The Neighbors' Window (2019) Script

Ow! Oh my god…

Wow, are they down?

Nice job. That was fast.

Yeah, they’re whooped.

I thought I was gonna lose it when they wouldn’t quit with that Captain Underpants thing.

They have no idea what it was like to grow up back when kids got spanked.

Oh, god...

That looks good.

Have a little. - No, I shouldn't.

What the…?

What?

JACOB: Wow.

ALLI: Oh my god!

Oh, I can't watch.

As she keeps watching.

But seriously, they need to order some drapes.

It’s disgraceful.

Alright, stop drooling.

They’re christening the new apartment.

Do you think they really don’t think that people can see them?

Or are they getting off on it?

I just think they really don’t care.

Woah! - Woah.

That’s a new one.

She’s very flexible.

You know, he’s really hot too.

I didn’t say hot. I said flexible.

Do you think we should turn out the lights?

Why should we turn out the lights? We’re not doing anything.

They’re the ones who are…


ALLI: Just one more second!

We’re almost there.

JACOB: No! (Laughs) - ALLI: Alright.

OK, just keep holding it.

JACOB: No, he thinks that’s what a producer does.

Quick, quick, quick!

Quick, quick, quick!

JACOB: Well, that's because he doesn’t know exactly what happens in a studio session.

ALLI: How are you doing, Tanner?

ALLI: No, no, no! Into the toilet!

JACOB: It’s like the label’s being run by freakin’ teenagers.

JACOB: I know.

You’re still in here.

What did he do?

What? He missed the toilet.

Again? - Yes, again.

It's okay.

ALLI: Here, I need to...

JACOB: Look, no, I love the song and I will send it.

But honestly, I don’t think they give two shits about what I think anymore.

Okay.

Alright. Break a leg tonight.

Laters!

Sorry.

(Mockingly) Laters!

What is that supposed to mean?

I just spent my whole Saturday haggling about contracts and recoupment schedules while you guys were out having fun.

I would give anything to haggle about a recoupment schedule.

Why are you working out here?

Just the... Skype signal's better.

Are your friends home?

My friends? - Yeah.

Across the street?

Or are you working too hard to notice them?

Oh, shit.

Alright.

Fine, alright - I got it, thank you!

Woah, what happened to you today? - What happened to me?

I was juggling three kids all day by myself at the zoo in the snow. And one of them was snotty or poopy or hungry or had a scraped knee every 'effing second.

I had four hours of sleep last night!

Because I was up nursing or getting spit up on.

And then I got home and my husband is just chilling with his music bros and gawking at the neighbors with his dick hanging out.

Woah!

Hey guys, why don’t you go into your room for a little bit?

Here you go.

I’ll come in and hang out in a minute, okay?

I thought after three months they’d figure out there’s a whole building of people who live over here.

I swear to God, it’s like they live with us.

I think you might be overreacting a little.

Oh, do you?

Are you enjoying the binoculars you wanted for your birthday present to use in the Catskills?

Look, I know I’m not 22 and I’m tired all the time and my nipples feel like a piranha has been fucking gnawing at them.

But it’s just a little dispiriting the way you’re captivated by them.

Wait a minute. I don’t think I’m the only one who's captivated.

They’re like a car crash that you can’t look away from.

Okay, a beautiful sexy young car crash.

I didn’t say that!

I mean for real, do they have jobs?

Or clothes? All they do is host dance parties and sleep till noon and screw.

You have no idea what it feels like to have your face constantly rubbed --

Yes, I do!

What, you think I like talking about how many times Luther pooped or who’s doing drop off?

And I’m becoming the old geezer at work.

I’ve ever started getting grey pubic hairs.

Which I assume you haven’t noticed because when would you?

You’re not the only one who misses being 20.

Staying up all night.

Getting jiggy with it.

Getting jiggy with it?

You know that song came out before your friends were born.

Ow.

Well, it did! - Let’s stop talking.

Come here.

(Music starts: "Nobody Else Will Be There" by The National)

You said we’re not so tied together.

What did you mean?

Meet me in the stairwell in a second For a glass of gin.

Nobody else will be there then.

Nobody else will be there.

Oh, no! Oh yuck yuck yuck!

Can you remind me the building you live in?

I’m on my way.

It’s getting cold again but New York’s gorgeous.

It’s a subway day.

Nobody else will be there then.

Nobody else will be there.

Nobody else will be there then.

Nobody else will be there.

KID: Look it, look it!

ALLI: Well, can you get on standby?

Jesus, well what time does that get you in?

KID: That's a lot of tape.

Have you tried just ripping into them?

Okay, alright. Call me if you get on.

Goodbyes always take us Half an hour.

Can’t we just go home?

Nobody else will be there then.

Nobody else will be there.

Nobody else will be there then.

Nobody else will be there.


(Music ends.)


Hey.

Is that the guy?

Yeah.

Did he shave his head?

I guess so.

I guess I haven’t seen him in a while.

He doesn’t look so good.

No.

Do you think he’s hungover?

I don’t know.

KID: Daddy, Tanner bit my leg!

Why would you even have your leg near his mouth?

Okay, be good!

Can you give the phone to daddy?

Yeah, if you need to, just go to the blue whale room and let the kids run around.

It’s so dark in there, Luther will probably just fall asleep.

I know, I’m going to get in the tub with my book right now.

Okay.

See you then.


(Doorbell rings.)

(Door opens.)

Hi. Thank you!

Take care.


Are you okay?

Yeah.

What?

Do you live in that building right over there?

Yes.

I think...

I think our apartments might face each other.

Really?

You have a little girl and a boy and a baby.

I hope that doesn't seem creepy.

No.

Your children are...

Really adorable.

And hilarious.

My husband and I.

My husband...

Has been really sick.

And...

We would look over and see your kids and you or your husband, I guess.

Sitting up at night to feed the new baby.

It was...

It was...

JACOB: Hello?

Hi!

Hi mommy. - Hi sweetie pie.

How was it? - Good.

What did you do?

We saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex!

ALLI: You did?

Did Luther like it?

No, he cried.

And Daddy let us stop for milkshakes.

Oh, Daddy let you stop for milkshakes?

We gave Luther some milkshake. - You gave Luther some milkshake?

JACOB: Just a little bit! And he fell asleep.