The Great Train Robbery (1978) Script

In the year 1855, England and France were at war with Russia in the Crimea.

The English troops were paid in gold.

Once a month £25,000 in gold was loaded into strongboxes... inside the London bank of Huddleston and Bradford... and taken by trusted armed guards to the railway station.

The convoy followed no fixed route or timetable.

At the station the gold was loaded into the luggage van of the Folkestone train... for shipment to the coast and from there to the Crimea.

The strongboxes were placed in two specially built Chubb safes... constructed of three-quarter- inch tempered steel.

Each safe weighed 550 pounds.

Each safe was fitted with two locks requiring two keys,... or four keys altogether.

For security, each key was individually protected.

Two keys were entrusted to the railway dispatcher, who kept them in his office.

A third was in the custody of Mr Edgar Trent,... president of the Huddleston and Bradford.

And the fourth key was given to Mr Henry Fowler,... manager of the Huddleston and Bradford Bank.

The presence of so much gold in one place... naturally aroused the interests of the English criminal elements,... but in 1855 there had never been a robbery from a moving railway train.


Is he dead?

Mm.

Robbery? I'd hardly call it that... one poor fellow working alone.

He had no chance of success.

Indeed, speaking on behalf of the bank,...

I must inform you the matter was trivial and hardly worthy of our consideration.

I think I may say that without fear of contradiction.

The villain expired?

Quite. The guard threw him from the train at full speed.

He died instantly. Poor devil.

He's not been identified? I shouldn't think so.

The manner of his passing was such that his features were... disarrayed.

He was obviously after the Crimean gold.

Apparently. Speaking... This damnable war... will be the undoing of the nation. He's off again.

Unrest in the north, and now this ill-considered war with the Tsar.

What do you expect when one man in seven has the vote?

We have shopkeepers voting now!

And women next. If they get their way.

Women voting! Really!

This robbery had interesting... They haven't the capacity for logic.

Too emotional. Quite absurd. It's not their logical capacity I enjoy!

Even a good woman's too much trouble. Come, Arthur, they do have their uses.

Edward's got the proper view by not marrying at all.

Someone will catch him.

I know one or two with their eye on him. No one will catch Edward.

God knows what a man may catch in London if he's not married!

This thief on the train, Henry. Was there a risk of him stealing the gold?

None. Quite impossible. Nothing's impossible.

Utterly impossible. Two Chubb safes, four keys separately guarded. Impossible.

Still, I suppose it could be done. I can't imagine how.

A thief would have to get all four keys. Two are locked away in the station.

One is in the hands of our president, Mr Edgar Trent, who is utterly reliable.

I don't know where Mr Trent keeps his key but I know of the fourth,... for I am myself entrusted with guarding it.

Damn it, Henry, when are you going to tell us where you've hidden your key?

I keep it about my neck. I wear it at all times.

Even when bathing?

Even while bathing. It never leaves my person.

Clever. Most ingenious.

So you see, to get all four keys... quite impossible.

The Crimean gold and all the bank's other transactions are entirely safe.

Thank God for that.

You may count on it, Edward. Count on it.

Who do those men think you are? Edward Pierce. A sharp businessman.

A sharp businessman? That covers a multitude of sins.

It does among that group.

And what's your business?

It's not really clear. I've made a great deal of money in coal, in the north.

Have you? Oh, yes, I have. I'm quite well-off.

Are you?

I think so. I've... made something of myself.

Do they believe all that?

Among sharp businessmen one doesn't ask too many questions.

Do they know of your interest in the theatre?

An unmarried gentleman must amuse himself.

Must he? Oh, yes, he must.

Did they mention the train?

Mm-hm.

What did they say?

They all agreed that it was impossible.

Simply impossible.

You like that?

I can tell it excites you. Mm-hm.


Oh! Are you all right?

Nice pull.

Not bad, if I do say so myself. You look well.

Yes. How was the touch?

You saw it, didn't you?

Or was I so fast you couldn't see it?

I saw.

Did you wire her? No, just my hands.

Hummingbirds.

