The Last Movie (1971) Script

Now, we're going to start the beauty contest for my movie.

Music!


Stop! Stop! Stop!

Miss, come here.

Very pretty.

- Very pretty. I congratulate you. Thank you.

You're going to do the part in the movie.

Friends, music!

Here, very good.

Very nice.

Cut!

Cut! Cut! Cut!

Cut!

Stop!

Good.


They didn't want to come to my church any more.

They got carried away by that game.

So I just wanted to... to show them that the same moralities that exist, er... in the real church, can exist here in the façade, in the movie church.

Right?

So the only thing is that I hope, that after this game is over, morality can be born again and that's what we should pray for, Mr Kansas.

♪ Wiffledem time

♪ If you wibble-de-wobble my wee

♪ If you fribble-de-fram on the side of my flam

♪ I will fribble-de-dibble your free

♪ And you flipple-de-flam

♪ And you flipple-de-side of his flee

♪ And she wambled it omble his dee

♪ And she dibble-de-dam on the side of his flam

♪ And he donk-donk-donkled her free ♪

♪ I prefer your condemnation

♪ to your suckin' sympathy.

♪ Good for nothin' is good enough for me ♪ Okay, I'll call it.

Aces, full.

You lose.

Oh! Billy, I'd like to see your card.

I saw him.

He's right. He's got you beat.

All right, hold it, boys.

Hold it yourself, Sheriff.

Billy! Billy, don't shoot!

Son, goddamnit! Come back here!

I want to go with you, Billy.

Well, there's plenty more where that came from.

Terrible boy. Move along!

Hey, Art. Where is he?

Are you happy in there, or do you want to come with us?

You boys better watch yourselves out there.

Hey Elliot, give him a gun.


No, Pisco!

Hey, Art!

Hold it!


Martha, get on back here!

You wait here, little brother.

Bastards!

Bitch!

♪ Busted flat in Baton Rouge, and

♪ Headin' for the trains

♪ Feelin' nearly faded as my jeans

♪ Bobby thumbed a diesel down

♪ Just before it rained

♪ Took us all the way to New Orleans

♪ I took my harpoon out of

♪ My dirty red bandanna

♪ And was blowing sad

♪ While Bobby sang the blues

♪ With them windshield wipers slapping time and

♪ Bobby clapping hands we finally

♪ Sang up every song that driver knew

♪ Freedom's just another word

♪ For nothin' left to lose

♪ Nothin' ain't worth nothing but it's free

♪ But it's free

♪ Feelin' good was easy, Lord, ♪ When Bobby sang the blues

♪ Feelin' good was good enough for me

♪ Good enough for me and Bobby McGee ♪

Yeah, that's good.

Hey, do you remember who directed that picture?

Yeah, Blake Edwards!

Yeah, an old buddy of mine, remember?

Well, I was down... yeah.

Well, I was in Dodge City, Kansas. You know I was raised down there.

Oh yeah. I used to go in every Saturday afternoon to see movies, and my grandmother would, er...

She'd fill up her apron with eggs, and she'd go in and sell them in the poultry place, and she'd sell them in there, and, er... we'd go to movies.

You know, my grandfather's out there working on a wheat farm.

Don't tell this old cowboy that I was going to see him when I was a little one too.

Uh oh! Uh uh!

Not quite that little. Listen, let me get these drinks together here now.

Yeah. Scotch, if you have it.

Yeah, right, okay. We've got it here.

♪ You'll see that lonely gutter

♪ Just a careless step away

♪ And the altar that they're building

♪ You don't even understand

♪ 'Cause you're dazzled by the flashing

♪ Of the daggers in their hands

♪ You'll be dancing in the darkness

♪ When their music disappears

♪ And the jangle of your chains

♪ Will be the only sound you hear

♪ Till your broken body's bleeding

♪ On an altar made of stone

♪ 'Cause you've sacrificed your soul

♪ To please a world that's sick and wrong

♪ And you never heard a single word I said

♪ Oh, make it, gal, before you wake up dead

♪ You better make it

♪ You better make it

♪ You better make it

♪ You better make it

♪ You better make it

♪ You better make it ♪


Oh!

The man is dead. I want to help. Billy!

Billy?

My heart is burning.

I can feel it.

♪ Been around a long time

♪ More than I can say

♪ Search for the truth

♪ I'm looking today

♪ Rode aboard the warships

♪ Went down in '42

♪ But my God and I, ♪ We got through

♪ Wasted in a dungeon... ♪


♪ Inca-a-a-a

♪ Inca ♪

♪...save the nation

♪ But you're just a man

♪ Ah, you're just a man

♪ Honey you're just a man

♪ Here I stand in Levi's... ♪ Are you all right?

Oh, yeah, sure, I'm fine. I'm just out here getting a little air.

Well, they are complaining there is no liquor.

Oh, yeah, it's in the cabinet there.

I'll be in a minute. Okay, honey? I'll be right in there, okay?

I'll see you there, now.

♪ Inca

♪ I-i-i-inca ♪

♪ My God and I, ♪ We get through

♪ So can you

♪ If you'll just sing it with me

♪ La-di-da-di-da-da ♪

♪ From the coal mines of Kentucky

♪ To the California sun

♪ Bobby shared the secrets of my soul

♪ Standing right beside me, Lord, ♪ Through everything I done

♪ Every night she kept me from the cold

♪ But then somewhere near Salinas, Lord, ♪ I let her slip away

♪ Lookin' for the home I hope she'll find... ♪ Hey, Kansas! They're looking for you in there.

