The Man from Acapulco (1973) Script

Colonel?

I think I'm on a trail.

Be careful, Rodriguez.

I don't want to lose one of my best agents.

Don't worry .

I don't think they saw me.

I have an unfailing sixth sense for impending danger.

I'm going up, Colonel!

Okay, come on up, I'll wait for you.

They saw me!

I'm lost, Colonel.

Farewell, Colonel!

Hello!

Hello, Rodriguez?


The Magnificent One


Colonel Collins. Pontaubert.

I've come from Mexico, General.

Rodriguez is dead.

Really?

How did it happen?

He was devoured by a shark in a phone booth.

Excuse me?

Sir, in the name of our government, I'm asking you to put Bob St. Clare on this case.

Bob St. Clare?

Is it that serious?

The future of the free world is at stake.

Bob St. Clare is the only secret agent who can solve such a complex situation.

He's in Baghdad.

I will call him immediately .

Hello, my dear Jerome?

Call Baghdad for me, will you?

Bob St. Clare speaking.

Ah yes, General, good morning!

Oh, the usual routine, General.

Did you say eaten by a shark?

And in a phone booth?

Yes, I'll finish the case and come right over.

I have some interesting information about Mexico.

Il can't talk right now.

I'll be waiting at the baggage claim.

My respects, General!

Are you waiting for somebody?

An informer.

Odd that he's not here yet.

Is that him?

Affirmative.


Don't touch the victims, I'll take care of them.

He has an Albanian passport.

Do you speak Albanian, St. Clare?

We should find an interpreter.

We got an Albanian interpreter, but he only speaks Rumanian.

So we had to find a Rumanian, but he only speaks Serbian.

The Serbian only knows Russian, the Russian only Czech.

Luckily, I speak Czech.

We'll lose too much time!

Let's go. Hurry .

What is he saying?

He wants to know how badly he's wounded.

Tell him a splinter passed through his sterno cleidomastoid, and settled in his sphenoid, opposite his fallopian tube.

Who does he work for?

He couldn't finish his sentence.

He said, "I work for cough cough cough."

And he said, "I'm dying! Long live Albania!"

It's over.

We're dealing with a dangerous adversary, St. Clare.

It looks like it, General.

I'm afraid you won't be on vacation anytime soon, dear Bob.

Where did this priest come from?

No idea.

They're everywhere.

Well.

Your plane is in an hour.

We have a contact in Mexico.

Someone will be waiting for you at the Acapulco airport.

How can I spot him?

It's a woman.

Her name is Tatiana.

You'll know her from the baguette she has under her arm.


Good morning.

I was afraid we'd miss each other.

I couldn't find a baguette.

We couldn't have missed each other, Tatiana.

Let's go.

Did they find the shark that ate Rodriguez?

Yes, at the cannery .

And Rodriguez?

Poor old Joe.

Yeah.

What a lovely view.

Take the upper level.


That bride shot at me last night at Orly .

Il have a very sensitive side, you know.

I can't do a thing about it.

It's true, you may laugh, but every time I see a bee Excuse me.

What was I saying? You were speaking of bees.

Oh yes, every time I see a bee bringing pollen from one flower to another, perpetuating life this way, it almost makes me cry .


Another ambush?

No, but it was weird how the truck drew a white line in front of us.

We all make mistakes!


Women like you!

I don't know.

You liar.

What was that? My hollow tooth!

The cyanide pill is gone!

That's the first time that ever happened when I kissed a woman!

That's surprising, where'd it go?

I don't know, I spat it out.

Good, but we must find it!

Wait, I think it fell into the pool.

I'll ask the management to drain and refill the pool.

Bob, let's go to my place.


I'm afraid, Bob.

Don't be afraid, baby, I'm here with you.

No, you're the one who scares me.

What's so scary about me, hmm?

My little pumpkin?

Who was Rodriguez talking to when the shark attacked him in the phone booth?

To Colonel Collins, the military attache of the embassy .

Make an appointment for me with him.


Tatiana, we make a good team.

"I love you, ocean, great like my soul, Your moaning tinged with lucidity stirs a bitter brew."

That's beautiful, who is it?

Me.

Let's run on this beach, completely naked, and I'll lick your salty skin.

