The Rats (2002) Script

[SCREECH]

[ELECTRIC CRACKLING]

[TRAFFIC HONKING]

[POLICE SIREN]


[SCREECHING]

P.A. announcer: THE TRAIN WILL BE STOPPING, WATCH THE DOORS.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]


[SCREECH]

OW!

OH, DAMN IT.

OH.

[SPEAKING MIDDLE EASTERN LANGUAGE]

NO, NO.

WAIT.

I HOPE YOU ENJOY SHOPPING.

OH, I ADORE SHOPPING.

VERSACE, PLEASE.

OH!

WHAT DID YOU THINK WE WORE UNDERNEATH?

Susan: THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE.

THIS IS OUR LATEST HERE AT GARSONS--

FLAME OF THE FOREST BY BOUVIER.

HMM.

NO. NO.

OK. THERE'S MORE THIS WAY.

YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF THE WHOLE STORE?

I'M THE OPERATIONS MANAGER.

I HANDLE EVERYTHING FROM SECURITY ISSUES TO PUBLIC RELATIONS.

MEANING YOU SPEND YOUR TIME BABY-SITTING THE IDLE RICH.

EVERY CUSTOMER IS IMPORTANT TO US HERE AT GARSONS, YOUR MAJESTY.

MM-HMM.

YOU'RE GOOD AT YOUR JOB, MS. COSTELLO.

I WON'T MONOPOLIZE YOU FOR TOO MUCH LONGER.

[SCREECH]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY, MS. COSTELLO.

THANK YOU, YOUR MAJESTY.

OUR FLOOR SHOPPER WILL HELP YOU PERSONALLY.

VERY GOOD. ENJOY.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

HI. I'M SUSAN COSTELLO.

OH! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I THINK SO.

HOW'D YOU CUT IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST REACHED DOWN TO GET MY CLOTHES.

CAN YOU SHOW ME WHERE?

IT WAS RIGHT OVER THERE.

OK.

[GASPS]

IT WAS A CARPET TACK.

BUT HOW CAN THAT JUST CUT--

I'M SO SORRY. I'LL HAVE MAINTENANCE CHECK IT OUT RIGHT AWAY.

LISTEN, YOU WERE HAVING A FUN DAY.

WE DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE THAT OUTFIT HOME.

YOU MEAN FOR FREE?

YEAH! IT LOOKS GREAT ON YOU.

[LAUGHS]

WOW.

THANK YOU. SURE.

UM, YOU DON'T THINK I'M GONNA NEED A SHOT OR ANYTHING, DO YOU?

WELL, IT'S NOT RUSTY, BUT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE YOUR DOCTOR LOOK AT IT, OK?

OK. FINE.

THANKS.

HEADING HOME, MS. PAGE?

HOW'D IT GO WITH THE QUEEN?

DID YOU MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE?

OH, SHE MADE US FEEL COMFORTABLE.

$12,000 WORTH WITH THE DISCOUNT.

GOOD.

WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL WITH THE FINGER?

OH, SHE'S FINE.

SHE LEFT HERE A HAPPY CAMPER.

DID YOU GET A RELEASE?

NO. I FELT THAT WOULD PUT HER ON GUARD.

HER CUT DIDN'T AMOUNT TO MUCH.

I DID TELL HER TO CHECK WITH HER DOCTOR, THOUGH.

IT'S AN OPEN DOOR, SUSAN.

WELL, I FELT NEGLIGENT NOT TO AT LEAST SUGGEST IT.

JUST BE CAREFUL YOUR COMPASSION DOESN'T WORK TO YOUR DISADVANTAGE.

OR MINE.

[COACH'S WHISTLE BLOWS]

COME ON, WARREN!

KEEP YOUR LEGS TOGETHER!

REACH! REACH!

COME ON, AMY, GO!

GO.

GOOD JOB.

GOOD JOB.

SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK.

REMEMBER TO DO YOUR LAPS.

COME ON, AMY.

MOM, DO WE HAVE TO DO BACKSTROKE?

YES. IT'S THE NEXT THING WE'RE WORKING ON.

I HATE BEING LAST.

I KNOW. YOU WERE FIRST IN FREESTYLE HEATS.

I GUESS.

I WANNA BE FIRST IN EVERYTHING.

GEE, I WONDER WHERE YOU GET THAT FROM?

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST WAY TO PRACTICE IS, DON'T YOU?

WHAT?

PLAY TAG WITH YOUR MOM. YOU'RE IT!

[GIGGLES]

AAH! WHOO!

[SCREECH]

Susan: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IT'S A GREAT STORY FOR THE 11:00 NEWS.

YEAH, THEY'LL BE STANDING OUTSIDE GARSONS THANKSGIVING NIGHT, YOU INTERVIEW THE FIRST SHOPPER IN LINE, AND--

CHEESY?! YOU KNOW WHAT?

FOX HAS ALREADY JUMPED AT THIS STORY.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL MAKE ARRANGEMENTS NEXT WEEK.

ALL RIGHT, TALK TO YOU LATER.

AMY, MUFFINS BEFORE DINNER?

HOW MANY HAVE YOU EATEN?

JUST ONE.

WE HAD HALF A DOZEN.

NO, I THINK MAYBE WE ONLY GOT 6.

VERY FUNNY.

DINNER'S ALMOST READY.

DO I HAVE TO SEND DADDY AN E-MAIL?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT.

WELL, TELL HIM ABOUT THE MOVIE WE SAW.

YOU SAID YOU LIKED IT.

I GUESS.

AND SHOULD I TELL HIM YOU SAID HI?

SURE.

ARE YOU EVER GONNA BE FRIENDS AGAIN?

MAYBE SOMEDAY.

BUT NOT RIGHT NOW.

[SCREECH]

AAH!

WHAT?

[GASPS]

[SNIFF]

I DON'T SEE NO SIGNS.

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP YOUR WINDOWS SHUT, YOU OUGHT TO BE FINE.

HEH HEH. Susan: KARL?

IT WAS OUTSIDE THE WINDOW.

PLEASE, WILL YOU JUST SET SOME TRAPS TOMORROW?

WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU LIVE IN THE CITY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE RATS.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.

KARL.

TRAPS. TOMORROW.

Karl: TOMORROW.

Susan: OK? TRAPS.

OK, I'LL PUT SOME OUT.

SURE THING. TOMORROW.

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.

Susan: DON'T WORRY, HONEY. HE'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

Amy: OH, MOM, THAT RAT WAS SO NASTY!

[CHIRPING]

Karl: WHY THE SCENTED STITCH?

ALWAYS COMPLAINING.

LADY, YOU GOTTA WAKE UP, YOU KNOW, TO REALITY.

YOU JUST CAN'T, UH, GO AROUND KILLING INNOCENT LITTLE ANIMALS, YOU KNOW?

WELL, SHE'D UNDERSTAND IF--

IF, YOU KNOW, SHE TOOK A GOOD LOOK AROUND TO SEE WHO, UM, HER REAL NEIGHBORS ARE.

[DOG BARKS]

RIGHT.

WELL, COME ON NOW, WOULDN'T SHE?

HUH?

NO, SHE WOULDN'T.

SHE'D HAVE TO LEARN TO GET ALONG...

WITH EVERYBODY.

Woman on TV: PLEASE, ANDRE, FOR MY SAKE.

MAYBE IT WILL WORK. I BEG YOU!

NOW, DON'T BE SCARED, ALL RIGHT?

I DID SAY I'D PUT OUT A FEW TRAPS.

BUT I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT SETTING 'EM.

YOU SEE, WHAT SHE DON'T UNDERSTAND IS THAT EVERY LIVING THING HAS ITS PLACE, OK?

LIKE YOU GUYS, OK?

YOU LIVE OVER THERE.

I LIVE OVER HERE.

WE WORKED THAT OUT BETWEEN US.

IT DIDN'T BOTHER US.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO SOMEBODY LIKE HER?

[SCREECHES]

WHO ARE YOU?

HEY, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU BEFORE.

YOU'RE A BIG FELLA.

WHAT ARE YOU, WORKING OUT OR SOMETHING?

NO, DON'T BE SCARED. COME HERE. COME HERE.

NOW, DON'T BE AFRAID.

DON'T BE AFRAID.

COME ON.

THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT, FELLA.

