The Toxic Avenger (1984) Script

New York City, the world capital of culture and industry.

Here, among the towering skyscrapers, civilization is guided by men of progress and the wonders of technology.

But for all this industrial advancement, there is a price to pay.

Pollution. The unavoidable byproduct of today's society.

Every year, millions of gallons of poisonous wastes, garbage, and radioactive chemicals are disposed of in nearby towns such as Tromaville, the toxic waste dumping capital of the world.

Our story takes place at the Tromaville Health Club Where a young man named Melvin Furd works.

Melvin's entire life, in fact entire being was changed by toxic chemical waste.


Would you take a look at that fucking guy?

Dumb mop boy can't even mop right.

He's so stupid!

He's always got that shit-eating grin on his face.

What's he so happy about?

I hate that mop boy.

I think that creep is coming over here.

Julie, you smell something?

Ew! P-U! What's that stink?

Gee, that's funny. I don't smell nothing.

Melvin, clean up the toilet, it stinks over here!

OK. I'll be right there!

Look what you did, you fucking asshole!

Yeah, you fucking asshole!

Hey, what are you, retarded? Huh? retarded?

I'm sorry!

Sorry, huh?

You want me to go and get a fucking disease!

Yeah, you want her to go and get a fucking disease?

I didn't mean it!

Aw, I didn't mean it.

Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna take this mop and shove it down your throat.

He is stressing me, Julie!

He is stressing me!

Oh, Bozo...

I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie. He is screwing up my karma!

See what you did, you idiot? See what you did!?

You've stressed Bozo!

I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it. He was sitting there and I...

Ah! How dare you talk to me, you twerp!

Keep it up, Bozo. Keep it up.

But remember, there is only one muscle you gotta worry about.

Hey, you know. I think you ought to work a little bit on your gut.

You're getting a little bit flabby there.

Where!? What are you talking about?

I don't got no fat! There's no fat here. I don't got no f...

Fat! Fat!

Slug, are you sure no one will come in?

I paid Tony 15 bucks.

He said the place is ours until tomorrow morning.

Relax. You want a drink?

Yeah. Alright.

Slug, can I come again next time you and Bozo go driving?

If you want to, bad enough.

I love it when we go real fast.

And they never know what hit 'em.

They never believe we're going to run 'em down.

We keep getting closer and closer.

And faster and faster.

They're just standing there and yeah.

We hit them!

I love the sound of breaking bones!

The car driving over them, dragging their bodies.

All that beautiful blood!

Slug!

I want you, now.

Oh, Slug!

Oh, Slug!

Give it to me! Give it to me! More! More!

Get out of here, you pervert!

Or I'll kill ya!

Julie. Julie, the points. The rules, what are they?

Let me see if I can remember the whole list.

Now, jews, whops, niggers and chinks, they're all worth twenty-five points.

But Puerto Ricans, they're worth thirty points.

Now kids under twelve they're worth double points.

Skippy, don't forget your helmet.

OK, sis.

And be careful out there.

Julie, does it count if I graze them?

You got to destroy them! Bozo, I want them dead.

Now we're gonna get 'em.

Come on. Come on! Come on! Where the fuck is everybody? Where the fuck is everybody?

How much is a kid on a bicycle?

Where?

Twenty-eight points if you get both the kid and the bike?

Let's take a closer look.

Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he?

Out pretty late, aren't you, honey?

The coast is clear, Bozo.

We got him!

We're gonna kill him! We're gonna get him!


Now you get full points!

No way! The kid's still moving!

We're not finished yet!

He's still moving, no way you get full points.

No way, huh? No way? I'll fucking show you no way.

Give me that! Gibe me that!

Full points, my man!

Look at him! Wow, oh my God!

These are gonna be the best shots we've ever taken.

Yeah, this is fun!

These are great!

Show me your pretty pictures!

That was good! That was good!

I want to do it again! I want to do it again!

Yeah, let's do it again! Yeah, let's go for it again!

No, no I can't. I've got to go home.

