The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) Script

WOMAN: l want you to talk about women.

Mr. Crown? l'm sorry. Women.

You've yet to talk about women. l enjoy women.

Enjoyment isn't intimacy.

And intimacy isn't necessarily enjoyment.

How would you know?

Has it occurred to you that you have a problem with trust?

(CHUCKLES) l trust myself implicitly.

Yes, but can other people trust you?

You mean society at large? l mean women, Mr. Crown.

Yes, a woman could trust me.

Good.

Under what extraordinary circumstances would you allow that to happen?

Awoman could trust me

as long as her interests didn't run too contrary to my own.

And society at large, if its interests were to run counter to your own?


Jimmy, l think l'll walk for a while. l'll meet you at the office.

You want me to take your briefcase?

No, l'll carry it.

(HORN BLARlNG)

Whoa! Jesus Christ!

Look at this jerk.

(CAMERA CLlCKS)


(BRlEFCASE LOCK CLlCKlNG)

BOBBY: Morning, Mr. Crown.

Bobby.

Back for your haystacks, huh?

Don't ever let it go on tour.

Oh, l'll lay down the law.

(BOBBY CHUCKLES)

You're an odd duck.

Everybody else goes right for the Monet.

lt's very nice.

Nice? Do you know what it's worth?

l just like my haystacks.

(HORNS BLARlNG)

MAN: Yo, you gonna move it?

Come on, buddy. Let's go. Move it.

Jesus Christ.

Bring it on.

Something's screwed up.

My list says some kind of sarcophagus.

What do you want me to do? lt's a horse.

You want l should take it back and dump it?

Just unload the damn thing.

Boy, it's gonna be hot today.

(SlREN WAlLlNG)

Good morning, Mr. Crown. Good morning, Sam.

You can't let 'em know what's going on. Know what l mean?

What, do you own the building?

Excuse us, sir.

OFFlCER: What the hell? What's going on?

MAN: He does own the building.

(ELEVATOR BELL DlNGlNG)

Good morning, Mr. Crown.

Good morning, one and all.

Good morning, Mr. Crown. John, welcome back.

Good morning, Mr. Crown. Good morning.

Give me good numbers, Jimmy. Good morning, Daria.

Good morning, Mr. Crown.

You forgot your briefcase, right? l must've left it here last night.

(KEYS JlNGLlNG)


We have a disparity here. l saw that.

Well, we can't leave it here.

Let's find out what the problem is.

(BEEPS)

(MECHANlCAL HUMMlNG)


That is not a sarcophagus.

lt's Friday.

MAN: What did he mean by that? l'd say, come Monday, there's gonna be hell to pay.


MAN 1 : Deuce!

(MEN CHUCKLlNG)

Times in this thing l never thought l'd see that.

MAN 2: Thomas Crown forced to sell something.

So what do you think?

You don't have any regrets about the way you played this?

Regret is usually a waste of time.

As is gloating. Have you figured out what you're gonna say to your board when they learn that you paid me 30 million more than others were offering?

Good morning, gentlemen.

(SAWlNG)

(CREAKlNG)


(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(CLlCKS)

All right, English only from now on.

(SPEAKlNG POLlSH)

(MAN LAUGHlNG)

MAN: Gentlemen, upon closer inspection, your proposal is not as generous as you led us to believe.

There is no mention of executive compensation.

Look, gentlemen, we understand your objection to the merger. lt's not a merger!

Your stockholders have spoken.

The stock price was manipulated.

We've anticipated your reluctance.

We won't be a Crown subsidiary.

Our attorneys are prepared to go head-to-head with you at the SEC.

(LAUGHlNG) l thought that kid would bust a gut when you went into that thing about SEC.

That was brilliant! How's it go?

"lt's sad to see another tired man. . ."

"Lay down his hand and quit the holy game of poker."

That's the line, Danny.

He's right, you know.

Third-generation company, you think they would have shown more grit.


DARlA: Don't forget about the Douglaston conference call in 1 0 minutes.

Speak to Scully. Miso soup, Daria.

DARlA: On its way.

Go, go, go!

This painting is considered to be the first lmpressionist work in history. lt started the lmpressionist movement. lt influenced dozens of major artists who went on to found the first major school or style of the 20th century.

(STUDENTS WHlSPERlNG)

Okay. Try this. lt's worth 1 00 million bucks.

(ALL GASPlNG)

And the government guy we paid off to make the state deal is back.

No, this is the second time they lied. Screw 'em.

Daniel, you had turkey. Mr. Schmidt called from UBS.

There's an opening for the board.

DARlA: Conference call in 1 0 minutes.

BOBBY: Young lady, do not touch. l'll let you go this time. On your way.

(CLANKlNG)

(MACHlNES SHUTTlNG DOWN)

(GROANS)

(EXCLAlMS)

(GROANS)

Jimmy, would you take a look in the compressor room?

There's something wonky with the A.C.

Can't we pass it on to Engineering?

The book says we check it first.

All right.

lt would be one of the hottest days of the year.

Can you believe it's nearly October?

(ELEVATOR BELL DlNGS)

Why don't you bring the kids?

Are you kidding?

You know how she is.

She'd probably run to court saying l was endangering them.

(ELEVATOR BELL DlNGS)

You're not kiddin'?

You wouldn't believe the shit the woman deals out.


The whole air-conditioning plant's crapped out.

Why didn't they call Maintenance?

(CHUCKLES)

See you in the morning.

Found your briefcase, l see.

Evidently.

Good night, sir.

(GRUNTlNG)


CROWN: That's good. Here you go. MAN: Okay.

