The Happys (2016) Script

♪cheery rumba music plays Downloaded from YTS.MX TRACY: Ever since I was a little girl, I knew exactly what my life would look like.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX I d meet the man of my dreams.

And we d have everything in common.

And in ninth grade, I met Mark Lewis.

He was perfect.

MARK: Is it dead?

You're so weird.

I dream that one day you'll eat a burger medium rare.

It s so bloody, it...

Get out of here.

TRACY: I d do whatever it takes to keep my man happy. I d make us a wonderful home and cook for him, and everything would be just so.

And when Mark got cast as a lead in a big Hollywood movie, well, I left the Midwest and moved out to Los Angeles, And I love it here. L.A. is always so sunny, and Los Feliz is like a small town in a big city.

Everyone is so nice.

Do you have any cheddar from Wisconsin?

CLERK: Nope.

I m not even twenty-two, and I ve got everything I ve ever wanted.

Now all I have to do is live happily ever after.

[moaning heard in background]

♪impending doom music begins

♪doom music builds

♪deep instrumental music begins

♪deep instrumental music continues♪ MARK: Trace.

♪guitar strums underneath

MARK: I thought you had a job interview.

Where are you going?

Back to Wisconsin.

MARK: Trace!

MARK: Just stay. Let s talk about this.

MARK: Aw, Trace. I love you, Tracy.

MARK: I love you.

[Traffic sounds]

[Cell phone rings]

ALICIA: Hi, sis, how s Los Angeles? Ready to come back yet?

TRACY: What? Well, actually...

ALICIA: Don't make me lose my bet.

ALICIA: Mom said you wouldn t last a month.

I ve got you there at least six.

You guys made bets?

ALICIA: Oh yeah, a whole pool.

Dad s down for three months.

ALICIA: And Sharon, you know that bitch from the party store, ALICIA: she thinks you're gonna die in an earthquake.

You didn t think me and Mark would last?

ALICIA: You know, Hollywood.

We've been together for almost six years.

ALICIA: Whatever. It doesn t matter what we think.

ALICIA: So, how s it going?

Great.

♪piano music plays It s going great.

KRISTA: You say you're too sick to go to a rehearsal?

You're not famous enough yet to pull that shit, and if you have so much as a sniffle, I m the first to know.

Got it?

Don't tell me you ate a whole pizza.

MARK: Uh, stop.

KRISTA: What? Did you have a fight with your girlfriend?

Shit happens, but I worked too hard to get you this role.

Where is your script?

Seriously?

Fine. Uh...

♪piano music plays

[traffic sounds]


[mosquito sounds]

KRISTA: Come on, do you want it or not?

MARK: Oh, I want it. I want it bad.

KRISTA: This is playful. You're supposed to be flirting.

Come on, show me some of that Mark Lewis charm.

I m tired. I know the lines.

You really don't think she s coming back?

MARK: What, Tracy?

[knocking on door]

PATRICK: Hey lover.

Hey Patrick.

Patrick Waddell?

Krista Daly?!?

MARK: I m working with Krista, so I don't need to rehearse that scene with you after all.

PATRICK: That s so good because I m not even here to rehearse.

Oh. Then what the hell are you doing here?

PATRICK: I just came to say hi. Is that like, a crime?

MARK: Thanks.

I thought maybe he was feeling lonely.

MARK: I m fine.

PATRICK: Krista Daly. How come you're not my manager?

♪deep music plays with chimes

[mosquito sounds]

[ocean and wind sounds]

[birds and traffic sounds]

[birds and traffic sounds]

[squawking bird sounds]

♪cymbals

[running sounds]

[his breathing, labored]

[ocean sounds with music underneath]

[door opening sound in distance]

[bird chirping sounds]

TRACY: Are you alone?

MARK: Yeah.

Is that guy...

It was a mistake.

Right.

I'm so sorry, Trace.

Let me tell you what I want, and you tell me if you you can live with it. I wanna be your wife.

For the past six years I've wanted to be your wife. I -

I want to have your children, and I-I wanna cook for you, and I-I want to be good to you, and, and I want to love you, and I want you to love me, and I want you to provide for me, and I want you to treat me with respect.

I do love you.

TRACY: I don't know what that was, but you have to promise me...never again.

Definitely not.

MARK: The look on your face...

So we have a deal?

♪slow piano music plays I promise.

You're gonna be late for rehearsal.

I ll make you some breakfast.

♪hopeful piano music plays

[door creaking]

TRACY: Welcome home.

MARK: This looks great.

Sit down. Give me a sec.

MARK: Trace.

I just want to say...

Don't.

In honor of our new commitment...

Mark.

MARK: The rock s on the way.

You really want this?

I do.

MARK: It's too big.

No, it's perfect.

[bird chirping sounds]

ALICIA: Trace, I don't know if five months is enough time. I mean...

ALICIA: the VFW and the Italian- American club are all booked up ALICIA: for every weekend in September.

TRACY: There's gotta be someplace.

MARK: What are you doing up?

TRACY: Let s just have it...outdoors.

TRACY: We ll have a beautiful outdoor wedding in September.

ALICIA: Uh, I got one word for you... rain.

Well maybe it won't rain.

ALICIA: Well If it hadn t rained at my wedding, maybe I wouldn t be divorced right now.

TRACY: Just call me... when you find something, okay? I don't want to go any later than September.

Fine. Bye.

You've got a six-thirty call, I m up with you.

My man s got to have his breakfast.

You're so good, but I don't think I can eat this early.

I ll make it to-go.

MARK: You do know we have catering trucks, right?

I mean, there's more food on the set than I ve ever seen in my life.

I don't like the idea of you eating your meals off of a truck.