Thinking of a job, then? I may have one or two little things.

Those one or two little things... Could they be crib jobs?

They could.

Bit dicey, are they? Very dicey.

Is it dipping or keys? Keys.

Wax or a straightaway haul? Wax.

You didn't do the Berkeley Hills job, did you?

Berkeley Hills? Shit job.

A shit job? Well, they're clean with 2,000 guineas gone.

No. I was thinking of something bigger.

This wax. On the fly? Mm-hm.

Then I'm your man.

The fastest screwsman you'll ever see. So I heard.

What's it to be, then? First we must case a square-rigged gent.

Good night.

Mr Edgar Trent,... president of the Huddleston and Bradford Bank,... follows an inflexible routine,... departing the bank at the end of each day promptly at 7 pm.

Mr Trent resides at number seven Belgrave Square.

It's a mansion of 23 rooms, not including servants' quarters.

His second wife, Emily, is 30 years his junior... and with her unmarried stepdaughter she runs the household very strictly.

There are ten servants employed.

Coachman, butler, gardener, doorman, cook and two maids.

All the servants are content and can't be bribed.

Dogs? Two. Terriers. Walks 'em twice a day.

Seven in the morning and 8.15 at night.

Children? Five.

Three at home. The youngest is a boy who sleepwalks.

Which creates a commotion.

No point in cracking a 23-room house until we find out where the key is.

The person who knows where that key is is Mr Trent.

Really?

He must have a weakness. Gambling, drink... Women?

Well, hello!

No, no, no.

No!

No respectable gentleman is that respectable.


He's a ratting gent. Indeed he is.

Thank you, gentlemen, please! Mind your back there, sir!

Thank you! Excuse me, sir!

Nothing but the finest, gentlemen.

Every one country-born and bred, not a water ditch among 'em.

Who wants to try a rat? Come on, gents. Who wants to try a rat?

15 of your best for my fancy.

Weigh the fancy of Mr T. A very sporting gentleman.

Let Mr T's fancy dog through. There you are.

14 pounds. 14 pounds is Mr T's fancy dog.

And he's called for a try at 15 rats.

Shall it be three minutes, Mr T? Yes.

Three minutes it is. You may wager as you feel fit.

Get him his 15, Tom.

You win some, you lose some.

Are you ready? Ready!

And... go!


Time, gentlemen. Three minutes!

Get the dog out. Get the dog out. Thank you, gentlemen.

Pay your debts. Who's next?

Come on! Any man fancy his fancy?

A sporting chap. You win one or two, you lose one or two.

Who's going to be next to try the finest country-bred rats that money can buy?

May I join you?

If you like.

Lover wasn't at his best. He lacked bustle. But he came up well enough.

My Lover will fight again. Indeed.

And I shall wager upon him again when he does.

Did you lose much? Ten guineas. A trifle.

Ten guineas!

Well, I'm pleased you take it so lightly.

I admire a man who may keep a fancy and sport him.

I should do so myself were I not so often abroad on business.

Whenever I'm gone, my wife looks after the animals.

I fear I've been too devoted to business these past few years.

I've never married.

Of course, I should like to. Of course.

It's so hard to meet a suitable girl.

What are you constructing? A water wheel. Delightful.

Especially with the rusted curve of the water wheel itself. Don't you agree?

We are building the rusted wheel at considerable expense.

It is constructed of previously rusted metal. The craftsmen are ingenious.

But we must wait for the weeds to grow before it takes on the proper appearance.

Oh, I'm sure it'll be a handsome ruin.

Where is Elizabeth?

I have passed many pleasant hours here... watching the workmen fit each piece into its precise slot.

Such skill.

They screw it together?

No, bolt it, actually, with long bolts. Fitted tightly.

Yes. Long bolts, fitted tightly.

I've just returned from America, a country of many prominent erections.

It is exciting to see things come together.

So long as the quality does not suffer.

Tight-fitting joints. That's the secret.

It is so rare these days.

It depends on the skill of the workman, of course.

And he must have the proper tools.

