The Maiden Heist (2009) Script

l sincerely apologize for disturbing your afternoon. lf you relax and stay calm, you will all leave here alive.

We have come only for the girl.

Drop your weapons, Roger Barlow.

Today, she will be mine. l'm talking to a dead man. You know that, don't you?

lf l cannot have her...


Okay, we're gonna see some old paintings now that l think you all will really like.

The Lonely Maiden The Lonely Maiden was painted by Marcel de Robert in 1873.

The girl in the painting is the artist's own daughter.

Now, marked by assured brush strokes and the use of fractured light makes this painting a wonderful example of a very brief but influential time period known as the Northern French naturalist movement.

-Northern French naturalist movement. -Northern French...

Ma'am. l don't mean to interrupt, but there are some things l could clear up for the group.

-May l? -Oh, no, l think...

Well, first, The Lonely Maiden was painted in 1875, not 1873.

And the girl in the painting is not the artist's daughter, but in fact a niece from his wife's side.

Also, the painting technically belongs to an offshoot of the Northern French naturalist movement. The post-naturalist movement.

-One of only three works completed. -Yeah. l knew that.

The Lonely Maiden is marked by the subtle use of tone and mood to create a striking image of desperate longing and overwhelming passion.

Sometimes, when you look at her, the way the light glows on her face, the eyes so full of sorrow, you cannot help but ask, ''What is she searching for?

''ls there anything l can do for her?

''ls there anything l can do for her?''

-Okay. Thank you, sir. -Thank you.

That was a nice treat, wasn't it? That was neat.

Good to see you.

She looks kind of fat.

-So, Roger, how was your day? -lt was good. How was yours?

Mine? Mine was better than good.

You know how l've been doing Mondays and Wednesdays down in Margie's shop?

Well, Margie decided they needed another person on Thursdays.

-And who do you think she called? -ls this the same soup we usually have?

-Chicken noodle. -Same brand?

No, they didn't have your brand. Why? ls it bad?

No, it's just different.

Anyway, today alone l did seven colorings and six perms.

-lt's by far the most l have ever done. -The noodles stick together in this kind. l don't know what it is about Thursdays, but l made more money in tips today than l ever have on any Wednesday.

-l was so nervous walking home. -You know, criminals can sense fear.

Well, l hope no one sensed me today. l was nervous.

Every little bit gets us closer to Florida.

Our vacation, Roger. Our vacation.

-Who? -l know you take your job seriously, and that's great, but l really think you need a break.

Someplace warm where you could relax, take your mind off the museum.

You know what happens when a security guard relaxes? l think l have some idea.


Monsieur Barlow, you're supposed to be on break Yo, Mr. Barlow, you're supposed to be on break, man.

Go, get out of here!

Go grab a soda or something, huh?

Okay, but watch out for children. They like to touch things.

-They get too close, you have to be... -Yeah, yeah, trust me. lt's under control.

Look sharp, now. Looks like ''The Man'' just walked in.

-l wonder what they're doing. -You didn't hear?

Man, don't you ever read the bulletin board?

The display should be bold, in your face, grab people by their throats and say, ''l don't care what you think, l am beautiful.

''Do not turn away.'' This middle area, wonderful for the dung sculptures.

The upstairs, perfect for the series of animal genitalia.

Now, for the northern end of the hall...

-Can l help you with something? -Yes, sir. l was wondering, someone told me just now, you're thinking of moving The Lonely Maiden ls that true?

-Who is this? -That would be Barlow, sir.

Security guard, sir.

Well, Mr. Barlow, l don't know what you've heard, but we are not thinking of moving the exhibit.

We are moving the exhibit.

A gallery in Copenhagen made an offer and we accepted.

-Let's go, gentlemen. -Sir! Sir! Why Denmark? Why so far? l'm sorry we didn't consult you.

The visitor will be greeted by a series of spirals here in the northern end of the gallery. lt's that damned new curator. We've had that exhibit 30 years.

People... lt needs to be there.

-Roger, were you wearing a beret again? -No.

But it leaves a big mark on your forehead, and it pushes your hair up in the back. l know you like to wear it when you read your art books. lt doesn't make sense. People love those paintings.

Maybe they'll like the new exhibit.

Roger, maybe you should retire.

You've been at the museum an awfully long time. l can't retire, Rose. What would l do with myself all day?

Roger, you wouldn't do it with yourself. You would do it with me.

We could move out of the city, someplace warm. l don't know.

-Bob. -Hey, Roger.

You thought about moving to Denmark?

A little bit, but l don't think my wife would go for it.

