The Naked Kiss (1964) Script

I'm drunk, Kelly. Please.

What are you trying to do?

I'm drunk, Kelly. Please. I'm drunk. I'm drunk.

I'm drunk.

$800! You parasite!

I'm taking only what's coming to me.

Fifty, 60...

70, 75.

I'm not rolling you, you drunken leech.

I'm taking only the $75 that's coming to me.


Ten bucks. Is that right, Mike?

Why spend your own money on that punk?

Here's your ticket.

Thanks a lot, Griff.

I'll pay you back.

I'm giving you a break 'cause your brother was in my outfit.

I don't want to see you in this town again.

Bus depot.

Yeah. Just a minute. Griff?

Sam.

What's up, Sam? They're taking Danny to the hospital.

You want me to take his shift?

I'll pinch-hit for him tonight.

Please check my trunk. I'll send for it later.

Thank you, ma'am.

Where is the washroom, please?

Inside and to the right.

Thank you.

Get on it and get lost.

Pot roast tonight, Griff. I can't make it, Edna.

A w, I wanted to finish that game, Griff Danny's been taken to the hospital. His ulcer?

I'm pulling duty for him tonight.

What does "K" mean?

Oh, that's the name of the owner.

"K" is no name, Uncle Griff.

Bunny.

Yes, Daddy. Don't you fool around with that.

See you at home, Mike. Okay.

Bye, Daddy. Bye.

That's enough to make a bulldog bust its chain.


Traveling saleslady? Uh-huh.

Staying long?

Long enough to cover this territory.

Well, there's one hotel in town - special rates for salesmen.

What are you selling?

Angel Foam.

Champagne. Best on the market.

What are the, uh - What are the pens for?

Customers.

Well, how about a sample? Uh-uh.

No free sips.

I, uh -

I'm pretty good at popping the cork if the vintage is right.

Angel Foam - never heard of it.

It's an exclusive line I'm introducing in this state.

Domestic or imported?

Angel Foam goes down like liquid gold... and it comes up like slow dynamite... for the man of taste.

If you can afford it.

How much for a bull's-eye? Ten dollars a bottle.

Ten dollars? Well, that's dirt cheap.

Well, we practically give it away to the first customer.

It's called "goodwill" in business.

Ah, that's wonderful!

Just wonderful.

Thank you.

Not you. I'm talking about my hair.

You're crazy, mussin' it up that way.

Oh, you'll never know what a thrill this is.

It's all new.

New? Mm-hmm.

It's just grown back.

It fall out because you were sick? Uh-uh.

Don't tell me you had your head shaved.

Well, it wasn't my idea.

What happened?

It'll keep.

Well, at least you made a 10-spot on Angel Foam.

I thought you gave me a 20.

You didn't have enough wine to make you see double.

Oh.

"Moonlight Sonata."

My favorite.

I see myself on a boat when I hear that.

A boat on a lake... in the moonlight.

And leaves lazily falling on me.

What do you see? I'm tone-deaf.

You can, uh -

You can sleep here, but... just for tonight.

How long have you been a cop?

Is my badge that obvious?

Is mine?

Oh, I was taking no chances.

In my business, I have to.

Well, I don't see any battle scars.

That's because I practice the first rule of the house.

Get in with the local law first. It breaks the ice for later.

There'll be no later.

This town is clean.

What do you mean by that?

It means you and me will get along like noise and a hangover... if you pitch tent in my bivouac.

Boy, for a cop, you ought to read books.

"Goe-the," for instance.

"Go" who? Goethe, the poet.

He said, "Nothing is more terrible than active ignorance"... and, mister, you proved him 100% right.

I'm not gonna start a bubonic plague here.

Now, there's nothing personal, muffin.

If I let - I let you set up shop in this neighborhood... the people would chop me like a ripe banana.

Then why'd you buy my merchandise?

I - I was thirsty.

Across the river is a wide-open town - Del Mar Falls.

And it's not in this state.

There's a salon there, and I don't mean a beauty parlor.

Candy ä la carte.

Candy's a personal friend of mine.

I'll buy a bottle from you now and then.

What's your name? Kelly.

Your real name. K-E-double L-Y.

You'll be my ichiban.

That's a Japanese expression I picked up in Tokyo.

I know. It means "number one."

What's your name, tiger? Z - I mean, Griff.

Your real name.

G-R-I-double F.

Rank? Captain.

No uniform? Everybody knows me.

A reminder not to change brands.

"Angel Foam guarantees satisfaction."

That's almost as good as - as Candy's trademark.

What does Candy guarantee?

Indescribable pleasure.

She got it out of a book. It's stamped on all her glasses.

