The Proud Family Movie (2005) Script

♪ The Proud family

♪ The Proud family

♪ Family, family, family ♪

(BUBBLING)

(LOW GRUMBLE)

(FISH CHATTER)

(CREATURE GROWLS)

(ROARS)


(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

(DR. CARVER II LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Ooh! Uh!

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Dr. Carver, preparations are complete.

Ha ha ha ha. Excellent, Cashew.

Let the experiment commence at once.

Uh, Doctor?

Your nose...

What? Do I have a booger?

Uh... No.

You just kinda got it...

Can... can you fix that?

(SQUEAK)

Now, then... Heh heh.

Operate the genome generator!

(POWER SURGING)

(ELECTRICITY BUZZES)

(BUZZING) (DINGS)

And now, a teeny drop of stabilizing formula.

(SIZZLING)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(RUMBLING)

(ROARS)

Heh, heh. I've done it!

I've turned a common unsalted peanut into a ragin' supergenome warrior!

(LAUGHING)

(ROARS)

(GROANING)

No! It's disintegratin'!

The combination of my years of research is disintegratin'!

How can this be?

Perhaps it's too evil.

No, no. It's supposed to be evil!

It must be the stabilizing formula.

If only...

I could perfect...

The stabilizin' formula.

(HISSING)

(YELLS)

Curses!

(ALARM BUZZING)

Uh-oh.

Look out!

(BOOM)

♪ Blowin' up, blowin' up, Blowin' up, blowin' up

♪ Blowin' up, blowin' up, Blowin' up

♪ Y'all know who I am... ♪ BIG BOY ON RADIO: Yo, what up, everybody? It's Big Boy on Wizard Kelly Radio.

That right there was the world premiere of 15 Cent's new joint Blowin' Up the Spot. (GIRLS GIGGLING)

Don't forget, girls, if you want to be one of 15's Spare Change Dancers, he's holding auditions today. (GIRLS SHRIEKING)

All lucky finalists will get a chance to join my man Mr. 1-5 all the way live onstage at this week's Extreme Stuffball Championship Halftime Extravaganza.

You know what? That track was so mellow and so nice, we gotta go ahead and bang it twice.

(GIRLS ALL TALKING AT ONCE) (TIRES SCREECHING)

Ooh, girl, 15 Cent's new joint is off the hook!

I can't wait for those dance auditions.

(GIGGLES) Me neither.

I've been practicing my Beyonce dance all week.

♪ Hey ♪ (HORN HONKS)

I just hope I can learn all the steps.

Hey, guys, am I popping, or am I lucky?

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Look out!

(CHILDREN SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

Ladies...

Proud, knowing your dad, I bet he won't even let you go to the dance auditions.

Uh, ladies.

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

For your information, LaCienega, I'm turnin' 16 tomorrow, and according to the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and Conjunction Junction, I'm officially mature enough to make my own decisions. Thank you.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Pipe down, you future crash test dummies!

(CLEARS THROAT) Now, then, let us continue with drivers' education.

Penny, hands at 10 and 2.

If we become the Spare Change Dancers, we can roll with 15 on his yacht.

Check it out, y'all!

(GIRLS SHRIEK) (TIRES SCREECH)

(GIRLS ALL TALKING AT ONCE)

Keep your dadblast eyes on the road!

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

PENNY: Yay!

Oh, look, Miss Hightower, I knocked over all the cones!

Yeah!

(GROANS)

Uh... You're supposed to knock over all the cones... Right?

PENNY: Daddy, can I? OSCAR: No way!

But... How can you... Keep dreamin'.

Not gonna happen. Daddy!

No daughter of mine is gonna be a backup dancer for some half-pint hip-hop hooligan!

I see those girls dancin' in videos, talkin' 'bout some...

(LAUGHING) Check out the back end!

Daddy, nobody dances like that anymore.

That girl on Soul Train does, and she's as old as Suga Mama.

(GIRLS CHANTING ON TV)

Ow!

This isn't fair!

All my friends are gonna be there.

Mama!

TRUDY: Oscar, Penny is getting older.

Don't you think she's mature enough to make her own decisions now?

Yes. Whatever.

♪ But the other's like, Sure he's hard

♪ They called My security guard

♪ SUV with sweet hydros

♪ Iced out watch With 8 time zones

♪ New pair of shoes... ♪

(LAUGHING)

I think 15 Cent is pretty fly.

Got the looks, the talent, ooh, just like a certain son of mine.

Oh, Mama, thank you!

Oh, get off me, boy!

I was talking about Bobby.

♪ Ow

♪ Here you go, Mama, Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ Mama, what are you doin' with all this stuff?

Sweepstakes. Ooh, me and Puff, we feelin' real lucky.

You know, you can win all kinds of prizes.

A car, a house, a cruise to Alaska.

You mean they'll put you on a cruise to Alaska?

Hey, I'll chip in for that.

Loan me a 10-spot, Trudy.

Then I'll hire somebody to punch a hole in the boat.

Ow!

Mama, have you seen my miniskirt?

Top drawer, left side.

And there better be plenty of skirt in that miniskirt, young lady! PENNY: Okay.

Why does that girl have to stress me out today?

I've got an important showcase for my latest snack invention.

(LAUGHS)

The Porknut!

Combining the nutrition and flavor of pork with the protein and crunch of a peanut.

It's a wholesome snack alternative guaranteed to improve your health...

And increase my wealth!

I've even cooked up a special dippin' sauce, And I got Bobby workin' on a catchy jingle.

♪ Porknuts

♪ They're half pork, Half nut, chile

♪ But all good

♪ And it taste like Whoa, yeah ♪ Check it out, y'all.

OSCAR: What in the...

Trudy, why is your daughter dressed like a... like a ho...

A wholesome teenager?

Oscar, I think Penny looks very fashionable.

It's what the kids wear nowadays.

(LAUGHING)

Not my kids!

Do you see Bebe and Cece dressed like that?

(BABBLING) (GIGGLING)

Oh, I can't wait till I grow up and move out of here so I can do whatever I want!

You wait. If anyone's movin' out of here and doin' whatever they want, it'll be me! (DOOR SLAMS)

Hey, of course I would bring you with me, honey.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Uh-huh.

OSCAR: Windsor's Academy for Snack Technology and Education!

(LAUGHS)

It's the big time, Bobby.

Do you know what it means to get into WASTE?

That means you'll stink.

It means the name Oscar Proud will go down in history alongside the great snack innovators of all time.

Danny Dorito, Freddy Frito, Polly Pringle.

You ever heard of them?

Uh... uh... uh... No.

That's 'cause none of them were ever members.

(LAUGHS)

DR. CARVER II: Hiya! Go!

Ha ha ha ha.

♪ My name is Carver, Y'all ♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Thank you. (CHUCKLING)

(BOARD MEMBER CLEARS THROAT)

Jumping... Peanuts?

Dr. Carver?

Artificially intelligent jumpin' peanuts.

Imagine the possibilities.

Hmm. As you know, Doctor...

In order to gain acceptance into the academy...

A candidate must demonstrate exceptional innovations in the...

Field of snack technology.

BOARD MEMBER 2: I'm sure you've heard of pudding in a cup.

I thought of the cup.

(EXCITED CHATTER) Very nice invention.

The cup? Oh, that was you.

You'd better recognize.

Well, you see, the problem with your research is...

It's always about...

Peanuts.

Peanuts are played out.

Done. They're passe.

How can you say that? I'm afraid we're going to have to deny your membership...

ALL: Again.

Let's go, boys.

You will regret this decision!

Trust me, gentlemen, the time is coming when peanutkind will finally get the respect they deserve!

(NERVOUS LAUGH)

If the board accepts me, I'll finally be recognized for my important contributions to snackology.

Whoa! (CRASH)

Man, would you watch out!

You fool!

Party people, make some noise!

Here comes Oscar Proud, inventor of...

The new and improved...

Porknut!

Half pork and half nut.

♪ But it's all, all, All, all, all, all, all

♪ Well, it's good ♪ And behold!

My special Kicking Donkey Dipping Sauce.

Not only does it add a potent, zesty flavor, but it locks in the potent, nutty freshness, too.

That way you never have to worry about an expiration date.

I just add a teeny-weeny drop of this, and...

(PORKNUT HISSING)

(PORKNUT GURGLING)

Huh?

