The Jesus Rolls (2019) Script

Let's go.

Where you going, bitch?

Don't leave me!

Don't leave me!


One more strike, Quintana, we lock your ass up for good.

You got yourself a record, boy.

Most recent... breaking and entering, stealing a car, disturbing the peace, indecent exposure.

Wow, that's big.

I have to have special underwear, man.

Really?

Yeah.

But size ain't everything.

Don't make you a man.

For that you need balls.

Bullshit.

Six months at Chino for taking a piss.

Sometimes folks overreact.

In any event, you didn't do it again.

Hell no.

I ain't no sex offender.

Served your time, boy.

And we don't forget what you did, Quintana, helping the Black Sheep win a correctional state bowling championship.

We don't forget.

That last strike of yours was for the ages.

I chopped his ass up.

I've never seen any one lick a ball before you throw a strike.

That's my style.

Keep on bowling, boy.


I'll see you, Castro.

We're gonna miss you, Quintana.

You look good.

I look like a million bucks, man.

Woo!

Whoa, man!

Let's roll.

Where we going?

I'm not into dating.

You like me?

We get it on.

But don't let me have to feed you first.

Put your fingers through it, just like that.

Yes. Mm.

I just think it gives it so much more movement here.

Yeah, I love it.

There's a lot of play at the bottom, right?

Yeah.

How we doing over here? Good?

Grateful.

I used to have blond hair.

Really?

Bullshit, man! can say that shit.

I used to have blond hair, like they got over.

Huh?

Oh, shit.

Hey, man.

Going over there?

What a honey, huh?

Orange and shit, huh?

Still warm.

It's been a long time since I took the wheel, man.

Huh?

Woo.

We're on parole.

I know you got a screwdriver.

Your own muscle car, man.

How's that for a smooth ride, huh?

Feel that torque, man!

Fucking poetry, man!

Ah!

Hey... where we going, anyway?

I should drop in on the old lady.

Your... your mom?

Now?

I mean, one of these days.

You know.

What is she like?

Mommy?

Yeah.


Sh! Sh! Sh!

What is it?

It's me, Mommy.

Jesus.

I'd like you to meet my moms.

Evening, ma'am.

Is he your friend?

Yeah, Petey.

OK, Mom.

Let's go.

On your feet, Pops.

On your feet, man.

Still on the game, huh?

At your age, huh?

Uh-huh.

, Mommy.

You ought to be ashamed.

On your feet, I said, man.

Let's go.

Chop, chop.

I'm coming.

Let's move it.

Give him back his bread.

What's your name, man?

Frank.

You from around here, Frank?

He's from up north.

Mhm.

It doesn't bother you, Frank, to do the horizontal with my mother?

Excuse me.

I didn't know.

You didn't know?

You... you have sex with the man's mother in the family bed?

Hey,.

Hey, man, that kind of makes you like my old man, huh?

Oh.

You know... you know shit about jail, Frank?

No, not... not personally.

You know what you got at night to help you sleep?

No.

Tell him, Petey.

Your hand.

Oh.

You can get your rocks off with somebody's mama in the slammer, man.

My glasses!

I'm sorry.

I didn't know you had a son.

You didn't know, man.

But now you know.

She's got a son, man.

Make some coffee, Mommy.

And put something on decent.

If there's one thing my buddy's nuts about, it's modesty.

Yeah, well, it's better than no mother at all.

That's low, man.

Be polite.

She's a lady.

She doesn't look much older than you.

Yeah?

Well, she isn't, man.

Hey, wash your face while you're in there, and take the war paint off, huh?

I want to see your real eyes, your real skin.

I mean, who knows... maybe it's the last time I'll ever see you.

And here's a little something extra to tide your ass over.

Thank you.

So you got out.

Right.

How do I look?

Different?

No.

I don't know.

You look like a kid, my kid.

He always drank like this, pinky up.

Distinguished.

You ever see him bowl?

Couple times.

This man can roll.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

She smiles like ravioli, man.

