayaya #

# I wannawannabay, yayayaya #

# Let's gogo, ago Johnny gogogogo #

# Agogo, go go go go gogogogogogogogogogogogogogo #

# Go, Johnny, go, go #

# Go! Johnny B. Goode #

# Ayayayayayayayayayayayagwuah #

# Oh, fuck, it's awful! #

# Hate songs like that! #

Now, you're in the most important position of all, one in which you are able to sign with the most prestigious company in the world.

Don't commit until the last minute, when you finaly come to sign, forget about the future, get as much money as possible, on the dotted line.

Then demand a big party, get all photographers there, make sure it's an important event for them.

Be as obstructive as possible Helen, in order to fulfill the record company's wildest dreams; that they are obtaining the bargain of the century.

Malcolm McLaren CASH FROM CHAOS -

The english autumn was closing in, and so was I.

I was calling on the cunt.

His rambling gothic hideaway on the slopes of Highgate cemetery, overlooked the tomb of Karl Marx, and the bedroom of Lyndsey de Paul.

I had to give it to him, his taste was improving.

Ahoy Malcolm?

There was some old tart at the Joanna.


Nice, very nice!

Who the fuck are you?

My name is Dona De Brett.

And i gave a few lessons to Johnny Rotten, years ago before the group in fact began.

Malcolm Mclaren sent him up to me, and um, with the very worthy idea of teaching him a little about voice production.

I'd say to him, "You start one of your songs", i don't recognise any of these they're all since um, since my day.

But suposing, just suposing, that he took, um, Submission.

And he decided that, um, he would sing

Okay so he might sing that, and i'd say 'right', now i know where we are.

And by the time i was ready, he would have changed key.

No way, absolutly no way, could we pick up a note Where-as, there, um, um, erstwhile, their manager, erstwhile, Malcolm Mclaren came up here.

Beautiful ear, he should have been a singer.

It was time to find someone who can read more than music.

I was sure, those letters from the safe, held the key to the swindle.

LESSON 4. DO NOT PLAY DON'T GIVE THE GAME AWAY -

# You need hands to hold someone you care for #

# You need hands to show that you're sincere #

# When you feel the nobody wants to know you #

# You need hands to brush away the tears #

# When you hold a brand new baby #

# You need tender hands to guide them on their way #

# You need hands to thank the lord for living #

# and for giving us this day. #


CASH FROM CHAOS

Was all going smoothly now, our record company were footing the bill for a nationwide tour.

The only problem being - the Sex Pistols, a band that couldn't play.

I must admit i was a bit stumped at this point but fortune played into our hands.

The record company came up with the Bill Grundy show.

It was my task to make absolutely sure, that none of us would ever return to normality.

You dirty sod.

You dirty old man.

Keep going, go on, you've got another five seconds, say something outrageous.

You dirty fucker. Clever boy.

What a fucking rotter. Well that's it for tonight.

CENSORED BY THAMES TV The show was live the lads were lively, i invited them to shock me, they did Some people were upset by what those loutish lads said, but it did provide front pages like these.

Carry on lads, swearing or performing Shut up, shut up!

I personaly have spoke to the, the eh, manager of the group, who tells me that the Sex Pistols will not perform before the councilors unless we're prepared to come here this evening to see the whole of the show, which we are not prepared to do.

The commitee have decided that the concert of the sex pistols, they will not perform here tonight, but we are quite agreeable that the 3 other groups that have already been booked will go on.

You're sick on stage, you spit at the audiance and so on.

How can this be a good example to children?

Well, people are sick everywhere, people are sick and fed up of this country.

Telling them what to do. But not getting paid for it?

Pardon?

But not getting paid for putting on that sort of public show.

Well nor are we, we aint even being allowed to play...

Makes ya sick dun' it.

Sorry. My personal view on punk rock is that it's nauseating, disgusting, degrading, gastly, sleazy, prurient, voyeuristic and generally nauseating.

I think that just about covers it as far as i'm concerned.

Um, I think most of these groups would be vastly improved by sudden death.

The worst of the punk rock groups i suppose currently, are the Sex Pistols.

They are unbelievably nauseating, they are the antithesis of human-kind.

I would like to see somebody dig a very very large, exceedingly deep hole and drop the whole bloody lot down it.

You know, I think the whole world will be vastly improved by their total and utter non-existence.

Huh, have mercy.

The press is a bleedin' riot today, init?

What are you trying to do about it? Make it work.

You have to expect nothing, you get nothing.