Look out!

(RUMBLING)

Okay, did I say "dippin' sauce"?

I meant to say, uh, uh...

Behold. My instant, everlastin'

Porknut multiplyin' formula.

♪ Instant, everla... ♪ What was that last part?

Just roll with it, Bobby.

So, what do you think?

(GAGGING)

Membership denied!

Get him out of here!

Wait, wait. Didn't you hear what I said? They're everlastin'!

There's no expiration date.

These porknuts never go bad.

Proud, they never go good!

See that, boys?

An everlastin' multiplyin' formula.

Perhaps that's what we've been looking for.

(GIGGLES)

OSCAR: (LOUDLY) But, Trudy...

TRUDY: Oscar, quiet down.

You'll wake the twins. (SNORING)

Penny, that you?

Suga Mama. I'm... Uh...

Taking Puff for a walk.

Good Puff. (PUFF WHINES)

Okay, baby. Have fun.

(SNORING)

Come on, Denzel, give Suga Mama some sugar.

(MUFFLED WHINE)

GIRL: Oh, my gosh, I cannot wait for this.

All right, you juvenile J-Los, (GIRLS ALL TALKING) if you think you got what it takes to become...

Hey... I'm talkin'!

(SILENCE)

Now, if you think you got what it takes to become a Spare Change Dancer, then pay close attention, 'cause I'm only gonna do this one time.

Cue music. And work it!

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Can you do that one more time?

Here we go.

Cue music and...

(MUSIC PLAYING) Work it!

(CHILDREN MUTTERING)

Cut! Cut! Cut!

You can't do this. You can't do this.

You can't do this...

Oh, no. She's gonna point to me!

Zoey, relax. You can't do this...

Just be like a butterfly.

And you can't do this.

Dismissed.

Aw, man!

And I was just about to get krunk!

Wait, you can't dismiss her.

I mean, sure, she dances like a scarecrow, but she's a...

Dedicated, hard-working scarecrow.

Doesn't that count for anything?

Oh...You're right.

She can stay.

Yeah!

And you can go home, Miss Thang.

PENNY: What? (CHILDREN ALL GROAN)

Me? That's not fair!

I'm the best dancer here.

Get out the way, boy!

Security comin' through.

The Gross Sisters?

What are you guys doing here?

We security, fool.

15 hired us to bounce any clowns that stepped out of line.

So, let's go, Proud. Step!

Forget it, Nubia. You can't tell me what to do.

What? You tryin' to test me?

Olei, handle Miss Forehead.

(GROWLS)

15 CENT: A'ight, what seem to be the problem?

PENNY: Girl, that's 15 Cent!

(GIRLS SHRIEKING)

NUBIA: I don't know what y'all screamin' for.

Ain't no problem, 15.

Me and my girls are just about to take out the trash.

Start movin', Proud, and bring your friends.

15 CENT: A'ight, no. For real, though.

A'ight, hold up.

Come on, Sticky.

Sticky, you didn't tell me you were tight with 15 Cent.

Yeah. He's my cousin.

He is?

I guess that makes him my cousin-in-law. Hey!

Aw, back off me, Dijonay!

Ha ha. So, what's your name? Shout it.

Dijonay Jones.

Your cousin-in-law.

Not you.

Hi. My name is... Uh.

I'm talkin' to you... With the ponytails. Heh.

Me? I'm Penny Proud.

And my friends and I have been bustin' our butts to join the Spare Change Dancers, but this Debbie Allen wannabe keeps hatin' on everybody.

Please. 15, she can't dance.

Then teach her, Miss Choreographer, or you're dismissed.

Oh, snap!

I guess I can do this, Miss Thang!

(LAUGHING) (CHEERING)

(15 CENT LAUGHING)

I like your attitude, Penny Proud... with your ponytails.

And I would be proud to have you dance with me at that, uh, Stuffball Halftime thing.

(GIRLS ALL SHRIEKING)

Come on. Hold up!

I don't know what y'all screamin' about.

15 didn't say you were in.

Please, 15?

I can't be in your crew unless my girls are with me.

Lookin' out for your homies, huh?

I like that.

A'ight, they in.

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

Under one condition.

You let me drive you home, Ponytail.

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

Okay, this is the last stop.

Sticky, you and your girl gotta get up outta here.

Man, I'm not goin' anywhere with her.

And I'm not goin' anywhere without my man.

All right, then. Ponytail, hit that button right there.

(BEEP)

DIJONAY: (SHOUTING) I'll see you tomorrow, Penny!

(LAUGHING)

That's one of the best features in my brinks.

(MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY) Ooh, I like this song.

Ha. Yeah. I like to drop a little slow jam every now and then.

(VOCALIST SINGING INDISTINCTLY)

So, uh, this your house, right?

Look, I know what you doin'.

Tryin' to get me all alone.

But you can stop right there, player.

I read every issue of Dreamy Teen magazine, and I know all about your little rep.

So, if you think you gonna get a kiss on the first date, I'm-a just tell you straight up...

It ain't gonna happen.

Oh, the stuff in those magazines is all made up.

It is?

Yep. Remember that picture of me and Christina Aguilera?

Besides, if I'm late for my curfew, my moms'll go off.

Wait a minute. (CAR STARTS)

You mean...

It ain't gonna happen?

Nah. Seriously, it's gettin' late, and I gotta return my grandmama car.

(DIALING) Your grandmama's gonna have to wait.

Come here, boy.

(CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(MUFFLED MUSIC FROM CAR)

What?

♪ ...a year ♪

(KISSING)

Penny! (ECHOING)

This time you've gone too far, Penny Proud.

Not only are you forbidden from dancing in the halftime show, you're grounded... indefinitely!

Indefinitely?

What about my birthday party?

Canceled! In fact, your whole birthday is canceled!

And until you learn to show some respect, you're not even allowed to turn 16!

Oscar, isn't that a little unreasonable?

I wish you weren't my daddy.

What did you say?

I said I wish you weren't my daddy!

Well, right now I wish you weren't my daughter!

PENNY: Aah!

Trudy, where did this girl learn how to sass me like that?

Boy, will you shut up?

I'm tryin' to concentrate on my sweepstakes.

Come on, Lady Luck.

I can't believe that girl.

It's like I don't even know her anymore.

I even picked up a special birthday present for her and everything.

Honey, let me talk to her.

(EASY RHYTHM PLAYING)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Go away!

I come in peace.

(PENNY GROANS)

Here. I thought you might like to see this.

Ooh... What is it?

A special birthday present... from your father.

Ugh! No, thank you.

Oh, Penny, baby, your father loves you and only wants the best for you.

Even if he has a funny way of showing it sometimes.

What's funny? Canceling my birthday?

Embarrassing me in front of my friends?

Never letting me do what I want?

Oh, yeah, dad's a real comedian. Ha ha.

(CAR ENGINE RUMBLING)

DR. CARVER II: Step one, detain Oscar Proud.

Step two, procure everlastin' formula.

Step three, create army of genome warriors, then take over the world. Ha ha ha!

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Congratulations.

I'm very sorry, my parents aren't home right now.

Good night.

(DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY)

(BANGING ON DOOR)

Oh, you've got it all wrong, Mr. Proud.

Congratulations!

You're the winner of this month's grand prize.

Grand prize?

Whoo! Ha ha ha! Told ya!

Yeah!

Now... now, what do I get?

The house? The car? What?

The deluxe island vacation.

Pack your bags. The boat leaves in the morning.

SUGA MAMA: Heh heh heh!

Holler at your grandma. I'm off to the islands.

Come on, Puff.

But wait! The prize is for a deluxe island family vacation.

A vacation with my family?

Okay, punishment, I can take, but that's just cruel and unusual.

I'm not going.

I'm not goin' neither!

I've seen how much they charge for those snacks in the minibar.

Yeah. And you said this was the grand prize.

A vacation with my son is more like the booby prize.

For once, I agree with you, Mama.

Take her away, stranger.

Quick, Trudy, let's pack up the house and move before she comes back.

Now, wait a minute.

I think a vacation together could be just what this family needs.

Excuse me, sir, where did you say we were going again?

Legume island.

Legume island.

I've never heard of it.

Is it nice and relaxing?

Oh, it's to die for.

(SINISTER CACKLE)

Fantastic! We're all going.