Wow, you guys are a couple of real fuckheads.

Aren't you a little old to be stealing cars?

Yeah, I know.

Pretty nice, right?

Too bad you can't afford it.

See the name on the building?

That's me, baby.

Now put your hands up.

You picked the wrong guy, fellas.

That's the third vintage car I've had stolen in under a year.

We didn't steal it.

We just... we just took it out, man.

We borrowed it.

We brought it back.

Why don't you tell your story to the man, OK?

You never fuck with another man's car, or his hair.

Marie, you call the cops.

You call them.

It's your car.

How about I fire your skinny French ass, huh?

Marie!

Jesus!

Woo!

You looking good, girl.

What's up with Leon?

Oh, it's over.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Is this some sort of fucked up family reunion that we're having right now?

Do you actually know this clown?

Who you calling a clown,??

I thought you were in the slammer?

I just got out.

So you celebrated by stealing my car?

That was the first thing you did, fuckhead?

Well...

I'll make it up to you, baby, OK?

We're on prob, man!

Frenchie, shut the fuck up.

Hey!

Watch how you talk to a lady!

Asshole.

Shut the fuck up.

Fucking asshole!

I'm sorry!

Who is the hairdresser here?

Who's Paul Dominic?

That gun don't scare me.

Jesus Cartoon gangster.

You got the balls to pull a trigger on the Jesus?

I can't hack it in the hole, man.

Fuck this shit!

Should have thought of that first.

Fuck!

Ah! Ah!

Oh! in the ass.

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

That really hurts.

That really... ooh!

Fuck you in the ass, man!

Two times, papi chulo!

Whoa, man!

Oh!

Ow!

Dude, I'm a hairdresser.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus, man!

Nobody.

Woo!

Fine.

Fucking Boricuas!

Ugh, thank you, baby.

Asshole.

Hey, what the?

Get in, Petey!

Get your ass in!

Oh, shit.

Oh, there's blood all over me!

We have to find a doctor!

Where you hit?

Ugh! enough to shoot him. What an asshole!

Jesus.

Jesus.

There's blood all over my balls!

Hold tight, Petey.

Hold tight.

He's dead!

Huh?

Petey!

Yeah, I'm OK.

You scared the shit out of me, Petey.

, I'm bleeding.

I got so much blood on my balls.

Hang in there, man.

That's not good.

Oh, that's not good!

We got to dumb this car, change colors.

Keep down.

He can't hack the sight of blood.

Quintana!

What's up, man?

Yeah!

What the fuck is going on?

I thought you was in the slam?

Man, I was... good behavior.

Woo!

They reformed your shit.

A new man... that's right, man.

I need a new whip, man.

Got some dough?

I got something better.

Marie, come over here, man.

You got some scissors?

Fuck yeah, I got a pair of scissors.

Yeah?

Well, my lady friend here is going to lay a cut on you that will blow your mind, man, make you totally sexy, man.

I'm already a sexy motherfucker.

Yeah.

I'll make you more sexy, man.

No, man.

Chop his head up good.

Yeah, I got it.

I'll be right back.

Aw, shit.

Endo... endo-chronologist, what the fuck's that mean?

How am I supposed to know?

What am I, a fucking dictionary?

Oh, what I need is a man who takes care of balls!

Jesus Christ!

Oh, my balls!

Easy.

My buddy got shot by a hairdresser.

Fix him up, or I'll stick my piece up your ass and pull the trigger.

Pick.

I fuck on the outside.

Paul Dominic doesn't get through the door.

No hairdressers... not at my place.

I won't have it.

In the bushes, in the bedroom, on his wife's sheets, when she's skiing, no problem.

I just spread out on her bed.

Easy, easy.

Easy.

Oh god.

He's going to need a transfusion.

I got to get some blood. Your wife can go.

Wake her up.

Ha, his apartment's fucking choice.

The bathroom... they've got one of those douches.

It's like a couch.

His wife's pussy must shine.

There's no reason why she should have a stink.

And the one towel... holy shit.