THAT'S IT.

HERE YOU GO. [CRUNCH]

AAH!

AAH, YOU LITTLE--

YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING PIECE OF RAT SHIT!

PIECE OF SHIT! THAT'S IT!

WHY'D YOU DO THAT?! HUH? WHY'D YOU--

OK, LET'S--

OK, I SHOULDN'T HAVE--

I DIDN'T MEAN-- THAT WAS--

HE HAD RABIES OR SOMETHING.

WHEW. GUYS, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU.

PLEASE.

GUYS?

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

I SWEAR, HEY--

I WOULD NEVER--

GUYS?

GUYS, WHERE YOU GOING?

[SCREECHING]


AAH!

OH!

AAH! AAH!

AAH! NO!

Woman on TV: AAH!

OHH! AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

HELLO?

THIS IS SUSAN COSTELLO.

YES, PLEASE. PUT HER THROUGH.

WHAT?

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Nurse: I WILL.

Doctor: I WANT YOU TO MONITOR T.B.C.

AND HER ELECTROLYTE OUTPUT.

THANK YOU.

HI. IS SHE ALL RIGHT?

SHE CAME IN WITH A MILD SEPTICEMIA.

IT'S STRANGE FOR SOMEONE SO YOUNG WITH NO DRUG HISTORY.

SHE SAID SHE CUT HER FINGER AT YOUR STORE?

YEAH, IT WAS ON A CARPET TACK.

4 HOURS AFTER ADMISSION, SHE'S GOT SEVERE RESPIRATORY DIFFICULTIES, THREATENING RENAL FAILURE.

SHE'S VERY SICK.

IF SHE HADN'T COME IN, SHE'D BE DEAD.

I'M 99% CERTAIN IT'S WEIL'S DISEASE.

IS THAT SOME FORM OF TETANUS OR--

NO.

YOU DON'T GET THIS FROM A CARPET TACK.

IT WAS A BITE WOUND.

I CAN'T SAY FOR SURE, BUT I THINK IT WAS A RAT.

Ms. Page: GARSONS DOES NOT HAVE RATS.

NO OFFENSE, BUT WOULD YOU SWEAR TO THAT IN COURT?

MY GOD, WAS THE GIRL'S LAWYER THERE?

NO.

WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?

WELL, SHE SAID IT WAS A RAT BITE.

SHE'S ALMOST CERTAIN THAT IT'S WEIL'S DISEASE.

LISTEN, IF GARSONS GETS SUED FOR A RAT BITE AND IT GOES PUBLIC, WHICH IT WOULD, NOT ONLY CAN YOU KISS YOUR JOB GOOD-BYE, BUT SO CAN EVERYBODY ELSE HERE, INCLUDING ME.

WHAT CAN WE DO?

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE GIRL.

MAKE SURE SHE GETS WELL.

FIRE OUR SO-CALLED EXTERMINATORS, YANK THEIR NAMES OUT OF THE ROLODEX, AND SUE THEIR BUTTS TO KINGDOM COME.

DISCRETELY, OF COURSE.

BRING IN NEW RAT PEOPLE, COMPLETELY UNCONNECTED.

THE BEST IN TOWN.

I HATE RATS.

Man: HEY.

YOU CAN'T PARK THERE.

I'M LOOKING FOR SUSAN COSTELLO.

SHE'S EXPECTING ME.

ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON. I'LL GO PAGE HER.

SHE'LL PROBABLY GIVE YOU A CALL.

EXCUSE ME, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN HELP ME.

I'M LOOKING FOR SUSAN COSTELLO.

DO YOU KNOW HER?

I'M SUSAN.

OH, HI. HI.

I'M JACK CARVER.

OH, JACK CARVER THE, UM, THE--

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU EXPECTING SOME GUY IN A YELLOW T-SHIRT WITH A BIG, BLACK RAT ON THE BACK?

YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

DON'T GET ME WRONG. I APPRECIATE THE DISCRETION.

ALL MY CLIENTS DO.

SO, UH, SOMEBODY GOT BITTEN IN A DRESSING ROOM?

Susan: NOT HOW WE'RE PUTTING IT YET.

I SEE. HOW ARE WE PUTTING IT?

WE'RE NOT, YET.

LOOK, MS. COSTELLO-- SUSAN.

SUSAN...

YOUR JOB AND MINE DON'T MATCH UP ALL THAT WELL.

PEOPLE LIKE ME GO AROUND FINDING THINGS THAT THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT SOMETIMES NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU GO AROUND TRYING TO GET PEOPLE LIKE ME TO KEEP OUR MOUTHS SHUT.

MR. CARVER-- JACK.

JACK, IF YOU'RE SUGGESTING THAT PEOPLE LIKE ME WOULD COVER UP SOMETHING LIKE THIS--

SOMETHING LIKE WHAT?

A RAT BITE?

I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GOING THERE.

WE'RE NOT.

WE'RE STANDING HERE IN A COSMETIC DEPARTMENT WASTING TIME.

OK, LET'S START OVER.

I'M JACK, THE PERSON YOU CALLED, AND I BELIEVE THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO SHOW ME?

AFTER YOU.

IT HAPPENED IN HERE. SHE WAS OVER--

HOW MANY BASEMENT LEVELS UNDER THE STORE?

3 FLOORS INCLUDING THE SUBWAY.

SEE, SHE WAS OVER HERE AND--

3?

YEAH. SHE HAD A PILE OF CLOTHES.

SHE SAID SHE REACHED DOWN, AND--AND--

I GUESS IT HAPPENED THEN.

I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE THE RAT WENT UNDERNEATH THE, UH--

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

I GOT A POSSIBLE ENTRY POINT.

WHERE?

HERE.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME?

THAT TINY CRACK?

A HOLE THE SIZE OF A WEDDING RING'S BIG ENOUGH.

[SIGHS]

WE HAD A RAT OUTSIDE OUR WINDOW LAST NIGHT.

Jack: HERE?

NO, AT HOME.

4 LEGS OR 2?

LET ME GUESS.

FIRST TIME YOU EVER TOLD THAT JOKE?

IT'S AN OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD. I'M SORRY.

I'LL TRY NOT TO ANNOY YOU.

WHAT IS THAT?

FIBER OPTICS.

A LITTLE SOMETHING I WHIPPED UP MYSELF.

IT COMES IN HANDY.

OH, BOY.

BAD NEWS.

LOTS OF CRITTERS.

COME HERE, TAKE A LOOK.

YOU SEE WHERE THE WOOD IS ALL SCRATCHED AND CHOPPED UP?

MM-HMM.

THAT'S RATS.

THEY CHEW. THEY CHEW EVEN WHEN THEY'RE NOT HUNGRY.

OTHERWISE THEIR TEETH GROW SO LONG THEY CAN'T EAT.

THEY STARVE.

CONCRETE, METAL, WOOD.

SO YOU'RE SAYING WE HAVE A RAT PROBLEM.

CERTAINLY NOT GIRAFFES.

Jack: LOOK AT THAT. YOU SEE THAT?

OH, NO.

THE RAT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SANDBAGGING.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, THEY CLEANED UP THE RAT LITTER, BUT THEY DIDN'T CLEAN UP THE RATS.

IT HAPPENS.

COMPANIES GET OVEREXTENDED.

THEY THINK THEY'LL CATCH UP.

THEY NEVER DO.

TY? YEAH, LISTEN, I'M DOWN AT GARSONS.

I NEED YOU HERE, MAN. THE RODES ARE REAL BUSY.

YOU HEAR ME?

OK.

RODES?

SHORT FOR RODENTS.

YOU KNOW, CLIENTS SEEM TO GET UPSET IF YOU GO, "COME OVER HERE, THE PLACE IS CRAWLING WITH RATS!"

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

SO, HOW DO YOU GET RID OF THE RODES?

LOOK.

DEPENDS ON WHAT WE'RE UP AGAINST.

HOW SOON DOES THE STORE CLOSE?

2 HOURS.

GOOD NIGHT, LADIES.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

SURE YOU WANTS LIGHTS OFF?

IT'S A WHOLE LOT BETTER IN THE DARK.

SUSAN, THIS IS TY, MY UP-AND-COMING APPRENTICE.

TY, SUSAN.

WHO YOU CALLING "APPRENTICE"?