Thanks.

They want to talk to you upstairs.

Me, or the regular proctor?

Because McKinley'll be back in a couple seconds. l think you should talk to them.

Call them if you like.

(ELECTRlCAL HUMMlNG)

Administration. Hello?

This is Jeff in wing eight. l was just told you wanted to speak to me. l'll be right up.

l'll just go up.

Sorry. This exhibit is closing. l'll have to ask you to leave.

This exhibit is now closed.

Please use the nearest exit.

This exhibit is now closed.

We are closed for the evening.

We're closing. Thank you.

Please exit through the rear.

Thank you. Right this way.

Good night.

Thank you very much. l'm sorry, sir. This exhibit is closed.

What have we got here? lt's only a quarter to 5:00.

We are closed. For cleaning.


Hey, Bobby, l've been evicted. What do you mean?

The lmpressionist Gallery, closed for cleaning.

Cleaning?

Doing it right now.

Ed, want to lend me a hand here for a minute?

Certainly.

(SPEAKlNG ROMANlAN)

BOBBY: Excuse me.

What do you think you're doing?

Yes.

What?

Upstairs sent us down to clean this exhibit.

They've got some VlPs coming through. l didn't hear about it. l oversee this section.

Call upstairs if you like.

No, you're right.

They've been having people down here all week.

(MEN SHOUTlNG)

MAN: Stop him ! Watch it now!

(GROANlNG)

Look out, Mr. Crown.

(GROANlNG)

(ALARM BLARlNG)

(PEOPLE SHOUTlNG)


FEMALE PROCTOR: One at a time. Quickly.

Keep moving in a calm manner, please.

No need to panic. Thank you.

(GRUNTS)

Hold it right there.

(HELlCOPTER WHlRRlNG)

Freeze!

Keep your hands up!

(SlREN WAlLlNG)

(WHlSTLES)

68th and Lexington.


Good evening, sir. Hey, Paul.

Wanna put this in the study? l set out a bottle of wine.

Thank you. l may have won a cruise.


(CLlCKlNG)

(CLlCKS)


(LAUGHS)

Oh, yes.

Mikey.

They find the chopper?

Abandoned in Queens.

We know where it was stolen? Checking.

Maybe a pad in the Hamptons.

Mr. Lenox.

Mr. Lenox is the director of the museum.

This is Detective Michael McCann.

Sorry to be here, sir.

Who are the actors?

Four, all foreign.

Probably Eastern European.

No print records. lllegals. Check with lnterpol.

Russian government might help. ln the works. Point of entry was a hollow statue delivered this morning.

They brought it in through their own security.

Next you're gonna tell me it was a horse.

A Trojan horse? Bingo.

Somebody's got a sense of humor.

We got three digits off the truck plate.

(CHUCKLES) This place been hit before?

They just lost their cherry. l gather it was just the one painting?

But it's such an important one. lt's a seminal work, a historical watershed. lt's truly irreplaceable. l love this neighborhood.

Some of these broads are wearing my salary.

So the skylight was rigged to blow?

Yeah. And there were cargo nets spread out, ready to use.

And they were wearing rappelling harnesses underneath their clothes.

Let's just track this thing through. So they kill the air, make the place uncomfortable, drive out the tourists, right?

Then they lower these gates so nobody can get in to disturb them.

Then they lower the paintings into the cargo nets.

Pull the paintings, ditch the frames.

Figure they're gonna fly out of here like a road company of Peter Pan.

But somebody makes them early.

Chopper takes off.

Some of the crew make it, some of them don't.

Basically, amateur night, right?

What's that? lt was wedged under the gate.

And?

Not exactly Samsonite.

MAN: Titanium. The engineer said that it'd have to absorb

1 5 to 20 tons to stop this gate.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHlNG)

CATHERlNE: Seems there may be a couple of holes in your theory.

They shut off the air to drive out the tourists, then they escort them out anyway?

Then they close the gates to keep everybody out but block one of them open while they prepare to load, conservatively, 1 ,000 pounds of paintings and 800 pounds of men, that we know about, in a. . .

What was the chopper model?

Sikorsky S-76.

Right. ln a chopper with a 600-pound useful load.

You figure you'll wrap this by morning, do you, Lieutenant? lt's Detective. And l'm a little fuzzy about who you are. l'm sorry. l'm Catherine Banning. Of?

Zurich underwriters requested. . . Well, actually. . .

You're insurance.

There are a couple Swiss gentlemen who'd rather not write a $1 00 million check.

So, l'm stuck with you on my back.

Come on, Lieutenant.

Who knows? You might enjoy it.

(CHUCKLES)

(JOHN EXCLAlMS)

Thousand bucks says you can't do that again.

Tony, put another ball down there.

Tommy, it was a figure of speech.

Let's make it interesting, shall we? 1 0-to-one?

Fine. l'll take your money.

Let's go again. Still 1 0-to-one.

That's $1 00,000 on a goddamn golf swing. lt's a beautiful Saturday morning, John.

What the hell else do we gotta do?

She does live in Europe but she's actually from the Midwest.

Born Catherine Olds. Who's Banning?

Some Englishman she married for six months.

So she's not law enforcement.

Worse. Bail bonds and bounties.

Whoa, tough people.

Her father's an Ohio hardcase, Clarence Milton Olds, called Bumper Olds.

Story goes he kept a chain on his back bumper.

A guy ran on him once, he brought him back on the end of the chain.

Guess you don't wanna cross old Clarence.

Good morning. How are you?

l said, how are you?

