The Wild (2006) Script

So there I was, face to face with the biggest, meanest leopard on this side of the Serengeti. And...

You roared so loud, his spots flew clean off.

Dad, I've heard this like a billion times.

Do you know the one where I made the laughing hyenas...

Cry? Yep.

The croc attack? Dad.

OK. Think.

Yeah, you do that.

All right, Mr. Smart Guy, here's one I know you haven't heard.

It all started in the little place I like to call...

...the wild.

They were the fastest wildebeests on the savannah.

We're talking fast.

All the other lions had given up the hunt hours ago, except your old man.

Fortunately, I knew a short cut.

I thought I had 'em. Until the dust cleared.

Classic wildebeest trap.

So, what did you do next?

- What did I do? - Yeah.

That's when I gave them the roar.

- That's it? - Hold on a sec.

I only thought it was over.

But they had a secret weapon.

He was the biggest wildebeest I've ever seen.

- He was 14 feet tall! - Fourteen?

I meant 1,401 feet tall!


And he had two... No, four of the biggest horns I'd ever seen.

Whoa! - His breath was red hot!

I mean, green.

And he hated the environment.

To pull this off, I knew I was gonna have to dig deep, deeper than I ever had before.

So I swallowed my fear, sucked in the biggest breath I could.

Dad, I'm ready!

- You got it? - I got it!

I got it! Well, let him have it!

Roar, son!

Story of my life.

Your roar stops a herd of wildebeests. Mine makes the babies laugh.

Hey, come on. That was much better.

I'm serious! It dropped half an octave.

It dropped half an octave. And it sure scared me.

Made my hair stand up on end. Yeah, right, Dad.

OK. Let's take it from the top. I'm done for today.

Come on, come on, one more. You were so close.

Maybe it's something technical.

Maybe you're not opening your mouth wide enough. Like this.

Dad, thanks for the technical help, but if you wanted me to roar like you, you'd take me to the wild.

Hold on a second. We've got everything we could ever want here.

Great lifestyle, three squares a day.

It's boring. Boring?

I'll never learn how to roar here. Ryan.

But don't worry. I finally figured out how we can get to the wild. You did?

The pigeons say those green boxes go there.

Those boxes are bad news. Stay away.

But, Dad... I know you're frustrated, but a lion finds his roar... Here.

I'm so tired of hearing that, Dad!

It's a rat!

Get that rat off my baby!

A rat?


Silly, silly rat.

Rats do not got bling like this, lady. You little!

Lastly, that is the ugliest baby I've ever seen!

Benny, stealing candy from a baby?

Stealing is such a strong word. I prefer "liberating."

Hey, kid, heard the roar. Down another...

Octave. Octave!

You ready to cheer me and your old man as we capture our fifth straight turtle-curling title?

I can't even roar. How would you even know I'm there?

So, you really think it dropped an octave?


What the heck is an octave? I heard that.

Rabbit. Cholesterol. I'll stick with the nuts.

I don't know what his problem is, Benny.

He's 11, but he's still roaring at a nine-year-old level.

Little help here, Sammy?

You know what? Maybe you're setting the bar too high, with all those stories about Samson the Wild.

Hey, he's always loved those stories! They inspire him.

OK. I'm not gonna argue with someone who can use my tail as dental floss.

You got something right there. Where?

No, no, other side. Here?

Sorry, Benny. You got it.

Attention, friends.

Stop by the gift shop and get the most popular plush in America:

Nigel, the "I-Like-You" Koala.

Look, honey! The crazy thing talks! - I'm so cuddly! I like you!

That's right. He's so cuddly. And better yet, he likes you.


And the zoo will officially be ours in T-minus three...


...and showtime!

Here I come!

Who put that bar there?

That tickles!

Did too! Did not!

Did too! Did not!

Out of my way, ya bum!

There's that moth-eaten koala!

I've told you flamingos a hundred times, walk.

How about an autograph?! Don't...

Birds! Find the string on his back!

So you're havin' a really nice day! Guys.

Off my co-captain, now.

Sorry, Samson.

That didn't hurt.

I almost forgot to tell you. I'm gonna ask Bridget out finally.

Slow down, Romeo. You are a squirrel and she is...

Perfect, right?

Look, I know what you're sayin'. Believe me, I got my eyes wide open.

Watch where you're goin', you big!


Don't stare at my spots, Benny. My eyes are up here.

Of course. I'm so sorry. Oh, this is for you, honey.

It goes around your left hoof.

Did you get that out of the trash?

You did! You trash-picker!

I'm not a trash-picker. I'm a recycler.

That's a lot more romantic. Isn't it?

Romantic? Sam, come here.

Romantic? Don't mention romance to me, Benny.

I've never had a boyfriend. That settles it.

