The Outback (2012) Script

Of all the continents on the planet...

There is none quite like...


In its vas, dramatic wildernes...

Called... The Outback.

Where its majestic Uluru Mountains...

...and treacherous Bungle Bungles...

...and lush eucalyptus forests...... create a wonderful home for those that belong.

Hey, guys, w-what's the problem?

The problem is (gasps) we don't like freaky white koalas!

Yeah, what are you? Some kind of midget polar bear?

Or a mutated cotton ball?

You know, you shouldn't judge a bear by its fur.

I mean, I'm just like you.

You ain't nothing like us... 'cause you don't look like us.

You don't look like anyone around there.

So why don't you make like a leaf and leave?

Look at that rare white koala!

Higgens, we've finally found our golden ticket back to the carnival.

They're right. I don't belong here!

What are you doing, little bear?

Who are you?

My name is Hamish, And this is my dim-witted assistant, Higgens.


I'm just trying to look normal, like the other koala bears.

Well, there's no way to go through life.

What I mean, kid... is, the thing that makes you different could just be the thing that makes you great.

Different, huh ? You mean "freak."

What if I told you there is a place for special little fellows just like you?


Why sure! What's your name, kid?

I'm Johnny. Johnny?

Johnny the Amazing Albino Koala! I love it.

So what do I have to do?

Just be yourself.

But I've tried that!

Hey, Lug?

Five more minutes, Ma.

Come on, get up, you big lizard! Rise and shine.

Who said that? Hamish.

Didn't I just kick you and your monkey out of here?


I am willing to forgive.

If we can make a deal. What are you talking about, Hamish?

I'm talking about me, bringing you the biggest act to hit this carnival.

What? Is the monkey gonna light himself on fire?

No monkey, no fire. Just... him.

All right, Hamish. Booth 17.

And stay out of the big top.


Let's go, kid. Your fans await.

Where are we going?

Take a look!

Wow! Ta-da! Welcome to the carnival, kid.

Look at me! Look! I can fly!

What is that over there? Well, that's the big top, The main attraction.


You bet it's awsome.

But, uh, we're actually over this way.

"Freak Show"?!

First the freak show, and then the big top.

But I don't want to be in a freak show!

You'll love it, trust me.

Yuck. Hamish, everything here is so... weird!

Don't think weird.

Think... unique. And unique sells.

Now come and take a look at your new home.

I am not doing this.

You want to go back to the bush and get bullied? No.

They're gonna love you here.

Are you sure they'll like me?

'Course they will!

Go on, kid, do your thing.

I don't know Hamish. It's not even a real tree.

Go on! Go on!

Oh, look, Papa! A white koala bear!

I want to see! I want to see!


Oh, my, isn't he adorable!

He's incredible! And blazing white!

They like me.

What did I tell you! Yeah!

We want to have the monkey take our picture with it!

Everyone loves Johnny!

How do you like the carnival now, kid? It sure feels like I fit in much better here.

Come to the big top and see how The Amazing Wild Bushman... conquered the Outback single-handedly.

Oh, let's go!


What happened?

Where did everybody go?

Oh, don't worry, kid. They'll be back.

It's gonna be okay. Yeah, right.

Come on, Johnny. We'll make an even bigger show.

I'm gonna go see the Wild Bushman.

Uh, Johnny, this is a very bad idea.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...boys and girls...

...folks of all ages...

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Come on, this way, this way.

Why are we going this way? We don't want Lug to see us.

Oh. Doesn't he like us?

Okay, okay, I'm going.

...would like to introduce you to a man so fearsome, he's looked death in the eyes and laughed with pity.

A man so filled with courage, he's made lions and tigers run and hide.

The roughest, toughest hombre from here to Sri Lanka. The real deal with mass appeal,

The Wild Bushman!

G'day, mates!

Now let's have some fun.

It may be hard to believe, but the Wild Bushman was once a... skinny little lad, Who the girls never talked to and bullies used to pick on.

He realized something very important at an early age.

Monsters may strike from all directions.

But a true hero never gives up!

What a showmanship!

Oh, what I wouldn't give for ten percent of that action. That guy was really goo...


Powder Puff!

Hamish! help me! Higgens, do something.