Oh yeah, thank you. Yeah, down there.

♪ But I'd trade all my tomorrows, ♪ For one single yesterday

♪ Holdin' Bobby's body next to mine

♪ Freedom's just another word

♪ For nothin' left to lose

♪ Nothin' left is all she left for me

♪ Feelin' good was easy, Lord, ♪ When Bobby sang... ♪ Oh, what the hell? Jesus.

Hey! Hold it! Cut, cut, cut.

What the goddamn hell's the matter with you, Tex?

Where the hell have you been? My name's Kansas. I'm sorry, I didn't...

I don't care... I didn't realise. I didn't realise, man.

Who hired him?

Come on! He's supposed to be in the shot.

I don't give a goddamn. Did you hire him?

Yeah, I hired him. All right, get your positions again, and on the double.

Come on! We've been on this damn shot too long.

Hey! Hey, Kansas! Will you quit spooking that goddamn horse?

We're trying to get this shot here.

Goddamnit.

All right, get your positions.

Get your camera ready! Come on!

Move your camera over to where it's supposed to be. Number one.

Let's go.

Move it!

Come on!

Come on, Dean. Action!

Let's move.

Keep it moving, keep it moving.

Keep it moving.

Get your ass up there.

Hey.

Billy!

Look out.

All right, forget it. Forget it.

Wait a minute. Wait.

What's wrong with you?

You were not... I didn't want you leaning against that.

Did you want me to go back in the...

Wait a minute.

Hold it, hold it. Quiet.

Kitty.

Next time when he picks you up, give me a little bit more exuberance.

You know? Okay.

This is your old outlaw friend.

We're slack. You know?

It looked like you weren't thirsty.

He pushed the sheriff.

All right, okay, you just rode 500 miles. You should have gone right in there.

Sam? Sam?

Sam!

When this guy gets in my way, man, I'm gonna push him right out...

Sam? Sam, there were a bunch of pigs coming in...

I know it. I know it, but I can't help it.

That's all right. That's all right.

This is the only open place here.

Let's move over here.

John!

All right, move around, and give me a little activity when you go in.

Come on! Tighten up there.

Oh, come on.

All right! Forget it, forget it!

Is that a cut, Sam?

That's a cut. Forget it!

We'll have to go into the scene, into the saloon, and give me a 4228.

Do you want the other gang to come in here?

What's that? Do you want the other gang to come in?

4228? Well, let's see, uh...

Mike, you're in that... Say, Kansas!

Where's Kansas?

Do you want to let them, or...

Sam, do you want the other gang to come in on this shot?

No, I have to look at that script for a minute.

I just want to make sure.

Mike, don't go away. You're in that shot.

You're in that shot. All right.

See those horses right over there?

Yeah.

Bring them in. Would you do that?

Yes, sir. Do you mind?

Do you see all that?

That's not a match.

That's not a match. See Wardrobe.

What do you want? Now when we finish this goddamn picture, you can take the goddamn camera, and make your own goddamn home movies.

Get those men over there and get them out of the way.

Johnny. Johnny.

Johnny! Yes, Sam.

See if you can get a camera up on that tower, will you?

If it won't hold, give me a track for the entrance of Billy coming in. Okay?

Hey, hey!

No, Pisco!

Don't shoot!

Hey, Art!

Hey, Art!

All right, yeah, let's cut the shirt now.

His body should hit right about in here.

All right, now listen.

Dean, this is the death of Billy the Kid, and I want it legitimate, and different, and better than it's ever been done.

When I squeeze off a couple of shots at you, you take it, hit it, and hit it hard.

I want balls when you die.

All right, let's roll 'em.

All right? Speed.

Action.

I want to thank the cast, and the crew, for a hell of a lot of wonderful co-operation.

I enjoyed making this picture, and I know it was difficult, in this damn rugged location.

God bless all of you. I'll see you back in Hollywood.


Okay, cut!


I can get up there, by the time I get up there it's gonna be, it's gonna be golden.

Yeah, see?


♪ It's more than just the story

♪ Of my life up to now

♪ It's the daylight, ♪ The night flights, ♪ Past the tombstones I pretend not to see

♪ It's more than some neurosis

♪ I don't really believe

♪ It's the hard sells

♪ The bandshells, ♪ And the calluses no-one can see

♪ La-di-da, the daydream

♪ Is more than I can stand

♪ Me-oh-my, ♪ My life and times are one menagerie

♪ I'm 23 years old going on 400

♪ I'm a man of desperation

♪ In my prime, going blind

♪ And I'll drink myself to death

♪ If I'm not careful

♪ And I'm not careful ♪

What the hell was that?

I don't know. He looks dead.

What the hell are you eating for?

I don't know him.

You're far out. Far out.

Gringo.

They make fires, why?

Well, they make fire from the church door, I guess.

I don't know.

It's weird.

Everybody come.


Whew. Hey, it's muy frio tonight, ain't it?

Mmm.

You cold? Mmm, my feet are cold.

Yeah? Yeah.

I know something that's hot there. Yes, sir.

I'm sorry. Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

Padre? It's all right, Padre. Come on in.

I'm sorry.

No, it's all right. Come on, come on in here.

Thank you. Sir, I would like to talk to you, please.

Yes, sir?

I want you to come here a minute.

Please.