TRACY: I m your fiancé, I should feed you.

[phone ding and buzzing sounds]

Ride s here. I m sorry about the crazy long hours, hon. I feel like I never see you.

Break a leg.

♪fun rumba music plays

[indistinct voices]

2ND AD: Hey, Mark, Tracy's here.

MARK: Come on in.

MAGGIE: Hey Tracy, what did you bring today?

TRACY: It s uh, duck sausage on pretzel buns with Dijon mustard.

MAGGIE: Where do you come up with these recipes?

TRACY: Just down-home Wisconsin cooking. Can he have a bite?

MAGGIE: Uh...

Oh, just put it down for now, hon.

MAGGIE: Not there! Sorry.

TRACY: Okay. There is fine.

Oh, no problem. Sorry.

So how s it going today?

Well, I m still in makeup so, so far, so good.

Right.

What are you up to now?

TRACY: Uh...

♪music stops I don't know.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: Props!

♪slower latin music plays LUANN: Thank you.

FEMALE TENANT: Have a great day, Luann.

LUANN: Okay!

FEMALE TENANT: I mean it. Bye. LUANN: Yes. Yes, you too.

TRACY: Hi Luann.

LUANN: Hi Tracy. Whatcha doing?

TRACY: Walking. What about you?

Collecting rent checks. What about you?

Taking a walk.

LUANN: Oh yeah, so you said.

So you own this house too?

Oh, yes, I do. I bought a bevy of houses in the Happy's when the market was down.

The Happy's?

LUANN: Our neighborhood. Los Feliz, the Happy's, translated strictly.

Right.

LUANN: Thank God for residuals.

You still make money from that show?

Hell yeah. Thank God for cable TV, they're still running that at least twice a day.

[metal and glass sounds]

TRACY: That was weird.

LUANN: Oh, oh, did you see him?

TRACY: Who? LUANN: Did you see him? Sebastian.

Did you see him?

TRACY: I saw his hand.

LUANN: That counts as a sighting. He moved in maybe seven years ago.

I swear to you he has not left that place since.

Is he an invalid? Is he old?

LUANN: Nope and nope. Sebastian is the quintessence of an enigma. One who is inscrutable, ambiguous, puzzling. Sebastian is an enigma.

Hmm.

♪thought provoking music plays

GO FUSION VENDOR: What can I get for you?

TRACY: I don't know. This food is so weird.

What's like, the best thing you've got?

The teriyakos are pretty awesome.

TRACY: So, they re like, tacos?

GO FUSION VENDOR: Teriyaki. Tacos. Teriyakos.

Oh. Can I have one?


[door latch clicking sound] [dog barking and door slam]

TRACK COACH: Let s go, let s go. High knees, boys, high knees. Looking good.

What are you doing here? Your trial is right now.

You're not gonna make the team.

MARK: I can't go anywhere until you tell me you'll accept this.

GRETCHEN: Whoa.

TRACK COACH: I told you, I can't marry you.

GRETCHEN: Look at that rock!

I m too messed up I need therapy.

Girl, stop talking.

I need a lobotomy.

Look, you want to get a lobotomy, we ll get you a lobotomy.

You want therapy, acupuncture, a massage, a vasectomy, tendinitis, appendectomy, you want to be hypnotized, whatever. You name it, it s yours.

You want to go kill your father, that s fine. We ll do it.

[crashing sound]

PAULA: Cut! What now?

PAULA: Who the hell are you?

MARK: Sorry.

TRACK COACH: Makeup.

TRACY: Somebody bumped into me. It wasn t my fault.

I told you we were shooting my big scene today.

I know, I really wanted to see it.

MARK: Can we get a minute here?

[indistinct voices]

I brought teriyaki burritos.

What?

It s fusion.

I m sorry, but do you think you could chill out on the coming-here-every-fucking-day thing? I didn t mean fucking, I don't know. Maybe you should get a job or something.

I m sorry, I just, I thought...

[indistinct voices]

♪ music plays

LUANN: Hello. Do you like the new feeder? Those industrious hummingbirds just devour my homemade nectar.

TRACY: Do you want a teriyaki burrito?

Yes, I do.

Did you make this?

Yeah.

It smells so good.

Mm-hmm.

Mm, par excellence. That is one fine teriyaki burrito.

Looks like the avocado turned a little brown.

Speaking of a little brown, did I tell you about Sebastian?

Yeah, the other day, the enigma.

Did I tell you I ve been spying on him?

Do you spy on all of your tenants?

No, just the brown one.

Is he...black?

LUANN: Not by birth. Every day from ten until three, he lays out and roasts in the sun.

I ve climbed up his fence, and watched him.

He looks so irenical.

TRACY: Hm.

[mosquito sounds]

TRACY: Oh my God. Oh my God, these are awesome.

I would kill to have a set of real professional knives.

Tracy, I m really sorry about this afternoon, really.

I do think it would be better if you didn t come by every day, but the way I handled it was totally out of line.

And I m sorry.


♪slow romantic music plays

♪latin music plays

RICKY: [Spanish] Precious jewel.

RICKY: [Spanish] Yes, yes, you.

RICKY: You hungry for the best chow north of Cancun, or what?

♪latin music plays I don't know.

What, you don't know?

I have some friends who went to Cancun, but all they had were burgers and hot wings.

Well, your friends are stupid.

RICKY: Megan!

[Spanish] It's a burrito of conhinita pibil, extra spicy.

MEGAN: Pibil extra spicy. TRACY: You're very bossy.

Do you like that?

Not really.

I think you do.

♪latin music plays

♪chime bells

♪inquisitive piano music begins


[exaggerated metal clangs]

TRACY: Ow.