Tell her I sent you.

Kelly?

Yes, sir?

Didn't you forget something?

Oh. Thank you for the room, Captain.

You owe me 10 bucks change.

Uh-uh.

I never make change.


Good morning. You have a room for rent.

Please come in.

Here. Let me take that. Oh!

Thank you.

I'll show you the room.

This is the room.

It has a beautiful view. It faces the river.

Oh.

It's a family heirloom.

Do you realize we spend about a third of our lives in bed?

That's why to sleep in comfort is very important.

I used to say a little verse about it. Like to hear it?

Mm-hmm.

"Four corners to my bed.

"Four angels round my head -

"one to watch and one to pray... and two to bear my soul away."

I'd like to rent this room... and the four angels that go with it.

Oh, I'm so delighted.

I'm a stranger in town. Don't you need my character reference?

Your reference is that face, Miss Kelly.

Good heavens. I forgot.

I'll have to move Charlie out of your room.

Charlie?

I wouldn't want him to bother you while you're asleep.

I named it Charlie after a gentleman I was to marry.

I've kept this room ready for him... ever since I got the president's wire that Charlie was killed in the war.

That was 20 years ago.

Oh, I'd come up here all the time and talk to Charlie.

Last week, I realized the president was right - that Charlie was dead and I'd never get married.

Well, I'll move him downstairs.

Oh, he won't be in the way. You don't mind?

No. In fact, it'll do me good to talk to him now and then.

Well, he'll always agree with you.


Hello, Griff. Hi, Marshmallow.

Hey, Griff. I can get more refined types than the bonbons that work in this rathole.

I'll put Grantville on the map.

You will? You really think you can? Well, sure!

How can I lose with John Law on my team?

Are you sure you don't want a bonbon, Griff?

Get back to the stable.

He's not buying your chocolates, Candy.

Go earn your money. Check the stock.

Who you looking for, Griff? Kelly.

Kelly? No Kelly here. Do I know him?

Well, I sent her here.

Another female.

A pro, and she's got class.

Well, we can use a little class in this shop.

Just get a load of my bonbons. They're all a flock of broken-down bimmies.

All except Hatrack. Hatrack?

Mmm. The name suits her, all right.

There isn't a customer here who doesn't want to hang his fedora on her.

Hey, Hatrack. Come over here.

Did I do something wrong?

Oh, Griff.

How are you, Griff?

I'm so glad to see you again.

Do we know each other?

We met in the park in Grantville, near the fountain.

On a Thursday.

Don't you remember me?

Sure. You came in by bus.

Sure, I remember.

It was very kind of you to recommend me to Candy.

I just love selling bonbons.

You were a platinum blonde.

Oh, she was, but, uh, the color clashed with my upholstery... so I made her go back to her own natural peasant color.

The customer in the booth has a sweet tooth.

Are you going to stick around for a while, Griff?

The customer.

Bonbon, sir?

Boy, you sure pick 'em, Griff.

I sure can.

Then why that, uh, hangdog look when you learned that this Kelly didn't show?

How about a snort in the office?

I'm not thirsty.

Paris! Have you been to those places?

No. But these are originals.

Ultra, ultra expensive.

What about that factory outside of town?

Oh, I'm afraid there's no job open at Grant Mill.

Grant? Grant this, Grant that.

He seems to own everything around here.

His great-great-grandfather founded this town.

J.L. Grant is our most famous citizen.

Everybody calls him Grant.

J.L. Grant. Yes, I've read about him.

International playboy.

Château in Normandy, villa on the Riviera... private yacht in Monte Carlo.

Society's most eligible bachelor.

He's a hard worker, Miss Kelly.

He's no playboy.

His very name is a synonym for charity.

He's got the biggest heart in the world.

Why, he built our hospital.

He built the orthopedic medical center and sponsors it all by himself.

And it's open to all handicapped children with no racial or religious barriers.

Handicapped children?

It's a haven of hope for those angels - so little, so helpless and so pitifully crippled.

One more operation, and that baby will have straight feet.

What about that new patient, Anita Uphoff?

Oh, she'll do good with new braces and a pelvic band.

Now, uh, about Peanuts.

Oh, he's terrified. I know.

Dr. Tegmeyer's going to transfer some muscles down around the hip area.

That Kelly is some woman, Griff.

One day, she walked in here out of nowhere and -

I'll fill in lover boy with all the facts, Julia.

Hello, Mac, Dusty.

Where is this new nurse's aide I've been hearing about?

You too?

Um, Dr. Torrance asked you to meet him at Plastic Surgery in five minutes.

Right. Reception.

Yes, just a moment, please.

