The Mutilator (1984) Script

(BIRDS TWITTERING)

(DOG BARKING)


(GUNSHOT)

Mama, Mama!

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(FOOTSTEPS)


(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)

('FALL BREAK' PLAYING)

♪ We're goin' on a...

♪ A fall break

♪ Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right

♪ Feelin' all right... ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

Fall break, and here we sit.

No plans, nothing to do.

I've been warning you since September.

Go to the beach, go to the mountains, do something.

Don't say I didn't tell you so.

Well, why didn't you make some reservations?

(PHONE RINGING) I should have, but you guys never agree on anything.

So, we'll sit around here just like we did last year.

It's depressing.

Hey, Ed, uh, you have a telephone call.

Right.

No, seriously, you have a telephone call.

Well, what do you know?

Ralph said what he meant for a change.

Yeah?

My dad?

Yeah, OK. Uh-huh.

Well, anybody got any good ideas for break?

I'm gonna set a new high score on the video machine.

I'm gonna watch.

How about you?

Well, actually, I was relying on you to make the arrangements.

Oh, Ralph.

ED: Anybody got any paper?

It's a message to call my dad.

From a phone booth, for Christ's sakes.

I thought Ed's father was dead.

His mother is dead.

God, it was a terrible accident, too.

What happened?

When he was a little boy, Ed accidentally shot her.

Oh, ho-ho, man...

Drove his father crazy. I can understand it.

You know, I really can't...

Dad? (LINE DISCONNECTED)

I don't believe it.

Don't believe what?

My old man.

What's up?

He's having another one of his spells.

What do you mean? Yeah, what kind of spells?

The kind that come in bottles.

Well, what's the problem?

Will you let the man talk?

He wants me to close up his condo for the winter.

Oh, that sounds like work.

What's the matter? Big strong you, afraid of a little work?

Oh, he just has to save his strength for more important things.

Right. It's not it.

I mean, all my life the creep's ignored me, and treated me like some redheaded bastard.

Um... (WHISTLES)

Oh, sorry.

Now, all of a sudden, he calls me up and asks me to do something.

Tells me I'm old enough to "take the responsibility."

What'd you say?

I told him to do his own work.

What'd he say?

He said if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done.

"Face it like a man."

And I'm not gonna do it. I mean, what a jerk.

How much work?

"Turn off the water, turn off the electricity, "pour some antifreeze in the plumbing."

(MIMICS BIG ED) "Any 10-year-old can handle it."


Uh, did you say, any 10-year-old can handle it?

It's a snap. Nothing to it.

We can handle that.

Yeah, how come we didn't know you had a condo at the beach?

No way.

(CHUCKLES) What do you say?

Four days of R&R at the beach.

I'm in. She's in, I'm in.

Sounds good to me.

I got a bad feeling about this.

(GROANS)

(CAR HONKS IN DISTANCE)

Don't forget our arrangement. Oh!

(STAMMERING) Oh, I'm sorry. Don't know what I'm doing, you know? Just all...

I really didn't mean to. OK?

OK. Bye-bye.

(SIGHS)

What's the matter, Ralph?

Guys, Sue can't come.

ALL: No. Yeah.

Something went wrong with one of her exams, and she's just gonna have to take it over again.

PAM: Oh, God. ED: That's terrible.

Yeah... Get in. You can't let that spoil your trip.

ED: Where are you going? I'm just going in to say goodbye.

Hey, no, guys, I really wouldn't feel right going without Sue.

Don't be a jerk. BOTH: Get in the car.

You're going. No backing out now.

No... PAM: Get in the car. Get in the car.

ED: Hey, there's Sue.

Hi, guys. Sorry to keep you waiting.

PAM: Hi, Sue.

I'm really sorry you can't go.

Yeah, me too. LINDA: Rotten luck.

What're you guys talking about?

Ralph! Ooh! Oh, man!

ED: What a jerk.

God, I believe him every time, all the time.

Guys, gimme a break. PAM: Aw, Ralph.

Besides, let's get this road trip... (ED, PAM SCREAM)

...on the road! (PAM GIGGLES)

Break my car.

That's OK, it's paid for.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING) RALPH: Come on.