SEBASTIAN: What are you doing here?

SEBASTIAN: Get out. Get out!

I m sorry. I m so sorry.

SEBASTIAN: Get out of my house!

How? Where do I go?

No, stop. Get away. Get away. Get away! Uh...Uh...

Follow me.

TRACY: Okay.

TRACY: Ooh, I think I hit my head.

SEBASTIAN: No, don't, don't do that.

Oh man, I have a bump. Would you feel this bump?

SEBASTIAN: Mm.

TRACY: Ooh.

[freezer door opening and closing sounds]

TRACY: Thanks.

Don't get water on the rug.

The door is right there. Don't come back here again.

Okay.

[deep frantic breaths]

♪slow music plays

[timer ticking]

[timer dinging]

TRACY: Hi.

You're still here?

I have nowhere else to go.

What, you're homeless?

I just don't want to be alone right now.

You know what I mean?

♪light pop music plays

[door creaking sounds] [dog barking sounds]

Oh my God, you're okay. Where have you been?

Out.

Your car was in the driveway. I sent you like, twenty texts.

I m really tired. I ll tell you about it in the morning.

Are you drunk? Where have you been?

♪strong piano music plays

LUANN: Hey, Tracy, this is Wilma. Wilma, Tracy.

LUANN: We are late for a long- standing date at Fancy Nails.

WILMA: I was in Some Like it Hot.

Really?

LUANN: Yes, indeed. TRACY: Wow.

LUANN: Wilma is a master of the piccolo.

Ooh, sorry. Nice to meet you.

[pounding on door sounds]

[pounding on door sounds]

Sebastian, it s Tracy. Let me in.

[dog barking sounds] [pounding on door sounds]

I know you're in there.

Ugh.

What do you want?

TRACY: Come on, let me in.

Look, I, I got some bread. I made some cheese curds.

Cheese curds.

I even brought some wine to replace what we drank yesterday.

What do you say?

[chewing noises]

Cheese curds. Who knew?

Well...you can't live on wine and hoagies alone.

Sure you can. I m living proof.

So what did Mark say to you when you came home last night?

Was he mad?

Nah. Ooh.

TRACY: The bridesmaid dresses I was telling you about.

Mm.

Um...personally, I mean, I would go with something simple, ...light.

Should we get some light in here?

No!

Don't touch that.

Sorry.

[dog barking sounds]

Have you ever thought about painting for real?

Like on a canvas?

I m a graphic designer. It s nice, I get to work from home.

More. More, more, more, more.

[bottle knock sounds]

You left your ring on my patio last night.

TRACY: Oh man. Thanks...Hm.

♪grab me up and throw me down, skin to skin...♪ KATHERINE PORTER: Does anyone else think my hair is too brunette for this role?

KATHERINE PORTER: In the book, it s definitely auburn.

PAULA: The book. Your character isn't even gay in the book.

PATRICK: Do you need me to like, butch up my acting a little bit tomorrow?

PAULA: As if you could. Oh here's a true fact, okay.

The studio made us turn your character gay because young adult movies that feature a gay best friend gross up to twenty- five percent more.

PATRICK: That figures, 'cause if you're like, a commodity, Hollywood exploits you. And that is why I am going to be stuck in these roles for the rest of my gay life.

ASIAN CHICK: Try being Asian and booking a lead role if you're not Lucy Liu. At least you can play straight.

KATHERINE PORTER: Uh, have you seen The Wedding Party? He can't play straight.

PATRICK: Oh!

PATRICK: Yes I can.

PATRICK: First off, fuck you, and second off, fuck you again.

Stuff like that is what forces actors into the closet in the first place, so it s not a good thing to perpetuate.

PAULA: You know, that s true, that s really true.

TRACY: What's wrong with you? You don't have any...any...

TRACY: ugh...anything in here.

I don't need anything. I can get whatever I want delivered.

Okay. Come on, let s get serious.

When is the last time you left the house?

1932.

SEBASTIAN: Don't touch me. Don't ever do that again.

Okay, I hear you. I won't.

TRACY: Oh hey, raisins. How old are these?

SEBASTIAN: I don't know.

TRACY: Hmm.

You know, I did travel across the country for a year.

TRACY: Oh yeah?

TRACY: Hm. SEBASTIAN: Mm-hm.

I was living in Florida.

Quit my job and just took off for a year.

When was that?

I mean, it was mostly just aimlessly wandering really.

No ties, no places to be, no one to answer to.

God, that sounds so great. Mm.

You'd think.

It wasn t fun?

I mean, this country s pretty depressing.

Oh.

Yeah. So, I ended up in L.A., which as you can see, the good times just keep on rolling.

You need more wine. You need a lot more wine.

♪jazz music plays [laughter can be heard]

PATRICK: No, that s what I m talking about. There are two...

PATRICK: kinds of gay guys in Hollywood, okay.

There are guys like me who wear it like a badge of honor, and then there are these closet cases, who are so afraid that if they're ever found out-- they're never going to get another part. And it s sick.

KATHERINE PORTER: I licked a vagina.

KATHERINE PORTER: Seriously. I said it.

PATRICK: What about you, Mulan?

Exclusively dick.

ASIAN CHICK: But if Katherine Porter asked...

PATRICK: What about our esteemed cinematographer?

CINEMATOGRAPHER: Well, I was gay for pay a couple times in the 90s.

PATRICK: No you fucking weren't.

MARK: Give me that joint. I m way too sober.

PAULA: Hey, you should listen up. You're exactly that type of pretty boy, sexy stud that people start gossiping about.

KATHERINE PORTER: Mm-hmm.

