The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story (2014) Script

[***]

WHAT IF NO ONE SHOWS UP?

THEY WILL. RIGHT?

I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE BEING CANCELED AGAIN.

IT'S GONNA GO GREAT. YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.

YOU ALWAYS THINK EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE GREAT, AND THEN IT'S NOT.

DUDE, LOOK AT WHERE YOU'RE AT.

YOU GOTTA ENJOY IT.

I ALMOST HOPE PEOPLE DON'T SHOW UP.

[DUSTIN]: GUYS...

WE'LL BE FINE.

GUYS...

WHATEVER HAPPENS, WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, RIGHT?

-GUYS! -WHAT?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

[DISTANT SCREAMING AND CHEERING]

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

[LAUGHING] OH, MY GOD...

[FANS SCREAMING]

[***]

SHE JUMPED ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR.

ZACK!

DID SHE JUST JUMP?

[DELIRIOUS SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING IN DISBELIEF]

[DEAFENING SCREAMS]


TIME OUT. [EVERYTHING FALLS SILENT]

NOT BAD.

GUESS THEY LIKE US.

IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS, THOUGH.

SAVED BY THE BELL WAS A WILD RIDE.

WE ALMOST DIDN'T--

WAIT A SECOND.

JUST STOP, OKAY?

WHOA, WHOA, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

YEAH, I CAN.

THIS TIME, IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.

THIS IS MY STORY, WHAT REALLY HAPPENED BEHIND THE SCENES OF AMERICA'S FAVORITE SATURDAY MORNING SHOW.

AT LEAST, IT'S THE WAY I REMEMBER IT, AND I WAS THERE FROM THE VERY FIRST EPISODE TO THE VERY LAST.

[THE GO-GOS' "WE GOT THE BEAT" PLAYS]

* SEE THE PEOPLE WALKING DOWN THE STREET *

* FALL IN LINE JUST WATCHING ALL THEIR FEET *

* THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY WANT TO GO *

* BUT THEY'RE WALKING IN TIME

* THEY GOT THE BEAT THEY GOT THE BEAT *

* THEY GOT THE BEAT...

[DUSTIN NARRATES]: THE TRUTH IS, SAVED BY THE BELL WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE STUDENTS AT FIRST.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE TEACHERS.

[BRANDON]: MISS BLISS TAUGHT MY EIGHT GRADE HISTORY CLASS, BUT SHE WAS MORE THAN A TEACHER.

SHE...

WE COULD TALK TO HER, ABOUT ANYTHING.

SHE REALLY MADE EVERY KID FEEL LIKE SHE BELIEVED IN US.

A SHOW ABOUT A SCHOOL, THE KIND OF SCHOOL THAT WE WISH WE'D ALL GONE TO.

THAT'S WHOLESOME AND SAFE.

MM-HMM, IT'S A SHOW THAT OUR KIDS COULD WATCH.

THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY COULD WATCH TOGETHER.

THAT'S GREAT, BRANDON.

EVERYBODY HAS A TEACHER THEY LOVED.

MAYBE WE SET IT IN THE MIDWEST, SOMETHING ALL-AMERICAN?

LIKE INDIANA.

HAVE THEY EVER SET A SHOW IN INDIANA?

WHY WOULD THEY?

I DON'T KNOW, THE WHOLE CLASSROOM, TEENAGE THING, I'M NOT SURE I'M THE RIGHT GUY FOR THIS.

TRUST ME, PETER, I HAVE A VERY GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS SHOW.

* THAT'S WHEN WE FALL IN LINE *

* 'CAUSE WE GOT THE BEAT PICK IT UP, LET'S GO.

OKAY.

OKAY...

HEY, DUSTIN!

THEY BROUGHT YOU BACK IN FOR SCREECH, HUH?

-YUP. -FOR THE SIXTH TIME.

HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO FIGURE THIS OUT?

THEY JUST WANT TO SEE SOME OF THE ZACKS AND SCREECHES TOGETHER.

I'M SURE IT WON'T BE TOO LONG.

BETTER NOT BE.

IT'S NOT HER FAULT.

IT'S JUST A LOT OF TROUBLE, THAT'S ALL, HOUR DRIVE BOTH WAYS, AND I'M MISSING WORK AGAIN.

I'M SORRY.

I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE THIS.

WE'RE ALL MAKING SACRIFICES FOR THIS ACTING DREAM OF YOURS.

I KNOW.

SAME LECTURE EVERY TIME WE WENT ON AN AUDITION.

BUT TO BE FAIR, IT WASN'T LIKE ANY OF US REALIZED THE COURSE OF OUR ENTIRE LIVES WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE FOREVER.

* DO THE WATUSI JUST GIVE US A CHANCE *

* THAT'S WHEN WE FALL IN LINE *

* 'CAUSE WE GOT THE BEAT WE GOT THE BEAT *

* WE GOT THE BEAT *

* WE GOT IT! *

* WE GOT THE BEAT *

* WE GOT THE BEAT *

[CLEARS THROAT AWKWARDLY]

HEY...

YOU'RE READING FOR ZACK, RIGHT?

UH, YEAH.

I'M IN FOR SCREECH.

WANNA RUN THE SCENE TOGETHER?

NO, THAT'S NOT REALLY MY PROCESS.

OH, YOU HAVE A PROCESS.

DO YOU MIND?

YOU WANNA RUN LINES?

YEAH, SURE.

LARK VOORHIES?

THEY'RE READY FOR YOU.

* THEY GOT THE BEAT KIDS GOT THE BEAT *

COMING?

YEAH, RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

BE RIGHT BACK.

SO I TOLD HER, HONEY, THIS IS NOT GONNA FLY WITH ME.

WHEN I VOLUNTEERED TO BE A CANDY STRIPER, I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT ACTUALLY MEANT YOU HAD TO WEAR STRIPES.

[CHUCKLING]

[QUIETLY]: SHE'S READING THE LISA TURTLE SCENE.

YEAH, SHE'S GREAT, ISN'T SHE?

LISA TURTLE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A JEWISH AMERICAN PRINCESS.

NOT ANYMORE SHE ISN'T.

[SNAPS FINGERS] DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.

* THEY GOT THE BEAT THEY GOT THE BEAT *

* THEY GOT THE BEAT

* YEAH, THEY GOT THE BEAT *

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?

[SCOFFS] HAVE I EVER LED YOU WRONG, SCREECH?

WELL, THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME YOU TOLD ME IT WAS SAFE TO EAT THOSE RED CHILI PEPPERS.

OKAY, FINE, MAYBE ONE TIME.

AND THEN THERE WAS THE TIME YOU SAID IT WAS OKAY TO STICK MY FINGER IN THAT LIGHT SOCKET.

THAT WAS A BIT SHOCKING.

[LAUGHING]

YOU KNOW, SCREECH, I WORRY ABOUT YOU SOMETIMES.

YOU REALLY HAVE TO STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE.

[LAUGHTER]

[DUSTIN]: THAT'S WHERE ZACK AND SCREECH GOT THEIR START.

NOT ON SAVED BY THE BELL, BUT ON A SHOW CALLED "GOOD MORNING, MISS BLISS."

EVEN THOUGH WE STARTED OFF AT NBC, THE NETWORK PASSED ON THE SHOW ORIGINALLY.

THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE END OF IT.

BUT A NEW CABLE NETWORK ONLY A FEW YEARS OLD DECIDED TO GIVE US A CHANCE...

THE DISNEY CHANNEL.

[YOUNG MC'S "PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE" PLAYS]

COOL.

* NOW, AS I GET TO SCHOOL I HEAR THE LATE BELL RINGING *

* RUNNING THROUGH THE HALL I HEAR THE GLEE CLUB SINGING *

* GET TO THE OFFICE I CAN HARDLY SPEAK *

* 'CAUSE IT'S THE THIRD LATE PASS *

* THAT I GOT THIS WEEK

* SO TO MY FIRST CLASS I RUN AND DON'T WALK *

* ALL I HEAR IS MY SNEAKERS AND THE SCRATCH OF THE CHALK *

* AND WHEN I GET TO THE ROOM I HEAR THE TEACHER SAY *

* MR. YOUNG, I'M HAPPY THAT YOU COULD JOIN US TODAY *

* I TRY TO SIT DOWN SO I CAN TAKE SOME NOTES *

* BUT I CAN'T READ WHAT THE KID NEXT TO ME WROTE *

* AND IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE MY MORNING COMPLETE *

* AS I TRY TO GET UP I FIND THERE'S GUM ON MY SEAT *

* AND WITH THE SEAT STUCK TO ME I RAISE MY HAND *

* AND SAY, EXCUSE ME BUT CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM, MA'AM... *

DUSTIN!

HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR DRESSING ROOM YET?

I HAVE MY OWN DRESSING ROOM?

DUDE, I DON'T EVEN HAVE MY OWN ROOM AT HOME.

OH, CHECK THIS OUT!

HEY, LARK, PRETTY COOL, HUH?

YEAH. IT'S NICE.

MARK-PAUL, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

UH... NOWHERE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO REVIEW YOUR LINES, MAKE SURE YOU'RE PREPARED FOR THE TABLE READ.

I DID.

HI, I'M PAULINE, MARK-PAUL'S MOM.

HEY. NICE TO MEET YOU.

WE WON'T BE LONG, I PROMISE.

15 MINUTES. IT'S YOUR FIRST REHEARSAL.

IS YOUR MOM ASIAN?

PART INDONESIAN.

NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU EXPECT, HUH?

I DON'T THINK ANYONE TOLD YOUR HAIR IT WAS PART INDONESIAN.

ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE UP HERE?

I DON'T KNOW.

* MY BOOKS ARE REAL HEAVY I WALK AND I'M DRAGGIN' IT *

* NO SCHOOL LUNCH NEXT WEEK I'M BROWN-BAGGING IT *

* FORGET CLASS I'MMA SHOOT SOME BALL *

* WITH A LATE PASS I GOT NO TROUBLE AT ALL *

* BUT THEN THE NURSE WALKS UP AND SAYS, "WHADDAYA KNOW *

* IT'S OFF TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE YOU GO" *

[***]

OH, HEY, DUSTIN, BY THE WAY...

YOU'RE IT!

[***]

* RECESS!

HAYLEY, THIS IS DENNIS HASKINS, OUR PRINCIPAL BELDING.

DENNIS, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MISS BLISS, HAYLEY MILLS.

[SIGHS NERVOUSLY]

I'M A BIG FAN, MISS MILLS.

HAYLEY, PLEASE.

I HAD SUCH A CRUSH ON YOU BACK WHEN YOU DID THE PARENT TRAP.

BOTH OF YOU, ACTUALLY.

[GIGGLING]

WELL, I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE A LOT OF FUN.

I HEAR YOU'RE A VERY TALENTED YOUNG MAN.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN TALKING TO MY MOM.

[CHUCKLING]

ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUST READ THROUGH THE SCENE ONCE, OKAY?

