Did you know there are more people with genius IQs living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?
That can't possibly be true. It is.
What would account for that?
Well, first, an awful lot of people live in China, but here's my question.
How do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all got 1600 on their SATs?
I didn't know they take SATs in China. They don't.
I wasn't talking about China anymore, I was talking about me.
You got a 1600?
Yes. I could sing in an a Capella group, but I can't sing.
Does that mean you actually got nothing wrong?
I could row crew or invent a $25 PC.
Or you could get into a final club.
Or I get into a final club.
You know, from a woman's perspective, sometimes not singing in an a Capella group is a good thing.
This is serious.
On the other hand, I do like guys who row crew.
Well, I can't do that.
I was kidding.
And, yes, I got nothing wrong on the test.
Have you ever tried? I'm trying right now.
To row crew? To get into a final club.
To row crew? No. Are you, like, whatever, delusional?
Maybe it's just sometimes you say two things at once.
I'm not sure which one I'm supposed to be aiming at.
But you've seen guys who row crew, right?
Okay, well, they're bigger than me. They're world-class athletes.
And a second ago, you said you like guys who row crew so I assumed you had met one.
I guess I just meant I like the idea of it. You know, the way a girl likes cowboys.
Should we get something to eat?
Would you like to talk about something else?
No. It's just since the beginning of the conversation about finals club, I think I may have missed a birthday.
There are really more people in China with genius IQs than the entire population...
The Phoenix is the most diverse. The Fly Club... Roosevelt punched the Porc.
The Porcellian, the Porc. It's the best of the best.
Which Roosevelt? Theodore.
Is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls who want to party with the next Fed chairman?
So you can see why it's so important to get in.
Okay, well, which is the easiest to get into?
Why would you ask me that? I was just asking.
None of them. That's the point.
My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures one summer and Eduardo won't come close to getting in.
The ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here.
Must be nice. He made $300,000 in a summer?
He likes meteorology. You said it was oil futures.
You can read the weather, you can predict the price of heating oil.
I think you asked me that because you think the final club that's easiest to get into is the one where I'll have the best chance.
You asked me which one was the easiest to get into because you think that that's the one where I'll have the best chance.
The one that's the easiest to get into would be the one where anybody has the best chance.
You didn't ask me which one was the best one, you asked me which one was the easiest one.
I was honestly just asking, okay? I was just asking to ask.
Mark, I'm not speaking in code. Erica.
You're obsessed with finals clubs.
You have finals clubs OCD and you need to see someone about it who will prescribe you some sort of medication.
You don't care if the side effects may include blindness.
Final clubs. Not "finals clubs."
And there's a difference between being obsessed and being motivated.
Yes. There is.
Well, you do. That was cryptic, so you do speak in code.
I didn't mean to be cryptic.
I'm just saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs.
Why? Because they're exclusive.
And fun, and they lead to a better life.
Teddy Roosevelt didn't get elected president because he was a member of the Phoenix Club.
He was a member of the Porcellian, and yes, he did.
Well, why don't you just concentrate on being the best you you can be?
Did you really just say that?
I was kidding.
Just because something's trite doesn't make it less true.
I wanna try to be straightforward with you and tell you I think you might want to be a little more supportive.
If I get in, I will be taking you to the events and the gatherings, and you'll be meeting a lot of people you wouldn't normally get to meet.
You would do that for me?
Well, I wanna try and be straightforward with you and let you know that we're not anymore.
What do you mean? We're not dating anymore. I'm sorry.
Is this a joke? No, it's not.
You're breaking up with me?
You're gonna introduce me to people I wouldn't normally have the chance to meet?
What the... What is that supposed to mean?
Wait, settle down. What is it supposed to mean?
Erica, the reason we're able to sit here and drink right now is 'cause you used to sleep with the door guy.
"The door guy"? His name is Bobby. I have not slept with the door guy.
The door guy is a friend of mine, and he's a perfectly good class of people.
And what part of Long Island are you from, Wimbledon?
Wait. Wait, wait. I'm going back to my dorm.
Is this real? Yes.
Then wait, I apologize, okay? I have to go study.
I'm sorry, I mean it. I appreciate that, but I have to go study.
Come on, you don't have to study. Let's just talk.
I can't. Why?
Because it is exhausting. Dating you is like dating a StairMaster.
All I meant is that you're not likely to... Currently...
I wasn't making a comment on your appearance.
I was saying that you go to BU. I was stating a fact, that's all, and if it seemed rude, then I apologize.
I have to go study. You don't have to study.
Why do you keep saying I don't have to study?
'Cause you go to BU.
Do you want to get some food?
I am sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education.
And I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even.
I think we should just be friends. I don't want friends.
I was just being polite.
I have no intention of being friends with you.
I'm under some pressure right now from my OS class and if we could just order some food, I think we should...
Okay, you are probably going to be a very successful computer person.
But you're gonna go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd.
And I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that that won't be true.
It'll be because you're an asshole.
Erica Albright's a bitch.
Do you think that's because her family changed their name from Albrecht, or do you think it's because all BU girls are bitches?
For the record, she may look like a 34C, but she's getting all kinds of help from our friends at Victoria's Secret.
She's a 34B, as in barely anything there. False advertising.
The truth is, she has a nice face.
I need to do something to take my mind off her.
Easy enough, except I need an idea.
I'm a little intoxicated, I'm not gonna lie.
So what if it's not even 10:00 p.m. And it's a Tuesday night?
The Kirkland facebook is open on my desktop, and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics.
Billy Olson's sitting here and had the idea of putting some of the pictures next to pictures of farm animals and have people vote on who's hotter.
Good call, Mr. Olson.
Yeah, it's on. I'm not gonna do the farm animals, but I like the idea of comparing two people together.
It gives the whole thing a very "Turing" feel since people's ratings of the pictures will be more implicit than, say, choosing a number to represent each person's hotness, like they do on hotornot. Com.
The first thing we're going to need is a lot of pictures.
Unfortunately, Harvard doesn't keep a public centralized facebook, so I'm going to have to get all the images from the individual houses that people are in.
Let the hacking begin.
First up is Kirkland.
They keep everything open and allow indexes in their Apache configuration.
So a little Wget magic is all that's necessary to download the entire Kirkland facebook.
Next is Eliot.
They're also open, but with no indexes on Apache.
I can run an empty search and it returns all of the images in the database in a single page.
And I can save the page and Mozilla will save all the images for me.
Excellent. Moving right along.
Excuse me! Everybody!
You are at one of the oldest, one of the most exclusive clubs, not just at Harvard, but in the world.
And I want to welcome you all to Phoenix Club's first party of the fall semester!
Lowell has some security. They require a user name/password combo, and I'm gonna go ahead and say they don't have access to the main FAS user database, so they have no way of detecting an intrusion.
Adams has no security, but limits the number of results to 20 a page.
All I need to do is break out the same script I used on Lowell and we're set.
Quincy has no online facebook. What a sham.
Nothing I can do about that.
Dunster is intense.
Not only is there no public directory, but there's no directory at all.
You have to do searches, and if your search returns more than 20 matches, nothing gets returned.
And once you do get results, they don't link directly to the images.
They link to a PHP that redirects or something. Weird.
This may be difficult. I'll come back later.
Hey, Shark Week's on. What?
Great white, beautiful fish. Nice.
Leverett is a little better. They still make you search, but you can do an empty search and get links to pages with every student's picture.
It's slightly obnoxious that they only let you view one picture at a time, and there's no way I'm going to go to 500 pages to download pics one at a time.
So it's definitely necessary to break out Emacs and modify that Perl script.
Here you go.
Hey, what's going on?
Perfect timing. Eduardo's here and he's going to have the key ingredient.
Hey, Mark. Wardo.
You and Erica split up.
How did you know that?
It's on your blog.
Yeah. Are you all right?
I need you. I'm here for you.
No, I need the algorithm you use to rank chess players.
Are you okay? We're ranking girls.
You mean other students. Yeah.
You think this is such a good idea?
I need the algorithm. Mark...
I need the algorithm.
Give each girl a base rating of 1400.
At any given time Girl A has a rating R-a and Girl B has a rating R-b.
When any two girls are matched up, there's an expectation of which will win based on their current rating, right?
Yeah. And those expectations are expressed this way.
Let's write it.
One on the left.
Yeah, still the right.
It works. Who should we send it to first?
Who are you gonna send it to? Just a couple of people.
The question is, who are they gonna send it to?
Hey, guys, check this out.
Someone go to the left. Dude, do left.
Look at these girls. Right or left?
Left is hot. Left? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right or left?
That's my roommate.
Oh, my God. The girl on the left.
This is pathetic.
He blogged about you.
You don't wanna read it.
Is this yours?
I stole it from a tranny.
Get the hell out of here!
Left. One on the right.
Man, that's an awful lot of traffic.
You think maybe we shouldn't shut it down before we get into trouble?
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What?
At 4:00 in the morning?
Well, there's a very unusual amount of traffic to the switch at Kirkland.
You're saying it's unusual for 4:00 in the morning?
No, this'd be unusual for halftime at the Super Bowl.
I gotta go in.
What's going on?
Harvard's network is about to crash.
You don't think...
Go see if it's everybody's.
I can't connect.
The network's down.
Unless it's a coincidence, I think this is us.
It's not a coincidence.
So you were called in front of the Ad Board.
That's not what happened.
You weren't called in front of the Administrative Board?
No, back. I mean back at the bar with Erica Albright. She said all that?
Mark... That I said that stuff to her?
I was reading from the transcript of her deposition.
Yeah, why would you even need to depose her?
That's really for us to decide.
You think if I know she can make me look like a jerk, I'll be more likely to settle.
Why don't we stretch our legs for a minute?
Can we do that? It's been almost three hours.
And frankly, you did spend an awful lot of time embarrassing Mr. Zuckerberg with the girl's testimony from the bar.