How about you?

Looked into it.

-lt just doesn't seem right. -No. l mean, you stand there, day after day, year after year, and then...

They say she's going to be gone. Just like that.

You know, we don't have to let them leave. l mean, if we're serious, we can just make them ours.

-What are you saying? -What do you think l'm saying? l'm not sure.

For a second, l thought you were suggesting that we steal the paintings.

And if l am?

We're security guards. We're supposed to stop crime.

You don't think this is a crime? Do you know how far Denmark is? l don't know, Charlie.

We're not thieves. And besides, you and me...

l don't see how we could do it.

lt's a silly idea. l shouldn't have brought it up.

-Wait, wait. -l have to go. l have things to do. l have responsibilities. Thanks for the milk.



Steal paintings.

-Hi. -Charles.

Have you thought about what we talked about yesterday?


Okay, maybe a little bit. Why?

Can l show you something?

About nine months ago they started this new program of looking at the security tape from the night before, to make sure that the guards on duty aren't slacking off.

So l volunteered, thinking a few hours of overtime would help.

-Hey, Tony. -Hey, fellows.

His name is George McLendon. He's been a guard for 1 2 years.

Works nights twice a week.

The statue he's looking at is called The Bronze Warrior Artist unknown.

A vivid and exquisite celebration of the male form.

The naked male form.

That's him.

-Excuse me. Hello, how are you? -Good, good. What can l do for you fellows?

My name is Roger Barlow. This is Charles Peterson.

-Hi. -We work at the museum.

-Right, l know, l've seen you around. -Okay, well...



You're on the security tapes.


-Well... -Jesus.

-Where's... Taxi! Taxi! Taxi! -George, it's not what you think.

George, George, George, please.

Listen, l don't know what you think you saw, but l'm a happily married man.

-We're not here to judge you. -No, we just want to talk about your statue.

We just want to talk.

You know they're moving the exhibit, don't you?

That's why we're here.

Can we go somewhere?

The coffee shop?

-Do you know how far Denmark is? -Yes, it's so far away.

-lt's too far. -lt's a really hard language.

Hope you don't mind the mess.

-We don't get very many guests. -That's fine. Did you do all these yourself? l can pretty much do it from memory now.

The hand sketch on the yellow envelope over there is my latest.

-l finished it this morning. -These are amazing.

Thank you.

That must be George.

-Hi, George. -Charles.

-Roger. -Hi, George. l hope you didn't have any trouble finding the place.

-No. -Well, if you can just watch your step.

-Cats, see. -Yeah. Where's the model? lt's over here.

Matisse! Come on, darling.

Bad kitty.

So this is about the best l could do, in terms of setting up a model for us.

You know, this is the main entrance, this is the north entrance, this is the south entrance.

Well, you know the layout. l thought the north entrance would be our best chance. lt's quiet and secluded, so we won't be spotted from the street.

The door has a triple-action security lock, controlled electronically, and there's only one posted guard.

The guard on duty is permitted two five-minute bathroom breaks every three hours We preset the electronic locks at a specified time Make our way down the corridor to the main exhibit hall What about the two interior guards?

l don't know.

Well, we could always use the south entrance.

There's only a guard posted there on the weekends.

The door is an electronically-controlled bolt lock with a magnetic tripwire that is triggered by opening the door.

There's a three-second delay.

So, if we hurry, we could get inside, reset it before it activates What about the motion sensors?

-Well, l hadn't quite worked that out yet. -No, l guess you hadn't.

Gentlemen, l have a question for you.

Are you ready to get serious?

-Watch your step. -You hit me in the face!

-Easy, easy. Use your goggles. -Be careful.

All right, here we are.

This is something else.

-What a lovely evening. -Yeah.

-Wow! Look at that! -Yeah.

Perfect. This is good. This will work.

Are you sure nobody's gonna come up here?

No, no. Nobody else has a key.

Good. All right, gentlemen. l'll go first. When l get down, l'll call for one of you to follow me. And don't worry.

Once you've attached the rope, you won't fall.

You do, however, have to control your speed.

Remember, left hand is the gas, right hand is the brake.

George, where'd you learn how to do this?

Marines. l was in Wave 3 of the Grenada lnvasion.

Wait, wait, wait.

l'm okay. l'm okay.

Charles, you don't care about these flower pots, do you?

My flowers? Oh, dear.

-Well, l guess not. -Okay, who's next?

-Roger. Roger, you're next, okay? -l don't want to do this.

-No, Roger, you've got to. You gotta do it. -Well, why do l have to go first?

Well, 'cause l don't want to go first.

