The Hateful Eight (2015) Script

Chapter one last stage to red rock


got room for one more?

Who the hell are you, and what happened to them?

Names major marquis Warren former U.S. calvary.

Currentrly I'm a servant of the court.

Tryin' to bringin' a coupla' no-goods into market.

I got paperwork on 'em in my pocket.

You takin' 'em into red rock?

I figure that's where you headed, right?

That damblasted blizzards been on our ass for the last three hours.

Ain't no way we gonna make it all the way to red rock 'fore it catches us.

So ya' hightailin' it halfway to minnie's haberdashery?

You know I am.

May I come aboard? Well smoke...

It up to me, yes.

But it ain't up to me. Who's it up to?

Fella in the wagon.

Fella' in the wagon not partial to company?

Fella' in the wagon he paid for a private trip. And I'm here to tell ya'...

He paid a pretty penny for privacy. So if you wanna' go to minnie's with us...

You gotta' talk to him. Well...

That's what I'll do.

Hold it black fella'!

'Fore you approach, you take them two guns of yours and lay 'em on that rock over yonder.

Then you raise both your hands way above your hat.

Then you approach...

Molasses-like.

Real trustin' fella', huh?

Not so much.

Put 'em down.

Come on ahead.

I said way above your hat, god dammit.

Now come forward.

That's far enough.

I'll be dogged, you black fella' I know.

Col. Something Warren, right?

Major marquis Warren.

I know you too.

We shared a steak dinner once upon a time in chattanooga.

You John Ruth, the hangman.

That be me.

How longs that been? Since that steak?

Eight months.

So why don't you explain to me...

What an African bounty hunter's doin' wanderin' around in the snow in the middle of Wyoming.

I'm tryin' to get a coupla' of bounty's to red rock.

So you still in business?

You know I am.

What happened to your horse?

Circumstances caused us to take the long way around. My horse couldn't make it.

You don't know nothin' about this filly here?

Nope.

Don't even know your name?

Nope.

Well I guess that makes this one fortuitous wagon.

I sure as hell hope so.

Major marquis Warren, this here is Daisy domergue.

Domergue, to you, this is maj. Warren.

Howdy nigger!

She's a pepper, ain't she?

Now girl, don't you know darkee's don't like bein' called niggers no more. They find it offensive.

I been called worse. Now that I can believe.

Heard of her? Should I?

Well she ain't no John wilkes booth, but...

Maybe you might of heard tell 'bout the price on her head.

How much? Ten thousand dollars.

Damn, what she do? Kill Lily langtree?

Not quite.

Now that ten thousand's practically in my pocket.

It's why I ain't too anxious to be handin' out rides.

Especially to professionals open for business.

Well I certainly can appreciate that. I ain't got no designs on her.

One of my fella's over there is worth four thousand, one's worth three, and one's worth one.

That's damn sure good enough for me.

Well...

Let me see their paperwork.

Like I said, molasses-like.

Back off.


Look...

I sure hate to interrupt y'all! But we gtta' cold damn blizzard, hot on our asses we tryin' to beat to shelter!

I realize that!

Now shut your mouth and hold them damn horses while I think!

Okay boy, we'll give it a try.

But you leave those pistols over yonder with the driver.

You ain't really gonna' let that nigger ridin' in here is ya'? I mean maybe up there with o.B., but-

how you like the sound of them bells, bitch?

They are real pretty, ain't they?

You open up your trashy mouth again, I'll knock out them front teeth for ya'. You got it?

Yeah.

Let me hear you say: "I got it."

I got it.

Well, I'm gonna need some help tyin' these fella's up on the roof.

Give o.B. Fifty dollars when ya' get to red rock, and he'll help ya'.

Well, I agree with o.B. This storm's got me concerned.

We get goin' a lot quicker you help out too.

Goddammit to hell, I'm already regretting this!

Now I can't likely help ya' tie fella's to the roof with my wrist cuffed to hers.

And my wrist is gonna' stay cuffed to hers, and she ain't never gonna' leave my goddamn side, until I personally put her in the red rock jail! Now do you got that?

Yeah, I got it. Good.

Translation/timings/creator by: Deluce


so what happend to your horse?

He got old.

I done had him for a bit.

When the weather took a turn for the worse, he done what he could, but he couldn't make it.

That's too bad. Yes it is.

Me an' ole lash rode a lotta' miles together.

You could say he was my best friend-if I considered stupid animals firends, which I don't.

Never the less... I'm gonna' miss 'em.

Who's Daisy domergue?

A no damn good murdering bitch, that's who.

I can see you ain't got mixed emotions 'bout bringing a woman to a rope.

If by woman, you mean her?

No I do not have mixed emotions.

So you takin' her into red rock to hang?

You bet. Gonna' wait to watch it?

You know I am.

I wanna' hear her neck snap with my own two ears.

You never wait to watch 'em hang?

My bounties never hang, cause I never bring 'em in alive.

Never?

Never ever.

We talked about this in chattanooga.

Bringing desperate men in alive, is a good way to get yourself dead.

Can't catch me sleepin' if I don't close my eyes.

I don't wanna' work that hard.

No one said the job was suppose to be easy.

No one said it was suppose to be that hard, nether.

But that little lady, is why they call him "the hangman".

When the handbill says dead or alive, the rest of us shoot ya' in the back from up on top of a perch somewhere, bring ya' in dead over a saddle. But when John Ruth the hangman catches ya', you don't die by a bullet in the back.

When the hangman catches you... You hang.

You overrate 'em nigger.

I'll give you he got guts.

But in the brains department, he like a man who took a high dive in a low well.

Now Daisy, I want us to work out a signal system of communication.

When I elbow you real hard in the face...

That means: Shut up.

You got it?

I got it.


I...

I know we only met each other once before.

And I don't mean to unduly imply intimacy. But...

Well...

You still got it?

I still got, what?

The Lincoln letter?

Of course.

Do you got it on you?

Where?

Right here.

Look, I know you gotta' be real careful with it and all.

I can imagine you probably don't like to take it in an'out of the envelope all that often.

But if you wouldn't mind, I'd sure appreciate seein' that again.

You right, I don't like taking it in an'out of the envelope that much.

Yeah. But...

As your saving my life an' all, I suppose I could let you read it again.


"Ole Mary Todd's callin', so I guess it must be time for bed"

ole Mary Todd.

That gets me.

That gets me too.

You know what this is, tramp?

It's a letter from Lincoln.

It's a letter from Lincoln to him.

They shared a correspondence during the war.

They was pen pals. This is just one of the letters.

What the...

O.B.

Stop!

Whoa, easy.

Of all the stupid, like to rip my goddamn arm off!


I didn't, drag her stikin' ass up this goddamn mountain, just for you to break her neck on the ouskirts of town.

You the one handed her my goddamn letter.

I didn't give it to her, I gave it to you!

That nigger like to bust my jaw.

You ruin that letter of his, that niggers gonna' stomp your ass to death. And when he do, I'm gonna sit back on that wagon wheel watch and laugh.

How is it?

She didn't help it none.

But it's alright.

Is that the way niggers treat their ladies?

You... ain't no goddamn... lady!

Hey mister Ruth?

What?

There's another fella' on foot, up here on the road!

What?

I said, there's another fella' on foot, up here on the road!


Considering there's a blizzard goin' on, whole lotta' fellas walkin' around, wouldn't you say, major?

Considerin I'm one half of them fellas, yeah...

Seems to be a lot of 'em.

This changes things, son.

Eight thousand dollars a lotta' money for a nigger.

But with a partner, eighteen's a whole lot better.

You really think I'm in cahoots wit' that fella'? Or her?

Put them on. I ain't wearin' handcuffs.

You put those on or you can stop worryin' about this whole thing, right now.

Chapter two son of a gun hand your weapons to the driver.

Little jumpy, ain't you?

Never mind the jokes, just do it.

If you say so. I do.


Okay...

I done did it.

O.B.? Ya' got 'em?

I got 'em! Okay fella', you keep holdin' that lantern in that one hand, and you keep that other hand where I can see it.

Walk over there where I can get a good look at cha'.

I'll be a goddamn dog in the manger.