Ah, my darling daughter!

Now may I present Mr Edward Pierce? My daughter Elizabeth.

Miss Trent, you've taken me completely by surprise.

I cannot tell if that's to my advantage.

I can assure you it is, wholly.

Would you try one of these, Mr Pierce? With gratitude.

Er...

We are just discussing the ruins, Elizabeth.

It's coming along so nicely. That dreadful ruin. I can't bear it.

They've taken away so many flowers.

You're fond of flowers?

More tea, Mr Pierce? Ah, yes.

Yes, I supervise the planting of all the flowers in the garden.

What there is left of it.

I'm especially fond of the primroses.

Ah, yes!

Perhaps you'd like to see them?

I'd be delighted!

Will you excuse us?

It's quite rare for a man to take an interest in flowers.

The best of them are just over here. Let me show you.

I don't know that he's suitable for her.

Oh, he seems nice enough. He has far too much to say.

We also have many daffodils. They've just come up.

It gives me such pleasure to see beautiful things spring forth. Don't you agree?

Yes, I do agree. But tell me...

He has his charm.

You don't care who she marries, do you?

Is she really plain?

That she is.

And you find her tedious? Unbearably tedious.

How does she wear her hair? On her head.

Really, I never noticed.

You're in a hurry.

I am a relentless suitor.

Besides, she still hasn't told me what I need to know.

Where did you learn to ride?

A lady never asks such a question. I'm serious.

France.

On an estate in France.

Not in America?

No, I've never been to America.

When were you in France?

It's been some time now.

Do you ever tell anyone the truth?

The truth?

The truth?

No.


I worry about him so.

He was fearfully nervous this morning. Really?

Father's always nervous when he sends the gold to Crimea.

He's a different man on those days.

He bears a heavy responsibility.

He acts so strangely!

He's entirely opposed to the consumption of any alcohol before nightfall.

Very sensible. I suspect he breaks his own regulation.

For each morning of the shipments he goes alone to the wine cellars.

With no servants to hold the lanterns. He insists on going alone.

Perhaps he's just checking the contents.

No, he relies upon my stepmother to stock and care for the cellar.

Every man has his eccentricities. I suppose.

What are your eccentricities, dear Edward?

Mine? I have none at all.

Well, one.

I am excessively preoccupied with a certain lovely young lady.

Sir!

You're a bold rogue to be so forward.

I might even begin to suspect you of some motive in your advances.

Never, my darling.

Oh, dear Edward.

I'm so happy.

And I am happy too.

He keeps the key in the bloody wine cellar.


Good evening, madam. May I be of service?

Is this the household of Mr Jeffers? No, madam. Mr Jeffers' house...


Thank you, my good man.


Shh! It's only the wind.


Where do you think it could be?

Shut up!

Sorry.

Shh!


John, would you check the cellar, please?

Yes, madam.

John?

John? Where's John? I'm down here, sir.

What are you doing down there? Madam felt she heard a noise...

Madam always feels she's heard a noise.

Come along now. I need you to find my best pipe.

It's misplaced again. Certainly, sir.

That was a close one.

Didn't do my heart any good, I'll say that.

Mind the light!

Here.

That's not the bloody key. See the rust? Nobody's touched that betty in years.

It's odd, though. I've never seen the likes of that before, small as it is.

Very delicate. It could be a lady's twirl for some feminine trifle.

Watch the light!

It's not my fault you're having trouble. It's your bloody idea, isn't it?

Here. That's a key for a Chubb safe.

Let's see how fast you can wax.

Mind the light.

Bastard.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Brilliant.


What does this clause mean?

Never mind that. What about that one over there?

In pink?

Wouldn't mind making a deposit in that one, I dare say.

If she didn't provoke a hasty withdrawal.

Not on my account, I fancy.

Besides, she is Sir John Basington's minx and accustomed to hasty withdrawals!

Quite without principle, don't you think?

But here now... I say!

Monsieur, avez... Excuse-moi.

Have you got my deposit account?

That's what I call a proper woman. Which is to say, not proper at all!