You're the monkey. Swing in there.

No worries, little guy. I've got ya.

That's it!

I told you to stay out of the big top!

You don't even deserve a booth in the freak show.

Lug, baby, we can fix our show. Powder Puff's show is over.

No one cares about a white koala!

Don't even think about a new show, baby.

I was really starting to like being in the show.

Johnny, do not, I repeat, do not listen to that overgrown swamp toad.

We're gonna get our show back.

You're a super freak. The carnival's lucky to have you.

Yeah, sure, whatever. That attitude won't get you anywhere.

You need to believe in yourself.

Come on. Tell me. What do you want to do?

I just want to fit in.

I wish people like me for who I am. I wish I was like him.

Well, why can't you be?

You'll be an animal action adventurer, like the Wild Bushman, but with claws! We may even make it to the big top.

Hamish. I'm not an action adventurer.

Smoke and mirrors, kid. Smoke and mirrors.

It doesn't matter what you can do.

It only matters what they think you can do.

And we got to have PR.

So we'll need lots of pictures of Johnny being heroic.

We'll set up fights with Johnny taking on crocodiles and dingoes.

Hamish. Cute and cuddly meets totally fearless.

Everyone will think you're a hero! Now, go on, Johnny, look like a hero.

I'm a hero.

Well, we can work on that, but you look good.

Hold on, kid!

Johnny, the latch-- it's coming undone.

You have to push the red safety lever.

Push the what?


No way! I can't do it!

Yes, you can! I'm not gonna push that!

Johnny, push the lever! Johnny, give it a push!


Are you crazy!

Grab it, Johnny. Hurry, hurry.

Johnny, you should've pulled that lever.

Yeah, I know.

What are we gonna do now?

We've got to get back to the carnival.

The carnival's next stop is...

Precipice lake.

Well, where's that then?

Um, oh, it's, uh, it's this way, I think.

No, no, it's this way. We're lost and you won't admit it.

No. Maybe a little bit lost, Johnny, but mostly not lost.

Mostly not lost.

Well, that's good, we'll just find that on the map.

Wait for me!


Give it to me! Get off.

Where'd it go?

Let go of me! Oh no, no, no...

Whoa ! Look at all that water.


I know, Higgens. I see it, too.

I know, Higgens!

Get him!

Hold your ground.



Fire! Fire! Fire!

Mac? Are you okay?

I'll be all right.

Bog controls all the Water in the billabong, and he commands that all of you leave! Now!

Tell Bog we'll never give up our home.

We'll see. Attack!


Mac! Hurry!

Let's get out of here!

Kid, are you all right?

I think so.

G'day, mate.

Welcome to the billabong.

That was some mighty fancy footwork, fella!

Mighty fancy! Yeah!

You spared us a heck of a fight with them nasty dingoes.

Well, uh, well, I, uh...

Ran them off like they was cattle.

My name's Mac. Now what's yours, stranger?

My name is Joh... Huh?

The Koala Kid.

Koala Kid? Koala Kid?

Koala Kid? Trust me.

He's the roughest, toughest tree hanger from here to Sri Lanka.

The mammalian Australian. The real deal with mass appeal.

He's....... The Koala Kid.


Could you excuse us for a second, please?

Hamish, what are you doing? You said you wanted to be like the Wild Bushman.

I know, but I'm not. Well, here's your shot. Can't you see?

If we can sell Johnny as an action hero in the Outback, whoa-ho-ho, we'll get the crowds drooling back at the carnival.

But, Hamish... Just think.

Packed houses, adoring fans, first class travel, this is my...

I mean your ticket kid. Maybe even to the big top.

That's where you belong, isn't it? Well, I suppose, but I don't know if I. Wooah!

Looking good, Koala Kid.

I hope you're right, Hamish.

When I'm done promoting the Koala Kid, he'll be the hottest act in the carnival.

Ah, fresh, clean water. Such a luxury, isn't it?

Now tell me, Blacktooth, did you secure the billabong as I ordered?

Well, I... You see, it...

Well, we were about to take it. This fearsome albino koala showed up and dropped half a mountain on us.

A fearsome koala?

It's true.


He was like some crazed, avenging ghost.