You start off in school and they take your soul away , they take your brains away.

You're not allowed to have an opinion that differs from thiers.

You've got to think what they tell you to think.

So when you leave school your only future is getting married and by the time you're about 29 you've got two kids you just want to commit suicide.

# I've seen you in the mirror when the story began #

# And I fell in love with you I love your mortal sin #

# Your brains are locked away but I love your company #

# I only ever leave you when you got no money #

That's it.

Read that through Sophie so we can understand what it's about.

"Dear Sounds, why do you devout so much space to the appalling Sex Pistols?

I thought we were trying to cut out violence at concerts, football matches and where-ever.

It's these sick bastards who encourage it.

You just have to look at their audience, i doubt if they've got one 'O Level' between them."

Yeah, that's not bad Soph.

But we gota make fucking sure that we can create enough stink to whip up real hatred before that record comes out.

Have you got a name for this one, i'm fed up with sending letters to the poxy music press.

# I got no emotions for anybody else #

# You better understand I'm in love with myself, #

# Myself, my beautiful self #

# A no feelings #

# A no feelings #

# A no feelings #

# For anybody else #

# Sleep in heavenly peace #

We hope tonight, by this protest to make Wales know, and time for people of this town know, that we do protest and it is by no fault of ours, that this thing has come to Caerphilly.

We have done everything humanly possible to ban this thing and to stop it.

And as we have not been able to we have done the last thing possible to stand here in open protest to let you now that we are responsible and we are doing all we can to set an example in leadership and in every other way for free living, home-ly living and pure living.

The thing is they're outside, freezing.

We're in here, we're all right.

Caerphilly didn't quite what to expect so took no chances.

Pubs and cafes were closed before and after the concert.

On decible points the Sex Pistols won, on numbers it was a victory for the carol singers.

Excuse me Sir, can i ask you why you're here tonight?

Because i'm, um, recognise as a christian.

Nevermind about christianity, i think it's, well, degrading and disgusting for our children to hear and see such things.

Eh, I got teenage daughters, and, eh, youngsters, they went and went to Rod Stewart but i wouldnt let them go to see this rubbish.

If i thought one of mine was in there, i'd go in there and drag them out.

Terrible I think it is, i think it's disgusting.

It's, well, it's lowering the standard of our people in Caerphilly.

# What you see, you can get #

# Nothing's free, nothing's said #

# Don't be fooled by the signs #

# Don't read in between the lines #

# What you're gonna say #

# What you're gonna do #

# Now you've missed out once again #

# But I thought you knew #

# Oh you silly thing #

# You've really gone and done it now #

# Oh you silly thing #

300% PROOF AIRPORT


PISTOLS SACKED

JUST SUCKED


I should have known, it was a Rock 'N' Roll swindle all along.

Mclaren had spent a fucking long time with these record hippys.

It can't all have been breaking whiskey bottles over their bleedin' desks.

The deals were too good to be true.

I was sure ??Noel was there??, the freckled face cunt.

The Sex Pistols - a walking abortion.

The Sex Pistols are nothing but a bunch of irresponsible, half-dead lumps.

But the best are born.

I was only in it for the birds after the show.

You, Steve Jones, are nothing but a walking dildo doing a good plumbing job.

You'd swim through a river of snot, wade nostril deep through a mile of vomit, as long as you thought there was a sexy cunt at the end of it and those cunts!

Daddy's girl!

Daddy's girls are in awe of the Sex Pistols!

They really believe that what they're grooving on bores them to shit!

Daddy's girls are just hot water bottles with tits.

Why are they so fucking successful, the Sex Pistols?

And the Sex Pistols like death, it excites them sexually.

In the end, you see, it all comes down to one thing: they have a sort of negative Midas touch.

Everything they touch turns to shit!

I gota hand it to Malcolm, he certanly brought the punk out in me.

Hi. Evening Malcolm.

I hope theres no guest list tonight, no record executives, remember, I don't want any journalists, none of those bloody vampires, just the kids.

You'll be away Malcolm.

Good enough, I'm gona pop in and have a beer.

They're jumping live in there tonight.

-Hi -Alright!

Punkrockers, lesson 5.

How to steal as much money as quickly as possible from the record company of you choice, you dig it?

And here they are, 'Black Arabs'.


It was inevitable; disco.

Malcolm always was a hustler, he bought out a taty jet set dive in ol' Bond Street, makin' ends meet in the disco heat.

Membership only tonight. I'm on the guest list.