She gives good value, long term or short.

Eh?

You know her? Mm.

Where have you been keeping her, Edward, you rogue?

She's a vision. Not at all bad for a foreign woman.

I don't think she's your type.

She's precisely my type. Will you make an introduction?

Fowler. Trent.

Will you make an introduction?

Not here, of course. What are you doing tonight?

Well, I had arranged to go to the theatre...

Come, come, my dear fellow. Are we not friends?

More than that, Henry.

Much more.

That's the plan, is it? Yes, that's the plan.

That's all you have to say?

It's the job, innit?

I suppose you expect me to dab it up with that fat, repulsive...

I suppose you expect me to go through with it!

It's up to you, innit?

Bloody hell!


Shall we go, darling?


Very nice.

She's here, is she? Oh, yeah, she's here.

Evening, gentlemen.

How can I be of service to you?

My friend would like to see Madame Lucienne.

Madame Lucienne?

Madame Lucienne.

She holds a very rigid standard.

Well, that's all right, isn't it? Yes.

Come this way.

You go up the stairs, sir... and through the first door on your right.

Madame Lucienne will be with you presently.

Very gay here. Yes.


Monsieur...? Er... Jones.

Jones.

I am very pleased to make your acquaintance.

I as well.

You are nervous?

No, I just thought we might become... better acquainted.

Oh, mon chéri, you are nervous. There is no need to be.

I will take care of every little thing.

And every big thing.

Oh...

Such a strong man!

Well, yes, I did a bit of sport. When I was younger, of course.

Oh, but you are still young.

And very strong.

You want this off as well? It is best, no?

The touch of flesh to flesh.

The warmth of the body.

This is the French way, is it? Oui, mon cher.

What is this? A key. But I'm afraid...

Oh, there must be nothing... nothing between us.

Oh, yes.

Now if you will sit on the lit.

The what? The lit... the bed, the bed, the bed.

Oh, it is so exciting!

You... How do you say...

You inflame me.

But, madame, do you not remove your own clothing?

Oh, my own... Why, yes, of course.

In just a moment.

Just a moment. Do make haste, madam.

Yes, yes, I will.

Oh, my God, the police!

Quel mess!

Come on, Henry, for God's sake!

I'm coming!

Police, where are they? Downstairs.

But I could be ruined! Quite!

I know the back way.


You couldn't have picked something more difficult.

You said you're the bloody best. And I am.

But that's the devil's own crib. I've watched it three days. Look there.

You have to get past those crushers, then up those stairs in plain sight.

Then into that crib. Anybody can see you.

Bloody silly. Invitation to prison, that place is.

What's your pogue up there?

Two Chubb keys in that green cupboard.

What might they be, them keys?

Two keys that I happen to want.

We're partners, aren't we?

If you're trying to say that you don't trust me completely...

I don't trust you at all.

Good.

We've been gulling banksmen, now we're in a railway station.

What's in a station? Trains is in a...

Mother of God! You're after the Crimean g...

Trying to rob a moving train... it can't be done.

Why not?

It hasn't been done, has it? No.

Crimean gold. Mother of God!

That's £25,000, isn't it? A big shipment, isn't it? 25,000 quid.

Mother of God! Are you ready to go in?

Am I... Yes.

Where's the chavy?

There.

He's your son.

I don't have no son.

Louisa says he's your son.

Hmph! Louisa!

She wouldn't know. Is that him?

He's not my son. He's too ugly to be my son!

So what's the sweetener?

A guinea.

Well, if he is my son, he'll be worth it.

Are we ready? Mm!

Oh, Geoffrey! I've been robbed! Stop thief! Stop that boy!

Somebody stop him!

Police! Stop that boy!

Police! Stop that boy!

Stop thief! Stop that boy!

I've got him!

Stop that boy. He's a thief. What's going on?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Take that!

Are you all right?

Under! After him.

Get off!

Oh, my dear chap. Awfully sorry. Are you all right?

Gotcha!

Well done. And thank you, gentlemen.

Damn thieves. They're everywhere.