-Why not? -Well, because l'm scared.

-l'm not going. -Yes, you are.

Ladies, can we please get a move on?

He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming.

You're doing fine.

-You sure about this? -Of course l'm sure.

Let her rip, soldier!

-Good luck, Roger. -Okay, here goes.

Roger, you okay? l'm not sure.

You're doing fine, Private. The hard part's behind you.

Just remember, left hand gas, right hand brake.

-l think my hand is slipping. -Which one?


Roger, are you okay? l can't believe it. l'm alive.

Rose, l've been thinking about what you said, you know, about me retiring and us moving somewhere.

Maybe it's not such a bad idea.

Roger, really?

Roger, that's wonderful. l knew, once you wrapped your mind around it, that Florida would be the place for us. All of those beaches and sunshine.

As nice as Florida is, l was thinking Denmark.

-Denmark? -Yeah.

Are you kidding? l realize it's not a conventional choice, but l've heard nice things.

Are there beaches in Denmark? Does it even get warm there?

Not like Florida, no, but probably there's a few weeks a year that are very pleasant. l'm not sure about a beach.

Roger, that sounds like a great place to retire.

l can't wait.

Yeah, well, l thought it might be something different.

-lt's different. -Yeah.

-Where's Charles? -He said he'd be here.

Sorry l'm late. l went to the wrong bench.

-The gentleman over there... -Turn around, turn around.

We have to be extra careful now. No telling who might be watching.

There's a new plan.

We're going to take the pieces during the move.

-But won't there be guards? -We are the guards. Tell him, Roger.

Needlebaum's taking volunteers to work security. lf we volunteer, we'll have perfect access to the pieces.

-How do you know that? -l snuck into his office and read the file.

-You did? -Yeah.

Roger, l'm impressed.

-Thank you, Charlie. -All right.

We should move on. This is starting to look suspicious. l'll keep you men informed on a need-to-know basis.

George, George, wait! Wait!

What is it?

You said we're gonna steal the pieces during the move.

What happens when the crates are opened in Denmark and three pieces are missing?

That's a good point.

Would you please turn around? They're gonna see us.

-Who's ''they''? We're at the park. -Gentlemen...

Gentlemen, let me ask you a question. Do the Communists control Grenada?

l am not that familiar with Grenada. Do they?

Hell no, they don't, and do you know why?

-Because you invaded? -Exactly.

Operation Urgent Fury was a shining beacon of military preparedness.

So when you ask me what happens when three pieces are missing in Denmark, it offends me. lt's like you discount my training. l'm sorry, George. l didn't mean to doubt your training.

-Thank you, l appreciate that. -But seriously, what happens when three pieces are found missing in Denmark?

All right.

Since the phrase ''on a need-to-know basis'' clearly means nothing to you,

we are going to have three perfect fakes made.

But that's not the same, is it? l thought the whole point was to get the real pieces.

-Yes. -No.

No, we're gonna get... We're going to get the real pieces, but we'll exchange the fakes for the originals during the move.

That way, when they open the crates in Denmark, no one's the wiser.

-Charles. Can you handle the paintings? -Well, sure, but what about your statue? l'm not a sculptor. l don't do sculpture. l've had something in the works for quite some time.

A few more adjustments, and it'll be just fine.

You really got this figured out, George.

Operation Urgent Fury, gentlemen.

Operation Urgent Fury.

We sign up to work the move on Friday. l trust you'll be there.

-Charles, that's really good. -Thank you.

-Would you like to see yours? -ls it done?

Well, just a few finishing touches.

-Of course. -Come on.

What do you think?

You don't like it.

l think it's a pretty good likeness, Roger.

Maybe if it had a frame. You could see it a little better...

No, no, it's all wrong. The face, the body, Charles.

-She looks like a pear. -A pear?

-Look at the size of her face, it's huge. -What are you talking about? lt's called ''voluptuous.'' And the hair, it's supposed to be long, flowing, windswept.

What about the glow?

-Charlie, this girl has no glow! -Roger...

-Look at the size of her jaw! -l can only paint what l see, and that's the way l see it!

The jaw, with the hips, what is that?

-l'm not a Xerox machine, Roger! -She looks like a Neanderthal!

-Got a jaw like a Cro-Magnon! -Roger.

-l'm sorry. -l paint the way l feel, and that's the way your woman makes me feel!

But then how come yours is perfect?

Because l've had a lot of practice, that's why. Almost 30 years.

And it's not perfect. lt's not perfect at all. There's a... There's an aura l can't seem to capture. l mean, l've tried. l've tried over and over and over, and l just can't...

lt just eludes me.

