The Last of the High Kings (1996) Script

I had it all planned...

college, a place of my own... hang out all day in cafes... with beautiful girls with legs and blond hair... that you could talk to about The Stranglers and Hemingway... and who you could spend loads of time in bed with.

Instead, I've blown my exams.

How absolute was Louis XIV?

Absolutely no idea.

Oh, God. I've ruined my life before it's even started.

They might as well take me out and shoot me.

If I fail I'm gonna have to get a job.

I'm not cut out for that. I'm too young to work.

Your time is up.

THE LAST OF THE HIGH KINGS Now, put down your pens.

Look at them. Jayne Wayne and Romy Thomas... the fruit of the gods.

I'm never gonna slow dance at a moonlit beach and whisper...

'I love you Romy... or Jayne...'

'Whichever one I happen to be dancing with.

No, I'm looking at a life sentence... solitary confinement.

What am I gonna do?

Hey, lads, come on. Get down.

Get off. Please.

Oh, shit!

Hey, lads, get back here.

Come back!

Seventeen years I've been waiting for this day.


The oyster of my life about to open.

Instead, it feels like a badger died in my stomach.

And I've an awful feeling that nothing will ever change.

You, Frankie Griffin, are a useless article.

You don't do a hand's turn from one end of the day to the other.

Look at the state of you. Eyes falling out of your head with the drink.

And the smell of you!

You'd never think of helping out around the place, not in a million years.

What do you think, your shirts and trousers get washed by magic... and march down the path and throw themselves up on the line?

Do you?

And what about these socks I keep finding under your bed?

Stained with what, I'd like to know.

Ray's the only one of you with any decency.

I was too soft to use the wooden spoon on your arse when you were growing up.

I should have had you put to sleep.

Today's the 30th of June.

My exam results should come on the 18th of August.

God, that's not long.

Forty-nine days, then I'm dead.

If I was a real rebel, I wouldn't give a damn.


It's Da.

Come forth, my family. Da.

Come forth... and see what treasures thy father has brought thee.

Nice hat.

For thee. Thanks, Da.

For thou. Look at all this stuff.

By the way, somebody has to fix the gate.

Hey, a space hopper.

Ma, look at this.

Frankie, thou looks perplexed.

Place upon thy cranium this hat and go forth, not fifth.

Da, the play in New York, right?

You wouldn't, by any chance, be goin' away, would you?

Very smart, Frankie.


Look. I'm...

I was going to tell you.

I really was.

I'm sorry. I just...

You're leaving.


It won't be for long this time, I promise.

I want to ask you something. What?

Is Da going away, Frankie?

Yeah, for a while.

'Hands up... and don't even move a little gray whisker or I'll pepper your guts.

'But Patrick Weaselbrain, the meanest, thieving cowpoke of them all... was not coming quietly.

Fiery death spat from his six-gun.

When I was a kid, I used to wish for an ordinary family.

Sometimes I still do.

The only normal one is Noelie who has permanent brain damage... from an illness when he was a baby.

His body will grow up, but not his mind.

He's the only one who doesn't drive me nuts.

My da is an actor... always going abroad for some play somewhere... always looking for his big break into films.

The rest of them share varying degrees of incurable insanity.

It's amazing I turned out okay.

'Sheriff Bart Wyatt had got his man. The end.'

Silence. As foreman of this year's jury...

I have great pleasure in presenting you... with the Golden Dog for Literature.

Par excellence. Outstanding. Congratulations.

Bleeding stupid.

It is not stupid. The boy's a genius, all there is to it.

And that's my mother... Ma. Parnell.


Get off. Come on.

Get off the green. Go on.


Nice space hopper.


Hey, when did he get so cute?

Come in.

I know this is... an important summer for you, Frankie, and...

I'm sorry that I'm going to miss it.

I don't even know if I'm gonna be back for your birthday.

So... So just in case, I...

Happy birthday, my boy.

Thanks. You're welcome.

Now, you're going to university... and you're gonna need spending money, so here's what I suggest.

You get yourself a summer job.

Da, about university...

I don't think my exams went all that well.

Frankie, you'll be fine, terrific. I know it.

I've been thinking. Maybe I should go away, see the world.

No, Frankie. Let the world wait for you.

Why do you always get to go away?

This is something that's very important to me, Frankie.

There's even... There's even talk about a film.

What I'm trying to tell you is I probably won't even get into college.

You know, Frankie...

I remember when I was your age.

I felt exactly the same as you.

So, how did you do?

Oh, I did... I did great. Great.

Well, in English.

Da, please, I'm serious.

I know you are, son.

Look... do you have anything special... lined up for the summer?