What?

Well, I got to get up early in the morning.

Got to go to church.

Oh!

And up! Up! Up! Up!

Now kick! Out! Out! Out!

Now arms up! Stop. Stop.

That's really pitiful. Just stop. Just stop a second.

Look how many times do I have to tell you people?

Do exactly what I do.

If I kick my right foot, you kick your right foot.

If I kick my left foot, you kick your left foot.

Okay? Whatever I do, you do exactly the same thing.

Okay? Now how about we start again? You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing.

Okay guys, you know what I'm talking about?

Let's go, let's do it this time. Okay! Let's get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey...


Watch what I'm doing here. Watch how I hit this ball.

Are you watching me!? Are you watching me!?

I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it!

Aah! I'm gonna kick that freak's mouth in!

Bozo, it's okay. It's okay. Hey, guys, come here.

Have I got a plan to fix that mop boys wagon.

Great! What is it?

Well...

Hi, Melvin.

Whoa!

Melvin. Melvin, it's okay. It's okay.

Hey, I just came to apologize. Yes, I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday.

Oh, that's okay, Julie. I didn't really mind.

In fact, I was hoping you could help me, with a little problem. I've been having.

Who, me? Yes but...

I can't talk about here with all these people around.

Hey, I got a great idea.

Why don't you meet me in the girls locker room?

Girls' locker room?

Yes. Then we can discuss it alone.

Oh, oh!

Okay.

Great! Let's say 7 o'clock.

Okay. That'll be good for me, too, 'cause I gotta to clean the toilets in there around that time anyway.

Good. It's a date. See you then.

Okay.

490... 491... 492...

493... 494... 495...

Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell for it. Hook line and sinker.

Great!

We've been driving for two whole hours.

Let's pull this rig over and take a break.

Hey, the boss'll have our asses.

You know he don't want us to stop in habitated areas with this radioactive chemical waste we got on the back.

It's dangerous. It's like that cancerogenic stuff, you know.

Hey Joey, you remember that dope we were snorting last week?

Do I? Well, buddy boy. Check this out.

Holy shit! Why didn't you say so.

Let's pull it over!

Julie.

Hi, Melvin. Hi, Julie.

Come in, don't be shy.

So, what was it that you wanted me to help you with?

Well, it's about Bozo. Bozo?

Yeah, you see, I'm so sick of the way he goes around pushing people around all the time.

He's so immature.

In fact, I don't like to go out with him anymore.

But I don't know quite how to tell him.

In fact, Melvin, I think you're handsome, and sensitive and kind. Oh, Melvin, I find you irresistible.

Me? Yes.

Melvin, I want to do it with you.

Do it?

Do it!

Do what?

Do it, Melvin, do it!

Do it? Okay.

Wait a minute. Have I got a great idea, Melvin.

What is it?

We'll go down by the pool.

And afterward we can take a cool dip.

Alright.

There's one other little thing, Melvin.

You're not wearing pink.

Pink? It's my favorite color.

I have my pink on.

So, I brought this for you.

But this is sissy stuff. Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot.

It does. Yes.

If you put on your pink, I'll take off my pink.

I love pink! Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you.

And bring your mop. I will!


Julie? Here I am, Melvin.

It's so dark in here, where are you? I can't see you I'm right here, Melvin. Come here.

My lips are waiting for you, Melvin.

Whoa, put your arms around me.

Oh, Julie! Julie! Oh, Julie! I'm here!

Okay! Turn on the light!

You're so soft, Julie.

Baaa.

Ooh!


Ooh, he doesn't look very good to me.

Aaahh!

He's faking it, Julie! He's faking it.

I think he's in trouble.

Julie, this guy, if he can't take a joke, he stinks.

Get back! Get back! Step off! Get back!

Get out of here!

Easy, guy.

Melvin's on fire! Melvin's on fire!

Melvin, dear, are you alright?

Is anything the matter?

God, my arms! Ow! Ow!

Oh my feet!