There's no guest list tonight. I wana see Malcolm.

Malcolm who? Malcolm McLaren, you know who i mean.

What's your name? Jones.

Jones what? Steve.

Ask Nolan if he knows Steve Jones?

Steve Jones? You want me to go right now?

Right now!

You hand on there.

Hi In ya go son, straight away.

Right thereon the left.

Straight through straight on through there, goon then, enjoy yourselves, go on.

WHO KILLED BAMBI?

Next step is to get off the record label quick as possible give the record company any excuse but just make sure you ripped them off for as much money as you can.

Switch the groups misbehaviour in public, bullshit the record company, making them believe that you are an anarcist.

One week after EMI dumped the Sex Pistols, A&M records picked them up.

And staged a contract signing ceremony in front of Buckingham Palace.

At this point, the Sex Pistols, despite having been fired, were not exactly suffering.

Before EMI could get rid of them, it had to buy off the contract, and that cost the company a reported L25.000.

And here they were signing a new contract that could make them a lot of money, and they already had a song to record for A&M in honour of the Queens jubilee.

They did not record it, not at least for A&M records.

They never recorded anything for A&M.

Acording to the story, after this happy signing ceremony everyone went back to A&M offices to celebrate.

# She was a girl from Birmingham #

# She just had an abortion #

# She was case of insanity #

# Her name was Pauline, she lived in a tree #

# She was a no one who killed her baby#

# She sent her letters from the country #

# She was an animal #

# She was a bloody disgrace #

# Body! #

# I'm not an animal #

# Body! #

# I'm not an animal #

# Dragged on a table in factory #

# Illegitimate place to be #

# In a packet in a lavatory #

# Die little baby screaming #

# Body! #

# Screaming fucking bloody mess #

# Not an animal #

# It's an abortion #

# Body! #

# I'm not animal #

# Mummy! I'm not an abortion #

# Throbbing squirm, #

# gurgling bloody mess #

# I'm not a discharge #

Push drugs, sex and any other stories to the papers, just make sure headlines are coming quick and fast.

You know, for my point of view, I feel that we're like some contageous disease.

You know that, eh, is totaly misunderstood.

I mean, when you walk in and out of a company, and the guy just gives you: "Look just take this money and don't come back"

What are you supposed to think about that?

Have you had the money?

Yes, they gave us the cheque last night.

And you couldn't - you didn't don't believe it was on, you couldnt..?

It just shows the hypocrisy, makes it very clear where their heads are at.

Nowhere I was asking Malcolm earlier..

To give away that much money for nothing, classic stupidity Ok, leave it to me.

..he dont want of his pals, come on!

What do you mean,?? he's my fucking manager.

That's your problem! Come on. Don't fuck with me!

What do you mean,?? he's my fucking manager??

Now Get out!

You thought you'd gotten rid of us didn't you?

But you are old bean because were back, with a vengance.

God save the queen, my son!

LESSON 6:

HOW TO BECOME THE WORLD'S GREATEST TOURIST ATTRACTION? -

Helen, never trust a hippy.

Look for the current event, in our case we chose the jubilee.

And exploited it to the hilt.

If you play your cards right...

There's the tosspot mouthin' off again, up there.

You can capture the imagination of the entire world.

Ever get the feeling you're being trapped?

Banned on the land, we decided to play our tribute to the Queen, from the river.

Between the hours of 6 and 8 pm the Sex Pistols play their songs.

Beneath the bridges of London!


# God save the queen #

# The fascist regime #

# They made you a moron #

# Potential H-bomb #

# God save the queen #

# She ain't no human being #

# There is no future #

# In England's dreaming #

# Don't be told what you want Don't be told what you need #

# There's no future, no future, #

# No future for you #

# God save the queen #

# We mean it man #

# We love our queen #

# God saves #

# God save the queen #

# 'Cause tourists are money #

# And our figurehead #

# Is not what she seems #

# Oh God save history #

# God save your mad parade #

# Oh Lord God have mercy #

# All crimes are paid #

# When there's no future How can there be sin #

# We're the flowers in the dustbin #

# We're the poison in your human machine #

# We're the future, your future #

# God save the queen #

# We mean it man #

# We love our queen #

# God saves #

They arrested Malcolm!