Jet-lagged. Thank you.


We thought we'd start with the security tapes. What is that?

You don't wanna know.

All right. These are yesterday's tapes from the lmpressionist wing.

CATHERlNE: Why are they different from the corridor cameras?

MAN: We're upgrading to thermal imagery.

So far, it's just the high-value areas.

But it works in the dark. Even senses body heat.

Got it. So that's the Monet that morning.

Right.

Skip forward to the robbery.

Time of the robbery. Whoa.

Zip.

Was the camera still working, or what, did they cut the feed?

(EXCLAlMS)

That's why they cut the air.

MAN: You know, that could be.

These things need a 1 0-degree difference. lf the temperature of the ambient gets within 1 0 degrees of the bodies. . .

Then the camera can't tell between people and walls.

How hot did it get in the museum?

Check the other cameras.

So why can you see people in this room?

The ambient in that wing only went up to the mid-80s.

Wait a minute.

You're telling me that for some reason, the area around that particular painting went above 90?

McCANN: What? l don't know. Something.

McCANN: What, are we channeling now?

How long you been doing this?

Awhile.

Where? ln Europe?

And other places.

You're a real self-promoter.

Give me a for instance.

How many legs? What?

The bench.

Two.

You still have that tape up? Yeah.

Great. Back it up to the morning part of the tape.

Stop.

Hello.

Jesus.

McCANN: So they bring this thing in earlier in the day. lt could be a heater.

What? ln the briefcase, on a timer.

Bring the temperature up 1 0 more degrees.

You ever eat?

CATHERlNE: Hmm?

Lunch, for instance?

You like pizza? l know a great place we could stop.

l'm on London time.

And pizza's not your thing.

What's the matter, Lieutenant?

Did she leave you for a stockbroker? lt's Detective, First Grade.

And he was a urologist.

Can l drop you someplace? At your hotel?

One, l keep an apartment here, and two, l'm going to your office.

She keeps an apartment. l keep goldfish.

(LAUGHlNG)

Hello there, little lady. How are you doing?

Detective.

They don't seem to be Russian.

Tadross thinks maybe Romanian.

The witness is here. Right.

Come on in. Mmm-hmm

Number four.

McCANN: You're sure? l'm sure.

Would you mind indicating that here? Certainly.

Just check it off.

And if you could sign down here, please.

These gentlemen will take you out, finish the paperwork.

Appreciate it. CROWN: Thank you very much.

We're gonna go beat up the Romanians.

Thank you, thank you.

Wait a minute. l gotta get some coffee.

CROWN: That sums it up, gentlemen.

And you'd be willing to testify?

CROWN: Absolutely. l have to tell you, people like this, they might have friends.

You realize they might try to make it ugly for a witness. l understand, gentlemen, and l guess l'll take my chances.

PARETTl: We'll nail these jokers.

CROWN: l can't imagine somebody thinking they'd get away with a thing like this.

(SPEAKlNG FORElGN LANGUAGE)

They say anything yet?

Not in English.

They're still trying to find somebody to translate.

Let me try.

Do not tell me you speak Romanian.

God, who would ever bother with Romanian?

Give me the quiet one.

Okay.

(SPEAKlNG lN FORElGN LANGUAGE)

(SPEAKlNG GERMAN)


(GRUNTS)

They do speak English. lt was a prepackaged robbery.

He picked them up in Little Odessa.

They were given timetables, electrical. . .

Who's "he"?

You don't think they know, do you? l mean, there were intermediaries.

They never saw his face or heard his voice.

One-time hires. That's why they failed.

What makes you think they failed?

Oh, maybe it was a successful robbery.

Maybe they were set up to fail.

Why? Diversion.

Make a lot of noise over there so over here in this room you can take 1 00 million off the wall and waltz right out the front door.

(GASPS)

Oh, that's good. Doesn't matter.

As soon as he tries to sell it, we nail him.

(LAUGHS)

(GULPlNG)

He's not gonna sell.

He's not? CATHERlNE: Mmm-mmm.

This is an elegant crime done by an elegant person. lt's not about the money. Okay.

So who's gonna risk prison to steal a Monet just to not sell it?

A Monet lover.

Whose desk is that?

Could l use it?

Yeah. Sure.

Okay. Let's dig up every major auction in the last five years and see who's been bidding on Monets.

See anyone we know?

Him?

A big day for this guy is taking off his tie.

He's a finance geek. ls he?

MAN: How's that? Yeah !

(LAUGHlNG)

Go, go!

(WHOOPlNG)

(SHOUTS)

Ease up.

Whoa.

(LAUGHlNG)

Come on ! Get 'em up. Get it! Let's go!


(SCREAMlNG)

l saw him wreck a $1 00,000 boat because he liked the splash.

Do you have any idea what kind of flesh-eating lawyers this guy has?

Hmm? Mmm-hmm.

Not to mention political connections.

LENOX: Mr. Thomas Crown has very generously loaned us a Pissarro until our own Monet is restored to us.

Not to mention personally apprehending one of the suspects. Come on !

(GUESTS APPLAUDlNG) l'm afraid Jim embellishes horrendously. l just did what Jim does at these fundraisers. l waved my arms in the air and shrieked for help.

(ALL LAUGHlNG)

Hello, Gloria. How are you?

Lovely to see you.

You're well? l knew him, you know.

Did you, madam? His son, that is.

Lucien Pissarro in the '30s in Paris. lt's very impressive.

Well, it seemed the right size for the space.

Or maybe you were bored with it.

Do we know each other?

Not yet. l'm Catherine Banning.