But, Trudy... But, Trudy...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some swimsuit shopping to do.

(LAUGHING)

Congratulations! (LAUGHING)

TRUDY: Isn't this fun, family?

The smell of the ocean...

The wind in our hair.

(SUGA MAMA WHOOPING)

I feel like Bessie Coleman.

Oscar, you gotta try this one here. It's off the hook!

(SUGA MAMA WHOOPING) (WHIMPERING)

No way, Mama. You know I don't like heights.

Besides, if man was supposed to fly, he would've been born with dragon wings and a tail like you.

(SEAGULL SQUAWKS) Ha ha!

(SQUAWKING) OSCAR: Mama!

Excuse me, sir, how much longer until we get to this stupid place?

Legume Island dead ahead!

(SINISTER LAUGH)

(CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROWLING)

(CHATTERING)

(CHATTERING)

(GROWLING)

How do? How do?

Brother kinda funny lookin', ain't he?

I mean, look at the size of his melon.

Look like Jermaine Dupri.

Don't be so insensitive, Oscar.

He must be an island native.

How do?

Welcome to Legume Island.

My name is Cashew.

Follow me. I will show you to your quarters.

Ah, here we are.

I hope you will find everything you need for a comfortable stay.

Here's the keys to the minibar, and the jacuzzi's in the back.

A jacuzzi?

Baby, that's where I'm gonna be until my skin gets all wrinkly!

Too late for that, Mama. Yeah!

Ow!

Ahem. The owner of Legume Island has invited you all to join him at this evening's luau.

You will find your traditional island attire in the closet.

A luau!

Oh, Penny! I'll bet there will be lots of singing and dancing.

Ooh, and eligible bachelors!

Singing and dancing with Mom and Dad...

Finding a date for my grandma?

Oh, yeah, this is the best birthday ever!

Not!

Aah! What country does this flag represent?

It represents my fist!

Now, gimme those!

It's my suitcase, you nitwit!

Mom, can I have some of these peanuts from the minibar?

I'm hungry.

(STUTTERS)

That stuff cost a fortune!

Here. Have some porknuts.

They're filling, and they're delicious.

Mmm.

(RETCHING)

Oh, look, look, look, look!

Our traditional island attire.

Uh-uh. No way.

I am not wearing this!

I can't believe I'm wearing this.

(DRUM BEAT PLAYING)

Ladies and gentlemen, your host Dr. Marcus Garvey Carver II.

(PLAYING ORGAN) (APPLAUSE)

Thank you. And welcome to the Legume Room.

I see all the beautiful people are here tonight.

(GIGGLES)

Hmm. That cat looks familiar.

Do we know him?

Well, I'm gonna get to know him.

(WHOOPS)

SUGA MAMA: And he'll get a rare shot at the hairdo!

Oh, Suga Mama, you better cut it out.

You know you already have a man.

What about Papi?

Papi don't own no island, girl.

(LAUGHS)

And now it's my pleasure to present to you those high kickers of chaos, those dangerous dancers of the boom boom.

Put your hands together for the Legume Island Coconut Crew Revue.

♪ Ooh, ahh, ooh, ahh MAN: (JAMAICAN ACCENT) Welcome! Yeah, come on down.

Come on. Come on. Get up off your feet. Let's go.

Everybody, now!

♪ Light up the tiki torches Yeah.

♪ Kick off your socks and shoes

♪ Throw out your threads

♪ Lay down your dress, man

♪ What have you got to lose?

♪ Accept this invitation

♪ Change your state of mind

(GIGGLING)

♪ We gonna wiggle, We gonna jiggle

♪ Gonna laugh a little In the limbo line

♪ Ooh! Look out, now

♪ Ooh! Watch it, now

♪ Come on, watch it, Boom boom boom

♪ Welcome to the Legume Room

♪ No problems ♪ No worries

♪ Everything's all right

♪ Everyone go Boom boom boom

♪ Under the island moon

♪ Make the perfect sacrifice

♪ Shake, shake, shake

♪ Shake your booty In paradise

♪ Get up Get off your you know what

♪ Stand up Time to take a chance

♪ Mix and mingle The local nuts, yeah

♪ In an elated dance

♪ Come on, join the party Get up, move your feet

♪ Uh-huh Feel the rhythm

♪ Of the steel drum beat

♪ Shake your booty With a big ol' bowl of fruity

♪ On your head, Like it soft and sweet?

(LAUGHING)

♪ It's getting kinda crazy

♪ Hey, boom, boom, boom

♪ Welcome to the Legume Room

♪ No problems ♪ No worries

♪ Everything is all right

♪ Everyone go boom, Boom, boom

♪ Under the island moon

♪ Everything is cool and nice ♪ Not quite.

♪ Even though It's twice the price You'll pay!

♪ Make the perfect sacrifice

♪ Shake your booty In paradise ♪

(YELPS)

Yeah, man! (APPLAUSE)

Oh, Penny, don't you just love this tropical music?

Whatever.

Well, I'll bet you'll love this tune.

(SINGING)

♪ Happy, happy birthday

♪ Happy birthday

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ Make a wish, sweetie.

I wish...

I wish I could dance in the halftime show with 15 Cent.

Please, Daddy?

Forget it. Wish again.

(BEBE, CECE GIGGLING)

Then I wish I was away from you and this stupid island!

And kissing 15 Cent!

TRUDY: Oh, Penny...

What's cookin', good lookin'?

Uh, the word bacon comes to mind.

Um, Ms. Proud, the traditional island attire suits you well.

One could say you put the "moo" into muumuu.

(COWS MOOING)

I think he likes me.

Mr. Proud, perhaps I can interest you in a private tour of my estate.

Absolutely!

You know, you look real familiar to me.

Have we met?

I don't think we have.

No, I'm sure I've seen you somewhere.

And your face... you were singin' and dancin' and...

And you was actin' and rappin'.

I got it. You were in Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

You boogaloo shrimp!

No, no, no. How 'bout Beat Street?

Beat Street. King of the street.

(GROWLS)

I wish I could drive.

I wish I could stay up all night.

Oh, and I wish that grass skirt didn't give me this rash.

(BUSHES RUSTLING)

Who's there?

Don't mess with me, y'all!

Huh?

How do?

Cashew, you scared me!

I was just checking to see if you were okay.

You seem upset.

Yeah.

It's a long story.

Well, if you want to tell it, I'm all ears.

Actually, I'm all head, but, heh, you know what I mean.

Well, it all started on my third birthday.

Daddy didn't want to pay for a clown.

He's so cheap sometimes.

So he dressed up in Suga Mama's nightgown...

So embarrassed... And when I turned 4, Mom hired Thingy for my birthday.

Thingy and Daddy got into an argument, and then Thingy dropkicked Daddy.

Now, today's my 16th birthday.

It's supposed to be the best day of my life, right?

Right. But my dad said I couldn't audition to be a Spare Change Dancer, even though all my friends could.

So, I snuck out and went anyway and got busted kissin' 15 Cent, so my parents canceled my birthday party and dragged me on this trip, and now my big day is ruined because my dad keeps treatin' me like a baby!

(YAWNS)

Well, that really is a long story.

You know what it is, Cashew?

Sometimes... I just wish I had different parents.

I think you're lucky.

I wish I had parents.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm goin' on and on about my problems, and I didn't even realize that...

It's okay.

Here on the island, we're kinda like one big nutty family.

But there's times when I wonder what it would be like to have a real mom and dad.

Well, I'll tell you what.

If you ever wanna wear a burgundy sweater and skirt for the rest of your life, you can try having my parents.

Hey, nice crib, Doc.

Well, thank you.

Care for a pistachio?

(DR. CARVER LAUGHS)

You're my kind of man, Mr. Proud.

We're like two intellectual peas in a pod.

Two nuts in the same shell.

You see, like yours, my genius has never received its proper recognition.

In fact, I've been working on a revolutionary new concept... friendly humanoid peanuts.

It will attend to our every need.

Just think of the possibilities, Mr. Proud.

They could care for the elderly.

Look after our children.

Take over the world!

I mean, make over the squirrels.

(CHUCKLES)

I see the future, Mr. Proud, and it's nuts.

Ah, but the prototypes aren't turning out as I had hoped.

They won't stabilize.

It's like I need a... Oh, I don't know, instant everlasting multiplying formula or something.