Roger, l'm sorry.


Probably my wife. Could we take two?

-George here. -It's Roger l thought l said we'd only use this number for emergencies.

This is an emergency. Charlie couldn't do the painting.

What do you mean he couldn't do it?

Roger, this is a vital part of the plan. Without this, everything falls to pieces!

Trust me, George, it was terrible.

-How did his look? -His looked great.

What am l gonna do, George? l don't know anybody else who paints.

All right, relax, soldier, relax.

Look, the art world has a long tradition of young painters doing forgeries to make ends meet. Some of our greatest artists got their start that way.

And if there's one thing that this city has, it's lots of starving artists.

-lt'll cost you some coin, though. -How much coin? l don't know. A couple of hundred, probably.

-That's a lot of money. -Roger, listen.

You've got to get something done. Otherwise...

Well, the whole mission is fubared Okay, George.

Something l can help you with?

Hi. l'm admiring your work. lt's good, l like it.


How would you feel about doing some work on a kind of commission basis? lt's for my wife. lt's a gift, and it needs to be identical, actual size, with the artist's signature in the exact same place.

-My wife's a stickler for details. -Yeah, l'll bet.

-When do you need it? -Five days.

This mean you'll do it?

Yeah, sure. For 1,000 bucks.

-$500 now, the rest when you pick it up. -But that's expensive.



Got it right here.

Quiet down, please.

Sector 3 will be the first to be moved, starting from the north wall moving south.

The museum has been divided into color-coded sectors, and each painting assigned a number.

Each piece is to be placed in the crate and slot designated by its color code and number, then marked off of a checklist, then double-checked off of a master list.

The rest of the week will be dedicated to the installation of the new exhibit.

Now, the curator has written a few words...

Hello, Rose?

There you are.

l didn't think you were here. l yelled when l came in, but you didn't answer.

There's $800 missing.

Think we've been robbed?

What about the stereo? Did you check the rest of the apartment?

-ls the TV still here? -We weren't robbed, Roger.

That's all that was missing. No more, no less. l came home, l opened the jar to put in my tips from the store

-and do my weekly count. -l thought you did a monthly count.

No, Roger, l do a weekly count. l've always done a weekly count, and this week we're $800 lower than last week.

That's weird.

-l should check the stereo, just in case. -Roger. lf you wanted money, why wouldn't you just ask me?

We would've worked something out. But to steal?

-Why would l take it? -That's what l'd like to know.

You don't gamble.

You don't go to bars. You're not seeing another woman.

How do you know?

All right, Roger, are you seeing another woman?

No, of course not, but how do you know l don't gamble, go to bars?

Maybe l drink and gamble. Maybe that's my thing.

Hey, why am l the one to blame?

Money gets stolen and you automatically accuse me!

How do l know you didn't take the money?

-Me? -Yeah.

How could you, Roger? l'm your wife! Your wife!

-You accused me! -Well, this money, Roger, this money was for us! Together!

To think that l would steal from my own cookie jar!



-Beast! -Rose!

l'm sorry! l didn't mean it.


Come on, Rose.

You know l don't like it when you're mad at me.

Go away, Roger.

Okay, l admit l took the money.

Look, l wasn't gonna say anything, 'cause... lt was supposed to be a surprise, but you kind of forced my hand here.

l'm listening.

Remember how we talked about maybe taking that trip to Florida?


Well, again, it was supposed to be a surprise, but l went to a travel agent and l booked us a trip. l needed the money for a deposit.

We're going to Florida? When?

Well, that's where it gets complicated. l was thinking next week, but...

Our anniversary? Roger, you remembered?

You remembered. l thought you had forgotten. l didn't forget. l was all over it, but then it got complicated.

How complicated?

Remember l told you they're moving the exhibit next week?


They put together a special security crew, and my supervisor says they need me. lt's an important assignment, and...

The whole thing's out of my hands now, but it looks like we have to postpone Florida for another time.

Wait a minute. So we're not going to Florida?

One minute you tell me we're going to Florida, -then you tell me we're not going to Florida? -l hate to disappoint you. Rose! l wasn't going to say anything, 'cause l know how you get your hopes up, but then you noticed the money and... l should talk to that travel agent, get our deposit back.

We're going, we're not going. We're going, we're not going.

We're going, we're going.

Come in.

-You wanted to see me, sir? -Yes. Come in, Roger. Have a seat.

Hi, Roger.

Rose, what are you doing here?

Your lovely wife was just telling me that you're planning on taking a trip next week. ls that right?