Do you have... Do you have a girlfriend, maybe?

Look, Frankie.

'These few precepts...'

In thy memory keep.

This above all: To thine own self be true... for it follows, as the day the night... thou canst not then be... 'False to any man.'

There's special instructions for feeding that fish.

You can't overfeed him or he'll burst.

You'll be wonderful, and so will she.

Oh, it's not like that at all.

I'd give anything if it was you.

Lots of pretty young ones fluttering around you.

I'll miss you.

Take care of yourself, Cathleen. Do you hear me?

And he exits pursued by a bear.Well.

Good-bye, Da.

It wasn't like Da was a whole lot of use for anything when he was at home... but it always seemed empty when he was gone.

Sort of shook the place.

With a wave of his hat, he'd signal that I was once again man of the house.

What that really meant was absolutely nothing.

The important thing was to try to make something out of the summer... before my exam results turned up.

Six weeks and counting.

Let's play football, everybody.

Go fetch, Bobby. All right.

Gallo, you big idiot, what do you think you're like?

Hey, what would you get if you crossed Bobby Gallo with a whale?

What? Elvis Presley.

You, you little shite! Take it back.

Sorry, but Elvis is a has-been. Take it back.

Bowie is way better.- Don't take the Kings name in vain.

Get off me. Who's the greatest?

All right, all right. Say it, say it.

Elvis is the greatest. Truest words you've ever spoken, pal.

He's the greatest man alive. You should learn some respect.

Yeah, and you've got a serious problem. You should get it seen to.

You know something? What?

This had be a great place for a party. Until the tide comes in.

What about the big beach? It's be a great way to pull women.

A monster beach party, acres of chicks.

No dogs allowed.

Get your hole or your money back.

We could show movies up against the cliffs.

It could be amazing.

Go-go dancers, hash cookies.

Which one is he actually going out with?

Jayne, I think.

Romy's a dike. Everyone knows that.

No, she's not. Yeah, she is.

She's not.- You reckon Bobby watches them do it?

They are Protestants. So what?

So they do it like dogs.

You know, from behind.


Come on, Frankie. Pitiful.

Are you guys coming?

Kick the football?

Right, then. Come on.

Frankie, you got a letter. Ma!

Noelie open. Let me open.

It's from Da.

'Dear, Frankie.

I'm writing to you from New York City.

It's 2:00 in the morning and I'm missing you all very much.

I've been thinking about how this is an exciting time in your life.

You stand at one of life's great doorways... a time full of hope and possibility.

I've never been one for giving advice...


'But if I've learned anything, sometimes the closest to us are the ones... who seem to be holding us back.

Try to remember it is out of love, not malice.

Your loving father.

What's he on about? You!

You. Yes, you with the head on you.

Get over here!

How dare you order my child down from her own family wall!

Mrs. Griffin, I have no desire to be confrontational...

This is our wall, and my children have every right... to walk on it whenever they wish.

All I'm saying is that my wife and family deserve a little privacy.

This little girl is walking the wall making gestures at my children.

Now surely you can see... Let me tell you something.

These are Griffin children.

Pure Irish blood descended from the high kings of Ireland.

They can walk their Celtic wall any time they want, day or night.

We're free people now, no thanks to the likes of you.

Why don't you hump off back to Britain?

You seem to be under a misconception as to my nationality.

You're a Protty, aren't you?

I am Protestant. I am not British. Let me tell you something.

My country has been a republic for nearly 30 years... and I'm not about to let our sovereignty be undermined by a bunch of blow-ins.

Madame, I was born and raised in Ireland.

I am Irish through and through.

I am not British, and I did not order this girl down from her precious wall.

I merely requested politely... that she refrain from spying on my family.

Spying? Spying, is it?

Well, all I meant... Oh, yes!

The Brits accusing the Irish of spying.

Well, this is one family you'll never conquer, you Protty bloodsucker.

Go on. Run away.

Run away.

You should be honored to have Griffins walking this wall!

Children, up on the wall.

That's an order.

This is our wall and we're going to walk it.

Up the Republic!

Guess what. A general election.

What?- There's gonna be an election.

Thank you.

Help me down.

Deputy, would you care to comment on the announcement of the election?

This election gives the Irish people a chance to pass judgment... of the last four years of half-baked misgovernment.

You tell him, Jim.

Fianna Fail is ready to get this country moving again.

Moving back to the immigration boats, some might say.

That's a scurrilous remark, only worthy of the outgoing government.

We're going to win this election.

My presence tonight is vital. The whole party hierarchy will be at this meeting.

It could well go on all night sol need to know you'll behave yourself.