Is that you Chris mannix?

I'm sorry friend, do we know each other? Not quite.

You know this fella'? Only by reputation.

Like I said friend, you got me at a bit of a disadvantage.

Keepin' you at a disadvantage, is a advantage I intend to keep.

Whoever you are mister, you sure sound tough when you're talkin' to a desperate man knee deep in snow.

I don't want no trouble.

I just wanna' ride. I'm freezin to death.

Who is this joker.

You heard of the rebel renegade erskine mannix?

Mannix's marauders? That's them.

The scourge of south Carolina, mannix marauders.

That's erskine's youngest boy, Chris.

What brings you in my path, Chris mannix?

Well Mr. face, I was riding to red rock and my horse stepped in a gopher hole in the snow, fucked up his leg, an' had to put 'er down.

You got business in red rock?

Yes I do. What?

I'm the new sheriff.

Horseshit. 'Fraid not.

Where is your star? Well I ain't the sheriff yet.

Once I get there they swear me in, but that ain't happened yet.

And that's when you get your star.

You got anything that can back any of this up?

Yeah. When we get to red rock.

And from the look of those three frozen fuckers up there, I figure you're a bounty hunter open for business.

And I figure you're taking them three dead bodies into red rock to get paid?

Three dead.

One alive.

Who's that? Daisy domergue.

Who the fuck is Daisy domergue?

Not a goddamn thing to nobody, except me and the hangman.

The hangman?

Well I'll be double dogged damned.

You're the hangman, Bob Ruth. It's John.

And you...

Your're the nigger with the head...

Major marquis.

My lord, is that really the real head of major marquis, lookin' at me now?

Yeah it's really me and it's really my head.

What's goin' on, y'all havin' a bounty hunters picnic?

Never mind, you takin' in them three dead bodies and her to red rock to get paid, ain't ya'?

Yeah.

Well...

The man is red rock suppose to pay you is me. The new sherrif.

So if you wanna get paid, you need to get me to red rock.

Well execuse me for findin' it hard to belive a town electin' you to do anything except drop dead.

So I'm suppose to freeze death, 'cause you find something hard to belive?

No I suppose not.

Put them on and come inside.

No.

Then you'll freeze. Then you'll hang.

How so?

Driver!

Could you come down here and join us?

I gotta hold these horses I can hear you just fine from up here.

You heard me tell this fella' I'm the new sheriff of red rock, right?

Yeah.

Red rock is my town.

And I'm gonna' enter my town in bounty hunters chains? No sir!

Sorry bushwackers, I ain't entering red rock that way.

When you finally get to red rock, you're going to realize every goddamn thing I said was right.

And I expect you, o.B., to tell the townsfolk of red rock that John Ruth, let their new sheriff freeze to death.

There ain't no bounty on my head, bushwacker.

You let me die, that's murder.

Hold out your hands.

O.B.

Give the major back his iron.

One thing I know for sure, this nigger-hatin' son of a gun ain't partnered up with you.

Now...

I'll help protect your eight thousand, you help me protect my ten, deal?

Ain't love grand. Y'all wanna' lie on the ground and make snow angels together?

Tell ya' what, Bob- the name's John.

When we get to red rock, I'll buy you and major marquis there dinner and booze.

May way of sayin' thanks. I don't drink, with rebel renegades, and I damn sure don't break bread with 'em.

Well Mr. Ruth, you sound like you got a axe to grind against the cause.

The cause of a renegade army?

A bunch of losers gone loco, you bet I do.

Ya' wrapped yourselves up in the rebel flag as an excuse to kill and steal.

And this should interest you Warren, imparticular emancipated blacks.

Sounds like my kinda' fella'.

Sounds to me you been readin' a lotta' newspapers printed in Washington D.C.

Anywho, I'm just tryin' to let y'all know grateful I am.

I was a goner, and y'all saved me.

You wanna' show me how grateful you are...

Shut up!

God damnit, Daisy it's comin'.

Here, last piece.

Does he know how famous you once was?

I don't think so.

Black eye.

Do you know who he is?

Do I know about the thirty thousand dollar reward the confederacy put on the head of major marquis?

Yeah.

Them hillbillies went nigger head hunting, but they never did get 'em the right nigger head, did they?

No they didn't.

But it wasn't for lack of tryin'.

Them peckawoods left their homes and their families, and come to this snowy mountain, lookin' for me and fortune.

None of them found fortune.

The ones you ain't ever heard of no more, they found me.

Now it didn't stay 30 thousand the length of the war.

Once passions had colled, it dropped down to eight, then five.

But, I bet even when it was five thousand, you had your share of country boys comin' to call?

You know I did.

Why did they have a reward on you?

The confederates took exception to my capacity for killing them.

After I broke out of wellenbeck, the south took my continued existence as a personal affront.

So the cause put a reward on my head.

What's...

Wellenbeck?

You ain't never heard of wellenbeck prisoner of war camp, West Virginia?

No reb, I ain't never heard of it!

You bust out?

Maj. Marquis did more than bust out.

Maj. Marquis had a bright idea. So bright...

You got to wonder, why nobody never thought about it before.

Tell John Ruth about your bright idea.

Well the whole damn place was just made out of kindling.

So I burnt it down.

There was a rookie regiment spendin' the overnight in that camp.

Forty-seven men... Burnt to a crisp.

Southern youth, farmer's sons, cream of the crop- and I say, "let 'em burn".

I'm suppose to apologize for killin' Johnny reb?

You joined the war to keep niggers in chains.

I joined the war to kill white Southern crackers and that means kill 'em anyway I can.

Shoot 'em. Stab 'em. Drown 'em. Burn 'em.

Drop a big ole' rock on their head.

Whatever it took to put white Southern crackers in the ground that's what I joined the war to do, and that's what I did.

To answer your question, John Ruth, when major marquis burned forty seven men alive, for no more a reason then to give a nigger a run for the trees, that's when the south put a reward on the head of major marquis.

And I made them trees, mannix.

And you best belive I ain't look back till I crossed the northern line.

But you had a surprise waitin' for you on the northern side, didn't ya'?

See once they started pullin' out all the burnt bodies at wellenbeck, seems not all of them boys were rebs.

You burnt up some of your own boys, didn't ya' major?

How many burnt prisoners they end up findin'?

Wasn't the final yankee death count somethin' like thirty-seven?

That's the thing about war mannix, people die.

So ya' chalkin' it up to "war is hell", ha?

Well admittedly that's a hard argument to argue with. But if memory serves, your side didn't look at it that way.

I think they thought, thirty-seven white men for one nigger wasn't so hot a trade.

I belive they accused you of being a kill crazy nigger who only joined the war to kill white folks and the whole blue and grey of it all didn't really much matter to ya'.

And that's why they drummed your black ass outta' the cavalry with a yellow stripe down your back.

Isn't it major?

Horse shit.

If he did all that, the cavalry woulda' shot him.

I didn't say they could prove it.

But they sure did think it out loud, didn't they major?

But, Warren's war record was stellar, and that's what saved his ass.

Are you killed yourself your share of redskins in your day, didn't ya' black major?

Cavalry tends to look kindly on that.

I'll tell a' what the cavalry didn't look kindly on.

Mannix's marauders that's what.

And the fact that erskine mannix's little boy would talk about anybody else's behavior during war time makes me wanna horse laugh.

Don't you say anything about my daddy, what he fought for, was dignity in defeat, and against the unconditional surrender.

We weren't foreign barbatians pounding on the city walls.

We were your brothers.

We deserved dignity in defeat. Just, how many nigger towns did y'all sack in your fight for dignity in defeat?

My faire share, black major.

'Cuz when niggers are scared, that's when white folks are safe.

You gonna talk that hateful nigger talk, you ride up top wtih o.B.

No no no, you got me talkin' politics I didn't wanna'.

Like I said y'all, I'm just happy to be alive.

I...

I think I'll just look out this winda' let this beatuiful carriage rock me to sleep.

And dream about how lucky I am.

Chapter three minnie's haberdashery


get in there.

Easy.


What the hell's going on, we weren't expecting another stage tonight?

I can see you already got another one up in here.