I'm not embarrassed, she just made a lot of that up.
She was under oath.
Then I guess that would be the first time somebody's lied under oath.
The site got 2,200 hits within two hours?
These guys are just freaking fast.
Is there any way to make this a fair fight?
Jump out and swim.
I think we'd have to jump out and drown.
Well, you could row forward and I could row backward.
We're genetically identical. Science says we'd stay in one place.
Just row the damn boat.
You guys hear about this? What?
Two nights ago, a sophomore choked the network from a laptop at Kirkland.
Really? At 4:00 a.m.
He set up a website where you vote on the hotness of female undergrads.
What were we doing that none of us heard about this?
I don't know.
A three-hour low-rate technical row before breakfast.
Full course load. Studying.
Another three hours in the tank and then studying.
I'm not sure how we missed it.
How much activity was there on this thing?
Twenty-two thousand page requests.
Cam, this guy hacked the facebook of seven houses.
He set up the whole website in one night, and he did it while he was drunk.
Well, how do you know he was drunk? He was blogging simultaneously.
You know what I think? Way ahead of you.
This is our guy.
"Cameron" spelled the usual way.
Tyler spelled the usual way, and my last name is the same as my brother's.
Mr. Zuckerberg, this is an Administrative Board hearing.
You're being accused of intentionally breaching security, violating copyrights,
You're also charged with being in violation of university policy, on distribution of digitized images.
Before we begin with our questioning, you're allowed to make a statement.
Would you like to do so?
You know, I've already apologized in The Crimson to the ABHW, to Fuerza Latina, and to any women at Harvard who may have been insulted, as I take it that they were.
As for any charges stemming from the breach of security, I believe I deserve some recognition from this board.
I'm sorry? Yes.
I don't understand.
You deserve recognition?
I believe I've pointed out some pretty gaping holes in your system.
Excuse me, may I? Yes.
Mr. Zuckerberg, I'm in charge of security for all computers on the Harvard network, and I can assure you of its sophistication.
In fact, it was that level of sophistication that led us to you in less than four hours.
Four hours? Yes, sir.
That would be impressive, except if you had known what you were looking for, you would have seen it written on my dorm room window.
Six months academic probation.
Wow. Well, they had to make an example out of you.
They had my blog.
I shouldn't have written that thing about the farm animals.
That was stupid.
But I was kidding, for God's sakes. Doesn't anybody have a sense of humor?
I tried to stop you. I know.
How do you do this thing where you manage to get all girls to hate us?
And why do I let you? I know.
You can't do that. Wardo, I said I know.
Okay, let's look at a sample problem.
Suppose we're given a computer with a 16-bit virtual address and a page size of 256 bytes.
The system uses one-level page tables that start at address hex 400.
Maybe you want DMA on your 16-bit system. Who knows?
The first few pages are reserved for hardware flags, etc.
Assume page-table entries have eight status bits.
The eight status bits would then be...
And I see we have our first surrender.
Don't worry, Mr. Zuckerberg.
Brighter men than you have tried and failed this class.
One valid bit, one modified bit, one reference bit and five permission bits.
That is correct.
Does everybody see how he got there?
You Mark Zuckerberg? Yeah.
Cameron Winklevoss. Hi.
Are you guys related?
That's good. Funny.
We never heard that before.
So, what can I do for you? Did I insult your girlfriends?
No. You didn't. Actually, I don't know.
Yeah, we never asked. We should do that.
We have an idea we want to talk to you about.
You got a minute?
You guys look like you spend some time at the gym.
We have to. Why?
We row crew.
Yeah, I've got a minute. Great.
So, you ever been inside the Porcellian? No.
You understand we can't take you past the bike room, because you're not a member.
You want a sandwich or something? Okay.
Mark, right? Yeah.
Mark, this is Divya Narendra, our partner. Hi.
We were really impressed with Facemash.
When we checked you out, you also built CourseMatch.
I don't know CourseMatch.
You go online and see what courses your friends are taking.
It's really smart, man.
We were talking about CourseMatch.
It was kind of a no-brainer.
But you invented something in high school, too, right?
An app for an MP3 player that recognizes your taste in music.
Anybody try to buy it?
Wow. How much?
Didn't sell it. Uploaded it for free.
For free? Yeah.
Okay, well, we have something that we've been working on for a while and we think it's great.
It's called the Harvard Connection.
You create your own page. Interests, bio, friends, pics.
And then people can go online, see your bio, request to be your...
Yeah, how is that different from MySpace or Friendster?
Harvard. Edu is the most prestigious e-mail address in the country, man.
I mean, the whole site's kind of based on the idea that girls...
Not to put anything indelicately, but...
Girls wanna go with guys who go to Harvard.
Divya and my brother don't have trouble putting things indelicately.
The main difference between what we're talking about and MySpace or Friendster, or any of those other social networking sites is...
Is exclusivity. Right?
We'd love for you to work with us, Mark.
I mean, we need a gifted programmer who's creative.
And we know that you've been taking it in the shins.
Women's groups are ready to declare a fatwa.
But, you know, this could help rehabilitate your image.
Wow. You would do that for me?
We'd like to work with you.
Our first programmer graduated and went to work for Google.
Our second programmer just got overwhelmed with schoolwork.
We would need you to build the site and write the code, and we'll provide all the...
That's what you said?
It was three or four years ago. I don't know what I said.
When did you come to Eduardo?
I don't understand that question.
Do you remember answering in the affirmative?
When did you come to Eduardo with the idea for Facebook?
It was called The Facebook then.
This doesn't need to be that difficult.
I'm currently in the middle of two different lawsuits.
Did you answer affirmatively when Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss and Divya Narendra asked you to build Harvard Connection?
Did you say yes?
I said I'd help.
When did you approach Mr. Saverin with the idea for The Facebook?
I wouldn't say I approached him.
Sy. You can answer the question.
At a party at Alpha Epsilon Pi.
The Jewish fraternity.
It was Caribbean Night.
It's not that guys like me are generally attracted to Asian girls.
It's that Asian girls are generally attracted to guys like me.
I'm developing an algorithm to define the connection between Jewish guys and Asian girls.
I don't think it's that complicated. They're hot, they're smart, they're not Jewish, and they can't dance.
Hey, Mark's here.
Be right back.
I think I've come up with something.
Hang on. I gotta tell you something that you're not gonna believe.
I got punched by the Phoenix.
Are you kidding? No.
I mean, it's just the first of a four-step process, but they slid the invitation under my door tonight.
I go to my first punch party tomorrow.
You got punched by the Phoenix.
Yeah, but, you know, it was probably just a diversity thing.
It was just a diversity thing. Just ride that horse until...
What did you wanna talk to me about?
You said you'd come up with something.
Yeah, I think I've come up with something. Come outside and let's talk.
It's 20 degrees outside.
I can't stare at that loop of Niagara Falls, which has absolutely nothing to do with the Caribbean.
People came to Facemash in a stampede, right?
But it wasn't because they saw pictures of hot girls.
You can go anywhere on the Internet and see pictures of hot girls.
It was because they saw pictures of girls that they knew.
People want to go on the Internet and check out their friends, so why not build a website that offers that?
Friends, pictures, profiles, whatever you can visit.
Browse around. Maybe it's someone you just met at a party.
But I'm not talking about a dating site.
I'm talking about taking the entire social experience of college and putting it online.
I can't feel my legs. I know.
I'm totally psyched about this, too. But, Wardo?
"It would be exclusive."
You would have to know the people on the site to get past your own page.
Like getting punched.
Now, that's good.
Wardo, it's like a final club, except we're the president.
I told him I thought it sounded great.
It was a great idea.
There was nothing to hack.
People were gonna provide their own pictures, their own information.
And people had the ability to invite, or not invite, their friends to join.
See, in a world where social structure was everything, that was the thing.
It was a big project, and he was going to have to write tens of thousands of lines of code, so I wondered why he was coming to me and not his roommates, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. They were programmers.
We're gonna need a little start-up cash to rent the servers and get it online.
So that was why.
Did he offer terms? Yes.
We'll split it, 70/30.
70 for me, 30 for you for putting up the $1,000 and for handling everything on the business end. You're CFO.
And you said?
I said, "Let's do it."
Okay. Did he add anything else?
It probably was a diversity thing.
But so what?
Why do you think he said that?
Gretchen, excuse me for interrupting, but whose discovery is this?
Sy, if you'll let me continue with my line of questioning.
What are you suggesting?
That I was jealous of Eduardo for getting punched by the Phoenix and began a plan to screw him out of a company I hadn't even invented yet. Were you?
Gretchen. Jealous of Eduardo?
Stop typing. We're off the record.
Ma'am, I know you've done your homework, and so you know that money isn't a big part of my life.
But at the moment, I could buy Mount Auburn Street, take the Phoenix Club and turn it into my ping-pong room.
I'll let you know how the party is.
We recognize that you're a plaintiff in one suit involving Facebook, and a witness in another.
At any time in the weeks prior to Mark's telling you his idea, did he mention Tyler Winklevoss, Cameron Winklevoss, Divya Narendra or Harvard Connection?
Yes. He said they'd asked him to work on their site, but that he looked at what they had and decided it wasn't worth his time.
He said even his most pathetic friends knew more about getting people interested in a website than these guys.
"These guys," meaning my clients.
Yes. He resented... Mark resented that your clients thought that he needed to rehabilitate his image after Facemash.
But Mark didn't want to rehabilitate anything.
With Facemash, he'd hacked into the Harvard computers, he'd thumbed his nose at the Ad Board, he'd gotten a lot of notoriety.
Facemash did exactly what he wanted it to do.
Were you aware that while Mr. Zuckerberg was building The Facebook, he was also communicating with the plaintiffs?
Not at the time, I wasn't. But...
It really didn't have much to do with the Winklevosses' dating site.
How would you know? You weren't even there.
Were you aware that while Mr. Zuckerberg was building The Facebook, he was leading the plaintiffs to believe he was building Harvard Connection?