MARK: I m not worried.

PATRICK: You're not worried, Mark?

PATRICK: I guess Mark doesn t have to worry, huh?

Mark s as straight as they come. You getting married soon, right?

CINEMATOGRAPHER: That little cutie that always brings you food to the set.

KATHERINE PORTER: Has she seen the craft service table, she knows that we get, we eat food.

PATRICK: Have you had anything to drink, Katherine?

PATRICK: Do you want me to get you another refill?

PAULA: Oh, vagina flavored would be good.

[door unlocking sounds] ♪slow piano music plays TRACY: Mark!

[key rattling sounds, then door closing]

[thud and splat sounds]

♪tinkling, echoing music plays

♪energetic drum music plays

[splat sound]

[series of splat sounds]

♪echoing music plays

[traffic sounds]

[car lock beep sound] [footstep sounds]

PATRICK: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

MARK: What the fuck were you doing in there?

You think this is a fucking game?

PATRICK: No! I...hey.

Don't fuck with me.

I m...I m drunk, okay. I just want to go home.

Is that what you want?

PATRICK: Yes.

Yes.

[yelling sounds] [belt buckle and zipper sounds]

♪deep salsa drums start

[door hits and rustling sounds]

♪music builds

♪music climax and fall

[hollow thud sound]

♪music reverbs and echoes

[DVD case rustling sound]

♪deep beat music plays

[plastic thud sound]

[plastic knocking sounds]

[creaking sounds]

[mosquito sounds] [dog barking sounds]

[door opening sound]

♪music intensifies

Do me, Mark. Just do me.

♪music further intensifies

[thud sound]

♪music stops abruptly Four days in a row. Twice yesterday.

Wow.

I really think we ve turned a corner.

So. I mean, this is someone that you...I mean, this is, this is more than usual?

He s been really busy.

This whole move to L.A. has been hard for both of us.

What about before?

I mean, in the first couple years, sure, but we were teenagers.

Then he went away to college, and...

I don't know, it s been more about the relationship part than the sex part.

Oh you're not going to get any color with that forty-five SPF.

What about you?

I don't use forty-five.

No, I mean, sex.

What about it?

When s the last time you had any?

Is this an offer?

Ha, ha, ha, ha. No.

Come on, tell me.

Seven years.

That s a long time.

It s fine, I don't really miss it.

Yeah, I didn t think I did either.

Well, it s different situations.

So, what is it?

What?

Lay off! Your situation.

Oh come on. I have told you my entire life story in the last week and a half.

What do I know about you? That you use baby oil and enjoy the occasional glass of wine.

Tell me something.

Have you heard of the brown recluse spider?

Well, did you know that if you're bit by one, they have to remove a two- inch diameter section of flesh?

And if you're bitten on the testicle...

I m so sorry.

Yeah. So was Sherri.

Who s...

She said I was disgusting. I guess I am.

No. You're not.

SEBASTIAN: Drink up. It s time to go.

♪high energy latin music plays

[in the distance] Tacos, tacos, we ve got tacos.

RICKY: Come on, tacos. Anybody, I got tacos.

RICKY: Yucatan-tastic tacos.

The best tacos in Mexico. The best tacos from Mexico, I got em for you, come on.

Hey, Señorita, get some chicken from Yucatan, it s beautiful.

ANGRY VEGAN: I m a vegan. Meat is murder.

RICKY: But...it tastes good.

RICKY: Come on, I brought the chicken myself from Yucatan.

Hey, hey, hey, Hot Wings, you passing me by or what?

Oh hey.

Yeah. You didn t like my burrito?

It was great. Hey, how come nobody s in line here?

Ah, this Eastside crowd, they only want novelty foods now, Mexican-Korean, bacon ice cream, spaghetti sandwich.

Spaghetti in a sandwich?

Okay, I made that one up, but you get the point.

Hipsters are stupid.

Is everybody stupid to you?

Not you, Hot Wings.

You and me are purists, right?

Come on, what can I get you?

Actually, I was going to try the Viet-Cajun truck.

Oh.

I read about it online.

Traitor.

Sorry.

Hot Wings, Yucatan-tastic too.

♪music stops abruptly

[creaking door sound] [paper bag rustling sounds]

Mark! Wow, what are you doing home?

I got cut early and got takeout from Providence.

I know you've been dying to go there.

♪romantic music starts TRACY: You're the best boy.

MARK: Mm, you're the grip.

You're the gaffer.

You're the...prop master.

You're the prop.

We could have dessert before dinner.

MARK: Yes we could.

I gotta pee. I ll see you in the bedroom?

Yes, you will.

[door opening and closing sounds]

TOMAS: Okay, remember in the second season when Mitzi got stuck in the sofa bed? Didn t that hurt?

Well, I had a stunt double, but she hated me.

JONATHAN: Oh come on, give us the dirt.

TOMAS: You do realize this man is a reporter for People magazine, right?

JONATHAN: Okay, it s off the record. I promise.

I slept with her father.

[gasps] Oh my God.

I know. I know. Take no pleasure in telling you that.

I m not judging.

LUANN: Hey!

How you doing?

I m doing good. I have not seen you... since you signed that lease.

Ah, yeah, I ve been working.

LUANN: Indeed you have. Indeed you have...

Being a movie star is a very time-consuming endeavor.

LUANN: Take it from me.

I m not a movie...

JONATHAN: Ignore her.

LUANN: Often a fine idea.

Hi, I m Jonathan. This is Tomas.

Ah. I m sorry, I m a little...sweaty.

That s totally fine.

Oh God, you're so bad.

I can't believe you guys haven t met before.

That is nut-burgers.

The Happy's is going to hell in a hand basket.