Did you wax them? Not a prayer. Not a bloody prayer.

Never crack that crib.

Not in daylight. I said it was impossible.

What about night? Night!

I've marked this crib for three nights.

There's a jack at the top of the stairs all night long.

He talks to the constable making his rounds... but he doesn't leave his post.

Then at two o'clock he takes his tightener.


And right at 2.30 he goes off to relieve himself from his bottle of beer.

And that's when I time him.

I time him from when he goes off to when he comes back.

And it's been the same... three nights running. A very regular bloke, is this jack.

75 seconds.

It's a coopered ken.

You say you're the fastest screwsman in the country. Well, here's a challenge.

Challenge? 75 seconds for two keys? It's nigh impossible.

What if a snakesman comes over the roof and cracks it from the inside?

What snakesman's to break that drum? Nobody good enough is out.

The best is Clean Willy and he's in.

Where's he in? Newgate Prison.

And there's no escaping that.

Only Willy can climb that.

Shame he's in Newgate.


No, guv, don't cut me. I'm goin'.

Hello, dearie. Comin' in for a good time?

You won't be sorry.


What's it to be, guv?

Bit of a tickle for you?

You dab it up with Clean Willy the snakesman, right?

I did. He's in Newgate now.

You visit?

I do now and again.

I visits as his sister, see?

There's another of those if you can downy him a message.

What's it to be?

Tell Willy to break at the next topping. There's no breaks from Newgate!

Tell him he breaks at the next topping or he's not Clean Willy.

Tell him to go to the house where he first met John Simms.

John Simms.

Are you John Simms?


Oh, my! I think I'm going to die.

Oh, my! I think I'm going to die.

Oh, my! I think I'm going to die.

Fine day for a hanging.

Do you really think he'll make it?

Did you bring the trimmings? It's all here.

Medicine? Everything.

Do you want some cold chicken? No.

Willy's the best snakesman there is... but he can't get out of there.

Dearly beloved, wonder not if the world hate you.

We know that we have passed from death to life because we love the brethren.

He that loveth not abideth in death.

Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer.

And you know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in himself.

In this we have known the charity of God.


And in God's house...

Goodness and mercy all my life shall surely follow me... and in God's house forevermore...

Oh, my! I think I'm going to die.

They say Willy can climb a wall of glass.

If anyone can do it, Clean Willy can.


Oh, my! I think I'm going to die.

Where is he?


Good heavens! He's in a right bad state.

Here, come over here.

Sit down.

Cabinet open...

Cabinet shut. Cabinet shut.

Door.

Steps.

Done!

Time?

81.

Well... better than last time.

Two seconds better.

But you still haven't broken the 75 seconds.

Well, it is better.

But not good enough.

We'll try again later.

Where are you going?

But you're so tired.

I'm not tired.

Go!

Steps.

Door.

Cabinet open. Fastest bloody screwsman!

Shut up. Time?

31.

Cabinet shut.

Door.

Steps.

Time?

74.

74?

74.

I always knew I could do it.


Psst!

Psst!

Shit!

Jed? Jed?

Yes. All right?

Oh, I'm well enough.

You been at the fight?

Hmph! Fancy Dan and Stunning Bill. Wasn't my fight, was it?

Put a sovereign on Bill.

Well, he won! I've a quid to show for it.

I'll take another walk round. See you later.


75 seconds, remember?

Now!

13...

14...

15...

16...

17...

18...

19...

Where are the bloody keys? 20.

21...

No Chubb keys.

23...

24...

25... Damn it!

26...

27...

28...

29...

30.

31...

32...

33...

34...

35...

36...

37...

38...

39...

40.

41...

42...

43...

44...

45...

46...

47...

48...

49...

50.

51...

52...

53...

54...

55...

56...

57...

58...

59...

60!

61...

62...

63...

64...

65...

66...

67...

68...

69...

70.

71...

72...

73...

74...

75!

I remember when we first met.

I gave the most awful performance in Way of The World.

I went to my dressing room and there were the beautiful flowers you'd sent me.

And then you walked in.