You're offering a conclusion not found in evidence.
We are about to find it in evidence.
From Mark Zuckerberg to Tyler Winklevoss.
November 30th, 2003.
"I read over all the stuff you sent me re: Harvard Connection.
"And it seems like it shouldn't take too long to implement.
"So we can talk about it after I get all the basic functionality up tomorrow night."
From Mark Zuckerberg to Cameron Winklevoss. December 1 st, 2003.
"Sorry I was unreachable tonight. I just got about three of your missed calls.
"I was working on a problem set for my systems class."
From Mark Zuckerberg to Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss.
December 10, 2003.
"This week has been pretty busy thus far with classes and work, "so I think it's probably best to postpone the meeting."
"I'm also really busy tomorrow."
Okay, anybody else feel like there's something up with this guy?
Tell him okay, but we do have to make sure that we meet up before we all go off for break.
I know, I know. Yeah, watch out.
I need a dedicated Linux box running Apache with a MySQL back end.
It's gonna cost a little more money.
How much more? About 200 more.
Do we need it? Gotta handle the traffic.
Do it. I already did.
Hey, guess what?
I made the second cut.
You should be proud of that right there. Don't worry if you don't make it any further.
I'll get out of here.
From Mark Zuckerberg to Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss and Divya Narendra.
December 15th, 2003.
"I have a CS problem set that I'm just getting started with
"and it should be about 15 hours of coding, so I'll be busy tomorrow night."
"I won't really be free to meet until next Wednesday afternoon."
"I have to cancel Wednesday afternoon.
"I've basically been in the lab this whole time, and also I..."
"...won't be able to do Saturday, as I have to meet up with my parents."
As the plaque reads, this is John Harvard, founder of Harvard University in 1638.
It's also called the Statue of Three Lies.
What are the three lies?
The three lies. First...
Take your pants off. I know.
One, Harvard was founded in 1636, not 1638.
Two, Harvard was not founded by John Harvard.
And three, that is not John Harvard.
Who is it?
It's a friend of the sculptor, Daniel Chester.
Keep your jacket on.
Thirty-nine days after Mr. Zuckerberg's initial meeting with my clients, and he still hadn't completed work on Harvard Connection.
But on January 11th, 2004, Mr. Zuckerberg registered the domain name The Facebook via Network Solutions.
To the best of your knowledge, had he even begun work on Harvard Connection?
Not to my knowledge. No.
What in the world is this?
"Hey, Cameron, I'm still a little skeptical that we have enough functionality in the site
"to really draw the attention and gain the critical mass necessary
"to get a site like this to run"?
"We'll speak soon"?
This is the first time he mentioned any problem?
Yes, it was.
You sent 36 e-mails to Mr. Zuckerberg and received 16 e-mails in return, and this was the first time he indicated he was not happy.
He had 42 days to study our system and get out ahead.
Do you see any of your code on Facebook? Sy, could you...
Did I use any of your code?
You stole our whole goddamn idea.
Fellas. What? Match.com for Harvard guys?
Can I continue with my deposition?
You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this.
If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook.
I can't wait to stand over your shoulder and watch you write us a check.
February 4, 2004.
There is a girl in your art history class. Her name is Stephanie Attis.
Do you happen to know if she has a boyfriend?
Have you ever seen her with anyone?
And, if not, do you happen to know if she's looking to go out with anyone?
People don't walk around with a sign on them that says...
We were supposed to meet at 9:00.
Have you slept yet? I have to add something.
Shit, that looks good. That looks really good.
It's clean and simple.
No Disneyland, no "live nude girls." But watch.
What'd you write?
"Relationship Status." "Interested In."
This is what drives life at college. "Are you having sex or aren't you?"
It's why people take certain classes and sit where they sit and do what they do.
And at its center, you know, that's what The Facebook is gonna be about.
People are gonna log on because after all the cake and watermelon, there's a chance they're actually gonna...
Gonna get laid. ...meet a girl. Yes.
That is really good.
And that was it.
What do you mean? It's ready.
It's ready? Right now? Yeah. That was it.
And here's the masthead.
You made a masthead. Yeah.
"Eduardo Saverin, co-founder and CFO." Yeah.
You have no idea what that's gonna mean to my father.
Sure I do.
So when's it going live?
Right now. Get your laptop out.
What? Why do we need my laptop?
Because you got e-mails for everybody at the Phoenix.
Yeah, I'm not sure if it's gonna be cool with them that I spam their e-mails.
This is not spam. No, I know it's not spam.
If we send it to our friends, it's just gonna bounce around Dworkin.
I haven't gotten in yet.
These guys know people. And I need their e-mails.
Give me the mailing list.
Yeah, they're literary geniuses because the world's most obvious Lewis Carroll reference is in...
They're not so bad. I'm just saying.
Yeah, you're right.
The site's live.
You know, let's go get a drink and celebrate.
Mark, are you praying?
Whatever happened to Cole Porter and Irving Berlin?
It's a Valentine's Day theme. They're playing love songs.
'Cause Cole Porter and Irving Berlin never wrote any love songs.
Honey, you should put your laptop away.
Seven different people spammed me the same link.
KC. What is it?
I don't know.
But I'm really hoping it's Cats That Look Like Hitler, 'cause I can never get enough of that.
No, it's not.
This isn't mine.
Okay, what is wrong?
It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
We need 20 minutes!
I just wanted to let you know that Zuckerberg stole our website.
He stole our website.
It's been live for more than 36 hours.
Mr. Hotchkiss? Ty, lawyer's on the phone with Dad.
Yes, sir, I'm here with my brother Tyler and our business partner Divya.
"Welcome to The Facebook.
"The Facebook is an online directory that connects people
"through different social networks.
"You must have a harvard. Edu address to register."
Yeah, I called earlier. I'm looking for Mark Zuckerberg.
Yes, sir. He's actually quoted a couple times.
I can read it to you.
"'Everyone's been talking a lot about a universal facebook within Harvard,' he says."
"He" meaning Mark.
"'I think it's kind of silly that it would take the university
"'a couple of years to get around to it.
"'I can do a classier job than they can and I did it in a week."'
Tell him Divya Narendra called.
I know, that's how he talks. Appreciate it.
"As of yesterday evening, Zuckerberg said, "over 650 students had registered to use thefacebook. Com.
"He said he anticipated that 900 students would have joined the site by this morning."
Yeah, Divya was just reading that 650 students signed up for it on the first day.
God, if I was a drug dealer I couldn't give free drugs to 650 people in one day.
And this guy doesn't have three friends to rub together to make a fourth.
All right. Yes, that's what we'll do, Mr. Hotchkiss.
We'll put all this together and we'll e-mail it to you.
Well, you won't be able to go on the website yourself.
Because you don't have a Harvard...
You know what, it would just be easier for us to e-mail it to you.
I'm sure you're right.
He's a good guy and he's very bright and I'm sure he didn't mean to do...
...what he did.
All right, thank you very much. And, Dad...
All right, love you, too.
This is a good guy? We don't know that he's not a good guy.
We know he stole our idea.
We know he lied to our faces for a month and a half.
No, he never lied to our faces. Okay, he never saw our faces.
Fine, he lied to our e-mail accounts and he gave himself a 42-day head start, because he knows what apparently you don't, which is that getting there first is everything.
I'm a competitive racer, Div.
I don't think you need to school me in the importance of getting there first. Thank you.
That was your father's lawyer? It was his in-house counsel.
He's gonna look at all this and if he thinks it's appropriate he'll send a cease-and-desist letter.
What's that gonna do?
What, do you wanna hire an IP lawyer and sue him?
No, I wanna hire the Sopranos to beat the shit out of him with a hammer.
We don't even have to do that. That's right.
We could do that ourselves. I'm 6'5", 220, and there's two of me.
I'm with this guy. Well, whatever.
I'm saying, let's calm down until we know what we're talking about.
How much more information are you waiting for?
We met with Mark three times, we exchanged 52 e-mails, we can prove that he looked at the code.
What is that on the bottom of the page? It says "A Mark Zuckerberg production."
On the home page? On every page.
Shit, I need a second to let the classiness waft over me.
Okay, look, we don't know...
Cam, they wrote, "Zuckerberg said he hoped the privacy options
"would help restore his reputation
"following student outrage over facemash. Com."
That's exactly what we said to him. He's giving us the finger in The Crimson.
While we're waiting for Dad's lawyer to look this stuff over, we can at least get something going in the paper so people know...
What? ...that this is in dispute.
We're not starting a knife fight in The Crimson.
And we're not suing anybody.
I don't understand, I don't understand. Why not?
He's gonna say it's stupid.
What, who, me?
Say it. Why not?
Because we're gentlemen of Harvard.
This is Harvard, where you don't plant stories and you don't sue people.
You thought he was gonna be the only one who thought that was stupid?
During the time when you say you had this idea, did you know Tyler and Cameron came from a family of means?
"A family of means"?
Did you know their father was wealthy?
I'm not sure why you're asking me that.
It's not important you be sure why I'm asking.
It's not important to you. Sy.
Did you know that they came from money?
I had no idea whether they came from money or not.
In one of your e-mails to Mr. Narendra, you referenced Howard Winklevoss' consulting firm.
If you say so.
Howard Winklevoss founded a firm whose assets are in the hundreds of millions.
You also knew Tyler and Cameron were members of a Harvard final club called the Porcellian.
They pointed that out.
Excuse us for inviting you in. To the bike room.
Please. So it's safe to say you were aware that my clients had money.
Let me tell you why I'm asking.
I'm wondering why, if you needed $1,000 for an Internet venture, you didn't ask my clients for it.
They had demonstrated an interest to you in that kind of thing.
I went to my friend for the money because that's who I wanted to be partners with.
Eduardo was the president of the Harvard Investors Association, and he was also my best friend.
Your best friend is suing you for $600 million.