He rode down avalanche of rocks, down upon our dingo warriors.

They call him... the Koala Kid. Blast!

I've spend months wearing down those stubborn billabong creatures.

I've harangued them until their spirits were all but broken.

And now this. This... Koala Kid. Koala Kid!

I control all the water in this valley.

I want that billabong.

Blacktooth, capture this Koala Kid and bring him to me.

I'll make an example of him for those filthy primates.

Fail me again, and I'll make the example out of you.

This... is... Outback!

Zimgardius Blabiosa!

These pictures are great. Makeup, can we get some powder on the Koala Kid, please?

White powder makeup... flying in.

Oh, and what's your name?

Some call me Princess, Honey Bear or Blue Eyes.

But most just call me Charlotte.

Well, thank you, Charlotte. No problem whatsoever.

What's going on here? A photo shoot with the Koala Kid.

Hamish and the Kid are gonna make us all famous.

Make you famous? You sure it's not the other way around?

Oh, come on, Miranda. There ain't no harm in it.

But the whole billabong's here. Nobody's watching the perimeter.

Aye, them dingoes will be back.

Bog never gives up. Well, who's Bog?

The old crocodile that stole me home along with me leg.

He lives on the other side of the valley and he's got his sights set on taking the billabong's water.

So best if you beware.

Then we better be prepared.

Your sister seems pretty mad.

She's just not used to having a real live celebrity around.

But I don't mind.

I should go talk to her.

Koala Kid? Give me a break.

I don't like people spying on me.

Spying? I wasn't s-spying on you.

Please, I was just checking out your... your form.

No, no, I mean your-your technique.

You could use a little less wrist and a little more forearm.

Oh, really? Show me.

Well, uh, something like this.

Or just, uh, go and get it.

Nice boomerang. His name's Basher. I'd say.

Aah! Yeah, that boomerang trick of yours is pretty cool.

Boomerang trick?

This trick saves lives.

Sorry, I just meant there are people who'd appreciate your talent.

Maybe even pay money to see it.

Let me set you straight, Koala Kid.

This is the Outback-- real life. So if it's all right with you, I'll just concentrate on keeping us alive.

Oh, there you are, Koala Kid. They need you for one more photo.

Oh, right. Photos.

What's wrong, Koala Kid? It's Miranda, isn't it?

Hmph, she is so bossy. Oh, please, Take me on an adventure with you. Please, Please!

Well, if it isn't the bad boys of the Outback? What's the matter?

Didn't expect to run into the Koala Kid, did you?

Charlotte, let's not be rude now.

We got a score to settle with you, Koala Kid.

Yeah. There's someone who really wants to meet you.

So why don't you come with us?

And don't cause us no hassle.


Leave the girl. Grab the albino.

Why are you running away, Koala Kid?

I'm just toying with them! Really?

I got them right where I want them.

My Make-up.

Hey, we're like twins. Uh, yeah, twins.

Give me your hand.

I can't make it up.


They're somewhere around here.

Maybe we should hide.

There he is!

Hurry! Grab him!

Let's get him back to Bog.


Oh, real heroic, Johnny.

What happened? They got Charlotte, and they're taking her to Bog. What?

But you were right there. Well....

Hey, don't you worry, Miranda. We'll get her back.

Yeah, we'll get her back. Higgens, this place is dangerous.

We got plenty of pictures. Let's grab Johnny and skedaddle.

Them dingoes are fast.

The only way we can catch them is if we cut through the Bungle Bungles.

The Bungle Bungles? What... What's a Bungle Bungle?

Nasty place.

The dingoes won't even go through there.

I am the only one who's ever come out of there alive.

That's why you're gonna lead us.

And what about you, Koala Kid? We could sure use your help.

Yes! Kid Koala! Yes! Please help us!

Unfortunately, folks, the Kid's got other pressing matters to attend to.

Why, even as we speak, there is a family of wallabies stranded up a tree...somewhere.

And we have to find that tree.

So good luck, g'day, good-bye, bye-bye now. But...

Oh, let him go. He couldn't save Charlotte before.

What makes you think he can now?

Oh, yeah? Well... Well, what?

Maybe I will help.

Don't bother. You're not needed.

Well, we'll see about that. 'Cause I'm going.