I accept the job... of boyfriend number one.

Benny, only the female orb-weaver spider will date a male one-twentieth her size.

So there's hope! And then she eats him.

But at least he dies happy.

Let's get Ryan, dude!

Dude! We said that at the same time!


Hey! Hey, Ryan.

Listen, I'm headin' down to the game. I'm gonna see you there, right?

Come on, Ryan. We need you. You're our biggest fan.

Yo, Samson! I'm your number one fan, man!

Thanks, man. Right back at ya!

You were saying, Dad?

Listen. About this afternoon, I was just trying...

Dad, fine. I'll go to your game, all right?

OK. I'll... see you there, then.

Come on, dude.

Dude. Guess who's here?

Eze. Duke.

Man, he always guesses.

We're gonna stalk the gazelles while everybody's at the game.

You in? Let's go, bro!

The Ryanator.

I'm comin' down.

Fish heads! Get your ice-cold fish heads!

Now eyeball-free!

We're into the final period of the curling championships and the penguins are up. Here comes Victor.

What a beauty!

Yeah, sweep!

Heading straight for the bull's-eye! This could be it, folks!

Bo-wango! Yes!

Oh, yeah! That's gonna be tough to beat.

What? "Tough to beat"?

That's just the way we like it, right, guys?

I can't believe this!

If we lose, I'm gonna rip my head off! And yours!

We cannot lose to flightless birds!

Whoa, whoa. No one is losing anything around here.

As long as we stay focused.

By the way, has anyone seen Ryan? Oh! I know!

Maybe he's sulking 'cause he lives in his father's shadow and he roars like a schoolgirl.

Thanks, Lar. You betcha!

Nigel! Nigel! Will you sign my dolly?

Not again. Nigel, ignore them.

I'm so cuddly! I like you!

You're so cuddly! We love you! That's it! I am not cuddly!

I'm a vicious jungle animal from the streets of London!

Fear me! Get him! Get him! Get him!

Help me! Girls! Put him down.

I am not a doll!

Cushy tushy! Leave my bum alone!

Nigel! Get your paws off my girlfriend!

Benny, I am not your girlfriend!

Really nice day!

What is up with Samson's team tonight? Brutal!


Oh, my gosh! Who knows mouth-to-mouth?

I do!

What was that?

Just your daily dose of vitamin Benny, baby.

Get off my nose. - I'm so cuddly, I like you!

Stop saying that! - G'day, mate!


Next year, I should just coach.

Check it. The Thomson gazelle.

Zero to 50 in four-point-five seconds.

The ultimate fleeing machine. There is no substitute.

Let's get a closer look at these slim jims.

Shall we? I think we shall.

Maybe we should just go to the game.

I thought you wanted to be wild. Your dad chased gazelles.

Yeah, if he were our age, he would so be rockin' out with us.

He'd be in there, runnin' 'em down like they were...

Gazelles. Yeah, gazelles or somethin'.

Ready, man?

We'd better not.

Oh, yeah? Are you gonna stop us?

Guys, guys. Here we go!

The whole series comes down to this throw!

There's no tomorrow! It's do or die!

Ya know what I mean.

Guys, I know we're down, but we're gonna pull this out

'cause we're gonna use...

...the secret play. The secret play!

Hey, everybody, guess what? We're gonna use the secret play!

Larry, the first part of the secret play is keeping it secret.

OK. Follow my lead.

I'm going to need a double effort from everybody.

Absolutely, captain. Triple effort if you want, sir.

Good. Ready, and... Break!


On three, dude. One, two...


Now you did it, Ryan.

Feelin' mean, Donald?

Bring it on!

Folks, there's pressure on the big guy!

Ready, Bridget? Ready.

Ready, Benny? Ready!

Samson, it's a shame your little brat isn't here to see you lose.

I can't... hold it!

Oh, no! What are you doin'?

And here comes Samson. Look at that guy.

Is he a beauty or what?

Larry! Bridget! Sweep!

What a recovery!

He's sendin' in Bridget and Larry to do the job!

Sweep faster, Larry! Sweep, sweep!

I am! Come on, man!

Team Penguin is sending their ace, Victor...

Watch it, Victor! Watch it yourself, see?

Nigel, how are we looking?

This could be trouble, folks! Sweep, sweep, sweep.

This is cheating and you will die for this.

I can't hear you, Nigel.

Move left a bit...

OK. Move left and hit!

Larry, no! Tallyho!

What a move!

Folks, we are inches away from the greatest upset in turtle-curling history!

Oh, no! I can't believe my eyes! No!

Looks like Samson might have choked!

Nice! Yes!


Samson and his team have clinched the title!

No, wait! I've called it too soon! What the heck?

The penguins have done it! They're zoo champs for the first time!

Stampede? Stampede!