Oh, Bob!


Can I clean up your room, Mr. Merlin?

Huh?

Can I clean the room?

Five minutes, Mr s. Berger, I'd like to finish this chapter.

Ah, you got a lot done this morning.

No, I only wrote ten pages. I'm late.


Mozart Electricity . Hush!

It's the electrician, Mr. Merlin.

Oh, finally .

Il'm very pleased to see you, Mr. Boudart!

Good morning.

The bathroom is this way .

Y'know, I've been waiting for you for two weeks.

But the plumber hasn't been here yet?

No, no, I'm also waiting for him.

Hey, I can't do anything if the plumber hasn't come yet.

He just doesn't come.

Listen, you just have to tell him to hurry a little.

I can't do the electrical before the plumbing has been done, you understand?

But he's not coming for another two weeks.

Then it'll be done by June.

June?

It was supposed to be done by December!

Listen, what can I do? Talk to the plumber.

But. . . Listen.

Call me again after the plumber was here, all right?

Bye bye, time is money .

Goodness, just like my niece!

When she called the workers, they told her three months!

Wait, I'll show you.


Ah! Betrayed!

Oh, shit!

Yes?

Nothing, it's this damn machine.

The "t" doesn't work!

Excuse me?

I don't have an "s"!

Ah!

On he_ helicop_er.

On _he helicop_er?

Ye_!

Don' worry, my darling, I'll ge_ u_ ou_ of here!

Still doesn't work?

I'll never make it.

If I don't write at least 15 pages today, I won't make it.

What time is it?

Past nine.

Damn!

You know what, I'll just buy a new machine.

"The number you have dialed. . ."

"Hello, is that y ou, Germaine?"

It's better if I go there myself!


Excuse me.

I'm going down, too.


Would you like to try it?

Yes, if you don't mind.

Go ahead. Thank you, sir.

Tatiana.

Very good, very good!

Ok, we'll deliver it by noon, and we'll pick yours up.

Please make sure, because I have to finish a book by Monday .

So, what do I owe you?

Hey, you can't come behind the counter, my friend!

I'm sorry, uh Would you mind cashing the check a few days from now?

I'm waiting for a payment.

Oh, I'm afraid that doesn't comply with our policy .

Come on, one week?

Please? Thank you.

Are you in movies?


Mr. Charrn can't tolerate delay on his deliveries to the provinces.

We have a big or der for "Panaris aux Canaries" and we can't provide Vesoul. . .

This is Charron Editions. I'll put you through, hold on.

Mr. Merlin? Huh?

Mr. Charron is waiting for y ou.

Ah, tell the bookkeepers I'll come by later on.

Is it about an advance?

Yes, he'd better not refuse it, our good old Charron.

No.

Yes, yes.

Oh no. . . hmmm, under stood.

How can I help? Well, I am. . .

How's Bob St. Clare?

He's in Acapulco.

Oh, I love Acapulco, I'll be spending this winter there.

Have you been?

Not really, you know.

I use my imagination, a good map, some brochures.

I see. How can I help you?

Well, I'm in de. . . Yes?

I'm in debt.

Yes?

And I promised my bank I'd come by later on. . .

Yes.

So, I was thinking, if you could give me a little advance. . .

Mmm.

Excuse me?

No.

Ah.

When are you supposed to deliver the manuscript?

Monday .

So, I'll give you your advance on Monday .

Peanut?

No.

Believe me, you have the better part of the deal, dear Merlin.

Here, look what I do.

I receive these.

Manuscripts.

Twenty a day, a hundred and forty a week.

What am I supposed to do with all this crap?

Believe me, at the end of the day you get more satisf action out of what you do.

You make thousands of people dream.

And this dream, dear Merlin, was created by you.

Because you Because you are a magician, and I am just a vendor.

See you Monday, my friend.

But

Shit. My key .


Never mind, it's your lucky day .

Move!

Perfect.

Okay, let's go.


I had a feeling you were part of this, Karpof.

Your partner is very attractive, dear St. Clare.

Don't you want to introduce me?

Tatiana, let me prevent you from making the aquaintance of one of the dirtiest scumbags I've ever met:

Colonel Karpof, head of the secret service of the People's Republic of Albania.