Stop playing.

I've created an instant everlasting multiplying formula.

Maybe we could be partners.

As Suga Mama always told me, two geniuses are better than one halfwit.

Partners?

Sounds intriguing, but I don't know if I could offer you much for your expertise.

Maybe only...

$10 million?

(STUTTERING) Ten million dollars.

(OSCAR YELLING)

Ahem. I mean, that's a rather intriguing offer.

I'll have to discuss it with my wife.

(CHUCKLES)

Excellent!

Then I can expect your answer in the morning?

That's right.

(OSCAR LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)

OSCAR: Trudy! Trudy!

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Oh, Romeo Pistachio, come back! Come back!

Today's forecast calls for dry and roasted.

(CHANNELS CHANGING)

This local cable station stinks.

Puff, how about a dip in the jacuzzi?

OSCAR: Trudy!

We're gonna be rich! We're gonna be rich, baby.

Oscar... Dr. Carver offered me

$10 million to be his partner.

Ten million dollars?

What kind of jungle punch did you drink at the luau?

(LAUGHS)

Penny, where have you been?

It's well past your curfew, young lady.

Relax, Mom. I was just hanging out with Cashew.

What? You know what I told you about hanging out with boys.

You are a boy, ain't you? TRUDY: Oscar.

Fine. Let's go home, and I can hang out with my friends.

Hey, whoa! 'Cause they...

That's quite enough, you two!

Now, look, we're gonna start acting like a family and have fun on this vacation right now.

Do you hear me?

Yes. Yes.

Do you hear me?

Yes, ma'am! Yes, ma'am!

SUGA MAMA: You looking for me, Carvey?

(JINGLING)

Uh, hello, Miss Suga. Goodbye, Miss Suga.

Wait, wait, wait. Get him, Puff, and hit the lights.

(BARKING)

(SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Poetry

♪ I've got to keep you Pleased in every way I can

♪ Gonna give You all of me... ♪

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

♪ I'm never gonna Give you up ♪

(GROWLING)

Marcus, you can't join Suga Mama in the hot tub?

The water is just right.

(FLATULENCE)

Uh, thanks, but... oh.

I'm not wearing my swim trunks.

Well, what a coincidence.

Neither am I.

(BARK)

Oh, no.

(SUGA MAMA LAUGHS)

Penny. Penny?

Sorry, y'all. Big sis needs a vacation from this vacation.

See ya.

(SNORING)

(RINGING)

Time to get rich.

♪ Oscar Proud gonna Get rich now

♪ Oscar Proud gonna Get paid now

♪ I'm-a gonna get paid now

♪ I'm-a gonna get rich

♪ I'm-a gonna get rich, yaa

♪ I'm-a gonna get rich, yaa

♪ I'm-a gonna get paid now ♪ WALLY: Psst!

Who's there?

Over here.

(OSCAR LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

If you're looking for someone to rob, I know an old lady with a poodle who's loaded.

I'll even help you take her down.

(SCREAMS)

My name's Wally. And you are in danger!

No! You're in danger!

'Cause I ain't afraid to beat up no kid.

Listen. You need to get off this island.

Whatever you do, don't give Dr. Carver your formula.

He's planning to take over the world...

Mr. Proud, there you are.

Listen, last night, the most amazing thing popped into my head.

(LAUGHING)

(SCREAMS)

Oh, there's gotta be a way off of this island!

DR. CARVER II: I'm so happy you decided to accept my offer, Mr. Proud.

Here's to being partners.

Fifty-fifty.

(LAUGHS) How about that little thing we was talking about? You know...

Starts with a 10, ends with a million dollars?

The money, of course.

Fellas. (CLAPS)

It's all yours, Mr. Proud.

Ooh, baby! Heh. I think I'm gonna need a bigger wallet.

But first, ha ha ha, the everlasting formula, please.

Whatever you do, do not give Dr. Carver your formula.

Tell you what, Doc.

I'll be your partner, 50-50.

But the secret formula stays on my 50. Deal?

Mr. Proud, give me the formula.

Please!

I, uh, can't do that.

I don't have it with me on the island.

I keep it in a very special place.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very large check to cash.

By the way, is there an ATM on the island?

I have been a very patient man.

I want my formula! Give it! Give it! Give it! Give it!

Uh, Doc, you got something funny going on with your nose.

I have ways of finding things out, Mr. Proud.

Sinister ways.

Give me the tickle chair.

No! Not the tickle chair!

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHING)

Stop it.

Tell me where you've hidden the formula.

Never!

(GRUNTS) Peanuts.

DR. CARVER II: Tell me where you've hidden...

(SCREAMS)

The formula!

Never!

DR. CARVER II: Give me the formula.

I want that formula! Give it! Give it! Give it!

♪ All around The living room

♪ The boys and girls Are singing... ♪ I must say I'm impressed by your resilience, Mr. Proud.

But if you won't give me the formula, then you leave me no choice.

Bring in the clones.

OSCAR: Clones?

DR. CARVER II: Last night, while you and your loved ones enjoyed the luau, my servants surreptitiously collected a few of your personal items.

When I combine your Proud family DNA with my patented peanut cloning technology, the result will have you seeing double.

What the...

Clones?

Well, wait... They just like the real thing.

Exactly.

Except there's one difference.

(SCREAMS)

Clones, synchronize yourselves.

You have 48 hours to retrieve the instant everlasting formula and complete your mission.

ALL: Yes, Dr. Carver.

OSCAR: What about me and my family?

You and your family are gonna stay here and enjoy your deluxe island vacation...

Forever!

Do we have everything we need for the mission?

(BEEPING)

My wristwatch video communicator...

I must go back and get it.

We're finally leaving?

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Did you synchronize your wristwatch?

My watch?

Yeah. It says it's time to roll up out of here.

So, let's bounce.

What is the meaning of this "roll up out of here"?

It means it's time to go, Mama, duh.

VOICE 1 ON TAPE: Hello. How are you, my friend?

VOICE 2: Yo, yo. We're scruga-lugga, homey.

What's up, y'all? What we waiting for?

You're supposed to drive.

It's your mission assignment.

Duh.

Me? You want me to drive?

You never let me drive.

Is this some kind of joke? Where's the hidden camera?

I would never joke about the mission.

Okay. Thank you, Daddy.

I'm a really good driver. You'll see. (GIGGLES)

All right, adjust the mirror.

Hands at 10 and 2.

And ease away from the curb.

Oops!

Sorry. My bad.

OSCAR: And I was like, "Hey, the secret formula stays on my 50," and he was all, like, "Give me the formula."

And I was, like, "No can do." And he was, like, "Well, bring out the clones." I was, like, "Clones? Whatcha talkin' about, clones?"

Wham! Bam! Out step the clones.

Look just like us.

Except for Mama. Even more hideous.

Twice the...

Stop talking nonsense, boy.

I'm telling you it's true!

We gotta get out of this place!

Hey! Penny! Rise and shine, sweetie.

Vacation's over.

Where'd she go?

Okay, listen.

There's no time to panic. I'll get us out of here and find Penny.

Okay. Now, it's time to panic.

Help us! Help!

If you want to survive, you must come with me.

Immediately.

What?

Everyone is gone!

Must alert Dr. Carver.

OSCAR: Penny! There you are.

Oh, Penny!

Hmm? Have you been eating peanut butter or something?

We must hurry. We've got to get to the other side of the island.

There is only one person who can help you now.

Is this a new part of the mission?

Uh, yeah. We're on a mission to save our necks.

Now, let's move! Penny, I need you to carry the twins, and don't give me no lip.

(TWINS GIGGLE)

Now, that's more like it.

It's about time that girl started listening to me.

(GASPS)

WALLY: Quickly. We are almost to the summit.

Oscar?

Whoa! Oh.

Oscar, don't panic.

Okay. I told you, Trudy, I don't like heights.

SUGA MAMA: Whoo! Ahhh! Look out there!

It's not so bad, son.

Unless you look down. (LAUGHS)

Ahhh! That's not funny, Mama.

(SUGA MAMA LAUGHING)

Penny, be careful with the twins, now.

That's affirmative, Mother.

BOTH: Penny! Look out!

(YELLS)

What in the...

Oscar. Did you just see...

CAB DRIVER: 1433. Okay, we're here.