Wiping your ass is an experience.

Thank you very much.

How's his ball?

The bullet pierced the fleshy part of the thigh.

A little to the left, he would have burst a testicle.

We get all the breaks, man.

Hey, man, what you got in the way of cash around here, bro?

Hm?

Sorry, you're out of luck.

Really, huh?

Howard, give him the money.

That's a dumb play, Howie.

What you take me for, some You got a find lady there, man.

You should treat her right.

You'll need some antibiotics.

Here, for your friend.

I could have been a doctor.

This frog lady won't stop yapping.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I feel like the underside of a turnip green.

You see? See?

Look at my hair, motherfucking hair.

Huh?

What are you squawking about?

Now I got to buy a hat to cover my bald-ass head.

There's a art to this shit!

You look good.

Yeah?

Shit, I'm a sexy motherfucker.

Shit, I'd fuck me too.

Yeah.

Guess what we're going to lay on this hair curler.

You got me.

He's all hung up on this car, right?

Yeah.

So we leave it on the side of the road.

You with me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sure.

OK.

The cops, they find it.

And lover boy gets it back completely intact.

And he doesn't know, that fuck, is that we have completely fucked his fucking car.

I saw in through one of the front axles, almost.

One wheel is hanging by a hair waiting to fly off on a curve, doing 90 on the highway, just radio blasting, the hair's flying.

He's just having a good time, man, when all of a sudden, oops!

Wheel flies off, man!

Isn't that beautiful?

Yeah, I guess.


Can you get me some gum, and some pants, and some shorts, and smokes, and some chocolate?

And gauze... get me a lot of gauze.

Anything else, sweety?

Are you sure this is where you want to be?

Why not?

People buy things here.

You need money.

Oh.

You probably just got out of jail.

Whoa, mind reader, huh?

Your first paycheck.

No.

No, I got a...

I got a rich lady, man.

Oh yeah, man.

She can't get enough of me.

Congratulations.

Yeah.

You don't need that badge.

Your cologne gives you away.

You're lucky.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm in a good mood today.

You got a nice trim there... kind of brings out the ears.

You like it?

Yeah.

You got the bottles every Saturday?

No, no, I work on Saturdays...

Uh-huh.

...the big shoplifting day.

Yeah?

I catch dozens of bums like you.

Good for you, man.

If everybody was that dedicated, shit.

How'd you know?

I know you. inside and out.

You looking for trouble?

No, no, no.

Just a pair of jeans, some undies, panties.

You're beautiful.

I almost want to touch you.

Oh, you touch me, I'll touch you, and you know it.

Down there on the right.

I'll frisk you later.

Let the customer through.

Where are you from?

France.

So your French.

What?

Oh.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, you bastard!

Come back here, you sleazy bastard!

People will steal anything.

Nice here, huh?

Sitting out under the trees.

We're good together, huh?

Mm.

Mm.

The simple pleasures, man.

No one bugging us.

I'm going to use the loo, try my new panties on, man.

I hope they don't scratch.

Walk slow, man.

Walk slow.

We're out for a stroll.

You hungry?

No.

It's nice.

It's nice to be.

Just like flies always buzzing around our balls.

Not so fast, Jesus.

It's like they can't live without us.

What about Marie?

We're just two simple fuckheads!

Yeah, but how's she going to find us?

She'll find us!

And if she don't, she ain't never been in the slammer, so fuck it!

Miss!

Miss!

You didn't pay your check!

Miss!

Get back here!

Fucking Mexicans!

Fuck you, you fucking hicks!

I'll get you!

What the fuck are those things they're carrying?

My balls!

Fuck your balls, man!

Stand up!

The winner!

Woo!

Jesus Quintana!

You fucking asshole!

What the fuck you doing in there, man?

It was open.

Shit, nobody told me.

Come on.

Get in.

Fucking rock and roll, man.

Let's rock and roll!

Hey!

Hurry up, man!

That's my car!

Get out of my car!

Fuck you, baby!