Please! Stop!

Watch out!

Dude. Busted.


Told you I'd come to the game.

You think this is funny?

You just endangered everyone in the zoo!

I'm sorry. For what?

Chasing the gazelles or costing us the game?

All you do is sit up in your tree and sulk.

If you just... What's the problem?

Is all this because you can't roar?

Ryan, I didn't mean that.

Know what I'm doing when I'm sulking in my tree?

I'm thinking how great it would be if Samson the Wild wasn't my father.

Ryan, I didn't...

'Cause it would make being Ryan the Lame a lot easier.

Ryan, I'm sorry.

Ryan! Please don't...


Bye, Ryan! Thanks for coming to the game.

And you were worried he wouldn't show up.

Not good. No one listens to the squirrel.

I don't know what to do anymore, Benny.

I've tried everything. Everything?

You tried everything? What are you saying?

I'm saying you have to tell him the truth.

I don't think I could do that, Benny.

I mean...

What's he gonna think of me when he finds out?

I don't know.

But if you don't tell him...'re gonna lose him, Sammy.

The green boxes.

OK, they're all loaded up!

You don't think I know that? Get movin'!

I changed my mind! I don't wanna go!



Help me!

Watch out!


Wait for us! Dad!

Ryan! Dad!

Don't let them take me!

No! Ryan!


No! Dad! Help me!


Benny, we need that truck followed. Check.

Get me... the pigeons.

I am wanting snake eyes!

Come on, baby.

Come on, just throw it.


Hamir! You are the great loser of all time!

What offerings must I make, I wonder?

Hamir! Hamir!

Get a grip on yourself!

Benny! I am needing till Friday before I am paying you back!

No, no. It's Ryan.

He's in one of those green boxes and they took it away!

We've got to find him!

That is not good! Not good at all!

I know! I know!

I am telling him, you crazy pigeon!

The green boxes go to the big water where stiff lady with spikes on her head...

Hamir? I can't understand... Spikes!

Just tell me where the green boxes go.

Stiff lady, spikies?

Yes, like my wife says, the truck takes them to her! To her!

Though I hate telling bad news, there is more bad news to tell.

When the sun rises, the green boxes leave on boat-boat and never return!

I am sorry for this. I really am.


No. Not good. Not good.

You always say that.

I keep on sayin' it. No one's listenin'.

Like a broken record here.

OK. When do we leave, Sammy?

Yeah, when do we leave?

It's not "we." It's me. Let's make this clear.

This is now a rescue mission and I am the only one going.

We'll come too! We're not afraid.

Are we, guys?

Afraid? No.

You know koalas. More like "scared of things."

Ryan's like a cub to all of us.

Not that I'll ever have one of my own at this rate.

You know, there's that famous... A koala once said, "We will fight them... with peaches."

Yeah. Anyway.

So we're helping, whatever it takes. You want to leave with me? OK.

If you don't mind being hunted down, shot at...

...stuffed... OK!

...or worse, then fine.

I have a recurring nightmare about taxidermy and spot remover.

Well, they have to catch us before they can stuff us and I'm fast.

Nobody's leaving but me. Got it?

You're the boss. You bet.

You got the big hair. Absolutely.

Yeah, that's good, Sammy.

Hey, way to weed out the weak links.

Now that they're out of the picture, what's the plan?

Don't worry about a thing, big guy.

I got it all taken care of.

I know this city... the back of my paw.

We ditch this truck at Fifth Avenue, couple lefts, couple rights, bada-boom, past Broadway and...

You're there!

What are you doing here?

What? We're going to help you find Ryan!

She said, "We're gonna help you find Ryan."

Oh, great. Hey, guys.

I've got popcorn up my bum.

Do I look trashy in this?

OK, here's my...

Here's my overall plan. Where are we going?

I only have until sunrise before Ryan is taken away forever!

And now I have to worry about you three?

All right, fine. When do we get off of this thing, Benny?

Benny's here?

Yeah, he's right there.



Great. Now what am I gonna do?

Guys! Guys! I think we should duck!

What is she saying?

She said, "Duck down!"


I am not in the mood for a game of footsie or hoofsie or pawsie or...

That wasn't my paw. It was this!

I didn't steal it. I borrowed it.

It'll light the way to Ryan.

The walls are moving.

Right, right. The walls...

The walls are moving!

Larry, hold your breath!

Larry, stay straight!

Everybody out!

All right, don't panic. What we've got to do...

This is definitely not good. Samson!

Give me your hoof! Help!


The garbage! It lives!


OK, anybody? I'm freakin' out.

What's the hold up? Hello?

We're over here, Nigel.

Right. I'll be there in a minute.

Think. What did Benny say?

Couple of lefts, couple of rights.

Bridget, can you see the green lady?