I will, Ma.- If Maggie gets up to any high jinks... you'll tell me exactly what happened and with whom.

Do you give me your solemn word? I do.

You must tell me if there are any shenanigans whatsoever.

I, Jimmy Carter, do solemnly swear... to uphold the constitution of this house.

I swear, if they get up to any nonsense, I'll tell you everything.

You'd better.

By the way, when you get back, can me and Peter go camping?

We'll see about that when you make your report.

You want us to snitch on them?- It's not snitching.

Now do you promise? Promise.

Promise. You're the only ones I can trust.

No one's to set foot in this house tonight except family.

Frankie, you got any food in the house?

No. Not unless you brought some.

Thanks, man.

You need that.

Hey, Griffin, this party's a crock. It's useless. You got no chick sat all.

Frankie, is Maggie about? Why?

She's a great girl, Maggie.

Guys, did you call the girls?

What girls? Jayne and Romy.

Did you call any women? He did.

Maggie, give me the phone.


Is Jayne there?- Jayne doesn't live here, Romy does.

It only seems like Jayne lives here.

Sorry. For future reference...

Jayne's the blond and Romy's the one who only comes home when she’s hungry.

I meant to say Romy. Could I speak to Romy, please?

Not at the moment, you can't. She's out.

Might I have the pleasure to know to whom I'm speaking?


It works. Of course it works.

You know the beach party idea?

We should just do it.- You know what I'm going to do?

I'm gonna write to Elvis and invite him over to do a concert.

Bring Elvis to Ireland? Great idea.

I know.

'Dear Mr. Presley.'

I am your biggest fan in Ireland.

'But I'm not the only one.

Under every shamrock leaf, you'll find an Elvis fan.

'With greased-back hair in a little green hat.'

And because leprechauns are so tiny... you could fit five times as many in the average concert hall.

I'm serious.

We know.

Turn it up!

Maggie, wake up.

Could I have a word with you?- What do you want, Davy?

I was just wondering if... you'd like to go out with me?

I already have a boyfriend.

That's okay. I don't mind sharing.

Davy, get lost.- You won't know for sure until you try.

I know you don't mean it.

Oh, shit.

Get down out of there.

I want to talk to Maggie.

I'm staying here until she says she' ll go out with me.

Come down, for Jesus sake, Davy.

I'm not moving, I told you.

Christ! Where's Maggie? Maggie!

Oh, shit.


You pair. Maggie.

Get down off there, you. Maggie!

Get yourself down here fast, boyo.

No use standing in the way of true love.


I hope you're proud of yourself. What do you mean?

All you had to do was to be nice to him.

Davy, come down out of that, you gob shite. I'll catch you.

I'm warning you, Davy Dudley.

You'll be sorry!

If I see your horse's arse of a face here again, I'll have you cremated.

Are you sure she's your ma?

If she was your sister, I could really fancy her.

You can't take your eyes off this place for one minute.

What am I doing? Half of the summer gone already... and nothing to show for it.

No girls, no money and no way out.


I'm collecting for the Labour Party. Any chance for a contribution?

Yeah, sure.

The Labour party.

A bunch of Commie wasters.

Have you no commitment to political reform... or state control of natural resources?

The redistribution of wealth?

Seven percent of the world owns 84% of the capital.

That's right, comrade.


Should I try up at the house?

No, I wouldn't bother.

Well, see you around.

See you.

Frankie, the girl at the gate, who is she?

Her name's Romy Thomas.

Her and the other one she runs around with, all hair and legs.

At least they aren't hairy legs.

Watch it, mister.

You know what them two girls are? Protestants.

You stay away from them.

It's an international conspiracy between Communists and Protestants... and I'm not having you in the middle of it.

Hey, everybody!

Hark, I hear the mighty growl of a Honda 50.

The campers return.

This should be interesting.

Children, go and play upstairs now, immediately!

Keep those heads down.

Hi. This is Peter. Peter, this is my mother.

I think you know the others.

The camping was great. Hi.

I've heard a lot about you.

How dare you! No one carries on like a tart here and gets away with it.

Next time I let you out of my sight it'll be over my dead body.

But Mummy... Don't 'But Mummy' me, Missy!

You've disgraced the family in front of everyone on the road.

And you've mortified your father over in America.

I can assure you, I've only the best intentions toward your daughter.

Absolutely nothing happened.

And what exactly are your intentions, mister?

Do you intend to marry her?

Not this very minute.

I suppose we could live together for a bit, you know... see how we get on.

Get out of my house!

I wouldn't let my daughter marry you if she was pregnant with triplets!

That's the last time I'm ever bringing anyone back to this hole!