Miss McDowell, Dr. Gorsen. Yes, Doctor.

Right, Doctor.

Shoot this over to Radiology and then get Peanuts ready for surgery.

He's in the playroom.

Come on, Griff. Now you'll see the McCoy in action.

She came out of the clouds one night without a single reference.

I hired her on the spot.

I thought orthopedics called for specialized training.

Oh, it does.

Some people are born to write books, symphonies... paint pictures, build bridges.

But Kelly - she was born to handle children with crutches and babies in braces.

Sounds like one of those sweet Florence Nightingales.

Not Kelly! She's tough. Runs her ward like a pirate ship.

She makes Captain Bligh look like a sissy.


What do you want, a medal?

Every two years, you get new legs to grow on, don't you?

Why didn't you want to put 'em on? I got used to the others, skipper.

Ah!

Sit down.

Now, let me see you touch your toes.

Best thing in the world for him.

Exercises his back with his brand-new legs.

They're too far away.


That's a new low.

Using crippled kids to front your trade.

I quit my trade.

You'll have a problem breaking in those little girls to walk the street on crutches.

I washed my face clean the morning I woke up in your bedroom.

You got morals in my room?

Oh, you had nothing to do with it. Nothing.

It was your mirror. You must have taken a long look.

It was the longest look of my life.

I saw a broken-down piece of machinery.

Nothing but the buck, the bed and the bottle for the rest of my life.

That's what I saw.

A hooker moving in with the town virgin!

What an act!

How much did you score, honey?

How much did you tap at the hospital? How much Angel Foam did you peddle?

Oh, you ask.

You ask the doctors if I made a play for any one of them.

Ask them!

You were the only buyer I had in this town... and my last one.

You're coming with me, or I talk to Mac myself.

Look, Griff.

I'm trying your side of the fence.

Is there a law against it? Is there anything wrong with it?

Your face might fool a lot of these people... but not your body.

Your body's your only passport.

You're right.

I can renew a passport...

but I can't renew my body... or my face or my health.

Oh, look, Griff.

I'm trying to change.

Please help me.

Give me a break.

So the old man said, "White swan... if you pretend hard enough, I will change you into a little boy."

So the white swan pretended hard enough... and, all of a sudden, he was changed into a little boy.

So the old man told me... if I pretended hard enough, I could play games with the little boy.

I pretended hard enough... and, all of a sudden...

I was playing all kinds of games with the little boy.

And you know who the little boy was?

Kip, first mate of the Jolly Roger.

And we ran and we played on the grass.

I have legs! I have legs!

I have legs!

I have legs!

And who do you think we found as we played on the grass?

The whole crew of the Jolly Roger.

Every little girl and every little boy that pretended hard enough... was playing on the grass and having a whale of a time.

Barney?

This is for you.

Why so glum?

Well, it's, uh... the first time you didn't take me to Europe with you, Mr. Grant.

Quit griping, Barney. You got a dream job going all over the world with him.

How was it? Great.

This for real, Mr. Grant?

It's an authentic drinking cup used by the Gauls.

Is everything ready for tonight's party?

Yes, sir.

Is the, uh, Eroica tape all set up? Yes, sir.

Thank you, Barney.

Griff, how about mixing us a couple of drinks?


I can't wait.

This means...

"All things, by gentleness... may be made smooth."

And this is for the gentle Miss Josephine.

Oh!

Merci beaucoup.

And this is for Bunny. Oh!

The prettiest child in Grantville. Is it that doll?

The one we talked about. She'll treasure that all her life.

A little touch from the Rhine. - Danke schön.

Bitte schön. And, Buff, something from England.

A reminder of where you were born. Petticoat Lane?

No, my, uh, pretty little redcoat.

Piccadilly Circus.

And this is for Griff.

Good evening, Mac. Evening, Barney.

Oh, uh, this is Kelly.

Barney's the best martini virtuoso in the whole state.

Never touches the stuff.

I've heard about you, Miss Kelly. Highly complimentary.

Well, thank you, Barney.

Well, did the baron come back loaded with stuff?

Like always. Foreign gifts from all parts of the world.

Uh - Uh, did he get what I asked him for?

No luck. He just couldn't find the male version of Brigitte Bardot.

Well, lead on to the grape, Barney.

Oh, this is the founder of our town.

It's Grant's great-great-grandfather.

He's a doll.

Hi! - Hi, Mac.

- Hiya, Mac. Hi, Mac, dear. How are you?

Grant! Mac, how are you?

You look wonderful, darling.

Here. I want you to meet the lady who's making history in orthopedics.

Miss Kelly, Mr. Grant.

How do you do? Pleasure, Miss Kelly.