I'm looking, I'm looking, but I can't see over anything for a change.

How far are you away? You in a different continent?

Is that you, Larry?

Up here, Nige.

You're a very furry snake.

Guys... We don't want to draw attention to ourselves.

Dogs. This should be fun for you, Samson.

Nigel! Grab Bridget!

What? Run!

I'm gonna throw up! I'm gonna throw up!

Shouldn't you be tearing them to shreds?

All part of the plan. This maneuver's known as the Serengeti Slip.

Page ten of the Predator's Playbook.

What next?

Page 11?

Go on, you mutts!

Stupid dogs, we could've taken you.

Taken you to a... To a disco!

Larry, improvise!

Larry, that's not helping. OK.

You dogs think you got bark? Well, Samson's got roar!

Show 'em, Sam. Dig deep, Samson.

You're a lion. Be a lion.

Look at that guy!

Sam, they are frothing at the mouth.


Larry, coil! Check!

Sam! I improvised. Now jump!

Down there? Yes!

We're leaving, Larry!

Teensy question, Samson. With those dogs up there, why didn't you just do what you did in the wild?

You know, lionize 'em or lionate them or lionify them?

I don't have time to fight dogs, Bridget.

We have to find Ryan, remember?

What is this stinky place?


...appears to be a human bathing area.

You mean humans don't lick themselves clean?


They're hopeless. It is hard to believe they are at the top of the food chain.

I can't imagine beginning the day without licking myself.

No hurry, but is there a plan?

Of course there's a plan.

We follow this water to the big water, and then we find the lady with...

Larry, either your stomach is growling or something in it is growling.

Wasn't me.


Smooth move, Nigel! Oh, boy! Twins!

OK, Sammy, hurry it up now, 'cause these guys are seeming to have acid reflux or something!

Everybody... stay calm.

Calm? Not good.

Yo. Boo!

I'm gonna say, it looks like you and your crew here are a little far from your borough.

Far from your borough! I love it.

We're going to the big water.

Nigel, show them what we're looking for.

Like this? I think it's in her right hand.

And isn't she blue? I can't do blue.

No idea. You? Doesn't even register.

You're battin' zero, kid. Do the thing with...

Make your bloody mind up.

The big female with the spikes on her melon!

They're tourists.

All right, tourists, listen up. Ya gotta get to Battery Park.

First take the Broadway culvert.

Down the Broadway culvert? What's wrong with that?

They get lost at the sewage plant! Get outta here!

What are you talking about? How would you send 'em?

You're sendin' 'em the wrong way!

The Wall Street culvert is blocked with construction.

That is true. All right.

Guys, you gonna help or not?

Yeah, sure. Of course we're gonna help ya's.

We're one big family, right?

Except for that guy there. He scares the...

You done runnin' your mouth yet, Carmine? Are ya?

I apologize. He never got over being flushed down the toilet.


Follow me, 'cause you four won't last ten minutes in this neighborhood.

It's a jungle down here.

Stan, you know who that is? What? No.

That's one of them talkin' kawana bears!

How ya doing?

I'm so cuddly! I like you!

I've seen a lot of those things floatin' here in the sewer.

That's good! You're makin' me laugh over here.

Just wait for me!

Are we in the right place?

Any place without two hilarious alligators seems a move in the right direction.

Sam, do you see anything up there? I sure do.

Well, well, well. There she is, like Hamir said.

And it's sunrise, which means we're a tad short on time.

Guys, look. We know the box Ryan's in is green.

It's gotta be around here, so I need you to...

Yeah. So we should shout out if we see a box that looks like the ones over there.

It hasn't left yet! We can make it!

Let's go! Hold on, Larry!

Which way now? Yeah, which way?




Ryan's on that thing!

We've got to stop it!

We can't, Sam! I don't care!

No, Sammy, you'll drown! Sam!

I failed. Again.

I only count one failure.

It's big, but it's just one.

Goodbye, Ryan. We're gonna miss ya.

Samson! What on earth is going on?

It's a human and I do not think he works for the zoo.

Perhaps now is a good time to improvise.


Great! One problem down...

Far out.


One disaster to go.

What are you doing? We're headed for the other boat!

How do we steer? Who knows how to steer?

None of us. We're animals. Great!

Hold on, Larry. Do that again. Do what?

Whatever you just did, but the opposite!

But I don't know my opposites!

No, Larry, like this!

I think I've got it.

Well, that was easy.

Oh, dear. Has anyone got any eucalyptus wipes?

This isn't so difficult.

I'm the lion of the sea!

Well done, sir.

Captain of our team and now captain of this vessel.

You're brilliant.

I hate to be Miss Negative, but in this melee, we seem to have lost Ryan's boat.

What, nothing? Nothing. He's gone.