The Happy's?

LUANN: Yeah, it s the- Don t, just- call it that.

LUANN: No? I can't? Okay. I see Tracy around a lot.

I feel bad. I m not the world s greatest boyfriend.

TOMAS: Oh yeah, what does he do?

MARK: Who?

TOMAS: Tracy.

SHE...doesn t have a job right now.

Oh. Oh.

JONATHAN: Uh, we re going to go to the gym, so... we re going to pretend to work out. Uh, we ll see you later.

Nice meeting you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

I thought you were absolutely incandescent as that paraplegic boy by the way.

Thanks. [car door closing sounds]

LUANN: Really, it takes a very...

[car engine starting sounds] true talent to be that honest and that...raw on screen.

LUANN: Just save some of that for real life, too.

Please, take it from Luann.

Okay. Better get in the shower.

LUANN: Okay.

Nice talking to you.

It s always a pleasure, Mark.

[bean bag rustling sounds]

It looks like you're doing something dirty.

I m breaking it in.

SEBASTIAN: Okay, got a few options.

Take a look.

Ooh. These are great. Oh, I don't know which to choose.

What do you think?

Uh, take em home to Mark and you two decide.

SEBASTIAN: It s your wedding.

Will you come?

To your wedding?

Mm-hm.

Hmm, that s what videos are for.

Come on, what's for dinner?

I ve been marinating some shredded pork.

Have you ever tried cochinita pibil?

Once in Cancun.

Really?

Really.

You don't have to say that.

Yes, really. The dinner was amazing. I mean, you could, you could open a restaurant, easily.

Like you'd know.

Ah! It s not fair, I can't touch you.

SEBASTIAN: Ha ha.

So how are things with Mark?

Great. Yeah, we re... doing it all the time these days, and it s, it's really...

SEBASTIAN: What is it?

Thank you.

For?

I don't know. Listening, caring, being real.

Real weird.

Yeah, that too. But it s more than that.

It feels good being around you.

Quit being so mushy.

You love it.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I didn t touch you. The water did.

[heavy breathing and creaking]

Mark.

Ow, Mark!

Ow, Mark. Stop it, it hurts.

Stop. Stop!

Mark! You're hurting me!

Fuck!

MARK: I can't fucking do this. I can't fucking do this.

This whole fucking thing is so pathetic.

Mark.

MARK: Do you have any idea?

♪somber music fades in What? What is it?

How unhappy I am.

Don't. Don't comfort me.

What am I supposed to do?

Nothing. We re just nothing.

What are you talking about?

Can't you see? Look at us.

We ll get through this.

TRACY: Whatever it is, we ll get through it.

You're so fucking delusional.

We will not get through this because this is over.

I m just done. Do you get it?

♪music ends with guitar strum

[pounding sounds on door]

[persistent pounding sounds]

TRACY: Sebastian! Sebastian! Please open up!

[loud sobbing and gasping]

Well, if you need anything else, I ll be working.

Just get some rest.

SEBASTIAN: Okay?

He s gay.

SEBASTIAN: What?

Mark. He s gay. I walked on him with a guy.

SEBASTIAN: What, today?

No. A couple of months ago.

SEBASTIAN: You mean, all this time...

It just feels so stupid.

♪somber music fades in SEBASTIAN: But it s not your fault.

I ve known. I guess I ve always known.

I just thought that if he loved me enough...

SEBASTIAN: Tracy.

Stay with me. I don't want to me alone.

Can you...lay down with me?

[indistinct voices]

2ND AD: We need him on set in five minutes.

Well I need four of em.

2ND AD: He hasn t finished make-up.

All right, three. I m trying to help the movie.

MARK: What's going on?

KRISTA: You tell me.

MARK: Uh...

KRISTA: I m not hearing good things Mark. Everything was swell.

And now I m getting reports that you are distracted, tired, grumpy.

Are you still fighting with that girl?

Tracy.

Whatever.

No. Things are great.

If she fucks this movie up, I m going to go over there and dump her ass for you.

KRISTA: Are you an artist?

What?

Artists don't compromise, and they don't let themselves get bogged down in petty bullshit.

They focus on their job, and they create.

Make-up!

Does my body turn you on?

It just feels so weird to have been with someone for so long and, and to not...feel wanted.

Aren't you supposed to feel wanted?

Yes.

What does that feel like? Have you felt it?

Yes.

Was it nice?

SEBASTIAN: It was...inspiring.

What did it inspire you to do?

Everything. Anything.

Sherri?

Why would she do that? It just, it makes no sense.

You're so wonderful, and it just so doesn t matter.

It s life. You'll learn.

The older you get, the less people make sense.

That s bull. What do you know?

Who was the last person that you talked to besides me?

Maybe you should put some clothes on.

Why? Do I threaten you? Do you not like a woman s body?

I m going to get changed.

Tracy, I have no explanation for the way people love, or who they love or why they love them.

And I m sorry that your boyfriend is gay, but don't take it out on me. I know how much it hurts.

Look at me. Don't you think I know?

[mosquito and cricket sounds]


♪light piano music plays


SEBASTIAN: Uh...Nnn...

SEBASTIAN: No, stop. This, this, this isn't what you want.

TRACY: Yes. Yes, I do want you.

TRACY: Don't go. I want this. You need this.

SEBASTIAN: Stop.

Don't you see? I don't care. I think you're beautiful.

SEBASTIAN: Stop!

Just get out of my house! Just get out!

[dog barking sounds]

[footstep sounds moving away]

[bird chirping sounds]

MARK: Oh, Tracy. Tracy. Tracy.

Oh God, are you okay?

TRACY: I had nowhere else to go.