Well, there was something l had been planning.

-lt was supposed to be a surprise. -Well, l was just explaining... Sit down. l was just explaining to the lovely Mr. Needlebaum about the surprise.

You know, Roger, working this move isn't mandatory.

You didn't have to volunteer.

-Volunteer? -l understand, Mr. Needlebaum. l guess l got confused. l wasn't quite sure what you meant by ''voluntary.''

Sometimes when people say ''voluntary,'' they mean ''mandatory.''


No, l actually meant voluntary. lf you two are planning a vacation, l'll find somebody to take your place.

Consider it done.

-That's good. -Roger!

So where are you two going?

Roger is taking me to Florida for our anniversary.

You old dog, you. l didn't know you were that romantic.

Florida? What's this thing about Florida? l can't help it. Rose thinks we're going.

-Who's Rose? Your wife? -Yeah.

-Why does she think that? -l told her we were.

-You told her you were going? -lt's a long story!

Did you know about this?

No, l didn't know about it. l just found out. Why are we having this emergency meeting?

Well, Roger, we can't have you going AWOL. Not now.

We've done too much planning. You're gonna go to Needlebaum, you tell him there's been a big misunderstanding.

You're not going on any trip.

You tell him to put you back on the list. He'll understand.

Well, what about Rose? What am l going to tell her?

-Hey, man. l can't complain. l'm all right. -How you doing?

Hey, who's working the move?

Kind of sick of looking at the same old junk around here, huh?

Yeah, it'll be a relief.

Well, take care, fellows.

-Okay, man. -See you.

-Roger, we can't do it without you. -Let me ask you something.

-Who calls the shots in your house? -l do, but she's not going to like this.

She doesn't have to like it. Women respond to authority and leadership.

They may say they don't, but they do.

Your wife responds to that?

-Who? -Yours.

My wife has nothing to do with this. We are talking about his wife.

Come on, man.

-Stand up! Be a man. -l do!

-Charlie, what's with him? -l don't...

Rose, that's the way it's gonna be. We're not going.

That's the way it's gonna be. What? You want to argue with me? Okay.

That's it. That's the way it's going to be. lt's final.

That's it.

Hey, Roger, your guy did a great job.

That looks exactly the same.

There's something missing. The glow. And she's clearly not as lonely in this one.

-Yeah, and mine's missing something, too. -No, no, no, no, no, guys.

Of course they don't look perfect for us.

We've stood in front of the real pieces for months! Years!

We've come to know them in ways that the average person will never understand.

Look at the... Look at the Bronze Warrior Look at the sense of power, the feeling of potency.

The abs. And yet, this is no substitute for the original. lt's not important how they make us feel. What's important is whether some guy in Denmark is going to recognize them as fakes!


-We go? -We go.

It's 640 am, and you're tuned to Boston's All-Talk Radio It's a brisk 44 degrees out there, with lots of sunshine

-Hi, Bob. -A little early, aren't you?

Got a big day.

You know, there's only so much l can say.

-Yeah, so... -Hey! l thought you were... l was looking at... Never mind, never mind. l'm losing my mind!

Woman Reading C-21 .

This one's fine.

Let's carry Mother and Child over...

Looks like this is C-21 .

-Got it. -lt's good.

Watch it.

Who's taking care of...

We're good.

Damn it!

Phil, would you mind finishing these last few for me? l've been at it all day. l need a break.

Sure thing, Roger.

-l'm here. -Charlie. l'm glad to see you.


-What took you so long? -l'm sorry, l couldn't get away.

-How you doing in there? -l'm all right. l bought this for you at the vending machine.

-l thought you might get hungry later. -Roger, l've been trained to endure hardship. ln Nam, soldiers would go for days in the jungle without food. l thought you said you were in the Grenada lnvasion?

No, l'm...

-How's the paintings? -They're right here. Everything's fine.

Let's try this one more time.

Blue Dragon, this is Red Dragon Come in, Blue Dragon

-George, about these code names... -Roger!

-lf we're gonna do this thing, let's do it right. -Yeah.

Blue Dragon, this is Red Dragon Come in, Blue Dragon Copy, Red Dragon This is Blue Dragon

-Affirmative. -Don't forget these.

-Thanks. -Good luck.

-l'll see you tomorrow. -Roger.



-l'll see you tomorrow. -Yeah, yeah. Get this lid on, but be quiet.

Keep it quiet!

Red Dragon. Come in, Red Dragon.

What is it, Blue Dragon?

Red Dragon, it just occurred to me. l don't think l can get you onto the cart. lt's too heavy with you in there.

l'm sorry, it just occurred to me.