Yes, sir.

Yeah? Would you look at the square? Over there.

What in the hell is going on down there?

Hell.

And that's violence, and people are killing themselves in the streets, and movies have bring here violence, and I don't like it, and I want to talk to you.

Private, er... if I can go out a moment with you.

Please. I would like you to follow me, please.

You know, Padre, I didn't, er... I'm just a hired hand.

I know you are, but please, I need you to follow me.

Do me this favour.

Yes, sir.

Let's sit for a moment.

Oh God, God, I'm scared, I'm scared. I'm scared.

You're scared, Padre? What are you, what are you... scared about?

Listen to that. Listen to that.

That man is teaching them to make movies.

They are imitating the movies.

I... if...

You know, if one of those souls go against my word, that is the word of God.

It's not that just one soul, but is the two, three, ten, hundred.

So you can give me a hand in this situation.

I'll help you. Let's just go take a peek.

I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want myself to get hurt.

Let's just take a little look and see what's going on, man.

Okay.

Okay. Be careful with this.

We'll just take a look-see. Yeah.

Come on! I want movement! I want movement!

Yes, but much faster.

Right through here. Through here.

Faster. Faster. Lady, move.

You must come in through here.

Come on. Come here. Come here.

Fast, fast. I want movement.

The reflectors to this side. Over here.

Right over there. Move with the torches.

Slowly.

Action!

To the left.

There! More! More!

Very good. That's enough.

It's all right now.

Yeah, that seemed pretty weird, all right.

Those boys are really going at it.

They don't know how to fake the fight.

All right, I, well... I can show them how to fake a fight.

You know, you guys are going to kill yourselves doing that kind of thing.

Hey, how's it going, gringo?

Hey, how you doin'?

Listen, you shouldn't be doing this kind of thing.

You're going to hurt somebody doing that.

We don't do that in the movies.

We fake everything. It's all phony.

Let me show you something, look.

You see where your camera is here?

Now look, if I...

Stand here.

If I throw a punch like that, see, if I throw a punch like that I don't really hit the man.

Look, look.

You try it on me now.

You try it on me now.

You hit him.

Just, just, no no. No, here.

Just like this. Just throw it right through there.

Okay. Go ahead.

See what I mean?

But that didn't look right. You got to try one more time.

Like this. Here. No, like this.

Okay, that's good. Okay, good.

No, this way.

See what I mean?

But that's not real!

That's not real.

Is that real?

No, that's not real!

We have to hit you!

Hit hard!

Gringo, go to your horses.

Go to your horses!

And you, Priest, go to your church.

Go back home!

Don't listen to the evil one!

Enough!

You, Father!

Go to your church. Is this your church, here?

These streets are mine!

Mine and the people's.

Understand?

Okay. Action!

Action.

Move.

You with the torches, move faster.

Joy!

Joy! Joy!

Joy!

Joy! Joy!

More movement! More movement!

Give me movement and lights!

Movement and lights!


♪ Spaces between spaces

♪ And lines between lines

♪ She stands in the doorway

♪ Beyond space and time

♪ And she picks the flowers

♪ Out in the rain and

♪ She says she loves me

♪ And you know I can't complain

♪ But only when it rains does it rain

♪ And only when it stops it is no more

♪ And only once does the big ship come down

♪ To let those good rats run ashore


Boy, this is the life. Isn't it?

This is the life.

Just nice and simple.

Just give me a little adobe up there in that...

Right up there in those rocks somewhere.

I'll be a very happy man.

Can we have a swimming pool, like the one you have in town?

What the hell do you want a swimming pool for with all that?

Because I like a swimming pool.

You know, I bet you can buy this land around here dirt cheap.

Probably get for under a dollar an acre.

Yep.

I bet I could buy the whole top of that mountain up there for practically nothing.

For a nice simple adobe you don't need a whole mountain.

You know,

the top of that mountain up there is flat as a pancake.

I'll bet you that you can put in a landing strip.

You put in a landing strip, fly the people right in there, you build a hotel.

I'll bet you could put in a ski... a ski jump, ski slope around here.

Somewhere.

There is no snow here.

Oh yeah. That's right.

Yeah.

We're going to be so happy here.

Even without a swimming pool and a hotel?

Aren't we?

Well, no, I don't know about that.

You're damn right we're going to be happy.

Only thing is, how are you going to get people up there?

That's the thing. Maybe put in a cable car.

Yeah, probably put in a cable car.

Just cable everybody right up there.

Hey, Maria! Mmm?

I'm going into town.

I'm going to see if there's any mail for me down there.

Oh, wait for me. I'll go with you.

I'm just going to be gone a minute.

Well, I have beauty appointment.

What's the matter with your hair? Your hair looks fine.

No, it's dirty.

Well, why don't you wash it here, then?

I have beauty appointment and I must look beautiful.

Hey, you know what I want let you buy me?

One General Electric refrigerator.

You know, there's an awful lot going out, there's nothing coming in, and we're going to have to start economising some way.

Well, you want I go back to work?

Okay. I support you.

That don't mean we don't like to have nice things, gringo.

Just because we don't have electricity and running water, it don't mean we don't like to have nice things, gringo.

All right, get it together. Let's go.

I just can't understand that.

I don't understand how I can get letters like this and I don't, I mean...

I don't understand how they can build all those sets, afford to build those sets and not send movies down here.

What the hell are we doing here?

I got the horses down here.