I'LL BE HONEST.

I AM SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING EXPULSION.

PRINCIPAL BELDING, I KNOW THAT IF YOU GIVE ZACK ONE MORE CHANCE, HE'LL PROVE HOW SORRY HE IS.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO SET THE FIRE ALARM--

QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!

[QUACKING, KIDS GIGGLING]

[GIGGLES AND LAUGHTER]

DUSTIN! SHH!

SORRY.

QUACK.

[LAUGHTER]

DUSTIN...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT KID?

HE'S AWESOME.

[DUSTIN]: IT WAS MY FIRST TIME BEING PART OF A BIG SERIES, AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS THE YOUNGEST BY FAR, IT WAS LIKE FINDING A FAMILY YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD, OR GOING TO A SCHOOL WHERE NOBODY MADE FUN OF YOU, OR CALLED YOU A DORK.

I'D NEVER BEEN HAPPIER, AND I HOPED IT WOULD LAST FOREVER.

[PETER]: UNFORTUNATELY, THE DISNEY CHANNEL HAS DECIDED TO CANCEL MISS BLISS.

I'M SORRY.

I KNOW YOU ALL PUT YOUR HEARTS INTO THIS SHOW.

I'M AFRAID THIS WEEK'S GOING TO BE OUR LAST EPISODE.

AND JUST LIKE THAT, IT WAS OVER.

WE WERE DONE.

OF COURSE, AT THAT POINT, WE COULDN'T KNOW THIS WAS JUST OUR FIRST TIME TO BE CANCELED, AND IT WASN'T GOING TO BE OUR LAST.

THE FRUSTRATING PART IS WE WERE JUST STARTING TO REALLY GEL.

WE NEEDED MORE TIME.

MY DAUGHTER REALLY LIKED THE SHOW.

THE THING IS, SHE DIDN'T CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THE TEACHERS.

WHAT SHE REALLY LOVED WERE THE KIDS.

WHAT IF WE BROUGHT THE SHOW BACK TO NBC?

MADE IT PART OF OUR SATURDAY MORNING LINE-UP?

BUT SATURDAY MORNINGS ARE FOR CARTOONS.

THAT'S WHAT CHILDREN WANT TO WATCH.

THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S ALL WE'VE GIVEN THEM TO WATCH.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS WHO WANT MORE THAN CARTOONS?

THE 11 YEAR-OLDS, THE 12 YEAR-OLDS?

THE KIDS THAT AREN'T CHILDREN ANYMORE, BUT THEY'RE NOT TEENS EITHER.

YEAH, FORGET THE TEACHERS, MAKE IT ABOUT THE KIDS.

NOBODY HAS EVER DONE A LIVE-ACTION COMEDY WITH JUST KIDS.

EXACTLY.

DO YOU THINK ENOUGH PEOPLE WILL WATCH IT IF IT DOESN'T HAVE AN ADULT STAR?

KIDS DON'T CARE ABOUT ADULT STARS.

THEY JUST WANT TO SEE THEMSELVES.

WE COULD MAKE IT MORE FUN.

WE'LL MOVE THE SCHOOL TO CALIFORNIA.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO GO TO SCHOOL CLOSE TO THE BEACH, DON'T THEY?

IT'S RISKY, BUT IT'S KIND OF EXCITING TOO.

YOU'LL HAVE YOUR WORK CUT OUT FOR YOU.

WE'VE GOT TO TRY TO FIND A WAY TO REACH AN AUDIENCE THAT NO ONE'S REALLY TAPPED INTO BEFORE.

I'VE GOT IT!

WE'LL CALL IT... "WHEN THE BELL RINGS!"

HMM.

HEY, BUDDY, HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY?

TERRIBLE.

AWFUL. HUMILIATING.

SAME AS ALWAYS.

YEAH, WELL, YOU CAN'T LET PEOPLE PUSH YOU AROUND.

YOU'VE GOT TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

RIGHT.

AND THEN YOU CAN COME PICK ME UP IN THE HOSPITAL AFTERWARDS.

MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED READING ALL THOSE FUNNY BOOKS AND YOU DID SOMETHING, LIKE...

PLAYED A SPORT.

HOW ABOUT BASEBALL?

THAT MIGHT WORK.

IT WON'T WORK. NOTHING WILL.

WELL, YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

YEAH, THIS IS DUSTIN, WHO'S THIS?

REALLY?

OH MY-- YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT.

OF COURSE!

YEAH, HE'S RIGHT HERE, ONE SEC.

IT'S THE SHOW, THEY'RE GOING TO BRING IT BACK, AND THIS TIME, IT'S GONNA BE ALL ABOUT SCREECH AND ZACK.

MAYBE WE'LL BECOME ONE OF THOSE GREAT COMEDY TEAMS, LIKE LENNY AND SQUIGGY.

AND NO MORE SCHOOL!

YEAH.

SOUNDS GOOD.

OKAY.

AS SOON AS THEY'RE DONE SEEING THE SLATERS, WE'LL BE CALLING IN THE KELLYS.

[***]

YOU'RE HERE FOR KELLY TOO?

I GUESS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO, LIKE, HATE EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING, RIGHT?

WELL, I PROMISE NOT TO HATE YOU IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO HATE ME.

DEAL.

I'M TIFFANI-AMBER.

ELIZABETH.

YOU KNOW, YOU ACTUALLY LOOK REALLY FAMILIAR.

HAVE WE MET BEFORE?

I DON'T KNOW.

[GASPS]

DO YOU TAKE CLASSES AT WESTSIDE BALLET?

NO.

ARE YOU A DANCER?

YEAH, DANCING IS MY PASSION.

I ACTUALLY GOT TO GO TO NEW YORK AND TRAIN LAST SUMMER.

IT WAS AMAZING.

I BET YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL DANCER.

OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE A MODEL, AREN'T YOU?

THAT'S WHY I RECOGNIZE YOU.

I SAW THAT PHOTO SPREAD YOU DID.

YOU'RE THE COVER GIRL MODEL OF THE YEAR.

THAT'S YOU, ISN'T IT?

YEAH, THE THING IS, I REALLY WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME AS AN ACTRESS.

I KNOW. I FEEL THE SAME WAY.

I JUST WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

EXACTLY.

OH, I HATE THIS.

-WHAT? -YOU'RE SO NICE.

IT FEELS UNFAIR THAT WE HAVE TO GO UP AGAINST EACH OTHER.

I KNOW.

[SIGHING HEAVILY]

A.C. SLATER IS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR JOHN TRAVOLTA CHARACTER, ITALIAN, A REAL LADIES' MAN.

JUST GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS KID.

AND THE GIRLS ARE GONNA LOVE HIM TOO.

HE'S LATINO.

HE'S PERFECT.

[***]

READY WHEN YOU ARE.

WE'RE UP.

[LAUGHING]

[***]

SO WE'RE ELIMINATING THIS GIRL, JENNIE GARTH?

I LIKE HER, BUT I THINK WE'VE GOT BETTER CHOICES.

LEAVES US WITH TIFFANI-AMBER AND ELIZABETH.

TIFFANI-AMBER WON THE MISS JUNIOR AMERICA BEAUTY PAGEANT, AND SHE WAS A COVER GIRL MODEL.

SHE'S NEVER ACTED BEFORE, THOUGH.

I JUST DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S READY.

ELIZABETH IS A COUPLE OF YEARS OLDER, A LITTLE MORE EXPERIENCED, AND SHE'S GOT MORE RANGE.

IT'S A COMEDY ABOUT KIDS.

HOW MUCH RANGE DO YOU NEED?

IT'S SHOOTING IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.

THAT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE.

TIFFANI-AMBER SEEMS MORE LIKE KELLY, BUT THEY'RE BOTH GREAT.

THAT'S RIGHT, THEY ARE.

SO WHY NOT USE BOTH OF THEM?

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THREE GUYS AND TWO GIRLS.

THEN WE'LL CHANGE IT.

WE'LL WRITE A NEW CHARACTER SPECIFICALLY FOR ELIZABETH.

[SIGHS] OF COURSE YOU WILL.

[***]

I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE--

I KNOW! I KNOW.

SEE YOU LATER.

[***]

OH, HI, MRS. GOSSELAAR.

WHERE'S MARK-PAUL?

DOWN IN THE REHEARSAL STUDIO.

YOU'D BETTER HURRY, YOU'LL BE LATE.

[***]

[NEEDLE SCRATCHES ON RECORD]

[EVERYONE CHATTING]

...AS SOON AS I GET MY LICENSE...

[CHATTING]

HEY, MARK-PAUL.

HEY.

SO, WHEN YOU GO IN FOR YOUR TEST, DO THEY TRY AND TRICK YOU OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

NO, MAN, IT'S EASY. YOU'LL ACE IT.

WHEN DO YOU GO IN?

A FEW MONTHS.

[LARK]: YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

MEMORIZING'S NOT THAT HARD.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO MESS IT UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

WE CAN ALL RUN LINES TOGETHER.

IF EVERYONE COULD FIND A SEAT, WE'LL GET STARTED.

[CLEARING THROAT AWKWARDLY]

DUSTIN...

I THINK YOU'RE ON THIS SIDE.

I KNOW YOU'RE ALL EXCITED TO GET STARTED.

WE'VE GOT SEVERAL NEW FACES.

WELCOME.

SO THIS NEW VERSION OF THE SHOW IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

WE'LL BE CENTERING AROUND THE STUDENTS...

PARTICULARLY AROUND ZACK.

HE WILL BE OUR WINDOW INTO THE WORLD OF BAYSIDE HIGH.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT SCREECH?

[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY]

I GUESS YOU'RE JUST NOT BLOND ENOUGH, KID.

NOW, I KNOW FOR MOST OF YOU, THIS IS YOUR FIRST SERIES, SO I WANT TO MAKE A FEW RULES CLEAR.

THIS IS A JOB, AND I EXPECT YOU ALL TO BEHAVE ACCORDINGLY.

NO SWEARING, NO DISRUPTIONS WHILE WE'RE WORKING, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I NEED YOU TO KEEP YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL.

I UNDERSTAND, YOU'RE TEENAGERS, YOU'RE GROWING UP.

BUT WHEN YOU'RE HERE, YOU MUST BE ACTORS FIRST.

I HAVE THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF EXPECTATION FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.

BUT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET ME DOWN.

CLEARLY, PETER DIDN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT REAL TEENAGERS.

OKAY, HERE WE GO, WE'RE GOING TO DO REHEARSAL.

I NEED EVERYONE TO SETTLE.

ALL RIGHT, HOLD THE WORK, OKAY?

READY?

ACTION, REHEARSAL.

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, PREPPY.

I'LL ASK HER OUT IF I WANT TO.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I FORBID IT.

[SCOFFS] YOU FORBID IT?

[SIGHS] WAIT, WHAT'S THAT LINE AGAIN?

UH...

"WHO ARE YOU, THE KING OF ENGLAND?"