There! Nelson! The green boxes!

You're sure, eh? And there's my buddies!

And my love!

Let's go in!

We'll head away from the sun. No, towards the sun. To the north.

Starboard... Leftboard.

Just follow my finger.

Please. You guys wouldn't know the answer if it fell from the sky and hit you in the head.

Oh, my! It's a bat! It's a bat!

Get it off me! Get it off me!

Benny! Benny?


Are you all right? Yes, my princess.

Benny, you made it!

You're my best friend. Best friends should stick together.

Even not-so-best friends, who knock you off a speeding garbage truck.

Excuse me, but I begged them to go back and get you.

Just so you know.

Benny, could you see Ryan's boat from up there?

Well, it just so happens I saw it heading that way.

And we're in luck!

How's it goin', eh? Canadian geese!

Experts at intercontinental travel.

Hey, birdie, OK, is it true that Canada has lax immigration policies for koalas?

I'll take it from here. My son's out there.

We really need your help. Can you lead us to that boat?

No problem, eh? Just follow us and Bob's your uncle.

Try not to lag too far behind, eh?

Hey, Benny, thanks.

And FYI, Bridget was very concerned when you fell off the truck.

Bet you didn't know I could ride geese, did you?

Bareback. Oh, brother.

Sammy? We going to the wild now?

I think we are, Larry.

I can't take it anymore.

He's taunting us! Listen!

Stop laughing at us, you solar twit!

Captain Bligh, sir! Are the ice cream cones ready?

The crew, they're on the verge of mutiny.

Nigel, please.

If you don't give us ice creams pretty quick, you're gonna walk the plank, sir!

Nigel. I don't care if I drown, I'm getting off this death cruise right now.

Iceberg! Permission to go down with the ship, sir.

Hang on! Stuff that!

Run! Swim!


Look, I'm a starfish.

Guys, look.

Gosh. Must feel like a lifetime since you've been here.

Yeah... a lifetime.

What the heck?

Wow! Look!

They're releasing the green boxes back into the wild.

Larry. Guys, they're putting animals inside the green boxes.

I just can't figure out why.

It's a tunnel to another dimension, can't you see?

They go in... Who is this guy?

It's all right, Nigel.

Think it has anything to do with that?

Hang on a second. Either I'm starving or Larry is making sense.

You're right. Those animals are being rescued.



Oh, no!


We've got to move fast!


Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Where are you, buddy?


I can't believe it! Samson!

I was so close. He was right there!

We'll never find him now! Come here!

Will you get a hold of yourself? Use your instincts.

I don't want to run anymore.

Good. 'Cause frankly, you need a good sports bra.

Ryan? Everything's under control.

Temporary setback. I got it.

I got Ryan's scent! He got it?

I mean, he got it! Let's go!

Hooray! Wait for us!

I'm not designed for this! I want a car.

Hey, guys, I found him! Ryan!

Doesn't anyone knock anymore?

Where's my son? Did he come through here?

Yeah, now that I think about it, he did come through here. Hello?

Come on out, baby lion! Your dad's here!

Well, what do you know? There's a whole pride of lions here!

Funky. I was under the impression you had Ryan's scent, not this olfactory insult.


I had Ryan's scent, but my predator instincts must've kicked in since, you know, I haven't eaten for a while.


You never know when those instincts are gonna kick in.

Excellent. Fantastic!

We get to see the legend in action.

I'd love to, but we just don't have time.

We got the time, Sammy. Just...

And then you do this. And then this bit.

Rip him apart!

The horror.

I can't bear to watch! But I have to.

Go on. Get out of here.

The legend dropped his dinner. Oh, boy.

What's wrong? I'm not good enough for you to eat?

No. It's just I'm allergic to nuts.

Now I get it. You're gonna toy with me?

Beat me up a little, then pounce when I get my hopes up?

How exciting.

Come on, guys. Ryan can't be far.

Hey! I'm not finished with you! I am a delicacy.

My flesh has fruity wood notes!

Watch it, you little hors d'oeuvre. That's Samson the Wild.

You call this wild?

This is a cat! A big, fat, tame pussycat!

OK, that's enough! The pussycat hissed at me!

Maybe I should hide behind the koala for protection.

While we're at it, could you slap me in the face?

No. What are you, a twit?

Ignore him. Don't bother! I'm leaving.

You're weird. Run for your lives!

It's a lion with moral issues!

And I've had it with you too!

Thanks a lot for wrecking my day!

Teensy question.

Or more like a... a sort of a query meets a statement.

That hyrax back there?

It was sort of like you couldn't eat him.

Yeah, and what about those dogs? There was no munching there, either.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're...

A vegetarian? Nope.

That's not what I was going to say. You were going to say...

It's almost like... You're not from...

The wild?