Stop!

Hey!


Put on the gas!

I want to see his name, Paul Dominique, in the obits column.

Fuck.

You shouldn't do that.

What?

Never wish another person dead.

What are you talking about?

Nothing I ever wish for comes true.

Where are we going?


What do you want?

Nothing.

Yeah, man, it's like he had a beer or something, right?

Got to be honest, man, there's nothing more dope than a fine black woman.

Blondes have more fun?

Bullshit.

I lost my virginity to a in the synagogue.

It was my Uncle Pedro's house.


You bastard!

You ditched me!

Marie, I told him not too.

Fucking pussies.

I come out of the toilet, and you fucking disappear?

Left me cold like some..

Hey, it was a one bobo move.

Admit it, man.

First, you stick my ass with the check.

I dropped everything.

I lost my job, and you run away like a chicken shit.

Gutless bitch.

Hey, I'm not a bitch.

Chill out, woman.

We couldn't afford to get pinched.

You ain't never been in the joint.

Suppose something had happened to me, eh?

Fuckheads.

When you think about it, it's a drag to be famous, eh?

I'll tell you who was underrated, Vanessa Del Rio.

I don't like porn.

She got so into it.

She's like Pacino or something.

Oh, there are good actresses and bad actresses, even in porn.

What's off season mean to you?

Vacation.

When I was a kid, I never went anywhere.


Home sweet home, man.

Yeah, shit, man.

We're good together, no?

Eh?

Oh.

Jesus.

Huh?

My jimmy is limp.

So what?

So is mine.

I always wake up with a hard on.

Come on in, man.

This feels great.

I can't.

I'll start bleeding again.

Man, your feet ain't gonna bleed, man.

Oh, look at this, eh?

, man.

Woo!

You prick!

You stink, man.

Get some crud off, purify the air, you understand?

Yeah, come on, man, you'll be all right.

It's all in your head, man.

Stop worrying.

You feel good, eh?

You feel any better?

Maybe too?

Come on, man.


Woo!

You are really pretty, man.

Back off.

Don't be ashamed, man.

I'm not ashamed.

I just don't want to.

How do you know if you ain't never even tried it, man?

Let me have a go at it, man.

Come on.

Hey!

And by the way, did Paul Dominique get his job back?

Holy shit!

I'm not doing it!

Come on, man.

It's all right.

It's not happening!

It's not happening!

Come on.

It... it's OK between friends.

No means no!

Hey, man, take it easy.

Hey, man, take it easy, man.

Ahh, fuck.

I would have let you.

I'm bleeding.

Petey?

What happened?

Lovers quarrel?

I tried to do the right thing.

Hey, Petey.

You know what?

Do you know what I think?

If men knew more about getting fucked, maybe they would be better at fucking.

What?

You want to fuck me?

Go ahead.

Be my guest.

Hey, we didn't come here for your ass, OK?

Yeah?

So what do you want then?

I want news.

I want news of your pimp hairdresser.

Paul is not my pimp.

He get his car back?

You talk to your friend, the... the... the... the manicurist?

Dominique, yeah.

So... so how's he doing, eh?

Eh?

Paul Dominique, eh?

Is he happy?

About what?

About getting his car back.

He sold it.

He so... he sold it?

Mhm.

To... to who?

To some car salesman, some guy.

I don't know.

Some of those people driving around that deathtrap.

OK, what do we do now?

Jesus.

I got it up.

Yeah, I know, man.

What a monster.

Good for you.

Oh.

Oh.

Take it easy, man.

I'm getting seasick.

Don't get so excited.

Take your time, man, negotiate.

Oh.

Nice going, man.

Great performance.

Three and a half minutes, man.

Jesus, want to try?

You got there so fast she never left the starting gate, man?

Mhm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on.

Watch and learn, young man.

You have to admire...

Sorry.

...the professionalism, man.

The flexibility, man.

It's all about finessing.

Nice and easy, man, does it, man.

We have the whole night ahead of us, right, Marie?

Oh!