I mean, maybe they got more facilities in Mexico.

Okay, but I mean this here, I mean they can't duplicate this anywhere.

And this is just...

I'm not even going to think about it.

I'm going to go play some checkers. That's what I'm going to do.

All right.

I've been looking all over this damn place for you, boy.

How they hanging?

Two in a bunch?

What the hell is going on here?

What does it look like is going on?

I'm standing on my h...

Looks like you shot Daffy Duck is what it looks like to me.

You did this, right? Yeah, right.

You were out there, bang bang. Got my carbine, five in a row.

Bam, bam, bam. They fell down just like a gook. Pow.

You love that damn war, man.

It's like a childhood sweetheart to you, ain't it?

Hey listen, what the hell?

I want to play some checkers.

I want to take some money from you.

Now look, think of me as a map.

I can taste it. I can smell it.

And I got it right up here.

The goddamnedest gold mine you ever saw in your whole life.

And all I need is 500 bucks. 500 lousy bucks.

And you want to talk to me about those Hollywood fruits and all those guys you're working with.

I'm trying to make you a rich man.

That's what we call Hollywood's panhandle.

That's a big old box office. That's what that is.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes!

Flashing it up, boy.

They're flashing it up now.

Do your feet hurt, baby?

Yeah, they're swollen.

It's those shoes.

Hey, wait a minute. I know them.

I know her. I know them.

You know them? Yeah.

Okay, now. I've seen them.

I've seen them out on the movie set.

I think they're married, man. I think they're married.

Oh.

How do you like my new bath oil?

I love it. I have to try it, darling.

Yeah.

I'm right there with you, but let me cool it, okay?

Now you go ahead.

You turn around.

Okay. Wanna try it on?

Is it my move?

Yes, it certainly is.

Okay.

Hi, Mrs Anderson, Miss Anderson.

Well, hello. Do I know you?

Ah yes, I'm Neville Robey.

I met you once when I came to your husband's factory, broom factory, and tried to get a job.

Oh yes. How are you?

Hot!

So am I.

Are you hot? Are you hot?

Oh yes. I'm very hot.

You're hot too, huh?

I'm hot.

You're hot. You're hot. I'm hot. Are you hot?

I'm the hottest.

This is Kansas. He's hot too.

I'm Kansas. Kansas.

We're all hot.

We've got some cool drinks coming for you now.

We just ordered four, because we got this mix and everything and we better drink it up here.

We'll give you two of them.

We got this Julio de Penis.

How long have you boys been drinking this afternoon?

What? What did you say?

I mean, after all that naughty talk we shouldn't take those drinks.

But I guess we will anyway.

Really, it'll cool you off and make you a lot hotter, I'll tell you that.

Well, even if you're terrible, I guess we'll take them.

Did you know also that you can tell the size of a man by... er, size of a woman, by the size of her mouth?

And the other lady looked at her and says, "Ooh, is that so?"

Did I ever tell you the joke about the midget?

He was in love.

Real shy, you see.

And he was in love with this real tall blonde, but he couldn't find anybody to put him up to it.

That's good. That's real good.

Put him up to it!

Terrific, Harry.

That's the reason I went into the broom business, you see?

It's because all these witches in the whole world.

Riding around these old, dirty brooms with these long sweeps on them. You know?

So I said I'm going into the broom business, if for nothing else, is to get all the riches in the world, witches in the world, into new brooms.

Oh come on, there's got to be one laugh!

How many times have you told that story now?

Maybe 85,000 times. Yeah, about 85,000 times.

Yeah, along with all the other stories.

Yeah, I believe you'd rather make bad jokes than make money, and that's really saying something.

Harry, are you by any chance interested in gold?

Yeah, you oughta see the map all over his face!

Yeah.

He's got... tell them about the map you've got all over your face.

Come on, come on.

No. I have a gold mine, see.

And I need $500, which isn't very much.

I need $500 as a backing.

You've got a gold mine, and you need $500?

Is that right?

And it's right out there, just for the taking.

All you need is to take it.

Well, how about that? What did you do?

Put a garbage lid over it and walk away to tell somebody about it?

So we can all walk over and pick up that garbage lid and make ourselves millionaires.

Come on, Neville. Who do you think you're talking to?

I think it would be fun. Let's go get a goldmine and we'll all get rich.

Right. Then we'll go to Hollywood.

Yeah, that's right. We'll all go to Hollywood.

That's terrific. And I'll tell you something.

I'm willing to spend part of it right now if we can think of something to do for some excitement.

Yeah, you fellas must know everything there is in town.

I mean, what's good around town?

What? What? What?

For entertainment. You know, something lively.

Put a little action in the game.

Oh. Well, the best show in town, and if you pardon me, ladies, it's the whorehouse.

Do they let ladies in?

Of course they let ladies in.

They do? Yeah, but they don't let 'em out!

You ready, then?

Why, Harry.

I'm surprised at you.

Wait a second. There are ladies here now.

Well, hell. There's nothing wrong with an orgy.

That's not what's going on now.

Not an orgy. Come on.

You mean, what do you call it?

I know what you mean.

A circ... a circus.

That's it. That's it, listen.

Yes sir. Could you arrange it?

Yes, sir. We can arrange that.

Money is no object.

Like an exhibition.

Right. That's it. You can arrange it, huh?

A circus? Yeah.

That's great.

Do you ladies want to see something like that?

I've always wanted to see what it was like.