Well, you're right. I'm not from the wild.


I'm just a phony.

Truth is I can't protect you out here.

Please just go back to the boat.

I've got to find my son.

Tell me we're not in a dangerous jungle with an 8-inch squirrel protecting us.

Actually, I'm nine inches, but other than that, yes.

So that means...

We are going to die!

Hey, guys! Guys!

Will the three of you calm down?

How could he lie to us?

We're his best friends. Sure.

Maybe he lied 'cause he didn't want to tell us the truth.

OK, yeah, whatever. Whatever.

Let's just go back to the boat, then.

The fierce, the proud, the wild... Rubbish!

But wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait! Where you goin'?

Stop right there! Stop!

Bridget, if you go, I'm...

I'm breaking up with you.

We were never going out in the first place.

Then we're taking a break.

Nigel! All right!

Hey, listen!

I know you're scared. But at least we got each other.

Sammy's got nobody. He's out there all alone.

And... so is Ryan.

OK, OK, focus, Samson.

He's got to be out there somewhere. You'll find him.

I mean, how big can this place be, anyway?


Hey there, little fella. You're lost too, huh?

You remind me of my buddy back home.

A bloodthirsty monster!

Where? Where?

He's a killer! Get away from my baby!

Calm down, lady!

Won't anyone save my baby?


Ryan! Ryan!


I wasn't meant for the wild.

I was made to nibble and be elegant and to appear in children's books as the letter G.

Come on, this isn't scary, is it?

It's just leaves and vines and...

Oh, that's my foot.

Nigel, keep a lookout back there.

You too, Larry! Okeydokey.

Oh, I see. All right, OK, yeah.

You're giving me the silent treatment. Like I care.

Nigel! I gave you an order.

Would a little "Sir, yes, sir!" kill ya?


That's not funny, Nigel.

He's gone! We're doomed. Nigel!

First Ryan, then Samson, and now Nigel!

I do believe in zoos.

Larry, you're tensing up! I do, I do, I do.

Don't panic. I'm in charge. That's why we're panicking!

I say we fan out and circle.

What are we, peacocks? We don't fan, we run.

Run for your lives, everybody!

Guys, I've got an idea. Why don't we ask them?

It's OK... They, you see, they got hooves.

That means they don't hunt. They graze.

But they're licking their chops.

I'll take the one with the funny knees.

The funny knee?

Benny, no!


Get them.

Just, hey, back off. I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of koala bear.


Excuse me? Hello? Terribly sorry to bother you, but do you speak koala? Sprechen Sie koala?


Could you possibly not go towards the big smoking thing?

G'day, mate G'day, mate G'day, mate G'day, mate G'day, mate G'day, mate What a strange place for a party.

Very good, very organized.

Can I use your toilet?

I'm having a Really nice day Really nice day Really nice day I'm having a Really nice day Really nice day Really nice day

- Why don't you all - Tickle away, tickle away They're frighteningly horrible monster beasts...

...but they're not bad dancers.

I'm so cuddly I like you I'm so cuddly I like you Step-kick, pivot-kick, walk, walk, walk.

- I'm having a - Really nice day Oh, no!

Tickle away Tickle away I'm so cuddly, I like you Good day What is that? I am Kazar.

Leader. Prophet.


And with your help... carnivore!

No! Don't kill me! I've had such a weird life!

This is not fair.

Oh, I get it. A yoga retreat.


You can do this. Use your instincts.

Follow your instincts.

Use your instincts.


Down this way.

This way.

A lion cub.

We must tell Kazar.

It's my turn to tell him. You got to last time.

No, I didn't. Yes, you did!

Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've got to run.

Koalas are very busy bees.

If I could... I'll just buzz along to the door...

For centuries, we've watched our brethren perish at the claw of the lion.

Today, we put our hooves down.

No longer will we dwell at the bottom of the food chain.

Well, yes. I should say so.

There were those who doubted that you'd arrive to lead us.

But I always believed in the Omen.

The Omen! Right. Remind me again?

Sent down by the gods years ago...

Oh, no! Not you!

I'm so cuddly! I like you!

Oh, Great Him, you must lead us in our transformation from prey... predator.

Hold it. I am the Great Him?

The Great Him? Him.

So this is all your fault! That's it! You!

Kazar! Kazar! Don't listen to him!

Kazar! Over here! Kazar! Over here!

How dare you interrupt my audience with the Great Him!

But... but we found a lion cub!

You did? Was he with a big lion?

With big hair? Well, a mullet, really.

Oh, Great Him, you brought two lions with you?

Well, like any Great Him, I travel with an entourage.

Worry not, Your Himness, I shall have Blag bring the lions here.

And he better not screw this up, like you screwed up my dance number!

I lost count for one verse.

Step-kick, pivot-kick, walk, walk, walk.