I just got through putting the horses away.

This ain't the normal line. But we are stuck on the wrong side of a blizzard, so it looks like you're stuck with us. Are minnie and sweet Dave inside?

They ain't here. I'm running the place while they're gone.

Where's minnie and sweet Dave?

He says they ain't here. He's lookin' after the place while they gone.

Who are you?

I'm Bob.

Well whoever you are, help o.B. With the horses.

Get 'em outta this cold, before that blizzard hit's 'em.

I just put those other horses away. You need it done fast, you need to help.

I got two of my best men on it.

You heard him freeloaders, get to work.

Come on let's go!

Open up! Kick it open!

What? Kick it open!

Shut that door, there's a goddamn blizzard out there!

You gotta' nail it shut! You have to nail it shut!

Hold it shut! There's a hammer and nails by the door!

You have to nail it shut! There's a hammer and nails by the door!

Give me a hammer. Yeah.

You need to do two pieces of wood! One ain't good enough!

Two pieces of wood. That fuckin' thing is busted!

Not just one piece of wood.

Gimme that other piece of wood. Yeah, allright.

Gimme the nail. Here.

Jesus.

That door's a son of a gun.

Who's the idiot who broke that, that Mexican fella'?

Good heavens, a woman out in this white hell. You must be frozen solid, poor thing.

Looks like minnie's got her a full house.

When did you fella's arrive?

About forty minutes ago.

The cowboy fella' in the courner, is that your driver?

No he's a passenger.

The driver lit out. He said he was going to spend the blizzard shacked up with a friend.

Jesus Christ, that's awful!

Christ almighty, what that Mexican fella' do, soak his ole socks in the pot?

I think we all felt the same way, but were a little too polite to say something.

He don't have that problem. . Where's the well water?

Over there.

So, all three of you fellas' headed to red rock, when the blizzard stopped ya', huh?

Yes, all three of us were on that stagecouch out there.

Coffybeans?

Over there.

Get your hand outta' there.

The new sheriff of red rock is traveling with us.

Sheriff of red rock, that'll be the day.

If he is a goddamn sheriff, I'm a monkey's uncle.

Good.

Then you can share bananas with your nigger friend in the stable.

So...

The new sheriff of red rock is traveling with you?

No he's lyin' he ain't sheriff of nothin' he's a Southern renegade. He's just talkin' his self outta' freezin' to death, is all.

What the fuck I tell you about talkin', huh?

I'll bust you in the mouth right in front of these people, I don't give a fuck!

You never gave your name, sir.

John Ruth.

Are you a lawman? I'm takin' her to the law.

You're a bounty hunter? That's right, Buster.

Do you have a warrant? 'Course I do.

May I see it?

Why?

You're suppose to produce it upon request. How am I suppose to know, you're not a villain, kidnapping this woman without a warrant in your possession?

What's your name, Buster?

Well...

It certainly isn't Buster.

It's oswaldo mobray.

Oswaldo? Yes.

Well...

I got my warrant, oswaldo.

I take it you're Daisy domergue? Yeah it's her.

It says here, dead or alive? Yeah it does.

Transporting a desperate hostile prisoner such as her sounds like hard work. Wouldn't transporting her be easier if she were dead?

No one said the job was suppose to be easy.

And why is her hanging proper, so important to you?

Let's just say I don't like to cheat the hangman. He's gotta' make a living too.

Well I appreciate that.

Allow me to properly introduce myself.

I'm oswaldo mobray, the hangman in these parts.

Looks like I brought you a customer. So it would appear.

Have you ever spent two days or more locked up with one of your customers?

No I can't say I have.

Don't talk to my prisoner. I talk to my prisoner, that's it. You got it?

I got I got. Jolly good.

You got anything in here besides coffee that can help warm us up?

The bar is open, follow moi.


All right.

All right.

Come on, goddamnit I'm cold!

I'll feed and water the horses. You go inside and get some hot coffy.

I've got some stew cooking. Should be done soon.

Now look...

Now matter how bad this blizzard gets, we still gotta' feed these horses and take a squat from time to time.

So me an' Chris better lay out a line from the stable to the front door, and from the front door to the shithouse.

Okay?

Good idea.

Come on, Chris.

I'll give you a hand.

No no no, go inside, get warm.

You're doing stable work in a goddamn blizzard, I offer to help and you say no?

You're right, mi amigo.

Muchas gracias.

All right, follow me.

We gonna' drop one, every ten paces.

From here to the door. Yeah! - All right.


Now, you're wanted for murder.

For the sake of my analogy, let's just assume that you did it.

John Ruth wants to take you back to red rock to stand trail for murder.

And, if... You're found guilty, the people of red rock will hang you in the town square. And as the hangman, I will perform the execution.

And if all those things end up taking place, that's what civilized society calls "justice".

However, if the relatives and the loved ones of the person you murdered were outside that door right now.

And after busting down that door, they drug you out in the snow and hung you up by the neck, that, we would be frontier justice.

Now the good part about frontier justice is it's very thirst quenching.

The bad part is it's apt to be wrong as right.

Not in your case. In your case, you'd have it comin'. But other people, maybe not so much.

But ultimately what's the real difference between the two?

The real difference is me... The hangman.

To me, it dosen't matter what you did. When I hang you, I will get no satisfaction from your death. It's my job.

I hang you in red rock, I move on to the next town, I hang someone else there.

The man who pulls the lever, that breaks your neck will be a dispassionate man.

And that dispassion is the very essence of justice. For justice delivered without dispassion, is always in danger of not being justice.

Amen.


No offense cowboy fella', just gettin' your attention.

Yeah, well...

You got it.

What'cha writing firend?

Only thing I'm qualified to write about. What's that?

My life story.

You're writing your life story? You bet I am.

Am I in it?

You just entered.

Well you like writing stories so much, why don't you tell me the story that brings you here?

Who's askin'? I am.

John Ruth. I'm bringin' in this one to red rock to hang.

Ain't no way I'm spendin' a coupla' nights under a roof with somebody I don't know who you they are.

And I don't know who you are. So...

Who are you?

Joe gage. What?

That's my name, Joe gage.

Okay Joe gage, why you goin' to red rock?

I ain't goin' to red rock. Where you goin'?

About nine miles outside of red rock. What's there?

My mother.

Your mother?

Listen, I'm just a cow puncher I just...

I got back from a long drive and...

I wasn't just an ass in a saddle this time, I was a partner.

For the first time in my life I, made a pretty penny and, eh...

Come home and spend time with my mother for Christmas.

Now that's funny.

'Cuz you don't look like the coming home for Christmas type.

Yeah, well...

You know, looks can be deceiving.

Because I definitely am a...

Coming home for Christmas to spend time with mother type.

Christmas with mother? I mean...

It's a wonderful thing.

Now is that... good enough for you?

John Ruth?

For now.

Just steer clear of my prisoner.

Hello old timer.

General.

General.

You sir, are a hyena.

And I have no wish to speak to you.

I've been called worse.

Fair enough, general.

Sorry to bother you.

You gonna' kick it open. Kick it open.

It's already cold enough in here.

It dosen't have latch you gonna' hammer up a board.

You gotta' nail it shut!

The hammer and nails is by the door. There is a hammer and nails right there!

Oh god, holdin' this Chris. Here, here.

You need to nail it in!

You need two pieces of wood. You gotta' hammer another one.

One ain't good enough! It's gonna' blow right open.

Goddamn it! It's gotta' open if you don't.

Shut up! I got it! Son of a bitch!

Jesis Christ, that door's a whore!

I get it, haberdashery, that was a joke.

How's the coffy?

Now, pretty good, if I do say so myself.

Thank you.

Guess who he is?

Buffalo bill?

Hardly, no.

I'm oswaldo mobray, I'm the- he's the hangman of red rock.

Oh, you are? Yes I am.

Well good to meet you Mr.?

Mobray. Mobray, I'm Chris mannix, the new sheriff in red rock. Really?

Horseshit!

Pay no attention to him. Horseshit!

Fella' warmin' himself by the that pot by the stove is a hell of driver named o.B.

That's the only thing you said that's the truth.