I'M THE GUY THAT DOES ALL THE DIRTY WORK.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

OK.

[DIALING BEEPS]

ALL RIGHT, LIGHTS OFF.

HERE WE GO.

Jack: LET'S SEE WHAT WE CAN'T SEE.

IS THAT--

OH, THAT'S NOT--

WHERE OUR LITTLE FRIENDS TOOK A BATHROOM BREAK?

THAT'S THE UGLY TRUTH.

SEE, RATS ARE PERMANENTLY INCONTINENT.

SHOWS UP UNDER THE ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT, WHICH GIVES US AN ACCURATE TRAFFIC PATTERN.

Ty: HMM.

CHECK THAT OUT.

Susan: OH, NO. THERE'S MORE?

THAT'S NO BIG DEAL, REALLY.

I MEAN, SOME OF OUR FINEST RESTAURANTS ARE A LOT WORSE.

DISPERSAL PATTERNS LIKE THESE, THEY CAN BE CLEANED UP OVERNIGHT.

OH, SO THAT'S GOOD.

Ty: NOT NECESSARILY.

WE JUST STARTED OUT.

COME ON.

Jack: WE GOT A LITTLE BIT OF ACTION HERE.


OH, MY GOD.

UNBELIEVABLE.

[SCREECH]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Amy: THANKS FOR TAKING ME, AUNT NYLA.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

NOW ARE YOU ACTUALLY GONNA PRACTICE OR WE JUST GONNA LOOK AT GUYS?

NO. I HAVE TO PRACTICE MY BACKSTROKE.

THEN WE'LL LOOK AT GUYS. [GIGGLES]

OK, WELL, THEN LET'S DO IT.

GIVE ME YOUR TOWEL.

READY?

OK, GO!

[GIGGLES]

[SCREECHES]

Jack: WELL, GIVEN THE FACT THAT THEY HAVEN'T DESTROYED MUCH AND THESE DISPERSAL PATTERNS HERE...

AND HERE, IT'S CLEAR THAT YOUR LITTLE VISITORS ARE RECENT.

NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THEY'RE STILL CONTAINED.

WE CAN ELIMINATE THEM, BUT, YOU KNOW, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO ACT IMMEDIATELY.

ALL RIGHT, I'M CONVINCED.

WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?

I RECOMMEND YOU CLOSE THE STORE.

[SCOFFS] DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT WOULD COST TO CLOSE THE STORE FOR ONE DAY, MR. CARVER? NOT TO MENTION EXPLAINING IT TO THE PRESS.

CAN'T WE JUST CORDON OFF THE THIRD FLOOR WHILE YOU WORK?

SURE. BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO FILE A REPORT WITH THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT.

EVENTUALLY.

IT'S THE LAW.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

[SQUEALS]

OK, GO PRACTICE.


[SCREECH]

AAH!

Amy: AAH!

AAH!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[SCREAMING]

AMY!

AAH! [SCREECH]

AMY!

Nyla: AMY! HURRY UP, BABY!

LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!

AMY, COME ON, BABY, SWIM!

HURRY UP! COME ON!

AMY!

AMY, HURRY UP, BABY! SWIM!

SWIM!

COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT!

AMY, COME ON!

GIVE ME YOUR HAND! GIVE IT HERE!

WELL, THESE BLUEPRINTS ARE GREAT, BUT I NEED SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY OF THE STORE.

MS. COSTELLO FILLS THE BILL.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I MEAN SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE BASEMENTS, THE SUBSTRUCTURE, THAT SORT OF THING.

Page: I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT.

MY RECOMMENDATION STILL STANDS.

IF MR. CARVER ISN'T COMFORTABLE, I CAN ARRANGE FOR SOMEONE ELSE--

STOP IT.

YOU'RE THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB, AND YOU KNOW IT.

HE'LL SEE THAT SOON ENOUGH.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

EXCUSE ME.

HELLO?

IS SHE OK?!

WHAT--WHAT-- WAIT, WAIT, SLOW DOWN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN RATS?

Susan: I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

UM, MS. PAGE, MY DAUGHTER NEEDS ME.

EXCUSE ME.

HARRY, THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT WANTS YOU TO DRAIN THE POOL.

THAT'S GONNA TAKE 2 DAYS AT LEAST.

HI.

SHE SAID A RAT TRIED TO SWIM IN HER MOUTH.

IT WAS SO SICK.

HI. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

AMY.

HI, AMY.

WHO ARE YOU?

MY NAME'S JACK.

THIS IS GARSONS' NEW EXTERMINATOR, HONEY.

WHY WOULD RATS BE IN A POOL?

WELL, THEY CAN SWIM, JUST LIKE US.

THEY CAN HOLD THEIR BREATH.

THEY SWIM THE HUDSON RIVER EVERY DAY. THEY'RE COMMUTERS.

[GIGGLES]

AMY, WHY DON'T YOU GO SIT OVER HERE AND RELAX FOR A SECOND?

YOU HAD A CRAZY DAY, HUH?

SO, AMY, TELL ME--

TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THE POOL.

WHAT DID YOU SEE?

WELL, I WAS SWIMMING, AND THEN THE RATS JUST STARTED COMING AFTER ALL THE KIDS, AND THEY CHASED US OUT OF THE POOL.

THEY CHASED YOU OUT OF THE POOL?

YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

YES, AND THEY WERE EVEN TRYING TO BITE US.

AND THE BIGGEST ONE WAS AFTER ME.

YEAH, AND HOW BIG WAS IT?

HUGE.

WELL, THAT'S ACTUALLY SMALL FOR A NEW YORK CITY RAT, YOU KNOW.

WELL, MAYBE IT WAS MORE LIKE THIS.

BUT IT WAS REALLY UGLY, AND IT WAS LIKE THE ONE THAT WAS TRYING TO GET IN THE WINDOW THE OTHER DAY. REMEMBER?

YEAH.

AND IT HAD ITS TEETH BARED AND EVERYTHING.

HMM.

THIS IS REALLY STRANGE.

IT IS? MM-HMM.

CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

AMY, THAT CLOSET'S CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.

I MEAN, YOU COULD HAVE A SLEEPOVER PARTY IN THERE, IT'S SO CLEAN.

PROMISE? PROMISE.

HEY, HONEY, YOU WANNA TAKE A BREAK AND GO WATCH A MOVIE?

YEAH. OK.

GO PICK OUT WHATEVER ONE YOU WANT.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

I PROMISE. REALLY. GO AHEAD.

BE RIGHT THERE.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

IS THIS THE WINDOW?

IT WAS THIS ONE.

[GRUNTS]

OH, WELL, YOU GOT A HOLE IN THE SCREEN HERE.

YOU EVER KEEP THIS WINDOW OPEN?

SOMETIMES.

I MEAN, NOT SINCE--

OH, YOU'RE USING...

THE VENT.

YEAH.

EXCUSE ME. OH, SURE.

AHEM.

YOU REALLY LIKE YOUR JOB, DON'T YOU?

WELL, THE HUNT'S FUN.

IT'S NOT LIKE MY PREY IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES OR ANYTHING.

RATS ARE TOUGH.

THEY CAN ADAPT TO ALMOST ANY CONDITION, CONTROL THEIR HEARTBEATS.

ONLY THE MOST EXPERIENCED INDIAN YOGIS CAN DO THAT OR COME EVEN CLOSE.

THEY'RE A WORTHY ADVERSARY.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

NO, IT'S REALLY--

ALL RIGHT.

UM, DO YOU STORE CRUMBS BEHIND YOUR RADIO?

[GASPS]

I KNEW THERE WAS MORE MUFFINS.

MMM. YOU'VE GOT A RAT.

PROBABLY JUST ONE.

OH, WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

WAIT--WAIT A SECOND. WAIT.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

YOU GET RID OF THE RAT. YOU DON'T REMOVE YOURSELF.

WE CAN'T LIVE WITH A RAT.

SUSAN, WHERE YOU GONNA GO?

ANYWHERE YOU GO IN THIS CITY, YOU'RE NEVER MORE THAN 5 FEET FROM A RAT.

ACTUALLY ABOUT 9 PER PERSON IN NEW YORK.

OK. WAY MORE INFORMATION THAN I NEEDED.

LISTEN, CAN YOU JUST FIND IT AND GET RID OF IT?

