The Minion (1998) Script

[News Anchor] And this is WKBR with the Big Apple weather Break for December 22nd, 1999.

Sorry, folks, not much of a break at all.

The outlook is extremely warm with scattered pockets of precipitation, no chance of a white Christmas this year.

It's the warmest ever recorded in New York City.

The temperature right now in Central Park is 76 degrees, and I personally know a whole bunch of folks who'll be singing carols on the beach at Coney Island, imagine that.

Many ecologists are attributing the weather to the greenhouse effect.

Record highs have also been recorded in Stockholm, Moscow, London, Beijing, and Tokyo, with a number of tropical storm fronts developing in patterns unheard of for this time of year.


No , I don't have a problem, you're my problem.

Merry Christmas. Go easy on the stuffing, eh?

Let me tell you something, if I didn't have you, I wouldn't have any problems at all.

Speaking of problems, look at this mess, eh?

Oh, man.

See, eh?

See, what did I tell you?

These water mains, they're antiquated!

Yeah, yeah. There.

It was bound to happen eventually.

Just fix it, Giannelli.

It's Niagara Falls here it's pushing me way behind schedule.

Pushing you behind schedule, well what about me?

(both scream)

(both cough and groan) (dark atmospheric tones)

Friggin' knees.

Jesus. (Giannelli groans)

Are you okay?

That's it.

That is it!

I'm callin' the union, man.

Unsafe working conditions.

[Co-Worker] Come on, hold.

(grunts)

[Giannelli] What is this?

[Co-Worker] Just watch your step.

What is all this stuff? I don't know.

Some kind of, uh, kind of Indian burial ground?

I don't know.

Hey.

We got an archeologist on call for this sort of thing.

Wait, wait, wait!

Wait.

You mean that hellcat Goodleaf.

Hey, look.

You call her, before you can say "finders keepers," any valuables we find down here are gone, rotting in some museum, huh?

I don't know, man.

Karen ain't so bad.

I kinda like her.

Hey.

Think of this as like a Christmas bonus, huh?

[Co-Worker] I don't know.

Huh?

Yeah, okay.

[Giannelli] Whoa.

It goes on forever.

It looks like nobody's been here for years.

[Co-Worker] It sure is creepy down here.

[Giannelli] Creepy doesn't quite cover it.

Oh my god.

Giannelli.

Giannelli. What?

Get some help down here, now.

[Anchor] This is worldwide news, Philip Preston reporting.

As we fade into the millennium's final Christmas, it appears the message of peace has not been heard in many corners of the globe.

More on the world's hotspots in a moment, but first we go to Rachel Savage at our New York affiliate for that special report on an unusual archeological discovery.

Rachel? Thank you, Phil.

Well, members of the press have not been allowed in the tunnel as yet due to city regulations.

The municipal archeologist Dr. Karen Goodleaf must examine and secure the site before any civilians will be allowed on the premises, but I have to tell you, Phil, that there have been wild rumors flying around about the nature of the archeological find.

You'd assume that we would be talking about a Native-American Indian burial site, considering the history of New York City, but Six O'Clock Eye Witness News actually spoke to one of two workers who literally fell into the chamber and he swears, and again this had not been confirmed, that what he saw was a skeleton, armed with a large sword and wearing some sort of garment with big red cross emblazoned across the chest.

Some of the artifacts the same worked described sound uniquely non-Indian and more Christian in their nature.

Like something you would expect to find in an excavation near the Holy Land.

Again, and it could be just a rumor, we have heard reports that the site may be more than 1,000-years-old.

These findings could mean that there is finally evidence that someone before Christopher Columbus discovered America.

Well that's all for now, back to you, Phil.

[Phil] Thank you, Rachel, in other news the ongo--

Forgive me, Master Gregor.

I did not expect anyone would be up so early.

[Gregor] Wake Lukas and get him on the next plane to New York.

(moody rock music)


[Guard] Merry Christmas.

See you later.

(loud roars)

Some evidence of an Iroquoian presence.

Over there.

But this site is too elaborate.

My guess is that there's a good deal of influence from the Adena culture, which disappeared around 200 AD.

Dante.

But the shards indicate a more recent occupation.

I'm holding a specimen which appears to depict a windigo, a mother of all monsters.

But that wasn't part of the Adena mythology, it was Algonquin, and they peopled this area as late as the Dutch colonists.

Okay.

This site was used by a succession of nations, it seems, and I think it's more than a burial chamber.

The antechamber gives way to the usual main tomb, and...

My god.

Doctor, are you okay?

This is not Iroquoian.

It's not even continental.


It can't be.

It's impossible.

The writing.

Seventh, possibly even sixth century AD.

This is, I think it's Hibernian Celt.