Man, this car's not convinced we're going anywhere.

So, my philosophy is, let's have some beer.

(LAUGHING)

(ENGINE STARTS) (ALL CHEERING)

('FALL BREAK' PLAYING)

♪ When the leaves of summer turn to red and gold

♪ And the football games bring a hint of the cold

♪ Time to get away

♪ We'll pack the car with escape in mind

♪ Forgettin' about classes, leavin' books behind

♪ Time to get away

♪ Empty cootage sittin' on the shore

♪ Tourists all left about a month before

♪ And we're gonna have a good time

♪ Gonna have a good time

♪ Yeah, we're gonna have a good time

♪ We're goin' on a...

♪ A fall break

♪ Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight

♪ In the moonlight

♪ We'll breathe the sweet salt air

♪ I swear we're never far

♪ We're goin' on a...

♪ A fall break

♪ Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right

♪ Feelin' all right

♪ And when you fall into my arms

♪ I'll break into your heart ♪

(ENGINE HISSING)

(ALL COUGHING)

Oh, man.

Well, I think I'll go get some beer.

(HUMMING)

Will that be all?

Maybe.

Hey, how old do you have to be to get that discount?

65. 65?

Hey, man, now that's discrimination.

It is? It sure is.

Look, I'm a law student, so I ought to know.

That discriminates against me for being young.

It does? Well, sure it does.

Look, tell you what I'm gonna do.

If you'll give me that 10% discount, I'll go get another six-pack of beer, and we'll both benefit.

Now, what do you say to that?

Sure.

(LAUGHING)

What took you so long?

Oh, man, wait till you guys hear about this one.

This is great.

(LAUGHING) PAM: They're always great...

RALPH: Oh, man.

Another one of those smart ass college kids, talking themselves into buying two six-packs instead of one.

Yep.

(CHUCKLES)

♪ I can hardly wait to head for the dunes

♪ Spread down a blanket

♪ Humming sweet love tunes from yesteryear

♪ Not a soul in sight, girl, ahead and blessed

♪ Bring a radio, a cooler, and a case of the best

♪ And we'll disappear

♪ And later on maybe who knows

♪ We'll swim in the surf in our birthday clothes

♪ And we're gonna have a good time

♪ Gonna have a good time

♪ Yeah, we're gonna have a good time

♪ We're goin' on a...

♪ A fall break

♪ Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight

♪ In the moonlight

♪ We'll breathe the sweet salt air

♪ I swear we're never far

♪ We're goin' on a...

♪ A fall break

♪ Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right

♪ Feelin' all right

♪ And when you fall into my arms

♪ I'll break into your heart


♪ We're gonna have a good time

♪ A fall break

♪ A fall break, a fall break Ooh

♪ A fall break

♪ A fall break, a fall break Hey, hey, hey, a fall break

♪ A fall break, a fall break

♪ Ooh, a fall break

♪ A fall break, a fall break

♪ Yeah, fall break ♪

(TIRES SCREECH)

(SEAGULL SCREECHING)

So, this is it, huh?

The famous condo at the beach.

ED: What do you think? MIKE: Not bad.

RALPH: Nah, it's not too bad. PAM: I kinda like it.

All right, everybody, let's get this stuff inside.

Hey, Pam. Throw me the keys.

(KEYS JANGLE) Ooh, easy.

Hey, Ralph. Catch!

Hey, Ed. I don't need 'em.

This place is wide open.

ED: So, what's the hold up? MIKE: Yeah.

I don't know.

Something just doesn't look right.

It's nothing. Just a little mess.

Come on in.

RALPH: Looks like we missed the party.

I see my dad had a little help bringing on his spell.

What do you mean?

Well, he likes to come down with his drinking buddies and they swap lies about the good old days when they were great white hunters and macho men.

Macho, huh?

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Dad used to tell me that he'd hunted everything but man.

How long do you think it's been since they were here?

ED: I don't know. Last week, last night, this morning maybe.

I think we should call the cops.

What if this place has been broken into?

Yeah, what if they're still here?

Cut it out, Ralph.

Besides, there are no cops.

No cops?