Yeah!

Woo!

Woo!

Yeah!

Ah!

Woo!

Yeah.

Am I hurting you?

No.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, usually, I hear like a sort of whimper in the back of the throat.

No, I'm fine.

You realize you're in the hands of a stud, eh?

, eh?

Yeah.

You OK?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

You sure?

Are you always like this, Marie?

Like what?

I don't know.

She ain't into your bullshit.

She likes me better.

Right, Marie?

Ain't no pleasure for the Jesus not to give pleasure.

College shit, man.

I'm into serious bowling, eh?

I'm sorry, Marie, but don't you ever get off?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't mind.

What do you mean?

You never came, never?

No.

That's deep.

Well, maybe I wasn't made right.

How are the other girls?

What do they do?

They're alive.

You know, they... they... they enjoy themselves.

They moan, and they thank you with their eyes.

Their eyes... their eyes roll back in their heads.

You could see the whites.

Maybe you could teach me.

Want to try?

Yeah, man.

Be my guest, man.

I got... I got to recover a little bit, eh?

Don't feel like you have to say anything.

Silence doesn't bother me.

I'm a loner.

And I plan to stay that way.

No kids, no man.

I don't cheat on anyone.

I sleep with everybody.

That way, no one is jealous.

But not in my place.

I fuck on the outside.

And I remember, not like the bitches who pretend not to.

You remember all those faces, drooling, groping, filthy words they whisper in your ear.

Why always the left ear?

Strange. oops, all those kind of things.

374 guys I had, you know, inside me.

Oh, don't give me that look.

It don't even add up to one a week.

Did you count us in the total?

Of course not.

Wow!

So you didn't remember we balled.

Well, I don't call that balling.

What do you call it?

Well, making love a little.

And we succeeded?

Well, I'm sorry, no.

But you tried, A for effort.

Oh, shit.

OK, guys, when I whistle, the coast is clear.

We're busted, flat broke, and she comes up with this.

Unbelievable.

She's a genius.

Masterpiece.

Do you remember the fun we had, eh, at the sex parties?

Come on, boy.

Come on, boy. Get it.

Get it.

Get it.

That motherfucker.

Look out for the shit, bitch.

Hey, kiss me.

Where is the register, eh?

Eh?

Hey, kiss me.

You hear me?

I want you to kiss me.

Not now.

You promised you'd kiss me.

And right now.

I want to know what the fuck I'm missing.

Where's the alarm, man?

Hey, I'm in the mood now.

Hey, this is the perfect place.

Is that... is that an alarm?

So fucking kiss me.

It could be a booby trap.

Is the alarm still on?

But how long is it going to take us, eh?

It's going to take...

Is that an alarm?

I'm going to give you a fucking alarm?

I'm not just a sex machine.

I'm fed up with a guy who thinks my ass is a bowling lane.

I want to feel something here.

You promised you'd kiss me, fuckheads.

Oh!

What the fuck, eh?

I didn't do anything.

You'd be better off.

Paul is going to find me.

We still love you.

I could go to jail.

I'm an accomplice.

Tell him we kidnapped you.

I won't be a problem.

Jesus! Petey!

We got to pull a Houdini.

Hit the mattresses.


Woo!

Woo! Done.


Woo!

Woo!

Woo!

Mmm, that's right.

I'm going to hold you like a bowling ball.

You couldn't even take off your tag, asshole.

Hey!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm not that easy.

Fucking.

He thought he could get over.

You.

It was a power move, man.

Old school.

We could have scored.

I could have scored.

No more shampoo girls, man.

I liked Marie because she was good people.

You know what you need, my friend?

A night with a real woman, a tiger.

OK, I'm all for that.

A fighter.

You don't know which is end is up, man.

You think it's over.

And she swoops in on that.

Woo!

Hold my ball, bro.

Hey, where we going?

My reservoir, private grounds, 300 women.

You barely touch them, and they are slow dying for it.

Get the picture?

300 women?

A loser.

I think she's beautiful, unbelievably beautiful.