I didn't know that. Tell me more.
Eduardo, what happened after the initial launch?
I'm sorry, Sy, would you mind addressing him as Mr. Saverin?
Gretchen, they're best friends. Not anymore.
Well, we already went through this on the... Never mind.
Mr. Saverin, what happened after the initial launch?
Everybody on campus was using it.
"Facebook me" was a common expression after two weeks.
And Mark was the biggest thing on a campus that included 19 Nobel laureates, 15 Pulitzer Prize winners, two future Olympians, and a movie star.
Who was the movie star?
Does it matter?
...at Out of Town News and picked up that copy of Popular Electronics magazine with the MIT'S Altair kit on the cover.
It was a beautiful day and I was in my Radcliffe dorm room.
He brought that magazine up and he showed it to me and he said, "Look, it's gonna happen without us. We've gotta start now."
And I said, "Okay. Let's get BASIC out there."
Now, most of you think you know the rest of the story, but you may not.
The beginnings of this industry were very humble.
That kit computer on the cover of that magazine had an 8080 processor in it.
Unless you paid extra for a 1 K memory board, you got 256 bytes.
So the challenge when I wrote BASIC wasn't just to run at 4 k-bytes, but I also had to leave room for the users to run their programs in 4 k-bytes.
Your friend. Is that Mark Zuckerberg?
He made The Facebook. Yeah.
I mean, it's both of ours. We're...
Yeah, we... Yes.
I'm Christy Ling. This is Alice.
Well, very nice to meet you.
Facebook me when you get home.
You know, maybe we can all go out and grab a drink.
Absolutely do that.
She said, "Facebook me and we can all go for a drink later," which is stunningly great for two reasons.
One, she said "facebook me," right? And then the other is, well, you know...
They wanna have drinks later.
Yes, have you ever heard so many different good things packed into one regular-sized sentence?
Excuse me, Mark?
I'm Stuart Singer. I'm in your OS lab.
Awesome job with The Facebook. Awesome job.
I'm Bob. How you doing?
You know, I could swear he was looking at you when he said the next Bill Gates could be right in this room.
I doubt it.
And I showed up late. I don't even know who the speaker was.
It was Bill Gates.
Shit, that makes sense.
All right. Thanks, guys.
Are you a moron? Are you medically stupid?
You can't tell Bill Gates is in front of you for an hour?
I wasn't wearing my contacts.
Can I get a Glock and kill you?
It's time to monetize the thing.
What were their names?
Hear what I just said? When?
I said it's time to monetize the site.
What does that mean?
It means it's time for the website to start generating revenue.
No, I know what the word means. I'm asking how you wanna do it.
Well, we got 4,000 members.
'Cause The Facebook is cool, and if we start installing pop-ups for Mountain Dew, it's not gonna be cool.
Well, I wasn't thinking Mountain Dew, but at some point, and I'm talking as the business end of the company, the site...
We don't even know what it is yet. We don't know what it is.
We don't know what it can be. We don't know what it will be.
We know that it is cool.
That is a priceless asset I'm not giving up.
So when will it be finished? It won't be finished.
That's the point. The way fashion's never finished.
What? Fashion. Fashion is never finished.
You're talking about fashion? Really, you?
I'm talking about the idea of it and I'm saying that it's never finished.
Okay. But they manage to make money selling pants.
Mark, what is this?
It's called a cease-and-desist letter. What were their names?
Who? The girls.
When did you get this?
About 10 days ago. Right after we launched the site.
Jesus Christ. Hey, the girls. What were their names?
The Winklevoss twins are saying that you stole their idea.
I find that to be a little more than mildly annoying.
Oh, well, they find it to be intellectual property theft.
Look... Why didn't you show this to me?
It was addressed to me.
They're saying that we stole The Facebook from Divya Narendra and the Winklevosses.
I know what it says. Did we?
Did we what?
Don't screw around with me now. Look at me.
The letter says we could face legal action.
No, it says I could face legal action.
This is from a lawyer, Mark. They must feel they have some grounds.
The lawyer is their father's house counsel. Do they have grounds?
The grounds are our thing is cool and popular, and Harvard Connection is lame.
Wardo, I didn't use any of their code, I promise.
I didn't use anything.
Look, a guy who builds a nice chair doesn't owe money to everyone who ever has built a chair, okay?
They came to me with an idea, I had a better one.
Why didn't you show me this letter? I didn't think it was a big deal.
So if there's something wrong, if there's ever anything wrong, you can tell me.
I'm the guy that wants to help. This is our thing.
Now, is there anything that you need to tell me?
What are we doing about this?
I went to a 3L at Student Legal Services and he told me to write them back.
And what did you say?
"When we met in January, I expressed my doubts about the site.
"Where it stood with graphics, how much programing was left
"that I had not anticipated."
"The lack of hardware we had to deal with site use, "the lack of promotion that would go on to successfully launch the website."
This was the first time you raised any of those concerns, right?
I'd raised concerns before.
Bullshit. Not to us.
Gentlemen, I'm talking about at the meeting in January to which this letter is referring.
Let me rephrase this.
You sent my client 16 e-mails. In the first 15 you didn't raise any concerns.
Is that a question?
In the 16th e-mail you raised concerns about the site's functionality.
Were you leading them on for six weeks? No.
Then why didn't you raise any of these concerns before?
It's raining. I'm sorry?
It just started raining.
Mr. Zuckerberg, do I have your full attention?
Do you think I deserve it?
Do you think I deserve your full attention?
I had to swear an oath before we began this deposition and I don't wanna perjure myself, so I have a legal obligation to say no.
Okay. No. You don't think I deserve your attention?
I think if your clients wanna sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have a right to give it a try, but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie.
You have part of my attention. You have the minimum amount.
The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing.
Did I adequately answer your condescending question?
Well, I have 12:45. Why don't we say that's lunch?
Back at 2:30.
So what were their names?
Their names were Christy and Alice,
and they wanna have drinks tonight.
You're not supposed to be in here. This is a men's room.
Oh, my God.
I don't care.
Hey, man, sorry.
A couple girls are freshening up in there.
We have groupies.
I'll be right back.
Mark, where you going? Mark.
I saw you from over there. I didn't know you came to this club a lot.
First time. Mine, too.
Could I talk to you alone for a second?
I think I'm good right here.
I just... I'd love to talk to you alone if we could just go someplace.
Right here is fine.
I don't know if you heard about this new website I launched.
The Facebook? You called me a bitch on the Internet, Mark.
That's why I wanted to talk to you.
On the Internet. That's why I came over.
Comparing women to farm animals.
I didn't end up doing that.
It didn't stop you from writing it.
As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared.
The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink, and you published that Erica Albright was a bitch, right before you made some ignorant crack about my family's name, my bra size, and then rated women based on their hotness.
Erica, is there a problem? No, there's no problem.
You write your snide bullshit from a dark room because that's what the angry do nowadays.
I was nice to you. Don't torture me for it.
If we could just go somewhere for a minute...
I don't wanna be rude to my friends.
Good luck with your video game.
Hey, that was great. That was the right thing to do.
You apologized, right?
We have to expand.
Is he mad about something?
Okay, we are expanding to Yale and Columbia.
Dustin, I want you to share the coding work with me.
Chris, you're gonna be in charge of publicity and outreach, and you could start by getting a story in the BU student newspaper.
It's The Bridge.
They hate doing stories about Harvard.
Somebody at the newspaper will be a computer science major.
Tell them that Mark Zuckerberg will do 10 hours of free programing.
Why do you want a story in the BU newspaper?
Because I do. Now here's the arrangement.
Eduardo is CFO and owns 30% of the company.
Dustin is vice president and head of programing, and his 5% of the company will come from my end.
Chris is director of publicity, and his compensation will depend on how much work he ends up doing.
Who are the girls? Sorry. They're Christy and Alice.
Is there anything we can do?
No, that's it.
Yale and Columbia, let's go. And Stanford.
It's time for them to see this in Palo Alto.
You don't want any lunch?
You're welcome to some salad.
No, thank you.
This must be hard.
Who are you?
I'm Marylin Delpy. I introduced myself when we first...
I mean, what do you do?
I'm a second-year associate at the firm.
My boss wanted me to sit in on the deposition phase.
What are you doing?
Checking in to see how it's going in Bosnia.
They don't have roads, but they have Facebook.
You must really hate the Winklevosses.
I don't hate anybody.
The Winklevi aren't suing me for intellectual property theft.
They are suing me because for the first time in their lives, things didn't work out the way they were supposed to for them.
He's expanding to Yale, Columbia and Stanford.
It's gonna be in The Crimson tomorrow.
Well, looks like that cease-and-desist letter really scared the shit out of him, huh?
I wanna hire a lawyer to file for injunctive relief and get the site taken down now.
Every minute the site is up, Harvard Connection becomes less valuable.
I want an injunction. I want damages. I want punitive relief.
And I want him dead.
Yeah, I want those things, too.
Then why aren't we doing anything about it?
Because we're gentlemen of Harvard?
No, it's because you're not thinking how it's gonna look.
How's it gonna look?
Like my brother and I are in skeleton costumes chasing the Karate Kid around a high school gym.
Cam, he's violated Massachusetts state law.
When he goes to Connecticut, New York and California, he'll have violated federal law.
And, by the way, he's in violation of Harvard law.
There's no such thing as Harvard law.
Wait. Yeah, there is.
Harvard Student Handbook.
Every freshman is issued one of these, and somewhere in this book it says...
You can't steal from another student.
This is what we needed. We're going to Summers.
Well, you can't get a meeting with Larry Summers.
My brother and I, we pay tuition at this school.
We carry a 3.9 GPA at this school. We've won trophies for this school.
And we'll be rowing in the Olympics for this school.
I want a meeting with the goddamn president of this school.
Why do you think?
I'm late for biochem.
You don't know my name, do you?
Is it Stanford?