You comin' into red rock to hang Lance Lawson?

Precisely.

Do you have the execution orders on you? In my beg.

May I see 'em? Of course.

Who's Lance Lawson?

He's a fell' been sittin' in the red rock jail about a month now.

He's the fella - who shot the fella' - who was sheriff 'fore me.

Precisely.

What did she mean when she said, bounty hunter's nigger friend in the stable?

He's got a nigger bounty hunter firend in the stable.

But all that just to guard her?

I don't think that was the original idea, but...

That's the idea now.

Want a lil' snakebite in your coffy? Yeah.

Five of you?

Well, well, well, looks like minnie's haberdashery is about to get cozy for the next few days.

Yes it does.

Who's the chap with the Lincoln letter?

The Lincoln what?

The letter from Abraham Lincoln?

President Abraham Lincoln?

Weren't you pen pals? With the president?

I'm sorry, I heard somebody in your party had a letter from Abraham Lincoln, I assumed it was you.

Not him!

The black fella' in the stable.

The nigger in the stable has a letter from Abraham Lincoln?

Yeah.

The nigger in the stable has a letter from Abraham Lincoln?

Say your name was again?

Bob. Warren.

Minnie and sweet Dave in there?

Minnie and sweet Dave went to visit her mother on the north side of the mountain.

What? Yeah.

They ain't here? Yes, they're visiting her mother.

Her mother? Yes.

I never knew minnie had a mother.

Everybody's got a mother.

Yeah, I suppose.

And she left you in charge? Si.

That sure don't sound like minnie.

Are you callin' me a liar?

Not yet, I ain't.

But it sounds peculiar, though, what sound peculiar?

Well first of, minnie never struck me as the sentimental type.

Secondly, I can't imagine sweet Dave liftin' his fat ass outta' his chair long enough to fetch well water, unless minnie was layin' a fryin' pan upside his head.

Along takin' trips to the north side.

That sounds a whole lot like you're calling me a liar, mi negro amigo.

Yeah it do sound a whole lot like, don't it?

But I still haven't done it yet.

Minnie still serve food?

Do you consider stew food? Yes. - Then we serve food.

She still stinkin' up the place with her "old quail" pipe tobacco?

Minnie dosen't smoke a pipe.

She rolls her own.

"Red apple tobacco" but mi negro amigo, I think you already know this.

Yeah I do, senor Bob.

Just seein' if you do.


Fill me up, o.B. Yeah.

Goddamn it!

Thank you.

Well cut my legs off and call me shorty...

Is that genaral sanford smithers I see?

You've got a good eye son.

Well, I'll be double dogged damned!

General Sandy "don't give a damn" smithers!

Captain Chris mannix, mannix marauders.

Erskine's boy? Yes sir.

May I sit down, sir?

According to the Yankees, it's a free country.

Genaral Sandy smithers...

Boy...

Oh boy.

Did my daddy talk about you.

I heard you gave those blue bellies sweet hell.

Me and my boys did our part.

Just like erskine and his boys did their part.

Hell yeah, we did.

Yankees sons of bitches? I never knew your father, son.

But, I always respected his resolve.

Thank you for saying that, general. Your respect woulda' meant the world to him.

Can I get ya' some coffy?

That would be nice. Well, how about a blanked?

That would be even nicer.

Hell, you know what, you can have mine.

Here we go general.

So what brings you out Wyoming way, sir? If ya' don't mind me askin'?

My boy.

You gotta' boy that lives in red rock?

My son, Chester Charles smithers, he died out here a few years back.

Forgive me sir.

No forgiveness needed, son.

Like I said, it was a few years back.

It was after he served his service.

He came out here to the hills of Wyoming, to make his fortune.

Never to be heard from again.

I bought him a symbolic plot in the red rock cemetery.

I'm here to advise the stone maker on his headstone.

Was he a goner fer' sure?

No chance he could be livin' "the cold life" out in the woods? It's a rough life, but folks can learn it.

If he had done what he came here to do, he'd a come home.

Close it, close it!

You have to hold it closed while I nail it shut!

Really? Who's the idiot who broke the damn door?

Fucking hold it low.

Okay.

Hold it, mi negro amigo.

We need two pieces of wood.

Ola mi cabron.

There you go, motherfucker!

That's a lotta' hats, senor Bob? Huh?

Considering minnie's no hats indoors policy? Which, if I remember it correctly, that was one of them bar of iron rules, kinda rule, she'd want kept up in her absence.

You seem to have a laissez faire attitude when it comes to the hats.

I'm guilty.

I have a laissez faire attitude about the hats.

How about we forget about the hats today, considering there's a blizzard going on and all, and make tomorrow "no hat day"?

A large black dog.

Labrador.

You know my daddy, I said that my daddy!

Always said that Davis was a courages man.

But he should have put capital in Montgomery and not Richmond.

Yes, sir. I agree with that the army in north Virginia would've been used in a...

I said the army of north Virginia would have been used in very different way.

Shut up!

O.B.?

Do you know that nigger, sir?

I don't know that nigger.

But I know he's a nigger.

And that's all I need to know.

Well that nigger just ain't any nigger.

That nigger is- general sanford smithers?

Battle of Baton Rouge?

Inform the nigger in the cavalry officers uniform that I had a division of confederates under my commend, in Baton Rouge.

Major nigger, general smithers wishes me to inform you... I heard 'em hillbilly.

Inform this old cracker that I was in Baton Rouge also.

On the other side.

Oh that's interesting.

General smithers, he said that he was also in Baton Rouge.

On the other- cap't mannix, tell the nigger, that I don't acknowledge niggers in northern uniforms.

You captured a whole colored command that day.

But not one colored trooper made it to a camp, did they?

We had neither the time or the food.

Nor the inclination to care for northern horses, and least of all northern niggers.

So we shot 'em where they stood. Gentlemen, gentlemen, I know Americans aren't apt to let a little thing like an unconditional surrender get in the way of a good war.

But I strongly suggest we don't restage the battle of Baton Rouge, during a blizzard in minnie's haberdashery.

Now, my nubian friend, while I realize passions are high, that was a while ago.

And if you shoot this un-armed old man I guarantee I will hang you by the neck until you are dead.

Once we arrive in red rock.

I damn will guarantee that too.

Yeah Warren, that's the problem with old men.

You can kick 'em down the stairs and say it's a accident, but ya' can't just shoot 'em.

Gentlemen, since we may be trapped here, close together like for a few days, may I suggest a possible solution?

We divide minnie's in half.

The northern side and the Southern side.

With the dinner table operating as a neutral territory.

We could say that the fireplace side of the room, acts as a symbolic representative of...

Georgia while the bar, represents...

Philadelphia!

As long aas the bar's Philadelphia I agree.

We still got that deal we talked about in the wagon?

I help you protect your eight thousand, you help me protect my ten?

One of them fella's is not what he says he is.

What is he?

He's in cahoots with this one that's what he is.

One of them, maybe even two of 'em, is here to see domergue goes free.

And to accomplish that goal, they'll kill everbody in here.

And they got 'em coupla' days. So all they gotta' do is sit tight and wait for a winda' of opportunity.

And that's when they strike, huh bitch?

If you say so, John.

Are you sure you're not just being paranoid?

Our best bet is this, duplicitous fella' ain't as cool a customer as Daisy here.

He won't have the leather patience it takes to just sit here and wait.

But waiting for an oportunity, and knowing it's the right one, isn't so easy.

If he can't handle it, he'll stop waiting.

He'll try and create his opportunity. And that's when mr. Jumpy reveals himself.

And what do you got to say about all this?

What do I got to say? About John Ruth's ravings?

He's absolutely right.

Me and one of them fella's is in cahoots. And we're just waitin' for everybody go to sleep.

That's when we gonna' kill y'all.

Okay everybody,

hear this.

This here is Daisy domergue.

She's wanted dead or alive for murder.

Ten thousand dollars.

That money's mine boys.

Don't wanna' share it.

I ain't gonna' lose it.

When the sun comes out, I'm taking this woman into red rock, to hang.

Now...

Is there anybody here...

Comitted to stopping me'...

From doing that?