RIGHT, SORRY.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP FORGETTING THAT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

[CLEARS THROAT]

WHO ARE YOU, THE KING OF ENGLAND?

SOMETIMES HE THINKS HE IS.

LARK, LARK, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP.

WE'VE GOT AN AUDIENCE THIS TIME.

NO ONE'S GOING TO BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU.

SOMETIMES HE THINKS HE IS.

WELL, PEOPLE DO SAY I HAVE SORT OF A ROYAL AIR--

CAN I COME OUT YET?

NO, NO, DUSTIN, YOU'VE GOT TO LET MARIO AND MARK-PAUL FINISH THEIR BIT BEFORE YOU OPEN THE DOOR.

OKAY?

THIS IS A DISASTER.

THEY'LL GET BETTER.

GIVE THEM A LITTLE TIME.

WE'RE SHOOTING IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.

SOME OF THESE KIDS HAVE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.

SO WE'LL KEEP WORKING WITH THEM.

WE'LL GET THEM READY.

YOU WON'T GET ONE LAUGH IF THEY'RE FUMBLING EVERY OTHER LINE.

THEY WON'T.

BRANDON'S STICKING HIS NECK OUT, TAKING A RISK ON THIS.

WE HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, HERE WE GO!

REHEARSAL'S UP.

[SLATER]: IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, PREPPY.

WHICH ARE THE SMALL ANGLES AGAIN, ACUTE OR OBTUSE?

ACUTE.

ACUTE, THANK YOU.

I CAN REMEMBER ALL MY LINES, BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER THAT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

KEEP WORKING ON YOUR INDIVIDUAL ASSIGNMENTS.

OH, MY GOD, THIS SUCKS!

WHEN I GOT CAST, I WAS STOKED, 'CAUSE I THOUGHT IT MEANT NO SCHOOL.

BUT WE'RE TRAPPED IN THIS ROOM MORE THAN WE'RE OUT ON THE STAGE.

IT'S TRUE.

HEY, DID THE PRODUCERS ASK YOU GUYS WHAT TALENTS YOU HAVE?

YEAH.

THEY SAID THEY WANT TO, LIKE, WRITE IT INTO OUR CHARACTERS OR SOMETHING.

TRY AND MAKE US MORE REAL.

ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT I RIDE HORSES.

I DON'T REALLY SEE THEM BRINGING HORSES ONTO THE SET.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, YOU DID BEAUTY PAGEANTS ALL THOSE YEARS, MAYBE THEY CAN USE THAT?

YEAH.

I MEAN, I JUST TOLD THEM ABOUT MY DANCING.

ME TOO.

[SCOFFS]

YOU'RE A DANCER?

[CHUCKLES]

YOU TELL ME.

-NO. -COME ON.

-NO. -JUST ONE DANCE.

[ALL MURMURING IN ENCOURAGEMENT]

-DO IT. -ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE.

ALL RIGHT. FINE.

OKAY, YOU READY? A SIMPLE TWO-STEP.

VOILA.

[CLAPPING]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

I THOUGHT YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE A STATE CHAMPION WRESTLER?

I AM.

BUT I GREW UP IN CHULA VISTA.

AND IF YOU'RE A GUY WHO DANCES, YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER KNOW HOW TO FIGHT TOO.

[CHUCKLING]

I STARTED KARATE.

WHEN I GET MY BLACK BELT, I'LL BE ABLE TO KICK ASS TOO.

COOL.

[TIFFANI-AMBER]: I DON'T SEE HOW DANCING, OR WRESTLING, OR WHATEVER IS GOING TO HELP US.

WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE FUNNIER.

[MARK-PAUL]: YOU CAN'T MAKE YOURSELF BE FUNNIER.

WE JUST HAVE TO TRY AND RELAX WHEN WE'RE OUT THERE.

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

HE CAN JUST BE HIMSELF, MR. ALL-AMERICAN BOY.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

FIRST OF ALL, I AM NOTHING LIKE ZACK, OKAY?

MY DAD IS DUTCH, MY MOM IS PART INDONESIAN.

I'M THE FIRST MEMBER OF MY FAMILY TO BE BORN IN AMERICA, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU'RE NOT REALLY BLOND, EITHER.

WHAT?

[KIDS MURMUR AND CHUCKLE]

LOOK, THE POINT... OF THIS IS...

[LAUGHING]

LOOK, THE POINT IS, FOR THIS SHOW TO WORK, WE HAVE TO HELP EACH OTHER.

IF WE'RE HAVING FUN, THE AUDIENCE WILL FEEL THAT.

IT'S TRUE.

IT IS TRUE.

IT'S HARD TO HAVE FUN WHEN YOU'RE SCARED TO DEATH.

YEAH.

WELL, THE ONLY THING I'M SCARED OF RIGHT NOW IS THIS TEACHER, AND I'M TRYING TO FINISH UP BEFORE SHE COMES BACK, SO...

[LAUGHING] IT'S NEVER GOING TO STAY.

[***]

IT'S NEVER GOING TO STAY...

NOPE. HERE.

[CAMEO'S "WORD UP" PLAYS]

* YO, PRETTY LADIES AROUND THE WORLD *

* GOT A WEIRD THING TO SHOW YOU *

* SO TELL ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS *

* TELL YOUR BROTHER, YOUR SISTER AND YOUR MAMMA TOO *

* 'CAUSE WE'RE ABOUT TO THROW DOWN *

* AND YOU'LL KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO *

* WAVE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU DON'T CARE *

* GLIDE BY THE PEOPLE *

* AS THEY START TO LOOK AND STARE *

* DO YOUR DANCE, DO YOUR DANCE DO YOUR DANCE QUICK *

* MAMMA *

* COME ON BABY, TELL ME WHAT'S THE WORD *

* WORD UP, EVERYBODY SAY *

* WHEN YOU HEAR THE CALL YOU'VE GOT TO GET IT UNDERWAY *

* WORD UP, IT'S THE CODE WORD *

* NO MATTER WHERE YOU SAY IT *

* YOU'LL KNOW THAT YOU'LL BE HEARD NOW *

* ALL YOU SUCKER DJs WHO THINK YOU'RE FLY *

* THERE'S GOT TO BE A REASON AND WE KNOW THE REASON WHY *

* YOU TRY TO PUT ON THOSE AIRS AND ACT REAL COOL *

* BUT YA GOT TO REALIZE *

* THAT YOU'RE ACTING LIKE FOOLS *

QUIET, PLEASE.

CAMERAS ROLLING.

AND...ACTION.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS WEEKEND.

PRESIDENT'S DAY MEANS ONE THING, SALES!

RODEO DRIVE, HERE I COME.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

CAN I COME WITH YOU?

I CAN'T ACTUALLY AFFORD TO BUY ANYTHING, BUT IT'S ALWAYS FUN WATCHING YOU SPEND.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

I REFUSE TO CELEBRATE PRESIDENT'S DAY UNTIL WE HAVE OUR FIRST WOMAN PRESIDENT.

[SLATER LAUGHS]

WHAT?

YOU DON'T THINK A WOMAN CAN BE PRESIDENT?

SURE, AS LONG AS SHE HAS A GUY SHE CAN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.

[AUDIENCE]: OH... -YOU'RE SUCH A CHAUVINIST.

[AUDIENCE CHUCKLES]

IF THAT MEANS DEVILISHLY HANDSOME AND CHARMING, THEN I PLEAD GUILTY.

[AUDIENCES LAUGHS HEARTILY]

[LISA]: I'M SO READY FOR THIS WEEK TO BE OVER.

[JESSIE]: TELL ME ABOUT IT, I'VE GOT TWO TESTS TOMORROW...

[DUSTIN]: THE NEW SAVED BY THE BELL WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE FIRST SHOW, LOUDER AND CRAZIER.

BUT WE WERE ALSO MORE LIKE REAL TEENAGERS.

OVER THE TOP, MAYBE, BUT NOT SO DIFFERENT FROM KIDS YOU MIGHT SEE AT YOUR OWN SCHOOL.

AND AS IT ALL CAME TOGETHER, WE FINALLY STARTED TO TRUST EACH OTHER AND JUST HAVE FUN.

YEAH, OF COURSE I REMEMBERED, MOM.

YOU THINK I'D FORGET SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR BIRTHDAY DINNER?

YEAH, OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

BYE.

I TOTALLY FORGOT MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY DINNER.

WHICH WOULDN'T BE SO BAD, EXCEPT I FINALLY GOT KELLY TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME THAT SAME NIGHT.

"A HOUSE DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF CANNOT STAND."

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GETTING READY FOR PRESIDENTS DAY.

WHO ARE YOU GOING AS?

[LAUGHTER]

UH, YOU KNOW IT'S NOT HALLOWEEN, RIGHT, SCREECH?

I KNOW.

IT'S EVEN BETTER!

[LAUGHTER]

HI, ZACK, WE STILL ON FOR SATURDAY NIGHT?

YOU KNOW IT.

[SCREECH]: ARE WE STILL ON FOR SATURDAY NIGHT?

[LISA]: SURE.

SOMEBODY HAS TO CARRY MY BAGS.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

HOW ABOUT A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR OUR AMAZING CAST!

DENNIS HASKINS AS PRINCIPAL BELDING!

[APPLAUSE]

ELIZABETH BERKLEY AS JESSIE SPANO!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]

MARIO LOPEZ AS A.C. SLATER!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

LARK VOORHIES AS LISA TURTLE!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

TIFFANI-AMBER THIESSEN AS KELLY KAPOWSKI!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

DUSTIN DIAMOND AS SCREECH POWERS!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

AND MARK-PAUL GOSSELAAR AS ZACK MORRIS!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]

[CHEERING]

[CROWD WHISTLES AND CHEERS]

[MARK-PAUL READS]: "SAVED BY THE BELL FEATURES WOODEN ACTING, CHEAP SETS, AND RIDICULOUS PLOTS.

THIS IS LOW-QUALITY PROGRAMMING.

KIDS DESERVE BETTER.

THE YOUNG CAST WAS CLEARLY CHOSEN FOR THEIR LOOKS AND NOT THEIR TALENT."

GIMME THAT.

DOUCHEBAGS.

WHY DO THEY HATE US SO MUCH?

WE SHOULDN'T READ ANY MORE.

WE DON'T HAVE TO.

THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING.

[SNIFFLING]

HEY, DON'T CRY.

WHAT DO THEY KNOW ANYWAY?

YOU KNOW, IN CHURCH, THEY TELL US WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TOO MUCH PRIDE.

SOMETIMES THAT'S REALLY HARD.

[DUSTIN]: WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO HUNG UP ON THE REVIEWS?

THE SHOW'S FOR KIDS.

WHO CARES WHAT THE CRITICS SAY?

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO READ THOSE.

ALL OUR FRIENDS.

AND FAMILIES.

YEAH, BUT THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.

IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.

"SCREECH IS EASILY ONE OF THE MOST ANNOYING AND LEAST LIKEABLE CHARACTERS TO HIT TELEVISION IN RECENT YEARS.