Your monetarial compensation, sir.

You may retain the balance.

A thousand bucks!

Thanks!

Family, primary mission begins in T-minus 3...2...1.

(GIGGLING)

LACIENEGA: Hey, pal. ZOEY: Hey, Penny.

What's up, P? How was your trip?

Um... Bizarre.

Ever since this morning, my mom's been talking like she's straight-up street.

Man, this whip is whack, homey.

Where's the secret formula, yo?

And Suga Mama, I can't even understand her.

No hay nada en esta caja.

And my dad's been acting...

Daughter, would you mind holding our currency?

Kinda cool.

Well, I bet he's still not cool enough to let you come to the dance rehearsal tomorrow.

Whatever, LaCienega.

I feel you, girl.

But as Spare Change Dancers, got some pre-rehearsal shopping to do.

GIRLS: Hey!

What is it, daughter?

Come on, Dad. Don't rub it in.

You know I'm the only one who can't go to the dance rehearsals.

Do you think your attendance will advance our primary mission?

Well, uh, yeah, I think so.

Most definitely.

Then perhaps you should participate.

For real? Oh, thank you.

You're the best daddy in the whole world!

FELIX: What's up, Oscar? My dawg.

Hello, Felix Boulevardez, next door neighbor and friend.

Right. So...

Are we on for the stuffball game tonight or what?

It's the semifinals, baby!

Hasta la lima!

TRUDY: Stuffball? Ooh, that's my game, dawg. Ya heard me?

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Speaking of herds, this hefty heifer has escaped from her barn.

(LAUGHS)

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Watch your mouth, you quirky caballero.

I've got some Spanish peanut in me.

(IN ENGLISH) Oscar, are you going tonight or what?

One moment, please, while I converse with my associates.

This could be an important fact-finding mission to see what these neighbors know about the secret formula.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a real spit, homey.

I'm with it. Muy bueno.

Felix Boulevardez, next door neighbor and friend, we accept your invitation.

Invitation? No. You're paying for these tickets.

Here's your monetarial compensation.

Will $5,000 cover everything?

Yes!

VOICE ON RADIO: Ya, y'all, Big Boy in the hood!

Now, don't forget tomorrow night is the Extreme Stuffball Championships with a halftime performance from my main man 15 Cent.

Big ups to all the lucky little mamas who made the cut to join in as the Spare Change Dancers.

All right, now, ooh, wow, now listen up, ladies.

Now, you girls must be supertalented, superfly, and you must have a supercool dad.

PENNY: Yes, I do.

The coolest.

(SHIVERING) This is some vacation.

I'm cold, I'm tired, my ribs are still hurting from that tickle chair, and I am hungry.

Mmm-mmm.

Didn't know peanuts so tasty, huh, Puff?

Mama! Where'd you get those peanuts?

I cleaned out the minibar before we left.

What? You gotta be crazy. Don't you know how much that stuff cost?

I'll give you $20 for a bite.

Puff?

(SPITS)

Here, help yourself.

(GROANS)

Mama, that... that is just straight-up nasty!

(GRUNTS)

Do you need a hand with that?

What are you doing?

I call it making a move.

Ahhh. Ooh.

Making a move is not part of the mission.

(THUDS AND GRUNTS)

Oscar, do you notice anything different about Penny?

(WALLY GRUNTING)

Yeah. She's finally handling boys the way I taught her.

Oscar, she's body-slamming that poor kid against the rock.

OSCAR: Well, seems like she's been working out.

But that's just the Proud blood pumping through her veins.

You see, we're strong people.

(CHANTING)

Uh-huh. And she's not complaining and whining like she always does, either.

That's in the Proud blood, too.

Isn't that a good thing?

Oh, Oscar, it's just...

My little girl's growing up so fast.

Before we know it, she'll be off to college, then a career, marriage, grandkids...

Whoa. Slow down, Trudy.

Bebe and Cece are still in diapers and you talking about grandkids?

I know, it's silly.

But, in some ways, I think I'm going to miss the old Penny.

Well, I'm gonna miss things, too.

Like tonight.

I'm missing the Wizard Kelly Extreme Stuffball Semifinals.

I bet everybody's there but me.

(FANFARE) (WHISTLE)

(YELLING)

Okay, let me get this straight.

Your dad, Oscar Proud, is gonna let you be a Spare Change Dancer?

I told you. My daddy's cool, now.

He lets me do whatever I want.

Whoa! Nice shoes!

(LAUGHS) Yeah!

My mom took me shopping and hooked me up.

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Wait. Hang on, LaCienega. It's D.

Hey, girl.

Your parents bought you a polyphonic camera phone?

I don't even have one of those.

Hey... Ooh. (CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hang on, Pen.

Zoey's hitting me on my two-way.

Hey.

What's up, girl?

Hang on, guys. My other line's beeping.

Hey, it's Dijonay.

Do you believe Penny's mom bought her a camera phone?

Stop playing. Penny, you got a new phone?

Yep. Check it out.

GIRLS: Dang!

Yo, yo, pigeon, come on, sister.

What's the 4-1-1 on Oscar's secret formula?

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Suga Mama, I must apologize for my rude behavior today.

(LAUGHS)

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Save your breath, you moldy muchacho.

PAPI: (IN SPANISH) Playing hard to get?

Hmmm... I like this new spicy taquito.

(LAUGHS)

Wiz Dome dogs.

Get your red hots. Come and get your dogs.

Yo, Oscar, are you hungry?

I'll get us some hot dogs.

Hey, yo! Two hot dogs over here.

(LAUGHTER)

Oscar, what did you do that for?

Sorry about that, man. Couple more dogs.

Here. Just take the whole thing.

Oh, my. This is, um, tasty!

ANNOUNCER: Whoo! That was some second quarter.

And now for our halftime entertainment, some brave man out there will get the chance to win...

(BURP)

...twelve wizard dollars by going one-on-one with the Extreme Stuffball Champ...

Mayhem the Mangler, y'all.

Any takers?

(CROWD CHEERS)

I must procure more hot dogs.

ANNOUNCER: And there's our brave volunteer right now, y'all.

MC: Is that Oscar Proud?

Go, Oscar!

Penny! Penny! That's your dad!

He's gonna get mangled.

Oh, no!

(LOW GROWL)

(CHEERING)

CROWD: Mangler! Mangler! Mangler! Mangler!

Where ya gonna be when Mayhem mania comes for thee?

Don't worry, Penny.

I'm sure your father will be okay.

It's all fake.

Fake? Zoey, that guy's gonna devour my daddy.

(GIGGLES) Cool.

MC: Now, here's the rules.

Your mission is to get the ball into the opponent's goal.

Other than that, just try not to get too much blood on the Wizard's nice shiny floor, y'all.

(GROWLS)

I'm gonna bust you up.

Primary mission, put the ball in the opponent's goal.

Go for it.

(YELLS)

Mayhem mania!

(YELLS)

Yo, what? No! Wait a second.

Wait a second! (SCREAMS)

Oh, no... not the face!

(GROANS)

(CHEERING)

Hasta la rima!

(CHEERS)

CROWD: Oscar! Oscar! Oscar! Oscar! Oscar! Oscar!

Yes, yes, y'all.

Well done, Oscar Proud.

Well, here is 12 Wizard dollars.

Attorney.

ATTORNEY: (SPEAKING FAST) Wizard dollars redeemable only at licensed Wizard Kelly concession stands in the 50 states and Puerto Rico.

Wizard dollars are copyrighted by Wizard Kelly and may not be used without expressed permission of Wizard Kelly.

Offer expires in 25 minutes, y'all.

MC: Well, Oscar Proud, what are you gonna do with all them Wizard dollars?

Dang, Penny. I've never seen your dad so hungry.

Your mama don't cook no more?

We made it.

He will be able to help you now.

He? He who?

(WHISPERING)

(LAUGHS)

Wally, you've done a good job.

Thank you, Father.

OSCAR: Father? Listen, man, I don't know what kind of freaky family tree you fell from, but from one dad to another, you gotta help me, man.

There's a guy on the other side of the island, and he's crazy... Dr. Carver. Looks like Boogaloo Shrimp!

I'm telling you, he outta his mind.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Trust me. Dr. Carver is not crazy.

What? How do you know?

Because I'm...

Dr. Carver.