Really?

Nobody gotta' problem with this?

Well, I guess that's very fortunate for me.

However, I hope you all understand, I can't just take your word.

Circumstances force me to, take...

Precautions.

When you say precautions...

Why do I feel you mean me?

Because I'm gonna' take your gun, son. You are? - Yes I am.

Nothing personal. Just mine?

The hangman got himself a gun too?

I'll be dealing with his gun after I deal with yours.

I feel kinda' naked without it.

Oh, I still got mine.

I'll protect you.

A bastards work is never done, huh, John Ruth?

That's right, Joe gage.

Now gimmie the gun. You want it?

You have to come and take- calm down.

Take your hand away from your gun.

Blink if you're calm.

Did he blink? He blinked.

Blink if your gonna' remain calm?

He blinked. Take his pistol.

I'm real sorry about this, son.

Like I said, nothing personal. Just a precaution.


Pretty sneaky.


I'm afraid the same applies to you too, Mr.

Mobray.

Precautions must be taken because life is too sweet to lose.

Hand me that little bucket.

O.B.?

Go to the outhouse.

Take this bucket and dump it down the shit hole.

Why do I gotta' go outside?

Your jacket's already on. And I sorta kinda trust you.


After you major.

Okay.

I'm gonna' cut you loose while we eat.

Don't get any ideas, I ain't goin' soft on ya'.

You lift your ass even one inch off this seat, I'll put a bullet right in your goddamn throat.


So domergue, I suppose this blizzard counts as a stroke of luck as far as you're concerned?

You don't hear me complaining do ya'? No I sure don't.

How 'bout you oswaldo?

How about me what?

Look, considerin' all the thing I done for money, I ain't one to judge.

But don't you feel just the least little bad 'bout hangin' a woman?

Till they invent a trigger a woman can't pull, if you're a hang man, you're going to hang woman.

Well hell ozzy, I guess I ain't never looked at it like that before.

When it comes to some of them mean bastards out therem it's the only thing does the job.

You really only need to hang mean bastards. But mean bastards, you need to hang.

You goddamn son of a bitch!

I almost died out there!

I ain't never going out in that shit ever, ever again!


You okay, o.B.?

I'm fine.

I'll be fine.

I just need to get warm.

You want some stew, o.B.?

Stew, later.

That's nice.


So...

How you doin', black major?

I ain't in the mood, Chris mannix. Leave me be from your horseshit.

John Ruth says you gotta' a Lincoln letter?

I tole' you jackass to hee-haw somewhere else.

That's right, John.

You did say, didn't ya'? Yeah I did.

So...

You got a letter from Abraham Lincoln? Yes.

Thee Abraham Lincoln?

Yes.

Abraham Lincoln the president of the United States...

Yes. Of America? - Yes.

Wrote you a letter, personally? Yes.

Personally? As in: "Dear maj. Warren"? No. Personally as in: "Dear marquis".

"Dear marquis" Abraham Lincoln the president of the United States of America?

Yes.

May I see it? No you may not.

But the way John tells it, you weren't just some random nigger soldier picked from a pile of letters.

Way John tells it, y'all hada' correspondence. Yes.

Way John tells it, y'all's practically pen pals?

Yes.

And a pen pal's...

Practically a friend.

John Ruth, you really think a nigger drummed outta' the calvary with a yellow stripe down his back, was practically friends with the president of the United States of America?

John Ruth, I hate to be the one to break it to ya' but nobody in minnie's haberdashery, had ever corresponded with Abraham Lincoln, least of all, that nigger there.

Was all that horseshit?

Course it was.


Well I guess it's true what they say about you people.

You can't trust a fuckin' word that comes outta' your mouth.

What's the matter, John Ruth?

I hurt your feelings?

As a matter of fact, you did.

I know, I'm the only black son of a bitch you ever met, so I'm gonna' cut you some slack.

But you got no idea, what it's like being a black man facin' down America.

The only time black folks are safe, is when white folks is disarmed. And this letter, had the desired effect of disarming white folks.

Call it what you want, I call it a dirty fuckin' trick.

You wanna' know why I'd lie about something like that, white man?

Got me on that stagecoach, didn't it.

Well I'll tell you like the lord tole' John, a letter from Abraham Lincoln wouldn't have that kinda' effect on me.

I might let a whore piss on it. I spit on it.

Good for you, sister.

Warren goddamit, you leave that old man alone!

Stand down you son of a bitch, I shared a battle field with this man.

Or would you deny me that too?

I suppose you were there.

May I join you?

Yes you may.


Damn it.

So, how's life since the war?

Got both my legs.

Got both my arms.

I can't complain. Got a woman?

Fever took her, started this last winter.

What was her name?

Betsy. Georgia girl?

Augusta.

Atlanta boy, and a Augusta girl.

I use to raise Kentucky horses.

Her paw' was the owner of the breedershit where I brought of my ponies.

God damnit.

I made good deal on her.

Took the stake he gave and bought a bunch peach ochards.

Set myself up pretty well.

Did a hellva' lot better than my no good brothers, that's for damn sure.

Yeah, your son came up here a few years back.

He spoke highly of his mama too.

You knew my boy?

Yeah...

Yeah I knew 'em.

You did not know my boy.

Suit yourself.

Didja' know my son?

I know the day he died, - do you? No.

You wanna know what day that was?

The day he met me.

He came up here to do a little nigger head huntin'.

By then the reward was so, five thousand and bragging rights.

But back then to battle hard rebs, five thousand just to cut off a niggers head, now that's good money.

So the Johnny's climbed this mountain, lookin' for fortune.

But there was no fortune to be found.

All they found was me.

All them fella's came up here sang a different tune, when they found themselves at the mercy of a nigger's gun,

"let's just forget it. I go my way, you go yours" that's your boy Chester talkin' you a goddamn lie.

"If you just let me home to my family, I'll swear, I'll never set foot in Wyoming again."

That's what they all said.

Beggin' for his life.

Your boy told me his whole life story.

And you was in that story, general.

And when I knew me I had the son.

Of the bloody nigger killer of Baton Rouge...

I knew me I was gonna' have some fun. You shut your lyin' nigger lips up!

General smithers, don't you listen to him, he didn't know your boy!

He just heard, tell why you here is all!

It was cold the day I killed your boy.

And I don't mean snwoy mountain in Wyoming cold. It was colder than that.

And on that cold day, with your boy at the business end of my gun barrel...

I made him strip.

Right down to his bare ass.

Then I told him to start walkin'.


I walked his naked ass for two hours, 'fore his cold collapsed him.

You never even knew my boy? No he didn't!

He's just a sneaky nigger tryin' to getcha to go for that gun!

Then he commits to begging again.

But this time he wasn't begging to go home.

He knew he'd never see his home again. And he wasn't beggin' for his life neither.

'Cos he knew that was long gone.

All he wanted... was a blanket.

Now don't judge your boy too harshly, general. You ain't never been cold as your boy was that day.

You'd be surprised what a man that cold, would do for a blanket.

Wanna know what your boy did?

I took my big, black, pecker outta' my pants.

And I made him crawl through the snow on all fours over to it.

Then I grabbed a hand full of that black hair on the back his head...

Then I stuck my big, black Johnson right down his goddamn throat.

And it was fulla' blood, so it was warm.

You bet your sweet ass it was warm.

And Chester Charles smithers, sucked on that warm black dingus for long as he could.

Starting to see pictures, ain't ya'?

Your boy...

Black dudes dingus in his mouth.

Him shakin', him cryin' me laughin' and him not understandin'

but you understand, doncha' Sandy?

I never did give your boy that blanket.

Even after all he did, and he did everything I asked.

No blanket.

That blanket was just a heart breakin' liar's promise.

Kinda' like those uniforms the union issued those colored troopers, that you chose not to acknowledge.

So what you gonna' do old man?

You gonna' spend the next two or three days, ignore the nigger that killed your boy, ignoring how I made him suffer?

Ignoring how I made him...

Lick, all over my Johnson?

The dumbest thing your boy ever did...

Was to let me know... He was your boy.


Chapter four domergue's got a secret

about fifteen minutes has passed, since we last left our characters.