Oh, I'm flattered, St. Clare.

I'm happy to see you!

I've always considered you a worthy adver sary .

Peanut?

You know what you can do with your frigging peanuts.

St. Clare, we're amongst gentlemen here.

It is totally up to you now if we can be friends, no kidding.

Make a deal with me, and I'll make you the richest man in the world.

What would you think of a little advance of $5 million?

I don't need your blood money, Karpof!

All right, then.

Dear St. Clare, you see this machine?

This container holds concentrated sulfuric acid.

The cord on this pulley is soaked with acid.

In 52 seconds, it'll burn through, which will make this cage snap open, allowing this rat to go into the other cage and eat your butt.

And its teeth are impregnated with cyanide.

Its teeth are impregnated with cyanide?

"Its teeth are impregnated with cyanide"?

No, that would mean that the rat dies.

Oh, this damn rat!

What am I gonna write?

Hmm ah that's it! The rat is rabid!

Okay, the rat is rabid!

You're wasting my time, Karpof.

I'm immune to rabies.

The razor blade.

Maybe you won't be so immune to seeing your friend suffer.

First, I'll cut her left breast.

Bob!

Karpof!

Hi, Dad.

I can't get a thing done.

What a e you doing here?

It's Wednesday, I'm here for lunch.

What?

It's Wednesday, I'm here for lunch.

It's true what time is it? Half past one? Good Lord!

Have you eaten? Well, no, because. . .

Excuse me, I woke up at 5 : 00 this morning.

Are you coming?

How's your mother?

Fine, fine.

And Andre?

The same, you know how he is.

Oh, yes!

And you? Are things working out for you?

Yeah.

Oh, before I forget, your mother called.

She asked me to tell you Wait, what did she say?

About my degree?

Yes, that you have to make it this year. Otherwise Otherwise, what?

Well, why are you laughing?

Oh, nothing.

Come on, tell me what's so funny?

Is it your girlfriend whose left breast is supposed to be cut off for the survival of the free world?

Okay, are you finished?

When are you supposed to send it in?

Monday .

So, when are you going to write your famous great novel?

You used to tell us about the great book that you were going to write.

Yeah well, it won't pay the electric bills or the alimony I send to your mother.

Hey, do you know her? No.

Who is she? I don't know, she's English.

Did you know that I've written 42 of these little books, and in each one of them, there's about four or five good pages.

Forty two times five, almost a book, right?

Well, I'm off.

Take care, big guy, see you Wednesday .

Oh, I'm broke.

Can you give me a hundred bucks?

Here, it's all I have.

Okay, that'll do.

Thanks, see ya. Bye.

Have a good one.

Hey, I like the thing with the left breast.

Not bad at all.

You think so?

Yeah, it's good.

Blood, guts, violence!

Watch out, Bob!

Karpof!

A little peanut, Karpof?

Bob!

Bob!

I'll be right with you.

Not bad, huh?


You and me, come on. Yes!

Have mercy, sir. Please!

Never mind, it's your lucky day .

Move.

Michelangelo Plumbers.

Oh, I'm delighted to see you!

Come in, gentlemen.

If you knew how long I have waited for you.

Was the electrician here? Yes, this morning but He didn't do anything!

Oh, I can't do the plumbing before the wiring is in place.

What if they made an inspection.

No, listen That's my point.

What if they make an inspection?

You're not the one who has to face the consequences.

Not you.

I understand, that's exactly what I told him.

I'm sorry, can't help you.

Let's go, Marcel.

Goodbye.

Take it easy .

I don't believe this.

Can't you do that somewhere else?

Fascists!

Oh, Good Lord!

I'm sorry to disturb you, sir.

Are the plumbers still here?

I heard they were here. My faucet is leaking.

I've waited for them for three weeks.

What? Oh, the plumbers.

Wait.

Hey, wait! Please!

Don't move. I'll bring them right back.

Hey, hey, guys!


"So Bob St. Clare, cunning like a wildcat, escaped Karpof's grip."

Are you okay? Mademoiselle...

The plum. . . plum. . . the pumber. . . in the street. . . I want. . . forgive me. . . it's the. . . cigarettes. . . the plumbers. . . they . . . they . . .

Lay down over here.

Stretch out, your head lowered too.