# God save the queen #

# We mean it man #

# And there is no future #

# In England's dreaming #

# No future, #

# No future, #

# No future for you #

# No future, #

# No future, #

# No future for me #

# No future, #

# No future, #

# No future for you #

# No future, no future, No future for me! #

Halfway Down the Stairs At Seven: The Alessi Brothers and Oh Lori At Number six: Emerson, Lake & Palmer and Fanfare for the Common Man At Five: The Electric Light Orchestra Phone Line Four: Stranglers - Peaches Three: Queen - Lover Boy Two: Eagles - Hotel California The Sex Pistols' current record, 'God Save The Queen' is at number 1 at the capital hitline today, but the I.B.A. which administers The Broadcasting Act, has advised us that particularly at this time, this record is likely to cause offense to a number of our listeners, and have asked us not to play it in our normal programming.

However, we will be playing this record, with the authorities approval, at 7:30pm tonight on ??Brian Wills open line??

And will welcome your views about the Punk Rock phenomena, which this is part of.


# There's no point in asking, you'll get no reply #

# Oh just remember I don't decide #

# I got no reason it's all too much #

# You'll always find us #

# out to lunch #

# Oh we're so pretty, oh so pretty #

# we're vacant #

# Oh we're so pretty, oh so pretty #

# A vacant #

# Don't ask us to attend 'cos we're not all there #

# Oh don't pretend 'cos I don't care #

# I don't believe illusions 'cos too much is real #

# So stop you're cheap comment #

# 'cos we know what we feel #

# Oh we're so pretty, oh so pretty #

# We're vacant #

# Oh we're so pretty, oh so pretty #

# A vacant #

# Oh we're so pretty, oh so pretty ah #

# But now and we don't care #

# There's no point in asking you'll get no reply #

# Oh just remember a don't decide #

# I got no reason it's all too much #

# You'll always find me out to lunch #

# We're out on lunch #

# out on lunch #

# Oh we're so pretty Oh so pretty #

# We're vacant #

# Oh we're so pretty Oh so pretty #

# We're vacant #

# Oh we're so pretty Oh so pretty ah #

# But now and we don't care #

# We're pretty #

# A pretty vacant #

# We're pretty #

# A pretty vacant #

# We're pretty #

# A pretty vacant #

# We're pretty #

# A pretty vacant #

# And we don't care #

It was amazing, you couldn't see this group play, you couldn't hear them on the radio.

If you wanted to buy the record it was impossible.

But yet this group had become the world greatest tourist atraction.

And was fast become Englands public enemy number 1.

Instantly recognized wherever they went.

Literally prevented from walking the streets.

I Remember ol' Johnny, got cut up real bad, jumped by thugs.

God Save the Queen, eh, John?

Noel C??, when he came back home with his head all covered in blood.

I knew then that i'd really cracked it boy who was marvelous really.

# Look at that #

# Here she comes #

# Here comes that girl again #

# One of the cutest since I don't know when #

# But she don't notice me when I pass #

# She goes with all the guys from outta my class #

# But that can't stop me from thinkin' to myself #

# She's sure fine lookin', man, she's something else #

# Look at that #

# 'Cross the street #

# There's a car built just for me #

# To own a car would be a luxury #

# But right now I can't afford the gas #

# A brand new convertible is out of my class #

# But that can't stop me from thinkin' to myself #

# That car's fine lookin', man, it's something else #

# Hey, look at that #

# Just wait and see #

# Worked hard and saved my dough #

# I buy that car and then I roll up with Joe #

# Get me that girl and we go ridin' around #

# We look real sharp with the wide top down #

# I keep on dreamin' and thinkin' to myself #

# When it all comes true, man, that's something else #

# Hey, look at that #

# What's all this? #

# Never thought I'd do this before #

# But here I'm a-knockin' on her door #

# My car's out front and it's all mine #

# It's a '41 job not a '59 #

# I got that girl and I'm thinkin' to myself #

# She's sure fine lookin', man, she's something else #

It made sense, McLaren had never stoped talking about that record convention in Hove.

They'll have more whip rounds than a pub crawl And he's clean up with his fashionable rubber gear.

Now i find myself in a respectable backstreet off King's Cross Station, Looking for the Cambridge Rapist Hotel.

Client number 1 was Mamie Records boss, Ed Berg.

Awaiting trial on a child molesting charge.

I'd love to see him nailed, but i'd a funny feeling that either way he'd always get off.

I promised to sign a band a week.

And that's excatly what i'm gonna do.

Never mind the signing Mr Berg, where's Malcolm Mclaren then?

Mclaren?

He's never gonna work again.

The Sex Pistols are finished, over!

Yeah, they's filthy rich though aint they?