Go get the car.

Vamos.

Don't be afraid.

Listen, you can't stay here all alone.

Where are you going?

I don't know.

You got any money?

Someone to call?

No.

You got any clothes in that bag?

No.

And you got no cash, no clothes, nowhere to go.

What do you have to offer?

Everything.

We're at your service?

Jesus Quintana with a car and cash.

Trouble?

Everything all right?

Yeah, man, we just got a little engine trouble.

You can put your car.

Where is it?

You know, it's at... at the garage, yeah.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, but... but the lady, what's...

Hit the road, sucker, before I put it in your ass.

Shit, when you need them, the bastards never stop, eh?

Here, take it.

Take it.

Go ahead.

And come with us.

Is that heavy?

Shit yeah.

What the fuck?

Hey, watch it, man.

Well, she is just carrying a piece, man.

No, asshole.

That's our piece.

I gave it to her so she can trust us.

But now... now she does, right?

I'm OK.

Are you out of your mind?

I got involved in a totally fucked up scene here.

Hey, now fuck you. Be polite.

There's a lady in the car.

Everything is fucked up.

What's your name, hmm?

767.

OK, 767, what you feel like doing, eh?

Nothing.

We can't keep driving around like this.

That's not my problem.

I didn't ask you for anything.

Don't ask me to make decisions for you.

Comfy?

My feet hurt.

OK.

We'll get you some new kicks and some fresh gear.

Here.

Thanks.

I'll go in alone.

You won't need to go, man.

The alarm might go off.

I'm keeping the gun.

I don't like this broad.

She's giving me the creeps.

I don't trust her.

Hey, no one's keeping you, man.

How much you want, hm?

Come on, man.

Off to an orgy.

You think they get jealous?

No.

She's all yours.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Thanks.

Good.

Slowly.

Why?

Slowly.

You should eat slowly.

Right.

Thanks.

Would you care for anything else, ma'am?

Oh, no, I'm good.

Kind of slow this time of year, I guess, eh?

Yes.

Yes.

But we always have people passing through, you know, the restaurant's reputation.

Oh.

What?

You're like in a guidebook or something?

No, no, actually we prefer not to do that.

Really?

No.

Why?

Well, the crowds there, they're dreadful.

There are just... things can get out of hand.

And then where would we be with just three stars?

I have no idea.

I can't.

You can't keep your eye on everyone.

No.

You couldn't keep your eye on everyone.

How about, um, after dinner drinks on the house?

Enjoy.

She thought we were going to leave without paying.

Thank you.

For what?

For everything.

For the... the meal.

I, um, I can only thank you in the bed.

You can turn the lights out if you want.

I'm not saying that you have to turn them out.

But if you want to, it doesn't really matter.

It's been such a long time.

I don't know if I remember how.

You might have to each me.

I mean, you know how they do it nowadays, you know?

Everything.

We can do everything.

All right?

Madame, that was excellent.

Thank you so much.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

Really, that was such a treat.

I just got out of prison.

So it was very special for me.

And, you know, it's been years.

I've been in a wet, dark cell, no sky.

And I... that's why my period stopped, I think, because of the darkness.

You know, first it was a week late, then two weeks late.

Pretty soon, you just forget about it.

I... I... it's not my fault.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I just... I want you to appreciate the bleeding.

I know that makes you cranky, and, you know, you feel bloated, the pain and everything.

But that's not what matters.

What matters is the bleeding.

Why are you telling me this?

So you'll be aware.

And you tell your friends.

Because we don't talk about these things enough.

No, we don't.

We don't talk about it.

Do you have a mint?

Yes, like, right... yeah.

Here you go.

You're welcome.

Thank you. You're welcome.


My name is Jean. What's yours?

Peter.

Well, there's not going to be much left of you when I'm done, Peter.

It's now time off with 767.


I have my period.

Everything OK?

No.

No, really.


It's over.

It will be all right, hmm.

Jean Bersome, 767.

She couldn't hack being free.