There's a lot of romance to them.

Oh, Christ.

There really is.

Boy, you Americans get out of your own country and come down here, you think you look at anything, don't tell me you'd be doing that in River City.

You come down to a foreign country you think you can look at that kind of thing, don't you?

There's got to be some advantage in being here. Right?

All right, money's no object. You know that, right?

Yes, sir.

Okay. Let's drink to that.

To brooms and all the girls that ride 'em. Right?

To all the whores in the world.

To all the small mouths.

That's right!

On her titties.

Excuse me.

Oh, let me help you on with that.

Sure feels good. Now it explains why...

I never understood before why people liked all that.

You know? You know why?

Because people got hair all over their bodies.

Does that feel good?

What the hell are you doing here, man?

You should have had your coat on and be out of here by now.

Wait a second, let me finish this.

Kansas. Huh?

I want to go home now.

What? I want to go home.

Now, look. You haven't been with me all evening now.

You've been ignoring me all evening now.

Don't you start this "I want to go home" stuff.

I don't want them to know what I am.

What are you talking about? Know what you are?

What the hell do they care what you are?

You're with me. I'm paying the bills, you know.

Now you just get your ass out into that car now.

Come on. You straighten up here.

I'd like to see two broads out there!

Listen to me. Goddamnit, listen to me.

Two broads. Listen to me now.

Listen to me, goddamn! All right, Kansas.

I'm not trying to get much attention here.

All right, let's hear it. I was trying to talk, too.

I want to get the goddamn scene together.

Now I got to arrange this business, right, Harry?

That's right. It's all paid for. Right now.

I got to know what the hell... Serious business.

Okay, what do you want to see, damn it?

Two broads!

Okay. Two girls.

Miss Anderson and Mrs Anderson. Is that okay?

Well, I think it's a pretty good deal.

Two girls. Why not?

Maria.

Hey, goddamnit. Now listen to me.

Now Maria, we want two girls now.

I think... I'm just talking, you know, but I just think the ones we'd like would be that girl that stars in that. That singer.

You pointed her out to me.

Wait a second, she was there with Rockwell, man, at the party.

Now that girl, that'll be good.

All right. And okay.

All right. And whoever is with her.

Now is that right? Is that a deal?

You're goddamn right!


How am I doing, Kansas?

Oh yeah, baby!

Oh, shake it, baby!

Shake it! Ohh!


No, no honey. Go away.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear...

You like that?

Oh, I like hair.

Yeah?

I've figured it all out.

It's all hair.

Is that what it is?

You're awful cute, cowboy.

What if I wasn't a cowboy? Would you still like me?

I don't think so.

Harry.

That's it. That's the one.

That's the one I'm trying to get for us.

I'll sing her.

Oh, we got her, boy.

Money's no object, right, Harry?

That's what I said, didn't I?

Money's no object.

Right.

We're family now, ain't we, Harry?

That's for sure. Family now, boy.

Family, eh, Nev!

Hey, we're family now!

Gold mine and everything.

It's all in.

Now that's what I call family.

That's what I call family.

That's family, boy.

Thank you, baby.

Thank you.

♪ And the sun of hope

♪ Rises from the dawn

♪ The light shines bright

♪ On last night's dreams

♪ Maria's dreams

♪ Through jungles, suns and moons

♪ Ricochet her reveries

♪ Flying through hills and mountains

♪ Maria's dreams

♪ They pierce closed hearts

♪ Open closed minds

♪ Reveal the truth to lying men

♪ They course through the land

♪ Crying out for more life

♪ In the years of Maria

♪ The dreams of Maria

♪ She sleeps like the stones

♪ That pave winding roads

♪ But like flowers through the cracks sprout always

♪ The dreams of Maria

This way.

Hurry! Hurry!

Good evening.

Be careful.

I've been waiting for you.

Start it now, Marietta.

Start that machine now.

Start that machine.

What are you doing? Hurry!

I am the Mistress.

I am the Maid.

Now hurry up!

So that means the Mistress and the Maid.

The Mistress and the Maid.

She's playing the Mistress, and then she's playing the Maid.

How's the little lovebird doing?

Oh, wow.

My brassière. Hurry!

This is damn pretty. Damn pretty.

Oh, boy.

Here, fasten it!

Marietta!


Now there it goes.


Goddamn, let's see a little more action here.

My friends are getting bored to hell here.

I want to see a little breast sucking.

Move a little bit.

Ah, come on...

Tell Maria I want to see a little more... - Now! Gringo, shut up!

Well, goddamn get it on!

Which man? Or woman?

What have you got that I haven't got?

Is it what's in your pants, or what is in your pocket?

I want you to know something, boy.

I got plenty in my pants and I got plenty in my pocket.

And I buy this little lady here everything she needs.

Nino, you underprivileged bastard.

You turned her into a whore. That's what you did.

No! No, no, no.

Kansas.

Don't go out there.

Come on. We're having a party, huh?

Come on.

We're having a party.

We don't need that, right? All right? Come on, everybody.

Let's have the party.

Get going.

No, I didn't do anything! I didn't do anything!

I didn't do anything. Oh God, no!


You gotta be kidding!

I mean, I'd have to move out of this house.

We'd have to move out of this house and move in with your parents.

I ain't going to do no foolhardy thing like that.

No, ma'am.

Well, I don't care.

I want the fur coat of Mrs Anderson.


You beat Maria up?