Oh my God! Ahhhhhh!


Aaahhh!

Are you okay?

Melvin, dear, are you alright?


My little Melvin! He must have finally reached puberty.

Grrrr!

One. Two.

Three. Four. Five.

When we lay this wad on, old Clancy.

The boss is going to have him by the balls.

I don't think old Clancy will take the money.

Everyone says he's an honest cop.

If he don't take the dough, I'm gonna give him a blow.

Ha ha!

A pair of knuckles.

Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What are you and your friends up to?

We brought you a little present from the boss.

Here.

No way. You're wasting your time.

No. That's where you're wrong.

You're wasting our time.

Now we're going to waste you!

Ow!

Now you're going to find out why they call me Cigar Face.

Aaahh!

Get him Nipples, yeah!

Come on, now. Come on!

What the matter, Clancy?

Get him!

Honest cops are all alike! A bunch of fuckin' fagots!

What do you say, shall I blow his nose off or what?

Boss says if he doesn't want to cooperate, we should make love to him.

Well, whatever the boss says, goes.

No... No, no, please! Please, oh God, please.

No, no. No, please. Come on. I've got a family!

Say your prayers, copper!

Holy shit!


Could that be the, O'Shanahee boy back from school.

No! No!

Grrr!

Ow!

Aaahhh!

Aaaahhhh!

Aaahhh!


I'll get you for this, you monster faggot!

Grrrr!

Don't worry. Don't worry, I won't hurt you.

I don't know what came over me.

I just couldn't control myself.

I've never done anything like this before.

Bye.

Quiet!

Quiet!

Now, you will raise your hand and you will ask one question at a time.

Exactly where did it happen?

It happened in Shinbone Alley.

These three guys were going to kill me, see.

And then of nowhere comes this thing, this monster, I never seen anything like it before.

Because it took the three guys and threw them away.

I don't know what it was but, but God bless him, 'cause he saved my life.

Alright, boys.

Chief, what have you got?

That alleyway was the most gruesome sight I have ever seen.

Gruesome, huh?

Have you ever met my mother-in-law?

Now, that's gruesome What about Cigar Face?

Have we gotten anything out of him yet?

He must still be in shock. All he does is sit around all day babbling about some seven foot monster.

Yeah, and the only other clue we've got are those mops, stuffed in their mouths.

Mops... It must be some sort of political statement. Do we have any suspects?

Nah, the whole town is suspect. Knuckles and Nipples were hated by everyone.

Not by me. They were our two best producers.

Speaking of which, I almost forgot.

The boys made their rounds last night and here is the collection.

Yeah, and it would've been double if it wasn't for this devastating tragic turn of events.

Yeah.


Aah!

Slug, will you stop with that Elephant Man bullshit.

I am not an animal. I'm Melvin, the mop boy.

Who is it? It's me, Ma. Melvin.

Aah!

Ma? Ah, Ma!


Tom. Tom, is he dead?

Hey, Tom.

Yeah, over here. Tom, the zoning board has designated the old Rawlins Chemical Plant as the new toxic waste dump site.

Now that's contaminated, but valuable waterfront property.

We think it's a crime to let that property go to waste as a dump.

You are aware, of course, that that would place our new toxic chemical dump just 20 feet from the reservoir for the entire area.

Gentlemen, I think we have a deal.

Here to better living through chemistry.


Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred, what's wrong with this thing!?

Alright, everybody!

Drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out!

Rico, get the cash register!

Okay, you got it!

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

We are the entertainment for this afternoon.

Now on shotgun, we've got my man Leroy.

On cash register we've got magic fingers, Rico!

That's me.

And last but not least, yours truly Frank.

On the stick.

Shut up!

Now if you all do just what we tell you, you just might, just might get your asses home all intact.

Look who we got here! A little mother, and a littler baby.

Do you like Mexican food, little baby?

Well, How'd you like to have this hot tamale shoved down your throat?

What are you looking at?

Hey, Frank, teeny boppers!

You like video games, teeny boppers?