Everybody calls me Grant. And everybody calls her Kelly.

K-E-double L-Y.

Don't mind him. He's upset because he struck out.

He's been poking around the hospital ever since Kelly went into action.

Uh, what about me?

I'm a registered voter.

For those on duty tonight.

And, uh, I'm going to send a load of gifts to the kids at the hospital tomorrow.

I have something from Venice I believe you will like...

Miss, uh, K-E-double L-Y.

Thank you.

Would you like to have a seat, please? Thank you.

Oh. Venetian.

Seventeenth century.

From Venice.

I see myself by moonlight on the Lake of Lucerne... in a boat wandering through a leafy alley in a garden... and Beethoven's hands playing the "Moonlight Sonata."

He carved that sonata out of moonlight.

Was he in love when he wrote it?

Yes.

Did he marry her?

No, he - he never found the wife he was looking for.

How do you know he was looking for a wife?

What man isn't?

"A sweetheart is a bottle of wine.

A wife is a wine bottle."

Did Goethe write that?

Baudelaire. Oh.

Beethoven and Goethe were good friends.

Griff doesn't go for Beethoven. Griff is tone-deaf.

How did you know?

Well, I - I watched his face when we were singing the other night.

You sang very well.

I was happy.

"Happiness was born a twin."

Lord Byron.

My favorite poet.

Kelly, you baffle me.

Intellect is seldom a feature of physical beauty.

And that makes you a remarkable woman.

The most interesting contradiction I've met in years.

With a love of poetry - rare in this age of missiles.

Would you like to visit where Byron wrote many of his famous sonnets?

Venice?

I'm going to take you there right now.


I took these movies from a gondola.

That apartment on the left is where your friend Lord Byron wrote “Beppo."

That's where he swam the Grand Canal.

Hear that?

Hmm?

I hear the gondolier singing.

Do you?

If you pretend hard enough... and if you listen hard enough -

♪♪ you'll hear his fine Italian voice.

♪ Santa Lucia ♪

♪ Santa Lucia ♪


♪ Venite all'agile ♪

♪ Barchetta mia ♪

♪ Santa Lucia ♪

♪ Santa - ♪♪


♪ With a moo-moo here and a moo-moo there ♪

♪ Here a moo, there a moo Everywhere a moo-moo ♪

♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪

♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪

♪ And on this farm he had a duck ♪

♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ This job's for the birds. Aw, what's bothering you, Buff?

I'm not like you, Kelly.

I haven't got steel in my veins.

I get sick just - just looking at these poor little babies... let alone handling them.

I'm going to quit. I'm going to quit this job.

And it's gonna - it's gonna hurt Griff.

It's gonna hurt him bad. Why Griff?

He's been like a father to me, ever since mine was killed in Korea.

Griff got me this job.

He's so damn proud of me.

Say, I hear that young intern is taking you to the dance tonight.

He thinks he's Dr. Kildare. I think he's a bore.

You remember that lamé gown of mine?

The black-and-silver one? Mm-hmm.

I think Miss Josephine could fit you right into it.

Oh, that's great.

What's the matter, Miss Kelly? What's wrong?

I'm worried about Buff.

The door's open, Buff.

Would you care for a bonbon?

Would you care for a bonbon?

I made $25 tonight.

Ten, ten and five.

Where'd you get that money?

A woman gave it to me.

What woman? Candy. She runs a club across the river.

What's the 25 for?

It's an advance. I'm gonna be a bonbon.

Take off my dress!

No.

I paid $350 for that dress. I'll take it off myself.

Those bonbons aren't there just to serve drinks, you know.

I know.

You had that coming to you.

Candy said I could make $300 a week.

All right.

Go ahead.

You know what's different about the first night?

Nothing.

Nothing except it lasts forever. That's all.

You'll be sleeping on the skin of a nightmare for the rest of your life.

Oh, you're a beautiful girl, Buff.

Young.

Oh, they'll outbid each other for you.

You'll get compliments, clothes, cash.

You'll meet men you live on... and men who live on you.

And those are the only men you'll meet.

And after a steady grind of making every john feel at home... you'll become a block of ice.

And if you do happen to melt a little... you'll get slipped a tip behind Candy's back.

You'll be every man's wife-in-law and no man's wife.

Why, your world with Candy will become so warped... that you'll hate all men... and you'll hate yourself... because you'll become a social problem, a medical problem... a mental problem... and a despicable failure as a woman.


Isn't that wild?

Come on, sugar, tell me.

What do your mother and father call you? They call me once a month.

But everybody else calls me Marshmallow.

How'd a little cowgirl like you get to be a bonbon?

Oh, Candy advanced me a few dollars.