Shit.

What?

She's got a kid, man, in prison.

Boy or a girl?

It's signed Jack.

They're all... they're all Jack, man.

How... how old is he?

Just a kid.


If you need anything, you know where to find me.

That's him.

Jack Bersome?

That's me.

Your mother sent us.

767.

Well, why didn't she come herself if she got out two months ago?

Yeah, but she... you know, she went abroad.

Where?

Portugal.

Where's Portugal?

I mean, I haven't heard from her in two months.

She couldn't write?

What the fuck is she doing in Portugal?

She split with a good friend of ours, terrific guy.

He's an engineer.

Agricultural.

She said go and get Jack and take care of him.

And she's very happy.

She'll be back soon.

Who's this agricultural guy?

Don't worry about it.

He's a good guy.

If he's so good, why isn't he here?

He's got a record.

How many busts?

One served, two suspended.

Not bad.

Is that your car, Plymouth Fury?

Third generation.

The Swedish police used to use that.

And they never die.

Check it out, man.

This shit's vintage, man.


This is Marie.

She's our girl.

And now I'm yours too.

The only hitch is I can't come.

Coffee?

Sure, just a drop.

You're not hungry?

Yes.

Want some jam?

I don't know.

We share everything.

Hmm?

Go ahead.

We want you to.

It's our pleasure, man.

Your mom was... she's something special.

Jack.

She's really great.

Come in.


Thanks to us, a good deal is cooking, hmm?

Yeah.

We're not always doing the wrong thing.

I'm proud of us.

Every about that chick.

And no one's ever courted her.

I mean, really, wooed her.

That's what she needs.

She wasn't made right.

She said it herself.

It's like she's missing a... a chromosome or something.

Her little chest gets me.

You can almost see the heartbeat.

She's like a little reindeer.

Yeah, but it's a point of honor, man, because we went through the matter deep.

Yeah, but it's not always about the johnson or the coochie, right?

What do you mean?

It's the brain telling the body to let go, eh?

It's perplexing shit.

What was that?

Shit, man.

What is that?

What man?


She's digging it.

We're not involved at all.

Petey, Jesus, it happened!

It happened!

I came.

I came!

Suddenly, everything turned purple, my hair, my fingernails were on fire.

I felt like I was going to exploding.

Go!

Oh!

That ought to cool you off.

But I did it.

I got my Christmas present finally.

But I think of how we knocked ourselves out over your hang up.

Fully, night and day.

I mean, what does he got that we don't got?

What?

One that vibrates?

I mean, we put... we put our hearts into it, man.

This man's a harder fucker, man, a samurai.

Ahh!

Yeah!

What did he do to you?

Things.

Well, what kind of things?

Nothing special.

Anyway, I was the one who did everything.

You?

You don't do anything.

Well, yeah.

He did not have the balls to touch me.

So I had to do all the work.

And all of a sudden, he busted a nut.

And that's what made you come?

No.

I had him close, try if you feel like it.

So he did, making love to me.

And he pops again.

Two pump chump?

Lucky you.

I asked him if he's a virgin.

He says, yes and starts making love to me again, slowly.

Kissing me.

Kiss me.

Kissing me.

Then this time.

No, OK, we got it, OK?

No.

But this time...

Marie!

Oh, I got to go.

He needs me.

Marie!

Marie!

Oh, Jack, yes!

Woo!

It's too much.

Yeah, they're from another generation.

No respect.


Want some?

Wouldn't want to be any trouble.

Maybe a little scrap would be all right.

There's no dessert because our cash just ran out.

Oh, well, that's a bitch.

We'll have to score.

Can't go on like this.

You got a gun?

Who said?

It's $100,000.

It's a cinch.

No risk, you know, just some old folks.

We prefer to make our own decisions when it comes to risks.

Yeah, well, you interested?

I mean, I could do it alone.

I just... I do need a gun.

It's a... it's a work tool.

Well?

I don't give a damn.

You decide.

Fine.

Here you go.

Good luck.

