The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper (2005) Script

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a '57 Chevrolet ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle, jingle ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Over them fields we go ♪

♪ Laughing all the way ♪

♪ Bells on Bob... ♪

♪ ...making them spirits bright ♪

♪ What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song ton... ♪

He looks so sad.

Rico!

I want that tree up to muster.

Check!

Kowalski, what's the status on the approved musical selection?

Scheduled to begin... Now.

Excelente! Right on track.

Skipper! Figgy pudding at 1900 hours.

Yule log to commence on my mark.

Engage!

Yule log engaged.

Checkamundo! Skipper!

Eggnog at 2100 hours.

Writing our names in the snow at 2105.

Skipper! What is it, Private?

Ted the polar bear is all alone this holiday, and he seems so sad.

Could we bring him a present to cheer him up?

Kowalski!

Negative, Skipper.

We have four presents, and there are four of us.

We can go and get him something.

Sorry, Private, no can do.

But no one should be sad and alone on Christmas.

Exactly, so throw those troubles away and be Merry.

Pronto! But, Skipper...

That's an order, mister.

All right, boys, stand by for eggnog.

Aye, aye, Skipper. Eggnog!

Private? I'll pass, thank you.

Eggnog, eggnog!

All: Go, go, go, go!

Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!

Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!

Well done, Rico!

That guy can really hold his nog.

2110 hours, boys.

Engage Cranberries.

Rico! Not at the table.

Hold on a second. Something's missing.

Cranberries... check. Eggnog... check.

Give me a head count.

We have three heads, sir.

Where's the Private?

Unknown, sir.

It would appear that he's missing.

Missing? Hoover dam!

Wait. There he is.

He just went to bed.

What the...

What have you done with Private?

Talk, mister!

Skipper! Over here.

I'll deal with you later.

Oh, no! He must be out there all by himself.

He's one of us, men.

You all know the penguin credo.

"Never bathe in hot oil and Bisquick"?

No!

No! That's the walrus credo.

It's "never swim alone."

Private's out there all by himself.

And we never leave one of our own.

Oh. Oh.

Yeah. Now let's go!

Oh.

Oh! That's perfect!

Just the thing for a sad polar bear.

Whoa.

Kowalski?

Analysis.

Adrenalin sweating sardines.

These tracks are fresh, sir.

He's close. I can feel it.

What kind of cut-rate junk is this?

It's lousy workmanship, is what it is. Uh-oh.

We may have a problem.

Junk!

These are no good at all! Junk!

We need to get closer. 10:00, men.

Blend, blend, blend!

Ha! So, this is where you're hiding all the good stuff!

He's in trouble!

Kaboom.

Stand down, soldier.

We're in observation mode.

Now, this is workmanship.

So, where's the goshdarn squeaker on this thing?

It's got to have a squeaker.

Now, that's more like it.

Hey, stupid! I want this one.

Grand Coulee Dam! Where's my change?!

Private's been captured!

Taxi!

Not on my watch, blue hair. Kowalski!

Hey, I'm walking here!

I got a tip for you. Drop dead!

Good evening, ma'am, Merry Christmas to you.

Buzz off!

Oh!

Skipper, how are we gonna get inside?

Kaboom, kaboom.

I got a better idea.

Oh, that's gonna hurt.

Very generous, sir. You have a Merry Christmas.

Hold that elevator!

Skipper!

Private! Step on it, Kowalski.

What comes down must go up.

Skipper.

All right, men, commence Operation: Special Delivery.

Shiitake mushrooms!

No more Mr. Cute-and-cuddly.

Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom!

Rico, enough with the dynamite already.

Oh.

Why does Christmas have to be every year?

What a pain in the...

The tape... it's so sticky.

There we go!

Oh, you'll make such a nice Christmas present for my Mr. Chew.

Oh, now, Mr. Chew, you have to wait until morning to open your present.

Yes, you do.

Who is mommy's big boy?

Who is he?

Nice doggy! Good doggy!

No, good boy.

Down, down. Don't eat me. No.

No, good boy. No. Leave me alone.

Don't eat me! Aah!

Santa Claus has come to town.

Oh, Skipper!

Aaaaaaah!

Help me, guys!

Kowalski, secure the Private.

I'm on it.

Watch your back. Canine... 2:00.

I'm gonna need some cover fire.

Rico!

Kowalski, status? I'm almost there, Skipper.

Let him have it, Rico.

Aaaaaaaah!

Ryan takes the snap. He drops back into the pocket.

Oh! What a hit!

Ryan is down!

Holy butterball! There's a loose ball on the field!

No! Don't eat me!

Kowalski, give me options.

Aah! Aah!

Skipper.

Excelente!

Engage Operation: Stocking Stuffer.

At the 5. Gets into the end zone all by himself!

Ryan drops back and fires a hail Mary downfield.

Oh, he scores... rigby!

Oh, what a play!

High five. Low five.

Down low. Too slow!

I think our work here is done.

Rico!

She didn't see anything.

And that's the game, ladies and gentlemen.

Let's blow this Popsicle stand, boys.

Kaboom?

Yes, Rico. Kaboom.

Come on, boys.

Aah! What is all this?!

Mr. Chew, this is all your fault!

Bad dog!

You are on a big time-out!

Thanks for rescuing me, Skipper.

Think nothing of it, young Private.

It's the least we could do.

You remember the penguin credo.

What does deep-frying in Bisquick have to do with any of this?

Not that one, the other one!

"Never swim alone"!

Alone!

On Christmas! Don't you get it?

Come on, people, do I have to explain this to everybody?

Poor Ted.

He's all alone on Christmas, with no one to swim with.

It's not too late, young Private.

I've got a new plan to fit him in.

All: ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ You guys!

Seriously, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.

Well, there it is, then, Merry Christmas for everyone.

What the... who could that be?

Oh, I hope you don't mind.

I invited a few friends over. What?!

♪ Jingle bells, Monkey smells... ♪

♪ Melman laid an egg... ♪

♪ Marty thinks that Alex stinks... ♪

♪ And the camel says: Oy Vey! ♪