Your mom give you quarters for video games?

Well, cough them up!

Hey, this one's cute, Frank.

Look how cute she is, Frank.

Say, Leroy, I think she likes you.

Hey, why don't you leave her alone?

We'll give you our money, if you want money.

Hey, look, pal, why don't you just let everyone go and keep me as a hostage, huh?

Huh?

That's an idea, ainft it, Frank?

Yeah. No, thanks.

Shut up! It was self defense.

Yo, Leroy, check out this pretty little thing, and the bitch got a dog.

Hey, wait a minute. I think this bitch is blind.

Are you sure she is blind, Frank?

Yeah, the bitch is blind.

Ow!

Hey, what are you doing? Don't do that!

Let go of me!

Yo, Leroy, you want to walk this damn dog!

Yeah, sure, Frank.

Gary?

Harry! What have you done to my dog?

I didn't do anything to the dog, but listen...

Gary! Gary!

You wanna meet my friend, Ben?

We's make everything alright. Just let me introduce you to Ben.

Ben who!?

Ben Dover!

Hey, Leroy, you know I always did want to cornhole me a blind bitch.

Ow!

I'm going to enjoy this!

Yeah, it's going to be nice.

What the shit!?

Okay, you motherfucker!

Aah! Aahh!


No, no, no! We were only kidding!

What's the matter? You can't take a joke?

We were only kidding.

Please, no! You can't do this to me!

No! Please! Please, stop it!

Stop, no! No!

No! We were, we were only kidding!

Grrr! Grrrrr!


Please, please don't touch me!

Please!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you.

Are you okay?

Yes, I think so. My dog!

Those men killed my dog! They shot my dog!

Could you take me out of here, please?

Please. I'll never make it by myself without my dog.

Please.

Okay, alright, but come on, let's go out the back way.

Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you. Come on, I'll help you up.


Don't trip over the step, Melvin. What?

I'd better get my cane.

Why don't you have a seat?

There's a place for you on your left.

Right over there.

Ow!

Would like you like something to eat?

Uh-huh.

Is peanut butter and jelly, okay?

Uh-huh.

Good.

Grr!

Now, boys, what have we got here?

Looks like we got a nice crispy taco supreme over here, chief.

Looks like I got a a strawberry thickshake over here.

What have you got?

I've got a pizza with the works to go, Jimmy.

Chief, it was unbelievable. It had an eye up over here, His nose was twisted to the side.

Huh?

It was the strangest thing I ever saw in my life.

Sure. But it was a pink elephant, too.

I'm telling ya, these guys were going to kill us.

It saved our lives. It was a hero.

A hero!

This guy is drunk.

Would you mind if I touched your face?

No!

No? Why not? I won't hurt you, Melvin.

It's not that. It's just that I have a rash on my face.

A rash? You mean acne?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it. It's nothing to worry about but I wouldn't want you to touch it.

You shouldn't be ashamed of acne.

Everybody's had acne at one time or another.

Hey, I know. Would you like me to tell your fortune?

Huh?

I read palms. Give me your hand.

What big hands you have.

I bet you're very strong.

Hmm. Let me see. You're going to have a lot of good things coming too you in the future.

You're going to become a very important man.

Let me see your other hand.

Grr? Grrrrr!

Oops! Sorry.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

With us this afternoon is, Dr. Mertyn Snodberger from the Garden State State Cerebral Reflex Research Center.

Ah, can you tell me, sir, is it true that the monster only attacks bad people?

Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil people have been destroyed by the monster, I would have to answer your question. Ja.

From traces that have been found on the scenes of the crime, and analyzed, we have determined that whatever it is, this monster has been exposed to toxic chemical waste.

Achoo!

It is also highly probable that this monster may have developed a very basic instinct which draws him, or should I say, commands him to destroy evil.

That new camera really captures the moment!

I know. The reds are so red! Really get me hot!

Mr. Mayor?

Yeah?

I got todayfs receipts from the drug division. Ha ha!