Why do we even bother rehearsing?

A good chorus line is so hard to put together.

Take to the skies!

We're taking! We're taking!

Find them! Yes, sir.

Bring us those lions!

The gods celebrate the fulfillment of the prophecy.

We stamp our hooves in praise of the Great Him!

Holy moly!

Holy moly Holy moly You are our king!

Looky, looky who's there.



Sorry we're late for dinner!

That's pathetic!

Get off!

That didn't hurt! Stop!

Ryan! No!

I'm coming, son!


Help! Let's scram!

Ryan! What are you doing here?

I can't believe it! I found you. How'd you find me?

Are you all right? Are you hurt?

Your paw. I got trapped in that box.

It's OK, son.

And then I escaped, and I ran into the jungle...

...then those vultures came and tried to kill me.

You wouldn't have been scared. I was.

I have to tell you something. What?


Get 'em, Dad! Run!


Dad, you should be chasing them!

Like you used to! Those were just stories!

But now's your chance to show me for real!

This way!

Dad? What's goin' on? Just get up into that tree!

I think we lost them. What's the deal?

They're just a bunch of wimpy donkeys!

You could kick their rumps!

Ryan, I can't fight them. You donkey-chickens! Get back here!

Ryan! I can't fight them.

What do you mean?

I was young...

...still just a cub.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Children of all ages.

Samson! Swallow that fear and stand tall!

Witness the greatest day in our young lion's life!

The day he discovers his roar!

Dad, I can't do it!

Now, go!

Listen as Samson unleashes a roar so mighty, it launches a wildebeest clear off the savannah!

Samson! Dig deep!

I should have known.

If you'd been born in the wild, you'd know how to roar.


Dad! Dad!



When they shipped me to the zoo, I never wanted anyone to know where I came from. Especially those closest to me.

I should have told you sooner.

But... all those stories you tell?

I'm so sorry, Ryan.

Everything you told me was a lie?

Dad! Hang on, son.



Ryan! Run!

Not so fast, Tigger.




Help! Ryan.

Help! Dad!

Ryan. Dad! Help me!


Wait! What? What? Wait!

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Get off me!

What is goin' on here?

Stinky does not speak. It rolls like a little ball.

Wait. You guys think I'm a?

- Achtung, Stinky! Less talk, more roll.

- Ja. Roll! Roll!

What the? Hey!

Rolling the dung is good for tight buns!

I'll give you something to roll about!

It's a good thing Bridget didn't see that!

Bridget? Larry! They're gone.

I gotta find them!

No! I gotta find Samson first!

No! First...

Sam. Sam!

Bridget! Larry!

Oh, Ryan! You're alive!

Good to see you guys.

Where's my hug? Larry.

There it is. It's good to see you too.

What are you guys doing here?

We came here with your father to find you.

And he's probably out there right now lookin' for us.

I wish he were.

But some of these wildebeests pushed him off a cliff.

What? What?

I don't think he made it. I don't see how he could.

Oh, Ryan.

I'm sorry I got you into this.

Kazar, I think you'll be very pleased with what I brought you.

What's this? Where's the other lion?

Right. Well, I was gonna tell you, there was this cliff and...

Why are you looking at me like that?

That's twice you've been out of step today, Blag!

You klutz.

You know we can't ascend to the top of the food chain until we eat a lion!

Well, at least there'll be enough for my ascension.

What about the rest of us?

Step-kick, pivot-kick!

Ouch! I twisted a hoof!

You work and you work. Then they break your heart.

There goes my career! Prepare the sacrifices!

Why did I let him go off by himself?

He couldn't catch a cold, much less his own lunch.

Bet I could catch you.


My natural predator is fuel inject... What?

I knew you weren't really gone. I knew it!

Come on, I knew it! We're still buddies, right?

I lost Ryan.

There were too many. They just took him.

Who? Who took him?

Wildebeests. The freaks with the hooves!

They got Larry and Bridget too.

Couldn't fight, couldn't...

Come on, Sam. You're a lion.

You come from a long line of kings.

Yeah, maybe you're not from the wild.

But fighting's in your blood!

No. I'll never be a real lion.

Wrong! You are a real lion.

Doesn't matter where you're from:

Zoo, jungle, goldfish bowl.

It's what's in here.

That determines who you are!

At least, that's what you always told your son.

Now he's out there, Sammy, and he needs you.

Who else is gonna teach him how to roar?

That's it, Sammy.

That's it.

Let's go find my son... and my friends.

Yeah! Nothing's gonna stop us!

Except that we have no idea where we're going!

Follow your instincts.

Follow your instincts.

What is that? My... instincts?

Benny? You're almost there.

That settles it, then.

My mother definitely drank pool water when she was pregnant with me.

Benny, look.