Hooray! The Koala Kid.

Welcome aboard, Kid.

Sir! And the Wombat Liberation Army will mount an aerial attack on Bog.

Will you all... excuse us for just one second?

Are you out of your mind? I know, I know, but I feel kind of responsible that Charlotte was taken.

Get over it.

We're lost in the middle of nowhere and we need to get to Precipice Lake.

But, Hamish, a true hero never gives up.

We should get moving if we're gonna make it to Precipice Lake in time.

Precipice Lake? Uh, excuse me, did you say Precipice Lake?

That's where Bog lives.

On second thought, this is perfect. They'll lead us right back to the carnival, and we'll get some great pictures of the Koala Kid in these terrible Bungle Bungle things.

Happy trails! Give them a lesson!

Wombat Air Battalion, prepare to attack Precipice Lake.

Wombats away!



Hooley Dooley!

Watch your step in the Bungle Bungles.

It could be your last.

Over here!

We need to cross the ravine or the journey ends here.

Well, that's a bit of a jump.

Even for me.

No need to jump when you got a bridge.

Well, this is ridiculous. That can't be safe.

You'd probably be right.

Anyone up for a little adventure?

I'm sure the Koala Kid is.

Me?! Yeah.

Did I say that out loud? Hold on now.

There is no way the Kid is going out there.

Figures. I'll go. What?

No, I'll go. No, I'll go.

I said I'll go. Fine. Go.

I didn't say today.

Kid, this is crazy.

I can do this. I can do this. Besides, I mean, I'm sure it's safe.

Higgens . Photo op, photo op.

Koala Kid? Who am I fooling?

This is where he dies. Quiet, Quint.

Oh, no!

Told you, he's dead.

Hop to. We need to find another way across to help him.

Pull yourself up!

And it's probably best not to look down!

Don't look down, don't look down. Don't look down.

Wh...? What? What?

Well, I'll be. He ain't dead.

Koala Kid, good on ya! You found a way across!

Just tryin' to do me part in some small way.

Well done!


What do you want, bird? You grabbed the wrong koala, genius.

What do you mean? We got him right here.


All is not lost.

The albino koala is leading a rescue party through the Bungle Bungles.

Koala Kid is coming for me?

If you hurry, you can beat them to the other side of the valley, where you can ambush them at Crossroads Pass.

Please. This is the Koala Kid, and he's probably really mad.

You guys are seriously in trouble now.

Not with you as a bargaining chip.

Then Crossroads Pass it is. Let's move!

Come on. We have to move faster if we're gonna save Charlotte.

How about that tree bridge back there? Now that was pretty heroic.

Yeah. Kind of? Whatever.


It was in the area of heroic, I think.

Poor boy. Silly sap.

Nobody move.

Well, well, what have we got here? A gaggle of blowins?

Let's see now, a 'roo... a tassie...

Never tasted tassie.

Oh, you'll be quite happy with a bit of tassie.

Happy as a dinky di?


Then let's put the sweets on the table.

That was a belt!

Who wants it?

Very rare albino meat. All fresh and delicious. Nice and tender.

Come and get it! Whoo-hoo.

Which one of you gets to eat me?

I'm only enough for one.

Mind your manners, fruit loop!

This tucker's mine.

Bug off, dipstick. I saw him first.

He's mine!

No, mine!


Good on ya, dill galloot. Clomp on ya's clacker.

I ain't hearin' it today.

Koala Kid!

He aced it again!

I cannot believe it myself.

How did he do that?

Are you all right?

Takes more than a couple of snakes to whip the Koala Kid.

Well, thank you for saving me.

I kind of owed you one, right?

Kid! Where did you go? We're in some kind of a cave! that'll be the end of him for sure. Quint!

Mac! Keep moving, and we'll meet you at Crossroads Pass.

We can't just leave them in there Don't worry.

Miranda's top-notch in tight spots.

And besides, she's got the Koala Kid with her.

You should warn a guy before you do that.

The wind's going in that direction.

It should lead us to the entrance.

How do you know that wasn't my favorite hair?

Our objective: take out Bog before the dingoes return with Charlotte.

Any means necessary. let's get dirty!

We're gonna need help to bring down this croc.