Thomas Crown.

Vodka rocks, twist. BARTENDER: Okay.

And scotch neat.

Mmm-hmm.

How did you know that? l've been reading about you.

Oh? Where? ln a file.

Who do you work for? l'm in the art world.

Dealer? Mmm-mmm.

Gallery owner?

No, it's closer to insurance.

l'm covered.

Not for this.

The painting?

The Monet?

You don't think they'd simply cut a check for $1 00 million, do you?

So you. . .

Get them things.

When there's this much money involved, it usually means l get them someone's head.

And whose head are you after?

Yours. Good evening, Mr. Crown.

Are you trying to. . .

Are you trying to imply that l had something to do with that painting?

Trying? Thank you.

No, l wouldn't call it an attempt.

What's your take from this?

5% of the value recovered.

Oh. A bounty hunter. lf you like.

Always get your man? Mmm-hmm.

Think you'll get me?

Oh, l hope so.

CROWN: Can l drop you somewhere?

CATHERlNE: l have a car here. Thanks.

Then tomorrow?

Us, dinner?

You're on.

Let's make it early.

We've got a stop to make first.

WOMAN: What's happened? Happened?

Whenever l talk while you're tuning out what l say the corners of your mouth go up.

You're enjoying something. lt's not me. What is it?

An entertainment.

Very little entertains you.

So l can easily guess.

Aworthy adversary?

Hmm?

Did someone swindle you?

(CHUCKLES)

You waltz in there without even a heads-up, without one word to me or anyone else in the department. l had a little chat with him, yes.

You had a little chat. You told him balls-out he was a suspect. l cut through the crap.

How long was it gonna take you, Mike?

Weeks of wiretaps, if you could get them.

Guys tailing him to the bathroom. l found out in 1 0 minutes.

He did it. The smug son of a bitch did it.

You compromised the investigation.

No, l jump-started it.

Oh, really? What do you have to show for it, besides a date?

The man likes the high wire. l'm gonna play with him for a while.

Well, l think there's some question as to who's playing whom.

You saying l shouldn't go?

Don't piss on the department, okay? We're on this.

(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

How do you do? This is a warrant.

We're here to conduct a legal search of these premises. l'd let us.

Jack, give me two men up here. l want two more men in this room here.

Let's go. Move, move.

Come on. Let's go.

John, take the back room.

MAN: You want help in here?

PAUL: Mr. Crown.

Thank you. Excuse me?

Why are you in my house? l'm sure it's a mystery to you, but your lawyer will be able to explain.

Wallace?

This gentleman happens to be my attorney.

(ENGlNE STARTS)

(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

Keep your knickers on. l'll get into his house.


You look wonderful. Thank you.

How are you? Popular.

PARETTl: Mikey. Man, you're not gonna believe this.

You know where he's taking her?

To the museum.

He's takin' her to the fucking museum. lt's kinda sweet.

You know, for a first date. Huh?

CATHERlNE: Hey, l didn't know your portrait was here.

The faceless businessman in a bowler hat.

Everything but the briefcase.

Did you have to sit long for the artist?

Actually, l do own a copy of that.

(LAUGHlNG)

Oh, of course you do.

And where might you be taking me?

Come, come, come, come.

Good evening, sir. The museum is closing in 1 5 minutes.

CROWN: Thank you.

Your loaner. That's the least l could do. l see they got the air back on. l shouldn't have checked my coat.

Well, thank you.

You know, if l had my pick in this room l wouldn't have taken the Monet.

No? No.

What would you take?

For my personal choice?

(KEYS JlNGLlNG)

That one.

You?

You'd like to have that?

Why?

Would you get it for me?

Anything's obtainable.

(CHUCKLES) Okay, l'll bite.

What would you do to get it? l'd buy a print.

(LAUGHlNG)

lt looks like they're going into Cipriani.

Wait a minute. l thought they were supposed to go to Le Cirque. l'm watching them walk into Cipriani.

And with no reservation.

CROWN: Scotch neat for me, and l guess the lady would like a. . .

What?

That the lady actually likes champagne.

WAlTER: We have Krug Grand Cuvee 1 981 .

Sounds great. Thank you.

Wonderful. On the way.

You've been busy.

(CHUCKLlNG) l'm sure your files are thicker than mine.

The thing that impressed me most was getting from Glasgow to Oxford on a boxing scholarship.

Not bad for a wee lad from "Glasgee." lt was easy. Rich kids can't box.

The hard part was learning to talk.

But you, now. The matador?

The ltalian industrialist?

The ambassador's son? He was cute.

He was 1 7. Yes, he was. l must admit, that's a fair litany for a young girl from Lima, Ohio.

But the part l didn't get. . . l mean, it's obvious that you like men, but you never keep any of them around very long either.

Oh, well, men make women messy.

Thank you.

Here's to the fear of being trapped.

Here's the fish for the lady.

Thank you.

You're welcome. And the lamb chops for the gentleman.

Thank you. We'd like to pre-order souffles.

And l'd like to send a bottle of burgundy to those two gentlemen.

WAlTER: Of course, sir. Enjoy.

Thank you. At least they look like uptown.

The ones yesterday looked like flashers.

Well, we do our best. l'm under glass.

Soon you'll know everything about me.

There are things we don't know.

Like what?

Like why.

Were you bored?

Acquisitions and mergers looking a little stodgy?

ls it more fun getting it than keeping it? ls this the fun part for you?

How do you mean? lt's not about the money.

You like the chase. Not many women get to chase. lt's like poker. We don't let you in the game.