That doesn't sound like any Indian tribe I've heard of.

It's not.

You're a long way from home, stranger.

(plane engine roars)

[Radio DJ] Yo yo, this WKBR, Merry Christmas.

Everything crisp, millennium is just about to roll over right here now but here in our fair city, it look like the Big Apple not big enough to go around.

(car horns honk)

So.

Where did you fly in from?

Is it your first time in New York?

Ah, it's okay if you don't wanna talk.

You know, I was just tryin' to be friendly.

(horn honks)

You know.

Brotherhood of man, and all that shit.

Look at this fuckin' traffic.

You'd make better time walkin'.

You in a hurry?

Be out in a sec, Giannelli.

Doc, we're lockin' up.

So uh,

what exactly is he?

I think he's an Irish monk.

A monk with a sword?

Well figures, if he was stationed in New York. (chuckles)

(Karen chuckles)

So uh, what's with the red cross?

Yeah.

That's the problem, his tunic.

It doesn't make any sense.

It's Knights Templar.

I've never seen a Knights Templar west of the European continent.

What's he doing here?

You know, the MTA Christmas party's tonight.

I refuse to celebrate a holiday designed by the church and Madison Avenue for the express purpose of making single people feel bad about their life choices.

Oh well, I was wondering, if you don't think I'm out of line for asking, what say we check it out, you know, drink some egg nog, open some presents?

You're not out of line, and thanks for asking, but uh, I got all my presents right here.

Hey, doc.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, too.

(wild animal squawks)

(light bulb zaps)

Hey, Merry Christmas, Tony!

Say you later, buddy.

The tunic is double-woven Sardinian cut, emblazoned with a red cross.

A talisman, or amulet,

is inscribed with Ogham script.

Definitely Celtic.

Interesting.

The posterior is covered in wax.

It may be hollow.

(animal roars)

Okay, Santa, let this be some, huge career-making archeological find.

Okay?

Here goes.

(strong winds)

(wild animals squawks)

(roars)

(roars)

(thunder cracks)

Templar.

You have failed.

(roars)

(moody rock music)

[Lukas] Don't look in his eyes!

(roars) (thuds)

(zaps) (screams)

(mumbles in foreign language)

(mumbles in foreign language)

Hey, hey!

Wait.

You can't take that, that's mine.

Who are you and what do you want?

Shit.

Hey!

Anything found in that tomb is the property of Mohawk Museum of New York and you don't wanna mess with us.

Ow. (water splashes)

Trust me.

Hey.

Wait!

Where is everybody?

Look.

You've got... (gasps)

Forget about the key and everything that happened here.

Go on with your life.

That key is my life.


(groans)

(grumbles)

Hey, mister!

What are you doin' there, mister?

Mister!

Hey, mister.

(abrasive tones)

Ever since I was a kid, I dreamt of being the greatest archeologist in the world.

You wouldn't take that away from me, would you?

Pride is a sin.

Listen, that skeleton was sealed in there for almost 1,500 years.

Even before Columbus, before the Vikings.

The first white man to ever set foot in the new world.

Think of what that means, the questions it raises.

Some questions are best left unanswered.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Somebody!

Help!

(dark atmospheric music)

Look, I appreciate you saving my life back there.

That guy was a maniac, but I really need to know what you're gonna do with that key.

Where are you going?

[Lukas] I need a car.

What, you're gonna steal a car?

I have one back at the site.

I'll drive you wherever you wanna go in exchange for that key. Shh.

(tires screech) Come on!

(glass smashes)

(lively rock music)

(man speaks foreign language)

(man speaks foreign language)

Dante!

DOn't look in his eyes!

Karen!

Please!

Don't let me die.

(roars)

(Lukas speaks in foreign language)

(moody atmospheric music)

(door slams)

(energetic rock music)

(siren wails)

(siren wails)

(siren wails)

(man speaks foreign language)

Calm down, sir, just calm down!

(man speaks foreign language)

Hey, hey!

How about English?

This is America, or maybe I should call the INS and get a translator, if you know what I mean.

Call for backup and cover the exits.

(Karen pants)

Probably some sort of joyride, another gang initiation.

(clunk) (faint snarls)

(faint snarls)

(growls)

(screams)

(screams)

(Karen gasps)

I'm not gonna hurt you.

Just give me the key.

You killed Dante.

What kind of a freak are you?

You killed my friend.

That wasn't your friend.

The evil inside him wanted that key.

Please give me the key.

Make another move and you never see this key again.

So tell me, without making even the tiniest move towards me, what is so important about this key?

The key unlocks a door.

A door to a prison.

Don't!

The thing is a relic.

Any prisoner waiting for it would be dust by now.

Not this prisoner.

He is immortal. (Karen chuckles)

You're crazy.