Why you bad boy, you.

Yeah, well, I, you know... How'd you do it?

I just slapped her. Did you hit her with your fist?

No, my hands. I just slapped her real hard. Listen...

I, er...

Look, listen to me for one minute. You know, I have fantasies like that, about... of being beat up.

You ever have a fantasy about women hitting you?

Or do cowboys have fantasies?

I don't think I ever got into any of that.

Yeah, no? No, but listen...

Well, we'll see about all that. Won't we?

Yeah, listen. I...

I gotta buy your fur coat.

I mean it's crazy. It's a long story.

My fur coat?

It's what she wants. That's what she wants.

What she wants?

And I told her...

I told her I'll get it. She wants my fur coat?

Yeah.

Why, that little whore.

And so, I thought that we could help him out, because I thought we could sell him Cress's old mink's fur. I really appreciate it.

That's my granddad's present.

Well, yes. I know it is, baby, but you haven't worn it in about five years and I didn't think you'd mind.

You don't mind do you? I'm in trouble, I'll tell you that.

There's a problem, huh? Oh, boy.

Cress, I already told Kansas that he could have it.

Okay? That's right.

Look, are you going to answer me or not?

Cress, I have already told him we'd do it.

So that's that, and we'll talk about it later.

No!

No!

Isn't that typical? And off she goes with the little dolly.

I didn't want to cause anybody any problems.

I just, I...

I'm sorry you have to see this, Kansas. Okay.

Yeah, look.

Come on, let's, er... we'll be back in a minute.

I'll take him upstairs for the stole.

I certainly appreciate it.

Well, lots of luck.

I'll see you later. I'll be right back.

Hey, Kansas. Huh?

Take off, I'll get you on the rise.

Thank you.

Boy, Harry's really into hunting, isn't he?

Oh yeah.

This place is such a mess.

Harry kills everything.

And he never throws anything away.

I know I saw it up here somewhere.

I saw it about a couple of months ago.

I think it was over in this area somewhere.

Um...

Ah, here it is.

I sure hate to trouble you like this, Mrs Anderson.

Oh that's all right, that's all right.

Oh that's pretty. It's real pretty.

Is this what you have in mind?

That'll be great. Yeah?

That'll be great. She'll be very happy.

You really need this, huh? You really want it?

Oh yes, ma'am. It's going to make her very happy.

What would you do for it?

I'll do anything you ask me, Mrs Anderson.

Would you do anything? Anything at all? Huh?

Nice and soft, isn't it?

Hmm. It feels good.

Yeah? What does that remind you of?

You sure make me hot.

Gets you nice and hot, cowboy.

You'll do anything for it? Would you do anything I told you to?

Yes, ma'am. You'd do anything I told you to?

I said I'll do anything.

All right, then, get down on your knees.

Ah, come on.

Get down on your knees, cowboy! I said get down on your knees.

I want you to beg me for it. Right now!

Well, that's sort of silly, but I...

It's not silly. You do exactly what I tell you to do.

You understand me?

Here I am, ma'am.

You've been a very bad boy, cowboy.

You beat up your whore last night, didn't you?

I lost my hat. That's all right, you leave your hat off.

You leave your hat off when you're begging to a lady.

You understand me? Yes, ma'am.

You do what I tell you to from now on, and we'll get along just fine. Okay?

Okay.

You beat up your whore last night, but you're my whore now.

It's beautiful.

I want you to move everything out of here.

Move everything back to your mother's. All right?

Okay.

Neville and I will go find gold.

Oh, I love, my darling.

There it is, baby.

There it is.

All our lives we've got to take shit and try to make gold out of it.

But by God, we're going for gold this time, Neville.

There it is. You put it in your pocket.

There it is. We're going.

Well, goddamn, my buddy.

Goddamn you, buddy! Goddamn you!

We're going to find it, too.

You know that, don't you? You're damn right.

Let's get it in your pocket.

Let's get the hell out of here. Let's get it.


It's not worth it. It's not commercial.

They'll lose money, as they need to build highways, roads to be able to start this...

They're not going to get their investment fast enough.

He says that you will lose money, because it is not close to a road.

It's too expensive to develop at 250 miles off the road.

You've got to get trucks and equipment in there.

If you go and do it, it's going to cost you at least 500 bucks for a mile of road, and that's $125,000, Neville.

Well, hell! You got a lot of money.

We'll do it together! I'll make you my partner.

We'll all be partners.

Hell, there's enough for everybody there.

That's speculation.

Now, wait. Just wait a minute. Now wait a minute.

You're trying to tell me, that... that dude knows some sons of bitches that'll buy my mine, but you sons of bitches won't help me develop it?

The thing you can do is to sell it over to some big combine, some big mining outfit and make yourself a bundle.

It'll be a long time to get what they invested.

What the hell's he saying?

What's he saying?

He says it is very difficult, because it is very far away from a road.

Twenty years to recover what it will cost you now.

Twenty years to get your money.

If you had to come up with this money, you've got a paying mine.

What are you trying to say, Harry Broomman?

What I'm trying to say is there are a lot of big companies you can sell it to and make yourself a bundle.

Huh? What'd I tell you?

You sons of bitches! You want my mine. Well, you're not going to get my mine.

Nobody's going to get my mine.

Goddamn, Harry.

Who called in the assayer?

You did it, you bastard!

It was our agreement that you pick him out.

You don't think I got gold? I'll show you. Give me your hand.