Oh, that's Candy.

And promised me a weekly intake of 300.

Well, that's Candy.

And also promised that I'd meet a handsome Don Juan.

That's me!

How about a belt to the private booth, huh?

No luck, Marshmallow! I've warned you before.

This mountain of money jollies is mine!

Lookin' for somebody?

The owner - Candy.

I'm Candy.

My name is Kelly.

Oh, yes. Um...

Griff told me about you.

Where have you been coasting?

I'll tell you in your office.

All right. Come on.

Well, well. Where did you get the new bonbon, Candy?

Come on, Zookie, none of that.

Now be a good boy. Take the hands off. That's it.

Karate champ - black-lace belt. That's me.

To the champ. The new champ.

Listen, new stuff, stay away from Zookie. He's my john exclusively.

Where's your office?

Come on.

Oh, that Redhead.

That's the fourth customer she's coldcocked with a karate punch.

Sit down. Let's talk bus -

Stop!

Cut it out! Cut it out!

That hurts! Kelly!

Now!

Ten.

Ten.

And five.

Now you stay away from Buff.

Time for a bonbon.

Come on, Zookie, wake up.


Wanna tell me about it?

Have you been to a doctor?


I'm glad we didn't go out tonight.

There's -

There's something I've got to get off my mind.

You've got the whole floor.

I'm afraid our dance is over.

The music's still playing.

Sit down.

Please. And listen to the words.

Please.

When I came to this town...

the first day I came...

I was a prostitute.

My first customer was my last one.

The next morning, I quit.

Now I'm in love with the man who's the dream of every woman -

every woman who has the right to dream.

With a man who's got to stop seeing me before the volcano erupts.

I love you, Kelly. Will you marry me?

I've got to think it out.

Oh, I've got to think it out.

I wasn't cut out to be a monk.

And you're not the type to turn nun.

But together we'll prove our whole existence for each other.

You're the only woman I want for my wife.

Oh, Charlie.

Charlie, what should I do?

If they condemn you for your past, I don't want them as my friends.

Kelly, darling... no one can forbid you tomorrow.

And I'm all your tomorrows. All of them.

That's right.

Why should Grant want to marry a woman like me?

Oh. Confidentially, Charlie... we girls are always chasing dreams.

But why shouldn't I have a right to catch mine?

Many people had a past like mine, and they made out, didn't they?

Or did they?

Aw, of course they did.

And you know why?

Because there was always a Rock of Gibraltar to give them strength.

Oh, and that's what Grant is.

Oh, he's the Rock - the Rock of Gibraltar.

Oh, Charlie.

We' d be living an endless honeymoon.

Charlie.

The dread of every woman in my business is ending up alone.

And I know that world.

And I know his world.

And that makes me a woman of two worlds.

And that's not good.

Or is it?

With him, I'm complete - a whole woman.

I'll never strike at your past, not even with a flower.

Oh, Charlie.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. What should I do?

Oh, it's a wonderful day, Barney.

It's 6:00 in the morning, Miss Kelly. It's a beautiful day.

Mr. Grant is still asleep.

It's a glorious day.


Oh.

I love you. It's a deal.

♪♪ You pick the place for the wedding.

Here, New York, Europe.

Right here in Grantville.

Where do you want the wedding breakfast?

Switzerland? You were born to ski.

Venice - where Lord Byron swam the Grand Canal.

I'll have you flown to Paris today.

You'll have your pick of the best designers in the world.

No, I'm going to pay for the wedding gown myself.

Oh, darling.

I've paid for every stitch on my back all of my life.

When I marry you, it'll probably be the last penny I lay out on my wardrobe.

I have very expensive tastes, you know.

This is your home, darling.

Oh, I'm so happy.

900, 1,000 even.

No abortion, understand?

Now, whether he marries you or not, you have that baby.

Boy or girl, I'll name it Kelly.

Uh-oh. Time for rehearsal.

♪ Mommy dear ♪

♪ Tell me, please ♪

♪ Is the world really round ♪

♪ Tell me where ♪

♪ Is the bluebird of happiness found ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Is the sky ♪

♪ Up above so blue ♪

♪ And when you were a child ♪

♪ Did your mommy tell you ♪

♪ What becomes of the sun ♪

♪ When it falls in the sea ♪

♪ And who lights it again ♪

♪ As bright can be ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Can't I fly ♪

♪ Without wings ♪

♪ Through the sky ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Mommy dear ♪

♪ Are there tears ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Little ones, little ones ♪