Joe gag volunteered to take smithers dead body outside.

Straws we drawn to see who would help him...

O.B. Lost.

Chris, John Ruth and oswaldo, had vigorous debate about the legality of self-defense murder they just transpired.

Marquis Warren who is supremely confident about the legality of what just transpired, ignored them sat at a table by himself and drank Brandy.

Captain Chris mannix dawn the dead generals coat and joined oswaldo in lighting the candles and lanterns.

Hey ozzy, hey you got the right idea.

Let's light this place up.

John Ruth held the door close, waiting for Joe gage and o.B. To return.

Bob enjoyed an manzana roja.

Domergue, however, hasn't moved from her spot at the community dinner table since John Ruth uncuffed her.

John Ruth...

Yeah?

Can I play that guitar over there?

Let's go back a bit.

Your boy, black dudes dingus in his mouth.

Fifteen minutes ago major Warren shot general smithers in front of everybody.

But fourty seconds before that, something equally as important happened, but not everybody saw it.

While major Warren was captivating the crowd with tales of black dicks and white mouths...

Somebody... poisoned the coffy.

He did everything I asked, no blanket.

And the only one to see 'em do it...

Was domergue.

That's why this chapter is called...

Domergue's got a secret.

John Ruth.

Yeah.

Can I play that guitar over there?

Yeah.

You come back with anything else but a guitar.

My pistol plays a tune.

Domergues death march, you got it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.


That's the one you like to sing in the stagecoach, huh?

Yeah.

It's kinda' pretty.

Got another verse to it? Yeah I got.

Go ahead, sing it.


Gimme that guitar!

Music time's over!

Turn around.

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up!


When you get to hell, John.

Tell 'em Daisy sent ya'.

Mannix the coffy!


Oh my god!

Gimme that fucking gun!

Don't test me, bitch.

Everybody get your back sides up against that back wall over yonder.

Goddammit- get or don't get, Joe gage. It's up to you.

I'll get. Then get.

You too, senor Bob.

Everybody turn around and put your hands on that wall.

Move 'em down snowshoes.


Everybody keep your mouth shut and do like I say.

You open your mouth; You gonna' get a bullet.

You move a little sudden, a little strange; You gonna' get a bullet.

Not a warning, not a question; A bullet.

You got that?

Let me hear you say, "I got it". "I got it".

"I got it" - "I got it". We have it.

Chris mannix, come over here on this side.

Come on.

Take this gun out of my holster.

Point it at them.

Like I said, anybody does anything. And I mean, anything.

Kill 'em.

So...

You finally decided I'm tellin' the truth 'bout bein' the sheriff of red rock, huh?

I don't know 'bout all that.

But you ain't the killer who poisoned that coffy.

'Cos you almost drunk it your own damn self.

But one of 'em is.

Gimme the key.

Gimme the key!

You motherfucking black bastard!

You're gonna' die on this mountain and I'm gonna' fucking laugh when you do!

What I say 'bout talkin?

'Meant it, didn't I?

And you need to understand, you just killed the only man here, comitted to gettin' you to red rock alive.

Now, one of y'all... Is workin' with her.

Or two of y'all is workin' with her.

Or all y'all is...

But only one of you poisoned the coffy.

So what charms this bitch got, take a man brave a blizzard, kill in cold blood, I'm sure I don't know.

But John Ruth's trying to hang your woman, so you kill him... okay-maybe.

But o.B. Wasn't hangin' nobody.

He damn sure would.

But he sure enough led over there dead now, though, ain't he?

He damn sure is you sons of bitches.

Just like any one of us who'd drank that coffy.

Like me god damnit.

Now those of y'all with your hands on the wall don't practice in poison need to think about that.

Think about how that coulda' you been you rollin' around on this floor.

And about the men standin' next ta' ya' would be responsible.

And I know who I got my money on. Yeah that's right Joe gage I'm lookin' at you.

Not so fast Chris. We'll get there.

Let's slow it down.

Let's slow it way down.

Who made the coffy?

He did.

Yeah, he did, didn't he? Yeah, he did, didn't he?

But it's the stew that's got me thinking.

How long you say minnie been gone?

A week?

Si.

See, my mama used to make stew.

And it always tasted the same, no matter the meat.

And there was another fellow on the plantation, uncle charly.

He made stew too and like my mama's.

I ate his stew from the time I was a whipper, to I was a full grown man.

And no matter the meat, it always tasted like uncle charly's stew.

Now I ain't had minnie's stew in six months, so I ain't no expert, but that, damn sure is minnie's stew.

So if minnie's on the north side visiting her mama for a week, how'd she make the stew this morning?

And this?

This... is sweet Dave's chair.

When I sat in it earlier, I couldn't belive it.

Nobody sits in sweet Dave's chaire.

This may be minnie's place, but this is damn sure, sweet Dave's chair.

And if... he went to the north side...

I'm pretty goddamn sure that chair's be going with him.

What's in the chair?

Just what I thought.

Sweet Dave's goddamn blood.

So...

Are you actually accusing me of murder?

The way I see it, senior Bob, whoever's workin' with her, ain't who they say they is. And if it's you, that means minnie and her man ain't at her mama's.

They're lyin' out back there dead somewhere.

Or if it's you britisch man, the real oswaldo mobray is lyin' in a ditch somewhere. And you're just an English fella' passin' off his papers.

Or we go by my theory, which is the ugliest guy did it.

Which makes it you, Joe gage.

So I take it you've deduced the coffy was poisoned while you were murdering the old man?

Yes.

Well, mi negro amigo, during that whole incident...

I was sitting on that side of the room. Playing silent night on the piano.

I didn't say you poisoned the coffy. I said you didn't make the stew.

My theory is...

You're working with man who poisoned the coffy.

And both of y'all murdered minnie, and sweet Dave and whoever else picked this bad luck day to visit minnie's haberdashery this morning.

And at some point, y'all intented to bushwhack John Ruth and free Daisy.

But you didn't count on the blizzard and you didn't count on the two of us.

That's as far as I got. How am I doin'?

Your a real imaginative nigger, ain't you?

So, do you intend to murder me based on a far fetched nigger theory?

Or can you prove it, cabrone?

It ain't so far fetched, senior Bob.

And it's a little bit more then my theory.

How long you say you been working for minnie's?

Four months.

If you would have been here two and half years ago you'd know about the sign usta' hang above the bar.

Minnie mentioned that to you? No.

You know what that sign said, senior Bob?

"No dogs or Mexicans allowed"

minnie hung that sign up the day she opened this habadashery.

And it hung over that bar every day till she took down, a little over two years ago.

You know why she took it down?

She started lettin' in dogs.

Now minnie likes just about everybody, but she sure don't like Mexicans.

So when you tell me, minnie went to north side to visit her mama?

Well I find that highly unlikely... but okay - maybe.

But when you tell me minnie mink took the habadashery, the most precious thing to her in the whole world,

and left it in hands of a goddamn Mexican?

Well that's what I meant in the barn when I said: "That sure don't sound like minnie".

Now I am calling you a liar, senior Bob.

And if you lyin, which you are, then you killed minnie - and sweet Dave.

Four measly bulltes and there goes senior, Bob.

That still don't get us no closer...

To which one of y'all poisoned the coffy, though.

Does it Chris? No it sure don't.

Now one of y'all poisoned this coffy, to free Daisy.

If I don't hear a confession from one of you motherfuckers quick, fast and in a hurry, I'm gonna' pull this whole pot of coffy, down that bitches goddamn throat.

Okay, time's up.

Stop! Alright I did it, it was me I poisoned the coffy.

I fuckin' knew it!

You gonna' die now you murderin' bastard.

Major Warren please let me sent this ugly son of a bitch to hell.

You killed o.B. He's worth ten of you! Warren can I kill him?

Say adios to your huevos.

Major Warren?

I ain't got no gun, sheriff.


Chapter five the four passengers

earlier that morning.


Hey charly my, how the hell are you? Hi ya' Ed, hi ya' Judy-

how many ya' got? Full house today, friend.

We got on in there waiting.

Well he's gonna' hafta keep on waitin' cause we ain't got no room.