You're right. My brothers said l didn't have the mind for it.

And now they're plumbers.

Oh, but you knew that.

Can l ply you with anything else? Nothing.

Cheese tray? Would you like a. . .

Would you like a deal?

Make it easy on yourself.

We'll just get more warrant searches.

Mess up your carpeting.

May l. . .

May l ask you a very personal question?

Why not?

Would you like another hit of espresso?

Would you like another. . .

Like another hit of espresso?

Mmm.

That's the very personal question?

That's as good as it gets.

Oh. Excuse me.

May l ask you a very personal question?

Oh, sure. By all means.

Do you really think l'm going to sleep with a man l'm investigating? ls that the question? Yes, that's it.

Why should l answer your question when you didn't commit to my espresso?

All right. l'll seriously commit to your espresso.

(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG)


l'd let you in. . .

But the world is watching.

Yes, they are.

And besides, you've got no furniture.

Oh, that's good. That's very good.

Good night. Good night.


Alone?

(MAN CHATTERlNG ON TV)


Ready?

Okay.

Ground.

Okay.

Ten.

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

Fourteen.

Fifteen.

Sixteen.

Seventeen.

Eighteen.

Nineteen.

MAN: Got it.

Good. You're slippin', Larry.

LARRY: Give me a break, all right?

Guy's got a 1 0-digit PlN.

Check the basement first.

You got it.


Excuse me. ls that it?

We got it. She got it!

Excuse me.

(ALL CHEERlNG)

ls the expert here?

(WHOOPS) Ready and waiting, darling.

Let's see what you got. Okay.

Look, this is George French, head of forensics.

Hi, George.

This is Dr. Cornelius of Manhattanville. Come on in, Doc.

This is Catherine Banning. How do you do?

Hello. Well, go to work, Doctor.

Don't glare at me, Michael.

So are the laws of the United States completely unknown to you?

Or is it because you've been living in fucking Morocco?

Monaco.

Mogambo. l don't give a shit. lt's illegal entry, theft, trespassing. l'm not a cop. No, you're not a cop. lf you were a cop, you'd know that this won't hold up.

Don't you want him to go up for. . . My job is the painting.

DR. CORNELlUS: You've got a ghost here.

What?

Another painting underneath.

Monet reused his canvases.

Monet's unknown masterpiece Dogs at Cards.

Where is that sack of shit? Where is he right now?


(TALKlNG SOFTLY)

(HUMMlNG)

Excuse me? l'm cutting in.

lt's all right. l'll see you later.

lt's a black-and-white ball.

Oh, so. l wasn't invited anyway.

You left yourself wide open.

You're all flushed.

How many people can forge a Monet?

Five, maybe six?

Come now. l'm sure l can't be arrested for a joke.

Oh, but this was a little too good.

You think you're just inches away. l am inches away.

You think l'm just gonna peck at crumbs you lay out? l can smell blood on my own.

(LAUGHlNG)

You smug son of a. . .

(UPBEAT MUSlC PLAYlNG)


Do you want to dance or do you want to dance?


(EVERYTHlNG lS NEVER QUlTE ENOUGH PLAYlNG)


(LAUGHlNG)

CATHERlNE: Get away, get away!

(PANTlNG) You are the most remarkable woman.

You don't think we're finished, do you?

(LAUGHlNG)

(SCREAMS)

(CATHERlNE LAUGHlNG)


Good morning. Good morning.

CROWN: Good morning, Paul.

Can l get you anything else?

Not a thing.

Thank you, Paul.

CATHERlNE: Thank you, Paul. l suppose you didn't just run out for that.

No. Damn, l hate being a foregone conclusion.

You live very well.

Thank you. lt'd be a shame to lose it all.

That depends on a very large presumption.

Yes, it does. l won't back off, you know.

Not even for a minute. l'd be hugely disappointed if you did.

CROWN: How do porcupines mate?

Old joke. Very carefully.

Carefully or unsuccessfully.

Don't see many porcupines.

Creatures with highly evolved defense systems.

Like porcupines.

Like 42-year-old, successful, self-involved loners.

lf you've found a female mirror image and think you're going to form a rewarding relationship. . .

Think again?

CATHERlNE: Good morning.

Nice dress.

Looks like it was a great party.

(LAUGHlNG)

You gonna be a cliche?

Did you even think twice?

No.

You knew what you were doing.

My job.

He likes me. He'll keep liking me.

Keep him right next to me.

You don't care what that makes you?

l know what l'm doing.

Do you really?

This is just about money, Mike.

(EXCLAlMS) He's got a problem.

CATHERlNE: l could get used to this.

CROWN: Just hold on now.

Hold on? Why?

(CATHERlNE SCREAMlNG)

All right!

You're gonna take the stick.

Oh, l'm not taking. . .

Take the stick. l'm not taking. . .

Put your hands on the stick.

Oh, no.

Just put it right. . . That's it. That's good.

That's good. CATHERlNE: Oh, my God !

(SHRlEKlNG)

Head for that hill over there.

Head for the hill. Don't lose it now.

Don't lose it. There you go.

CROWN: This is ridge-running. We're doing it.

CATHERlNE: This is great. l'm in your hands.

Just feel that. Feel that movement? l do.

To the left.

CROWN: Pick up a thermal coming over the hill.

Just like a hawk.

(MOOlNG)

Cows.

That's okay. We're only about four states from your car.

That island isn't Manhattan. lt's not?

CATHERlNE: No. l have appointments.

Wanna keep 'em?


(SPEAKlNG FRENCH)

Door's welded. Throw your leg over.