-Here, let me... -l've got it.


Come on.

We need somebody... We need somebody else to help.

There's nobody else. Come on.

Now, wait, wait, wait a second.

-Okay... -No, this is no good.

What if we maybe get... Well, we have to get over here.

-What do we do now? -Okay, just push it.

-Okay, okay... -Put it down. Put it down.

-With the arthritis, it's very hard. -lt's all right. What we need to do...

Leverage. We need some sort of a lever.

Okay, okay, okay.

Right. Push.

Just push it.

All right, bring over A-19.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? You guys still got more?

Yes. This one is part of a special collection.

A couple of pieces had to be wrapped separately. lt took a little longer.

-Okay, pops, we'll get it from here. -lt's kind of heavy.

-Hey, Pauly! -Yo!

Come here a minute. Give me a hand with this, would you?

Come on, get over on the end here.

-l can help. -No, no, no, you're all right.

-You just take it easy, pops. -Thanks.

Me and Pauly's got it. Get it.

-Yeah, it's really heavy. -Jesus Christ!

Here, put it down! Put it down! Put it down! Yeah!

-Wow! Yeah. -Get the pallet jack.

-What'd you say was in this? -lt's a special collection. lt's a few different pieces, actually.

-That'll do it. -Thank you. Get somebody else...

-l can help. -No, no, not you! l mean, no offense. l mean, l'm sure you could lift it, but we got guys who do this.

-We're professionals. -l'm not as old as l look. l'm not calling you old. l know l said ''old man,'' l didn't mean ''old man.''

-All right, thank you. Thank you very much. -Sure thing.

-Come to me. -Are you going to put it here in this room? lt's a warehouse, right? That's where we're gonna put it.

-But this room? -Yeah.

-Over here someplace. Good. -Yeah, right in the room.

With the other stuff. We're all set. Thank you very much.

-All set. -Okay. Good, good, good.

-Bye. Thank you. -Thank you.

Down this end.

This is Red Dragon. Start your watches. All clear. l'm coming out now.

Blue Dragon, check.

Yellow Dragon, check.

l'm starting with Yellow Dragon's.

Young Girl With Cats C-09.

Got it.

-l've got her. -That's good

-How does she look? -She looks fine I'm making the switch now

And the cats? What about the cats? Do they look good?

They look fine. Now, will you please shut up and let me work?

Sorry, but be careful, okay? She's very delicate.

One painting down. Seven minutes, 27 seconds.

Blue Dragon, you're up.

The Lonely Maiden B-1 2.

B-1 2. Roger.

-What? -What?

The Lonely Maiden, B-12 B-1 2, l got it.

Okay, Dragons, 21 minutes down. T-minus 34 until the next patrol.

Next up, Bronze Warrior C-22.

C-22 Roger. l mean, l understand. l've got it.

George? George?

George, where are you? George, come in, please

George? George? George!

What's going on? l'm trying to concentrate down here.

-And why aren't you calling me Red Dragon? -l'm sorry. Red Dragon.

We have a Code 3.

Code 3? No, no, no. That guard isn't due for another 1 2 minutes! l know it! l know! l am looking right at him!

-lt's a definite Code 3! -Oh, my God! Where is he?

Sector 3, north hallway!

Hurry, George, hurry! He'll be there in a minute!

Charles, George, what's happening?

It's the patrol guard He's come back early

-What guy? The big guy with the hair? -That new guy He's really mean!

George, he's in the northeast gallery now. Hurry up, George!

He's on his way down, George George, he's getting into the elevator!

George, where are you? He's coming your way! He's off the elevator!

He's coming your way!

Hurry! Hurry!

He's 20 feet away, George! He's 20 feet away!

Hide, George! Hide! Hide! Hide!

George, are you there? George?


Yeah, I'm still here Everything's okay He didn't see me

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay, Dragons, that's it. l'll see you tomorrow morning.

-And Yellow Dragon? -Yes, George?

Don't be late Don't worry, George. l won't.

-Good night, Roger -Good night, Charles.

Back, back, back, back, back. A little more.

-Hey, Roger. -Bob.


l just want to keep on top of this guy...

Red Dragon, Red Dragon Come in, Red Dragon Blue Dragon, what are you doing? We're supposed to suspend communications It's too risky Someone could hear you Listen to me. We have a problem. l don't know which crate you're in.

They took the inventory list, and all the crates look the same.

Relax, Blue Dragon, there's nothing to worry about I noticed it last night What's your current position?

North end of the storeroom. l'm looking at the crates right now.