♪ Yes, the world's really round ♪

♪ And the bluebird you search for ♪

♪ It surely is found ♪

♪ And the sky up above ♪

♪ Is so blue and clear ♪

♪ So that you'll see the bluebird ♪

♪ If it should come near ♪

♪ And the sun doesn't fall ♪

♪ In the sea out of sight ♪

♪ All it does is make way ♪

♪ For the moon's pretty light ♪

♪ And if children could fly ♪

♪ There'd be no need for birds ♪

♪ And I cry, little ones ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm touched by your words ♪

♪ Don't be sad, Mommy dear ♪

♪ If it's true the world is round ♪

♪ I will search ♪

♪ Round the world ♪

♪ Till the bluebird is found ♪

♪ Little one, there's no need ♪

♪ To wander too far ♪

♪ For what you really seek ♪

♪ Is right here where you are ♪

♪ Show me where, Mommy dear ♪

♪ And here's what I will do ♪

♪ I will take ♪

♪ The dear bluebird ♪

♪ I will give it to you ♪

♪ Dear, the bluebird's the love in your heart ♪

♪ Pure and true ♪

♪ And I found it the day ♪

♪ Heaven blessed me ♪

♪ With you ♪♪ Hey, Sam, come here a minute.

Maybe you can figure out your boss. I can't.

I've just asked him to be best man, and look at his face.

I'm going to marry Kelly. Congratulations.

Thanks. What's the matter, Griff? Who's giving her away?

Dr. Gomez. And Josephine's gonna be maid of honor.

Wonderful. And, Sam, uh...

I'd like Joanne to be one of the flower girls.

She'll love it. Thanks.

Come on, Griff, get if off your chest.

I'm going to be a flower girl! I'm gonna be a flower girl!

I'm gonna be a flower girl!

Now, what did your daddy teach you to say?

Oh. Congratulations, Uncle Grant.

Thank you, Bunny.

C-A-T. Cat.

K-I-T-T-E-N.

Kitten.

D-O-G. Dog.

C-A-T Cat.

Uh, Paul.

C-A-T Cat.

K-I-T-T-E-N.

Kitten.

D-O-G. Dog.

Sylvia.

D-O-G. Dog.

C-A-T Cat.

K-I-T-

Well?

What is it, Griff?

What's the matter?

Grant asked me to be best man.

You've got 30 minutes to get out of town... and I don't mean finding a bed at Candy's across the river.

May I phone him?

I'll tell him sayonara for you.

He'll roll with the punch a lot easier if it comes from me.

Yeah, he would at that.

Mr. Grant, please.

Kelly.

I told him all about myself, Griff.

And about you and the $20.

No. I did not identify you.

And I told him my track record as a call girl before he asked me to marry him.

Hello, darling.

Hold on a minute.

Griff wants to tell you something.

Hello, Griff.

Hello? Hello?

I just - just wanted to tell you one thing.

You're the luckiest guy in the world. Congratulations.

I'll be seeing you later.

I'll see you.

That's the... big score -

falling in love with the right person and... being loved.

I'll be best man, Kelly.

Lotta luck, Kelly. Lotta luck.


Miss Kelly.

Oh.

You forgot the veil. The veil.

I still think it's bad luck to show him that dress... surprise or no surprise.

Barney has the day off, and I'm cooking dinner for him.

Bless you.

Have a good time.


♪ Mommy dear ♪

♪ Tell me, please ♪

♪ Is the world really round ♪

♪ Tell me where ♪

♪ Is the bluebird of happiness found ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Is the sky ♪

♪ Up above so blue ♪

♪ And when you were a child ♪

♪ Did your mommy tell you ♪

♪ What becomes of the sun ♪

♪ When it falls in the sea ♪

♪ And who lights it again ♪

♪ As bright can be ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Can't I fly ♪

♪ Without wings ♪

♪ Through the sky ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Mommy dear ♪

♪ Are there tears ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Little ones, little ones ♪

♪ Yes, the world's really round ♪ Now you know why I can never marry a normal woman.

That's why I love you.

You understand my sickness.

You've been conditioned to people like me.

You live in my world, and it will be an exciting world.

My darling... our - our marriage will be a paradise... because we're - we're both abnormal.

♪ There' d be no need for birds ♪

♪ And I cry, little ones ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm touched by your words ♪

♪ Don't be sad, Mommy dear ♪

♪ If it's true the world is round ♪

♪ I will search ♪

♪ Round the world ♪

♪ Till the bluebird is found ♪

♪ Little one, there's no need ♪

♪ To wander too far ♪

♪ For what you really seek ♪

♪ Is right here where you are ♪

♪ Show me where, Mommy dear ♪

♪ And here's what I will do ♪

♪ I will take ♪

♪ The dear bluebird ♪

♪ I will give it to you ♪♪


Once before, a man's kiss tasted like that.