What happened?

I didn t have anything. I need my phone, my keys.

Where have you been?

I need my stuff.

Where have you been, Tracy? None of your business.

TRACY: And that s pretty much it. I m coming home.

Sorry to make you lose your bet, Leesh.

ALICIA: I can't believe it.

ALICIA: Stop that, honey, not now.

ALICIA: I just wish I could hug you right now.

Well, give me two days and you can.

[louder clanging sounds]

ALICIA: Oliver! Stop it. Oliv...Stop it.

Listen to me. Don't come back. [clanging sounds]

ALICIA: Give mommy that pot.

You want to come back here and end up like me?

I don't think so.

OLIVER: Roar!

Look, maybe you've got nothing, but I, I d rather have nothing in Los Angeles than nothing here.

Yeah, I guess. I ll, I ll figure it out. Thanks, Leesh.

♪uplifting music plays LUANN: Ooh, that trouser snake. What did he do?

TRACY: Nothing.

LUANN: This is my area of expertise.

TRACY: I m, I m sorry. I, I just can't.

I just really need a place to live.

It s not about where you live.

It s about what you do in this life.

Do no harm. Do listen to your innermost self.

Do whatever strikes your fancy. Just do, Tracy.

Yeah, thanks. Um, I really just need a place to live.

I don't have anywhere else to go.

I slept on the patio last night.

The patio?

Mm-hm.

Make him move.

Yeah. He thought I was staying someplace else, and...

The last few days have just been really weird.

LUANN: Oh you sly foxess. Who is he?

No, no, no. It s not like that.

Come on, you can tell Luann. Come on.

I wasn t cheating. We re just friends, but um, I ve been spending a little bit of time at Sebastian s.

What? My Sebastian?

Yeah.

[dog barking sounds]

[knocking sounds]

Don't shut the door.

Hey. Are you going back to Wisconsin?

No.

MARK: Moving in with your new boyfriend?

I don't have a boyfriend.

Well you've certainly been...

I don't have anyone.

Trace...I m really sorry about the other day.

I just lost it.

MARK: Where s all my stuff?

Packed.

LUANN: There is no way you're getting your deposit back.

LUANN: Have you seen any good movies lately?

No.

Oh that s a shame 'cause there are some very, very good ones out there.

You look really familiar.

I met you seven years ago when you moved in.

No, I mean, besides that.

Are you from Miami?

Not again Pooch.

You're Mitzi.

From My Pal Pooch.

That s right, baby, I am.

Wow. I loved that show.

Yeah?

I think that s everything.

Tracy, you mean more to me than anyone in the whole world.

You're family. And I m going to do whatever it takes to make sure we stay close for the rest of our lives.

You're so full of it.

This is how you treat your family? For six, six years...

You let me believe...

I gave you everything that I had, and all you gave me was lies.

I don't know anything about you. I m just so embarrassed.

I don't think that I ll ever get over it.

Do you need any money til you get a job or something?

Fuck you, Mark.

[footstep sounds moving away] [door opening and closing sound]

Give me a word, any word.

LUANN: Just play along.

SEBASTIAN: Revolting.

Perfect, revolting. One word. Many shadings.

One. Verb. To renounce allegiance. Two, also verb.

To be offensive to the taste or sensibilities of. Because you Are a revolting person, you revolt me.

Therefore, I shall revolt against you.

Tada.

That s impressive. I think it s time you left.

Have I revolted you?

No. I just think that I ve reached my quota for human interaction for the day.

Understood. Has anybody signed up for tomorrow s slot?

What are you doing here?

Do you want the truth or a lie?

Lie.

The truth is you fascinate me.

I gotta dash. I ll see you tomorrow?

[landline phone ringing sounds] [voicemail clicking sounds]

TRACY: Hi, this is Tracy. If you want to reach Mark, TRACY: you can call his cell.

TRACY: Or just leave a message for me at the beep.

[beeping sound]

TRACY S DAD: Tracy, it s dad again.

TRACY S DAD: Why aren't you calling me back? What is going on out there?

TRACY S DAD: We watched that video of Mark on the Internet. Is that real?

TRACY S DAD: Your mom hasn t stopped crying since she saw it.

TRACY S DAD: Call me back the minute you get this.

[beeping sound]

♪dark dramatic music plays

NEWSCASTER: Celebrity Stalker exclusive.

Actor Mark Lewis in a leaked gay sex video.

Warning, this is explicit.

[moaning sounds can be heard]

[indistinct voices]

KRISTA: Can we talk?

What s up?

KRISTA: I need to know, was this a one time, I m drunk, it s college, let s experiment kind of thing? Or are you whole-hog gay?

Ah, shit. Uh, it was college.

I had no idea he was taping it. I was just experimenting.

It looks like you knew exactly what the fuck you were doing, and it looked like you were having a good time doing it.

I was on ecstasy.

You can't lie to me.

If we have any hope of salvaging any kind of career for you, I need to know exactly what I m dealing with.

No more surprises.

I m on your side. I just need to know the truth.

I m gay.

Fuck.

I ve never said it out loud before.

Well bully for you. Uh, are there any other tapes?

I don't think so.

Shit. You sound entirely unconvincing.

Okay, so we re just going to spin this as a phase you went through.

You were experimenting after seeing all sorts of new things in college, but ultimately, all it did was help to reaffirm your complete and total straightness.

Is that why you broke up with the girl?

Well, you need to patch things up.

Yeah, that s not gonna happen.

Do it. I don't care what you have to do. Do it.

No. I, I can't do that.

What is more important to you?

Do you want a career as an actor? Then you're going to have to patch things up.

What if I just come clean?