I never wanna see any of you again!

Not bad for a first visit. I think she likes him.

Shut up.

Is Frankie sleeping?

I don't like it.

It's only thunder.


Everythings fine. How was the opening?

Oh, Jack, I'm sure they loved you.

It's your father.


Who's coming?

No. Erin and Rainbow?

Well, of course they're welcome to stay.

All right, love.

Yes, they're here. Of course they're behaving themselves.

Hi, Da.

So who's Erin and Rainbow?

Two young ladies of Irish descent... who might require an escort.

Don't worry. It's only a few days. Okay. Here's Ray.


Hi, Da. Yeah, great.

Nothing much. I'm working on a new novel.

I'm so excited to be here.

My father, he produced all the famous Irish plays...

Synge, O'Casey.

I mean, I've heard so much about it here...

I feel like it's my spiritual home.

Well, now, miss, you wouldn’t be the first to feel that way... if you don't mind me saying.

You're from Dublin, obviously.

Well, born, bred and buttered, as a man said.

What part of the States you from yourself?

Milwaukee. We're just here visiting.

Milwaukee. I should've known.

Milwaukee, Massachusetts.

And the lights As they went down on Massachusetts Dublin's the finest city in the world, bar none.

All the writers, playwrights and novelists that come out of it.

Am I right, young sir?

Yeah, right.

I knew most of them myself. Really?

Do you know who Brendan Behan is?

I often had him in the car sitting just where you're sitting.

Vomited in on top of me.

He was a gas ticket. Poor old Brendan.

As for that boozy James Joyce, used to dread having him in the car.

Never had a red cent on him.

Wouldn't give you the steam off his piss, if you'll excuse my French.

James Joyce? The James Joyce was in this car?

Not exactly this car. An earlier model we used to have.

He used to sit in the back there scribbling away.

I says to him, 'What are you writing, Jimmy?'

'A book.' 'What class of a book?'

'A big book.'

He could be very Jesuitical with his responses.

I do a bit of writing myself. Would you like to read some?

No. Are you kidding? I wanna take a piss.

Geez, it must have been a long old flight.

There you are, Jim.

You're looking good.

Rainbow, why did the glowworm feel embarrassed?

Why?- 'Cause it spent 10 minutes...'

Chatting up a cigarette butt.

Big deal. What's yellow and highly dangerous?

Shark-infested custard. Get it?

Yeah, I get it, all right. I wish you were in it.

Could someone pass the ketchup?

Here, Frankie.


I think I feel a novel coming on. Ray.

Okay, John Wayne.

You drink your milk 'cause it's good for you.'

That's amazing.

That's his party piece, isn't it? Frankie, give us a turn there.

Frankie recites poetry. What about playing us a tune?

I'd rather not.

Don't 'I'd rather not' me, mister. Do it for our guests.

No. He's a fine musician.

Please, Frankie?

Come on, Frankie.


Are you a man or a mouse? Come on.

Go on, Frankie.

Frankie, what's it called?

'A Terrible Beauty Is Born.'

You know, Frankie is a direct descendant of the high kings of Tara.

His ancestry goes back to Cormac Mac Art and Brian Boru.

He's got royal blood in his veins, that fella.

You can see it, all right.


Of course, all the great Irish patriots were of noble blood:

Emmet, Wolfe Tone, Parnell, all of them.

The thing is, Erin, one feels different when one is of noble birth.

'No one can ever compare with my first and only Desdemona.'

She won my love forever.

He's real handsome.

What do you think of him back then?

Oh, he was gorgeous.

Oh, my God! That's you. You were really beautiful.

I mean, I didn't know you were an actress.

Alas, Iago, what shall I do to win my lord again?

Dear friend, go to him.

For by this light of heaven, I know not how I lost him.

Here I kneel.

If... If e'er I...

If... If e'er I...

I've forgotten my lines.


He looks a lot like Frankie here. How old was he?

Just 20, but he was mature.

At 20 he was quite a man.

Hey, so is Frankie.

I didn't mean to scare you. That's okay.

You have visitors.

What's this?

Very impressive.

I'll leave you guys to it.

By the way, I'm Erin.

I'm waiting.

As usual.

Bye. See you.

Who's the Yank? Nobody.

Are you burying the baldy fellow? She's all right.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. Jayne and Romy. Isn't it Romy and Jayne?

Who knows? Shut up.

'Monster beach party for you and your friends.'

Saturday night. Which Saturday night?

The Saturday night after we start giving them out.

'Bring your own booze.'

It doesn't say which beach.

It could be any beach.

Oh, shit!