Good I'm facing north You're looking right at me There's a row of four crates, and then a second row of four crates I'm in the first row, third box from the left Okay, okay, third box from the left. l got you.

Not horses! Oh, dear.

Hey, that looks like B-07.

Right here.

-You sure you got it? -l got it.

-Barlow, what do you got there? -Special collection, sir.

Van 3, Barlow. Van 3.

Oh, no. Come on, horsey. Giddyup. Giddyup!

Hey, Mr. Barlow!

Ain't you supposed to be on vacation?

That got changed.

-You need some help? -No. l'm good, thank you. Fine.

-Hey, Carlos! -No, l'm good.

How about giving my man a hand over here?

Everything's fine.

-We got it, Mr. Barlow. Don't worry about it. -See you later, Donny.

-What? -l'm good. See you later, Donny.

-Keep it real, Mr. Barlow. -You know it.

-What took you so long? -l couldn't help it. Traffic.

Roger, this looks awfully heavy. Can we get some help?

No help. We have to do this ourselves. All we have to do is push.

On the count of three. One, two, three, push. ln you go!

-Let's get out of here! -Okay.

This is Renoir. He likes to ride in the car sometimes.

-Stay behind them. -Okay.

Sorry about banging you around like that, George. l didn't know how else to get you into the van.

-ls that you, Blue Dragon? -lt's me. Yellow Dragon's here, too.

Hi, Red Dragon.

Forget the code names, gentlemen. We did it. We beat them.

We took everything they had to throw at us and we threw it right back at them. l'm really proud to have served with you men. Semper fi.

Semper fi.

-lt does feel pretty good, doesn't it, Roger? -You know, it does. lt really does.

-You can get out now, George. What? -I am out

Look! Look!

Guys! Guys! Get me out Get me out of here!

Get me out of here! Guys! Guys!

-Guys! Wait, wait! Where are you going? -Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Don't leave me! You're leaving me!

-Where are you going, guys? -George, get back in the crate.

Get back in the crate!

How could this have happened? l thought we had it all worked out! l don't know. George, quick question.

When we were back at the warehouse and you said third crate from the left, -was that your left or my left? -My left! My left! Why would it be your left?

-Because it's my left -Oh, my God! This is a disaster!

This is a disaster! The mission's in jeopardy! We don't have a battle plan!

Don't panic! lf you panic, l'll panic.

This is a soldier's worst nightmare, gentlemen!


Calm down, George, we're gonna get you out of there.

We just have to make one quick stop first.

-Stop? -A stop?

-We have to stop at my house. -A stop? What are you talking about?

You can't leave me here! I'm down behind enemy lines! They'll make me talk!

-I don't think I can take torture, guys -l'm sorry about this.

-l'll only be a minute. -I'm sorry, but I'm not the man you think I am

-Keep him company. Make sure... -What are we going to do?

-...he doesn't panic. -l think he's already panicked.

Good point. Make sure he stays in the crate.

-Okay, thanks. -You gotta get me out of here!

-Hi, it's me, Charles. -Charles? Where's Roger?

-Well, he had to go and get his wife. -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! l don't understand. What's his wife have to do with this? l thought l told him to stand up to her!

Rose? Where are you, Rose? l'm in the bedroom, Roger. Where do you think l am?

-l can't stand it when you're late. -What? You're not packed yet?

You were supposed to be here a half an hour ago. l know, l got hung up at work.

But, look, we have to go right now, l'm telling you. Get your things.

-Roger, wait a minute. -ls this everything?

No, it's not... Wait. Roger, don't zip it.

-l'm not finished. -l'm zipping!

Roger, what is going on? Why... Roger, you're making me very nervous.

Why are you acting like this? l'm not... Acting like what? l can't wait to get going. ls there something wrong with that?

Well, how are we getting to the airport?

-l have a friend to drive us. -A friend?

-What friend, Roger? Here. -He's somebody l work with.

He's got a van he likes to drive. Beyond that, it gets complicated, but he's waiting downstairs, so can we go now, please?

-Roger, you're acting very strange. -l'm not strange. You're strange.

-Come on! -Roger, wait!


Say ''beach.''

Okay, take the picture. Take the...

-Please, take the picture! -All right, all right, all right!

Roger, do you have some sort of surprise planned for me?

Yes, that's a good way to put it. Let's go.

Roger, Roger! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Are you sure you want to go to Florida dressed like that?

I'm not panicked I'm a little panicked, but God!

We're gonna get you out, George Don't worry What would you do? l have to think like you.

What would you do?

You gotta get me out of here! Oh, no!