YOUNG COMEDIAN DUSTIN DIAMOND'S AWKWARD ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR ARE PAINFUL TO WATCH."

SO?

IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

I'M GOING IN.

[SIGHING HEAVILY]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

I DON'T KNOW, THIS JERRY SEINFELD, HE'S VERY FUNNY, BUT THE PILOT FEELS TOO... JEWISH, TOO NEW YORK.

LET ME CALL YOU BACK.

I JUST HAD A BIG STAR WALK INTO MY OFFICE.

OKAY?

HEY, DUSTIN.

THIS IS A SURPRISE.

I JUST WALKED IN, I'M SORRY. IS THAT OKAY?

FOR YOU, NO PROBLEM.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

OKAY, WELL, UH, YOU'RE, LIKE, THE HEAD OF EVERYTHING, RIGHT?

MAYBE NOT EVERYTHING, BUT...

I THINK WE SHOULD CHANGE SCREECH.

I MEAN, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SUCH A GEEK?

WELL, THAT'S WHAT MAKES HIM FUNNY.

YOU'RE GREAT AT THAT.

ALL THE OTHER KIDS GET TO BE COOL.

THEIR HAIR, AND THEIR CLOTHES, AND EVERYTHING, AND I'M JUST THE GUY THAT EVERYBODY LAUGHS AT.

THAT'S THE CHARACTER, NOT YOU.

YEAH, WELL, TELL THEM THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I LOVE SCREECH.

AND THE TRUTH IS, EVERY ONE OF US HAS A LITTLE GEEK INSIDE OF US, SOME OF US MORE THAN OTHERS, BUT...

MY DAUGHTER SAYS YOU MAKE HER LAUGH MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE ON THE SHOW, AND SHE'S NOT SAYING THAT BECAUSE SHE'S LAUGHING AT YOU.

YOU JUST... YOU MAKE HER SMILE.

AND AS YOU GET OLDER, YOU'LL REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS.

SO SCREECH DATING THE HOTTEST GIRL IN SCHOOL IS OUT?

[CHUCKLES] MAYBE FOR NOW.

BUT FOR DUSTIN DIAMOND, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

WELL, I WISH I HAD BETTER NEWS, BUT THE RATINGS JUST AREN'T WHAT THE NETWORK HOPED.

[WHISPERING] WE'RE GETTING CANCELED?

BUGS BUNNY'S KICKING OUR BUTTS.

[PETER]: I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ALL DID A FANTASTIC JOB.

WE COULDN'T BE PROUDER.

I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T GONNA BE THE LAST TIME.

A LOT OF PEOPLE AT THE NETWORK DIDN'T BELIEVE IN US.

THEY WOULD'VE BEEN THRILLED TO SEE US CANCELED.

BUT THEN SOMETHING AMAZING STARTED TO HAPPEN.

[***]

KIDS STARTED TALKING, AND THE MORE THEY TALKED, THE MORE PEOPLE STARTED WATCHING.

* YO, PRETTY LADIES AROUND THE WORLD *

* GOT A WEIRD THING TO SHOW YOU *

* SO TELL ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS *

* NO ROMANCE, NO ROMANCE NO ROMANCE FOR ME, MAMMA... *

[DUSTIN]: THE SHOW THAT WOULDN'T DIE GOT YET ANOTHER CHANCE?

PETER!

HAVE YOU SEEN THE NUMBERS?

[SIGHS]

I KNOW, THEY, UH, AREN'T WHAT YOU HOPED.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, PETER.

IT'S LIKE EVERY TEENAGER IN AMERICA SUDDENLY DISCOVERED THIS SHOW.

SO THE RATINGS WENT UP?

UP?

THEY WENT THROUGH THE ROOF.

PETER, YOU HAVE A BONA FIDE HIT ON YOUR HANDS.

[CHUCKLES IN DISBELIEF]

CONGRATULATIONS.

GOOD JOB.

[***]

[DUSTIN]: GUYS! [MARK-PAUL]: WHAT?

[DUSTIN]: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

[DISTANT SCREAMING]

OH, MY GOD.

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

[FANS SCREAMING AND CHEERING]

[DUSTIN]: BY THE TIME THE SECOND SEASON OF SAVED BY THE BELL STARTED, EVERY KID IN AMERICA HAD HEARD OF ZACK AND KELLY, JESSIE AND SLATER, LISA TURTLE, AND EVEN SCREECH...

SCREECH! SCREECH!

[CHEERING IN EXCITEMENT]

YOU'RE SO FUNNY!

THANK YOU.

CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

SURE.

LISA TURTLE SHOULD TOTALLY GO OUT WITH YOU, SCREECH!

[DUSTIN CHUCKLES]

HERE YOU GO.

[GASPING IN EXCITEMENT]

I LOVE YOU, KELLY!

I LOVE YOU TOO.

YOU'RE EVEN CUTER IN PERSON!

[LAUGHS] THANK YOU.

WILL YOU SIGN MY BELLY BUTTON?

UH, SURE.

MINE TOO.

MOM!

NO PROBLEM.

[SCREAMING AND CHEERING]

HI!

WHOA, WHOA, EASY, THERE, GUYS.

WHOA, HEY, HEY, HEY! HEY, HEY, HEY!

COME ON, MAN! GET THEM OFF OF ME!

OKAY, THAT'S IT.

OUT! OUT! GO, GO, GO, GO!

[FANS SCREAMING]

[ALL BURST OUT LAUGHING]

[CHEERING IN TRIUMPH]

[***]

LOOK AT YOUR SHIRT!

"SAVED BY THE BELL" ISN'T JUST A SUCCESSFUL SHOW FOR US, IT'S BECOMING A VERY IMPORTANT COMMODITY.

WE'RE CLOSING MORE FOREIGN RIGHTS DEALS EVERY DAY.

IT'S GOING GLOBAL.

WHICH MEANS WE NEED TO PROTECT THE SHOW.

PART OF WHAT MAKES THIS SHOW WORK IS THE WHOLESOME IMAGE OF ITS STARS.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY AND SWEET.

NOT THIS.

WHO AUTHORIZED THESE PICTURES?

SEXY SELLS. ISN'T THAT WHAT WE WANT?

NO. NOT WHEN IT UNDERMINES THE BRAND.

WE NEED TO TAKE CONTROL.

KEEP THESE KIDS IN LINE.

THEY'RE TEENAGERS IN HOLLYWOOD.

THEY'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE.

IT'S LIKE AN UNWRITTEN LAW.

OUR JOB IS TO MAKE SURE THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN.

THIS SHOW IS POTENTIALLY WORTH HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS TO THE NETWORK.

WE DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PROTECT OUR INVESTMENT.

IT'S NOT FAIR!

THE RULES HAVEN'T CHANGED JUST BECAUSE THE SHOW'S DOING WELL.

WELL, I'M 16! I WANT TO BUY MY OWN CAR!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

YOU GET $20 A WEEK TO SPEND AS YOU SEE FIT.

THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO BUY A CAR.

I'M MAKING THOUSANDS!

AND YOUR DAD AND I ARE PUTTING IT ALL INTO AN ACCOUNT FOR YOU.

FOR COLLEGE.

FOR THE FUTURE.

I'M THE ONE WHO DOES THE WORK, OKAY?

IT'S MY MONEY, AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT!

I KNOW THIS DOESN'T SEEM FAIR RIGHT NOW.

BUT WE'RE DOING THIS FOR YOU.

IT'S STUPID.

HEY! WATCH THE TONE.

DO YOU WANT TO BE GROUNDED AGAIN?

GROUNDED? SERIOUSLY?

SERIOUSLY.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[LAUGHING]

[ELIZABETH]: IT JUST FEELS WEIRD, YOU KNOW?

IN REAL LIFE, I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL LAST WEEK, BUT THE WHOLE WORLD STILL JUST SEES ME AS A SOPHOMORE.

I JUST ALWAYS FIGURED AFTER I GRADUATED, I WOULD BE HEADING OFF TO COLLEGE SOMEWHERE TOTALLY EXCITING.

BUT INSTEAD, I'M STILL JUST TRAPPED IN HIGH SCHOOL.

AT LEAST YOU'RE GETTING PAID FOR IT.

[CHUCKLES] YEAH.

HI...

WE'RE SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT...

WE JUST WANTED TO SAY HOW MUCH WE LOVE YOU, ALL OF YOU.

OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.

MAYBE THIS SOUNDS DUMB, BUT IT FEELS LIKE I KNOW YOU.

[GIGGLING]

NO, THAT DOESN'T SOUND DUMB AT ALL.

WHEN YOU CAUGHT ZACK LYING TO YOU, AND YOU STOOD UP FOR YOURSELF?

OH, MY GOD, I WENT OUT THE NEXT DAY AND BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I KNEW HE WAS LYING TO ME TOO.

OH, THAT'S... THAT'S TERRIBLE.

SO THE SHOW REALLY MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR YOU?

IT'S LIKE WATCHING MY LIFE RIGHT THERE ON TV.

[MARIO]: THE PRODUCERS WILL NEVER GO FOR IT.

THE SHOW'S WORKING.

THEY'RE NOT GONNA WANT TO CHANGE IT.

YEAH, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD THESE GIRLS.

SAVED BY THE BELL REALLY SPEAKS TO THEM.

THEY'RE JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME.

I MEAN, WHY RUIN IT BY GETTING ALL SERIOUS?

IT'S MORE THAN THAT. THESE GIRLS IDENTIFY WITH US.

IT'S LIKE THEY'RE GOING TO SCHOOL WITH US.

WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD BE TACKLING MORE SERIOUS SUBJECTS, REAL THINGS THAT REAL TEENAGERS ARE DEALING WITH.

WE COULD ACTUALLY HAVE A VOICE.

YEAH, BUT WE'RE A COMEDY.

M.A.S.H. WAS A COMEDY.

ALL IN THE FAMILY WAS A COMEDY, AND THEY DEALT WITH A LOT OF SERIOUS SUBJECTS.

YEAH, WE COULD BE LIKE THAT, BUT FOR KIDS OUR AGE.

LIKE MAYBE THE WRITERS COULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING ON DRUNK DRIVING.

OR DRUG ABUSE.

I DON'T KNOW.

DOESN'T THAT SOUND KIND OF... HEAVY?

IT COULD BE GREAT.

YEAH, BUT WE NEED YOU GUYS TO BACK US UP.

WE HAVE TO STAND TOGETHER, OR THEY'LL JUST IGNORE US.

YEAH.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

OKAY, WE'LL START WITH THE WRITERS.

JUST SMALL THINGS AT FIRST.

YEAH, AND IF WE CAN CONVINCE THEM TO KEEP MAKING IT MORE REAL, THEY'LL CONVINCE PETER.

ALL THOSE CRITICS SAID THAT WE WERE DOING JUST A DUMB HIGH SCHOOL SHOW.

WE'RE GOING TO PROVE THEM WRONG.