Hang on. What did you say the Yank's name was?

Erin. Erin as in...

As in what?

Erin. Erin is in Elvis Erin Presley.

No, you stupid moron. Erin as in Ireland.

Exactly. Elvis Erin Presley. Ireland is his middle name.

That's Aaron. It's spelled completely different.


So what? It's an omen.

I knew it. He's going to come.

Elvis Ireland Presley.

I tell you who else is coming: Your Ma.

You. You're not looking after that girl.

What's wrong with her? She's a lovely girl.

Not exactly royal blood, but...

Anyway, she's leaving tomorrow. Ma, I'm busy.

Yeah. I don't care how busy, you got a job to do and you'd better do it.

Here, take this and take her out.

I've been telling him we should do this.

You pair aren't invited. I'm not having you getting drunk and ignoring her.

Take her to the pictures, and try not to look so miserable.

By the way, you haven't said which beach.

My friend saw it. She said it was great.

Or we could see The Goodbye Girl. If we have to.

Let's sit downstairs. It's full downstairs.

We'll stand. No, Frankie, here.

Sit down or get off, pal. Look who it is.

Frankie, glad to see you've got a girlfriend. We were starting to worry.

No, this is... Go on. Introduce us.

It's nice to meet you. Where are you guys off to?

Frankie's taking me to see a movie. What are we going to see?

Go and see It's great. Oh, come on.

What about For Whom the Bell Tolls at the I.F.T.?

You and your Hemingway. I love Hemingway.

Let's go and see that. Sure.

Hey, cool charm. What is it?

Oh, that's my gold megaphone. I'm gonna be head cheerleader next year.

Is that when you all dance around before a football match?

Oh, yeah. I saw that on Wicker's World. It looks great.

Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

How do you do it? Give us a demonstration.


Why not? Looks like they could do with a bit of cheering up.

Don't be such a mope. We'd love to see it.

Just make something up.

Frankie, Frankie, he's our man!

If he can't do it, no one can!

Frankie, Frankie, he's the king!

He's the one that makes me sing!

Go, Frankie!


Frankie, it's me.

I've gotta talk to you.

I'm leaving tomorrow and we've gotta talk.

Frankie, it's important, okay?

Please listen to me.

Why are you being like this?

Frankie, you're a really cool guy.

You're gentle, emotional... and intuitive.

You're a real poet-warrior. On top of which, you're pretty cute.

But you're making me feel like I did something wrong.

Where I come from, if you like someone you come out and say it.

And if they don't like you back, they don't treat you like a moron.

I know I come on strong sometimes... but I just have to know how you feel about me.

So how about it?

You're a very nice person.


All right. It's just that...

I don't really...

fancy you.

Was that really that difficult?

I meant what I said.

So did you.

Go get Frankie.

No, don't wake him.

Okay, that's done.

How come by the time I catch on, it's always too late?

Screwing up is the only thing I'm getting better at.

Two weeks left till my exam results.

I'm doomed.

Ma, we're too young.- So what do you want, a medal?

This is a historic day: Your first vote in a general election.

You excited? You're crazy. We can't vote.

Yes, you can.

It's illegal, not to mention completely insane.

Not a tie.

This is a chance to partake in your nation's history.

I falsified documents so you could. I don't want to vote.

You listen to me.

Better men than you have given their lives... for the right to choose their leaders.

Come with me. You're gonna vote for Jim Davern and you're gonna like it.

I think it's a great idea.

Jayne and Romy.

One of us?


Hey, I hear you guys have been talking about a beach party.

No. Yeah.

If you do get it together, we're on. Cool.

All right. We haven't got all day.


You were so obvious. Yeah.

Frankie Griffin, 449.

You know what you have to do.

This is great, isn't it?

Here are the results of the fifth count... from the Dublin Home Constituency.

Martin Tully, Fianna Gail:

9,543 votes.

Brian Door, Labour...

8,500 votes.

James Davern, Fianna Fail...

13,840 votes.

It's a landslide for Jim Davern!

It's a landslide! Oh, look, there's a man who can look lovely for you.

That's our Jim! That's our Jim!

Since when were you a smoker?

Ten or fifteen years.

Give us a light. Haven't got one.

You think you're cool, don't you?

You two!

Get inside.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.

Mrs. Griffin?

Jim's here.

Everyone, come out! Come out now!

I give you our man in Parliament, Deputy Jim Davern!

Thank you. Thanks.

I just wanna say what an honor it is... to be invited to the house of such a great lady... and how pleased I am to see the next generation of Griffins... being raised up to be our future soldiers of destiny.

Makes you want to puke. I already did.

This is a great honor, sir. A great honor.