Sorry, l gotta go, George. Bye.

-No, Charles, don't -Over. l'm going, Roger, l'm going! All right.

Roger, careful!

-Roger! -Everything's fine.

-l want you to meet Charles. My wife, Rose. -Hello. lt's a pleasure to meet you.

Roger said that you volunteered to take us to the airport. That's very nice of you.

-Well, l think the plan is... -No, no, no.

Don't explain anything. l know that Roger has a little surprise planned for us.

-l don't want you to ruin it. -Okay, l won't.

-Step on it, Charles. -Yeah, yeah, yes.

Wait, wait, wait.

Why are we stopping here, guys? The airport's over there.

We have to drop the crate off...

-This is cargo. -...and pick up George.

-George? -He's another friend of mine. l told him we'd pick him up.

Who are all these friends of yours? l never met George. l'll be right back. Charles is gonna stay with you.

-We have a plane to catch. -l am? l'll be right back.

-ls this part of the surprise? -ln a way. l've never even heard of George.

Thirty-two years, and all of a sudden he's got all these friends.

-Do you know George? -Yes. l mean, yes. Yes, he's a friend, like Roger said.

A nice guy. A little tense, but then who isn't, right?

-How's it going? You two getting along? -Roger! l hope you realize we are going to miss our plane!

We're fine, Rose. Plenty of time.

We're going to miss our plane.

-George, is that you? -Yes!

Yes, yes, it's me! Get me out of here, Roger!

My legs are falling asleep! l can't feel my toes!

-Okay. Okay, George. -Get me out of here as fast as you can!

Can l help you with something, mister?

Yes, as a matter of fact, you can.

You see, l need to get this crate into that van ASAP.

-And you are? -l work for the museum. l'm a security guard. Some items got sent off when they shouldn't have, -and they sent me to work it out. -Do you have paperwork?

Nobody said anything about paperwork.

Well, then, you don't get no crate. That's how that works.

You see, maybe we can talk about this.

Because l've been sent to pick up this crate. l had a cat when l was a little girl. A white cat.

Her name was Snuggles.

Well, this is Renoir.

Like the painter.

-Roger loves paintings. -l know.

This is ridiculous.


Roger! Roger! What are you doing up here?

What are you doing? l told you to wait in the van! lt is 10:20! We need to go right now!

-Excuse me, miss... -We're going, we're going.

We need to go. Where's your friend George?

You said you were coming up here to get your friend George.

Are you George?

-Who is George? -Sir, please.

Rose, l've got things under control.

-Give me one more minute, l promise you. -Roger, l love surprises, l do. l'm very touched. But we need to... l can't leave here without this crate!

Listen, buddy, l already told you, you're not getting the crate...

One second, please.

Rose, l know how much this trip means to you, and l know l've been acting crazy lately, but it's all going to end soon.

We're gonna make that plane. l just need you to please, please, wait in the van.


We're going to Florida. We're gonna make that plane.

Here's the deal. That's my wife, Rose. ln less than 20 minutes, l promised her we'd be on a plane to Florida. lt's our anniversary. lt'll break her heart if we don't go, but l cannot leave here until l get this crate into that van.

Are you a married man, Leo?

Then you know what l'm talking about. Give me a break. l really do work for the museum. That's my wife. That's my crazy wife.

What a guy!

Why are we turning off here? We need to go to Departures! ls this a shortcut, Roger?

-Yeah. We'll try. We'll try. -We are never going to make it.

We are gonna have to go all the way.

-Pull over here. Right over here. -No, no, don't stop!

-Pull over. -Roger, why are we stopping?

-Hang on, George! -What are we doing?

You're almost free.

Hang on, George!

-What are you doing? -l'm free at last! l'm free!

Why are you naked?

-Hi. -Roger, is this the surprise?

-Turn away! That's my wife. -This is our friend George.

-You must be Rose. -Put your pants on!

-Are we going to Florida? -Guys!

We did it! We did it! l cannot believe we did it!

Yes! We did it!

We did it!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to sunny Miami, Florida, where the local temperature is 86 degrees Please be careful when opening your overhead compartments






Just a minute. Stay there.

Stay right... What?

Are you feeling okay?

Are you all right, Roger?


George? Roger's here.

Roger! Welcome home, man. l think you'll find we've made some improvements.

George and l thought they deserved a more appropriate setting.

She's all yours, Roger.

Charles, l'm gonna put these on down in your apartment.


What the hell?

-Okay. All right. Bye. -Okay.

-Hey, George? -Yeah?

We did good.


-We did good. -We sure did.