[DUSTIN]: GROWING UP IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA SOUNDS PRETTY EXCITING, HUH?

SOMETIMES IT WAS.

BUT A LOT OF THE TIME WE JUST SPENT WAITING AROUND, TRYING NOT TO BE BORED OUT OF OUR MINDS.

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING]

IT'S OKAY, IT'S NOT REAL.

I HATE WORKING WITH KIDS.

GEEZ, IT WAS JUST A JOKE.

[DUSTIN]: MARIO, OF COURSE, FOUND OTHER WAYS TO PASS THE TIME.

THIS IS WHERE ALL THE MAGIC HAPPENS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE.

THIS LOOKS JUST LIKE ON TV.

YOU REALLY LIKE THE SHOW, HUH?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART?

YOU.

COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU THE REST.

[GIGGLES ECHOING]

SO WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART?

DUSTIN...

DUSTIN!

HEY.

HERE'S NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE.

IT'S PRETTY FUNNY.

YOU GET TO DRESS UP LIKE A LADY JANITOR.

OH, HEY, I, UH...

I GOT YOU SOMETHING.

YOU DID?

YUP, FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.

BET YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D REMEMBER, DID YOU?

I DON'T REALLY LIKE TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.

WHY?

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, IT'S THE ONE DAY OF THE YEAR WHERE IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU.

GO ON, OPEN IT.

THE THING IS, I'M NOT REALLY SUPPOSED TO.

JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES DON'T CELEBRATE BIRTHDAYS, OR CHRISTMASES, OR...

MOST HOLIDAYS.

OH.

I'M SORRY, I SHOULDN'T HAVE.

I HAD NO IDEA.

NO, NO, IT'S NICE.

YOU'RE NICE.

BEING ON THIS SHOW, IT'S OPENED MY EYES TO SO MANY NEW THINGS.

THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO.

BUT SOMETIMES I WANT TO.

YEAH.

YEAH, ME TOO. I, UH...

I WANT TO.

[ELIZABETH]: MARK-PAUL, ARE YOU UP HERE?

OH, MY GOSH, I AM SO SORRY.

I'LL JUST GO.

NO, I-I HAVE A FITTING.

I SHOULD GO.

[ELIZABETH WHISPERS] I'M SO SORRY.

THAT'S OKAY.

[SIGHING HEAVILY]

I AM SO SORRY.

I DIDN'T KNOW.

OH, MAN.

ARE YOU AND LARK A THING?

YEAH.

I THINK WE'RE DATING.

[CHUCKLES]

YOU "THINK" YOU'RE DATING?

THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD.

WELL, WE HAVE TO KEEP IT A SECRET, SO IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN GO OUT AND DO THINGS.

BECAUSE OF HER PARENTS?

IT'S NOT JUST THEM, IT'S PETER AND THE NETWORK, AND...

THEY'D FREAK OUT IF PEOPLE KNEW.

YOU'RE ALLOWED TO HAVE A LIFE.

AM I?

IT'S SO STUPID.

I HAVE GIRLS WRITING LETTERS TO ME EVERY DAY TELLING ME HOW MUCH THEY'RE IN LOVE WITH ME...

AND I CAN'T GO OUT ON A DATE WITH THE ONE GIRL I REALLY LIKE.

[DUSTIN]: IF MARK-PAUL THOUGHT HE WAS CONFUSED ABOUT LARK, HE WAS ABOUT TO GET A WHOLE LOT MORE CONFUSED ABOUT TIFFANI.

DID YOU SEE THIS?

IS THAT NEXT WEEK'S?

LOOK.

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASK THE WRITERS TO MAKE THE STORYLINES MORE DRAMATIC.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE WE DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD HAPPEN EVENTUALLY, RIGHT?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST A KISS.

YEAH.

YEAH, AND WE'RE FRIENDS AND GOOD ACTORS, SO...

IT'S NO BIG DEAL, RIGHT?

YEAH.

OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA KISS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FRONT OF THE CAST, THE CREW, AND, LIKE, A HUNDRED PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE.

OH, MY GOD.

WE HAVE TO PRACTICE.

ALL RIGHT.

[CLEARING THROAT]

KISS ME.

SORRY.

[CLEARS THROAT AWKWARDLY]

OKAY.

[WINCING]

WE HAVE TO MAKE IT LOOK REAL.

YEAH, UH, OKAY.

YOU NEED TO KISS ME BACK, THEN, 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY KISS.

OKAY.

YEAH.

SHOULD I DO IT AGAIN?

MM-HMM.

[CLEARING THROAT]

[SIGHS]

[GIGGLING]

I THINK WE GOT THIS.

YEAH. YEAH, WE'RE GOOD.

[CHUCKLING] UH...

YEAH.

YEAH.

YEAH. OKAY.

[***]

ALL RIGHT, LET'S RESET, GET THE SHOTS WITH THE KIDS.

LET'S GET SOME PLAYFUL ZACK AND KELLYS FIRST.

[BELL BIV DEVOE'S "POISON" PLAYS]

* GIRL, I MUST WARN YOU

* I SENSE SOMETHING STRANGE IN MY MIND... *

STOP, YOU'RE TICKLING ME.

DON'T LAUGH.

[LARK]: CAN YOU BELIEVE HER?

[MOCKING] "STOP, YOU'RE TICKLING ME."

SHE KNOWS YOU LIKE HIM.

WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO FLIRTY?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THE GIRLS TOGETHER.

COME ON.

IT'S FINE.

* IT'S ALL SO DEADLY...

OW!

OH, SORRY.

ACCIDENT.

WHAT'S HER PROBLEM?

GIRLS, SMILE!

* IT'S DRIVIN' ME OUT OF MY MIND *

* THAT'S WHY IT'S HARD FOR ME TO FIND *

* CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD *

* MISS HER, KISS HER *

SERIOUSLY, STOP IT.

* THAT GIRL IS POISON *

OKAY, ENOUGH.

[***]

* NEVER TRUST A BIG BUTT AND SMILE *

* THAT GIRL IS POISON

* IF I WERE YOU I'D TAKE PRECAUTION *

* BEFORE I START TO MEET FLY GIRL, YOU KNOW? *

* 'CAUSE IN SOME PORTIONS

* YOU'LL THINK SHE'S THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD *

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET UP.

I'M FINE.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS, COME ON IN.

YOU'RE SUCH A PRICK.

DUSTIN! LANGUAGE.

YOU WANT TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE?

OH, IS THAT SUPPOSED TO SCARE ME?

'CAUSE IT DOESN'T.

WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP?

HE JUST CALLED ME A PRICK.

ENOUGH, GUYS.

I'LL TAKE HIM DOWN RIGHT HERE--

COME ON.

LET'S SEE THOSE CHARACTERS.

[***]

OH, GROSS, YOU'RE SWEATY.

SORRY.

IT'S KINDA GROSS.

CAN YOU PLEASE STOP PUSHING ME?

I'M NOT.

COME ON, GUYS, SMILE!

[ALL ARGUING]

SMILES!

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS KNEEL IN FRONT.

I'M NOT KNEELING.

GUYS, SMILE!

WELL, THE NETWORK DIDN'T KILL US, BUT THE HORMONES MIGHT.

* POISON... *

EVERYBODY, CLEAR THE SET.

THAT'S MARKS.

AND... ACTION.

[DUSTIN]: THE SOUND STAGE WHERE WE TAPED SAVED BY THE BELL BECAME OUR VERY OWN HIGH SCHOOL.

TO FIGURE OUT WHO WAS DATING IN REAL LIFE, ALL YOU HAD TO KNOW WAS WHICH CHARACTERS WERE DATING ON THE SHOW.

THIS NIGHT HAS BEEN AMAZING.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE ACTUALLY PULLED IT OFF.

YEAH, THE DECORATIONS LOOK GREAT, MOMMA.

WHAT IS KRISTY DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE WAS SICK.

YEAH, WELL...

SEEMS LIKE SHE'S DOING BETTER, HUH?

[LAUGHTER]

YOU DIDN'T TELL HER, DID YOU?

DID YOU ASK US BOTH TO THE DANCE?

KINDA.

[AUDIENCE GROANS] OOH...

BUT THE THING IS, I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAY NO.

YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE!

I'M ASSUMING YOU DON'T MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY?

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT WAS I THINKING, EVER BELIEVING YOU WOULD CHANGE?

JESSIE!

AND... CUT! ALL RIGHT.

[APPLAUSE]

RESET.

AGAIN?

QUIET, AND ACTION.

[DUSTIN]: EVEN SCREECH GOT IN ON THE ACTION.

I HAD MY FIRST REAL KISS RIGHT THERE ON THAT STAGE...

OF COURSE, VIOLET.

I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU.

[AUDIENCE GASPS] OOH!

[DUSTIN]: AND NOT JUST FROM ANY GIRL, EITHER.

MY FIRST KISS WAS FROM TORI SPELLING, THE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PRODUCER IN HOLLYWOOD.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

THINGS DIDN'T ALWAYS WORK OUT SO EASILY IN REAL LIFE.

REMEMBER THE EPISODE WHERE YOU GUYS DID THE COMMERCIALS FOR THE BUDDY BANDS?

THAT WAS SO FUNNY.

YEAH, I LIKED THAT ONE TOO.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE EVEN BETTER?

YOU.

[CHUCKLES SHYLY]

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD MAYBE INTRODUCE ME TO MARK-PAUL?

UH... YEAH. COME ON.

WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT TURNING THIS INTO A DRAMA.

THAT'S KIND OF WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE.

THE KIDS THAT WATCH OUR SHOW, THEY SEE IT AS A REFLECTION OF THEIR OWN LIVES.

THAT'S WHY THEY CARE ABOUT THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH.

IT'S THE CHARACTERS I'M WORRIED ABOUT.

WE NEED THE AUDIENCE TO LIKE THEM.

NO, WE NEED OUR AUDIENCE TO RELATE TO THEM.

TEENAGERS SCREW UP, THEY MAKE MISTAKES, THEY LEARN FROM THEM.

SURE, FUNNY MISTAKES.

REAL MISTAKES.

THE KIND THAT HAVE REAL CONSEQUENCES TO HELP THEM GROW.

THAT'S WHAT OUR KIDS NEED TO EXPERIENCE.

I'M SORRY, PETER, THERE'S JUST NO WAY THE NETWORK CAN ALLOW THIS.

I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

WE THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IT.

YEAH, IT'S JUST WHAT THE SHOW NEEDS.

LIKE A TEENAGER'S LIFE, CONSTANTLY GROWING AND EVOLVING.

I LIKE IT. GOOD WORK.

THANK YOU.

DADDY!

OH, HEY!

WE'RE GOING TO SEE KEVIN THE ROBOT!

ARE YOU? THAT'S...THAT'S GREAT.

SCREECH IS GONNA SHOW ME.

YOU MEAN "DUSTIN," HONEY?