IF IT'S STILL HERE, I CAN.

DO IT.

[RAT SCREECHES]

[WHISTLES]

THANK YOU.

[REPORTERS TALKING]

I WANT TO MAKE A BRIEF STATEMENT.

I'M GOING TO MAKE A BRIEF STATEMENT.

UNFORTUNATELY, I'M LATE FOR A MEETING, SO YOUR QUESTIONS WILL HAVE TO WAIT.

WHAT'S THE MEDIA DOING HERE?

SOMETHING ABOUT RATS IN SWIMMING POOLS?

I AM PLEASED TO REPORT NO EVIDENCE OF WHAT WAS THOUGHT TO BE A VERMIN INFESTATION.

APPARENTLY, A PRANKSTER THREW SEVERAL DOMESTICATED RODENTS INTO A SWIMMING POOL, PANICKING SEVERAL SWIMMERS.

NO ONE WAS SERIOUSLY INJURED, AND I'M TOLD THE POLICE ARE CLOSING IN ON A SUSPECT.

THANKS. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.

THAT'S THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT FOR YOU.

COME ON.

RAY.

JACK.

LOOKING MIGHTY SHARP THERE.

RAY, THIS IS SUSAN COSTELLO FROM GARSONS. SUSAN, RAY JARETH, DEPUTY CHIEF INSPECTOR FOR THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT.

Susan: NICE TO MEET YOU.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

I GOT AN EYEWITNESS WITH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY.

COME ON, JACK. WE NEED TO TALK.

JACK, WHATEVER YOU HEARD, COULD YOU TAKE IT AND JUST PUT IT ON THE SHELF FOR A LITTLE WHILE?

COULD YOU DO THAT?

REMEMBER WHAT WE USED TO SAY?

UH-UH.

ANYTHING GOES, LONG AS IT DOESN'T HURT ANYBODY.

[CHUCKLES]

Both: OR COST US MONEY.

RAY, THE REC CENTER HAS A RAT PROBLEM.

2 BLOCKS AWAY, GARSONS HAS A RAT PROBLEM.

I'VE GOT A FEELING IT DOESN'T END THERE.

SO, YOU WANT TO TELL ME HOW SITTING ON THIS DOESN'T END UP WITH SOMEONE GETTING HURT?

JACK, I'M NOT DOING THE SITTING HERE.

THAT'S COMING FROM HIGHER UP, A LOT HIGHER.

I THINK THE CITY'S TRYING TO BUY A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

THERE'S A BIG TRADE FAIR GOING ON RIGHT NOW, SOME KIND OF AWARDS SHOW NEXT WEEK, COUPLE OF MAJOR CONVENTIONS.

YOU START HOLLERING THE "R" WORD, CLOSING PLACES DOWN? UH-UH.

HEAVY PEOPLE LOSE HEAVY BUCKS.

WE CAME HERE TO REPORT A PROBLEM AT GARSONS.

I ASSUME YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THAT, AT LEAST FOR A COUPLE DAYS.

I APPRECIATE THAT.

I WANT EVERYTHING YOU GOT.

THERE HAS BEEN AN UNPRECEDENTED INCREASE OF BITE REPORTS, INFESTATIONS, LOCALIZED HERE IN MIDTOWN.

I'LL GIVE YOU COPIES OF THE REPORTS.

SO, WHAT ABOUT THIS WEIL'S DISEASE?

UNTIL A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO, PEOPLE HAD BARELY HEARD OF IT.

NOW IT'S SHOWING UP AT HOSPITALS ALL AROUND HERE.

AROUND HERE? YOU MEAN MIDTOWN?

YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.

BITES AND SIGHTINGS AT FAST-FOOD JOINTS, APARTMENTS, A LIBRARY, A BUS.

AND NOW THE MIDTOWN REC CENTER AND ONE MAJOR DEPARTMENT STORE.

THIS IS BIG, RAY.

IT'S WEIRD, JACK, THESE RATS.

THEY JUST KEEP SHOWING UP, KEEP COMING OUT AT ODD TIMES, ANYTIME.

LIKE THEY'RE NOT AFRAID ANYMORE.

YEAH.

THEY'D RATHER BITE THAN RUN AWAY.

Susan: SO, YOU AND RAY HAVE A HISTORY.

I USED TO WORK FOR HIM.

HE SOLD ME THE BUSINESS.

I GUESS IT'S GOOD TO HAVE THE CITY ON YOUR SIDE.

IT'S WORKED OUT WELL.

RAY, HE--HE WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE A POLITICIAN, BELIEVE ME.

HOW'RE WE DOING?

AH, THIS WHOLE FLOOR'LL BE CLEARED OUT TONIGHT.

GOOD.

NOW, WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY COMING FROM?

UH, I CHECKED ALL THE OBVIOUS PLACES.

THERE'S GOT TO BE ANOTHER MAJOR PORT OF ENTRY HERE.

WHAT ABOUT THE COOPS?

COOPS?

YEAH. IT'S AN OLD STORE.

IT HAS FALSE INTERIOR WALLS.

THEY USED TO CALL THEM COFFINS.

SECURITY WOULD HIDE BEHIND THEM AND WATCH FOR SHOPLIFTERS.

OH, AND THEN VIDEO CAME ALONG--

THEY SEALED THEM UP.

COOPS.

[POUNDING]

WE'RE GOING EXPLORING.

[POUNDING]

OH, YEAH.

WE'VE GOT A RAT PLAGROUND HERE.

Susan: I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO THIS.

BEATS 9 TO 5 AND FLUORESCENT LIGHTS.

I GUESS JACKIE BOY NEVER TOLD YOU HOW HE CAME TO THE BIG APPLE WITH A DRUM KIT AND A DREAM, HUH?

THEN HE SETTLED FOR THIS.

REALLY?

Jack: YEAH, WELL, TY'S THE ONE BORN FOR THIS BUSINESS.

HE USED TO MAKE A DOLLAR A RAT POPPING THEM WITH HIS .22, CLEARING BUILDING SITES DOWN AT THE HUDSON.

WELL, I HAD TO PAY FOR A VERY EXPENSIVE COMIC BOOK HABIT.

Susan: THERE'S A LADDER IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

Jack: YEAH? WHERE?

HERE.

RIGHT THROUGH THERE.

OH, YOU ARE THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB.

[GRUNTS]

Ty: THIS MUST BE HOW THEY TRAVELED BETWEEN FLOORS.

[GASPS]

UNH!

YOU OK?

YEAH. I'M OK.

OOF!

WATCH THIS RUNG DOWN HERE.

NEED A HAND?

UM, NO. I'M-- NO, I'M GOOD.

ALL RIGHT. THANKS.

I GOT YOU. OK.

THERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.

WOW. IT CHEWED RIGHT THROUGH THAT.

LOOK AT THAT. ISN'T THAT SOMETHING?

YOU SEE RATS EVERYWHERE, DON'T YOU?

ONE OUT OF EVERY 4 FIRES OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN--

CAUSED BY A RAT CHEWING THROUGH WHAT IT SHOULDN'T BE CHEWING THROUGH.

THEY AREEVERYWHERE.

[SIGHS]

IS HE ALWAYS THIS CHEERFUL?

THE WAY HE SEES IT, THESE RATS WORK FOR HIM.

[CRASH]

WHAT?

IT MAY BE IN THERE.

SORRY.

[SIGHS]

Ty: IT'S BIG ENOUGH FOR A WHOLE LOT OF RATS.

PLENTY OF DARK, WET CORNERS FOR BREEDING.

ALL RIGHT, SO, WHERE ARE THEY?

WELL, THAT'S THE BIG QUESTION, ISN'T IT?

WE'VE REACHED THE END OF THE LINE.

THEY'RE NOT HERE.

AAH! OK.

[TY LAUGHS]

FUNNY.

A 2-LEGGED RAT.

OH, HERE WE GO.

FANTASY CHRISTMAS CANDLES?

ONE OF THE ESSENTIAL RAT FOOD GROUPS.

LET'S GET THIS TO THE LAB.

IS THAT WHERE THEY LIVE?

NO, IT'S THEIR PORT OF ENTRY.

WE'RE GOING IN.

OK.

Jack: WATCH YOUR HEAD.

BEEN THROUGH HERE, ALL RIGHT.