Flowers? Mm.

Dozens of them. They were wonderful.

I didn't send any. Must have been someone else.

I walked in and you thanked me.

You're teasing me.

Bloody waste of good money, flowers.

You didn't? No.

Really?

Really?

I had them at a good price. I robbed a grave.

All you ever think about is money.

All anyone ever thinks about is money.


Don't turn.

Mr Simms, is it? That's right.

You came alone? Yes, as you instructed.

Everything the same on the railway line? All the same.

Then it'll be tomorrow.

What'll be tomorrow? Never you mind. Here's 100 quid for you.

Look the other way and shut your mouth.

Right? Right, sir.

Now, off you go and don't look back.

Get a bowl of water in there.

Put it in the corner, over there.

As far away from me as you can.

He's pretty heavy, ain't he? Pretty hungry too.

Sorry, sir. No one's allowed to ride in the van.

I've got to accompany the animal. It's very valuable.

He gets upset if I'm not with him.

Yeah, very well.

Doesn't care for travel.

You mean it's to be you? Aye.

Where'd you make them impressions? They keep all them keys separate.

Do they? Aye, they do.

How'd you pull 'em?

With incredible skill.


The next gold shipment is in a week. This time we take it.

Agar will replace the gold with these lead bars... and throw the bags from the train at Romney,... where Barlow will collect them and then drive to Folkestone.

Where will we be?

In a first-class compartment enjoying the journey.

What happens afterward?

We divide the gold as agreed.

After that.

After that? Yes, after that!

You and I will go to Paris.

You have it all worked out. We ride on the train and they do the work.

They have to earn their share, don't they?

It's all very smooth.

Unless something goes wrong.

What could go wrong?

My dear Mr Simms.

As your humble servant,...

I would be greatly obliged and indebted... if you could contrive to meet with me at the Palace, Sydenham... for the purpose...

For the purpose...

For the purpose of discussing some matters of... mutual interest.

Most respectfully,...

William Williams, Esquire.

That should do it.

Well now, Willy...

What's this fellow Simms up to, eh?

Please, sir, I can't tell you.

Should have thought of that before we caught you with this purse.

I don't want to go back to prison, sir.

Well, then. Better tell us.

I don't know, sir. I told you.

All's I know is that he's a cracksman planning a flash pull, he is.

The letter will put you on to him.

We'll see.

They'll kill me, they will.

Then see you aren't running off again, eh?

We'll have a look at this mysterious Mr Simms.


Don't turn round, Willy.

Now, what is it? I'm needing a bit, Mr Simms.

You've been paid. I'm needing more.

You been working, Willy? No!

Did the crushers pick you up? I swear it, no!

Willy, if you've turned nose on me... I swear it's no flam.

A finny or two's what I need and that'll be an end to it.

There's a finny in your pocket.

You're sweating.

If you've turned nose on me, I'll see you in lavender.

Not me, sir. I swear!

Three crushers.

Edward! Edward Pierce!

Edward, we were wondering what had become of you.

I got married.

Must dash.

Do you think he's in trouble? Wouldn't surprise me.

Very rough man. Not a good sort at all.


So, the snakesman is dead. I'm afraid so, sir.

And this fellow Simms has vanished? Yes, sir.

And we don't know who he is or what he intends?

We are entirely without clues. No, not entirely.

We know Simms arranged for Clean Willy to break from Newgate some months ago.

So it's a long-standing plan. A plan we don't know.

Quite. But we do know Simms is a safecracker. He must be after safes.

And Willy broke into the dispatcher's office of the South Eastern Railway Line.

Hmm.

And it occurred to me, could this Simms be planning to steal the Crimean gold?

Steal from a moving railway train?

Who could imagine such a thing?

The next gold shipment is tomorrow.

I've alerted the railway line to take extra precautions.

What's this? Precautions, sir.

I will ride the train to Folkestone tonight. I shall be there tomorrow... in case there's any tomfoolery when the gold arrives.

Very enterprising of you. Thank you, sir.

We've made new security arrangements throughout.

New lock.