I should just kick your ass.
How do you go to a party and you meet someone...
Amelia Ritter, but you prefer Amy. You're from Orinda.
Your father's in commercial real estate and your mother's 10 years sober.
What's my major?
I remember something about a trombone.
Your major's French.
And yours? Mine?
I don't have one. You haven't declared?
I don't go to school.
You're kidding. No.
Well, where did you go to school?
William Taft Elementary, for a little while.
You're not like 15 years old or anything, are you?
Wait, you're not like 15, are you?
So, what do you do?
I'm an entrepreneur.
You're unemployed. I wouldn't say that.
What would you say?
That I'm an entrepreneur.
Well, then, what was your latest preneur?
Well, I founded an Internet company that let folks download and share music for free.
Kind of like Napster?
Exactly like Napster.
What do you mean?
I founded Napster.
Sean Parker founded Napster.
Nice to meet you.
You're Sean Parker?
You see, the shoe's on the other...
Foot? Table, which has turned.
I just slept with Sean Parker?
You just slept on Sean Parker.
You're a zillionaire. Not technically.
What are you?
Broke. There's not a lot of money in free music, even less when you're being sued by everyone who's ever been to the Grammys.
This is blowing my mind.
I appreciate that.
I gotta hop in the shower and get ready for class.
Biochem, even though you're a French major whose name is Amy.
I'm a hard worker.
There's juice or anything else you can find. Help yourself.
You mind if I check my e-mail?
Yeah, go ahead.
Amy! Can you come out here? Yeah?
Just a second.
There's a snake in here, Amy.
There isn't a snake, but I need to ask you something.
Are you kidding me? I could've been killed.
By running too fast and getting twisted in the curtain.
What do you need to ask me?
Yeah, I went to check my e-mail and there's a website open on your computer.
Yeah, after you passed out last night I went on The Facebook for a little bit.
What's that? The Facebook?
Stanford's had it for, like, two weeks now.
It's really awesome, except it's freakishly addictive.
Seriously, I'm on the thing like five times a day.
Mind if I send myself an e-mail?
Yeah, is everything okay?
I just need to find you, Mark Zuckerberg.
I've never been in this building before.
This building's 100 years older than the country it's in, so do be careful.
We're sitting in chairs.
Very good. You can go in now.
That's their own stupidity. I should've been there.
Well, darkness is the absence of light, and the stupidity in that instance was the absence of me.
Catherine, I've got students in my office now.
I don't know.
From the looks of it, they want to sell me a Brooks Brothers franchise.
All right, bye-bye.
Good morning. Good morning, sir.
I'm Cameron Winklevoss and this is my brother, Tyler.
And you're here because...
Either of you can answer.
I'm sorry, sir, I thought you were reading the letter.
I've read the letter.
Well, we came up with an idea for a website called Harvard Connection...
We've since changed the name to ConnectU. And Mark Zuckerberg stole that idea...
And I'm asking what you want me to do about it.
Well, sir, in the Harvard Student Handbook, which is distributed to each freshman, under the heading "Standards of Conduct in the Harvard Community," it says the college expects all students to be honest and forthcoming in their dealings with members in this community.
Students are required to respect public and private ownership, and instances of theft, misappropriation or...
Anne? Yes, sir?
Punch me in the face. Go ahead.
...or unauthorized use will result in disciplinary action, including the requirement to withdraw from the college.
And you memorized that instead of doing what?
What my brother and I came here today to ask of you, respectfully, of course...
Sir, it's against university rules to steal from another student, plain and simple.
And you've spoken to your House Master?
Yes, sir. And the House Master made a recommendation to the Ad Board, but the Ad Board won't see us.
Have you tried dealing with the other student directly?
Mr. Zuckerberg hasn't been responding to any of our e-mails or phone calls for the last two weeks.
He doesn't answer when we knock on his door at Kirkland, and the closest I've come to dealing with him face-to-face is when I saw him on the quad and chased him through Harvard Square.
You chased him?
I saw him and I know he saw me. I went after him and then he disappeared.
I don't see this as a university issue. Of course this is a university issue.
There's a code of ethics and an honor code and he violated them both.
You enter into a code of ethics with the university, not with each other.
I'm sorry, President Summers, but what you just said makes no sense to me at all.
I'm devastated by that.
What my brother means is, if Mark Zuckerberg walked into our dorm room and stole our computer, that would be a university issue.
I really don't know. This office doesn't handle petty larceny.
This isn't petty larceny.
This idea is potentially worth millions of dollars.
You might just be letting your imaginations run away with you.
Sir, I honestly don't think you're in any position to make that call.
I was the US Treasury Secretary. I'm in some position to make that call.
Letting our imaginations run away with us is exactly what we were told to do in your freshman address.
Well, then I would suggest that you let your imaginations run away with you on a new project.
Yes. Everyone at Harvard's inventing something.
Harvard undergraduates believe that inventing a job is better than finding a job.
So I'll suggest again that the two of you come up with a new new project.
I'm sorry, sir, but that's not the point. Please, arrive at the point.
You don't have to be an intellectual property expert to understand the difference between right and wrong.
And you're saying that I don't?
Of course I'm not saying that, sir. I'm saying that.
Anne, how did they get this appointment?
Colleagues of their father.
Let me tell you something, Mr. Winklevoss, Mr. Winklevoss, since you're on the subject of right and wrong.
This action, this meeting, the two of you being here is wrong.
It's not worthy of Harvard. It's not what Harvard saw in you.
You don't get special treatment.
We never asked... Just start another project?
Like we're making a diorama for a science fair?
If you have a problem with that, Mr. Winklevoss...
We never asked for special treatment.
...the courts are always at your disposal. Is there anything else I can do for you?
You can take the Harvard Student Handbook and shove it...
Thank you very much for your time, sir.
Broke your 335-year-old doorknob.
Eduardo, spring break, you and Mr. Zuckerberg took a trip to New York.
Yes. What was the purpose of the trip?
Well, as CFO, I had set up some meetings with potential advertisers.
Who paid for the trip?
It was paid for out of the $1,000 account I had set up a few months earlier.
At this point, your $1,000 was the only money that had been put into the company?
Yes. How did you feel the meetings went?
They went terribly. Why?
Mark was asleep.
I was not asleep.
Can I rephrase my answer?
I wish he'd been asleep.
So we're in 29 schools now, with over 75,000 members.
People who go on The Facebook tend to stay on longer than almost any other website.
Now, here's the most impressive statistic.
91% of people who try it once will come back.
Now, if you'll allow me... Excuse me one second.
What sound is he making? Is that like a tsk?
It wasn't a tsk.
Like a glottal stop.
Almost a gag reflex.
Guys, what is this?
There was one more meeting scheduled for the New York trip.
Yes, it was a dinner.
It was set up through my girlfriend at the time.
Would you say that Mark was excited about this meeting?
Look, they're not gonna card us. They might.
I mean, look around. It'll be embarrassing.
Tell him they're not gonna card us. They're not gonna card us.
Mark... Are you gonna talk about ads again?
Unless you're the ballet theater of Hartford, the purpose of a business is to make a profit.
It isn't a business yet.
That's tough for me, 'cause my... Never mind.
He's 25 minutes late.
He founded Napster when he was 19. He can be late.
He's not a god. Then what is he?
He's 25 minutes late.
I think Wardo's jealous.
I honestly wasn't jealous. I was nervous.
Well, I didn't know him at all, but I had done a search and I'd asked around.
And he struck me as kind of a...
A wild card.
He crashed out of two pretty big Internet companies in spectacular fashion, he's had a reputation with drugs...
He also founded the companies.
We don't need him.
No, no, take your time.
And he does own a watch. Stop it.
I'm Sean Parker. How do you do?
You must be Eduardo. And Christy. And Mark.
Great to meet you. Great to meet you.
You guys don't have anything in front of you.
We were waiting.
Hey, baby boy. Can you bring out some things?
The lacquered pork with that ginger confit. Tuna tartare?
And the lobster claws, that'll get us started.
Christy, what do you like to drink?
Great. Four of those.
From that point on, it was a Seanathon.
The question was, "What did you talk about?"
He took us through his episode with Napster.
I didn't wanna spend my 20s as a professional defendant.
Who knew? The music industry doesn't have a sense of humor.
We tried to sell the company to pay the 35 million they said we owed in royalties, but I guess to them that was a little like selling a stolen car to pay for the stolen gas.
So we said screw it, declared bankruptcy.
But you made a name for yourself. And you are dry.
Tori! No, no, I'm good.
And then he went on to his second business venture, which was an online Rolodex that he got thrown out of by Case Equity.
And I wanted to do it nice this time.
I put on a tie and I shined my shoes, but nobody wants to take orders from a kid.
So let me tell you what happens to a 20-year-old at the top of a hot dot-com.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but... I'm glad we've got that on the record.
You're not a psychiatrist, but what?
A psychiatrist would say that he was paranoid.
They'll hire private detectives who'll follow you day and night.
You're a target for high-priced escorts.
I can't prove it, but I know they tap my phones.
Whatever it is that's gonna trip you up, you've done already.
Private behavior is a relic of a time gone by.
And if somehow, someway, you've managed to live your life like the Dalai Lama, they'll make shit up.
Because they don't want you, they want your idea.
And they want you to say "thank you" while you...
...wipe your chin and walk away.
That's what happened to you?
Yes. But there'll be payback at Case.
I brought down the record companies with Napster and Case'll suffer for their sins, too.
Sorry, you didn't bring down the record companies.
In court. Yeah.
You wanna buy a Tower Records, Eduardo?
And he told story after story about life in Silicon Valley, and parties at Stanford and down in LA, and friends who'd become millionaires...
But mostly how Mark had to... He had to come to California.
And then he got around to The Facebook.
So, tell me about your progress.
Well, we're in 29 schools now. We got over 75,000 members.
Tell me about the strategy you're using. Okay.