You smoke too much.

Oh, no, just two or three maximum.

Lay down for five minutes, you'll be fine.

Oh, it's nothing.

You're a novelist, aren't you? Yes, yes.

How many have you written?

Oh, forty two.

Can I take one?

Yes, please, take them all.

"The Red Panic in Alaska"

Thanks for the book, I'll bring it back.


Ciao!


Let me tell you something.

Yes, darling?

I like you.

I liked you from the first moment I saw you.

But it wasn't Bob St. Clare who seduced me.

Of course, I love your muscles, your bright smile, but I know that behind this disguise, there's a man who's timid and shy, with a big heart.

And that's the man you love?

Of course!

Well, that doesn't surprise me, my love.

"Well, that doesn't surprise me, my love.


"And Bob St. Clare, as crafty as a wildcat, escaped from the grip of Karpof."

Fantastic! Oh, did I wake you up?

I'm so sorry, but this is fantastic.

What? Your book!

Already?

I devoured it. Can I have another one?

I'll take this one, and this one, too, if you don't mind!

I'll take the whole stack!

You're not going to read all this!

I sure am! It's very important!

I need to speak to you! When?

Later!

Should I wait for you?

Yes, I'll be down in a little while!

Let's go!


Where have you been, dressed like this?

You're so elegant!

Oh, like a young man!

What time is it?

Past nine, Mr. Merlin.

Nine!

I didn't get anything done the whole night!

What a life.

Here, Mrs. Berger, could you get rid of all this?

And Bob St. Clare?

Did he make it out of the pyramid?

Obviously!

You should rest. This is unreasonable!

Here, plug this in.

Unfortunately, I can't, Mrs. Berger, I need to write 82 pages in two days!

Oh, poor thing!

I'll make you some coffee.

So, what do I write?


Hello?

Yes, Colonel, he's right here.

Bob, it's for you!

Hello?

My respects, Colonel.

I need to see you right away, St. Clare.

No, I'd prefer Mexico, not the embassy .

3 : 00 local time, behind the parking lot.


This is the Colonel's car!

Colonel, can you hear me?

Do you think. . .? You never know.

Colonel?

I hear you clearly .

How do you feel? It is very tight in here.

Don't worry, we'll get you out of there.

No, St. Clare, it's over for me.

The pain is too much, and I'm usually a tough guy .

I know you are, Colonel.

Farewell, St. Clare, continue on your mission!

Farewell, Colonel!

He was a hero.

He's dead, too old for such a shock.

I'm tapping in the dark.

Excuse me?

I'm just writing whatever!

But why?

Because I've had it, Mrs. Berger!

Yes, microfilm, teargas, double agents, I've had enough of it!

The KGB, cold wars, the shadow soldiers, enough, enough!

How you doing?

Oh they're going to publish this one, aren't they?

Are you serious? They better!

It has sex, violence everything!

What's gonna happen after that?

The terrible Karpof will install ramps with explosives in Mexico, Mrs. Berger!

Nuclear stuff?

Mmm hmm, but let me assure you, Bob St. Clare will save the free world, once again.

Is Mr. Merlin in?

This damn water heater!

Oops, sorry!

Did you read my masterpieces?

All of them! I didn't sleep a wink.

Extraordinary!

You really think they're good? Oh, I didn't say that.

That's comforting!

Good, bad, that's not what interests me.

This kind of literature, for it to be effective, needs to be read quickly without repetition.

Exactly, that's the whole point.

It's not literature.

It's the expression of desire and the rush of power that we all carry inside of us.

Who are your readers?

The sailor about to go to sea, the soldier in camp, the business traveler, the girl from the provinces.

I would like to understand the basic motivation What?

I want to understand the basic motivations of your audience

12 million readers!

Wait, wait!

What is it that you do exactly?

Socio. Pardon me?

Sociology . I'm at the C. I .S.

Oh, I see!

The adventures of your heroes are universal narrative types.

The net of their inner articulation Tell me, would you like a drink?

The relations between them define the limits of all possible experiences.

Scotch, Martini, port?

A sip of port.

Based on your narrative, one could draw the bottom line of the classification of this genre of storytelling, almost archetypical You're sure you don't want a scotch?