We don't take risks in this bussiness anymore.

We don't need to.

You dirty old man.

You were lucky last year, when we swallowed it.

I remember sitting at home with me wife and kids thinking it over.

What a fucking rotter.

Anarchy dropped out of the top 20.

It was dead.

Yeah, but where were you last night, Mr. Berg?

Did you bum it up with that new group you got, the Black Arabs?

Rock n roll can mean anything we want it to mean.

Peace and love, bringing people together, it can get rid of politics, it can be art, it's automatic, it's just the beat.

Big money, the normal promotion of records isn't fun.

Hello Judy.

I was getting no where fast, a chamber maid crossed my path.

I took it out on her, i don't know why, she couldn't talk if she tried.

Where is Malcolm? He owns the gaff dun he?

Every room was a dead end, i needed to relax.

# I'm left in misery, the girl I love's gone across the sea #

# I'm all alone, I ain't got no home #

# Mandy was her name, sleepin' was her game #

# She didn't care about me, oh, God, baby can't you see #

# I'm a lonely boy. I'm a lonely boy. #

# I'm a lonely boy. I'm a lonely boy. #

# I need her tender touch, oh, I need it oh so much. #

# I'm a lonely boy. I'm a lonely boy. #

# I'm a lonely boy. I'm a lonely boy. #

# Oh my darlin' can't you see you're the one that means so much to me. #

# I know I need you're tender touch, oh, I need it oh so much. #

***********************************************

By the way Steve, if you're looking for Malcolm, he'll be on the 6.15 out of Marylebone station.

Sydney, this is the receiver speaking. Okay, ready to rock!

Thanks a lot.

# Well c'mon everybody and let's get together tonight #

Cor blimey, Jesus Christ Helen what platform is it?

Platform three.

# But I'm gonna dance with three or four #

# And the house will be shakin' from the bare feet A-stampin' on the floor #

I'll see ya in a few minutes, i've just gotta do something.

# Well, we're really gonna party But we gotta leave a guard outside #

OUT OF ORDER (VANDALISM)

LESSON 7 CULTIVATE HATRED, IT IS YOUR GRATEST ASSET -

Force the public to hate you.

Here at home, create a tour that no one can turn up to.

Throw the groups name away, and leave a question mark in its place.

Create confusion.

The Sex Pistols made sure that they failed to turn up at certain venues.

Spreading false rumours wherever they could.

# Ooh! C'mon everybody #

You know, we encouraged all those kids to travel all over the country without em never having the slightest chance of seeing the band play.

# Who cares? #

But above all we prevented the press from determining whether the band could actualy play.

And from questioning their now growing stature.

Well Helen, remember: We were now a legend.

# Well c'mon everybody and let's get together tonight #

# I got some money in my jeans #

# And I'm really gonna spend it right #

# Well I've been doin' my homework all week long #

# Now to have some fifty and my folk are gone #

# Ooh! C'mon everybody #

Isn't that Bill Jacobs? No.

LESSON 8 HOW TO DIVERSITY YOUR BUSINESS... WHAT A BUSINESS.

I got an important gig tonight, i want to be alone.


Momy, Momy, come quick someones killed Bambi!


Step on it, Byron.

We got a plane to catch at Hindley airport.

Why remain just a Rock N Roll star?

Malcolm! Open up!

You don't just have a group that can't play.

You also have four actors that cant act.

What do you mean i cant act?

Don't think in tens, think in hundreds and thousends of pounds.

Come out of your closet.

We opened officed and bank accounts overseas, now worldwide organizations, it was difficult to avoid the temptation of working with criminals enganged in embezzling huge sums of money from international corporations.

But i much say their expertise really took our film investers for a ride.

So simple, collecting thousands of pounds of cash each week from our record company on the basis of a script that was so disgusting it just couldn't possibly be made.

Who killed bambi?

I kept my mouth shut, collected L250,000.

Having got a fortune for doing nothing, the final problem was how to enjoy it.

And get out of this stupid rock n roll circus.

Eventualy, we signed to the Americans.

For more money,

than all the other record companies put together.

These bloody barbarians who invented rock n roll were naturally curious about what the Sex Pistols were all about and wanted their image exposed accross the whole united states.

Initially i admit i didnt want to go, we were sloppy and abusive in our applications at the embassy ensuring that the Visas would be refused, Bob Carter was in poland and those damn hippies were demanding freedom of speech.

Nobody better than us anyway.

Except for The Eagles, The Eagles are better than us.