Oh, I'm sorry. Jim, this is Nelson Fitzgerald... an old friend of the family.

How are you? It's a great honor.

Victory is ours!

Frankie, Ray! Drinks for everyone!

Come on! Drinks. Jim, come and meet everyone.

It's really Jim! He's really here!

Here we are.

For you.

Irish Mist. About an inch.

Malibu. Just a tiny bit at bottom.


We've struck gold.

There's a couple of full ones here.

Poteen. Firewater, moonshine, hooch.

That stuff can drive a man crazy as a cactus.


I don't think it's quite what Ma had in mind.

Da said it was for rubbing on the greyhound.

Ray, my brother, we don't have a greyhound.

It's time... for victory punch.

Don't forget the wine.

That's why we're here. No, please, I can't!

Please, no. It's been too long. Jim, Father.

It's what we came tonight for. We're not leaving till you sing.

Father, I can't. 'A Nation Once Again.' This one's for Jim.

When boyhood fire was in my blood I read of ancient freemen For Greece and Rome who bravely stood Three hundred men and three men And then I prayed I yet might see Our fetters rent in twain And Ireland long a province Be a nation once again Victory punch. Victory punch.

Excuse me, Deputy. A drink for you.

To victory!

You'll never catch us in coalition.

This is just the best.

That hope has shown a far light Nor could love's brightest summer glow outshine

When Elvis comes to Ireland, it'll just make the place.

We'll never look back. It's gonna be amazing.

Our fella's were falling like flies.

Have you ever smelled death in the afternoon?

Colonel Tom Parker. That's who your problem is going to be.

I'm sure he doesn't give a damn about Elvis.

You're absolutely right. You know what he needs? A real manager.

Will you have another?

I know there have been various allegations made about myself.

And I know the names of all the 'allegators.'

We had only three rounds in the wee petrol bomb between us.

I'm telling you, until you've had a gun in your hand, you're still a virgin.

You wouldn't be so smart, sonny, if your mother was in here.

If my mother was in here, you wouldn't be on top of our fridge.

A nation once again When my dear country shall be made A nation once again

Our dear country shall be made A nation once again Oh, I was off.

Shame Monica can't be here. She's not a great one for parties.

There's only one thing I want to know about you, sir.

Did you ever have a gun in your hand?

Why don't you come with me now?

Excuse me. Have you ever had a gun in your hand?

You could be of great importance to the government.

You're a very beautiful woman, Cathleen. Do you know that?

Now, Jim, you've a silver tongue.

If you were my wife, I wouldn’t leave you abandoned and lonely.

A woman of your fiery passions.

Did I ever tell you how much I loved you on the stage?

You signed my program once.

Oh, Jim. Yeah.

Come with me. I need you tonight of all nights.

God, you're magnificent.

You have a lovely wife. We have an open marriage.

Good God, there must be somewhere cozier where we could...

Jim, I don't think you're doing yourself justice.

You should try it sometime. Take a walk on the wild side You know you want me.

Do you mind...


I'm feeling...

Poteen? Why? How could you?

Poisoning my guests? Why? Are you mad?

I'm sorry.

Sorry? This was the happiest night of my life.

My night, and you've ruined it.

I'll never be able to speak to these people again.

It was my idea.

I could've guessed your hand was at the back of this.

How could sons do this to a mother? How could you, Frankie Griffin?

Poor Jim.

'Poor Jim.' At least it stopped him getting his paws all over you.

How dare you!

What'd you do that for?

Ma? Yes, love.

I'm very concerned.

What are you concerned about?- What's gonna happen to Noelie... when I'm not around to look after him?

Oh, sweetheart, don't worry.

Two days left. What is it about time?

Whenever you want it to move quick, it goes slow.

Whenever you want it to go slow, it gallops.

I'm gonna get this party together. At least I'll go out with a bang.

It's just gonna be great.

Yeah, but what if it rains?

Screw the rain. We'll get wet.

Okay, you guys do the music and the lights.

Then all we gotta do is round up all the women we've ever met.

Where have you been? An interview.

For what? A job.

Did you get it? I don't know.

We thought you were going to be a concert promoter.

Get lost.

Now he's here. Hey, what are you gonna do about the party?

I don't know about this party.

I mean, no one is going to come to a party on a beach.

What do you think this is? California?

Could be. Well, it's not.

Hey, the thing is, I really want to organize this.

You gonna help me or not?

Frankie, you couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery.

Oh, yeah? That's pretty good, comin' from you.

How's the Elvis gig comin' along?

Bringing Elvis to Ireland is a better idea than a stupid beach party.