His freedom will mean the end of everything.

Armageddon.

The end of the world.

Thanks for the tip, so he's been paying taxes this year.

I don't blame you for not believing.

I was once like you. Stop it!

(muffled police radio chatter)

Oh, thank god you're here.

(slap)

(gun fires)

(groans)

(slap) (groans)

(thud) (groans)

(lights buzz)

No!

What are we gonna do? Hide.

(suspenseful music)

I am feeling charitable this evening.

So I will make you an offer, oh fallen knight.

Your lives for the key.

Come now, my valiant adversary!

Surely you know your soul is already forfeit.

You and your Templar kin have broken all four of your pious vows.

She is a beautiful woman, oh Knight of Christ.

Does she not, (hisses) tempt you?

Poverty.

Don't make me laugh.

Your order thrives while children starve.

Obedience.

Your ancestors failed that one long ago, when they refused to lay down their arms and disband.

Finally, protection of the pilgrims.

Tell me, how many of your innocents have died at your hands this evening?

This time, there is no escape.

(grunts)

(glass smashes)

Request backup, in the case of--

(loud clunk) (muffled radio chatter)

(Lukas speaks foreign language)

Dear God.

Please let this be the last.

What was all that about?

Why did she keep calling you knight, and Templar?

Huh?

Look, look.

We've gotta go back.

No, we've gotta explain that something weird is going on.

And you expect anyone to believe all those people are possessed?

This is great.

I'm a fugitive.

What are you doing?

I must get to the airport and take this key back where it belongs.

(tires screech)

[Karen] Oh my god.

[Radio] Central to all units.

We've got one officer down in the area.

How are you gonna do that?

You're a cop-killer.

Every airport and train station and dock in this city with an artist's rendition of your pretty face.

They'll be looking for you.

Then I must hide it, where he cannot find it.

Look.

I'm up to my ears in this shit, I'm involved now.

So tell me what this is all about.

(muffled radio chatter)

The son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise again.

According to the Nicene Creed, our lord Jesus Christ remained in the land of the dead for three days following his crucifixion.

During that time, he sought out his brother, God's other son.

(roars)

Yeah, the anti-Christ, right?

How come I've never heard of this?

It was in the Bible and the Nicene Creed until 1966 when Vatican had expunged all mention of Satan from the holy texts.

But erasing a name does not destroy an entity.

Entity?

So, you're talking about a fourth deity?

Okay let's see, Father, Son, Holy Ghost, and who exactly?

For many deceivers are entered into the world who confess not that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh.

The anti-Christ is called the great deceiver, because he clouds men's minds.

[Karen] The windigo.

He's known by many names.

Our savior tried to reason with the evil one, but he would hear none of it.

Mankind is his enemy, hatred his weapon.

He would not yield.

So, Jesus trapped him?

And I saw an angel come down from the heaven having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand.

You're telling me that that key is the key to the bottomless pit?

So what is it doing here?

We're wasting time.

He will find us.

I have to get to the monastery.

Hey, a monastery?

With the key to the bottomless pit?

Yes.

Over the pit a monastery was built.

The oldest greatest monastery in Christendom.

In the valley in the Gidav, in Jerusalem.

And this monastery sent you here?

You're a priest?

Well um, so do I call you Father?

No.

My name is Lukas.

Okay.

Hey, wait.

Wait for me.

Hey nice to meet you, Lukas, I'm Karen.

(moody atmospheric music) (muffled radio chatter)

Whatever happened to peace on earth, good will of man?

Didn't you hear about that, Roseberry?

God issued a disclaimer.

Any witnesses?

Yeah, one of our guys and a dispatcher.

We'll know what he saw as soon as the translator's done with him, but the uniform says it was a man and a woman, and that's not all.

Who, the killer's?

It ain't Santa's.

You see these spikes here?

Both victims had holes in the backs of their heads.

Same holes as the stiff we found in the new subway tunnels an hour ago.

Is that where they found that ancient burial crypt thing?

Alright.

Run a fingerprint check on the glove, and get in touch with that professor at Columbia, Schulman, Shulkin, Shulkin.

Tell him to meet me at the subway dig, ASAP, okay?

Senor Detective!

Senor Detective!

Sorry about that, Lieutenant.

Sorry about that, Lieutenant, the poor guy's hysterical.

He thinks (speaks foreign language) attacked him.

(man speaks foreign language)

Quaso what?

It's the Aztec name for the devil.

(man speaks foreign language)

Whoa whoa whoa, what?

What's he saying?

Crazy stuff.

(man speaks foreign language)

What?

His grandmother used to tell him how the devil changes shape to fool people.

He says the devil was here today, he looked into his eyes, and he saw the end of the world.

Take him to the hospital, make sure that he's okay.