Good boy, Dennis. Put it over there on the table.

Bookie will get to it later.


Grr!

Aahhh!


Grrr!


Listen, you asshole, how many times are you going to pull that Elephant Man joke?

Grrr! Aahhh!

Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass!

This monster may have developed a very basic instinct, to destroy evil.

Hey, you! In the alley!

Hey, knucklehead! How about some nice young poontang, huh?

No! No, take me home! No, take me home!

No, you lied to me!

You said you were going to take me to see the David Bowie concert!

He's not David Bowie!

Only twelve years old, and only twelve dollars!

Boys! Boys! Help!

Help, boys! Help!

Aaahh!


And you can tell all your scum friends that things are going to change in this town!

I'm not just another pretty face!

Grrr!


Two prime candidates.

Yeah.

Rack 'em up!

Grrr!

Wow! Wow!

Grrr!

Aahh!


I hear the monster is so big.

Well, I bet he's got his eye on me.

For your information, everyone knows Monster Prefer Blondes!

There's a feeling going around town that this monster is here to protect the people.

And the jail's are becoming overcrowded.

This monster has cleaned the streets of every criminal.

Almost all the criminals. He hasn't gotten us yet.

What the hell are we going to do about this monster, eh?

I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to kill him.

Because if we don't kill him, he's going to kill us.

Grrr!

I owe you for the other night, monster fagot!

Grrr!

So now we're going to give you six new assholes, compliments of me, Cigar Face!

Grrr!

Grr!

Boom! You should've seen it! His teeth was everywhere!

They looked like Chiclets!

Hey, what are you doing, blondie?

I'm waiting for my boyfriend.

She's waiting for her boyfriend.

Well, maybe I'm going to be your boyfriend, baby!

Hey, stop that! My boyfriend won't like that!

Maybe we'll have to take care of that wimp of a boyfriend, huh?

Melvin! Melvin!

Melvin!

Melvin!?

Melvin!

Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys?

Aah!

Why, Melvin, you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person.

You're so muscular. It's been two years since I touched a man.

What are you doing to me? I've never felt like this before.


Murderer!

Aaahhh! Grrrrrr!

I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget!

Aaahh!

No!

Sorry, madam.

Open up please, open up!

Help me! Oh, please open up! Help me!

Grrr!

Aaahh!

Going up?

Let me out Let me out! Please, someone help me!

Aaahh!

Aaahhh!


Aah! She's stressing me, Slug! Julie is stressing me, Slug!

I can't take it! I cannot take this, Slug!

She's not here with car and I've got to drive.

I gotta drive, Slug! I gotta drive!

Alright, already. Alright. Will you chill out?

Hey, how would you like to be behind the wheel of a beautiful Japanese import?

Oh, that would be good!

Hi, can we help?

Oh, you sure can.

Thank you so much. Oh, it's so nice to have you boys like you here in the neighborhood.

Aahh!

Aahhh!

Oh, what a feeling, today!

Did you see her face when I punched her?

I beat that old lady like a dog!

Slug, there's that thing again!

Let's get it!

Shit! he's on the roof! He's on the roof!

Get him off! He's going to kill both of us!

Swerve the car, Bozo! Swerve the car!

I can't control the car!

He's still there, swerve it again! Swerve it again!

I can't get him off the car, Slug! I can't get him off!

Slug, I'm going to die!

Take the wheel, Slug! Take the wheel!

I'm stressed!

Ah, what?

What?

Aaaahhh!

Get out of here!

No!

See how you like this face, huh, Bozo?

You know who this is? It's Melvin, that's who it is!


Hey, hey, hey, what about the kid on the bike, Bozo?

How does it feel to hit a kid on a bike? Feels good!

I've got problems! I've got problems! I'm a stressed person!

No, no!


Give me the wheel!

Just give me the wheel! You'll going to kill both of us!

You want the wheel? Here, take the wheel!

Aaahhh!

Grrr! Ha ha!


Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson!

Mrs Haskel, how are you?