For instance, we wanted Baylor, in Texas, but Baylor already had a social network on campus.
So instead of going right after them, we made a list of every school within 100 miles...
You put The Facebook on those campuses first.
Pretty soon all the Baylor kids saw their friends on our site and we were in.
It's called the Little Bighorn. That's smart, Mark.
Thanks, that was mine. Easy.
Hey, you know what? Settle an argument for us.
I say it's time to start making money from The Facebook, but Mark doesn't want advertising. Who's right?
Neither of you yet.
The Facebook is cool, that's what it's got going for it.
You don't wanna ruin it with ads because ads aren't cool.
It's like you're throwing the greatest party on campus and someone's saying it's gotta be over by 11:00.
That's exactly right.
You don't even know what the thing is yet. Exactly.
How big it can get, how far it can go. This is no time to take your chips down.
A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool?
"A billion dollars."
And that shut everybody up.
And that's where you're headed. A billion-dollar valuation.
Unless you take bad advice, in which case you may as well have come up with a chain of very successful yogurt shops.
When you go fishing, you can catch a lot of fish or you can catch a big fish.
You ever walk into a guy's den and see a picture of him standing next to 14 trout?
No, he's holding a 3,000-pound marlin. Yep.
That's a good analogy. Okay.
But we all know marlins don't really weigh 3,000 pounds, right?
Have you seen the big ones up close?
No, but I don't think the guy's holding a marlin the size of a Range Rover.
That would be a really big fish and a very strong guy.
You think we might be getting away from the point?
I don't have a dog in this fight. I'm just a fan who came to say hi.
He owned Mark after that dinner.
He picked up the check, he told Mark they'd talk again soon, and he was gone.
But not before he made his biggest contribution to the company.
Drop the "The." Just "Facebook."
That's gotta be some kind of land speed record for talking.
You wanna end the party at 11:00.
I'm trying to pay for the party. There won't be a party unless it's cool.
So, what do you think?
Yeah, sure, let's drop the "The."
I meant to catching the marlin instead of the 14 trout.
Doesn't that sound good?
If you're a trout.
I'm going to enter this into the record.
Incorporation papers for Facebook, an LLC registered in Florida.
Why Florida? It's where my family lives.
And ask the respondent to stipulate that the articles of incorporation state the ownership as follows: 65% for Mark Zuckerberg, 30% for Eduardo Saverin and 5% for Dustin Moskovitz.
Yeah, we stipulate.
And that was April 13th, 2004. You can mark it.
You have anything here?
Yes. Thank you.
Mr. Saverin, have you ever done anything that might be considered legitimate grounds for termination?
You never did anything to embarrass the company or even seriously jeopardize it?
You were accused of animal cruelty.
Wait. You weren't?
This is not happening.
I have here an article from The Crimson...
I can't have this, Wardo.
Come on, man. This is bullshit. This is another club playing a prank.
I'd gotten into the Phoenix.
I'd been accepted, and as part of my initiation I had to, for one week, carry with me at all times and take care of a chicken.
They identify you as one of the founders of Facebook.
"Junior Eduardo Saverin..."
I'm not the expert, but being connected to torturing animals is probably bad for business.
I did not torture the chicken. I don't torture chickens. Are you crazy?
No, and settle down, please. I have here an article from The Crimson...
This is scathing. 956.
I was having dinner in the Kirkland dining hall with Mark, and I had the chicken with me, because I had to have the chicken with me at all times.
This was college.
Somebody's gonna have to answer for this. 969.
And the dining hall was serving chicken for dinner, and I had to feed my chicken, so I...
Well, I took little pieces of chicken and I gave it to the chicken.
Someone must have seen me, because the next thing I knew I was being accused of forced cannibalism.
I didn't know you couldn't do that.
I dealt with the various animal rights groups, I dealt with the associate dean of the college.
This was all resolved.
Someone from the Porc or the Fly must have reported it.
For all I know, it was the Winklevosses.
All right, let's just forget about it.
This is absurd. I'm being accused of animal cruelty.
It's better to be accused of necrophilia.
It is better to be accused of necrophilia.
Now I have to explain this to my father. I'm gonna have to explain this to everybody.
What is happening on that?
I have my final coming up for Postwar and Contemporary Art and I haven't been to class.
I'm supposed to write about these four paintings.
That's a Facebook page?
Yeah. I opened it under an alias.
I posted the paintings and asked people to comment.
Every once in a while, I hop on and stir the pot to get a good debate going.
Mr. Zuckerberg was cheating on his final exam?
I'd rather not answer that, Gretchen. And why not?
Because I'm not suing him for cheating on his final exam.
That's not what friends do. Well, you just told us he was cheating.
You told your lawyers I was torturing animals?
No, he didn't tell us about it at all.
Our litigators are capable of finding a Crimson article.
In fact, when we raised the subject with him, he defended you.
993. We are so close.
Yeah, that reminds me, we're gonna need more money, Wardo.
Yeah, no, I agree. More servers, more help.
I'm interviewing two interns to come to Palo Alto and we're gonna have to pay them something.
Sorry, what? I already found a house for rent on a street two blocks from the Stanford campus.
It is perfect and it's got a pool.
When did you decide to go to California for the summer?
You mean when did I actually decide?
Was it somewhere in the middle of the Sean Parker Variety Hour?
He was right, California's the place we've gotta be.
What, you're Jed Clampett?
I didn't know you guys got The Beverly Hillbillies in Brazil.
Yeah, got the show in Brazil, it was genius.
What is your problem with Sean? He doesn't bring anything to the table.
He doesn't have money. Dustin's a better programmer.
He's got connections to VCs. We don't need VCs, we need advertisers.
And I have connections to VCs. No real players.
And as somebody who's just really embarrassed the company in a bad way...
It was the Winklevosses, Mark. Hang on.
150,000 members, Wardo.
Congratulations, dude. Congratulations.
You don't think it was strange that he was followed by private detectives?
Who came up with nothing.
Enough to get him out of the company. The drugs, the girls.
We don't know that any of that's true. You can read about it.
I can read about you torturing birds. Since when...
Okay, don't fish eat other fish? The marlins and the trout?
What's he talking about?
I'm interviewing interns at 10:00 tomorrow night in the CS lab.
Get on board with this, man.
You know, I don't really know what else to say.
You can do one more! One more!
What's going on?
They have 10 minutes to get root access to a Python web server, expose its SSL encryption, and then intercept all traffic over its secure port.
Yes, all behind a Pix Firewall Emulator. But here's the beauty.
You know I didn't understand anything you just said, right?
I do know that. So what's the beauty?
Every tenth line of code written, they have to drink a shot.
Hacking's supposed to be stealth, so every time the server detects an intrusion, the candidate responsible has to drink a shot.
I also have a program running that has a pop-up window appear simultaneously on all five computers.
The last candidate to hit the window has to drink a shot.
Plus, every three minutes they all have to drink a shot.
Three minutes! Drink one now!
Hey, can I ask, what part of the intern's job will they need to be able to do drunk?
A more relevant test might be seeing if they can keep a chicken alive for a week.
That was mean. Here.
What is this?
I opened a new account and put $18,000 in it.
Will that get you through the summer?
Welcome to Facebook.
In addition to the $1,000 you'd already put up.
Yes. A total of $19,000 now.
Yes. Hang on.
I'm just checking your math on that.
Yes, I got the same thing.
May I continue?
After expressing misgivings about Mr. Zuckerberg taking the company and moving it to California for the summer, why did you put $18,000 in an account for his use?
I figured we were partners. I wanted to be a team player.
I figured Mark, Dustin and the new interns could work on the site while I was generating advertiser interest in New York.
But mostly I figured, how much could possibly go wrong in three months?
Go, go, go, go, go.
I didn't die. I know.
I made it. You did.
That was like an 8. That was like a 2.
It was better than that. Yeah.
You sure? Yeah.
That's the doorbell.
I didn't know we had a doorbell.
Andrew, get the door! No, he's wired in.
That's gonna cut into your security deposit.
Andrew. Not now.
Do you live here? Yeah.
We were right across the street. We saw the chimney...
Is anybody hurt? No. You live across the street?
This is my... Sharon. She lives across the street.
I was helping her move out, we saw the chimney...
We had a zip line to the pool.
You came to California.
You made the right choice.
Here you go.
I'm so sorry.
No problem. I didn't know you were gonna...
Here you go. No, no, no. Wait!
This house and this team are great. It's exactly what it should be.
I'm Sean Parker.
Oh, he's wired in.
That's what I'm talking about.
He got an internship in New York.
Eduardo didn't come out?
I was crashing there for a little bit while I'm taking care of some things, but she's done for the summer so she's back at her parents' place.
The homeless rock star of Palo Alto. All right.
What's your plan for the summer?
I'm sorry. I was looking at the architecture.
I asked what your plan for the...
A hundred schools by the end of the summer.
We're gonna go to the restroom. Okay.
Yeah, I'll go with you.
Your date looks so familiar to me.
She looks familiar to a lot of people.
What do you mean?
A Stanford MBA named Roy Raymond wants to buy his wife some lingerie, but he's too embarrassed to shop for it in a department store.
He comes up with an idea for a high-end place that doesn't make you feel like a pervert.
He gets a $40,000 bank loan, borrows another 40,000 from his in-laws, opens a store and calls it Victoria's Secret.
Makes a half million dollars his first year.
Starts a catalog, opens three more stores, and after five years, he sells the company to Leslie Wexner and The Limited for $4 million.
Happy ending, right?
Except two years later, the company's worth $500 million, and Roy Raymond jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge.
Poor guy just wanted to buy his wife a pair of thigh-highs, you know?
Was that a parable?
My date's a Victoria's Secret model. That's why she looks familiar to you.
God. Don't be impressed by all this.
I read your blog.
You know, no, that was for web cretins.
You know why I started Napster?
The girl I loved in high school was with the co-captain of the varsity lacrosse team, and I wanted to take her from him.