(BEEPING)

Uh, you see, the Dr. Carver you've been dealing with is in fact my clone.

Clone?

This is a portrait of my great-great-grandfather...

George Washington Carver.

Is anyone here familiar with The Making of a Peanut?

Ooh, ooh. Me. Me. Me.

Ooh ooh ooh. I got it. I got it.

Oops, here we go.

Ahem.

George Washington Carver, 1864 to 1943, a renowned educator and agricultural researcher who invented over 300 uses for the common peanut, including shampoo, instant coffee, and, of course, peanut butter.

Very good, Mr. Proud.

Ha ha! Yeah, baby!

In your face, Suga Mama.

Shoo, you can't tell me nothing.

I know my nuts, now.

I know you're nuts, too.

(LAUGHING)

I was interested in peanut research as well.

Only instead of butter and soap, I hoped to create a new life form from the peanut genome.

So I moved to this remote island and began experimenting with peanut cloning technology.

My first attempt at cloning... went terribly wrong.

I had to scrap the experiment and turn 'em into peanut butter.

All except one.

(GROWLING)

My second round of experiments brought me closer to my goal.

I call these friendly creatures the Genomes.

They've become like family.

But I longed for a protege, an intellectual equal, someone to inherit all that I have learned.

So I mixed my own human DNA into the experiment and attempted to clone myself.

It was truly a success.

Unfortunately, one day I left him in the sun too long, and the results were disastrous.

(SCREAMING)

Don't worry. It's not as bad as you think.

Ooh, I'm gonna getcha.

I only wanted to create a companion.

But instead, I created a monster.

Then what happened?

He went bad.

Literally.

Ashamed by his appearance, he disguised his deformities and became obsessed with proving to the world what peanuts were capable of.

He began his own evil experiments and forced my peaceful Genomes to work for him.

All except for Wally here.

But recently, he's been working on something big... and possibly very, very bad.

(GASPS)

That's why he wanted my special Kicking Donkey Dipping Sauce.

But don't sweat. Those clones will never find out where I hid it.

Where did you hide it, Oscar?

Somewhere very special.

Inside Penny's birthday necklace.

Now, where did you put it, sweetie?

I... Uh...

Am unauthorized to answer your question.

OSCAR: What?

I think what she's trying to say is she didn't open your gift, Oscar.

It's still sitting in the box in Penny's bedroom back at home.

I have a boat that can get us off this island.

We must hurry. He must be stopped before it's too late.

Going somewhere? (EVIL LAUGH)

We know all about you, Dr. Peanut Brittle.

How did you find us?

(BEEPING)

Penny told me.

Penny?

Penny, no! What are you doing?

I can't believe it.

My own daughter sold us out. Penny, why?

I thought...

(EVIL LAUGH)

Take them away.

(SHOUTING)

Leave me alone! Get your hands off me!

(OSCAR YELLING)

(YAWNING) Morning, Suga Mama.

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Good morning, my granddaughter.

(GLASS BREAKING, CLATTERING)

Hey! Mama! Mom, what are you doing?

Yo, stop tripping, son.

I'm trying to peep out the secret formula.

Okay, try two eggs plus flour and milk.

That's the secret formula for pancakes.

We got any? 'Cause I'm starving.

Oh, snaps, you talking about food.

Yo, your boy OPZ's taking care of that.

OPZ?

Daughter. The hot dogs are almost complete.

OPZ?

Uh, I'll just have some juice.

On second thought, I'll pass on breakfast this morning.

Too long.

Too short.

Ooh, too cute!

(HORN HONKS)

Hey, 15! I'll be right down.

I'll see you guys after rehearsal.

Oh, and, Daddy, I never did say thanks for my birthday necklace.

I love it.

You're the bomb.

I'm the bomb?

(BEEPING)

Father, do you read me?

I have important news regarding the mission.

Daughter? I thought you were on your way to the rehearsal.

I'm still on the island.

The real Penny Proud is with you.

And she has the secret formula.

It's in her necklace.

You must retrieve it and return to Legume immediately.

Time is running out.

Do not fail the mission.

I will not fail the mission.

(GIRLS CHATTERING)

NUBIA: Listen up. All dancers to the stage.

Break a leg. Or Olei will break one for you.

Okay, people. Here's the scenario for the halftime show.

It's a love story.

15 Cent is trying to meet the girl of his dreams.

But she's keeping him on ice, a'ight?

15 CENT: You ready for the big time, Ponytails?

You just try to keep up.

Shh, shh, shh!

Quiet, everybody! Here we go.

Cue music and...

♪ Blowin' up, blowin' up, blowin' up, blowin' up ♪

(SNARLS)

Move it!

♪ Y'all know who I am... ♪ Be a butterfly.

Be a butterfly.

Careful, Zoey. You're blocking my view!

Okay, Penny, get ready to move in.

CHOREOGRAPHER: Let me feel it, now!

More energy!

(GIGGLING)

Wait a minute. Cut, cut, cut!

Who is this guy?

(ALL GASP)

Daddy?

Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

Hello, daughter.

I'm so sorry.

My dad was just checking in on me.

You can dismiss him, now.

Let's go, Mr. Proud.

Dismiss him? I haven't seen anyone move like that since that old woman on Soul Train.

Come on, pops. Do that thing again.

Show me what you're workin' with!

You mean... this?

(MUSIC STARTS)

I'm feelin' this!

I'm feeling this, too!

Dang! Mr. Proud is workin' it!

ALL: Go, Oscar. Go, Oscar. Go, Oscar.

Go, Oscar, go, Oscar, go, Oscar.

(VIDEO GAME TUNE)

Mama... Whassup?

This new cool version of Daddy is even worse than the original! Word!

In fact, I wish this whole family started acting normal again.

I'm exhausted from staying up all night

'cause nobody's given me a curfew.

That's for sure!

The house is a mess because no one's making me do any chores!

Bebe and Cece stink!

And if I ever have to even look at another hot dog again, I'm gonna be sick!

Go!

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Mexican hotdogs?

(GAGGING)

(PENNY RETCHES)

(LAUGHING)

Hey, PC!

How was the rehizzle for rizzle?

Great! I was a big hit with the kids.

And... oh, they even named a dance after me.

♪ Do the Oscar, Do the Oscar

♪ Do the Oscar, It's the Oscar

"It's my birthday..." They kept saying that.

(GROANS)

(PENNY GASPS)

How do?

Cashew? What are you doing here?

Oh... Just checkin' out your wardrobe.

You know, you could use a little more variety.

Okay. I stowed away on the boat and followed you here because I wanted to see what it was like to have a real family.

Only problem is, you don't have a real family, either.

Whatcha talkin' about, Cashew?

Your real family's still back on the island being held captive.

Those people downstairs are peanut clones sent here by the evil Dr. Marcus Garvey Carver... II... to find your father's secret formula so they can take over the world.

Hey! Is this cashmere?

Cashew... focus!

Are you telling me my family is a forgery?

(LAUGHING)

Oh, that's funny!

That's real funny.

Come on, let's go downstairs so I can let everybody know you're here.

(PENNY GIGGLING) You guys wouldn't believe who hitched a ride on the boat.

Cashew! And he's got this ridiculous idea that all of you guys are clones!

(PENNY GIGGLING)

That is ridiculous... Right?

BEBE: (DEEP VOICE) Yeah. That is ridiculous.

Who said that?

I did!

Now, gimme the necklace or I'm gonna go upside your head with this 10-pound dirty diaper.

See? I told ya.

Oh... I get it.

This is all a dream.

Penny ate a bad hot dog, and now Penny's imagining things.

Penny needs to go lie down, now.

Get her!

(SCREAMS)

PENNY: Bebe! Let me go!

I got it!

(BEBE LAUGHING EVILLY)

Oh! Gimme back my necklace, you fake Bebe!

Come on, Cece. We gotta go!

Take us home!

Mission accomplished!

Goodbye. See you, baby.

BEBE: We got it!

Come on, Cashew. I've gotta save my family.

And you're gonna help me.

Let's do this.

DR. CARVER II: Good news! Your clones have located the secret formula.

They're returning to the island at any minute...

Just in time to see your demise.

Carvey, how could you do this?

What about the other night in the hot tub?

Didn't that mean anything to you?

(GROANS) Ugh! Mama! You and Carver?