Well, the cops on the mainland, the Sheriff's Department?

And they come over and patrol like that guy on the bridge.

There's almost always someone on the beach patrolling though.

Almost always?

(CHUCKLES) Great place to smuggle dope.

I think we should report it.

Yeah, how can you be sure it's your old man?

Look, nothing's missing.

Let's just don't worry about it.

Avoid the hassle.

RALPH: Hey, guys. Look at this stuff.

Geez! Would you look at all this shit?

SUE: Well, rah, rah.

MIKE: Look at this.

ED: That was a record.

28 pounds.

Mmm-mmm, I'll bet that was good baked with a little lemon.

Oh, Dad didn't eat it.

He's what's called a trophy hunter.

Well, looks like the party's over for this joker.

SUE: Ugh.

Yeah... My dad ran over him with a ski boat.

An accident.

What's this thing?

Uh, that's a gaff.

What's a gaff?

When you're fishing, and you see a big one up over the side of the boat, then you hook it in him.

Here. PAM: Real nice.

I guess this is what he caught that fish with.

Nope. It's what he caught this girl with.

How did you know it was a girl?

SUE: Yeah.

When he caught her, he slit her open and a couple of dozen little baby sharks spilled out on the deck, all flipping around with the yolk sacks still attached.

Oh, yuck.

You're sick. PAM: Nice.

(VOCALISING MENACINGLY)

Tell us about this.

ED: This one's great.

One night, Big Ed, I mean Dad, and his buddies were all over here having a drinking party, and they decided to have a contest.

(MIMICS BIG ED) "Hey, let's throw pyramid sinkers through the wall."

(CHUCKLES)

You know, they almost made it.

Well, Dad won the contest, naturally, and this was his winning toss.

He was so proud, he nailed a picture frame around it.

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) Where are the bedrooms?

Give us a break.

Upstairs.

(SEAGULLS SCREECHING)

(ED, MUFFLED) Watch it, you're going to drop it.

(THUD)

Don't tell us.

Your dad won the Halloween costume contest at the Moose Lodge.

(RALPH HONKING) No, wait.

That is a mask of the Mayan rain god, Chaac.

Dad picked it up on a hunting trip in Yucatan.

I think he stole it.

You know, the priests were supposed to wear these during ritual sacrifices.

Sacrifices?

Sacrifices. (GROWLS)

(SUE GIGGLES)

Tell me they sacrificed lambs and little things like that?

Yeah, little things like that.

No, big things like girls.

The victims, young virgins, were shot with arrows, or sometimes beheaded.

Ugh, take this away from me.

(CHUCKLES)

Virgins, huh?

Well, at least we're all safe...

Or are we?

Jerk. (GROWLS)

What went there?

Ah, one of my dad's favourite things. His battle-axe.

It's not there now. No shit.

It's missing.

He probablyjust took it with him.

How can you be sure? Maybe it was stolen.

Sometimes he takes his toys home for a while.

Well, I'm a little uncomfortable. ED: Christ, who would want it.

And why would they take just the battle-axe?

Yeah, why not that fantastic mask?

(ED CHUCKLES) PAM: Well, I don't know.

But I'd feel a lot better if you'd report it to the police.

OK, I'll tell you what.

We'll find a phone in the morning, and I'll call my dad.

If he says he doesn't have the battle-axe, then we'll call the Sheriff's Department on the mainland and report that the house has been broken into, and something stolen.

OK?

OK.

OK, now let's get that stuff upstairs.

All right. Sounds like a good idea to me.


(ED HUMMING) (SUE GIGGLING)

Oh...

Uh...

Hey, Ralph, want to help carry some of these things up?

They might get lost upstairs.

It's still a little early.

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, Pam, that's a great idea.

Uh, need any help lighting your fire?

Oh!

Here's your room. Why don't you give me those?

No sooner said than done.

(EXHALES)

(RALPH CHUCKLES) It's a nice change, isn't it?

SUE: Mmm-hmm.

ED: Yeah.

Ah, it feels good. (GIGGLES)

Come here.

(ED EXHALES)

(RALPH EXHALES)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(GUNSHOT)

(ALL LAUGHING)


Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

(SHRIEKS)

(LAUGHING)


What do you suppose is in here?