Susan: I THINK WE'RE OFF GARSONS' PROPERTY.

200 YEARS OF BUILDING...

BASEMENTS, ACCESS TUNNELS, SUBWAYS.

WHO KNOWS WHERE THIS LEADS?

[SUBWAY BRAKES SCREECHING]

[SCRATCHING]

WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

IT'S GNAWING.

WE'RE GETTING CLOSE.

[SCREECH]

[GNAWING AND SCREECHING]

Susan: I DON'T LIKE THIS, JACK.

WHICH WAY DO WE GO?

THIS WAY. COME ON.

THEY'RE THIS WAY. THEY'RE THAT WAY.

THEY'RE EVERYWHERE, MAN.

Susan: JACK, THIS ISN'T RIGHT.

LET'S GO BACK.

YEAH, SHE'S RIGHT. WE GOT TO CRUISE.

WE'RE RIGHT ABOVE THE SUBWAY!

YEAH, THIS IS MORE THAN I SIGNED ON FOR.

YOU COMING OR WHAT?

THIS IS BAD. LET'S GO.

WE'RE ALMOST THERE. COME ON.

I'M GOING BACK!

YEAH.

GODDAMN IT, JACK, LET'S GO!

[SCREECHING]


[SCREECHING]

Susan: UH--

Susan: UH--

WHAT DO WE DO?

LET'S JUST, UH...

WALK OUT OF HERE NICE AND SLOWLY.

THAT'S IT.

WATCH--WATCH YOURSELF.


Jack: THAT WAS DIFFERENT. WHOO!

WHAT ABOUT THE RATS THAT WERE JUST STANDING THERE LOOKING AT US?

IS THAT NORMAL?

WELL, THAT'S A NEW ONE ON ME. RAT-ITUDE.

SOON AS WE NUKE 'EM, I'LL BE A LOT HAPPIER.

Jack: WHOA, WHOA, CALM DOWN.

WE DON'T KNOW IF WHAT WE SAW IS PART OF SOMETHING MUCH BIGGER.

YOU BETTER PRAY THAT'S NOT THE CASE.

THE TUNNELS, VENTWAYS, AND PIPES ALL OVER THE CITY?

YEAH. WELL, WE WERE CERTAINLY OFF STORE PROPERTY.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WORK WITH RAY'S PEOPLE ON THIS.

YOU KNOW THAT.

HMM.

HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?

UH, YEAH.

NO. NO, I'M NOT ALL RIGHT.

HOW DO YOU KILL THEM?

WELL, WE SEAL THEM OFF, AND THEN WE GAS 'EM.

BUT, YOU SEE, RATS, THEY BUILD UP AN IMMUNITY TO POISON IN 2 GENERATIONS.

THAT'S EVERY 6 MONTHS.

SO, WE CONSTANTLY HAVE TO CUSTOMIZE THE PESTICIDES.

DON'T YOU RUN OUT OF COMBINATIONS?

THAT'S THE GAME WE PLAY.

OH.

SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?

YEAH. I'M FINE.

HMM?

YEAH.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

OK.

SO, IT ALL COMES DOWN TO A BIG HOLE IN THE WALL.

NO. IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT.

WHAT WE FOUND INDICATES A SUBSTANTIAL RAT COLONY NEARBY.

CONFIRMING WHAT WE SUSPECTED.

IT'S A CITY PROBLEM, OR STATE.

THEY'LL HAVE TO CALL OUT THE NATIONAL GUARD OR WHOEVER HANDLES THESE THINGS.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO JUST CHASE THEM OVER THE FENCE, MS. PAGE, AND--

YOU TELL MR. CARVER TO PATCH UP THE HOLE IN HIS WALL, SET HIS TRAPS, AND GO HOME.

AND AS FOR YOU, IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO GET BACK TO YOUR DAY JOB.

THAT FOR ME?

NOT UNLESS YOU LIKE WOMEN'S LINGERIE.

[BOTH LAUGH]

NO, IT'S FOR THE FIRST AND HOPEFULLY ONLY CASUALTY HERE AT GARSONS, ANYWAY.

AH, THAT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

IT'S PART OF MY JOB.

I WOULD LIKE TO THINK YOU'D DO IT ANYWAY.

JACK, UM, THERE'S ANOTHER PART OF MY JOB I DON'T NECESSARILY ENJOY, BUT I HAVE TO DO IT.

GO AHEAD.

WELL, MS. PAGE IS VERY PLEASED WITH WHAT YOU'VE DISCOVERED.

IN FACT, SHE'S SO PLEASED, SHE FEELS THERE'S NO NEED TO PURSUE IT ANY FURTHER THAN PATCHING THE WALL AND SETTING SOME TRAPS.

SUSAN, WE'VE GOT TO MOVE ON THIS COLONY.

THE WOMAN CAN'T PRETEND IT'S NOT OUT THERE.

WELL, THE WOMAN CAN DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING SHE WANTS--

NOT WITH ME, SHE CAN'T.

WE DON'T PULL OUT UNTIL I SAY SO.

WELL, SHE WON'T AUTHORIZE PAYMENT.

OH, WELL, THEN SHE'LL BE IN BREACH, NOT TO MENTION IN DEEP TROUBLE WITH THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT.

WHICH DOESN'T CARE RIGHT NOW, JACK.

I WAS WITH YOU.

OH, PLEASE, SUSAN. YOU'RE NOT--

WHY ARE YOU REACTING THIS WAY?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT--

YOU HAVE TO SEE HER POINT.

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO PAY FOR SOMETHING THE AUTHORITIES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR.

EVEN IF HER STORE IS THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEM?

IF HER STORE IS THE BREEDING GROUND OR THE FOOD SOURCE?

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

I SUGGEST YOU HAVE MS. PAGE GIVE ME A CALL.

I'LL TALK SOME SENSE INTO HER.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE?

GARSONS IS TRYING TO BAIL ON US.

[TIRES SCREECH]

THAT'S TYPICAL!

THE BIGGER THE NAME, THE SMALLER THE GAME, LADY!

HEY, LET'S TAKE A WALK.

COME ON, WE'LL DO SOME OF RAY'S WORK.

I MEAN, HE'S IN NO HURRY TO DO IT. RIGHT?

NO. COME ON.

COME ON, TY.

[SIGHS]

[SCREECHES]


OHH.

[SIGHS]


OHH.

[TEETH CHATTER]


[SQUEALS]

AAH!

[SQUEALING]


[TIRES SCREECH]

[SQUEALS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[SQUEAKS]


WE MUST HAVE COME AT LEAST 2 BLOCKS NORTH.

OK, ABOUT HALFWAY BETWEEN GARSONS AND THE MIDTOWN REC CENTER, BUT THAT WOULD BE, LIKE, RIGHT ABOUT HERE, RIGHT BELOW US.

WELL, WHAT'S DIFFERENT ABOUT THIS STREET THAN ANY OTHER STREET IN NEW YORK?

NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.

WE KNOW THOSE RATS ARE DIFFERENT.

IT'S A ROGUE COLONY.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA MAKE THAT LAB RUN, SEE WHAT THEY COME UP WITH.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S SEE. UM, BLOOD SUGAR, CALCIUM, AND MINERALS ALL NORMAL.

ON THE OTHER HAND, MUSCULAR DEVELOPMENT'S EXAGGERATED, AND THESE GUYS' TESTOSTERONE LEVELS ARE OFF THE CHARTS.

I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE DISEASE CARRIERS YET.

THAT'LL, UH, JUST TAKE A LITTLE LONGER.

SO, THEY'RE MORE AGGRESSIVE, AND THEY HAVE THE MUSCLE TO BACK IT UP.

YEP. WHAT EVERY LITTLE RAT WANTS TO GROW UP TO BE.

WHERE'D YOU, UH, WHERE'D YOU FIND HIM?

MAN, THE RAT OLYMPICS. WHERE ELSE?

YOU EVER SEE ANYTHING LIKE THIS, ARTIE?

WELL, NOT IN THE NATURAL WORLD.

WE DO GET SOME PRETTY WEIRD SPECIMENS THROUGH HERE, THOUGH.

YOU KNOW, UH, LAB RATS.

SOME OF THE STUFF THE DIFFERENT TESTING FACILITIES PUT THESE GUYS THROUGH, IT'S REALLY NO SURPRISE TO SEE YOUR OCCASIONAL MUTATION.