You guys, relax.

The only reason why you want to have this party... is because you have not got the bottle to ask out Jayne Wayne or Romy Thomas.

You can't even make up your mind which one you fancy.

Bullshit. No, it's not bullshit.

We're all supposed to hang around on a freezing beach in case one shows up.

Do you want one of us to help you stick it in?

At least I like girls. At least I don't fancy your mother.

Are you saying I fancy your mother?

Come here. Your ma is a fruitcake...

'like the rest of your frigging family.

Fuck you, Nelson.

Nice one. Jesus Christ.

Frankie, come back. He doesn't mean it.

Tell him you're sorry. I am not sorry.

He has been a mopey pain in the brick all summer, and you know he has.

Frankie, I'm coming to your party.

He's not gonna go into it, is he?

Who gives a shit?

They must be burning gorse or something.

You don't say.

I'm not goin' in there. You don't wanna be nuts.


Well, you big chump, fire away.Deeper.

Does anyone know where this fella lives?

I'll take him.

I won't even ask what you were doing. Okay.

Come on.

You're an idiot. Did you know that? Yeah, I know. Thanks.

'Thanks.' Is that all I get after saving you from those big firemen?

'Are you doing anything later, Jayne?'

Yeah. Did I not say that? No.

That's what I thought I said.- Really?

It's the smoke. Yeah, I know.

So, can you play pool?

Don't worry.

She's always late.


I'm sorry. I got held up. Have you been here long?

No, just got here. All right.

Hiya. Mind if I break?

Go ahead.

Just thought I'd give you a chance.

Sorry. That's okay.

You first.

Nice shot.


Enough is enough. Black in the corner pocket.

Looks like you were snookered.

How about tomorrow?

Yeah, let's. Yeah, let's.

How did you do that?

You better come in.

What?- Have you done this with Bobby?

Bobby doesn't matter.

How come? He's a friend.

Is that it?

Bobby doesn't really like girls.

Not like this, anyway.

You're serious?

It's at the front.

Oh, God.

Romy's gonna kill me.


What's that? Quick, under the bed.

You're kidding. Yeah.

You really had me there.

Come on.


You'll wake everyone.

You okay?

Don't. Just lie here for a bit.

What do you want to do?

Kiss occasionally, have a cuddle.

I mean, from now on.


Wouldn't it be great to do this all the time?

You know, to have a place... so every night we could do whatever we felt like.

You know, no parents to take shit from.

I could get a job, and I'm good around the house.

I could fix things. Wasn't it fantastic?

It was fabulous. Now come on back here and shut up.

I just feel amazing.

Oh. Don't you?

My head's gonna explode.

Am I in love with you? Stop!

So how do you explain any of this? I mean, tell me.

Really, tell me.

Before you go down on one knee, the answer is: Give me a break.

Go home.

What did I do?

You scared the life out of me.

Frankie, where have you been?- Why?

He's dead.

The King.

Elvis Presley.

I'm sorry. Thanks.

What happened? I don't know.

I don't know.

Frankie, I said some stuff that I didn't mean.


There's something important I've got to ask you.

It's the beach party.

It wouldn't be right.

Yeah, no beach party.

I know it means a lot to you.

Forget it. It's over.


I knew you'd understand.

You know...

I just had to tell my friends.

You especially.

I'd better go home.

I'll see you tomorrow.

You know something?

Nothings ever gonna be the same.


Where have you been?

With a friend. Who exactly?

Jayne Wayne.

I might have known.

Not now, Ma.

What do you mean, 'not now'?

When I think of all the noble Irishmen who gave their lives for Ireland... and my son takes up with a devious little Protty bitch.

She's not a bitch.


Ma, you are raving.

Oh, am I? Well, let me tell you something, mister.

You are not running around with a Protestant... as long as you're living under my roof.

I forbid it! I see, I see what it is.

You're possessed. She's taken possession of you.

How dare you walk away from me? Look at you, you filthy thing.

Did you use contraceptives to violate the holy tabernacle of a woman’s body?

Did you commit sex with a Protestant?

Are you finished?

Go and stay with your Protty slut, if she'll have you!

You're no son of mine!


Frankie, I want you to come downstairs.

I'm sorry about last night. Come on, will you?

Your mother asked me to have a chat with you.

How are you?

Don't mind this thing. I'm off duty.

I believe you're a big fan of the Thin Lizzies.

Ma. Please, Frankie.

Just have a quick word with Father Michael, for me.

Please, sit down.

Your mother was telling me you’re feeling a bit off lately.

Can you tell me about it?

I bet you can if you try. Mrs. G.?

If you wouldn't mind?