The idea was to get lost in the swamps and the badlands, making it impossible for the legend to be unmasked.

Life is so intensely profound you know like the Sex Pistols are they just, their lyrics and everything about them is so deep you can just really get into them.

One, two, three, four!

Cheap holiday in other people's misery.

# I don't wanna holiday in the sun #

# I wanna go to new Belsen #

# I wanna see some history #

# 'Cause now I got a reasonable economy #

# Now I got a reason, now I got a reason #

# Now I got a reason and I'm still waiting #

# Now I got a reason #

# Now I got reason to be waiting #

# The Berlin Wall #

If this is what the american youth look up to, if this is what they believe in, then we are in sad shape.

# So bad #

# Be a man #

# Join the army #

# Kill someone #

# Kill yourself #

# Kill someone #

# Join the army #

# Kill yourself #

# Be a man. #

# A real man. #

***************************************************************

# A Hero. #

Faggots!

Leave him alone you bastards!

Leave him alone!

As far as i'm concerned, they're not worth killing.

I just came up and upset the bass player because i knew that he knew that i meant physical harm. And i have to say that I was ugly about it.

But he came out and hit us over the head with a bass.

# It's not funny, there's no fun #

# Head being alone, no fun! #

# Noooo Fuuuuun! #

# No Fuuuun! #

# No Fuuuuuuuuuuun! #

# No Fuun! No Fuuun! #


Our cover was blown.

For the first time our publicity had worked against us.

We had become the most important name after the president of the United States.

And that night, in Winterland, in San Francisco.

The Sex Pistols played to the whole world.

It wasn't a rock n roll party.

Was more like a dying horse that needed putting out of its misery.

We raised that horses head and choked the living daylights out of it.


Ever get the feeling you're been cheated?

Jesus, Byron! Is this it?

This is it Malcolm.

Hindley airfield.

Battle of Britain station.

Take off in 10 minutes Malcolm. Alright.

LESSON 9 WHO KILLED BAMBI?

Oi, can you stop here please, i want to see Malcolm fly away.

Haven't seen you since our second sacking.

Good afternoon.

Why did the Sex Pistols break up on the brink of being a successful rock n roll band?

Why?

Because we seized our chance in San Francisco to frame our singer, leaving him with the contracts and us with the money.

Johnny Rotten claims that he's been fired from the group? Is that true?

Yes it is, but let me first explain.

In order to gain everything, you have to sarcrifice something.

In America, our record company was working inside our camp.

Encouraging Johnny Rotten's pretensions as some rock n roll superstar.

We let them and they lapped it up of course.

But eventualy he started working for the other side.

And what do you call people like that in your country, monsieur?

Collaborators.

How much has been made out all this? What? Can't hear yah.

How much money has been made out of all this?

So far my secretary said it was L779,000.

****************************************************************

I have no idea, and i don't give a shit about the Americans.

Sure, and just how far have you gone in planning this whole afair?

Ever since i was 10 years old.

Ever since Elvis Presley joined the army!

In the minds of the Sex Pistols would you say that Punk Rock is finally dead.

Haha, that's the most laughable question i've heard this year.

Who killed Bambi?

Bollocks!

He left the country in a light aircraft.

The film had better be good Malcolm, or i give you a good fucking kicking when you get back.

# Gentle pretty thing Who only had one spring #

# You bravely faced the world Ready for anything #

# I'm happy that you lived For your life is mine #

# What have I except to cry Spirit never die #

# Birds of the air Beasts of the earth #

# Overjoyed at Bambi's birth they gambolled in the glade #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? #

Excuse me!

Hold up? humphrey?

Why on earth are we going to see the Sex Pistols film.

I let to see pogo dance, very good.

We just look.

You my friend, everything they want.

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? #

The sinking ship of rock n roll is going to have a tough task recovering for the terminal body blow dealt it by the sex pistols.

These four, unloveable spiky tops, swindle their way to the top.

They didn't care about the music. They were purly into chaos.

Across the globe they achieved a notority in 19 languages.

On fleet street they sold more papers than the armistice.

In the city voted young bussinessman of the year by the investers review.

Yes, 1977 and the four sex pistols had never had it so good.

All this, a number 1 album, four hit singeles; but then.

Sid Vicious - hospitalized. Johnny Rotten - fired.

Punk Rock became a new wave for Paul Cook and Steve Jones, it had to be Brasil.

Europe's more wanted man the great train robber Ronnie Biggs!