I mean, what are they gonna do, kick me off the movie?

They'd have to start over. I m gay, so what?

We can just tell the truth.

No, we can't.

Yes, they will fire you.

Why throw good money after bad?

If you're gay, this movie s dead in the water.

So don't be gay, got it? Go make up with Tracy.

♪upbeat jazz music plays Oh my God.

Oh come on. It s still wine.

Okay. But only because you want me to.

Thank you.

Still don't like this stuff.

Ugh, I don't know.

Stupendous. Tomorrow, we try beer.

Don't push it.

I m pushing every day, baby.

Stupendous.

I m sorry. Is that against the rules?

Oh well.

♪upbeat jazz music continues

RICKY: Hey, hey, Hot Wings. Long time no see.

Can I get a chicken burrito?

That s it? Where's the adventurous spirit?

Right.

Um, Megan, chicken burrito please?

MEGAN: Chicken burrito, coming up.

[traffic sounds can be heard]

RICKY: Well, I m glad you came by.

It s nice to say goodbye to my prettiest customer.

We re shutting the truck down next week.

What?

You've seen the lines.

Nobody wants our food. We re losing money hand over fist.

I have tried every food truck in L.A. Yours is the best.

Well, hipsters have spoken.

That s ridiculous.

MEGAN: Chicken burrito.

RICKY: No, Tracy, please. This one's on me.

[soft crying sounds]

RICKY: Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, we ll...It s okay, we ll be fine.

PAULA: So, you excited about today? Yeah? I tell you something, that workout scene is going to be epic.

You know you're killing it out there, right?

You know that, right?

Yeah.

Okay, all right, great. Great work, great work. We ll uh, see you in a bit.

PATRICK: This sucks.

KRISTA: Hey, you, hands off the merchandise.

Are you kidding me?

KRISTA: I think it s better if you two weren't seen together, don't you?

PATRICK: I think we re on set.

KRISTA: I don't care. This is how it has to be. Right Mark?

♪low piano music plays

[traffic sounds heard in distance]


♪upbeat music fades in


♪upbeat music intensifies

RICKY: Tracy!

RICKY: You made it to our last day.

TRACY: Maybe. Maybe not.

I have a business proposal for you. Can I come in?

♪latin music plays

TRACY: Yucatan Wisconsin.

Check this out.

Jicama slaw with dried cranberries. Try it.

Beer-battered brat poc chuc.

Are you kidding me?

Holy. Shit.

TRACY: Don't close the truck.

Let s rebrand it and sell really good hybrid food.

We ll call it...

Yucatan-consin.

MEGAN: That s a terrible fucking name.

Okay, but still. What do you say?

SEBASTIAN: I'll see you tomorrow.

LUANN: Right on.

SEBASTIAN: Good.

Oh, I almost forgot. Okay, can I open this?

No.

Right, okay. I finally, finally found this for you.

What is it?

About fifteen years ago, there was a movie shooting all around this neighborhood, and I was the locations manager.

And what I wanted to do was give you a taste of the outside, so, this is sort of like Google Maps but homemade.

It s beautiful.

There's your house.

LUANN: You are here.

♪heartwarming music fades in LUANN: You are here.

I m afraid.

I know. We re here together.

I m not going anywhere. It s okay.

♪latin music plays RICKY: Here, here, here. Try it. Huh?

TRACY: Wow, that s amazing.

RICKY: Mm-hmm.

Can we work that into a mac-and-cheddar dish?

Yeah. Yeah, why don't we throw in some pork shoulder and some ancho chiles?

Are they hot? I think a smoky flavor would be best.

Try it.

♪latin music plays RICKY: Oh my God.

Your knives are the worst, seriously.

I know. Working on it.

Mmmmm.

Ew. Ew. Oh, ew. Yuck. It s bitter.

Yeah, you're supposed to cook them first.

You're evil.

They're only slightly bitter after you cook them.

I think they accentuate the sharpness of the cheddar nicely.

Let s give it a try.

♪latin music plays If these all work that s seven mains. That s about right, yeah?

That s perfect.

♪low guitar music plays

[indistinct voices] [bird chirping sounds]

[cell phone ding and buzz]

♪soft positive music plays

[fast knocking sounds]

SEBASTIAN: One second. Okay, it s all clear. Come in.

[door opening sound]

[door closing sound]

Hi.

Hi.

Glad I caught you at home.

How long have you been working on that line?

About three weeks.

I am the biggest A-hole.

Go on.

I was so selfish. I should ve never...

No, no you shouldn t have.

So. What can we do to fix things? Anything?

I pretend it never happened.

Okay. I ll get the wine.

Ha, ha. Okay.

TRACY: Hey, where d you put all the empties?

You want to see my painting?

TRACY: Okay...

TRACY: Wow. It s so realistic.

SEBASTIAN: Yeah, it s this whole new technique I m trying out.

What is it?

It s the view from Luann s bay window.

My Luann? No. My Luann.

Your Luann?

Yes. Yes indeed.

Oh, you dirty dog.

SEBASTIAN: I am.

That s great.

SEBASTIAN: Ow.

♪high energy latin music plays

[indistinct voices]

RICKY: Alright, what s your name, darling?

MICAH: Micah.

RICKY: Micah, lovely name. What do you want?

MEGAN: Order up for Tiffany. Tiffany, there you go.

Thank you, have a good day.

Oh my God. She was so hot.

RICKY: One Pork Mac, one Poc Chuc!

TRACY: Pork Mac, Poc Chuc.

RICKY: Yeah. For Lisa, huh.

TRACY: For Lisa. Okay, next.

Are you gay?

MEGAN: Yeah, that I am.