YOU MIND IF I DO A LITTLE SURFING?

OH, HEY, HELP YOURSELF.


OH!

SORRY. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU. IF SHE WAKES UP AND NEEDS ANYTHING AT ALL, PLEASE CALL ME. OK?

DONE. NOW, LISTEN, I THINK YOU NEED TO GET HOME AND TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY OFF.

OK? ALL RIGHT. THANKS.

P.A. system: DR. WILSON, ICU.

DR. WILSON.

HEY, THERE.

HEY. HOW YOU DOING?

I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST GOT REALLY SCARED. YOU KNOW?

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU COSTELLO WOMEN AND RATS, HUH?

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE BETTER STORIES THAN ME.

YOU KNOW THAT. RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT. OK.

[SIGHS]

HOW'S SHE DOING?

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE'S JUST NOT GETTING BETTER.

SO, JACK, I, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.

OH, NO. THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.

SUSAN, YOU'RE JUST DOING YOUR JOB. RIGHT?

YEAH, BUT--

I'M SORRY. SOMETIMES MY JOB GETS IN THE WAY.

YOU KNOW, USUALLY I'M A REALLY GOOD TEAM PLAYER, AND THE STORE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE TEAM, AND THEN--

OK. WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS, I WANT TO HELP YOU.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

EXCUSE ME.

JACK CARVER.

HEY, IT'S TY. I'M AT ARTIE'S.

HE THINKS THESE THINGS MIGHT BE ALTERED.

ALTERED? WHAT, LAB RATS?

Ty: EXACTLY. NOW, I LOOKED ON-LINE AT 3 TESTING LABS IN MIDTOWN, INCLUDING ONE ON--

POULSON STREET?

BINGO! 1444 POULSON, TEKWORTH LABS.

4 BLOCKS SOUTH OF GARSONS.

YOU'RE MY HERO, MAN.

HUH.

I'LL MEET YOU DOWN THERE.

LATER.

LISTEN, SUSAN, I GOT TO GO DO A LITTLE DETECTIVE WORK.

I WANT TO COME WITH YOU.

I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO COME--

I WANT TO COME WITH YOU.

LET'S GO.

COME ON.

UNH!

I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LAB.

TEST LABS DON'T PUT UP SIGNS.

MAKES THEM TOO MUCH OF A TARGET FOR ANIMAL RIGHTS GROUPS.

DESERTED.

UNH!

WANTED TO GET IN, RIGHT?

AFTER YOU.

UHH.

WERE YOU A JUVENILE DELINQUENT?

NO. I JUST THINK YOU'RE BRINGING THIS OUT IN ME.

YOU STILL NEVER TOLD ME HOW YOU CAME TO KNOW EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY AT GARSONS.

IT'S EASY WHEN YOUR DAD'S A JANITOR.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NOPE.

IT WAS THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PLAYHOUSE.

THAT'S QUITE A PICTURE.

A LITTLE GIRL ALL ALONE IN HER VERY OWN DEPARTMENT STORE.

DIDN'T LAST.

DAD DIED WHEN I WAS 12.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU WENT BACK.

WHEW!

OH, MY GOD. THE SMELL.

ONE DEAD RAT'S ALL IT TAKES.

[GASPS]

I'M SORRY.

I ONLY DO RATS.

[GASPS]

OHH.

Susan: ALL THESE DEAD ANIMALS.

WHAT IS THIS?

FOOD.

OK, HERE WE GO.

NOTICE FROM THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT TO VACATE.

THERE'S A WHOLE LIST OF VIOLATIONS.

SO, WHAT, ONE DAY, THESE PEOPLE JUST LOCKED UP AND WALKED OUT?

Susan: YEAH, BUT IF THEY JUST WALKED OUT, THERE'D STILL BE RATS IN THE CAGES, RIGHT?

UNLESS WHATEVER THEY WERE GIVING THE RATS MADE THEM SO STRONG...

THEY BUSTED OUT ON THEIR OWN.

Ty: AND HAD A FEAST ON ALL THE OTHER TEST ANIMALS.

Jack: SURE. THEY HUNG OUT HERE, GOT FAT, PROBABLY EVEN MUNCHED ON THE OCCASIONAL STRAY DOG OR CAT.

ACACIA FARNESIANA.

THAT'S A SCIENTIFIC CLASSIFICATION, BUT THAT'S NOT AN ANIMAL.

PLANTS.

WHAT'S THAT?

Susan: WAIT A MINUTE.

THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF MATERIAL ON THAT RIGHT HERE.

LOOK.

THEY MUST HAVE BEEN TESTING THE MEDICINAL PROPERTIES OF THESE PLANTS ON THE RATS.

NOW THEY'VE BEEN OUT THERE MULTIPLYING FOR HOW LONG?

THE LAB'S BEEN CLOSED DOWN FOR 2 YEARS.

YOU START WITH MAYBE 500.

A NEW LITTER EVERY 6 WEEKS.

THAT'S MORE THAN HALF A MILLION.

JESUS.

HEY!

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!

CHECK THIS OUT.

OH, MAN.

LOOKS LIKE THEY CHEWED THEMSELVES A BACK DOOR.

Jack: MAYBE TO THAT TUNNEL THEY'RE IN.

MAYBE TO A DEAD LINK.

Susan: A DEAD WHAT?

LINK. EMPTY SEWERS LEFT BEHIND WHEN AN AREA'S REDEVELOPED.

THEY CAN BE HALF A MILE LONG.

IT'S LOOSE.

READY? LIFT.

[BOTH GRUNT]

QUICK!

Ty: HMM.

THIS LITTLE RAT HIGHWAY COULD LEAD ANYWHERE.

HEY!

[ECHOES]

[RATS SCREECH]

Jack: HERE'S GARSONS, THE REC CENTER, AND SUSAN'S APARTMENT.

AND THE INCIDENTS, THE OTHER ONES, ACCORDING TO REPORTS, HERE, HERE, HERE, AND HERE.

IT'S ALL MIDTOWN WITHIN A 10-BLOCK RADIUS--

SOUTH OF 45th STREET, ABOVE 25th STREET, AND BROADWAY, WEST TO 10th AVENUE.

IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT WHERE WE'RE STANDING, TEKWORTH LABS.

SO, THIS IS YOUR ROGUE COLONY THEORY?

IT MAKES SENSE.

NO WAY IN HELL THESE LAB RATS ARE DOING ALL THIS.

WHY DON'T YOU GO IN THERE AND LOOK FOR YOURSELF?

THE DAMAGE THEY DID IS UNBELIEVABLE.

RAY, LOOK, YOU'VE GOT ACCESS TO TOYS NOW THAT I DON'T.

I NEED A REMOTE CAMERA UNIT SO I CAN GET DOWN THERE AND FIND THEM.

I CANNOT HAVE MY PEOPLE OFF WORKING FOR YOU EVERY TIME YOU GET SOME CRAZY IDEA.

LISTEN, WE COULD DO THIS OURSELVES, QUIETLY, NO COMMITTEES, NO PANELS.

I DON'T THINK SO.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS WOULD MAKE A GREAT STORY FOR THE 11:00 NEWS.

SO WOULD THE TRUTH ABOUT THE REC CENTER.

THIS IS THE LAST TIME, JACK.

AND STAY OUT OF THAT BUILDING UNTIL MY CREW GETS HERE TOMORROW.

Jack: YES, SIR.

[WHISPERING] Those files.

We should get them.

I'm telling you, he's gonna take forev-- JACK.

GOT 'EM.

I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE.

MMM.

[LAUGHS]

HEY, NYLA.

HEY, YOU.

WILL YOU SHAMPOO MY HAIR WHEN I GET TO THAT PART?

SURE, SWEETIE.

AND THE SPECIAL SURPRISE RINSE?

YOU GOT IT.

THANKS.

EVERYTHING OK, TIGER?

YEAH.

OK.

[SPLASHING]


[SCREECHES]

ALL RIGHT. WELL, THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU KNOW, DINNER IS NOT GONNA BE MUCH, BUT YOU'RE MORE THAN WELCOME TO JOIN US.

YOU SURE?

ABSOLUTELY.

I'D LOVE TO.

OK.