Jesus!

See that, it's me!

Gee i'd really fancy a Sex Pistol.

Halo, who is it?

Weve come to see. Open up.

Ere, who is this an army ariving?

Hold on.

Hello. Hi.

You're the Sex Pistols are ya? There you are.

You don't look anything like Johnny Rotten.

Don't fucking want to!

You know, if you didn't swear like that you could be another Spencer Tracy.

I supose you want to ask the famous question, where's all the money?

Where is it? Where is it all?

I done it down the boozer, didn't i?

How much did you get away with then, all together?

Two and a half million.

Were on our way were on our way...

We'll soon be up with ya.

How much have you made?

Well weve got ***, you didnt get any Crime is strickly for mugs. Yes.

Get in to the pop word, thats the thing to do.

Don't go round nicking bike and things like that, get yourself a guitar the honest way.

Legaly, or whatever.

This one looks so fit now, she looks like a cat burglar or something.

I dont believe that Oh no no no!

Nobody believe it until they see me. What ** the cambridge rapist.

A Cheap holiday in other peoples misery!

# I don't wanna holiday in the sun #

# I wanna go to new Belsen #

# I wanna see some history #

# 'Cause now I got a reasonable economy #

# Now I got a reason, now I got a reason #

# Now I got a reason and I'm still waiting #

# Now I got reason #

# Now I got reason to be waiting #

# The Berlin Wall #

Halo, Sex Pistols?

Yeah. Who is working Fuhrer now?

I dont know, dont ask me.

I , Martin Bormann, wish to be this man.

This is diabolical.

Come back Jess Conrad, all is forgiven Makes me look like Lawrence Olivier, this lot.

Come on, Come on Mary, mari, Maria.

I'm not having you watching this rubbish.

Just sit down. Sit down!

Come on! Come on Mary, this ... thanks i've eaten already!


See that, i wernt just a sex pistol, i was the one who started it.

Come down here, i'll tell ya what it was all about.

Le importa pedir permiso !

Toma una hamburguesa, yo invito.

How did you have so much success?

We used to nick all our gear in the beginning.

We didnt have, we didnt have enough money to pay for it so we used to nick it off people like David Bowie.

How did, how did you manage to... would you like to, sort of, give me some information exactly how you used to steal, id very very interested as a professional What was your first job as a crook?

As a crook? Woolworths.

Woolworths?

What did you do in Woolworths? Pens and pencils.

Pens and pencils? No rubbers?

Okay, don't use rubbers presumably?

How much bread did you get from EMI?

Bout, £55,000 publishing fee.

Get together and start composing some music If i wrote the words for example, would you possibly write the music?

Yeah easy.

# God save the sex pistols they're a bunch of wholesome blokes #

# They just like wearing filthy clothes and swapping filthy jokes #

# God save television keep the programms pure #

# God save William Grundy from falling in manure #

# Ronnie Biggs was doing time until he done a bunk #

# Now he says he's seen the light and he sold his soul to punk #

# God save Martin Boorman and nazis on the run #

# They wasn't being wicked God that was their idea of fun #

# God save Myra Hindley God save Ian Brady #

# Even though he's horrible and she ain't what you call a lady #

# Ronnie Biggs was doing time until he done a bunk #

# Now he says he's seen the light and he sold his soul to punk #

I'm Martin Bormann, *******************************

... Hasta que no dejo rastro.

Ahora dice que vio la luz ...

Oi!

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? #

# Who killed Bambi? #

Oh shut up tadpole, you'll give yourself a kanipshin.

I say, guess what? We got one of them Sex Pistols in there.

What in there?

Yeah, the one that plays the detective in the film.

I thought they were in Brasil.

Well he's in here now. kicking up the most gosh awful fuss, i had to tell him.

Well i'll have a word with him when ge gets out, alright?

Alright.

Le vas a tener que poner los puntos, espero que lo reconozca.

Steven, steven i found it. Allright well let's fucking hear it then.

Here. Oh that's alright lets have that then.

Yeah, schnell, schnell ***********. For a solution we have to go up the ***

For Belsen was a gaser.

# Belsen was a gas I heard the other day #

# In the open graves where the Jews all lay #

# Life is fun and I wish you were here #

# They wrote on postcards to those oh dear #

# Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! #

# Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! #

# Dentist search their teeth for gold # Frisk the Jews for bank notes rolled

# When they found out what they got Line them up and shoot the lot #

# Kill a man, be a man, kill a man... #

# Kill a man, be a man, kill a man... #


********************************************

# Wonder what the Jews would say If I told them where Boorman was today #

# Would they start a vendetta You'd better ask Ernie Ledbetter #

# Ledbetter, Ledbetter, Ledbetter... #

# Ledbetter, Ledbetter, Ledbetter... #

*******************************************

*******************************************

Heil!