New guard, just in case they do have the audacity to try for the Crimean gold.

Excellent foresight, Mr Sharp.

I must commend you on your attention in this matter.

We certainly wouldn't want to lose that gold.

It's all changed. Everything. Everything's changed.

No one's allowed to ride in the luggage van save Burgess himself as guard.

And they've got a new jack on the platform... who opens all parcels large enough for a man to hide in.

And if that ain't bad enough, they've gone and fitted a lock on the luggage van door.

They're locking it at the station and not opening it until it gets to Folkestone.

A precautionary measure. All on account of the gold.

Bloody outside lock! It can't be worked from within.

Even if I was to be able to get inside the van...

I'd be locked inside there until it gets into Folkestone.

And who do you think's behind all this? Only the crushers theirselves, that's who.

Two plainclothes jacks were there... saying as how a Mr Simms was planning to rob the Crimean gold.

They don't have a high opinion of your intelligence. But they credit your nerve.

And they've put crushers on every station on the line and at Folkestone.

So. Here we are.

Burgess is no use. I can't get into the van because of that jack opening everything.

Even if I could, I couldn't get the gold out as the door's locked from the outside.

So what's it to have four keys, I ask you?

Four keys or 40 keys... it don't make no bloody difference!

It's a waste, the whole thing! And nothing to be done about it.

All on account of they found you out, Mr Edward bloody Simms Pierce!

That was something you didn't think of. What have you got to say about that?

Find me a dead cat.


Now then, missy, now then.

Oh, please, sir, can you help me?

The man is a heartless beast, he is.

What man? That guard upon the line, sir.

He will not let me set my dear brother on the train.

He says it must be... opened!

Why... the cruel rogue.

We'll have your brother on the train.

There's, um... no need to open it.

I, um... I see you have a Bateson's belfry here.

Oh, yes, sir.

Me brother, he was terrible afraid of being buried alive, so here's the safety.

Very thoughtful, I'm sure. Just you dry your eyes. All will be well.

Thank you, sir.

I'll just... get this business finished.

How could you be so cruel? I only told her the new rules.

All containers to be opened. Yes, I know.

Do you smell it? I think in this case we can make an exception.

Whatever you say.

Nephew! Uncle.

Nephew,... mind your duties. Open every parcel and make no exception. No exception.

Yes, Uncle.

What's that ungodly stink? The, er...

Scheduled for the morning train? Yes, Uncle.

See that you open it. But, er... Uncle...

No stomach for it, eh?

Dear God, you're a delicate one.

All right, I'll do it myself.

For opened it must be.

Oh! Oh!

My dear brother! Oh, Richard. Richard, he lives!

He lives! Oh, he's alive!

Oh, make haste. He's alive! Oh, praise God, he's alive!

Oh, he's alive!

Hurry! Hurry! Lest we are too late.

I knew it was not cholera!

Cholera?

He was a quack to say it. I knew it! Hurry. Hurry.

Five days I've waited to hear that bell. You say cholera? Five days?

Richard! Richard!

Ohh!

Oh, no!

Oh...

How can it be? I heard the bell.

Did you not?

I heard it plain.

The bell rang.

No, missy. A gust of wind or a tremor on the ground.

I'm sorry.

But I heard it.

Load this on. Sharp now!

Come along.

Steady. Steady now.

Stand aside there.

Careful.

That's right.

Over here. A little to your right. Set it down.

There's more colour to you now. Yes, I feel much better now, thank you.

Goodbye. Bye-bye, miss.

All right for you. I'll be in here with it. Rather you than me, mate!

Oh, the stench!


Can you do it? I think so.

It's a long way back there.

Five carriages, 30 feet each, that's 150 feet altogether.

I'll manage.

You're not going to get killed, are you? Oh, I'd rather not.

Edward!

Edward Pierce, my dear fellow! Damn. Henry Fowler!

He cannot travel in our compartment.

Henry, what a surprise!

Fancy seeing you! Are you on this train? Yes.

As a matter of fact, so am I.