Well you need to tell minnie. Cause he's been here two days and minnie wants him outta here.

Well I can't give him a seat I don't have - listen why don't you take the passengers inside, introduce them to minnie.

Warm youself up and drink some coffy. Okay.

Here we are everybody, minnie's haberdashery.

Step outside you and your friends can stretch your legs. When you're reday, stop on inside, get warm by the fire, get some coffy in you. I'll introduve you to minnie.

Hi minnie!

I'm not trying to tell you how to run your business.

But I would think coffy would be the first thing you'd make.

Come on in everybody, don't be shy. Hats!

Everybody, this is minnie, and this is her place.

Behind me pluckin' that chicken is Gemma.

Lovley smile, that Gemma.

Now the fella' in the uniform I don't know but the one he's playing chess with is sweet Dave.

Hi ya' Dave. Hey Judy.

And minnie, these are the passengers.

Well that's not good enough.

Go take away them rags, let's see some faces let's hear some names.

Oswaldo mobray, madame.

Joe gage.

Bob.

And I'm Jody.

It's a pleasant surprise to find such a warm sanctuary in the middle of such a cold hell.

Well make yourself comfortable. Get warm by the fire.

We're just gonna' go warm ourself's by the stove, if that's all right?

Stove, fireplace, whatever. Just get warm.

Oh, and Judy said something about the best coffy in the world?

Yes I do belive Judy did say something about the best coffy in the world.

Well I don't know 'bout all that. But I'll tell ya what it is.

It's hot and it's strong and it's good. And in this snow it sure 'nuff warms your ass up.

You don't need to sell it, minnie, you need make it.

And you need to get your ass out there and help charly with them bags and get Ed in here.

Yes, ma'am, but fix the coffy. I'll fix you!

I don't know some old man.

Well I don't know what I'm suppose to do about it.

I'm just tellin' you what she said.

Anyway she sent me out here to help charly, she wants to talk to you.

Got 'em, Ed.

Miss minnie? Would you roll me a cigarette?

Sure honey, I smoke red apple tobacco, that all right?

It's my favorite.

Don't mind me gentlemen, I'm just watching.

You play?

You know, I must of had at least twelve people, teach me that goddamn game. Just never could keep the moves in my head.

But if I'm not disturbing, I like to watch?

Hell no. I like whippin' this old man's ass in front of a audience, you ain't whippin' shit.

Merci beaucoup mademoiselle, minnie.

Oh that's real nice, what is that? It's French.

You speak French? Oui- oui - what is that mean? It means yes.

Oui - yes.

Hey Dave, ask me if my ass is fat. What?

Ask me if my ass is fat? It is.

I said ask me! Why?

Just do it! Is your ass fat?

Oui, look at that y'all I can speak French.


Are you the jelly bean salesman around here?

How many peppermint sticks I get for a nickel?

Five.

All right.

Here. Thank you sugar.

Okay.

Allow me to assist you, madame.


I brought in your bags in case anybody wants to change your clothes before red rock.

Peppermint stick?

Thanks.

So why do they call you six horse Judy anyway?

Cause I'm the only Judy you've ever seen that could drive a six horse team?

Hell yeah, kinda of a stupid question.

Could you holding this for me? Rock steady, madame. Rock steady.

You gotta' very sweet accent, where that from, England?

I take exception to that! New zeeland.

Carefull, madame. Is it anywhere near old Zealand?


Auckland, what the fuck is an Auckland?

It's where I'm from, it's our biggest city.

Coffy's ready! It's about damn time.

Best coffy on the mountain. I'll don't know 'bout all that.

Stagecoach drivers like it. Passengers, not so much.

Most find it a mite too strong.

Can't be too strong on this mountain, thank you.

Well, what'd ya' think?


Shit!


He adds something, not much, but something.

What do you think, Pete?

Well I must admit, he does make the set up more convincing.

Do we collect the bodies and Chuck 'em in the well out there?

And then start unhitching the horses and get 'em in the barn and get 'em fed.

Well hang on, by puttin the horses away that's easy enough.

To drag these fat bastards up and down the mountain that's fucking impossible, mate.


Look I just started working here.

Whatever minnie to make y'all mad.

I had nothing to do with it.

Well old man, if you was a cat what just happened here would count as one of your nine lives.

You realize how close you came to being tossed on a pile of niggers?

Yes. And when it comes to that pile of niggers we building out back, won't take nothin' to make you general of it. You believe that?

I expect no less. Not so fast old man.

You might have a way out of this yet.

Later today, dirty son of a gun's gonna come in here.

And he's gonna have my sister with him, and he's gonna have her in chains.

He's taking her into red rock to be hung.

You know why? No.

Ten thousand dollars.

That's why.

And when he get's here.

I'm gonna' kill that fella' and turn my sister lose.

Now do you have any reason why you'd want to interfere with me saving my sister from a hangman's rope?

No. You don't.

No I don't. You sure you don't.

I mean we did just kill minnie and sweet Dave.

You and sweet Dave seemed pretty chummy over here.

I just met these people. I don't give a damn about them, or you, or your sister, or any other son of a bitch in Wyoming for that matter.

That is a good answer, old man.

So when they get here, you just sit your ass in this chair. And you don't do nothin'.

You don't say nothin'. Hello, thank you, good night, that's about it.

Maybe your name, but that's it.

Hello, thank you, good night and...

Maybe your name. Maybe my name.

Be an old man, be dotty. Go to sleep.

And don't you say nothin' and I mean nothin' to that bounty hunter that's got my sister.

Do you understand? Yes.

When it's safe I kill him, free my sister and leave you be.

Deal?

Deal, thank you.

During the next four hours, Jody and the boys Chuck the bodies down the well.

Put away the horses.

Tidied around minnie's.

Stash weapons for further use.

And waited for John Ruth and Daisy's stage to arrive.

Here they come.

Okay boys, this is it, get ready!

Let's get ready.

Now remember, it dosen't matter if we have four men or fory, we're still gonna' be facing John Ruth chained to my sister with a pistol pointed at her belly.

Now killin' that fella' 'fore he kills my sister, ain't gonna' be easy.

But you believe that's exactly what we're gonna do.

So the name of the game here is patience.

Trapped here for two or three days, at some point, he will close his eyes and that's when you blow the top of his head off.

Remember old man, my sister don't make it off this mountain alive, neither do you.

I'll do my best.

Good luck, mate.

What the hell's going on, we weren't expecting another stage tonight?

I can see you already got another one up in here.

I just got through putting the horses away.

This ain't the normal line. But we are stuck on the wrong side of a blizzard, so it looks like you're stuck with us.

I can do another one.

And sweet Dave inside?

They ain't here. I'm running the place while they're gone.

Where's minnie and sweet Dave?

He says they ain't here. He's lookin' after the place while they gone.

Who are you? I'm Bob.

Well whoever you are, help o.B. With the horses.

Get 'em outta this cold, before that blizzard hit's 'em.

I just put those other horses away. You need it done fast, you need to help.

I got two of my best men on it.

You heard him freeloaders, get to work.

Come on let's go!

Open up! You have to kick it open! - What?

Kick it open!

Last chapter black man, white hell

how you doin' old boy?

They shot my nuts off they're freezin' burining up the same time, bleedin like a stuck pig.

I think I'm gonna die.

And these motherfuckers did it.

That's how I'm doin'. How you doin'?

Well my leg hurts really bad.

But I think if I'm put all my weight on my right foot-

I'm just bein' sarcastic I don't give a fuck about your leg.

Just make yourself comfortable.

Don't worry about my comfort. Shit! I can't feel my ass no more.

Worry about these owl hoots and that bushwhacker nuts shooter in the basement.

All right!

You!

Fella' in the basement!

You either give up by the time I count to three, or I shoot domergue in the head.

One!... two!...

No, no, no, no! Don't shoot her! I'm comin' up!

Hold on there you bushwhacker sack shooter, you just open the door we tell you to come up!

Now throw out your pistol!

Throw it to the bed.

Well he got another.

Now throw out your other pistol.

I ain't got another pistol!

Well you better shit another pistol out your ass!