ON SALE IN THE FOYER NOW If you like their pop music, you love their pop-corn.

It's pure punk.

Remember, how Johnny got his name?

Prise out your fillings on a chewy rotten bar.

Thirsty for a change? Quench it with Anarkee-ora.

Feeling uptight, violent or tense?

Why not take it out on a sizzling vicious burger?

The gristle bowl that gives as good as it gets.


Oh! Sidney Vicious!

***************************************************************************

What? What? What you want? You want some of that?


Sid Vicious, es un hombre maravilloso.

What a wonderful fool, never have i met one like him.

Hey Steve, how did you get thrown off A&M?

Was it for beating up Bob Harris? Did Sid do that?

I raped one of the birds down their offices.

Sex Pistol! You fucking want you cunt?

Pack it in you two, you're annoying our clientele.

Oi, Tadpole. Wake up!

You'll have to go in theredear, it's getting a bit much, i can't cope.

Sid Vicious now waiting trial for murder, we talk to him and examine the system that has perhaps destroyed him.

Here, it's Sid Vicious has been arrested.

And not before time, you coming?

Ladies and gentlemen, i have the honor to present to you, for the first time in France, Sid Vicious.

I can't believe it's my Sid, up there.

# And now, the end is near #

# And so I face the final curtain #

# You cunt, I'm not a queer #

# I'll state my case of which I'm certain #

# I've lived a life that's full #

# And each and every highway #

# And that, much more than this #

# I did it my way #

# Regrets I've had a few #

# But then again, too few to mention #

# I did what I had to do #

# I saw it through without exemption #

# I've planned each charted course #

# Each careful step along the highway #

# And more, much more than this #

# I did it my way #

# There were times, #

# I'm sure you knew #

# When there was fuck, fuck #

# Fuck all else to do #

# But through it all, #

# When there was doubt #

# I shot it up #

# or kicked it out #

# I faced 'em all and the world #

# And did it my way #

# I've loved and been a snide #

# I've had my fill, my share of losing #

# And now the tears subside #

# I find it all so amusing #

# To think, I killed a cat #

# And might I say not in the die way #

# Oh no, oh no, not me #

# I did it my way #

# For what is a brat, #

# What has he got #

# When he wears hats and he cannot #

# Say the things he truly feels #

# But only the words #

# Of one who kneels #

# The record shows, #

# I've stuffed a bloke #

# And did it my way #


***********************************

# It was on the good ship Venus By Christ, you should've seen us #

# The figurehead was a whore in bed And the mast was a mammoth penis. #

# The captain of this lugger He was a dirty bugger #

# He wasn't fit to shovel shit From one place to another #

# Friggin' in the riggin' Friggin' in the riggin' #

# Friggin' in the riggin' There was fuck all else to do #

# The captain's name was Morgan By Christ, he was a gorgon #

# Ten times a day sweet tunes he'd play On his fucking organ #

# The first mate's name was Cooper By Christ he was a trooper.

# He jerked and jerked until he worked Himself into a stupor #

# Friggin' in the riggin' Friggin' in the riggin' #

# Friggin' in the riggin' There was fuck all else to do #

******************************************

# The second mate was Andy By Christ, he had a dandy #

# Till they crushed his cock with a jagged rock For cumming in the brandy #

# The cabin boy was Flipper He was a fucking nipper #

# He stuffed his ass with broken glass And circumcised the skipper #

# Friggin' in the riggin' Friggin' in the riggin' #

# Friggin' in the riggin' There was fuck all else to do #

# Friggin' in the riggin' Friggin' in the riggin' #

# Friggin' in the riggin' There was fuck all else to do #

# The Captain's wife was Mabel To fuck she was not able #

# So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits Across the barroom table #

# The Captain had a daughter Who fell in deep sea water #

# Delighted squeals revealed that eels Had found 'er sexual quarters #

# Friggin' in the riggin' Friggin' in the riggin' #

# Friggin' in the riggin' There was fuck all else to do #


VICIOUS FACES MURDER COURT VICIOUS HELD FOR MURDER DRUGS KILL PUNK STAR SID VICIOUS SID VICIOUS DEAD