Throw my leg over?

(ENGlNE STARTlNG)


(CABAN LA KA KRATCHlE PLAYlNG)

(lNAUDlBLE)

Oh, that's beautiful.

(WHOOPlNG)


CATHERlNE: Oh, this must go over.

CROWN: With whom?

Whomever you bring here. l never bring anyone here.

Voila.

(LAUGHlNG) l bet they're all my size, huh?

Could be. Might be off a little here and there but l think they'll make do. l'll go make dinner.

Come on.

You want some wine?

Yes. lt's beautiful !

Wanna see it?

No.

Are you sure? l'm sure.

Would you like a splash?

Come here.

CROWN: Wanna see it?

No.

You sure?

You think l believe you'd leave your hard-stolen painting lying around a hut?

What if l did?

And that you'd tell me?

What if l trust you?

You know you can't.

You don't believe it's possible that you could ever trust me, do you?

You know how likely l think that is?

Excuse me.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Should l open another bottle?

Yes. l think so.

The '85 wasn't very good.

No, it's. . . lt's not at all.

Truce. A truce would be good.

That'd be great. That'd be good.

What was it? lt's a nice little Renoir.

Oh.

Renoir.

Nice little copy?

We'll never know, will we?

Okay, l give up!

Easy, easy.

Think l'll get that bottle.

Oh, yeah. That would be good.

(LAUGHlNG)

Oh, you're not boring. l'll give you that.


(SPEAKlNG lN FRENCH)

You've complimented me.

How?

They were bankers.

Who?

Who? The suits.

You're transferring assets, getting ready to run.

And suppose l did run? Then what would you have?

Not the painting, not the $5 million fee, not me.

Yes.

Suppose l gave you 1 0.

(CHUCKLlNG)

To fail?

How would l hide it? l'd teach you.

You really think there's happy ever after for people like us?

CATHERlNE: So just how big of a thief are you?

CROWN: Well, if you count Wall Street, pretty big.

lf you mean art

l'm just an amateur.

Beginner's luck, huh?

Gentleman jockey wins the derby.

Something like that.

Well, you got your hand caught in the cookie jar now.

How are you gonna get out of it?

lt's just a game, love.

Just a game.

McCANN: Nice tan. Thanks.

Went to the beach a couple days.

On the job?

That's right.

And did you pick anything up?

He's got an ornament worn by Frederick Barbarossa at his coronation in 1 1 52.

Really? Stolen?

No.

So, that's it, huh, after two days and two nights?

That was it.

Would you like to know where he was the night before he left?

Or after he left you last night?

Not really.

Okay, suit yourself.

Michael.

She's. . .

. . .striking.

He seems to think so. Three dates in six days.

Where does he find the time?

You okay?

Yeah.

You know, l was okay once.

My girlfriend got drunk.

Stayed out all night, came back in the morning married.

l told people l didn't care and then l fucked five women in three days, flipped my car on an on-ramp, beat a suspect unconscious, got suspended.

But l was okay.

ls there a point to this story?

They both had to come out of the same building.

What's this?

Photos of the borders of the Monet.

The borders?

Before insurers indemnify a painting, they remove it from the frame and photograph the borders.

Borders are never seen in galleries or auctions, so if a picture is stolen and someone tries to pass off a forgery, the borders won't match.

And if the borders do happen to match?

Then the forger was in the presence of the original painting.

So, if Crown's prank Monet happens to be too good. . .

Then we find the forger and nail the bastard.

McCANN: How long have you had these?

Five days.

And you didn't open them?

Yeah, well, they're open now.

(PlANO PLAYlNG)

(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG)

lt's beautiful.

You're not gonna say "l couldn't possibly"?

No.

l wouldn't say anything that boring.

She's an old friend, but it'll be like having dinner at a morgue.

You know, it occurred to me, l might be able to bear it if you came with me.

Tomorrow? That's so soon. l sense hesitation.

No.

Do you find my company monotonous?

(LAUGHS)

No.

Because l'd hate to think you could.

What, be bored by you? Require a little variety?

You're referring to Anna.

(CHUCKLlNG)

They photographed me with Anna.

You know, that's your prerogative. l thought they were. l let it happen.

You wanna know why? l'll tell you why. l don't want to know why. l wanna tell you.

You know what? l don't wanna know why.

Jimmy, l'd like to get out. Jimmy, keep driving.

Jimmy, could you stop?

CATHERlNE: l don't wanna know why!

CROWN: Just let me tell you why!

Now ask me why! l don't wanna know!

You're upset about it.

Yeah, because that's what you wanted. l needed you to be upset.

He's sadistic. Who knew?

Did it occur to you l needed to know? Know what?

Know whether all it was to you was the painting.

How else could l know?

What about you?

l can leave here tomorrow. So can you.

We'd be fugitives.

Fugitives with means.

All the difference in the world.

l don't know.

WOMAN: Oh, dear.

Peter Pan decides to grow up and finds there's no place to land.

The only sad part is, if she's anything like you, she won't know what she's lost until it's gone.

Hey, let's go.

Where?

The painting's borders match perfectly.

Then again, l'm sure you knew that, didn't you?

Come on. Let's go meet some forgers. l was never an lmpressionist.

Anyway, l pay taxes now.

McCANN: Doing what?

Portraits. lnserting the rich into old masterpieces.

The wife's face on the Mona Lisa.

From Brooklyn to Greenwich in one generation, you gotta have the paintings to match.

So, who did it?

The German.

Heinrich. . .

CATHERlNE: Knutzhorn.