A light. Come on.

That's where we fell in.

We've been running in circles.

Oh, come on.

There's gotta be a way out of here.

K-K-K-Koala Kid? Oh!

Step away. Slowly. We don't want to get him mad.

I hope Johnny's okay. We gotta get him back to the carnival.

You're hurt.

Please don't eat me!

All right, all right.

You got a name?

No, huh? Then I think I'll call you...

Bull. Yeah, Bull.

You like that?

Oh, oh, easy.

It's okay, Miranda.

Koala Kid? What about the lizard? Heh.

How did you...? Taming wild beasts is kinda what I do.

Don't worry. Come on up.

You're just full of surprises.

Onward, steed! Hyah!

Take it easy! Easy!

Hang on.

Don't you ever come back!

Hmm? What's this?

He's a carnival act?

Cradle it in your paw.

Snap the wrist when you throw.

Yep, that's it. You catch on quick. I have a good teacher.

What's your name?

What do you mean?

Well, "Koala Kid," that can't be your real name.

No, it's, it's Johnny. Johnny. I like that.

We made it!

Thanks for everything, Bull. I owe you big-time.

You'll see me again. Just listen for my whistle.

Look at that.

It's incredible. I've never seen anything like it.

They're called the Min Min Lights.

Legend says that if they chase you and catch you, you'll disappear.

Hmm. Disappear? To where?

Out there, I guess. I never believed it.

Just some crazy story.

There was a time when I wanted to disappear, when I lived in a place where I didn't fit in.

Well... you fit in here.

Really? Really.

I wasn't very nice to you before, was I?

I have to admit, I thought you were... a phony.

Yeah. Yeah, about that... (chuckles)

But now I know you're for real, and that makes me feel... good about you.

Aw, ain't that sweet. Koala bears in love.

Ah! Why does she only keep hitting me?

No more boomerang, girly.

All right, Johnny, let's take 'em together.

Uh, together.

All right, fellas.

I'm only gonna warn you once.

Huh? I am dangerous.

Okay, now you're pushing me. You see, you don't want to push me.

Okay, I gotta warn you.

I know Tae Kwon Do.

What's Tae Kwon Do?

It's a Koala Kid specialty.

Well, well, well, heh.

Koala Kid.

More like Freak Show Johnny.


You're a carnival act?

You are a phony! Freak show, to be specific.

I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you. I trusted you!


You don't belong with us.

Just go.

What about them?

At least I know who they are.


Miranda! Charlotte!

Make one more move, and the little girl gets it.

What do you want, dingo? The albino.

He ran away.

What? She's right.

Probably back to the freak show.

So he wasn't much of a hero after all.

Oh, that's enough to break your heart.

Give me back my sister!

Bog wanted a koala. So this one will have to do.


Then take me.

Johnny, you're alive!

I was worried about you, kid.

Fellas, the carnival's right over there.

Ooh-ee, the carnival! What? I've never been. No!

I'm not going back there!

What? Why not?

'Cause I'm sick of being a freak.

But, Kid!

I wish I could disappear.

There she is. You boys ready?

Let's get our girl back.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the great Miranda.

You're going to help me take control of the billabong.

Never! Bog?

What? Behind you.

We want Miranda. And we aim to take her.

Then come and get her.

Come on, boys!

Oh! This should be fun.

(yelping) (groans)

It's only you and me now, pops.

Who are you calling "pops"?

Send a dingo to do a crocodile's job.

Come on, wombats!

Eeny, meeny, miny...!

Perfect score.

You can't stop me. No one can stop me.

Now I'm gonna take my new slave to the billabong personally and show every animal in the Outback Bog is in charge!


I need to take a soak in the lake before the journey and I don't wish to be disturbed. Got it?

We have to get help.

Kid, we've been looking all over for you. Just go away.

The carnival's right there. We're home free. What's the problem?

Problem is I ran away.

I just left her.

Johnny, don't think of it as running away.

Think of it as running towards what you really want, the big top.

I don't care about the big top. You do.

That koala girl really got to you, didn't she?

And I lied to her. I lied to everyone.

Koala Kid!


You're free!

Miranda gave herself up for me.

Now Bog's gonna use her to take over the billabong.