Amy: MAMA!

MOM! WHAT?

THERE WAS A RAT IN THE TOILET!

WHAT? I LOOKED, BUT I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.

I SAW IT! HE'S IN THERE!


[LAUGHS]

IT'S ALL CLEAR. I CHECKED.

WILL YOU STAY ALL NIGHT?

NO, HONEY. JACK CAN'T STAY THE NIGHT.

BUT, MOM. I WANT HIM TO.

PLEASE, MOM?

IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY.

COME ON. I REALLY WANT HIM TO. PLEASE?

I COULD SLEEP ON THE SOFA.

YEAH, HE COULD STAY ON THE SOFA.

ARE YOU SURE?

I'M SO TIRED, I COULD SLEEP ON A COLD SIDEWALK.

THAT THING'S SPEAKIN' TO ME.

YES!

ALL RIGHT.

Susan: HIT ME.

Jack: YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DO THAT.

OK.

OH! OH!

OF COURSE.

YOU NEVER HIT ON A HARD 17.

BUT IT'S ME. BUT IT'S YOU.

Jack: PFFT!

HA! OK, YOU OWE ME 244 YEARS OF EXTERMINATING SERVICE.

244 YEARS?

YEAH, I'VE BEEN KEEPIN' TRACK.

OH, GOD. I STINK AT THIS GAME WITH YOU.

NO, I'M JUST LUCKY.

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE LUCKY.

I THINK THAT YOU'RE EXCEPTIONAL.

YOU KNOW THAT?

I DON'T THINK OF MYSELF AS EXCEPTIONAL.

HMM. YOU GOT THIS WONDERFUL LITTLE GIRL.

YOU GOT THIS GREAT JOB AND ALL THIS RESPONSIBILITY...

AND YOU'RE VERY CLEVER. YOU KNOW THAT?

I MEAN, THE THING TODAY WITH RAY, THAT WAS--

[LAUGHS]

I THINK I WAS JUST INSPIRED BY YOU, THE WAY YOU DON'T LET ANYTHING DERAIL YOU.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

I THINK IT'S TIME WE GET SOME REST.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Jack: YOU GUYS FROM THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT GET ALL THE GREAT TOYS, DON'T YOU?

WHAT'S THE RANGE ON THIS THING?

2 MILES, ACTUALLY.

OUR NEW SOFTWARE WAS ADAPTED FROM THE BOMB SQUAD'S ROBOT, SO IT'S PRETTY GOOD.


THAT POOL WAS SUCKY.

DEFINITELY WASN'T OUR REC CENTER, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DIDN'T SEE ONE RAT ANYWHERE, DID YOU?

GOOD POINT.

SO WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO NOW?

UH, WELL.

HONEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M FEELING GUILTY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE JACK'S DOING HIS JOB TODAY AND I'M NOT DOING MINE.

THEN YOU SHOULD BE THERE.

YEAH? MM-HMM.

THANKS.

MOM, DO YOU LIKE JACK?

YEAH. WE WORK TOGETHER. I LIKE HIM, YEAH.

NO, I DON'T MEAN LIKE THAT.

I MEAN DO YOU LIKE HIM?

LIKE, DO YOU REALLY LIKE HIM?

OH, DO I LIKE HIM? MM-HMM.

WELL, I--

YEAH. I DO. [GIGGLES]

GOOD, 'CAUSE I DO, TOO.

YOU DO?

SO, YOU WOULDN'T FEEL WEIRD IF THE 3 OF US WENT AND DID SOMETHING TOGETHER?

NO. JACK'S TOTALLY COOL, MOM.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S CALL NYLA AND HAVE HER MEET US AT GARSONS.

YEAH. COME ON. ALL RIGHT.

HERE WE GO.

HOW FAR IS IT TO RATVILLE?

[SQUEAKS]

THAT DIDN'T TAKE LONG.

[SQUEAKS]

Ty: HERE THEY COME.

GIVE ME A 180.

Man: WHERE ARE THEY ALL COMING FROM?

Jack: KEEP GOIN'.

GO DEEPER.

Ty: LOOK AT THE DEBRIS IN THE PIPE.

REALLY CAUSED SOME DAMAGE DOWN THERE.

Jack: PUSH THROUGH THEM.

WHAT'S THAT?

GOOD GOD.

HOME SWEET HOME.

TY, WE'RE GONNA NEED, UH, 5 TANKS OF PHENYLALKAPHINE.

LET'S DO THIS WHILE WE CAN.

5?

Jack: ALL RIGHT, 10.

[ALL SCREECHING]

15.

UH, WAIT A MINUTE.

ARE WE TALKING ABOUT A TOXIC SUBSTANCE RIGHT UNDERNEATH US HERE?

OH, NO. DON'T WORRY.

IT HITS THEIR NERVOUS SYSTEMS, NOT OURS.

Man: THEY'RE ALL OVER US, MAN.

UH, UH, BACK THE CAMERA OFF.

OK, GET-- JUST GET A LITTLE CLOSER.

ALL RIGHT.

UP AGAINST THE WALL.

I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF TO LOOK OUT FOR DOWN THERE.

[ALL SCREECH]

UH-OH.

Jack: WHAT UH-OH? OH, NO.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

OH, SPARKS. I THINK I JUST CLIPPED ONE OF THE POWER LINES.

Ty: DAMN, IT'S MAKING 'EM CRAZY.

[ALL SCREECHING]

WHERE ARE THEY GOING?

Ty: ZOOM IN. ZOOM IN THERE.

THEY'RE CHEWIN' THROUGH A PIPE.

THAT LIGHT, WHAT ARE WE LOOKIN' AT?

Tech guy: I THINK, UM--

YES. IT'S THE SUBWAY.


Amy: WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S RESEARCH ON PLANTS.

RESEARCH?

YEAH, THESE ARE RARE PLANTS.

THEY MAY CURE DISEASES SOMEDAY, SO THEY TEST THEM ON THE ANIMALS.

AC-A-CA CA--

ACACIA FARNESIANA, ALSO CALLED GOLDEN RAINTREE.

DELONIX REGIA.

FLAME OF THE FOREST.

MOM, THAT'S LIKE THE SCENT YOU GAVE ME.

SEE? LOOK.

CHECK MY BACKPACK. SEE? LOOK. SEE?

THAT'S THE SAME FLOWER.

[SCREECHES] AAH!

OH!

[ALL SCREAM]

[BRAKES SQUEAL]

[ALL CHATTER]

HEY! SHE'S GOTTA BE UPTOWN.

NO, NO, NO, WEST.

Amy: OH.

MOM, WILL YOU GET ME ANOTHER ONE?

SURE, HONEY.

HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

Passenger: YEAH?

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE DEAD ON THE TRACK, FOLKS, SO I'M GONNA GO CHECK IT OUT.

NOW, IT'LL ONLY TAKE A FEW MINUTES, SO EVERYBODY JUST SIT TIGHT, OK?

ARE YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE US HERE ALONE?

SIR, JUST CALM DOWN. JUST SIT TIGHT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. ALL RIGHT?

OH, THAT'S NICE. WE'RE TRAPPED.


Woman: JUST LIKE, AND ONE THING--

LATE ENOUGH. THIS IS NOT FAIR.

IT'S LIKE BEIN' TRAPPED IN A TIJUANA WHOREHOUSE.

Woman: HEY, JUST SETTLE DOWN, MISTER.

YOU'RE MAKIN' EVERYONE HERE NERVOUS.

OH, SO WE SHOULD START TAKING ORDERS FROM YOU?

Woman: JUST SIT DOWN.

[THUMPING ON ROOF]

Woman: IS IT RAINING?

WHAT'S THAT?

MOM, WHAT'S THAT?

I DON'T KNOW, HONEY, BUT THE MAN'S GONNA CHECK IT OUT.

[SQUEALS]

AAH!

[ALL SCREECHING]

[THUMPS ON ROOF, SCREECHING]

COME HERE.

[DOOR BANGS]

[SCREAMING] LOOK!

[SCREECHING]

[SCREECHING]

AA-AAH! AAH!

[PANICKED SHOUTING]

[GUNSHOTS]

THEY GOTTA BE DOWN THAT TUNNEL.

COME ON!

EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!

FIRE EXTINGUISHER.

GET ANOTHER ONE, ALL RIGHT?