Give me your hand! Look at this.

You don't think I have gold? I paid her off in gold.

Look at that. I want my money.

Don't you think if he had gold, that I wouldn't be the first guy who would want to jump in here?

Hell, money's my stock in trade, man.

Ever since I got into this broom thing.

Get out of here!

All right, get out!

Come on, everybody get...

Get out of here!

I've heard enough goddamn lemonade.

Get out of here.

Get out of here! Come on, out!

Okay, okay now. I think everybody better leave now.

Just leave me with my boy here.

All right.

You get out and take this hooker with you. Out!

I want my money, gringo!

I want my money!

You'll get your money, baby. Give me my money.

You'll get your money.

Get the hell out of here!

Please, everybody. Okay?

Get her out!

Get her out of here.

Just get out.

Tell him to forget it.

Better leave them alone.

Don't you forget about my money, eh?

All right, all right. Get your ass out of here!

Come on, all right.

We'll get it together now.

Break my ass, will he?

Well, we got it, buddy.

Goddamn it. We got it, we got it, we got it.

We got it, buddy, ain't we?

We found it, didn't we?

Yeah, we found it... Didn't we buddy? Goddamn, we found it.

If we found a hell of a lot more than that, we're friends, you know that?

Yeah. Okay, that's all that really matters.

We found gold, that's more than any of those assholes ever did, and we found it, we ain't ever gonna be rich. We ain't ever gonna be rich, Nev.

But we found it.

Okay?

Shit, man, we're gonna be rich.

We're already rich.

We don't need that stuff.

We found it.

You know...

Oh, God.

When I was a little boy, my old man was a... goddamn... he was a failure.

He was the goddamnedest failure you ever saw in your life.

Bet he was a hell of a nice guy, though.

Here's to your father.

Yeah, here's to all...

Goddamnit.

Yeah, buddy.

Goddamnit.


Goddamn you!

Goddamn you! - Gringo.

Quickly, quickly.

I want the camera here.

Careful with the camera.

Here, a little bit this way.

Sit here, please.

Put the mic on this side.

- Everything's ready, Mr Director. Everything's ready?

To the jail. To the jail.

Now we're going to the jail.

Help him. Take him over there.

Open the door.

People of the community!

What is your verdict?

Don't kill him!

Don't turn him loose!

This American...

Hey, Art!

I mean, he's a bad guy.

This crazy American...

Listen to me!

This man came to steal the sets that belong to us.

Good.

Now...

Action!


Don't kill him!

Don't turn him loose!


I don't want any of this...

Where is she?

I don't have to tell you where she is.

You don't, huh?

No, I don't.

You see this? See this? See this? See this?

I don't have to tell you.

He'll kill me, he'll kill me! Let go of me!

He'll kill me!

You better let go.

I've never been jerked off a horse before, you know?

I'm a stuntman! I'm a stuntman!


♪ Who nailed you up there

♪ And strung you limb from limb?

♪ Who failed to judge you fair

♪ Were you betrayed by a friend?

♪ Where was your father then

♪ Why didn't he set you free?

♪ Were you sacrificed for my sins

♪ And other children like me?

♪ Sympathetic scarecrow ♪


I'm dying.

I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm dying.

And who are you?

Here you go.


One week you've been lying in that bed pissing your pants like a baby.

Yep.

That wound's almost practically dried up.

I'm going to la fiesta.

What fiesta?

The fiesta for the movie.

The beauty contest.

Movie fiesta? What?

The fiesta. Can you not hear the music?

You mean the movies are coming back?

No, no. Look, I don't have time to talk with you right now.

I can't explain.

I don't remember anything.

I... hey, Marie!


Music!


People of the community!

Now I want to present you the most precious part of my movie.

The best part of The Last Movie.

The dead man!

Action!

Fire!

Fire!


Within a man of light, there is only light.

Within a man of darkness, there is only darkness.

Yes, Father.


Hey! Maria, Maria!

Maria!

Why you are crying, my darling?

Come home.

I really remember that kid. I really do. I...

I still...

God, I still see him.

I can't...

That's your problem. You dream.

You know what they want me to do?

They want me to die in the movie like Dean did.

Just like Dean did.

You know, that's what's wrong, is...

'cause we brought the movies, you know.

That's where we made our mistake.

No.

It's not true.

It's just for fun.

Oh, for fun, huh?

Yeah. You say it's for fun and all of them, they all say it's for fun, huh?

And you know what the priest says, don't you?

The damn priest says it's a game!

I'll tell you something.

You know what?

I don't know.

No, listen, man, you...

They're gonna kill me.

Tomorrow, they're gonna kill me.

Hey! Will you kill him if he comes out?

See, they won't shoot you.

Hey. They, hey.

They didn't say that they wouldn't.

They didn't say they would.

No, they didn't say they wouldn't, though.

You give me that fur, Maria.

No!

You want me to die, don't you?

Look!

When you are not so drunk you will see that this is only for fun!

Now, I am tired and I've got to go home!

And if you don't come out now, I don't care!

Would you... Maria! Get me the priest!

Maria! Maria! I want the priest!

I want the priest.

The Padre. I want the priest.

Hey. You're the prince.

This is just for drama. This is just to make symbolic.

It's the game.

Look...

For you.

I don't understand.

I'm talking about me. I'm not talking about no goddamn movie.

Me.

Yo.

I.

I've sinned, Father.