Mac tried to save her, but it didn't work.

She needs you.

But what can I do? Koala Kid, you can do anything.

You're a hero.

I'm no hero.

You saw the poster. I'm just a freak from the carnival!

That may be true, but you be a freak who rode an avalanche, made a bridge out of a tree, and tied up two enormous snakes like they was toys.

Those were all lucky mistakes! They ain't mistakes if you did them.

Look, I just can't do it!

Well, you fit in here.

All right, Johnny, let's take 'em together.

So what are you gonna do Johnny?

I know what I have to do, but... But what?

I'm no hero, Hamish. It's not about being a hero.

It's about being yourself.

I'm going back for her. I figured you would.

And I'll be with you.

You know I'm with you.

Oh! And I am, too. I'm in, too.

Although, he's probably gonna die.

Then let's do this.


Hey, Bull. I knew you'd come.

Don't worry; he's a friend.

You ready for some action, boy?

Let's take them together.

Where'd he pick up the lizard?


What? What do you want?

Well, look at what we got here.

Gentlemen. We are two travelers who've become lost on our journey.

The carnival is our home, yet we can't seem to find it.

If it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience to you fine fellows, we were wondering if you could possibly show us the way.

Oh, we'll show you the way.

Hey, fellas, we ain't looking for any trouble here.

We're brothers, eh?

Guys? Get them, boys.

What's all the racket?

Some carnival fools stopped by.

I sent the boys out for a little snack.

Carnival fools?!

You idiot. The albino was from the carnival.

Where did they go? Let's split up.

Right, let's find them.

And so now the show begins.

Back for more, eh?

Do it.

Cutter, was that you?

Butch, what's wrong?

Hex, you okay?

What's happening?

What do you think? We're under attack!

You'd better wake Bog up.

I'd rather deal with what's out there.

Me, too.

Blacktooth? Blacktooth?

No more dingoes, bird. You just shut your trap, before I... before I... Before you what? Hmm?


B-B-B-B-Before I take off!

Let's go.

Miranda. Which Johnny are you?

No more lies. Or running away.

Thank you.

I should thank you. But right now, we got to get out to here.

So, I finally get to meet the Koala Kid.

Actually, the name's Johnny. Johnny?

You think I'm going to let some freak carnival act come into my home.. and steal my prize?

I don't think so.

I'll show you a carnival act. Hold on!


What are you doing? The billabong's the other way! I'm getting rid of Bog once and for all.

Is he still behind us?

Still behind us!

What is going on?!

All right, Powder Puff, you are in major trouble.

Look at the lovely lizards!

I want one for a pet!

Hey! Stop that! Get away! No!

That's the big top!

The Wild Bushman!

Where did you come from?

All right, big boy, I'm ready for you.

Yes, Mother, a fritz sandwich would be nice.

Uh, what's your plan? It just got knocked out.

This show is over.

Now you're mine.

You little freak. You can't defeat me. I'm Bog.

I control you and all your billabong friends.

Good-bye, Koala Kid.


Johnny, you have to get up!

Come on!

You're finished!

Climb up, quick!

You can Run... but you can't hide!



Lug, baby, you gotta let us in!

Johnny, what are you doing up there?!

So, this is the carnival?



Hang on, I'm coming!





No worries, little gal. I've got ya.

Koala Kid for dinner, billabong animals for dessert.

It's a good day.

Not so fast, huh?

Cradle it in your paw, snap the wrist when you throw.


Hey, Johnny!


That was beautiful, Kid.

Johnny, you're a hero. As real as they come.

And you didn't die.

Hey, Powder Puff.

Remember when I told you your show was finished?

Lug, baby, we can...

I was wrong! You're center ring material.

Ready! Ready.


So, how are you liking the carnival?

I don't know. I don't really fit in. What about you?

I fit in wherever you are.

Hey, Johnny, where are you going? Your show's a hit!

I'm a white koala!

Whoo-hoo! I'm a mutant cotton ball! Yeah!

What do I got to be the midget polar bear?

Come on! We'll be late for the carnival!

Wait for me!

Look at my new pet.

What was that?

That's my cut.

You can talk? Shh...

That's a secret between you and me. Baby.