Yeah, we was in the hot tub together.

What you got to do with it?

And he gonna be your step-daddy. How you like that?

That's just straight-up nasty!

And then I said, "That's ridiculous, right?"

And then they said, "No more games."

Then I said, "Penny's dreaming!"

And then they said, "Get her!"

And then they took my necklace, and then they got into a helicopter and took off for the island!

Proud, that's the whackiest story I've ever heard!

People made from peanuts?

(LAUGHTER)

How do?

(ALL SCREAMING)

So, you believe me now?

(SILENCE)

Aw, he's actually kinda cute.

I could just dip ya in some chocolate and eat you right up, you so cute!

Look, y'all, I've gotta get back to that island and save my family!

Well, if you goin', we goin', too.

You guys would do that for me?

We're your best friends, Penny.

That means we're like family!

So, if your family is in trouble, then doggone it, our family is in trouble!

Can I get an amen?

Such a dork.

Oh, thanks, guys!

Now, if we only knew someone with a really fast boat...

Hold it! Nuh-uh! No way!

I am not doin' that!

Ah! Don't touch anything!

If 15 finds out I stole his yacht, I'll be kicked outta his entourage.

Sticky, it's pronounced yacht.

Yetch, yacht... they both boats, okay, girl?

PENNY: All hands on deck!

Operation Family Liberation is a go.

NUBIA: Uh... You're not going anywhere, Proud.

Nubia, I don't have time to trip with you right now.

I don't care. 15 Cent paid us to guard his boat.

So if you want it... You gotta match his offer.

Cough up the cabbage.

Fine. You want my money, go ahead and take it.

It's in my backpack.

How do?

(SCREAMING)

(SPLASH)

Punch it, Proud!

Bye, Nubia!

It's on, now!

And now the time has come to reveal my crowning achievement...

My masterpieces!

It can't be! Are those...

BOTH: Genetically engineered Supergenomes.

But I abandoned my research on the agriculturally engineered supersoldiers years ago.

I could never get them to stabilize.

Neither could I. But if my hunch is correct, Oscar Proud's everlasting multiplying formula will certainly change that.

Peanuts.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

They've multiplied...

They've stabilized...

I'm an evil genius!

No one will ever mock the accomplishments of a peanut again!

I will rule the world!

After I sing my song.

Song? What song?

♪ If I ruled the world...

I know this fool ain't about to sing.

♪ I would make sure my clones don't give any slack

♪ If I ruled the world

♪ I would treat people bad That's a well-known fact

♪ Imagine that

♪ Now, let met tell ya a Little somethin' 'bout me

♪ Go 'head

♪ My name is Carver, y'all

♪ Just call me Dr. C

♪ And when my plan is in effect

♪ I'm gonna be boss of me

♪ I got the secret genes ♪ Yes, sir!

♪ I got some Genomes, too

♪ We're goin' overseas

♪ We're gonna get rid of you

♪ Peanut for president

♪ That makes us VIPs

♪ Broadcast on nightly news

♪ I'll see you cryin' On your knees

♪ That's how The world will change

♪ My time For fortune and fame

♪ You got yourself To blame

♪ You all will Scream my name

♪ Hail to the peanut king Hail to the peanut king

♪ Hail to the peanut king

♪ He's bad ♪ He's mean

♪ He's cool ♪ He stinks...

DR. CARVER II: Whoa. Who said that?

Sorry, dawg. That's okay.

Take him away!

♪ I'll make it evil Just like me

♪ It's been this way Through history

♪ You wait and see ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go, Let's go, go, go

♪ I'll feed you all To my sea beast

♪ And watch him While he has a feast

♪ It's peanut time To say the least

♪ World ♪ Domination

♪ Warriors

♪ That's us!

♪ Clone ♪ Everyone

♪ Mankind

♪ You're gonna Be annihilated

♪ Take over ♪ All peanuts

♪ Genomes

♪ March, march

♪ Peanuts ♪ Superior

♪ Carver

♪ Nuts ♪

(NEON SIGN CRACKLES)

He sure is.

MC: Please rise for the national anthem.

♪ Oh, say

♪ Can you

♪ See

♪ By... the ♪

♪ Dawn's

♪ Early light

♪ What so proud...

(SNORING)

♪ Proud... ♪ CROWD: Boo!

This is the moment of truth, troops!

Today, we separate the men from the macadamias.

Let's load up! Yes, sir!

CLONE LEADER: All right, troops, you heard the order!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Move it, move it, move it!

I must say... It's a beautiful day for stuffball.

Perhaps my army and I will...

Drop in... on the action! (LAUGHING EVILLY)

Oscar, that deranged nut Carver's planning to take over the town during that stuffball championship game with those super peanut people!

Well, ain't you a quick study, Mrs. Proud?

By half time the world will be mine!

You'll never get away with this, Carver!

Hah! Good luck stopping me!

Penny.

(ROARS)

(OSCAR SCREAMS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Come on, Penny. I shouldn't have canceled your birthday. I'm sorry.

As of this minute, it's officially un-canceled!

Penny!

When we get home, this girl is so grounded!

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

STICKY: Slow down, Penny. You're comin' in way too fast!

Relax! It's not the first time I've driven a boat.

(CRASH)

PENNY: Oops! (WEAK LAUGH)

It's the second time I've driven a boat.

Abandon ship, everybody!

(ALL SCREAMING)

We sunk 15 Cent's yacht!

It's pronounced yacht!

Yetch, yacht. Zoey, don't you start with me!

So what's the game plan, P?

Find my parents and get up outta here.

But first...

I think we have to get past those leering eyeballs hiding in the bushes.

LACIENEGA: More peanuts?

I'll have you know that I am skilled in the ancient art of karate.

Hi-yah!

Our people aren't traditional fighters.

There's only one way to get past 'em.

ZOEY: Create a diversion and launch a surprise attack on their rear flank?

CASHEW: No. Battle dance.

(BREAKDANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Universal people lookin' for the perfect beat

♪ Moto-motivation lookin' for the perfect beat

♪ Mighty zulu nation, they have found the perfect beat

♪ Like apricot and butter, I present the perfect beat

♪ Beat, beat, beat, beat

(RECORD-SCRATCHING BEAT)

♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat, searchin' for the perfect beat

♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat, seekin' for the perfect beat

♪ If there's no satisfaction, just take action

♪ Listen up, listen up

(CHILDREN SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENT)

PENNY: Come on, Sticky!

♪ If it makes ya satisfied, just get a pony and ride

♪ Giddyup, giddyup

♪ When you're lookin' for a perfect beat...

Go on, Zoey.

Serve that fool!

I can't. I can't.

You can do it, Z. Just be a butterfly.

Be a butterfly. Be a butterfly. Be...

Oh, just be a stupid butterfly already!

♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat

♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat

♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat

♪ Say, we like the body, rock the party

♪ Party, party...

ZOEY: Yeah, boy!

♪ Say we like the body, rock the party

♪ Party, party

♪ Say we like the body, rock the party

♪ We like the instapop the party

♪ Party, party, party ♪

Hey!

♪ Let's do this, our music Zoey!

♪ Must exercise their course in Shakespeare

♪ Which is life upon a stage

♪ We say, life... ♪ And where I'm from...

That's how we do it. Ya heard me?

Hollah! Hollah!

(GIRLS CHEERING)

(SCREAMING)

Bobo?

(ROARS)

Bobo! Is that you?

Carver?

ALL: Huh?

I haven't seen you since you escaped into the sea!

I've missed you, Bobo!

Well... You was trying to turn me into peanut butter.

Oh, sorry. Ha. Ahem.

I overreacted. Think you'll forgive me?

All right. It's cool.

Oh, that's touching.

Kinda freaky... But that's touching.

TRUDY: Penny!

OSCAR: Penny! Hey!

We your family, girl! Why don't you get us down from here?

PENNY: Because she's not the real Penny!

I am!

Penny!

Clones! Get 'em!

CLONE LEADER: Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Move it, move it, move it!

(SCREAMS)

Wow, Penny. She looks nothing like you!

I mean, your forehead is way bigger than hers.

(SCREAMS)

You 'bout to get your butt whooped!

Getting my butt whooped is not part of the mission.

(ALL GASP)

And I will not fail the mission.

Wait, clone daddy! It doesn't have to be this way!

Remember all the good times we had?