(officer speaks foreign language)

You'll be okay.

This city keeps getting weirder every year.

(muffled radio chatter) (suspenseful music)

(tires screech)

Jesus Christ.

Nice moves, it's that the stuff they teach you in seminary school nowadays?

Lukas.

If this key is the only way the anti-Christ can be released, what happens if we destroy it?

The evil one has powers, too.

The key cannot be destroyed, but it can be hidden.

The anti-Christ predicted it would be free at the end of the first millennium, when 1,000 years should be fulfilled and after that he must (mumbles) season.

To avoid this, Christ entrusted the key to our order.

So, the key traveled from Jerusalem to downtown New York City.

We've kept the key from the minion for almost 2,000 years.

But now the millennium approaches again.

The key's been moved many times by many brave souls.

Legend tells us to fear the millennia as turning points, but the minion, or windigo, never rests.

He's most active when faith in God is most lacking.

So you're saying that, this minion, is what possessed those people, made them attack us?

An ancient demon, anti-Christ's familiar.

It enters through the eyes, taps into ancient part of the brain.

And these creatures aren't really alive, they're merely puppets being controlled by this one small part of the brain.

So that's why the one shot to the head killed the cop.

But the minion's dead now, right?

Wrong.

Destroying the brain only slows the minion down, forces it to find another host, another innocent victim.

The minion can never be killed, it will never rest, until its master is free.

I've got it.

This thing, this minion, uses human bodies, right?

I mean, without a living body, it's powerless, right?

Yes.

So what if we hid the key where no human being could ever get to it?

Alive.

[Lukas] Where?

Not so fast.

What say we do a little bartering?

I want an exclusive deal to write about the history of your order.

Impossible.

We've remained in the shadows for two millennia.

Lukas, Lukas, Lukas.

The whole purpose of your order's existence is to keep that key away from the minion.

If my plan works you'll all be able to take a long vacation.

Do we have a deal? (suspenseful music)


Joe!

What the hell's going on here?

It looks like World War III.

[Joe] Yeah, Merry Christmas to you, too.

(roars)

I swear to god, I was coming up and I was looking, and he's just, oh thanks, Dan.

Hey!

What you doin' there?

Uh, looking for my keys.

Found them.

Hey! Don't let her take the car!

(dark atmospheric music)

Boy, I'll tell ya.

I've had some lousy first dates, but you really win the Oscar.

For the last time, where are we going?

You see?

It's irritating when people won't answer you, isn't it?

I hope we've learnt a little lesson here.

Okay.

When I was a kid, I grew up on a Mohawk reservation a few miles north of Malone.

A couple years ago they started dumping, the government, that is, started dumping toxic waste in an old quarry.

It's a perfect spot, no people.

Just Indians.

Then they got the bright idea to add radioactive waste to the mix.

Then it went on, they might cancel each other out.

Could rot a man to the bone in seconds.

Drop the key in there and the minion would have to possess Superman to get it.

[Lukas] Well how do we get there?

Well the foreman's called Michael Bear.

The shaman of our tribe.

My grandfather.

It's a simple plan.

He lets us in, you drop the key in the muck, and I write a bestselling book on the history of the Templars.

A vain ambition.

Vanity is a sin.

(moody rock music)

(screams) (phone rings)

(phone rings)

(phone rings)

Yes? Gramps?

Karen.

Sorry to call you so early, but it's a matter of life and death.

And I mean that literally.

I need to get him to the storage site.

I had a dream, Karen.

I have seen the windigo.

He walks the land.

He knows your face.

Yes.

He does.

You were right, Gramps.

About everything you tried to teach me as a kid.

About the good and evil spirits, and about how they walk the earth among us.

I should have listened.

[Grandfather] Time has no meaning, my child, as long as we can still learn.

Will you help us?

Yes, Karen.

Thank you.

I love you.

We'll be there in a few hours.

(suspenseful music)

All set, he'll do it.

Holy.

The archeological find of the century.

Destroyed.

Yeah, it breaks my heart.

So you have any idea what happened here?

There's no telling when Karen Goodleaf is involved.

[Roseberry] Why?

You know this archeologist?

She has a reputation for violent behavior.

[Roseberry] What do you mean?

She was a student of mine.

Native-American develops a big case of chip-on-shoulder and ruins a possibly very promising career.

[Officer] Hey, doc, check this out.

Impossible.

A Celtic talisman.

It must have belonged to him.

[Officer] What's so important about it?

Because like this skeleton, it's something else that shouldn't be here.

What?

See this, Detective?

This is the symbol of the Nights Templar.

They anything like the knights of Columbus?

Hardly.

Templars were warrior monks formed in the Middle Ages to protect pilgrims traveling to the Holy Land.