He was put away in a psycho ward.

Oh, I got the same taste the first time Grant kissed me.

It was a -

What we call a - a “naked kiss."

It's the sign of a pervert.

I'm gonna keep asking you the same question until you tell me the truth.

Why did you kill him?

He was molesting a child.

He broke off the wedding. The child ran out.

So you tried blackmail. He couldn't marry a normal woman.

And he was going to have you pinched for extortion.

He said I would understand his weakness.

Kelly... we've had two cases of ravaged children in our county.

If by some freak they buy your story... it means the pressure will be off the real criminal.

He'll be free to attack other children.

Now do you understand why you can't use that stinking lie to save your neck!

My neck is in that little girl's hands!

Find her! Describe her!

I can't. What was she wearing?

I don't remember. What do you remember?

Oh, it - it was all a blur.

Everything was a blur.

Yes.

But the safety of that child, that was no blur.

You had to save her, didn't you? No!

No. I didn't think of saving her.

Of course you didn't, because there was no child. There was only Grant.

He dropped a bomb on you because he found out what you were... and he called you what you really are!

He called me abnormal.

Oh, you remember that? Yes.

How could you? You were supposed to be in a state of shock.

I've told you all I can remember.

Do you remember going to his house with your wedding dress?

Yes. What was it in?

Well, it was -

It was in a big cardboard box.

Do you remember killing him? Yes.

Do you remember a child? Yes.

But you don't know what she looked like.

Blonde? Brunette? Redhead? Brown eyes? Blue?

Five? Six? Seven? Eight?

Red dress? Green? White? You don't remember.

But you do remember him making a long speech to you... explaining his sickness and asking you to share his secret... but you just can't remember what the child looks like.

Well, your story stinks, Kelly!

You phoned me.

You told me you killed him.

You were in a well-rehearsed state of shock when I got there and found you sitting next to him.

The only thing missing was you muttering to yourself to really wrap up that phony staging.

I swear that's what happened!

You'd swear on a call-house roster!

What? What is it?

He's here. Oh.

Fine. In a moment.

An old friend of yours read all about you, Kelly.

Volunteered to pay his own expenses just to be a character witness.

You remember Mr. Farlunde?

Oh, you're not gonna talk to that P. I ., are you?

He was my tout. He's the lowest - I'll talk to anybody -

I'll talk to anybody that'll tell me what kind of an operator you were!

You ought to know. That will be on the record too.

In here, Mr. Farlunde.

Look at all the trouble you get into when I'm not around to watch out for you.

Hello, Captain.

What were your relations with this woman?

I was her, uh, business manager.

Farlunde, when I ask you a question, I want the right answer!

I was her procurer.

Why did you drop her from your stable?

Drop her?

She robbed me of 800 bucks and blew town.

And you'd take the word of that leech!

None of that!

How can I take the word of one of his breadwinners?

Look. Look, that parasite held out on me... held out on all of us.

So I got six of his best girls to walk out on him.

To get even, he spiked my drink with a knockout pill... and he cut off my hair!

I was bald!

I waited.

I waited until he was drunk, and then I took exactly what was coming to me -

$75 and not a penny more.

He has friends in the underworld.

The word was out to throw acid in my face, so I ran.

For two years, I worked only small towns until I came here.

Mr. Farlunde... you, uh, said something on the phone about a - a lobbyist.

Oh, yeah.

Kelly's job was to, uh... place a certain legislator under personal obligation... so that a certain bill would be passed in the state capital.

He didn't pass the bill, but it cost him a bankroll.

Kelly called it “borrowing." It was out-and-out blackmail.

And you'll testify to that in court? Oh, you bet.

Yeah? Who's out there?

Dusty. What are you doing here?

What can I do for her? Keep out of this mess.

She didn't keep out of mine.

Not interested. You'd better get back to the hospital.

I'm no longer there.

You're one of Mac's top nurses.

Come on in. Tell me what happened.

I had no one to turn to... no one to talk to... no one to help me.

Kelly gave me a thousand dollars to go away and have my baby.

Where would she get that kind of money?

She borrowed it from Grant.

Kelly.

Kelly!

Oh, what do you want now?

You said you never took one red cent from him.

Oh, why don't you try the Chinese water torture?

Maybe that'll make me change my story.

You tapped him for a thousand bucks.

Oh.

Dusty came here, didn't she?

Yep.

She should've kept her mouth shut.

How much did you actually squeeze out of Grant before he said, “No more"?

Don't use Dusty as a hammer.

Where'd you stash the rest of the money?

It would kill her if you used her to hit me.

Don't do it, Griff.