So I decided to come up with the next big thing.
I didn't know that. Napster wasn't a failure.
I changed the music industry for better and for always.
It may not have been good business, but it pissed a lot of people off.
And isn't that what your Facemash was about?
They're scared of me, pal, and they're gonna be scared of you.
What the VCs want is to say, "Good idea, kid, the grown-ups will take it from here."
But not this time. This is our time.
This time, you're gonna hand them a business card that says, "I'm CEO, bitch."
That's what I want for you.
So where the hell is Eduardo?
He's in New York. Sucking up to ad execs.
He's got an... An internship.
The company's here. A billion-dollar company's here.
Do you live and breathe Facebook? Yes.
I know you do.
Wardo wants to be a businessman and for all I know he's gonna be a good one, but he shouldn't be in New York kissing Madison Avenue's ass.
This is a once-in-a-generation, "holy shit" idea.
And the water under the Golden Gate is freezing cold.
Look at my face and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.
Do you ever think about that girl?
The girl from high school with the lacrosse thing.
If you guys are gonna talk about bandwidth, we need shots.
A hundred schools by the end of the summer?
Tell you what. Gesture of good faith.
While you're getting into 100 schools, I'll put you on two continents.
If you don't have a place to crash, I think you should definitely come and live with us.
Let's line up some shots.
Excuse me! Yes, sir.
You can take this away and bring back the 1942.
Absolutely, Mr. Parker.
At the barrier, Hollandia is leading Harvard University by one length.
Approaching the grandstands, Hollandia maintains a lead of three-quarters of a length.
Mr. Winklevoss. Tyler.
Tremendous race. Thank you.
And this is my brother, Cameron. Excellent.
His Royal Highness Prince Albert.
Your Highness, this is Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss.
Of course. Brilliant race. I've never seen a race that close.
Yes, Your Highness.
My grandfather, Jack Kelly, was one of the premier rowers of his day.
I've been coming to Henley for 30 years and I'd never seen a race that close.
Have you? Have you seen a race that close?
No, Your Highness.
Mile-and-a-half races are more commonly won by a boat length or two.
Yes, that's absolutely right. Brutally close.
May I introduce my teammates?
I'm sorry. You'll have to excuse us.
On to the Dutch.
Sorry you flew all the way out here to see that.
Wouldn't have missed it, brother. How was the royalty?
I just wanted him to tell me a couple more times how close the race was.
Just brutal, brutally close. Brutally excruciating. Jesus.
The guy is the prince of a country the size of Nantucket.
Relax, it's fine.
Boys. Divya. Dad.
Mr. Winklevoss. That was a tough beat.
I'm sorry that you and Mom had to fly out here to see that.
No, don't ever apologize to me for losing a race like that.
Don't ever apologize to anyone for losing a race like that.
Boys. Mr. Kenwright.
Dad, this is Mr. Kenwright, head of the host family for this week.
Pleasure to meet you. Good to meet you.
I've just had a phone chat with my daughter.
She told me that she and her friends are already talking about the race, which they've just seen via their computers.
A new website called Facebook. Do you have this in America?
I'm gonna find your mother.
Have I said something wrong?
Your daughter doesn't go to school in the States?
No, no. Cambridge.
Majoring in French literature, though I wasn't aware there was such a thing.
And they have Facebook at Cambridge?
And apparently Oxford and the London School of Economics.
That's where her friends are.
Good race, boys. Take the bitter with the better, eh?
I'm gonna go watch the race film.
If this is online, I wanna see it.
Stop it, Cam.
Knock it off.
I don't mind that we lost to the Dutch today by less than a second.
That was a good race, and that was a fair race.
And they'll see us again.
What I mind, and what you should mind, is showing up on Monday for a race that was run on Sunday.
We tried talking to him ourselves, we tried writing a letter, we tried the Ad Board, and we tried talking to the president of the university.
Now, I am asking you for the last time, let's take the considerable resources at our disposal and sue him in federal court.
I need a real drink.
Let's gut the frigging nerd.
That's what I'm talking about!
No, no, no, no, no.
But check it out, I saw him today.
Manningham, Mitchell Manningham, my Case Equity guy.
Are you guys using Spikes or Ghost Missiles?
We don't know, we're just shooting at each other.
Use Sweet Kamikazes.
Like we know what that is.
I saw him getting into his Turbo Carrera and he saw me, too.
I know he did.
Don't. Don't sweat it. I'm on a landline.
Does anybody hear that banging?
You don't hear anything. You're writing code.
Dude, somebody's at the door.
It's not a dish best served cold. It's best served immediately and relentlessly.
I'm gonna call you back.
Mark was supposed to pick me up at the airport an hour ago.
I've been calling his cell.
He was on a 36-hour coding tear, so he took a nap for a couple of hours.
What happened here?
Not happened. Happening. The next big thing.
Back to work. Okay.
The more bad I get at this, the more wasted I get.
I mean the more wasted that I get...
How old are they, Sean?
It's not polite to ask.
Sean, how old are they?
You think you know me, right?
I've read enough.
You know how much I've read about you?
Wardo. Hey, man.
I waited an hour for you at the airport. What time is it?
It's midnight. Or 3:00 a.m. In New York, where I just came from.
You gotta see some of the new stuff we got. Hey, Dustin. Show him the Wall.
I'm just calling it the Wall.
Forget the Wall, tell him about the meeting I've got set up.
You know Peter Thiel?
Nope. No reason you should.
He just runs a $2-billion hedge fund called Clarium Capital.
Why's he setting up meetings?
Thiel might wanna make an angel investment.
I don't care if he's an actual angel. Why is he setting up business meetings?
You've had a long flight. No, I had a long wait on the tarmac at JFK, then a long wait at the passenger loading and unloading zone at SFO, and in between there was a long flight.
I'm the business end of this company.
And he is a houseguest living here rent free on a very generous grant from the Eduardo Saverin Foundation.
I heard about your big-ticket ad buys. Gary's Tuxedos.
Hey, man... Harvard Bartending Course.
You're just a small step away from bagging Snookies Cookies, I can feel it.
You wanna talk to me alone for a minute? Sure.
I'm so high. No, you're not.
So how's it going?
How's the internship? How's Christy?
How's the internship? Yeah.
Mark, Jesus, I quit the internship.
We talked about this on the phone. I quit on my first day.
I do remember you saying that.
So how is Christy?
Is that fun? No.
I mean, she's actually psychotic.
She's insanely jealous, she's irrational, and I'm frightened of her.
Still, it's nice you have a girlfriend.
I do not want that guy representing himself as part of this company.
You gotta move out here, Wardo, this is where it's all happening.
Did you hear what I just said? The connections, the energy...
Mark, you got...
I'm afraid if you don't come out here, you're gonna get left behind.
I want... I need you out here.
Please don't tell him I said that. What did you just say?
It's moving faster than any of us ever imagined it would.
It's moving fast. What did you mean?
And Sean thinks we have... Sean is not part of this company.
We have over 300,000 members, Wardo, and we're in 160 schools, including five in Europe.
I'm aware of that! Mark, I am the CFO!
We need more servers than I ever expected we'd need.
We need more programmers and we need more money, and he set up the Thiel meeting. He set up meetings all over town.
He set up other meetings? Yes.
Without me knowing anything about it. You're in New York.
I'm in New York riding subways 14 hours a day, trying to find advertisers!
And how's it going so far?
What did you mean, "get left behind"?
Hi. Can I help you?
I'd like to freeze this bank account and cancel all existing checks and lines of credit.
May I see some ID, please? Yeah, sure, sorry.
Sean, he'll be right with you.
You know this is where they filmed Towering Inferno?
Hey, guys. Come on back.
She offer you some waters? Oh, yeah. We're cool.
Sean, how are you? Come on in.
You must be Mark. Hi.
We took a look at everything, and congratulations.
We're gonna start you off with a $500,000 investment.
Maurice is gonna talk to you about some corporate restructuring.
We'll file as a corporation in Delaware and come up with a stock structure that allows for new investors.
Now, let me ask you something.
Who's Eduardo Saverin?
When did you get back?
You scared me. I need you to knock.
When did you get back?
I got back this afternoon.
And when were you gonna call me?
Chris, it was kind of a rough trip and I was tired...
Yeah, or answer one of my 47 texts. Did you know I sent 47 texts?
I did, and I thought that was incredibly normal behavior.
Are you mocking me?
I brought you a present.
Why does your Status say "single" on your Facebook page?
Why does your Relationship Status say "single" on your Facebook page?
Well, I was single when I set up the page.
And you just never bothered to change it?
I don't know how.
Do I look stupid to you?
No, calm down.
You're asking me to believe that the CFO of Facebook doesn't know how to change his Relationship Status on Facebook?
It's embarrassing, so you should take it as a sign of trust that I would tell you that.
Go to hell. Take it easy.
No, you didn't change it so you could screw those Silicon Valley sluts every time you go out to see Mark.
Not even remotely true, and I can promise you that the Silicon Valley sluts don't care what anyone's Relationship Status is on Facebook.
Please, open your present.
Your phone does work.
Okay, this is gonna be tricky.
Open your present. It's a silk scarf.
Have you ever seen me wear a scarf?
This'll be your first.
You froze our account? I did.
You froze the account. I had to get your attention, Mark.
Do you realize that you jeopardized the entire company?
Do you realize that your actions could have destroyed everything I've been working on?
We have been working on.
Without money, the site can't function.
Let me tell you the difference between Facebook and everybody else.
We don't crash ever!
If the servers are down for even a day, our entire reputation is irreversibly destroyed.
Look... Users are fickle. Friendster has proved that.
Even a few people leaving would reverberate through the entire user base.
The users are interconnected. That is the whole point.
College kids are online because their friends are online and if one domino goes, the other dominos go.
Don't you get that?
I am not going back to the Caribbean Night at A-E-Pi!