There are theories though suggesting the knights were founded much earlier by St. Peter, in fact,

to be keepers of the holy relics.

Of course, this theory has never been proven, but, this tomb would suggest that, uh, the Templars existed as far back as the sixth century AD.

And that they discovered America.

Heavy.

Heavy enough to motivate four murders?

Detective, you mentioned that the killer was using a spiked glove?

Yeah, why?

Spiked gloves were the Templars' weapon of choice.

[Officer] These Templars, doc, are they still around?

Not a chance.

They were all killed by a mad French King Philip IV, and they by then strayed from their initial vow of poverty and were the biggest money-lenders in Christendom.

They clashed with King Philip and Pope Clements VI.

So the Pope and the King had them disbanded, took all their money and burned them at the stake.

So what are you saying, this guy's a history buff or something?

What I'm saying is that your suspect is a Templar-wannabe.

You mean a Manson-cult-type killer?

I wouldn't be surprised.

It is after all the end of the millennium, traditionally when fringe groups and lunatics predict the world will come to an end.

We're running a fingerprint check on the glove.

Should have the results in an hour.

Right.

Good, Steve, put out an APB on a crazy wannabe Templar Knight and uh, a female archeologist, Indian, with a chip on her shoulder.

(moody electronic music)

Oo, His Holiness disapproves.

Why does everything fun have to be so bad?

There is no joy in sin.

How would you know?

You ever sinned?

So, tell me, Sir Knight.

How do the boys back the Templar frat house hang loose?

My brothers and I pray, and prepare.

What do you do, play war games?

(chuckles)

How does one join the Holy Hit Squad?

Is it hereditary?

For some.

Others are recruited.

Were you?

Did you have a life before becoming God's warrior?

I've always been a warrior, but not always for God.

[Karen] Oh, this is bad.

What?

We've gotta stop for gas.

[Radio] This is Central Dispatch at one police.

Stand by for further description of those parking lot perpetrators.

(suspenseful music)

I'll be with you in a second, folks!

Okay!

What are you doing?

Getting something to eat, chips, candy bar, anything.

I'm starving.

Wait, hold on.

It's dangerous.

(Karen chuckles)

What's so dangerous?

We're in the middle of nowhere with a couple of hicks and two lethal-looking tourists.

Don't you ever just relax?

No, you don't understand.

Every stranger I meet could hide the enemy.

[Radio] In New York City, police are searching for a man and a woman associated with last night's brutal ritual killings.

On Christmas Eve.

Gotta be the devil's handiwork.

(sighs) Man, this heat.

Can you believe it?

The world goin' to hell in a hand basket.

Every human being I touch, I may have to kill.

I can never be close to anyone.

They could be the minion.

Anyone could be the minion.

Even you.

(suspenseful music)

(roars)

I think we're taking this paranoid thing a little too far.

I find it hard to believe that anyone can be the minion.

Jesus.

You spend your whole life like this?

Fearing everybody?

[Radio] The two suspects were last seen driving a MTA van.

The man is tall.

What's taking this guy so long?

[Radio] The woman reported to be dark-haired--

Hey, could you hurry it up, please?

We're late for church.

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Just a moment. Thanks.

Relax.

We're almost there.

(moody atmospheric music)

Don't make a move.

You're those ritual killers, aren't ya?

Devil-worshipers! Don't assume--

You make a move and you eat buck, okay?

Troy!

Call the sheriff!

I think I'm gonna make the paper.

[Radio] Suspects have been taken to Malone County police station MTA van license checked out, registered to--

(tires screech)

[Cop] Bringing in another one, Stakowski?

It must be the freakin' heat wave.

[Stakowski] Yeah, yeah.

One leather wallet, no ID, no credit cards, One airline ticket stub.

One passport.

[Lukas] (groans) Let me go!

$1,000 in cash.

Bible.

One key.

Possibly gold.

Probably stolen.

This way, ma'am. It does not belong to you!

Well I'll bet the farm it doesn't belong to you either.

You fools!

He will come for it!

No, don't!

(taser zaps)

Lock him up until his lawyer gets here.

Okay, phone Lieutenant Roseberry at county, tell him we bagged a psycho.

Get a shrink over here fast, I want her checked out.

[Cop] Right away, Captain.

Okay, now the lady.

[Cop] She's over here, Captain.

[Captain] Okay, ma'am.

Step into my office and tell what this is all about.

(somber atmospheric music)

[Man] From the female officer's autopsy.

My god, impossible.

No lines of character or personality.

It's like this woman was born yesterday.

Except, look at this part of the cerebellum.

How swollen it is, and this slash here cutting it off from the rest of the brain.

Interesting.

This old text was filed under Columbia's rare occult section.