SCREECH IS JUST WHO HE PLAYS, RIGHT?

OH, SORRY.

THAT'S OKAY.

YOU CAN JUST CALL ME SCREECH.

LOOK, HE'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

YOU'VE GROWN UP A LOT SINCE I LAST SAW YOU.

WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT A LITTLE KID ANYMORE.

DEFINITELY NOT.

YOU LOOK GOOD, YOU SEEM...

AT HOME HERE.

YEAH, IT'S GOOD.

I MEAN, THIS IS THE EASY PART.

[CHUCKLES]

YEAH.

OKAY. HAVE FUN.

-SEE YOU. -SEE YOU.

[CHUCKLES FONDLY]

LOOK!

WE DID IT!

WE DID?

'CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I'D REMEMBER THAT.

FUNNY.

DID YOU READ THIS WEEK'S EPISODE?

NOT UNTIL I HAVE TO.

THE PRODUCERS FINALLY GOT THE NETWORK TO LISTEN TO US.

LOOK, JESSIE IS ADDICTED TO PILLS!

THEY'RE LETTING YOU POP PILLS?

ISN'T THAT GREAT?

SHE'S DOING ALL OF THESE THINGS, SHE'S STUDYING FOR MIDTERMS, AND SHE'S IN A SINGING GROUP, AND THE PRESSURE JUST BECOMES TOO MUCH.

[GASPS] I WONDER IF I SHOULD TALK TO AN ACTUAL ADDICT.

YOU KNOW, TO UNDERSTAND WHAT JESSIE'S REALLY GOING THROUGH.

SURE.

YOU THINK I CAN DO IT?

I THINK YOU'LL BE FANTASTIC.

I, UH, BETTER GET WORKING ON THIS.

[DUSTIN]: SO ELIZABETH GOT HER WAY, AND THE END RESULT WAS THE MOST TALKED-ABOUT SCENE IN THE HISTORY OF THE SHOW.

DRUGS?

YOU ARE TAKING DRUGS?

I HAD TO.

YOU HAVE TO STOP. LET ME HAVE THEM.

NO, I CAN'T, ZACK!

NOT TONIGHT--

[SHRIEKING] NO, I CAN'T!

I NEED THEM, ZACK, TO HELP ME SING!

THEY AREN'T GOING TO HELP YOU!

YES, THEY WILL!

* I'M SO EXCITED I'M SO EXCITED...

[SOBBING] I'M SO...

SCARED!

[SOBBING]

[LAUGHING]

WHAT?

IT'S CAFFEINE PILLS.

IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S ADDICTED TO HEROIN.

THAT WAS GREAT.

THAT WAS INCREDIBLE, ELIZABETH.

BOTH OF YOU GUYS WERE SO GOOD.

YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT.

HEY...

DUDE...

WHAT'D THE TRASH CAN DO TO YOU?

HEY, I KNOW YOU. YOU'RE ON THAT SHOW, RIGHT?

YEAH. I'M THE IDIOT.

I SAW IT A COUPLE OF TIMES. PRETTY FUNNY.

I GUESS.

I AUDITIONED FOR A SMALL PART A WHILE BACK.

DIDN'T GET IT.

YOU WORKING ON SOMETHING ON THE LOT?

YEAH.

WELL, I MEAN, MOSTLY AS AN EXTRA RIGHT NOW.

WORKING MY WAY UP.

YEAH...

HEY, UM...

YOU WANT A SWIG?

WHAT IS IT?

NOTHING. JUST PLAIN VODKA.

SURE.

[SPLUTTERING]

[LAUGHS]

[CHUCKLING]

IT GETS EASIER.

[GRIMACES]

IT GETS EASIER.

DON'T WORRY.

GO AHEAD, MAN, THERE'S PLENTY.

[COUGHING]

[CHUCKLING]

[***]

BY THE THIRD SEASON, SAVED BY THE BELL WAS THE HIGHEST-RATED SHOW ON SATURDAY MORNINGS.

WE WERE ALSO PLAYING SEVERAL TIMES A DAY IN SYNDICATION, HAD WON A SLEW OF KIDS' TV AWARDS, AND GONE INTERNATIONAL.

EVERYONE WAS LOOKING FOR WAYS, YOU KNOW, TO KEEP THINGS FRESH.

THE WRITERS GAVE US SUMMER JOBS AT A BEACH RESORT, AND THEY BROUGHT IN NEW LOVE INTERESTS TO STIR UP TROUBLE.

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, BY THIS POINT, WE COULD PERFORM OUR CHARACTERS WITH OUR EYES CLOSED, WHICH MEANT WE HAD A LOT MORE FREE TIME ON OUR HANDS.

AND...ACTION!

DUDE, YOU CANNOT SHOW STACEY THIS PICTURE.

BUT YOU LOOK SO PRETTY IN A DRESS.

ALL RIGHT, FINE, IF YOU SHOW HER THAT PICTURE, I'M GOING TO SHOW EVERYONE THE PICTURE OF YOU ON PAGE 67.

OH, MAN, THAT'S DISGUSTING.

[LAUGHS]

I MEAN, IT'S REALLY A THING OF BEAUTY.

THAT BUTT IS SO WHITE IT MIGHT BLIND ME.

CUT!

[LAUGHTER]

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.

LET'S TRY THIS ONCE MORE.

SORRY. OKAY.

CAN WE PLEASE GET THIS SCENE BEFORE LUNCH?

SORRY. I'M GOOD. SORRY.

[DUSTIN]: THE PROBLEM WAS, THE MORE SUCCESSFUL THE SHOW BECAME, THE MORE WE REALIZED HOW TRAPPED WE REALLY WERE.

HI, I'M ELIZABETH BERKLEY.

WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?

OH, UM, I'M HERE FOR "AHEAD OF HER TIME."

OH, ARE YOU SURE?

I THINK SO...

I MEAN, THAT'S THE TV MOVIE ABOUT ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, ISN'T IT?

RIGHT.

IT'S JUST DOWN THE HALL TO THE LEFT.

GREAT. THANKS.

OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S AUDITIONING.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST A SILLY SATURDAY MORNING KIDS' SHOW.

[LAUGHS]

WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING.

TELL ME.

TIFFANI-AMBER.

LARK, TIFFANI-AMBER AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS.

YOU KEEP SAYING THAT, BUT THEY HAVE ALL THESE PICTURES.

WE WENT TO THE MOVIES. SO WHAT?

YOU KNOW HOW THE MAGAZINES TWIST THOSE THINGS AROUND.

SO YOU DON'T REALLY LIKE HER?

NOT LIKE THAT, NO.

I MEAN, WE'RE CLOSE FRIENDS.

HOW CLOSE?

WE'RE FRIENDS, WE'RE CLOSE FRIENDS.

AND WHAT AM I?

I DON'T KNOW!

WE NEVER GET TO HANG OUT, WE NEVER GET TO DO STUFF.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE ARE.

THEN I GUESS WE'RE JUST AS FAKE AS ZACK AND KELLY.

WE'RE NOTHING.

[***]

YOU RUIN THE SHOW, MAN.

WHY DON'T THEY JUST FIRE YOUR ASS?

[LAUGHTER AND GIGGLES]

IGNORE HIM.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU'RE EVEN WEIRDER LOOKING IN PERSON.

HE'S PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE ON THE SHOW NOT GETTING ANY.

[LAUGHTER]

WHO'S THAT, YOUR BOYFRIEND?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP?

WHO'S GONNA MAKE ME, SCREECH?

YOU?

YOU'RE A JOKE.

[COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING]

I AM NOT SCREECH!

[COUGHING]

[DUSTIN]: FOR ALL OF US, IT WAS GETTING HARDER TO LIVE IN THE SQUEAKY-CLEAN WORLD OF BAYSIDE HIGH, WHERE THINGS ALWAYS WORKED OUT FINE IN THE END...

NOT WHEN REAL LIFE WAS SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED.

HEY, PETER.

[POINTEDLY] HEY, PETER.

[SIGHING] SORRY.

JUST GOT SOME BAD NEWS.

BRANDON TARTIKOFF AND HIS DAUGHTER, CALLA, WERE IN A CAR ACCIDENT.

WHAT?

WHAT?

IS IT SERIOUS?

IT LOOKS LIKE BRANDON'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

THEY'RE TRANSFERRING HIM OUT OF THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT.

WHAT ABOUT CALLA?

IT'S NOT GOOD.

HER INJURIES ARE... SEVERE.

EXCUSE ME.

YOU OKAY?

SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL YOUR DAD?

HAVE HIM PICK YOU UP, GET OUT OF HERE FOR A WHILE, CLEAR YOUR HEAD?

I'M FINE.

[***]


THE FOURTH SEASON WAS ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR LAST.

FOUR SEASONS TO REPRESENT FOUR YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL.

BRANDON AGREED TO THAT FROM THE START.

YEAH, WELL, BRANDON'S AT HOME NOW TAKING CARE OF HIS DAUGHTER, AND THE NETWORK FEELS THAT SAVED BY THE BELL IS TOO IMPORTANT TO END.

I THINK IT'S A MISTAKE.

YOU KNOW, PETER, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU'RE A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN SUCCESS.

THE SHOW'S A GLOBAL PHENOMENON.

THERE'S NO WAY THAT WE CAN STOP NOW.

WE CAN'T KEEP THE KIDS FROM GROWING UP.

THEY'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS NOW.

THEY'RE READY TO MOVE ON AND TRY NEW THINGS.

THAT'S WHAT KIDS DO.

WE NEED 26 MORE EPISODES.

WELL, WE ONLY HAVE THE CAST UNDER CONTRACT FOR HALF THAT MANY.

THEN WE CONVINCE THEM TO STAY.

THE COLD, HARD TRUTH IS, WITHOUT THIS SHOW, THOSE KIDS ARE NOTHING.

LET'S GIVE THEM A TASTE OF THE GOOD LIFE.

WE'LL HAVE THEM BEGGING US TO STAY.

PARIS?

OH, MY GOD, THAT'S AMAZING!

YOU'LL BE DOING PRESS AND A COUPLE OF FAN EVENTS, BUT THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF TIME TO SEE THE SIGHTS, TOO.

SO, WHEN DO WE GO?

IN A FEW WEEKS.

LARK AND ELIZABETH, WE'D LIKE THE TWO OF YOU TO GO TO NEW YORK.

[GASPING IN DELIGHT]

[TOGETHER]: I LOVE NEW YORK!

WHAT ABOUT ME?

HOW DOES MIAMI SOUND?

OH, AND YOU'LL BE ON YOUR OWN.

NOT FOR LONG.

[CHUCKLING]

AND WHERE AM I GOING?

SPARTANBURG, SOUTH CAROLINA.

WE HAVE A SURPRISINGLY BIG FAN BASE THERE.

[DUSTIN]: OF COURSE.