What is wrong with you?
Did you like being nobody?
Did you like being a joke? Do you wanna go back to that?
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
That was the act of a child, not a businessman, and it certainly was not the act of a friend.
You know how embarrassing it was for me to try to cash a check today?
I am not going back to that life.
Maybe you were frustrated. Yeah!
Maybe you were angry. I was!
But I am willing to let bygones be bygones, because, Wardo, I've got some good news.
I was angry, and maybe it was childish, but I had to get your attention.
Wardo, I said I've got some good news.
What is it?
Peter Thiel just made an angel investment of half a million dollars.
Half a million dollars. And he's setting us up in an office.
They wanna reincorporate the company. They wanna meet you.
They need your signature on some documents, so you gotta get your ass on the first flight back to San Francisco.
I need my CFO.
I'm on my way.
We did it.
You're going back there already?
And also, I'm breaking up with you.
Somebody stop her!
The first two are common stock purchase agreements, allowing you to buy stock in the newly reincorporated Facebook, as opposed to the old shares, which are now worthless.
The third is an exchange agreement allowing you to exchange the old shares for new shares, and then finally a voter holding agreement.
How many shares of stock will I own?
That represents a 34.4% ownership share.
Why the increase from the original 30%?
'Cause you may need to dilute it to award shares to new investors.
I love working with business majors. I'm telling you.
You should know that Mark has already taken his percentage from 60 down to 51.
Well, Mark doesn't care about money and he needs to be protected.
Dustin Moskovitz owns 6.81%.
Sean Parker, 6.47%.
I can live with that.
And Peter Thiel, 7%.
Would you like to use my pen?
Can you please repeat the question?
No, it was an outrageously leading question the first time around, and now you want us to hear it twice?
Yes. Would you read it back, please?
Well, go ahead.
"Counsel: 'And when you signed these documents, "'were you aware that you were signing your own death certificate?"'
It was insanely stupid of me not to have my own lawyers look over all the...
In all honesty, I thought they were my lawyers.
I was your only friend.
You had one friend.
My father won't even look at me.
Okay, Eduardo, did Mr. Zuckerberg say anything to you after you signed the papers?
There was a lot of handshaking, a lot of congratulations.
He'd already told me that he wouldn't be coming back to school for at least a semester, so we were saying goodbye for a while.
And then before I left he said...
But you gotta come back.
Somewhere around the end of November or early December.
Peter wants to throw us an amazing party when we hit a million members.
It's gonna be out of control. You gotta come back for it.
A million members?
Remember the algorithm on the window at Kirkland?
Yeah, I'll be here.
You sure about this?
You're 20 minutes late.
You're gonna walk in there and say you overslept and didn't have time to get dressed.
They're gonna pitch you. Case Equity is going to pitch you.
They're gonna beg you to take their money.
You're gonna nod, you're gonna nod, you're gonna nod, and then you're gonna say, "Which one of you is Roth?"
No, not Roth. Manningham.
"Which one of you is Mitchell Manningham?" And he'll say, "I am."
And then you say, "Sean Parker says, 'Fuck you."'
In late November, I got the e-mail from Mark telling me to come out for the millionth-member party.
What else did the e-mail say?
It said that we had to have a business meeting.
That Mark and Sean had played some kind of revenge stunt on Case Equity, and that Manningham was so impressed that he was now making an investment offer that was hard to turn down.
So I went to California, and I went straight to the new offices.
I didn't know whether to dress for the party or for the business meeting, so I kind of dressed for both.
But it didn't matter. Why not?
Because I wasn't called out there for either one.
What were you called out there for?
Mr. Saverin. Hey. Right over here.
How are you? Good. How are you?
Good, good, good, good, good. Good to see you.
At first I thought he was joking. Giving me more contracts to sign.
But then I started reading.
Wait, what is this?
Well, as you know, we had some new investors that have come in.
What is this?
Mark? He's wired in.
Sorry? He's wired in.
Is he? Yes.
How about now? Are you still wired in? Call security.
You issued 24 million new shares of stock!
You were told that if new investors came along...
How much were your shares diluted? How much were his?
What was Mr. Zuckerberg's ownership share diluted down to?
What was Mr. Moskovitz's ownership share diluted down to?
What was Sean Parker's ownership share diluted down to?
What was Peter Thiel's ownership share diluted down to?
And what was your ownership share diluted down to?
You signed the papers. You set me up.
You're gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company, and you made a bad business deal with your own company?
It's gonna be like I'm not a part of Facebook.
It won't be like you're not a part of Facebook.
You're not a part of Facebook.
My name's on the masthead. You might wanna check again.
This because I froze the account?
You think we'd let you parade around in your ridiculous suits, pretending you were running this company?
Sorry, my Prada's at the cleaner's!
Along with my hoodie and my fuck-you flip-flops, you pretentious douchebag!
Security's here. You'll be leaving now.
I'm not signing those papers. We will get the signature.
Tell me this isn't about me getting into the Phoenix.
You... You did it. I knew you did it. You planted that story about the chicken!
I didn't plant that story. What's he talking about?
You had me accused of animal cruelty. Seriously. What the hell's the chicken?
And I'll bet what you hated the most is that they identified me as a co-founder of Facebook.
Which I am. You better lawyer up, asshole.
'Cause I'm not coming back for 30%. I'm coming back for everything.
Get him out of here. It's okay, I'm going.
Here's your $19,000. I wouldn't cash it, though.
I drew it on the account you froze.
I like standing next to you, Sean.
It makes me look so tough.
That's it, that's our show for tonight, people.
And look, I wanna see everyone here geared up for a party.
We're gonna walk into that club like it's the Macy's Parade.
Mackey, put it up on the big screen. We've gotta almost be there.
You all right? Yeah.
You were kind of rough on him.
That's life in the NFL.
You know you didn't have to be that rough on him.
Listen, I put him... Sean!
You didn't have to be that rough on him.
He almost killed it.
I'll send flowers.
Speaking of flowers, I'm putting together a party after the party at Kappa Eta Sigma.
Ashleigh's a sister.
Ashleigh? The intern.
Yeah. I know who she is. Are you guys...
Ashleigh? Me? No.
Well, a little bit.
No. Nothing, I just... Excuse me. Mark?
We were just talking about you. Just that you're doing a really good job.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
These came in for you.
Put them on my desk.
What's the package?
Mackey. Yes, sir.
And you're not a hugger.
Who's got champagne? Huh?
I've got champagne.
The next transformative development, a picture-sharing application.
A place where you view pictures that coincide with your social life.
It is the true digitalization of real life.
You can use a CD. You can do it off of me.
You don't just go to a party anymore.
You go to a party with a digital camera, and then your friends relive the party online.
And tagging. The idea...
Would this be easier without the bra? It's worth finding out.
All right, shut the music down!
The party's over!
Everybody, go home!
I've spent hours watching what people do when they log on.
How they check their friends' status updates.
Wait. That's weird. Why did the music stop?
Check to see which one of their friends changed their profiles, changed their photos...
Seriously, what happened to the music?
We lived on farms and then we lived in cities, and now we're going to live on the Internet!
Sean, stop. I think something's going on downstairs.
Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please?
It's time for you to go home. The party is over.
Then it's all good.
It's the cops. What?
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Okay, it's okay. Be cool.
Good to see you, Officer. What can I do for you?
What's going on?
Was the music too loud? We were having a celebration.
Miss, I need you to button your blouse.
I can tell them to turn the music down.
That's not mine.
Okay, we're gonna need identification. Keep your hands where we can see them.
Oh, my God.
You got anything else in your pockets I should know about?
No, sir. No.
Don't be stupid, now. I don't, I don't.
That's an EpiPen.
And this? That's my inhaler.
How old are you?
Twenty-one. I'm 21.
Lying only makes it worse.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied.
Listen, something's happened.
No, it's all right. It's gonna be all right.
I posted bond, and I wasn't doing anything. I mean, I've got allergies.
It was just a party.
This is gonna be news, Sean. It's gonna be online any second.
You know with an intern...
No, it's cool. I have it under control.
I will get it under control.
I will call someone and see what the next move is.
But this is gonna be news now.
You don't think Wardo was involved, do you?
I mean, do you think...
Or Manningham. One of them.
Somebody. Somebody sent the coke in there, because it got in there.
You believe me. God, this is gonna be fine.
Go home, Sean.
We're done for the day.
Yeah. Yeah, I was just sitting here.
What happened to Sean?
He still owns 7% of the company.
All you had all day was that salad. Do you wanna get something to eat?
I'm not a bad guy.
I know that.
When there's emotional testimony, I assume 85% of it is exaggeration.
And the other 15?
Perjury. Creation myths need a devil.
What happens now?
Sy and the others are having a steak on University Avenue.
Then they'll come back up to the office, and start working on a settlement agreement to present to you.
They're gonna settle? Oh, yeah.
And you're gonna have to pay a little extra. Why?
So that these guys sign a nondisclosure agreement.
They say one unflattering word about you in public, you own their wife and kids.
I invented Facebook.
I'm talking about a jury.
I specialize in voir dire, jury selection.
What a jury sees when they look at a defendant.
Clothes, hair, speaking style, likeability...
I've been licensed to practice law for all of 20 months, and I could get a jury to believe that you planted the story about Eduardo and the chicken.
Watch what else.
Why weren't you at Sean's sorority party that night?
You think I'm the one that called the police? Doesn't matter.
I asked the question, now everybody's thinking about it.
You've lost your jury in the first 10 minutes.
I was drunk and angry and stupid.
And blogging... And blogging.
In the scheme of things, it's a speeding ticket.
That's what Sy will tell you tomorrow.
Do you think anybody would mind if I stayed and used the computer for a minute?
I can't imagine it would be a problem.
I appreciate your help today.
You're not an asshole, Mark.
You're just trying so hard to be.
Baby, your a rich man "Baby, You're A Rich Man by The BEATLES"