[FRIGHTENED SCREAMS]

HEY!

AAH. AAH!

GET TO THE FRONT OF THE TRAIN.

GET TO THE FRONT!

Woman: GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF!

Woman: AAH. GET THEM OFF!

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

[SCREECHING]

IT'S WORKING.

LET ME OUTTA HERE. LET ME OUTTA HERE!

GET BACK!

[YELLING]

SUSAN!

GET BACK TO THE STATION.

[PANICKED CRIES]


AMY. SUSAN--

PLEASE STEP THIS WAY.

COME ON, GENTLEMEN.

SUSAN!

JACK!

YOU GUYS OK?

WE'RE OK.

THE RATS, THEY HATE US. THEY'RE IN THE APARTMENT, THE TRAIN, EVERYWHERE WE GO.

NO, HONEY, IT'S NOT US. IT'S THE PERFUME.

JACK, THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO FLAME OF THE FOREST.

WHAT? YOU MEAN--

YOU MEAN THE PERFUME BOTTLE I BROKE ON THE TRAIN?

YEAH. IT'S THE PERFUME THAT'S ALL OVER GARSONS' THIRD FLOOR.

IT'S ONE OF THE PLANTS THEY TESTED ON THE RATS.

IT MAKES THEM SWARM TO IT.

NYLA, TAKE AMY WITH YOU, CLOSE EVERYTHING UP, AND I'LL COME GET YOU, OK?

HONEY, I'M GONNA STAY HERE AND HELP JACK, ALL RIGHT?

I LOVE YOU.

MOM, KILL 'EM. KILL 'EM ALL.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE, SWEETHEART.

YOU DON'T WORRY. OK?

JACK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

RAY--RAY, LISTEN.

I WASN'T BLOWING SMOKE.

IT'S A COLONY OF RATS.

THEY BRED 'EM IN A LAB.

THEY ESCAPED.

THEY GOTTA BE DESTROYED NOW.

NOW, RAY, BEFORE THEY SPREAD.

I'M NOT DOIN' ANYTHING UNTIL THERE'S BEEN A THOROUGH INVESTIGATION.

RAY, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND SINCE YOU JOINED FORCES WITH THIS CITY?

THESE RATS ARE CARRYING WEIL'S DISEASE.

THEY'RE AGGRESSIVE.

IF THEY GET OUT THERE AND CROSSBREED WITH THE REST OF THE RATS IN THE CITY, WE'RE REALLY SCREWED.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

NO. YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE ONE THAT'S SCREWED.

IF YOU STICK YOUR FACE IN THIS MESS AGAIN, I'M GOING TO PERSONALLY SUSPEND YOUR LICENSE, AND I WILL THROW YOUR ASS IN JAIL.

THAT'LL FIX THE PROBLEM.

I MEAN IT, JACK!

THAT'LL FIX THE PROBLEM.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

OK, I GOT AN IDEA.

BUT I NEED YOUR HELP.

ALL RIGHT.

THANKS, MS. PAGE.

A MAN'S GOTTA DO WHAT A MAN'S GOTTA DO.

ALL RIGHT.

OFF YOU GO.

I HATE RATS. UHH.

I THOUGHT I'D SEEN IT ALL, JACK.

Jack: STICK AROUND.

YOU MIGHT SEE ANOTHER SIGHT OR TWO IF WE'RE LUCKY.

SO, UH, WHICH WAY DO WE SEND THIS THING?

UPTOWN.

TOWARDS THE REC CENTER, ABOUT 4 BLOCKS.

TY, LISTEN.

I CAN'T GUARANTEE PHENYLALKAPHINE WILL WORK.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO USE SOMETHING STRONGER.

SHUT UP. LET'S FIGURE OUT WHAT WE SHOULD DO NEXT.

ALL RIGHT.

STAY HERE AND MAKE SURE THIS DAMN THING DOES WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO, OK?

GOTCHA. ALL RIGHT.

READY?

AM I READY? YEAH. YOU READY?

I'M READY. LET'S GO.

WE'RE OUTTA HERE.

YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS FROM THE CITY HAVE A HABIT OF DROPPING IN WITHOUT CALLING.

WELL, YOU KNOW HOW THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT IS.

YEAH, I HEARD THAT.

YOU'D THINK THEY WERE THE SECRET SERVICE THE WAY THEY STRUT AROUND HERE.

WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO IN HERE?

WELL, HARRY, WE'RE GONNA BAIT THE POOL.

THEN WE'RE GONNA LINE THE PERIMETER WITH A SERIES OF LOW-LEVEL INCENDIARY DEVICES.

THEN WE'RE GONNA WAIT FOR IT TO FILL UP WITH RATS...

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA ZAP 'EM.

IT'S FINE WITH ME, SO LONG AS YOU GOT THE PAPERWORK.

[MOTOR DIES]

OH, THIS IS BAD.

I LOST A SERVO.

I DON'T HAVE ONE TO REPLACE IT WITH.

SORRY.

[HEAVY SIGH] I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT.

NOT AT ALL.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

HEY--HEY, THAT'S GONNA HURT THE POOL.

IT'S OK, HARRY.

THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT WILL PAY FOR THE WHOLE THING TO BE REDONE WHEN WE'RE FINISHED.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

[CHITTERS]

[SQUEAKING]

[FRENZIED SCREECHING]


[RATS SCREECHING]

IT'S TIME TO GO.

TY, TALK TO ME.

YEAH, HEY, I'M HERE, MAN.

NOT GETTIN' PAID NEARLY ENOUGH MONEY FOR WHAT I'M DOIN'.

WHERE ARE YOU? WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?

Ty, over radio: MANUAL DELIVERY.

LITTLE RED WAGON BROKE DOWN.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. YOU GET OUTTA THERE.

WE GOT OUR FIRST CUSTOMERS HERE ALREADY.

Jack: YOU GOT PLACES TO BAIL?

ABOUT EVERY 20 FEET OR SO.

Jack: WATCH YOUR ASS.

[SCREECHING]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE.

[FRENZIED SCREECHING]

OH, MY GOD!

THIS IS WORKING A LOT FASTER THAN I THOUGHT.

HERE, LAY THESE OUT.

WE'RE GONNA SET 8 OF THESE AROUND THE POOL.

SPACE 'EM EVENLY.

THEN WE'RE GONNA WIRE 'EM TOGETHER AND BLOW 'EM ALL AT ONCE.

NO SHRAPNEL, JUST ONE MAJOR CONCUSSIVE BLAST.

AS LONG AS IT KILLS THEM.

HERE, RUN THIS DOWN.

[STRAINED GROAN]

[BEEPS]

WE'RE SET.

OK.

Jack: TY, I'M READY TO GO. WHERE ARE YOU?

COULD YOU SHUT UP, JACK?

TY, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, DAMN IT?!

ONE MORE TO GO.

TY, I'M READY TO GO, BUT I CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU HERE.

TY!

[PANICKED CRY]

AAH!

THE AIR VENT.

TY?!

TY?!

[SCREAMING]

AAH!

AAH!

[SCREAMING]

SUSAN!

SUSAN!

SUSAN! [SUSAN CRIES OUT]

[SHRIEKING]

SUSAN! SUSAN, WHERE ARE YOU?

AAH!

SUSAN!

UNH!

REACH UP. REACH UP FOR MY HAND!

SUSAN.

SUSAN, REACH FOR MY HAND!

OH!

I'VE GOT YOU. HOLD ON.

PULL, SUSAN.

[SCREAMING]

COME ON, COME ON!

[BEEPING]

[PAINED SCREECHING]

[SCREAMING]


Susan: TOLD YOU I WAS LUCKY.

NOT LUCKY, EXCEPTIONAL.

EVEN THE DOCTOR SAID SO.

SO, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANNA DO NOW?

HOW 'BOUT SOME LUNCH?

YEAH. I'M REALLY HUNGRY.

I KNOW A GREAT MOM-AND-POP PLACE IN LITTLE ITALY.

YES, BUT IS IT SAFE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IS IT SAFE?

YOU KNOW, I HEAR THE CITY'S FINEST HAVE A REPUTATION.

[LAUGHS]

SUSAN, DON'T WORRY.

THEY'RE A CLIENT.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

[TRASH RUSTLING]

[SCREECHING]