RICKY: What do you want? What's your name my friend?

CONNOR: Connor.

How did you know?

Seriously? Look, anyone who hits puberty and doesn t know who they're attracted to is lying, at least to themselves.

RICKY: Another Poc Chuc, three all day.

TRACY: Poc Chuc.

MEGAN: Adam. I personally have always known that...

I like women. I don't like dick. Adam, order up.

Yeah, but dick is so...

MEGAN: It happens.

♪slow tempo music plays TRACY: So...

TRACY: I was thinking of having a little birthday barbecue for myself and my friend Sebastian.

It s his birthday too?

No, it s, it s kind of his coming out party.

He s not gay, he just, he just doesn t get out much.

Are you sure you want to cook on your day off?

Yeah. For him. And for you.

♪soft jazz music plays RICKY: Two hundred and forty dollars more than last night.

RICKY: And we owe it all to you...Hot Wings.

Am I ever going to live that down?

To Tracy.

RICKY: You okay?

I m great.

♪soft jazz music plays TRACY: To Mexi-Consin. Who knew they'd go together so well?

You did.

♪soft jazz music plays RICKY: Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. We should clean up first. Wait.

It s clean enough.

♪soft jazz music plays

[glass clinking sound]

♪soft jazz music plays RICKY: Are you going to be able to walk...

[glass sounds]

♪upbeat music plays

[traffic sounds] [bird chirping sounds]

LUANN: Are you going to be sufficiently able to do this?

SEBASTIAN: It s time already?

Yes. I m gonna be tardy, and so will you.

If you want, I can always swing by here on my way to Tracy s.

Lu, I ll meet you there.

Okay.

I mapped it, and it s close, so I m going to print off directions and walk and then...

Mm-hm. You're sure?

I can do this.

You can do this. You can do this because you're a stalwart man.

I m a scared man.

I know. But it s gonna be okay.

Trust me.

Mm-hmm.

TRACY: I swear, every year, no matter where I am, my birthday s always the hottest day of the year.

RICKY: Mmm.


MEGAN: You okay?

Yeah. I m good, I m great. How s the grill?

It s clean, it s hot, it s ready to go.

Awesome. Yeah.

MARK: Uh, hi.

I m sorry. I didn t realize. This is a bad time?

RICKY: No, no, no. Sebastian, it s Ricky. It s nice to meet you.

What are you doing here?

I wanted to see you.

Why?

It s your birthday. I uh...

RICKY: Uh, should we...

TRACY: No.

Do you mind, just like, five minutes?

I mind.

Come on, Trace. Just give me a chance.

You got something to say? Say it.

Talk to me. For once.

This is stupid.

I m leaving.

See ya.

[hollow metal clang sound]

MARK: Fuck. Fine.

MARK: I get it. I m gay, I...and I really didn t want that.

But it s just true.

We both knew it.

Makes me sick how I treated you.

I just uh, I don't know, um... I'm really sorry about it.

That s all.

Mark, wait.

I loved you.

I made a lot of really bad decisions because of that.

RICKY: Hey Megan, let s go.

That was embarrassing. Is he uh...

Oh you know...I don't know.

He s really good-looking.

I know, right.

TRACY: Can I open it?

[paper ripping sounds]

Mark...you broke my heart.

I...I... I...um...

I can't hold who you are against you.

At least not forever.

Maybe for a little while.

Well, will you call me when you're getting close?

Yeah, totally.

Thanks Tracy.

TOMAS: Hey. What's up, movie star?

MARK: Hi. Is Jonathan home?

JONATHAN: You sure you want to do this?

Cause up til this point, the public will believe whatever you tell them. But if you do the interview... cross that line, you cannot come back from it.

You'll be fair?

JONATHAN: Whatever it s worth, I do believe the closer you get to your true self, the happier you are.

I remember in second grade, I couldn t stop staring at Will Hauser,

and I reme...I remember thinking, I bet this is a crush.

But... but that doesn t make sense.

[mosquito sounds] ♪soft string music plays

RICKY: It was really a good experience.

LUANN: Hi! Happy birthday, you gorgeous girl.

Thank you.

I m sorry I m so tardy.

LUANN: That s for you.

Thank you. Where s Sebastian?

He s not here?

Hm-mm.

Fudge.

[faint knocking sound]

[mosquito sounds]

Hi.

LUANN: Next time. We ll do it next time.

This is the worst birthday ever.

You've got me.

I can't.

What s up?

Oh Ricky, I mean, you're just like, the best guy, but...

I know.

But...

I just can't do this.

You're going to swallow me up.

Well, that sounds like...

I m serious.

I can feel it happening already, what can I do for him?

How can I make him happy?

Aw, come on.

I like you a lot.

But we re in business together.

♪soft music plays That truck is the most important thing to me.

I can't do both, not right now.

Can we be...colleagues?

Colleagues?

How about friends?

Friends sounds good.

But no slipping.

I promise.

Thank you.

Bye Hot Wings.

Bye.

♪soft happy music

[knocking sounds]

Hey. It s not hoagies, but I think you'll like it.

Happy birthday.

LUANN: Okay.

Break it up and get your ass down here. I m famished.

SEBASTIAN: So what d you bring?

TRACY: You're going to love this.

SEBASTIAN: Yeah?

TRACY: I made um, I made a German potato salad...

TRACY: I thought I knew exactly what my life was going to look like.

Man, was I wrong.

I m twenty-two years old, and I don't have anything I ever wanted. But I ve got me, and I ve got friends, and that s a pretty good start.

LUANN: This is so great.

TRACY: I put, it s a lemon-basil dressing.

LUANN: What the...

TRACY: I know, right.

♪ up tempo music out