No, I'd prefer the Martini The stereotype of the guilty individual in the collective I need to buy more Martini, I'm out. How about a scotch?

No, thanks. Do you understand?

Literary analysis draws its fertility from a root in an anthropological standpoint, which Hey, so tell me something.

I'm convinced that the fundamental studies and ethnic impulses Be quiet.

What? Be quiet!

Now that you're listening, I'd like to tell you something.

I put you in my novel.

Yeah, in this book that I'm writing now, the heroine's name is Tatiana.

She's very beautiful, and she looks just like you.

Right now, for example, you're on the Pacific Ocean, in a bungalow, and Bob St. Clare is trying to make his big move on you.

You know his reputation, and so you're skeptical.

I'm skeptical?

Well, Tatiana is.

My name is Christine.


And for you, my dear?

Kummel? Sake? Tokay?

Guava liqueur? Fermented papaya?

A drop of sake.

No!

I will make love to you, little girl.

Bob!

I have to leave now!

No, wait!

Please forgive me. May I take the books?

I'll bring 'em back.

Oh, I'm a fool!

For a moment, I thought I was in Mexico!

Really, well, we're not.

Nor are you Bob St. Clare.

What does he have to do with it?


What's happening?

High voltage shock!

220 volts, pretty strong!

How about you stop playing with that all the time?

Excuse me, I wanted to dim the light for a little ambience.

Turn it off! Hurry!

To hell with this!

What an idiot!


InternationaI Center for Sociology Boom! Bang! Chock! Buh boom! or more sophisticated: Pling! Pow! Bam bam!

That's the interpretation from a psychological and psychoanalytical standpoint of Bob St. Clare's attitude towards Karpof.

You make me laugh, poor Christine!

And I'm sick of your attitude.

I can make discoveries, too, you know!

Bob St. Clare, a discovery?

Fine, I'll write this thesis by my self!

Go ahead, do it. We'll all read it.

It'll be worth at least a good laugh!

I despise you, Pilu.

Do you know Merlin? No.

What the hell is this guy doing?

I need numbers! Numbers?

Yes, who's in charge of that?

I don't know.

Good morning, children, what's going on?

This lady is doing research.

Research?

All right, come in, miss.

I don't want to be disturbed.

Now you know everything.

That's very interesting, mademoiselle!

Your idea very interesting.

It's true, why despise popular novels?

Millions of readers buy my books every week.

When I think of my huge responsibilities, I must admit, they scare me.

Yes, but how did you find Francois Merlin?

Merlin, he's just one of my writers.

My thesis is on him, specifically .

I don't understand you.

I don't want to impose myself, but I'm sure your thesis would gain depth if it was on a man who's at the core of the problem.

Who would that be?

Me, the editor.

And Francois Merlin?

Listen, young lady, I'll tell you what I think of your friend Merlin.

Sure, he's a nice guy, but he's lazy!


Good evening.

Good evening!

How is it going?

Well, I've written 28 pages.

At what point are you now?

Hang on, I don't remember.

Here!

"He bends over Tatiana, "her heart pounding behind her naked breast.

"Bob's strong fingers smoothly run over her radiant skin.

"She moans, her hoarse voice sounding distorted with pain, and the highest peaks of pleasure at the same time."

Excuse me, the telephone!

Hello?

Did I wake you up?

You know, I've been thinking about our conversation a lot.

I'm so excited! You're too kind.

We need to talk about this in detail.

Let's have lunch tomorrow.

Oh, I can't, I have a class 'til 1 : 00.

One? Perfect! I'll pick you up!

But, I'm not sure Good! See you then!

Georges! Georges!

How's it going with the sociologist?

Give me 24 hours.


It's amazing how your skin goes well with Bach.

Handel.

That's direct, isn't it?

Hey, that's what people want!

It is very good.

"His supple muscles move under the silk of the kimono."

Alright, enough

"He walks towards her, his look, wild and ruthless "

Okay, enough

"His kimono slips down, uncovering his virility in all its pride."

Well, it's true, that sentence is a little daring.

I actually want to rewrite the love scene.

Really, I'll make it more honest and moving.

We could give some real tenderness, some real warmth to this imbecile!

Who do you mean?

Bob St. Clare, of course!