I'm going to confess. Okay?

How have you sinned?

The movies.


People of the community.

Attention, please.

Now...

Quiet now, and listen to the Director.

One moment, gentlemen.

Now we are going to get the cast from this angle.

Okay? Faster, let's go!

Music!

You get closer to him.

No. Get closer to him.

Sir. Hello, hello.

You need to get closer to him.

No! Get closer to him.

Please.

Look, look how straight he is. C'mon, get closer to him.

Nice and sober.

Please, miss.

Come here, gringo, please.

Come here.

Wait a minute, now I'm very happy guy now.

Don't fool around with me.

Okay. - Pay attention.

Here is the rock. Do you see the camera here?

You put it here. The head's here.

Here.

Joy!

Father, I want to talk to the gringo.

I beg you, Father. Just a minute, please.

Speak, speak.

Joy!

You want picture?

No, I don't want your legs. Please.

No, no, no more. Stand in front of the camera. Come on.

Four six Charlie, take three.

Wipe.

Please, please. Come on.

Father, father. One moment.

Just leave this. Just leave this.

Just a moment.

Hey, now wait a second, fellas. I don't even have my fucking scar on.

One moment.

One moment.

Joy!


Moco yoco.

Mr Kansas, everybody's looking.

You know what you should do? To put real blood here.

Real blood. This is dry.

Real blood?

Of course, it's dry.

Of course.

It's dry.

♪ Hollywood, dun dun dun Hollywood ♪ Father, listen to me.

I want to get this thing over with. I got a lot of things I got to do.

Ish me.

Ish me. In the scene...

Ish me? Sounds like "ish me" yama hama hama.

Listen. Huh?

In the scene... What is this "ish me" shit?

Don't touch me.

Oh, Señor Mercado.

He's too much.

The way Americans say, he's too much. I just, um...

Joy! Joy!

♪ Spaces between spaces

♪ And lines between lines

♪ She stands in the doorway

♪ Beyond space and time

♪ And she picks the flowers

♪ Out in the rain and

♪ And she says she loves me

♪ And you know I can't complain

♪ But only when it rains does it rain

♪ And only when it stops it is no more

♪ And only once does the big ship come down

♪ To let those good rats run ashore


♪ A picture of Jesus

♪ Hangs on the wall

♪ There's lines in his eyes now

♪ And trash in the hall

♪ But he'll put on a birthday

♪ And smile at the moon and

♪ And say that he's happy

♪ Because it's over so soon

♪ And only when it rains does it rain

♪ And only when it stops it is no more

♪ And only once does the big ship come down

♪ To let those good rats run ashore


♪ All of them princes

♪ All of them gone

♪ All of them lovers

♪ In search of their own

♪ And you can look to the mountains

♪ And look to the seas, but

♪ Don't you come calling

♪ Cause you won't find me ♪


Let me ask you one serious question, man.

Hmm.

I mean, you would know gold if you saw it.

Hell yes, I would. Wouldn't you?

Hell no, I wouldn't. How the hell would I know it?

Did you see, um... Treasure of the Sierra Madre?

Yeah. Okay.

Did you see Lust for Gold?

Nuh-uh. Okay.

You saw Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Right. All right.

Walter Huston found gold, didn't he? I can find it.

Well, what the hell does that have to do with knowing what it looks like?

I mean, have you ever seen any gold? Have you ever really seen any gold?

You mean like gold nuggets, you mean?

I mean seeing gold, like gold, gold, gold.

Yeah, here, my ring.

No, I mean that comes off the ground, damn it.

It comes right off... No, no.

I never have, but that's not... Well, what's your reference?

I mean, now that... what school did you go to?

I didn't go to school.

I only went to the 8th grade.

Well, I mean, you've read books about it.

I mean, you've... - One book I told you I read about it.

What book?

I can't remember the title.

Oh, come on, man! Now you got to be putting me on now, damn it.

I mean I... I mean, you got mercury with you. Don't you?

Hell, no. What do I need mercury for?

Don't kid me any more now, Neville. Seriously now.

No. I mean you got mercury with you?

No. What do I have to have mercury for?

You pan gold with mercury.

That's what you use when you're panning to separate it.

Walter Huston didn't have mercury, did he?

Oh now, come on. Don't give me any of this movie thing now.

I mean, come on, you got to be... you're teasing me about this.

I mean, you know how to find gold?

Yeah, I know how to find gold.

Well? What do you think I'm doing here?

You just walk out until you see a mountain that has some valleys in it, like little ridges in it, where maybe a river could come out.

Honest to God, I mean...

You may... And you think it's yellow, right? Like your ring.

Is the ring yellow?

I mean you find rings laying all over the ground?

I didn't say you were going to find rings, but you're going to find pieces of gold and then you know it came from up there, up in the mountains, and you just go up, and you get it, and that's it.

Now reassure me.

I know you got to be putting me on. I know you're teasing me.

It's fun and games and all that.

Just tell me.

You know how to find gold?

I know how to find gold.

You know it?

I know just as much as I knew before, maybe more, because you told me about the mercury, which I didn't know before.

Next time I come out I'll bring some mercury, but I don't know what the hell mercury's got to do with it.

Okay, okay. You got a sense of humour. All right.

Which way are we going, tomorrow?

Well,... I mean, the sun comes up, I know, and the moon goes down and all that.

We'll keep heading that way.

We keep heading that way. West.

Keep heading west.

God is everywhere.