THE REST OF THE CAST GOT TO GO TO THE MOST GLAMOROUS CITIES IN THE WORLD, WHILE I ENDED UP SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS IN SOME REC CENTER IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

[CROWD CHATTING IN EXCITEMENT]

DUDE, THIS SUCKS.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

LOOK AT ALL THOSE GIRLS, MAN, THEY'RE HERE FOR YOU.

YOU'RE A STAR.

ALL THEY'RE GOING TO DO IS ASK ABOUT MARK-PAUL AND MARIO, AND "OOH, THEY'RE SO CUTE!"

DUDE, RELAX, OKAY?

BY THE TIME THIS NIGHT IS OVER, WE WILL HAVE TWO, OR MORE, OF THOSE GIRLS UP IN OUR HOTEL ROOM. * HOTEL ROOM, HOTEL ROOM...

YEAH, RIGHT.

I'M SURE MY CHAPERONE WOULD REALLY LET THAT HAPPEN.

I'LL HANDLE IT, ALL RIGHT?

YOU GOT TO LEARN HOW TO APPRECIATE WHAT YOU GOT, MAN.

I'M TRYING.

HEY, STICK WITH ME, MAN.

ONE THING I KNOW IS HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

NO, NO, NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'VE ALREADY GOT A LITTLE BUZZ.

TRUST ME, MAN, THE MORE DRUNK YOU ARE, THE MORE FUN YOU ARE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

[LAUGHING]

CHEERS.

CHEERS, DUDE.

HOW COULD YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE?

I TOLD YOU, I WAS SICK.

I HAD FOOD POISONING OR SOMETHING.

YOU WERE DRUNK, DUSTIN.

NOT ONLY IS THAT ILLEGAL, IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING THAT OUR SHOW IS ABOUT.

WHEN YOU'RE AT FAN EVENTS, YOU'RE AN AMBASSADOR FOR ALL OF US.

I KNOW.

THE LOCAL AFFILIATE IS THREATENING TO DROP THE SHOW BECAUSE OF YOUR BEHAVIOR.

OH, COME ON, IT WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL.

IT WAS A BIG DEAL!

THAT'S WHAT I NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND.

IF ANYTHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENS AGAIN, WE'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LET YOU GO.

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S DONE ANYTHING WRONG.

WHY DON'T YOU EVER GIVE THE OTHERS AS MUCH CRAP AS YOU GIVE ME?

DUSTIN--

WELL, HE DOESN'T.

YOU ALL TREAT THEM LIKE THEY'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME, AND THEY'RE NOT.

HEY! THAT'S ENOUGH!

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.

I'VE MADE MY SHARE, BUT THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE IS THINKING THAT YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING TO PROVE.

[SIGHS]

I'LL SEE YOU AT REHEARSAL.

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?

WE WERE JUST HAVING FUN.

YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN YOURSELF FIRED!

I GOT WASTED AND I GOT LAID.

FOR ONCE, I WASN'T THE GEEK EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT.

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED, A SON THAT WASN'T THE BIGGEST FREAK IN THE ROOM?

[TABLE CRASHING]

THEY SURE LIKE TO HUG AND KISS A LOT, HUH?

[IMITATING FRENCH ACCENT] "ZACK MORRIS, I LOVE YOU!"

WOW, YOU DO A REALLY BAD FRENCH ACCENT.

RIGHT?

DU VIN, MADEMOISELLE?

UM... OKAY.

ET VOUS, MONSIEUR?

YEAH.

MAR-SEE.

[CHUCKLES]

ARE YOU GONNA DRINK IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I NEVER HAVE BEFORE.

ME NEITHER.

EH, WHAT THE HELL, MY MOM'S NOT HERE TO TELL ME NO.

HERE'S TO NEW ADVENTURES.

TO NEW ADVENTURES.

[COUGHING]

NO.

IT'S SO GOOD.

YOU LIKE THAT?

UGH.

UH...

SO, ELIZABETH AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING...

MM-HMM.

WE'VE BOTH DECIDED NOT TO EXTEND OUR CONTRACTS.

WE'RE LEAVING THE SHOW.

WAIT, SORRY, WHAT?

WE JUST BOTH FEEL LIKE IT'S TIME.

WELL, I...

YOU KNOW, ELIZABETH, I UNDERSTAND.

SHE'S WANTED TO DO MOVIES FOR A WHILE, BUT...

[SIGHS] I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE EVEN THINKING OF LEAVING THE SHOW.

I JUST, I FEEL LIKE THE FIRST COUPLE OF YEARS ON BELL, I WAS GROWING SO MUCH.

YOU KNOW, I BECAME SO MUCH MORE CONFIDENT.

YEAH, WE ALL DID.

I WANT TO KEEP GROWING.

MAYBE GET ON A PRIMETIME SERIES, YOU KNOW, PLAY A DIFFERENT CHARACTER.

I WANTED YOU TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW.

SAY SOMETHING.

WHAT'S SAVED BY THE BELL WITHOUT ZACK AND KELLY?

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET OUT NOW TOO.

AND DO WHAT?

YOU'RE SO TALENTED.

YOU COULD DO SO MANY ROLES.

EVERYBODY SEES ME AS ZACK MORRIS.

THAT'S... THAT'S ALL THEY KNOW ME AS.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THEY'LL EVER KNOW YOU, OR ME, OR ELIZABETH, OR ANY OF US, UNLESS WE GO OUT THERE, AND WE SHOW THEM SOMETHING THEY'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

COME ON, YOU HAVE TO SHOW THE WORLD WHO MARK-PAUL GOSSELAAR REALLY IS.

AND WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW?

WELL, THEN, YOU'D BETTER FIND OUT.

BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU DO STAY, SAVED BY THE BELL WON'T LAST FOREVER.

HEY, GUYS.

WE'RE DONE, WE JUST...

WANTED TO COME SAY GOODBYE.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU.

IT'S GONNA BE WEIRD WITHOUT YOU.

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M MOVING OR ANYTHING.

WE CAN STILL HANG OUT SOMETIMES.

SURE. IF YOU DON'T FORGET US LITTLE PEOPLE WHEN YOU BECOME A BIG MOVIE STAR.

GIVE ME A HUG.

GOOD LUCK, NOT THAT YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.

YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT.

STOP.

IF YOU CRY, I WILL TOO.

[SIGHING] I'M NOT.

[CLEARS THROAT]

IT'S JUST, UH...

IT FEELS STRANGE, YOU KNOW?

WELL...

I GUESS WE'D BETTER GET GOING.

BYE.

EVERYONE.

BYE.

BYE, GUYS.

BYE.

THAT WASN'T SO BAD, WAS IT?

AT LEAST I DIDN'T CRY.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

SO WE DID IT.

WE'RE FINE.

WHO'S THAT?

UM...

I THINK HER NAME'S LEANNA.

SHE'S THE NEW GIRL THEY HIRED.

THE GIRL THEY CAST TO REPLACE US?

YEAH.

THAT'S HER.

DID WE DO THE RIGHT THING?

YES.

ABSOLUTELY.

WHY DOES IT FEEL SO BAD?

[***]


YOU SHOULD SEE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW.

NO WAY THIS IS YOURS.

YEAH. YOU WANT A RIDE?

[SCOFFS] PETER'S GONNA KILL YOU.

WHAT ABOUT THE NO-DANGEROUS-ACTIVITIES CLAUSE IN OUR CONTRACTS?

I DON'T REALLY READ CONTRACTS.

THAT'S WHAT LAWYERS ARE FOR.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR MOM LET YOU BUY THIS.

I DIDN'T ASK HER.

GET ON.

COME ON.

AW, WHAT? ARE YOU CHICKEN?

DO I LOOK CHICKEN TO YOU, PREPPY?

NO.

[DUSTIN]: THAT LAST SEASON OF SAVED BY THE BELL WAS A MESS.

THE EPISODES WE'D ALREADY SHOT WITH TIFFANI-AMBER AND ELIZABETH WERE JUST MIXED UP WITH THE NEW EPISODES FEATURING TOUGH-GIRL TORI.

ONE WEEK, KELLY AND JESSIE WERE AROUND BAYSIDE, THE NEXT WEEK, POOF!

NO SIGN OF THEM.

[CHEERING] WHOO!

THE SHOW HAD BECOME AS CHAOTIC AS OUR OWN LIVES.

[LAUGHING]

NO?

[LAUGHING] NO, MAN.

IT'S WORKING, COME ON, GIVE ME CREDIT.

PARTY ON, DUDE!

PARTY ON!

WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

HEY, DUDE, WHAT DID PETER SAY ABOUT ME PLAYING TORI'S EX-BOYFRIEND?

UH... THEY ALREADY GOT A GUY FOR THAT, BUT, UH, I THINK THEY SAID HE'D TRY TO FIND SOMEBODY.

I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER. I DON'T KNOW.

[LAUGHING] OH, IT CAME OUT MY NOSE!

DUDE, YOU GOTTA STAY ON TOP OF HIM, OKAY?

[LAUGHING] THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

SCH-WING!

[LAUGHING AND COUGHING]

STUFF'S GETTING IN MY MOUTH.

[SPITTING]

* I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CAN NOT LIE *

* YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY *

* THAT WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST *

* AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE *

* YOU GET SPRUNG WANNA PULL OUT YOUR TOUGH *

* 'CAUSE YOU NOTICE THAT BUTT WAS STUFFED *

* DEEP IN THE JEANS SHE'S WEARING *

* I'M HOOKED AND I CAN'T STOP STARING *

* OH, BABY I WANNA GET WIT' YA *

* AND TAKE YOUR PICTURE *

* MY HOMEBOYS TRIED TO WARN ME *

* BUT THAT BUTT YOU GOT MAKES ME SO HORNY *

* OOH, RUMP-O'-SMOOTH-SKIN *

* YOU SAY YOU WANNA GET IN MY BENZ? *

* WELL, USE ME, USE ME *

* 'CAUSE YOU AIN'T THAT AVERAGE GROUPIE *

* I'VE SEEN HER DANCIN' *

* TO HELL WITH ROMANCIN' *

* SHE'S SWEAT, WET, *

* GOT IT GOIN' LIKE A TURBO 'VETTE *

* I'M TIRED OF MAGAZINES *

* SAYIN' FLAT BUTTS ARE MY THING... *

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

I REALLY WANT TO KISS YOU RIGHT NOW.

[GIGGLES]

WHAT'S STOPPING YOU?

GIVE ME A SEC'.

HEY, GINA'S HEADING TO THIS PARTY IN THE HILLS.

SHE WANTS US TO GO WITH HER.

DUDE, MY PARENTS WILL KILL ME IF I MISS CURFEW AGAIN.

IT'S SATURDAY. IT'S NOT EVEN MIDNIGHT.

I KNOW, BUT YOU KNOW HOW THEY ARE, MAN.

OKAY, SO WE'LL STAY FOR AN HOUR, AND YOU WON'T BE THAT LATE.

[SIGHING]

OR I COULD GO AND TELL YOU WHAT AN AWESOME TIME YOU MISSED.