Go on.

Girls? Is that what it's all about?

I don't know.

Some very strange things seem to happen at night.

Would these things tend to happen when you're having thoughts?

Well, you know?


I think I'm completely possessed.

I just... can't stop myself... thinking of devious little Protestant bitches... with erect nipples... begging me to violate the holy tabernacle of their bodies.

And I can't see any reason not to.

And then the bed starts to shake... and whirl around the room... and I get dizzy, and I start going...

And the dirty Protestant bitch, she's stroking me...

'licking me, grabbing me by the...

Stop right there, mister!

Is this meant to be funny?

You will apologize this instant. I am not apologizing to anyone.

Father, this is not my son talking.

The Protestants have bewitched him.

Hey, you know something? You're right.

But the funny thing is, I'm okay.

All of my friends are okay. Even Jayne Wayne is okay.

There's nothing wrong with the Labour Party... or the British or contraceptives or even Protestants.

They're no better or worse than anyone else.

You don't like it, I'm sorry for you.

Have you forgotten about the famine?

How the Brits starved millions of our innocent people... just so they could make cakes for that fat bitch of a queen across the water?

What about 1916?

They shot down thousands of innocent Irish revolutionaries.

Think of Parnell and Wolfe Tone and poor old Robert Emmet.

And now you, you've become a Protty lover.

Most of the Irish revolutionaries were Protestant.

Emmet, Parnell, Wolfe Tone, all Protestant.

Half of the so-called heroes who you think have noble blood were Protestant.

I suppose Pierce was a Prot, and De Valera.

No, De Valera was American.

That's how he missed getting shot in 1916.

But you wanna know what this is really about?

I'm gonna go out with whoever I want to, and you're not gonna stop me.

Protestant, Catholic, Baptist...

Methodist, Lutheran, Calvinist or Seventh-Day Adventist.

And you know what? I hope I get bewitched by them all.'

I think your exam results have just arrived.

Open it.

They're early.

Time is up now.

He's okay. Come on, get up, Frankie. Come on.

You all right? He's okay.

You passed. You got three honors.

English, French and history.

Well done.

Congratulations, you dolt. It's probably a mistake.

Don't be so rotten. Just kidding.

Frankie passed his exams. He did really well.

I knew you could do it. You're a genius and a high king.


Ma, I meant what I said. I'm not gonna put up with that stuff anymore.

I know, I know. There are plenty of good Protestants.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's a shame they're all dead.

What happened to the priest? Had to run. Urgent exorcism.

Actors? Sure, I've had them all in this car.

Laurence Olivier himself no less... having a right barney with Vivien Leigh right where you're sitting.

Robert Redford, Paul Newman in the same week.

Of course, I do a bit of acting myself.

There he is! Ma!

Go on. Straight through.

Do it, Da!

It's only a gate.


Hiya. I missed you. Welcome home, Sheriff.

Thank you, partner.

Hey, Noelie.

Congratulations. Thanks, Da.

I knew you'd do it.

We've missed you. And I missed you.

So, are you excited about going to college?


I still want to see the world.

You know?

It's all there for you, Frankie.

I'm not sure where to start.

Everythings turned on its head.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Poor old Elvis? End of an era.

I had this party planned, but we had to cancel it.

Nelson's in mourning.

Well, maybe...

You mightn't have a party, but you could have a wake.

That's not a bad idea.

To Elvis Aaron Presley... the greatest singer that ever lived.

Born January 8, 1935, in Tupelo, Mississippi.

Died August 16, 1977... in Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee.

The King is dead.

Long live the King.

Long live the King!

Well, it's one for the money Two for the show Three to get ready Now, go, cat, go But don't you step on my blue suede shoes Well, you can do anything But lay off of my blue suede shoes

Well, it's blue, blue blue suede shoes Blue, blue blue suede shoes Yeah, blue, blue Blue suede shoes, baby Blue, blue, blue suede shoes Well, you can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes

Hi. Hi.

So... what are you gonna do with the rest of your life?

Haven't decided.

College, travel.

Both. How about you?

I'm going to Paris for six months.

Work part-time, study part-time.

Live out all those fantasies of sitting in cafes and reading books.

Sounds great.


Do you wanna dance?


I'll see you. Take it easy.


Look, I just wanna tell you something.

Where I come from, if you like someone... you just tell them.

You don't hide it like you're afraid of something.

You make absolutely sure that person knows exactly how you feel about them.

I like that.

And I like you. A lot.

So you don't wanna dance?

Do you wanna go for a walk?

You sure about this?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Okay then, let's walk.

Paris. That's a great idea.

Why didn't I think of that?