It depicts a mythical battle the Templars fought against the devil's minion.

Probably a symbolic representation of sin.

They're armed with spiked gloves.

Precisely.

The Templars believe that evil nested in the rear-lower portion of the brain.

A quick blow to the head with a spiked glove gave their victims a merciful death.

Much like a toreador putting a bull out of its misery.

Interesting they should pick that particular spot of the brain.

You see this knot of tissue here?

It's called the amygdala, and this is the--

Center of aggression.

Very good, detective.

It's also called the reptile brain.

What could have caused this anomaly?

I have no idea, could be some new kind of brain disease.

All these stiffs have it.

A disease that affects the amygdala?

Creating perfect killers.

Perhaps.

And bear in mind I'm only speculating here but, maybe our Templar-wannabe, might be the carrier.

Did you get any information on him?

Yeah.

The guy's name is Lukas Sadorov.

He arrived in New York from Israel last night.

The Middle East.

A hotspot for unusual diseases.

But why the obsession with Templar lore?

Was he a history student or a travel guide of some sort?

No.

Former Spetsnaz.

Elite Soviet commando unit.

A war hero from a long line of war heroes.

His dad was decorated in World War II.

His granddaddy in the October Revolution.

But something went wrong our boy.

[Man] Yeah, I'd say so.

His unit in Afghanistan was involved in an atrocity.

Wiped out a whole village, women and children.

After that, he disappeared.

Russians think that he went mercenary.

Looks like he got in touch with the beast within.

Got him, highway patrol picked 'em up south of Malone.

Chopper's waiting for you.

[Roseberry] Here we go.

(flatulence)

(groans)

(flatulence)

I've gotta have that psychiatrist, now.

I don't care if it is Christmas.

Look.

I know how this sounds.

But believe me, that the minion is not a figment of my imagination.

It's already killed a lot of people.

And it'll kill all of us if we don't stop it.

(suspenseful music)

[Minion] Merry Christmas.

(guns fire)

What the hell's that?

(guns fire)

(muffled gunfire)

(guns fire)


(guns fire)

(guns fire)

(glass smashes) (guns fire)

(guns fire)

(roars)

(roars)

(gasps)

I'll be taking that now, thank you.

Run, Karen!

(dramatic rock music)

(glass smashes)

(smacks and thuds) (grunts and groans)

Templar, you have failed.

Soon my master will live again.

(gun fires) (groans)

Lukas.

Come on.

(suspenseful music)

(car starts)

(tires screech)

You saved my life, Karen.

Thank you.

(wild animal squawks)

(roars)

Are you okay?

You wouldn't understand.

Well, I might.

I'm lost.

I'm drifting through life, Lukas.

I haven't been home in 15 years.

And now you're not sure if you can ever find a way back.

Yeah.

Home, is where you're loved.

Follow your heart.

It will lead the way.

(dark atmospheric music)

(camera clicks and whines)

[Paramedic] Got two more over here!

(camera clicks)

[Officer] I need forensics upstairs, go on!

(camera clicks)

[Officer] I want to get to the bottom of this right now.

How the hell did Sadorov do this much damage?

I thought you had him at the woman in custody?

The suspects didn't do this, sir.

No?

Then who did?

(camera clicks)

We should do an autopsy immediately.

If his brain exhibits symptoms of the disease, we could have an epidemic on our hands.

Epidemic? Yeah.

Alright.

Do it.

Slice him and dice him.

Officer-- Uh, in private?

We don't wanna start a panic.

Officer.

Do it quickly.

Let me have your radio.

Dispatch, Roseberry in Malone County, I need some backup and a chopper here at the nearest airport.

(faint growls)

(wild animal squawks)

(thunder rumbles)

There it is.

Home.

I collected my first pot shards and ax heads over there on those hills.

I played on the ancient battle fields of my tribe.

I fell in love with the past.

(sighs)

Let's go.

Gramps.

What took you so long?

(both laugh)

Karen.

(suspenseful music)

And air surveillance.

Yeah well there's 100 miles of woods and shrubs and crap all over, they have no idea where they're going.

I do.

The Wakanasake flats power plant.

I just figured it out.

What are you talking about?

Goodleaf grew up on a Wakanasake reservation not too far from here.

A couple of years ago the government built a nuclear containment facility on the grounds.

She's been threatening to sabotage the facility ever since.

She and the psycho could seek asylum there and her people would protect them.

Get a chopper ready and contact the Wakanasake reservation.

Tell them to keep an eye out for anyone fitting their description.

(roars)

I saw you, too, in my dream.

Any man who fights the windigo is welcome here.

Thank you.

(chuckles)

It won't be easy gettin' in there.

And the windigo, Satan as you call him, is very powerful.

These are times of need. (door opens and closes)

I called on some old friends for help.