Oh, forgive me. Miss Bridget Lawson, Mr Henry Fowler.

Miss Lawson is accompanying her deceased brother but... due to the new regulations she's not permitted in the guard's van.

Therefore she is seeking a compartment.

Well, mine is available.

Henry, you're so kind.

You won't join us, will you?

As a matter of fact, I've... made other arrangements.

Oh, I see!

You're quite sure? Oh, yes.

You carry on, Henry.

Miss Lawson!

You're in capable hands. You're too kind.

Not at all.


Open up! Open up!

Open up, damn you!

Are you alive, then?

Of course I am, you damnable flat.

Good God, he's alive! Open it! Hurry up. I must be quick!

Lift up!

Oh, mother of God!

Oh, the smell!

The things I must do!

Do you have, er... many gentlemen friends?

Oh, why sure enough. Gents are ever so friendly to me, they are.

Me mum said I was a heartbreaker. I'm certain you are.

Me mum was a heartbreaker herself. Had many a caller, she did.

Many a caller.

And always with some little token.

Me mum says a man loves you, he shows you proper.

With some little token. Quite so.

If you will permit me, I should be delighted to give you a "token" myself.

Cor, you're a bold gent! I'm most serious, I assure you.

What, here on the train? Why not?

Have you not heard of the 50-mile-an-hour club?

I'm told it's beneficial to the circulation.

But the van's locked from outside. It's taken care of.

How? You'll see soon enough.

My friend will come over the top of the train between Redhill and Ashford.

That's the fastest part of the run!

I suppose it is.

What about all them bridges? Your friend, mate, he's mad.


What's going on? Take the rope.

Is he up there now? He is.

He's lucky to be alive.

Hold on. All right.

Now let it go easy.

Go on.


I can't get over the feeling...

You look very familiar.

Are you sure we've never met? Oh, no, sir.

What does your mum do?

Me mum? Er...

She's a seamstress.

An honourable trade.

Me mum's made dresses for Lady Eversham herself, I'll have you know.

I'm acquainted with Lady Eversham.

Oh.


All done? Done.

Good. We've got less than a minute.

Bloody hell, you look a sight!

I look a sight?

No, but you're all covered in soot.

It's the smoke.

I haven't brought a change of clothing. That's brilliant.

What are you going to wear coming off Folkestone station?

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Bloody hell! You paint me green, make me lie in a coffin with a dead cat... and now you strip me bollock-naked. No!

Shut up. Bloody hell!

Let's go!

He'll take the river road and meet us in Folkestone.

Take hold of the rope. We'll be through Ashford soon. Pull it.

We'll pass Ashford soon.


Best lock me up.

Sweet dreams. Not bloody likely.

Me mum told me the best gents were the ones to watch. Full of tricks, they are.

I knew of one caller, wanted me to come to a room he had, full of whips and such.

Whips? Mm!

Can you imagine!

Mmm.

Well, me mum, she told me... My dear, my dear, my dearest!

Oh!

What a man you are!

What do you take me for?

Aagh!

Ohh!


Impossible woman!

Ha!

Robbery indeed! The very idea!


Arrest that man!


The court thanks you for providing us with so clear an explanation... of your manner in committing the crime.

I'm glad to be of help. The police seemed to be confused.

Do spare us your impoverished witticisms, Mr Pierce.

Your presence here attests to their efficiency.

You know, you are a very unusual man.

Mr Pierce, I put it to you directly.

Did you never feel at any time some sense of impropriety,... some recognition of misconduct,... some comprehension of unlawful behaviour, some moral misgivings... in the performance of these various and sundry criminal acts?

I don't understand the question. Evidently not.

Sir, it is a recognised truth of jurisprudence... that laws are created by men... and that civilised men, in a tradition of more than two millennia,... agree to abide by these laws for the common good of all society.

For it is only by the rule of law... that any civilisation holds itself above the promiscuous squalor of barbarism.

Now, on the matter of motive, we ask you: why did you conceive, plan and execute... this dastardly and scandalous crime?

I wanted the money.

He'll get 20 years for that.