Trophies, of course, what else?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I wonder where he keeps them.

Hey, maybe this is where he keeps the mask of the sun god, Zeus.

Yeah, maybe this is where he keeps the mask of the moon god, goose!

Oh! Whoa! (GIGGLES)

(LINDA GASPS)

Geez, that scared the shit out of me.

LINDA: What do you suppose these are for?

MIKE: To hold the net up.

Wouldn't think they'd have to be so sharp, would you?

I don't know.

How do I look as a fisherman?

Not bad. But your rubbers are too big.

That's the first time you've ever said that. (GIGGLES)

Here, catch.

Think you could throw that through the wall?

Geez, I don't know, but I sure would hate to get hit in the head with one of these.

(LINDA CHUCKLES)

LINDA: Or anywhere else.

(LINDA CHUCKLES)

Hey, look at this a minute.

You don't think this is what ran over that sucker upstairs, do you?

LINDA: No, it's too small for a ski boat.

MIKE: Yeah, too small for a ski boat.

Now, how about these?

I know what these are for.

Come here.

PAM: Linda!

Yes? How about a little help up here?

On the way.

Go on up, I'm right behind you. All right.

(CAR CREAKING)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(LAUGHING)

(HEAVY BREATHING)


ED: That wasn't too bad.

(RALPH BURPS) ED: That was.

SUE: Say excuse me. LINDA: Man...

I've had about enough.

Let's get this mess cleaned up.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Here's a duty roster.

A duty roster?

Yep, Ed and I clean up tonight.

Ralph and Sue tomorrow night, and so on.

(CHUCKLES)

Come on, sweet meats, let's go enjoy our night off.

(FOOTSTEPS FADING AWAY)

Come on, this is too much.

Let's walk off some of that food.

Come on, you guys, let's go for a walk on the beach.

Uh, you guys go ahead.

We'll catch up to you later?

Right.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)


(HEAVY BREATHING)

One, two, three, four, five, six.

I wonder where Mike and Linda are.

(CHUCKLES)

They're out on the beach.

They've been gone a long time.

(SNORTS AND CHUCKLES)

Now, where did I put those arrows?

Cut it out, Ralph.

No sacrifices tonight.

Eh!

What are you so happy about, anyhow?

You've done something. I recognize that grin.

Oh, you'll see.

Done something cute to Mike and Linda.

Quit that sort of thing, Ralph.

Yeah, when are you gonna grow up?

I don't know.

Look, hey, let's take a break from this game.

It's so easy, it is boring.

Easy? You're losing. (CHUCKLES)

Um, small point.

I'm ready for a break.

Suits me.

I'm broke, anyhow.

(DOOR SLIDING OPEN)

Let's catch up with Mike and Linda.

ED: Hey, guys!

PAM: Mike!

PAM: Linda!

(CURTAINS THUDDING)


LINDA: Come on. MIKE: Where?

To the pool, dummy.

(WHISPERS) Linda, where are you?

What's wrong with the water?

It looks like it's been loaded down with chlorine.

Will that hurt you?

No, in fact it probably prevents herpes.

Oh? I didn't know I had to be concerned about that.

You, in the pool.

(LIGHTS CLICKING) Hey, where did everybody go?

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)


(UNZIPS PANTS)

MIKE: This is great.

LINDA: Yeah.

LINDA: In the pool.

(WATER SPLASHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(LINDA LAUGHING)


PAM: That's sweet.

Thank you.

Does this mean that if we don't make love, you'll still like me in the morning?

It means, if we don't make love, I'll still like you tonight.

We'll just have to let the morning see what the morning brings.

(GIGGLES) Oh, heavy.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(LIGHTS CLICK)

LINDA: Hey, where did everybody go?

MIKE: There's a slow echo in here.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

MIKE: Stay here. I'll get it. (LINDA CHUCKLES)

(LIGHTS CLICK)

(LINDA LAUGHING)

Tag. You're it.

Bet you can't find me.


Mmm.

Ah, this feels good.

Mmm.

(WATER CHURNING)


(EXHALES)


Shit!