Fine, thank you.

How are the boys?

Those boys are such terrors. Especially Scott.

He took his best girl out last night and he came home with these stains, all over his pants.

I don't know what they are.

I don't either.

Do you think you can get them out?

My car! They're putting a ticket on my car!

Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Donft' move. Stay right where you are.

I'll be right back.

You can't give me a ticket! You can't give me a ticket! I have to go to a funeral...

Hey, who do you think you're pushing?

What do you want?

Stay away from me! Stay away from me!

Help! Help! Help! Help!

Stay away from me! Stay away from me! Help!

Help! Help!

What the...?

Put me down! I didn't do anything!

No Dickie here. No washie.

Please, don't give me a ticket! Please, don't give me a ticket!

Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what we can do with these stains.

Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel, what are you doing back there?

You know customers are not allowed on that machine.

Mrs. Haskel.

Aah!


Melvin, is that you?

Melvin?

Who's there?

Who is that?

It's me, Sarah. Only me.

You scared me. Is something wrong?

Everything is wrong.

What the matter? What have I done?

No, it's not what you've done. It's what I've done.

I think I'm out of control.

You see, you're blind, Sara. You don't know who I am.

I'm really the monster hero you heard about.

And everyday I go out and I mash people.

I tear them apart and I can't stop.

You better move back to your apartment.

I don't think its safe for you to be around me.

Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave you now. I love you, Melvin.

I wish we could go somewhere.

Yeah, some far away place. Where there are no people.

Where I can't kill anybody.

What about that spot near Millers farm that you told me about?

Where you used to go to be alone.

You said that was a very special place.

Well, we could try it.

Do you think I look inconspicuous enough?

I'll feel better when we get to the campsite.

Mayor, Mayor!

Chief, look. Our monster made a little bit of a mistake.

You can't go around dry cleaning little old ladies the public won't stand for it.

We can kill him now with no flack from anybody.

Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor, That old lady was hardly a pillar of the community.

In fact, she can a head of an international white slavery ring.

Shit...

And she had a police record a mile long.

We've got to cover this up.

If it ever gets out to the press we're sunk.

And I want you to do me a favor. Kill that bastard for me! You got it?

Kill him!

Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please.

Mayor Peter Bellgoode will now take questions from the ladies and gentlemen of the press.

Uh, Miss Fink.

What your administration stance in regards to this alleged monster?

Is he a menace or a miracle?

He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink. Right now therefs a massive search underway to find the thing and destroy it.

Yes, Mr. Leonard?

Instead of trying to kill him, shouldn't we be trying to capture him, bring him in, study him?

It is not a human being. It is an it. You kill an it.

Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor.

Yes, Mr. Williams?

The victim killed in the dry cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel.

What's her background? What do we know about her?

Mrs. Haskel was a member of our community for over 30 years.

Also a member of the PTA. She had two fine sons.

Everyone that know her, loved her.

Question! Question! Are you certain, Mr. Mayor, that the chief Himmel and the police department can handle the situation in Tromaville?

I have the utmost regard for the chief, and his department.

As I've said, he's conducting a massive search for the monster right now.

I want this thing found and I want this thing killed!

The mayor has notified the governor and he's prepared to give us all the assistance we need.

Should we break out the heavy weapons?

Come on, boys.

I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for the monster!

Don't you think you're being a bit hasty?

Clancy, you will do as you're told or you'll find yourself walking a beat in the city dump!

Now I want this thing shot and I want you to shoot to kill!

That monster saved my life. He's done a lot of good for this town.

Why are they going to kill him?

We should speak out! Do something!

Roy, why don't you do something! Speak out!

You want me to speak up? If I speak up, I lose my business license. If I lose my business license, I'm dead. Do you want another shake?

No! I want them not to kill the monster.

I want us to do something!

Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid.

People can't go around doing things just because they're right.

We have to leave these decisions up to the mayor and the police chief. That's right.

But why would the mayor want to destroy something that does more good than the entire police force?

No offense.