Cause if you don't throw one up here in the next two seconds we gonna' kill this bitch!

See? Told ya'.

Now...

With your hands where we can see 'em...

Slowly come on up!


How ya' doin' dummy?

Better now I see your ugly face.

How you like you that? You bushwhacker castrator!

What are you doin' he was giving up?

It took him too long so I done for him.

Joe gage get your ass over and shut this trap door.


I'm sorry, honey.

May I sit in the chair?

Yes you may.

Keep your hands flat on that table.

And don't move 'em.

Mannix!

You sure picked the wrong time to turn into a nigger lover.

Don't you see that nigger and John Ruth put you smack dab in the middle of danger?

You're about to be murdered in some nigger named minnie's house and you don't even know why!

Okay, bitch...

I'll bite... why?

I am workin with all three of them fella's...

But not cause they got butterflies in their belly 'bout me.

But because we're all gang members, the Jody domergue gang!

That fella' y'all just killed in the basement, was Jody domergue, my brother!

Well who the hell, is Jody domergue?

You wanna tell 'em bounty man?

He's a big bad cat. He's worth fifty thousand dollars.

And every member of his gang is wort at least ten.

Wich finally explains why you're worth ten.

And what's gonna' happen when that sun comes out nigger, so is my brother's fifteen men comin' straight here for us! Tell 'em grouch!

Jody's got fifteen men waitin' in red rock.

If we couldn't kill John Ruth and free Daisy here.

Their job was to sack the town, kill John Ruth and free Daisy there.

Now with brohter deadd, I'm in charge of this gang, right boys?

Oh yeah.

And Chris I'm tellin' you, you ain't done anything yet, we can't forgive.

So...

Let's make a deal? No deals, bitch!

You gonna' let that nigger speak for you, Chris?

Hold it Warren.

Seein' as she ain't got nothin' to sell, I'm kinda curious about her sales pitch, humor me.

All right, bitch.

What's... your... deal?

Easy.

Take your gun, shoot that nigger dead.

Then we sit here all nice like for the next two days.

When the snow melts...

We go back to Mexico and you go on to red rock to get that star pinned on your chest.

Well... we can give 'em Marco.

Bob's real name is "Marco the Mexican".

He's worth twelve thousand dollars.

That's "Marco the Mexican"? Precisely, yeah.

Sheeit, after I blew his face off, Marco ain't worth a peso.

If I die in the next two days, which is more than likely, you can have me.

Under the name "English Pete hicox" I've gotta' federal bounty of fifteen thousand dollars on my head.

And it's all your Chris. You keep talkin', Pete.

You gonna talk yourself to death.

Joe gage, who you be?

Grouch douglass. You heard of him?

Yeah, I heard of grouch douglass. He's worth ten, just like Daisy.

Remind me, why we wouldn't just kill all y'all and cash in?

Oh, you can kill us all. But you'll never spend a cent of that bounty money and you'll never leave this mountain alive.

Because when that snow melts, the rest of Jody's gang - all fifteen of 'em that were waiting, in red rock are comin' here.

Now let, let's say you shoot us all...

If you really want all that domergue gang bounty money, you still got to get all our corpses into red rock.

And that ain't gonna' be so easy. Cause I doubt you can drive a four horse team.

And that wagon out there is too heavy for a two horse team.

So that means you're gonna' hafta' lead a string of horses into red rock and with that deep snow after a blizzard, you ain't gonna' be able to get away with any more then let's say one body per horse.

So that's you, leading a string of four horses into red rock, and with all them horses, in that snow, and you all by your lonesome, you're gonna be a mite poky.

And you gonna' run smack dab into the domergue gang and agin grouch, how many is that?

Fifteen killer strong. And when those fifteen killers, come across you, in possession of all of our dead bodies, they ain't just gonna' kill you and that nigger.

There gonna go back to red rock and kill every son of a bitch in that town.

You really the sheriff of red rock? You wanna save the town?

Then shoot that nigger dead!

You belive in Jesus now, huh, bitch? Well good 'cos 'bout meet him!

Anybody else wanna' make a deal, huh?

The deal still stands, Chris.

You ain't done we can't forgive.

It's still all on that nigger.

Shoot 'em dead, take my body and sit out the snow with Daisy and grou-


mannix!

Give me my pistol!

Catch 'em here.

Catch 'em here.

So...

You were sayin'... We sit here...

All nice and friendly like...

For the next two days...

Then the snow melts, you leave here, meet up with your gang and high tail it to Mexico?

Yeah.

And I get oswaldo and Joe gage?

Yeah.

But Jody's worth fifty thousand, what 'bout his body?

You gonna make a deal with this diabolical bitch?

I'm not sayin' I'm gonna' make a deal with her, we're just talkin'. Calm down.

So what about Jody's body and the fifty thousand?

You've gotten greedy, reb, no deal.

We take Jody's body back with us he got children.

So I kill, Warren... And we're all friends?

Yeah.

No deal, tramp.

Chris you're makin' the biggest mistake of your life!

When our boys get here in a coupla' days, their gonna cut your nuts off!

And there won't be a stick left in that town unburnt.

Well I guess I should be plum scared right now, huh?

If you had any brains, you would be.

You see...

Here's the problem Daisy.

In order for me to be scared of your threats, I got to believe in those fifteen extra gang members waitin' it out in red rock.

And boy, oh boy... I sure don't.

What I belive is...

Joe gage or grouch douglass whatever the fuck his name was...

Poisoned the coffy...

And you watched him do it.

And you watched me pork up and didn't say shit...

And I believe...

You all what you've always been...

A lyin' bitch, who will do anything...

To cheat that rope waitin' for her in red rock.

Including shittin' out fifteen extra gang members, whenever you needs be.

And...

I believe when it comes to what's left of the Jody Doe-ming-grey gang...

I'm lookin' at 'em, right here right, right now. Dead on this on this motherfuckin' floor.

Goddamn right.

You're gonna' die on this mountain, Chris.

My brother leds an army of men- horse shit!

My daddy led an army, he led a renegade amry, fightin' a lost cause!

My daddy held up to four hundred men together after the war with nothing but their respect in his command.

Your brother's just a owl hoot who led a gang of killers.

I don't feel so good.

Oh, shit.

You still alive, white boy?

Mannix?

Fuck!

Hey, boy!

Get up!

Chris mannix! Your ass ain't nailed to the floor!

Wake the fuck up!

Wake up, white boy!


I ain't dead yet, you black bastard.

Chris mannix, I may have misjudged you.

Now we've come to the part of the story...

Where I blow your goddamn head off! No, no, no don't shoot her!

Why the hell not?

John Ruth.

John Ruth was one mighty, mighty bastard.

What's the Las thing...

That bastard did, 'fore he died?

Was save your life.

We gonna' die, white boy.

We ain't got no say in that.

But there's one thing left we do have a say in.

And that how we kill this bitich.

And I say, shootin's to good for her...

John Ruth coulda shot her anywhere, anytime along the way, but John Ruth was the hangman...

And when the hangman catches ya', you don't die by no bullet.

When the the hangman catches ya'...

You hang.

"You only need to hang mean bastards."

"But mean bastards, you need to hang".


As my first and final act as the sheriff of red rock, I sentence you, domergue, to hang by the neck until dead.

Hang on, Daisy. I wanna watch.


Now that, was a nice dance.

That sure was pretty.


Hey...

Can I see that Lincoln letter?


Dear marquis...

I hope this letter finds you...

In good health and stat...

I'm doing fine...

Altough I whish there were more hours in the day...

Is just so much to do...

Time's changing slowly... But surely...

And it's men like you that will make a difference...

Your military success was a credit...

Not only to you... but your race aswell...

I'm very proud everytime I hear new of you...

We still have a long way to go, but hand in hand...

I know we'll get there...

I just want to let you know, you're in my thoughts...

Hopefully our paths will cross in the future...

Until then... i remain your friend...

Ole' Mary Todd's calling...

So I guess it must be time for bed...

Respectfully... Abraham Lincoln.

Ole' Mary Todd... That's a nice touch.

Yeah... thanks.

Creator: Deluce happy x-mas, y'all.