Thank God for small favours.

What's this?

A little game, eh?

Gotcha! (GASPS)

Socks, nice.

What I really want is my... jacket!

Say, you're pretty good at this.

Thanks.


Now this is getting interesting.

I think I'm getting your message.


(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)

Geez, not again!

(PANTING)

(DOOR CREAKING)

I'm coming...

To get you...

(MOTOR WHIRRING) (SCREAMING)

(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

(GROANING FADES)


(HEAD THUMPING)

Do you see 'em? I thought I saw something.

Mike!

Do you see them? ED: Pam saw something.

(SHRIEKS)

Is everything all right here?

Yeah.

You just scared me, that's all.

What are you kids doing out here at night on the beach, anyway?

We're staying at my father's condo, up that way.

ED: Right here along the street, the one that runs on the ocean.

Yeah, he was closing his condo for the winter when he became ill, and we all came down to help finish up.

It's the only one around here with any lights on.

I saw some men around there yesterday.

But their car was gone.

I didn't see anyone there today.

Well, somebody was there today.

When we came, the door was open and one of his father's things was missing.

Is that right?

Yeah, but I'm sure my father just took it home with him.

Look, I'm gonna give him a call in the morning and if it's not right, I'll report it.

All right, I've noted it.

And I'm not gonna make it official until you call it in.

OK.

In the meantime, you kids be careful out here on the beach tonight.

It's not dangerous, is it?

Yeah, there's no murderers or rapers around, are there?

I mean, have you been having some heavy action lately?

(CHUCKLES)

Are you kiddin'? It's like a graveyard around here.

There's some thunderstorms coming through.

You could get struck by lightning walking on the beach at night.

OK, thanks for the warning.

Say, you didn't happen to see another couple walking on the beach, did you?

No, I'm sorry.

(CHUCKLES) Well, if you do see them, don't look.

(LAUGHING) OK, thanks.

(THUNDER CRACKING)

Say, how do you suppose he could sneak up behind somebody wearing all of that hardware?

Practice.

(PAM SHRIEKING) Let me go! Let me go!

(ED SHOUTING) Mike!

Yeah, I'm investigating a possible 10-38 at 4 East Ocean Townes.

(MAN OVER RADIO) Roger, Ben. We know where you are.

10-4.


(WIND GUSTING)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

Arghh!

(GROANING)

(THUMP)

(BLOOD DRIPPING)

Well, anybody up for a footrace?

(ED GROANING)

(RALPH CHUCKLES) Me too.

Let's head back.

Lightning is not one of my favourite things.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Oh, look. What's this?

That's a skate's egg, sometimes called the devil's pocketbook.

Uh, they're said to attract lightning?

Right, Ralph. Mmm...

No! No!

You find many good seashells along here?

Oh, yeah, at this time of year when there's not too many people around, shell-hunting ought to be pretty good.

Let's go look for seashells in the morning.

Sure.

RALPH: Let's hurry up and finish the game. It's almost bedtime.

SUE: You have a one-track mind. (CHUCKLES)

RALPH: I do not. I have a two-track mind. SUE: Oh, yeah, what's the other one on?

RALPH: Well, right now it's on sex, too, but not always.

(SUE CHUCKLES) I'll bet.

RALPH: Uh, you're not complaining, are you?

SUE: Well, no.

(BOTH LAUGHING) RALPH: Right...

PAM: I wish Ralph wouldn't have so much to say about my being a virgin.

ED: Ah, he's trying to help me score.

Score? Is that all we are to you three? Scores?

You know better than that.

But to Ralph, it's a necessary part of a relationship.

Well, it's not a necessary part of my relationships.

(GROANING) I know.

What's that supposed to mean? (CHUCKLES)

(LAUGHING)

Well, Ralph, are you ready to file for bankruptcy, or would you like to try to drag it out just a little bit longer?

(DOOR THUDS)

Why don't you guys save the rest of that game till tomorrow?

Come on, let's do something all of us can play.

PAM: What'd you have in mind?

Nothing in particular.

Anybody got any ideas?

(YAWNS LOUDLY)

It's getting close to bedtime, isn't it?