-I HATE YOU. -I KNOW.

LET'S DO IT.

WE'RE BOTH IN.

JUST, UH... GIVE ME A SEC.

ALL RIGHT.

ELIZABETH, HEY!

YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE AND NOT EVEN SAY HI?

OH, I DIDN'T WANT TO CRAMP YOUR STYLE.

LOOKED LIKE YOU GUYS WERE HAVING FUN.

YOU LOOK... AMAZING.

THANKS.

YOU LOOK... RELAXED, LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY ENJOYING YOURSELF.

YEAH, I... AM.

MOSTLY.

YOU FINALLY GETTING USED TO BEING AMERICA'S TEEN HEARTTHROB?

NEVER.

BUT I AM REALIZING IT HAS ITS PERKS.

I SAW.

SO I HEAR YOU'RE UP FOR A MOVIE.

THAT'S AWESOME.

IT'S DOWN TO ME AND ONE OTHER GIRL.

NICE.

WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL GET IT.

FINGERS CROSSED.

[LAUGHS]

[BOTH START TALKING AT ONCE]

PLEASE. [LAUGHS]

JUST, ME AND MARIO WERE GONNA GO TO THIS PARTY IN THE HILLS.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANTED TO COME OR NOT?

I'M ACTUALLY FEELING A LITTLE TIRED. I'LL...

YEAH. OKAY.

IT WAS GREAT TO SEE YOU, THOUGH.

YEAH, YOU TOO.

AND THAT MOVIE PART, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT, I KNOW IT.

THANKS.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

[DUSTIN]: BUT THE GOOD TIMES COULDN'T LAST.

WE WERE ALL GROWING UP TOO FAST.

THINGS WERE BOUND TO IMPLODE EVENTUALLY...

[DUSTIN ON VIDEO]: PARTY ON, DUDE!

[ERIC, BEHIND CAMERA]: PARTY ON.

WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

[ERIC]: HEY, DUDE, WHAT DID PETER SAY ABOUT ME PLAYING TORI'S EX-BOYFRIEND?

[DUSTIN, COUGHING]: UH...

[PAUSES VIDEO]

YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

A REAL FRIEND WOULD'VE GOTTEN ME SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST A STUPID EXTRA JOB.

THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON YOU HUNG OUT WITH ME?

IT'S NOT PERSONAL.

IT'S JUST SHOWBIZ.

I TRUSTED YOU!

HEY, BACK OFF, OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL SEND COPIES OF THAT TAPE TO EVERY NEWS SHOW OUT THERE.

WHAT IF I DON'T CARE?

YOU CARE.

'CAUSE ONCE THIS GETS OUT, YOU'RE DONE.

YOU'LL GET FIRED, AND YOU'LL BE NOTHING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

YOU'RE NOBODY WITHOUT SCREECH.

HEY, YOU TAKE CARE OF ME, THE NETWORK WILL NEVER SEE THIS.

I JUST WANT A PIECE OF WHAT YOU'VE GOT, D.

YOU'RE LIVING THE DREAM.

OUT AT CLUBS, DATING CELEBRITIES, GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE.

THEY'RE TURNING INTO YOUNG HOOLIGANS.

THEY'RE JUST BEING TEENAGERS.

YEAH, WELL, I WISH THEY'D STOP.

[CHUCKLING] THEY WON'T.

TRY NOT TO GLOAT SO MUCH.

THEY'RE ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD KIDS.

IT COULD'VE BEEN MUCH WORSE.

SO, WHAT DO WE DO?

WE LET THEM GROW UP.

WE SEND THEM, AND THE SHOW, OFF IN STYLE.

YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN MIND.

KIDS AROUND THE WORLD FEEL LIKE THEY'VE GONE TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH THESE SIX CHARACTERS.

SO LET'S GIVE THEM WHAT THEY'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

[CHUCKLES AND SIGHS]

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

HUH, I LOOK PRETTY SMART RIGHT NOW, HUH?

HMM. YEAH.

HMM.

[LAUGHS]

I LOOK RIDICULOUS.

[LAUGHING]

REALLY?

THE LAST EPISODE HAD TO BE ABOUT BALLET?

WE COULDN'T DO A CAR CHASE OR SOMETHING?

THEN IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SAVED BY THE BELL.

HEY!

WE'RE BACK!

OH, MY GOD.

[LAUGHING AND SQUEALING HAPPILY]

-HOW ARE YOU? -YOU LOOK GREAT.

BALLET. BALLET SCENE.

-HEY. -SO GROWN UP IN THAT HAT.

YEAH. YOU LOOK IT.

I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU IN MONTHS.

I KNOW, I MEANT TO CALL, I JUST.... IT'S CRAZY.

I'M SURE YOU'VE BEEN BUSY.

NOT THAT BUSY.

OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. [LAUGHING IN DELIGHT]

[CLEARING THROAT]

WOW.

LOOK AT THAT.

NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE COULD PULL THAT OFF.

RIGHT? IT'S FUNNY.

YEAH, BUT YOU, UH, YOU LOOK AMAZING.

AW. YEAH, YOU TOO.

YOUR HAIR, IT'S...

YEAH, DARKER, A LITTLE BIT.

I LIKE IT.

I WAS REALLY EXCITED TO HEAR YOU GUYS WERE GONNA COME BACK AND DO THIS.

YEAH, I'M GLAD THEY ASKED.

TRUTH IS, I MISSED BEING HERE.

ANYWAYS, THAT CAP AND GOWN MAKES YOU LOOK PRETTY SMART.

RIGHT?

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS JUST SAYING.

OH, YOU GUYS, LOOK AT US, ALL TOGETHER AGAIN!

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE HAPPY OR SAD.

IS IT REALLY OVER?

UH... WHERE'S DUSTIN?

HE'S PROBABLY PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IN HIS DRESSING ROOM.

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.

[LAUGHTER]

I'LL GO FIND HIM.

HEY, THERE YOU ARE. I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.

THE READ-THROUGH IS ABOUT TO START.

WHAT'S UP?

YOU CARE?

YEAH, I DO.

LOOK, I KNOW, UH, I KNOW THINGS HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN EASY FOR YOU HERE.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, YOU WERE THE YOUNGEST, AND--

THE WEIRDEST.

[CHUCKLES]

YEAH, MAYBE THAT, TOO.

DUSTIN, I'M SORRY IF I WAS EVER A JERK TO YOU.

THAT WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, STUPID KID STUFF.

BUT... I AM SORRY.

THANKS.

NOW TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.

YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

YEAH.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

OKAY, YOU KNOW THAT GUY ERIC?

WHAT, THE EXTRA?

YEAH. NEVER LIKED THAT GUY.

YEAH, WELL...

YOU WERE RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, LET'S GET STARTED.

WELCOME BACK, LADIES.

I DON'T HAVE A ZACK OR A SCREECH.

I'LL SEE IF I CAN FIND THEM.

WHOA, OKAY, LOOK, DUSTIN, THIS GUY IS A DOUCHEBAG.

YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE NETWORK.

TRUST ME, THEY'RE GOING TO WANT TO PROTECT THEIR INVESTMENT.

YEAH?

ABSOLUTELY.

THEY WILL BURY THAT GUY IN LAWSUITS.

HE WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT HIM.

I JUST FEEL SO STUPID.

DON'T.

THE GUY WAS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

GUYS, EVERYBODY'S WAITING FOR YOU.

YEAH, JUST ONE SEC.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE PLAYED BEST FRIENDS FOR FIVE YEARS.

THIS MAY BE THE LONGEST CONVERSATION WE EVER HAD.

[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY]

YEAH.

WELL...

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, RIGHT?

COME ON, WE'VE GOT A SHOW TO DO.

[HUM OF BUSY CROWD]

I THINK YOU ALL KNOW HOW PROUD I AM OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.

WHEN WE STARTED THIS, A LOT OF PEOPLE THOUGHT WE WERE CRAZY.

BUT WE PROVED THEM WRONG.

WE CREATED SOMETHING UNIQUE THAT TOUCHES PEOPLE'S HEARTS.

WE MADE THE WHOLE WORLD SIT UP AND TAKE NOTICE.

WE'RE NOT GONNA WORRY ABOUT ALL THAT NOW, THOUGH.

I WANT YOU TO GO OUT THERE AND DO WHAT YOU DO BEST, MAKE THEM LAUGH.

[LAUGHING AND SNIFFLING]

COME ON.

[ALL CHUCKLING TOGETHER]

[APPLAUDING]

YOU ARE THE GRADUATING CLASS OF 1993!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

LISA TURTLE.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[***]

JESSICA SPANO.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[***]

KELLY KAPOWSKI.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[***]

A.C. SLATER.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[***

SAMUEL "SCREECH" POWERS.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[***]

ZACK MORRIS.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

[***]

WHOO!

[ALL CHEERING IN EXCITEMENT]

[CHEERING]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REALLY OVER.

OH, I WOULD IMAGINE THIS IS FAR FROM THE END FOR SAVED BY THE BELL.

CALL ME MONDAY.

WE'LL TALK.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

TIME OUT!

YOU PROBABLY KNOW SHE WAS RIGHT, IT WASN'T QUITE THE END WE ALL IMAGINED IT WAS.

THE NETWORK BROUGHT THE GANG BACK TOGETHER FOR THE COLLEGE YEARS, BUT THAT SHOW DIED AFTER ONE SEASON.

OUR FINAL CANCELLATION.

NOBODY EVER WANTED TO SEE US GROW UP.

WE ALL WENT ON TO DO OTHER THINGS.

LARK'S NEVER STOPPED ACTING, WORKING IN SOAP OPERAS, TV SERIES, MUSIC VIDEOS.

MARIO'S DONE COMEDIES, DRAMAS, TV, AND MOVIES, AND YOU MIGHT KNOW HIM BEST AS THE LONG-RUNNING HOST OF EXTRA!

ELIZABETH...

FINALLY ACHIEVED HER DREAM OF BEING IN THE MOVIES.

SHOWGIRLS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HER BIG BREAK.

IT DIDN'T EXACTLY WORK OUT THAT WAY, BUT SHE BOUNCED BACK, AND SHE HASN'T STOPPED WORKING SINCE.

SHE EVEN APPEARED ON BROADWAY.

TIFFANI DROPPED THE "AMBER"

AND WENT ON TO PLAY BAD GIRL VALERIE MALONE IN BEVERLY HILLS, 90210.

IT TOOK MARK-PAUL A FEW YEARS TO SHAKE THE WHOLE ZACK MORRIS IMAGE, BUT HE LOST THE BLOND HAIR, AND CHANGED HIS IMAGE AROUND TO PLAY A TOUGH COP ON NYPD BLUE.

AND ME?

I GUESS SOME PART OF ME WILL ALWAYS BE SCREECH.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M OKAY WITH THAT.

TIME IN.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

OKAY, EVERYBODY, THAT IS A WRAP!

[CROWD ROARING]

[WHISTLES AND CHEERS]

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