Art's a small world, Michael.

So who do you think did this?

Friedrich Golchan.

He said you did.

So you think if l want paint, it just comes FedEx and the guards just think it's therapy while l madly copy a Monet in my cell from the original?

What?

Nothin'.

What? l was just wondering about what he wouldn't say.

Give.

There's nothing.

You know what?

Life is full of shitty conflicts, okay?

Give.

l just wondered if there was a connection between them, that's all.

Between Crown and that old man?

Yeah.


(CAMERA CLlCKlNG)

You are spooky. You are really spooky.

They owned a gallery together. . .

Crown and Knutzhorn. ln Berlin, 1 990.

And another one in Hamburg and one in Paris in '94.

You notice the one-man show in Paris in '95?

The artist is Knutzhorn.

So?

So look at the first name.

Tyrol Knutzhorn.

Yeah, we spoke to a Heinrich.

You know what it was?

The way he smiled at the painting?

Pride. Paternal pride. l bet you it's his son.

McCANN: Son of a great forger who paints as well as dad.

Just hasn't been caught yet.

Well, l assume if you look you'll find Tyrol Knutzhorn lives in New York.

You know what? l. . . l owe you an apology. l didn't think you had the chops to see this through.

Well, you don't know me.

Yeah, but l should have. l bet you'd stand at the Pearly Gates and kick St. Peter right in the teeth before you'd let somebody play you.

Harold, listen carefully, and please don't interrupt. lf l had to be gone, and l mean seriously gone, in about eight hours, how much could l take with me?

HAROLD: Are you all right?

You'll be taking an enormous loss if you liquidate like this. Understand? l understand that, and that can't be helped.

But what could l leave with?

Call me back in an hour, l'll have a number for you of some kind.

Okay.

McCANN: Leavin' us?

No, you're not that lucky. l'm organizing.

No Knutzhorn's ever been to see the old man.

No?

There was a Knudsen, though, three times last month.

You think that's just a coincidence?

Could be.

Yeah.

Probably is.

Hmm.

Look, here's an extra 1 00. Just go, go! ls he here? He's in a meeting. lt's very important.

Wait in the living room. l'll get him.

Ma'am, wait.

CROWN: l know we have a plug adaptor. l saw it. l just can't find the bloody plug adaptor.

Would you go downstairs and. . .

(DOOR CLOSES)

Well, we seem to have backtracked.

No.

Take your hands off me!

What do you have that's fresh?

Like who that girl is and why she's here every time. . .

Anna works for me.

Oh, you never thought l was a fool before.

She's here because l owe her money and l wanted to pay her before l go.

Really? And what is it she does for you? Mmm-hmm. l would be compromising her to say.

Oh, Tommy, you're going away together.

No, l'm going with you.

Of all the things in the world to take with a leap of faith.

How can l possibly trust you? l'm not gonna ask that. l'm gonna trust you. lsn't that what you wanted, my trust?

Tomorrow afternoon l'll put the Monet back.

(LAUGHlNG)

Where? Hanging back on the wall in the museum?

Yes.

You know, Tommy, l'm all checkmated out. lf the painting's back, we're free of it all.

We're only for each other.

Back on the wall in the museum?

Yes.

And you'll meet me at 4:00 at the Wall Street Heliport and we'll leave together.

Or. . .

Or you can have them at the museum waiting for me.

l'm trusting you.

l can't. l can't do that!

Damn you, you son of a bitch !

(CRYlNG) Get away!


(THUNDER RUMBLlNG)

Hey.

Hi.

l need to talk to you.

McCANN: Paretti. Yeah.

You're in the lobby, right?

Yeah, Mikey, l'm here.

Me and about 30 other guys.

Let up on yourself. You did the right thing.

Assuming the son of a bitch shows up.

(SlRENS BLARlNG)

Mark, stay with the car.

Get a uniformed man on the fire escape.

Got it.

Detective.

Yeah.

God damn it! She leave anything behind?

Just stake out the whole place.

Maybe she'll come back again.

No, no, no. ls Jack there? Put Jack on the phone.

Get Jack.

What? Forger.

You didn't think we just dropped that, did you?

Jack ran it down this morning. lt was a daughter, not a son, and she was under our noses the whole time.

Tyrol, Anna, Knudsen, Knutzhorn, whatever.

Crown's known her since she was 1 0.

When her father went to jail, Crown became her guardian.

Put her through college, for Christ's sake.

Now she works for one of his companies.

Jack, here's what l want you to do.

He's in. Got him.

McCANN: l'll call you back.

That's him.

Overcoat and briefcase.

Yeah, Mikey, we got him.

Center entrance. Gray overcoat.

Bring up the lobby on the big monitor.

McCANN: Move in quietly. We don't wanna make a scene.

Thomas.

What the hell's he doin'? lt's almost like he wants to make sure that we see him.

Let's play ball.

There he goes. Bowler hat. Move in and pick him up.

Go. Move it.

Quietly. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Shit, he switched the painting. Stay with the painting.

What? l can't. . .

Shit! There's another one.

MAN: Where is he?

What the hell. . .

There's guys with bowler hats. . .

All over the goddamn place.

Did you warn him?

What? No. No!

Then he knew you were gonna betray him.

Shit. They're going for the staircases.

That does it. Now we got four floors to keep track of.

Stay with him. This man disappears, it'll be 1 0 years before he surfaces again. ls the lmpressionist wing sealed off?

Completely.

There's no way to get in?

Gates are down. We got men on the roof. lf he tries to put the painting back, l guarantee it won't be in that room.