(CHUCKLES) Not yet, tiger.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

(MOCKING) "Not yet, tiger."

(ROARS)

No more. I've had enough.

Enough? You haven't had any... Ow! (GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

ED: She'll do it, too, Ralph.

Hey, I've got a great idea. How about a game of Blind Man's Bluff?

ED: All right. I'll get the beers.

No, I'll... I'll get 'em.

Please?

(FOOTSTEPS FADING AWAY)

Pam was gonna give you a fat lip, which you really did deserve.

(CHUCKLES) Nah, she wasn't going to do anything.

(SCOFFS) Bullshit.

(GAFF THUDS)

Blind Man's Bluff?

I don't believe it. We're going to grope around in the dark?

ED: Would you rather grope in the light?

Get serious.

First, everybody gets a beer.

That's the important part.

Then, we turn off all the lights.

Whoever is "it" stays in the house, and the rest of us go outside and drink a beer.

Then, the person playing it hides himself, and we all come back in and try to find him.

When we do, we stand, or sit, or lie down next to him.

Finally, there'll just be one person wandering around the house, trying to find everybody else.

Sounds like great fun.

(CLICKS TONGUE) You'll see. You'll see.

OK. Now, who's gonna be it?

Me. I'm gonna be it.

All right.

Everybody else, out!

(DOOR SLIDES SHUT)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

Come on up.

(RALPH CHUCKLES)

(SHRIEKS) Let me down, let me down.

(RALPH LAUGHING)

Oh, the poor little thing.

(WINDOW SLIDING SHUT)

(CAN POPS OPEN)

(LIGHTS CLICK OFF)

Sorry, Ralph, you'll have to go around and play fair, just like everybody else.

RALPH: Here we come, ready or not.

(PAM LAUGHING)

Think she's had enough time?

Yeah.

(BEER SPLASHING)

(CAN CLUNKS)

(FOOTSTEPS)

(DOOR SLIDING OPEN)

(DOOR SLIDES SHUT)

(MUFFLED LAUGHS)

(HEAVY BREATHING)


(LINDA LAUGHING QUIETLY)

(BENCH SLIDING)

(FLOOR CREAKING)

(SIGHS)

(DOOR CREAKS)


(GIGGLES)

(KISSING)

(BENCH SLIDING)

(FLOOR CREAKING)

(SLAP)


(LOCK CLICKS)


Any of you guys want a beer?

(ALL LAUGHING)

(RALPH GROANING)

(RALPH CHUCKLING) Yeah, I'll take one.

LINDA: Yeah, me too. PAM: Me too.

PAM: How did you know we were here?

Ha! It was the process of elimination.

He'd already looked everywhere else.

(PAM LAUGHING) ED: That's right.

OK, what's next?

(ALL YAWNING)

I get it.

You know, I'm really worried about Mike and Linda.

They've been gone so long.

Hey, don't worry about Mike and Linda.

They're just having a good time enjoying each other's company.

You know, it has been a pretty long week for all of us and they're just relaxing. OK?

All right. All right. Come on.

Good night. Good night.

Hi.

You know, Ralph isn't such a bad guy after all.

I know. Told you so.

I know. It's just that... Uh-uh.

We have a deal, buddy, and I'm holding you to it.

Ah, come on...

Now, look...

You know how I feel about you, and I want to.

I really do, you know that. (LAUGHS)

But I'm just not going to.

Some other time, maybe, but not here, and not now.

(GROANS)

I was thinking that maybe the atmosphere of this place would loosen you up a little.

Shit. (LAUGHING)

(GIGGLING)

(EXHALES)

(THUD) Ahh...

(STRAINING)

(BIG ED CHUCKLING EVILLY)

(DOOR CREAKING)

Ralph, do you know what we forgot?

(SIGHS)

Wait a minute, I think I've got one in my pack.

(CHUCKLES) No, dummy, we forgot to lock up for the night.

(SCOFFS) Lock up?

We're the only people on this island.

Come on.

Well, what about Mike and Linda?

They're still outside, you know.

Well, maybe you should go and try to find them.

At least make sure they're all right?

And, uh, I've got something to show you when you get back.

(COMICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, Lord, goodness gracious.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, the kitchen door's already locked, as if you didn't know.

ED AND PAM: Yes?

If you hear anyone wandering around downstairs, don't shoot, it's just me. Going down to lock up.

ED: Why are you gonna lock up? There's no one on the island except us.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, well, you know.

PAM: What about Mike and Linda? How will they get in?

Well, I'm going down to find them and tell them the fort's closing for the night.

If they want to come in, now is the time.

PAM: Be careful.

(IMITATING STAN LAUREL) Well, I certainly will.

(MOCKINGLY) "Do you know what we forgot to do, Ralph?

"We forgot to lock up."

Man, if that ain't bad enough, then I have to open up my big mouth.

"Yeah, what about Mike and Linda?"

(SIGHS)

"What about Mike and Linda, Ralph?"

(BEER SLOSHING)

(BURPS)

(CAN CLATTERS)

(WAVES CRASHING)

Mike!

Linda!

(SIGHS) Now, where would I be?

(CHUCKLES) Upstairs in bed. That's where I'd be.

(SIGHS)

(GROANING)

(WHISPERING) Mike?

Linda?

(SWITCH CLICKING)

Shit...

(WHISPERING) Why am I whispering?

There's absolutely no one else on this island but us.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Hey, Mike, you and Linda come on out now.

We need to lock up so we can go to bed.

(GROANS) Look, come on out.

Hey, I'm sorry for all those tricks I've ever played on you, and I promise, hey, I promise I'll never play any more tricks.

(CHUCKLES)

(METAL THUMPING)

(CONTINUES CHUCKLING)

(HUMMING)

Well, no wonder. (CHUCKLES)

Whoo-hoo!

Fallen asleep, huh?

(LOUD THUD)

All right!

(HUMMING)

Ta-da!

Not yet, huh?

Look, I gotta lock up, cos I got something to see upstairs.

(SIGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, boy.

Oh, guys, I'm really going to hate to do this, but I've got to make sure you're OK for the night.

No.

(CHUCKLES)

Even I couldn't do that.

(DOOR CREAKING)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

(BANGING)

(HANDLE CLATTERS)


(SOFTLY) Ed...

Ed?

Did you hear something?


Ralph?

(DOOR CREAKING)

(WHISPERING) Ed. Ed.


(SCREAMS)

Goddamn you, Ralph.


(DOOR OPENS)

Ed. Ed. Wake up.

(GASPS) What? What's the matter? Shh!

(WHISPERING) Listen. Something is wrong.

What, what is it?

All of the kids are missing.

What?

Mike and Linda's bed has never been slept in, and Sue and Ralph are gone.

We're alone. They're just playing a game or something.

Get up and help me look for the others. Leave me alone.

You've got to get up and help me!

All right. All right.

Not sleeping together is one thing, not sleeping at all is something else.

See?

(CHUCKLES) Ralph.

Come on. Hmm.

PAM: See?

Ralph?


(PAM GASPS) Whoa!

Where have you been? Where are the others?

I don't know. I'm scared. Something's wrong.

Girls, just calm down.

No, Mike and Linda have never come back.

Ralph went to go look for them, and now he's gone, too.

(SOBBING) Help me find him.

All right. All right. We'll find him.

Yeah, we'll look around down here.

You go upstairs and get dressed. OK.

There aren't many places to hide around here.

Yeah...

Here, put this on. What for?

We're leaving. Oh...

Hurry up, Sue. Coming.

Hurry up, Sue!

We can't leave without Ralph.

Oh, yes, we can. Come on.

I'm not leaving without Ralph.

Just to drive over to the Sheriff's Department on the mainland.

We'll be right back with help. I'm not leaving.

You've got to come. Let's take one last look around.

We'll be right back. One last look?

One last look?

All right.

OK, you two go around that side and I'll go this way.

Uh-uh, buddy, I'm sticking with you.

Why don't you two go around this side, and I'll go around that side?

PAM: Make it fast. OK.

(GASPING)

(CLATTERING)

(GASPING)

(COUGHING)

(SCREAMING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(CRYING OUT)

(SCREAMING)

(SUE GASPS) (THUMP)

Ralph?