You can help us!

Do it for me. Do it for my family.

Do it for...

The hot dogs!

Hot dogs?

I do like hot dogs.

Where you gonna be when Oscar-mania comes for thee?

(CRASHING)

(CHEERING)

(LAUGHING)

TRUDY: How can we stop him? He's getting away!

(ALL SIGHING)

Uh... Doctor?

Uh... Peanut butter?

ALL: Huh?

When my early experiments went bad, I used a powerful peanut liquification gas to turn them into peanut butter.

CASHEW: It's real potent stuff.

One small dose can destroy the entire Super-G army.

I always keep some on me in case of emergencies.

My name is Carver, y'all!

Penny, what the... Wait, Penny, stop!

OSCAR: Penny!

Ahhh!

ALL: Penny!

♪ Oh, say does CROWD: Boo! ♪ That star

♪ Span-gled

♪ Banner... ♪ MC: Bobby Proud, y'all.

(SILENCE)

Bobby Proud, y'all!

WOMAN: He stinks, Wizard!

Let's play stuffball, y'all!

ALL: Yay! Yay!

CROWD: Oh!

Good evening, everyone.

I'm Dr. Marcus Garvey Carver...

II.

Just thought that before my army of Supergenome warriors take over the world, I should give you a taste of what to expect.

NARRATOR: These fun, bright happy beings are peanut clones.

Say hello, because they are our friends.

And very soon, you'll be seeing them all around your community!

Say hello!

Say hello!

So, remember, next time you see a peanut clone, say hello...

Because we're going to be around for a long... long...

Long time.

That's right. And for those of you who think peanuts are played out, done, passe...

I've got news for you!

We're here to stay!

(LAUGHING)

ALL: Oh! Oh!

The takeover begins... in T-minus 5 minutes.

Have a pleasant evening.

MAN: He's a peanut!

I better get a big raise in my allowance for this.

(DR. CARVER II LAUGHING)

Give it up, Carver!

Or whoever you are!

ALL: Whoo! Whoo!

Too late, Penny. Soon the world will be taken over by peanutkind.

Well, then, am I too late for this?

What is that? The peanut liquification gas?

Gimme that! Gimme that!

Whoa!

Hey! Watch out!

Curses!

Is that Proud?

Dang! That girl's hardcore!

PENNY: Stop it! Stop it!

TRUDY: Penny! Penny!

Suga Mama, quick! Hand me a pair of your drawers!

My drawers? Why, you must be dim or dumb...

Come on, Mama. For once, show me some respect and hand me over them big old britches.

Aye-aye, Captain!

CLONE LEADER: All right, clones, you heard the order!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Move it, move it, move it, move it!

All right, clones, let's go! Let's go!

DR. CARVER: Faster, Bobo, faster!

(CROWD SHOUTS ENCOURAGEMENT)

(GASPING)

Nice try, Penny.

Oh...

OSCAR: Penny!

Daddy!

Stand back, you burnt peanut!

I'm here to save my daughter!

DR. CARVER II: Don't do it, Penny!

Join me! Just think of the life you can have...

A life of complete freedom.

(OSCAR STRUGGLING)

Don't listen to him, Penny!

WOMAN: Penny, don't!

SUGA MAMA: Penny! TRUDY: Penny!

Sorry, Carver.

Even though they're not perfect, in fact, I have an extensive list of complaints... they're my real family!

And I love them just the way they are.

Oh! Penny.

ALL: Aw!

(GROWLS)

So, take this!

No!

I'm destabilizing!

No!

(TINY VOICE) I'm a little peanut.

(SPLASH)

A-ha! Yes!

Daddy, you better hang on!

I think this is about to get really messy!

Look out, y'all! She's gonna blow!

(CROWD SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

WOMAN: Everybody, run!

Oh! (LAUGHING)

Come on, everybody. This is a part of the show!

It's for my new single... 15 Cent, Raw, Uncut and Nutty!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, y'all get up!

Whoo, yeah!

Put your hands in the air!

Yeah! Wave 'em like you just don't care!

(MUSIC STOPS)

PENNY: Ahh!

Daddy, I can't believe you parasailed all the way up there to help me.

You must really love me after all.

Well, I just didn't want you to hang out with all those Supergenomes.

They may have been peanuts, but they were boy peanuts.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

My whole point in that thing didn't exactly turn out the way I planned.

But... It meant a lot to me, and I wanted to keep it in a special place.

And there's no place more special... than with you.

Hey, my necklace!

Happy birthday, Penny.

ALL: Aw!

(GIGGLING)

(CROWD APPLAUDS)

Thanks for the lift, Bobo.

Are you comin', Carver?

You know, I could use a resourceful man around the house.

Heaven knows, Oscar's hopeless. And, uh...

You know I'm buildin' a new jacuzzi.

That's a tempting offer, Miss Suga.

But my home is on Legume Island... with my family.

Let's ride, Bobo! Yah! Ha ha! Come on!

Mama!

Oh, Penny!

15 CENT: Uh... I hate to break up this little love fest, but we do have a show to finish.

You mean you still want us to dance?

Dance? Ponytail, this crowd loves you!

I want you to sing.

ALL: Hey.

Daddy, can I?

Well, you're 16 now, Penny.

That means you're officially mature enough to make your own decisions.

As long as you make those decisions in more appropriate attire.

What do you say, guys?

See, Penny, the Spare Change Dancers are like family.

When one of us performs, then, doggone it, we all per...

I think what Zoey's trying to say is...

GIRLS: Let's do this, girl.

Hey!

Hey.

BOBBY: One, two, three!

♪ MPDZ in the hiz-house!

♪ When they give you the board

♪ Get crackin' on how it's done

♪ I'm layin' the law, are you feelin' it, y'all

♪ Or am I the only one?

♪ We can celebrate

♪ Don't act like you wanna hate

♪ All you players and shorties, and you in your forties

♪ Hurry, 'fore it's too late

♪ Oh, all the girls are strong enough

♪ To stand alone

♪ But everybody wants

♪ To find a common tone

♪ Oh, oh...

15 CENT: Yo, cousin, I'm throwin' an after-party on my yacht.

You down?

About the yacht...

By the way, my brother, it's really pronounced yacht.

Work it. Work it!

Move your little peanut head! Come on!

♪ Brothers loving one another

♪ That's the gift that makes it great, y'all DISC JOCKEY: Yo, y'all, this is Big Boy!

And that was the new smash hit from Penny Proud from the group MPDZ.

Five Straight weeks at number one.

Whoo! You go on, girl!

(LAUGHING)

Do it again! Do it again!

♪ See?

♪ Comin' back at me

♪ Whoo! If you stand right beside me... ♪

And now for our main event.

Mayhem the Mangler versus the salty sultans of smack, the Brazil Brothers.

I'm gonna get my snack on before they get their smack on.

Oscar Proud's Pork-Nut O-Rade?

Let me see what this boy done.

One guzzle will build your muscles.

(SNIFFS)

More like one drink will make your breath stink.

(GULPING)

How about if I fry is up some of these chick...

(RUMBLING) Puff?

OSCAR: Penny, now, watch out, slow down. Speed up, now.

I mean, turn around. Don't turn around.

Stop. Relax, Dad.

I am now Penny Proud, officially licensed driver.

Look out!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

CASHEW: Excuse me, Mr. Proud, I've been observing Penny for the last two weeks.

And I must say, she is a most excellent driver.

Cashew, as the official Proud Snacks mascot your job is to promote me, not provoke me!

Now, if my batch of Pork-Nut O-Rade completes the secret patented and cooling process, it'll be my biggest hit yet.

And hopefully no side effects.

Team Nut-O-Rade, put on your hat, and hand me the mic.

Gotta promote.

Aw, man.

OSCAR: (OVER PA) Pork Nut-O-Rade, world's nuttiest energy drink.

If you're feeling like a slug, grab a can and jug-a-lug.

What in the... Penny! I thought I told you...

(CROWD SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

Puffzilla?

(SCREAMING)

OSCAR: Here he comes!

Everybody, run for your lives!

It's the Suga monster!

Oscar, I think you finally hit on something with this drink of yours.

(BURP)

PENNY: Ew.

Come on, Puff. Let's take a dip in the pool.

(SPEAKING JAPANESE) Puffzilla! Come back. I love you.