Welcome, Gray Eagle. Bear.

Hello, Karen.

Gray Eagle.

Thought you swore you'd never set foot in this place again?

I was wrong.

I was wrong about a lot of things.

I missed you.

I missed you, too.

Well you're gonna need a few things.

I brought you some gear, all kinds of stuff to get you in.

You'll find containment suits.

Mirrored visors, to hide your popular faces.

What we need is some way to get past security.

Two tickets to the dance.

Courtesy of the Gray Eagle printing press.

Yep.

You still got the touch.

Idle hands are the devil's tools.


Emergency shipment, Chris.

I got some soup here that needs to cool off.


There you go.

50,000 gallons of radioactive soup, with a half-life maybe 4,000 years.

So is Conan here you're new main squeeze?

Nothing like that.

He's a priest.

Yeah, and uh, and I'm General Custard.

Come on, when we get you in you only have 90 seconds before a class-B contamination.

I want a description of the suspects over the PA system every 10 minutes, I want your men armed at all times.

With all due respect, Lieutenant, it's Christmas day.

Now you're out of your jurisdiction here.

If there is a problem, we are perfectly capable of handling it on our own.

You know, that's funny 'cause that's what the highway patrol thought, and they're still tagging bodies.

(ominous tones)

(snarls)

(suspenseful music)

[PA System] Attention all facility employees.

Police are on the premises looking for two hostile suspects. Shit.

They know you're here, I'm gonna have to take the key in.

Trust, white man.

A quality your people could use more of.

Yep.

That wasn't so hard, was it?

Give me a minute to change and meet me by the access door.

Gramps, Gramps.

Be careful, okay?

Come on, we'd better get out of sight.


(minion growls)

I want this pathetic excuse of a body.

[Bear] Sorry, I've kind of got attached to it over the years.

(grunts and groans)

That was not a request.

(groans)

[Bear] Evil is here, windigo.

You're nothing unless I let you be!

Then we'll do this the hard way.

(roars) (screams)

What's taking him so long?


Everything okay, Gramps?

[Lukas] Send it back to hell.

That's the sign of the windigo.

Lukas, his back, that's not my grandfather!

It's Dr. Schulman, get him!

(alarm buzzes rhythmically) (dramatic music)

(groans)

Forget it, Karen!

The radiation will melt your pretty face off!

He killed my grandfather.

You can't stop him!

He'll be heading for the cleaning facility, this way!

I want two with us.

The rest seal off all corridors around Sector G.

Do not move in unless I say so!

(dramatic music)

(grunts and groans) (thuds and smacks)

(thuds and smacks) (grunts and groans)

(clunks) (groans)

(clinks)

(groans)

(pipe clinks) (grunts)

(thuds) (groans)

Goodbye, Knight of Christ, and don't fear, I shall soon your fellow Templars to join you.

And then I will free my sweet master.

(thud)

(grunts)

Schulman.

Ah, Lieutenant.

Take him!

(grunts) (thuds)

(groans)

I think it's time you gained some first-hand experience about the killer instinct.

I'll see you in hell.

Yes, you will.

(energetic music)

(grunts)

I'll send you a postcard from the Holy Land!

(guns fire)

Lukas, over here! (guns fire)

[News Anchor] The United States Secretary of State will be flying to Bosnia again in attempt to end the renewed bloodshed.

Meanwhile in Zither, rebel forces continue to clash with government troops.

The forces of evil are rising in anticipation of his release.

The minion is close, Bernard.

(wild animal squawks) (roars and snarls)

(distant thunder rumbles)

[Karen] Help me.

The minion will take the key directly to Jerusalem.

Where is the nearest airport? Montreal's International.

You can cross the border at Cornwall.

You should leave now.

They'll be looking for you at the border.

We're gonna need passports for Canadian customs.

Can you make them for us, Gray?

Us?

No, Karen.

I'm going alone.

[Gray] He's right, Karen, we should stay here.

Bullshit.

A deal is a deal.

The minion has the key, all deals are off.

Gray doesn't wear his forger's cap 'til I say so.

You still need me.

(Lukas sighs)

Karen.

You have no concept of the danger.

Fame and success aren't worth throwing your life away, are they?

Do you think this is about a stupid book?

That son of a bitch killed my grandfather.

I was lost before, Lukas.

Now I'm following my heart.

Please don't tell me I can't finish something I've already started.

[Lukas] I have to call the monastery.

[Gray] Take my cellphone.

(exotic atmospheric music)

Bear is still with us.

Somehow.

I can feel him.

He always watched over you.

No matter where you were.

(phone rings)

(phone rings)

Yes? Master Gregor.

Lukas. I have not succeeded.

The minion is on his way with the key.

No.