Sue?

Sue?

(GASPS AND SCREAMS)

Oh, God! Oh, God, Ed, cover it up, cover it up!

(SOBBING INCONSOLABLY) OK, OK.

(PAM SCREAMS)

Oh, God!

(PAM SCREAMING)

We've got to get out of here.

(DOOR CREAKING)

(PAM SOBBING)

(WHISPERS) No, no! Let me out of here! Shh!

(RATTLES DOOR)

Let me out of here!


(BIG ED GRUNTS)

(AXE CLATTERS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)


(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Just stop! Leave him alone!

(GRUNTING)

(YELLING) No!

(ED SCREAMING)

(PAM GRUNTS) (BIG ED GROANS)

(BIG ED MOANING)

(GRUNTS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(PAM SOBBING)

(BIG ED LAUGHING) Stop!

(BIG ED GROANING)

(PAM STRAINING)

(BIG ED GROANING)

(ED SCREAMING)

Pam! Get me out of this.

(ED PANTING)

(SOBBING) Get me out of this!

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)

(AXE CLATTERS)

PAM: Come on.

PAM: Let's get out of here.

(PAM SOBBING)

(STAMMERS) You're gonna have to drive.

OK. OK. Come on.

(LOCK CLICKING)

You think he's dead?

Hell, yes, he's dead. They're all dead.

(SOBBING)

I can't believe it.

Give me the keys.

Pick it up. (PAM SOBBING)

How bad are you hurt? Pretty bad. I've got to get to a doctor.

I'm feeling funny.

Oh, you poor thing. Let's just get out of here.

OK.

(ENGINE CRANKING)

Aw, come on!

Quit pumping the gas! Now what?

Great, it's flooded!

Just give it a few seconds.

Don't you have a handkerchief or something?

Yeah.

PAM: Here, let me have your belt. OK.

Thanks.

Why don't we turn off the headlights? It'll save the battery.

Ed... Yeah?

Look!

Ahh. Come on. Come on! (ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Oh, come on!

(SCREAMS)

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Pam, start the car! For Christ's sake, start the car!

I'm trying! (ENGINE CRANKING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

We're gonna die, we're gonna die.

(ED SCREAMING)

PAM: Oh, God! No!

Look out! Stop. Get your hands off him!

Come out, you son of a bitch! Come on!

(PAM SOBBING)

I'll get it! I'll get it!

(BIG ED SCREAMING)

(HISSING)

(ENGINE STARTING)

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(GRUNTING)

Look. Look!

Help! Help!

Look. Look. Look.

(ED, PAM SOBBING)

(STRAINING)

ED: Help!

No!

(ENGINE REVVING)

No!

(CRASHING) (SCREAMING)

(SOBBING) Jesus Christ.

That's my dad...

(CRYING)

Pull forward!

(GROANING)

PAM: Watch out!

(MAN SCREAMING) (BIG ED LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING FADES AWAY) (SIRENS BLARING)

(PAM SCREAMING) (CAR DOORS SLAMMING)

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)

WOMAN: (OVER PA) Dr Ferrell, Dr Cooper, Dr Winborne, report to emergency reception' code blue.

How is she?

About the same.

(WOMAN ON PA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Hi

('FALL BREAK' PLAYING)

♪ When the leaves of summer turn to red and gold

♪ And the football games bring a hint of the cold

♪ Time to get away

♪ We'll pack the car with escape in mind

♪ Forgettin' about classes, leavin' books behind

♪ Time to get away

♪ Empty cootage sittin' on the shore

♪ Tourists all left about a month before

♪ And we're gonna have a good time

♪ Gonna have a good time

♪ Yeah, we're gonna have a good time

♪ We're goin' on a...

♪ A fall break

♪ Walkin' hand in hand in the moonlight

♪ In the moonlight

♪ We'll breathe the sweet salt air

♪ I swear we're never far

♪ We're goin' on a...

♪ A fall break

♪ Runnin' in the sand feelin' all right

♪ Feelin' all right

♪ And when you fall into my arms

♪ I'll break into your heart ♪

(MOTOR WHIRRING)