Thank you.

I told you they'd cop out.

Hey, who said anything about copping out?


Hey, man.

Hey, what the fuck's going on?

You know this guy?

Yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

Look who it is.

Son of a gun.

Yeah. Remember me?

What a surprise.

How you doing?

Yeah.

What are you up to?

Same game as before.

Oh, yeah?

What's that?

Jack?

You fucking shot me.

Where's Jack!

He's just standing there like a statue.

Get in.

He's got the gun.

Man, don't cry.

I'm not crying.

Emotions are for assholes.

Hey, didn't you love him?

I don't know.

I didn't have time.

He got the job done, OK?

But you have to be a dumbass to shoot a cop when we could have gone like that.

He wasn't a cop.

He was a prison guard.

The poor guy had nothing.

He never smiled.

Yes, no, thanks, again, stand up, sit down, lie down.

Just like a fucking gym teacher.

Maybe he didn't notice he was free.


You want me to hold it for you?

That's indecent exposure, man.

I know about that shit.

Yeah, man, life is a bitch.

But, still, you have to look on the bright side.

We got our lady back, eh?

You asleep?

No.

Hey.

You know, why don't you get up and take a look around?

There's a whole galaxy out here.

Mhm.

The Big Dipper right in front of our face.

Oh, make love to me, sweet Pete.

Oh!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Oh, that's so good.

Oh, my god.

Yeah!

Jesus, hurry up.

I'm coming.

Oh!

Oh.

Huh?


You have to go.

What's wrong?

You can hitchhike from here, man.

What did I do?

Nothing.

We are accomplices to an attempted murder.

It's in the papers.

You're not.

You didn't hurt anyone.

But I'm... I'm in deep with you guys.

No way, man.

You have to go.

When I just started coming, I'm feeling like this.

No fucking way.

Hey!

Hey!

Don't be crazy, woman.

I can't see you in a cell with a number on your back.

Stretch your wings and fly, girl.

Listen to my feminine instinct.

Sometimes I have vision.

I'm never wrong.

We're not going to jail.

So shut up and make love to me.

I don't know who chose this car, but it's worse than a prison cell.

Ah, it's good for the environment.

Fuck the environment.

Man, I can't breathe.

I got to get out of here.

Oh, he can't breathe, man.

What about the other people too.

There's other people in the car.

It's not just you.

I know, but I...

You know it's always about him, right, Marie?

I'm getting really squished here.

Yeah, always about him.

Always about him, shit, man.

It's unbelievable, man.

I told you not.

A family picnic and shit.

Ah, no, no, no.

What... what are you doing?

I just have to pee.

Oh, I've got to pee pee.

Eww.

Yeah, mira!

Holy shit.

Oh, man.

What's up, man?

Hi.

Another bank robber special.

What's happening?

My Uncle Ronaldo had a 1968 red and white top convertible.

Nice.

That's a great deal, our smart car for a muscle car.

Yes!

Yeah, that's it, man.

She's fucking cute, right?

Starsky and Hutch!

Dad, they're taking the car. do something.

Honey?

My fucking car!

It's a fucking classic.

Dad, do something!

It's our car!

Hey, come back here!

Dad!

You guys did good.

You should be proud, eh?

You've got a real good solid foundation now, Marie, OK?

Where are we going?

I don't know.

What are they going to do to us, put a hole in our ass?

You already got one, man.

Yeah.

What do we do, just drive around till we run out of gas?

Why not?

Why not?

You're happy?

Yeah.

I am.

We're good together, no?

Yeah.

Thanks, man, peaceful, on the road, hanging loose.


Oh!

Go on, man.

Come on, bitch. Shake it.

Woo!

Shake it, baby.

All right, come on, shake it.

Ho!

Ahhh!

Ahh!

What's that?

Shit.

The brakes are jammed.


Oh, filthy hairdresser.

I thought this car looked familiar.

Why didn't you say anything?

Yeah, it was orange, I remember.

Oh, my poor little balls.

It was your idea.