Has our champion failed?

Wake the others.

(Karen speaks foreign language)

I've never heard you speak Mohawk before.

(Karen chuckles)

For that matter, I've never heard you apologize before.

Well, there's a first time for everything.

(plane engine roars)

[PA System] Arriving from Toronto, flight 701 from Montreal will be slightly delayed.

Please do not leave parcels or suitcases unattended in the air terminal, all such objects will be removed by security.

[Minion] To the valley of Migel.

(suspenseful guitar music)

Please, my brothers!

He is near, keep your eyes open.

You and you, cover the back.

Anything? Nothing.

I don't understand.

The minion should have arrived in Jerusalem hours ago.

Perhaps Lukas was in error.

I always had my doubts about him.

If only you'd sent me instead--

Brother Lukas was chosen for this mission, because he among us is the most experienced in the art of war.

If you say so, Master.

(suspenseful guitar music)

(minion roars)

Stop him! (gun fires)

(groans)

("Lacrimosa" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart)

(explosion)

(screams)

(roars)

(guns fire rapidly)


(screams and roars)

(guns fire rapidly)

I've waited many lifetimes for this moment.

You have learned nothing, demon.

No matter how long you seem to triumph, ultimately you cannot win.

This is God's world.

God!

God is dead!

(Bernard screams)

(minion growls)

(wild animal squawks)

I did it.

I killed the minion!

The minion is dead, Master.

Now.

Now who is the bravest among us?

No, don't touch him! (minion roars)

(wild animal squawks)

(tires screech)

(growls)

(gun fires rapidly) (laughs)

(roars)

You shall be released!

(thunder cracks and rumbles)

(laughs maniacally)

Come, Master!

The world awaits!

(faint growls)

[Karen] Oh my god, we're too late.

Master Gregor!

Bernard!

Oh, my brothers.

Forgive me.

For I am responsible.

Master Gregor, Bernard!

(snarls)

Lukas.

[Lukas] Master Gregor!

Lukas. Master.

Thank God you're here.

Where is the minion?

The minion lives on in Bernard.

In the name of all that is holy, Lukas, stop him.

(dark atmospheric music)

(minion roars)

(gun fires rapidly) (laughs)

(gun clicks)

(guns fire rapidly) (groans)

(minion roars)

There's a tunnel behind the altar.

The key must be in there, find it!

(grunts and groans) (dramatic music)

(grunts)

(swords clang) (grunts)

(thud) (groans)

(roars)

You are the most formidable of opponents I've encountered in two millennia, my Knight of Christ.

Pity your intelligence doesn't match your strength.

If it did, you'd realize you were fighting on the wrong side!

(swords clang) (grunts)

(thud) (roars)

Lukas!

(swords clang)

Beg, fool!

My master's been trapped for 2,000 years!

Yet, your world is hell!

War, hate, disease!

Pestilence!

Who causes these things?

(roars)

Your God, Lukas!

(laughs)

Your God creates pain.

Misery.

Unspeakable agony.

Why?

Because of his infinite madness!

(dramatic music) (thuds)

You cannot tempt me, demon.

(groans)

No!

Perhaps not you.

(Karen yelps) (door hisses)

(roars)

Karen.

[Karen] Gramps?

Help me, Karen.

Why did you leave me? I'm sorry.

I'm suffering.

Release me.

(roars)

(grunts and groans) (thuds and clangs)

(thuds)

(grunts and groans) (thuds and clangs)

Your puny god fails you, Lukas!

Just as he has failed this world.

Soon all creation will bow to my master's might!

Even your sweet Jesus!

(groans)

(scraping thud)

Forgive me, Bernard.

(grunts)

(sharp thud)

(minion growls) (screams)

[Karen] Lukas!

Karen!

Karen.

(door latch clunks)

Lukas, he's almost free!

(wild animal squawks)

(roars)

Karen.

Please.

You're killing me.

Don't look at him, Karen!

Don't listen!

(roars)

They all betrayed you, Karen!

I say let your anger flow.

Bitch.

(snarls)

Anger is a sin.

(music swells and intensifies)

(key clinks) (groans)

(faint screams)

(both sigh and pant)

Oh, Lukas.

Your hands.

[Lukas] It's nothing.

Oh, no.


(sighs)

It's over, right?

The minion, it's dead.

You can't kill a spirit.

We merely stopped it.

For another 1,000 years.

Well, then what?

There are no more Templars, Lucas.

There is one.

There will be more.

Perhaps your, your book, will help.

Screw the book.

I'll help.

What?

Who says Templars have to be men?

(Lukas chuckles)

Karen.

Karen, you don't know what you're asking.

Don't I?

There is a first time for everything.

(suspenseful atmospheric music)

(faint growls)

(moody rock music)