He's always pretending, this fool, always the same show!

"Your skin goes great with Bach."

What the heck does that mean?

For example, he could say, "I'm lonely ."

That's it!

"Tatiana, I am lonely, I'm 40 years old and I've always been lonely ."

Hey, that's not funny, you know!

"And the moment I saw you, I said to my self, "she's the one I've been waiting for.

"Tatiana. . .

I love you."

Oh no, totally wrong!

You're completely out of it!

Bob St. Clare is the exact opposite of a sentimental man!

Good morning, Mr. Merlin!

Oh, I'm sorry, you're still here!

I'll leave you alone.

No, I'm leaving anyway .

Do you hear me?

That's who St. Clare is, and no one else!

Ah, Bob St. Clare! What a man!

See?

That's your audience speaking!

Bob St. Clare is a wildcat! A real man!

That's how we like him, isn't it, madame?

That's right!

Goodbye, work hard!

You see, this young lady says exactly what my niece says.

Okay listen, Mrs. Berger, go clean the bathroom, and thoroughly, please!

I can't stand all this nonsense about Bob St. Clare anymore!

A wildcat! A big savage in a kimono!

Let's see what he thinks of this, the great athlete!

Happy?

Yeah.

Trying to start a fight?

Wait a second.

Turn around.

Hello, yes?

Bob, It's for you.

Hello?

Hello, St. Clare!

I'm sorry, I have a very bad reception.

Shut up, already!!

I'm listening.

I'd like to make you a deal, dear St. Clare.

Can we meet on the cliffroad in half an hour?

Perfect, see you there!

Eat, eat your treats.

You're not spending the night with me?

Excuse me, baby, but l have more important things to do.


Down there, on your right, don't accelerate!

Let go, get your foot off the brakes!


( speaking Albanian )


Christine!

Good morning, sir!

"Georges", please! We're having lunch together.

Where?

Anywhere. Lasserre, Le Tour d'Argent I don't have the time!

How about some fries at Cintra's snackbar?

No, I only have half an hour.

I need to go to medico sociology class, next door.

Good idea! I'll walk you!

Thank you.

Let me tell you that I started putting things in place yesterday .

I've reunited all my contacts, they're waiting to meet you!

I'll introduce you to the people in all the highest positions.

So, let's start tonight

We'll have dinner at my house, in Saint Cloud.

Thanks.

Shrimp, barbecue, sangria, completely unpr etentious.

Come quick, mademoiselle, quick!

What happened?

It's terrible! A misfortune! Come look!

Where is he?

He fell! lt's horrible!

He fell 200 feet!

Not there in the ocean, not here!

Bob St. Clare! He fell into the ocean!

Look, here, read this!


For God's sake, Bob! Everybody thinks you're dead!

The Pentagon is shocked!

All of Paris is in mourning!

Panic in Beijing!

You have fever?

Yes and that's not all.

What's that?

Malaria!

What can be done?

We have to wait for it to spread.

What time is it? 9: 00.

We have to go!

Where?

To soak it in warm water.

Every half hour, the doctor told me.

But what about Karpof?

Albania? The bombs? The Chinese?

I'd like to get my treatment first, if you don't mind!

My finger hurts!

Ouch!

Come on, stop being such an idiot!

He's lost his mind!

Oh, that's not all, keep reading!

No, I've had enough!

Wait, here, in the hospital, Bob St. Clare gets gangrene, they amputate his leg, but it's too late.

His heart gives up and the next day, they take him to the morgue!

Where is he now?

In the morgue!

No, Merlin, where is he?

Great!

We're winning!

No, you're not! Objection! Come see for your self!

That's not fair! It's our score, that's obvious!

You can't write this! It's ridiculous!

What do you mean, I can't?

I am the author, am I not? I'll write whatever I please!

Oh, this Bob St. Clare!

For ten years, that brute has overpowered and irritated me!

Today, the final vengeance!

He's dead! And I'm alive!

Ah, my friends! Fresh air! Sunshine! Sports!

You took my ball!

Are you calling me a thief? Take that back immediately!

I didn't say anything! That's better.

Any comments?

I don't want to be stepped on my whole life!

No more forced labor!

I won't write another word!

I'll throw the typewriter into the trash!