You couldn't be that low, even for a cop.

She wants to give it to the papers if it'll help you.

You really put on an act to win the hospital staff over, didn't you?

Please.

Please let me talk to Dusty.


Look, give me just two seconds with Dusty.

I know I can change her mind about this crazy scheme.

Maybe I will.

Thanks, Griff.

If you tell me why you went to Candy's place.

Oh!

Oh, I was waiting for that slut to show up.

Why did you go there?

Candy.

You really scraped the sewer to dig up your character witnesses, didn't you?

I hate being a fink, sweetie... but you put every call girl in the country right on the spot.

Get to the point.

All right.

All right.

Kelly came to me with an idea, like, uh, Murder Incorporated.

Only this would have been Blackmail incorporated - nationwide.

Naturally, I'm not buying that.

She told me how she was taking Grant for healthy payoffs... had him right where it hurts.

You know, family name, philanthropist... hospital, crippled kids - the full enchilada.

I told her, “Don't push an important john like Grant."

Oh, I told her, Griff. But she - she said she had him so scared... he was even making with the wedding talk... just to keep her quiet.

Well, don't you see? It's open-and-shut. He couldn't go through with the wedding.

He was gonna have the law down on her, so she killed him.

It's open-and-shut.

Kelly, you're a new low in our business.

Will you say all that in court? It's the truth. Why not?

She advanced Buff $25 to become a bonbon.

I returned the money.

Buff? Who's Buff?

A student nurse at the hospital.

Oh, come off of it, Griff. Are you kidding?

You know I don't have to shanghai girls from your town to replenish my stock.

What kind of a stable boss do you think I am?

I've got no time to break in baby baggage.

Hello, Buff.


Did that woman give you a $25 advance to work in her club across the river?

No.

I made a mistake.

Wrong girl.

I'm sorry, Buff. I shouldn't have bothered you.

Nobody shoves dirty money in my mouth.


Look what I made. Look what I made.

♪ What becomes of the sun ♪

♪ When it falls in the sea ♪

♪ And who lights it again ♪

♪ As bright can be ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Can't I fly ♪

♪ Without wings ♪

♪ Through the sky ♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ Mommy dear -♪♪ You. Little girl.

You, little girl.

You.

I won't hurt you.

Please, little girl. Little girl.

Please come here.

Come here!

Griff!

Griff!

Griff!

Griff, I just saw her playing in the alley.

The little girl. I remember the little girl.

No, you've got to believe me.

Griff, she's six or seven, blonde.

Oh, Daddy.

I had to lie.

I couldn't tell her what I was going to be.

Forgive me.

Forgive me.

All right.

Griff, let me in. Please let me in. I've got to talk to you.

Please, open the door.


Do you remember me?

No.

Of course you remember me.

You were at Uncle Grant's house.

You remember Uncle Grant, don't you?

Don't you remember Uncle Grant?

Oh, you certainly remember Uncle Grant! You know him!

You were at his house!

Don't you remember that?

Look at me!

Don't you remember me?

You know me!

Hey, now. Now, Bunny, nobody's going to hurt you.

Hey, I'm here.

Did you ever have a baby?

No.

I can't have a baby.

Pretend you had a baby.

Pretend that that child in the next room is your little girl.

Be gentle with her.

Make her trust you, like you.

Talk to her as you would to your - to your own child.

Not as Kelly... but as a mother.

Give it a try?

Come on, Bunny.

It's all right. It's all right, Bunny.

Nobody's going to hurt you.

Do you remember Uncle Grant?

Oh, yes. I love Uncle Grant.

Mommy said he won't be back for a long time.

Did you ever go to Uncle Grant's house... without your mommy and daddy?

Once.

Do you remember when you went there?

Yes, ma'am.

Uncle Grant gave me some candy.

He liked the dress Mommy bought for me.

He was showing me a new game.

He made me promise not to tell Mommy or Daddy or anybody... because this was a special game just for me.

Then you came in, and I ran out.

You're the lady with the big cardboard box.

Oh.

Why are you crying, lady?

Oh!

“Penal Code 1385 - Dismissal of an Action.

"The court may either of its own motion...

“or upon the application of the prosecuting attorney... and in furtherance of justice order an action to be dismissed."

You're off the hook, Kelly.

The judge and the D.A. gave you a clean bill of health.

The whole town's got you on a pedestal for what you did for the children.

They sure put up statues overnight around here, don't they?

You ought to have that shower fixed.

My trunk at the station? Yeah.

Well -

Thanks, Griff.

So long, tiger. Good luck, muffin.


Oh, Kelly!

She still owes me 10 bucks.

Then you'll be seeing her again.

She never makes change.