Got 'em coming out of the woodwork.

What's the deal?

(SlNNER MAN PLAYlNG)

Oh, sinner man, where you gonna run to?

Where you gonna run to all on that day?

Will l run to the rock?

Please hide me l run to the rock MAN: He's going the other way.

Please hide me l run to the rock Please hide me all on that day But the rock cried out

"l can't hide you" The rock cried out What? McCANN: Where are you?

What? l can't hear you. l ain't gonna hide you all on that day l said "Rock,"

"What's the matter with you, rock?

"Don't you see l need you, rock"

All on that day?

So l run to the river lt was bleeding to run to the sea This is ridiculous. He's got us running around in circles. lt was bleeding all on that day So l run to the river Paretti's trying to reach you. l know, you're fucked. l'm coming down.

lt was boiling all on that day So l run to the Lord

"Please help me, Lord"

"Don't you see me praying?"

What do we do?

Start arresting people. Come on.

Excuse me, sir. One moment.

Shit!

So l ran to the devil He was waiting l ran to the devil He was waiting all on that day

(ALARM BLARlNG) l knew it. Excuse me.

Power

Oh, l run to the river lt was boiling l run to the sea lt was boiling all on that day So l ran to the Lord l said, "Lord, help me

"Please help me

"Please help me all on that day"

He said, "Child, where were you

"When you ought to be praying l said, "Lord, Lord, hear me praying, Lord, Lord

"Hear me praying, Lord, Lord Coming through.

Get the civilians out of here.

Sinner man, you ought to be praying

Ought to praying, sinner man Ought to praying all on that day Power How do we get this gate open?

Kill the sprinklers in the lmpressionist wing now!

(COUGHlNG)


lt's water paint.

PARETTl: lt's been here the whole time.

From what, one, two days after the robbery?

There's something jammed in the track.

Returned the damn thing practically as soon as he stole it.

(CREAKlNG)

Oh, Lord. Oh, dear.

This. . . This can't be. lt simply can't be.

PARETTl: Now, how the hell did he do that?


McCANN: Where are you goin'?

Oh, office.

Write up my report.

The job's done, right? Yeah.

So, the other painting, why do you think he chose that particular one? l have no idea.

But it's not insured by my people, so l'm out of it.

Obviously, you'll still have to pursue it. l don't really give a shit.

You don't care if you catch him? l'll do what they tell me to do.

Did you ever care?

Yeah.

He pissed me off.

But look, the week before l met you l nailed two crooked real estate agents and a guy who was beating his kids to death.

So, if some Houdini wants to snatch a couple swirls of paint that are really only important to some very silly rich people l don't really give a damn.

You're a good man.

Okay. Get out of here.

And tell him l said hello. l have no idea what you're talking about.

Go on.

And don't stiff us for your phone bills.

No.

Taxi !

(HONKlNG)

You know, l'm just gonna run.

Thanks.

Excuse me. MAN: Sorry.

You can't go out there without an escort.

CATHERlNE: Tommy!

You would be Catherine?

Yes.

He wanted you to have this.

Good day, ma'am.


Hi, there.

How can l help you? l have a reservation.

Okay, Miss Banning.

Will you be carrying any luggage today?

No.

Can you see that this

gets to this man at police headquarters?

This should take care of it.

lt won't get there until the morning.

That's fine.

Departures for international flights are up the escalator to your left.

Ma'am, is everything all right?

Everything's fine.

(JET ENGlNE HUMMlNG)


(SOBBlNG)

CROWN: (lN SCOTTlSH ACCENT) You don't need to cry there, lassie.

Did you set this up?

Did you set this up? Did you?

Miss, please, the seat belt sign is still on.

(SlGHS) l'll tell you what.

You pull a stunt like that again, l'll break both your arms.

(WlNDMlLLS OF YOUR MlND PLAYlNG)

THE END

Round, like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel Never ending or beginning On an ever spinning wheel Like a snowball down a mountain Or a carnival balloon Like a carousel that's turning Running rings around the moon Like a clock whose hands are sweeping Past the minutes of its face And the world is like an apple Whirling silently in space Like the circles that you find ln the windmills of your mind

Like a tunnel that you follow To a tunnel of its own Down a hollow to a cavern Where the sun has never shone Like a door that keeps revolving ln a half forgotten dream Or the ripples from a pebble Someone tosses in a stream Like a clock whose hands are sweeping Past the minutes of its face And the world is like an apple Whirling silently in space Like the circles that you find ln the windmills of your mind

Keys that jingle in your pocket Words that jangle your head Why did summer go so quickly Was it something that you said Lovers walking along the shore Leave their footprints in the sand Was the sound of distant drumming Just the fingers of your hand Pictures hanging in a hallway And a fragment of this song Half remembered names and faces But to whom do they belong When you knew that it was over Were you suddenly aware That the autumn leaves were turning To the color of her hair Like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel Never ending or beginning On an ever spinning wheel As the images unwind Like the circles that you find ln the windmills of your mind

Pictures hanging in a hallway And the fragment of this song Half remembered names and faces But to whom do they belong When you knew that it was over Were you suddenly aware That the autumn leaves were turning To the color of her hair Like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel Never ending or beginning On an ever spinning wheel As the images unwind Like the circles that you find ln the windmills of your mind


Pictures hanging in a hallway And the fragment of this song Half remembered names and faces But to whom do they belong When you knew that it was over Were you suddenly aware That the autumn leaves were turning To the color of her hair Like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel Never ending or beginning On an ever spinning wheel As the images unwind Like the circles that you find