Finally, a free man! Right, my sweet muffin?

Christine?

Christine!


Let me go. Never.

You're hurting me. Even better!

You ugly brute.

I thought you liked savages.

You're disgusting!

To think I wanted to write my thesis about you.

Nobody cares about your thesis anyway .

What?


So what are you gonna do now?

I'll leave Paris.

I'll go to the Auvergne, maybe the Far East.

You you'll never write again?

Never!

What a shame.

I liked Tatiana.

Me, too.

I just had to go down one floor and I found my self in Mexico.

All this is your fault.

My fault?

Yes, you and your theory of Bob Saint Clare, your ideal man!

My ideal man? No, not at all.

I love sensitivity and tact in a man!

Like my type.

Your type, exactly!

Come on! Where to?

I'll start again!

I'll erase all this and start over.

Give me any random title and I'll write a new book in just two days!

Oh, Christine, at this rate, that's three books every week!

Finish this one first!

Yes, you're right, where were we?

Bob St. Clare had a meeting with Karpof.

Yes, that's it.

He leaves Tatiana.

Francois.


You're out of coffee. I'll go get some.

No, please. Yes, I'll be right back!

Christine, you're not ready yet?

Oh monsieur, the dinner!

Well, tonight isn't really good for me, after all.

Don't be a party pooper!

We're late already!

By the time we arrive in St. Cloud All right, you go ahead!

I got some apples for you.

And you were out of jelly, so I bought some honey .

Oh, I'm so clumsy .

I broke a glass, I'm sorry!


You're leaving?

Yes.

You're not staying for dinner?

No, I prepared everything for you.

The coffee's ready .

Where are you going?

To dinner. Where?

At your editor's house.

Charron? You know him?

Yes no, not really .

Since when? Since yesterday .

It's about my thesis, I'll explain it to you later.

He's very nice, by the way .

All right, go, I understand, good night!

Are you upset? No.


Give me some time to get used to it.

I'm a little old fashioned, you know.

Hello?

What's happening?

We're waiting for you.

Oh, well, I'm not coming.

No! Don't do this to me!

Do you know who's here?

Samuel Witowski, the author of "Culture and Revolution".

A genius! A pioneer!

He's eager to meet you.

Oh, I'm really sorry, I can't, I have to get up early tomorrow.

As you wish.

But I'm very disappointed. Good night!


Shhhh!

Shhhh!

Mr. Charron.

What a surprise, huh?

Come in!

You weren't sleeping, were you?

What's going on?

Sam!

He'll be in Paris for two days.

You'll see, he's such an exciting person!

By the way, Christine, I'd like to ask you a question, please tell me honestly Here's my answer!

I'd rather die!

". . .ripped off her dress with a violent gesture. . ."

There!


What are you doing here, old man?

Oh Francois!

Answer me, what are you doing on the roof?

Why did you let me leave? Hey, listen!

You're sleepwalking? Where are you going?

Out, monsieur! It's this way .

You know, I'm expecting your novel tomorrow morning.

Looking for inspiration in the gutters? Get to work!

Your slippers!

He forgot his slippers! He can't work without slippers.

Hey, leave me alone!

Ow, my eye!

Help me!

That bitch!

Your wig!

Who cares about my wig?

Francois, open up! You forgot your slippers!

Leave me alone!

Open up, I want to explain this to you!

I'm working!

Francois!


( speaking Albanian )

One more time?

( speaking Albanian )

Gentlemen, I have just been raped by the head of the Albanian Secret Service!


( Speaking Albanian )

Commander, I violently protest!

Your men behaved in an unacceptable manner just now, in front of my house!

Fire!

Ah, Bob, finally!

I don't want him in here. He's contagious.

What is it this time? The mumps.

Move, forwards!

Ah, "forward, " I said!

Couldn't you be more careful?

Are the mumps serious?

Well, it's kind of annoying for an adult.

Yes, I'm impotent! So what?

Cease fire!

Karpov!!

Here I am.

It's between us now, Karpov!


You know I like you, don't you!

Really?


There!


Great, Merlin!

You let your fans sleep in the stairway!

Shut up!

Oh, amongst gentlemen!


Wait.

Hey Charron!

Wait!

You forgot something!