I know how you feel, Johnny, he saved my life too.

But us, little guys, are just not qualified to make these decisions.

That's why he's the mayor.

Right?

We're gonna find that bastard, now. Come on. Come on, girl!

Heel. Come on.

My first day on the force and I'm chasing monsters!

The dogs got a scent!

I'm missing the ball game for this bullshit!

We ain't going to find no monster out here, all we're going to find is a bunch of mosquitoes biting my fuckin' asshole!

Shut your fuckin' mouth!

Hold on a second, I think I see something.

You don't see nothing but a couple of campers humping each other. Come on, let's go home!

Holy shit! It's the monster!

Oh, sure!

And he's got a bimbo with him!

Oh, he's got your Mama with him!

And she's wearing a bikini! Wow!

Wait, let me see!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Come on, let's go tell the chief! I'm going to get me a medal for this!

Mayor! Mayor! Mayor!

The monster has been sighted in a field near Miller farm.

That's wonderful!

I'll have the National Guard meet us out there in full force.

You leave now!

Ja!

Hello, Mr. Governor, how are you, sir?

Fine, just fine.

Governor, I need your help, sir.

It's about this monster that's been terrorizing my town.

The local authorities can no longer handle the situation.

That's why I need your help.

The National Guard?

I was hoping you'd say that, so we can kill it.

Capture it? Well, I was thinking the very same thing.

Yes, capture would be fine. Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor.

Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir.

Capture, my ass!

I don't like the way this is going sargent.

I know.

The little people think he's done a lot for this town.

Oh, my God! They're calling in the National Guard!

Oh, look at all those men!

Oh, I hope they don't hurt the monster.

Monster, they aught to give him a medal, not kill him.

They're going to nuke him! They're going to nuke the monster!

They found the monster! He's at the Miller Farm!

They're going to kill him!

Holy cow! We can't let him die!

Let's go!


Out of the way!

Stand aside.

Tent's in the clearing, Mayor. My troops have it surrounded.

We think he's still asleep.

Fine, we'll move in and wipe him out.

You can't do that, Mayor. I've rechecked with headquarters They want us to take him alive, not kill him.

Your in charge, Pete. Come on, give the orders!

Mr. mayor, please, please, think of what you are doing!

There's an innocent girl in there with him!

Just one life for the whole town!

But, Mr Mayor, you don't understand!

He saved my life! He doesn't deserve to die!

Shut up!

Now you don't understand the seriousness of this situation here, boy!

How dare you discuss my son's life or death like this.

I'm Melvin's mother. He's a good boy.

He's never hurt anybody!

Silence! Silence! The orders have been given!

It is our destiny to follow the orders!

You in the tent, come out with your hands up!

You are surrounded!

Grrr?

The minute he comes out, kill him.

I'm coming with you. No, you're not.

You've got to stay here.

No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero. I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it!

Don't shoot him! Don't shoot!

If you want to shoot my son, you'll have to shoot me first!

Okay, lads. Get these kids out of there!

It's okay, Mom. Kids.

Shoot it!

Run! Run! Grrr!

Fire!

No, I won't do it.

These kids are right.

Captain, have your men fire!

No, I can't.

Shoot them! You shoot!

Fire!

Melvin!

Alright, I'll do it myself!

No!

You touch me again and I'll kill you!

Get away from me!

Get away from me!

No! Ah, get away from me!

Leave me alone! Look, I'll make you a deal!

I'll give you 10%, anything, just leave alone!

Grr!

Don't hurt me! I'm too young to die!

Please don't hurt me!

Please!

You fat slob, let's see if you have any guts!

Aaahhh!

Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste.

Melvin!

Sarah!

Melvin!

Sara!

Melvin! Ah!

Sarah!

Melvin!

Sarah!

Melvin?

Sarah!


So, Melvin, the monster hero, rid Tromaville of all of it's evils, so the good citizens could live their lives in peace and happiness.

And the next time you're in danger or in need to help, look to the horizon and maybe, just maybe...