The freaks with hooves!

Ryan's in there.

You can't just barge in. That's suicide!

Benny, get out of my way! Don't listen to the rat.

Hey, who are you calling a rat? You, of course.

You'll give away our position. I'll have you written up for that!

Fool! You blew our cover! Men! Scatter!

Not so fast!

Look who I got, Sammy. It's your lion instincts.

Who are you guys?

Our names aren't important. I'm Cloak. He's Camo.

We're covert agents. Why have you been leading me around?

That's classified. Top-secret.

The wildebeests have gone mad. Cloak.

It's not like I told them our plan is to use them to defeat Kazar's...

Listen, just tell me, did they take my son in there?

That's need-to-know. They did.

They think the koala's a god. You're the worst covert agent!

Oh, yeah? Then why can I do this? Men!

Hey! No! Stop! Sammy!

Idiot! That maneuver's confidential. It's secret. This one's confidential.

Cloak! And this one's restricted.

Super-secret. Top-secret. This is ultra-secret!

Enough! No more!

Show 'em the super-top-secret "no more?" Gotcha!


I got an idea.

Who is this Great Him, anyway? I'll take him on.

I'm the Great Her! I'll show Him a thing or two.

I'm from New York City, for Pete's sake.

Oh, my.

You have got to be kidding me.

Nigel, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I will kick your... Silence!

Why, you little...

Silence, again!

You do not speak to me!

Nigel, what's the deal?

Great Him, shall we prepare the feast?

Yes, we shall! What's on the menu?


Oh, no.

Eat friends and be god, don't eat friends...

God, friends, god, friends. God, I...

Well, that was subtle.

Prepare the meat fire!


We cannot cook them without...


Onions. Onions. Onions.

Well, that was fast.

Let the ritual begin.

Move it!

I am so mad at you!

Wait! We also need... hats!

Do we not have the party hats of death?

I've got mine!

And before the feast, we must all...

What the?


...and spin uncontrollably!

And feel a bit sick.

How do I stop this thing?

Guys. Benny?

Look, a squirrel! Larry!

We've got a plan. Follow me.

We? I can fly!

Oh, Great Him, we are humbled by your power.

Be humbled. Only the Great Him can do this!

Volcanic gas! Our cover's blown!

Major malfunction! Abandon ship!

Oh, boy. Well, about time you got here.

Great Him, it's another miracle!

You've delivered us a real lion!

Blag, your luck has turned.

Thanks to the Great Him, we shall all ascend tonight.

Nigel, we've got to create a distraction.

Hang on a sec!

I've got miracles comin' out my ears!

Ready? Stand back... the Great Me attacks the lion over 73 times my size!

Dad? My dad's alive! Guys, my dad made it!

Ryan, no! Hurry, I got to see him!

Whack, whack, whack!

Dad! What? Ryan!

I planned this. Ryan, no!

At long last, the cosmic balance has shifted.

Stay close. Prey has become predator!

And predator has become prey!

And the hoof finally trumps the claw!

Come on, Dad! Let's show these turkey-jerkies who's at the top of the food chain!

Let's eat the brat first.

Over my dead body!



He's gonna kill Samson if we don't do something!

Why don't we use the secret play?

I know. Shut up, Larry. That's stupid.

No! It's brilliant!

They laughed at me when I spoke of the Omen.

But look who's laughing now!

Little to the left. Yeah. No! Little to the right!

Next floor: bottom of the food chain!



We gotta find something bigger!

I know where we can find something bigger.

Ready, Ryan? Dig deep!

You should have stayed at home.

Now our shrine will become your tomb.




I don't typically eat dessert before the main course!

Get away from my son!


Ryan, are you still with me?

It's OK, Dad. I just want you to know I'm sorry you didn't have a father like the one I have.


How touching.

But then, last words usually are.

Finish them.

What are you doing?

I command you to attack them, like true predators!

We're tired of pretending to be something we're not.

But most of all, we're tired of you.

Blag. Fine.

I'll kill them myself!

Dad, remember what you always told me in your stories:

Dig deep.

Oh, yeah, baby!

Let's go.


Come on, let's get out of here! Get out of here!

And for the record, I've always hated your choreography.

It's so... '80s.

That's right! Run!

Run like the cowardly prey that you are!

I will hunt you down!

Everyone! To the boat!

Top of the food chain, Ma!

Top of the food chain...

I'm so cuddly! I like you! I'm so cuddly! I like you!

I'm so cuddly! I like you! I'm so cuddly!

Hurry! We're never gonna make it!

Push, you crazy, hairy monsters! Push!

Larry, throw it in reverse! Reverse throwing!

At least I saw the wild before it disappeared.

I can still see it. It's right...

Here. I found my roar.

We both did, son.

You know, Dad, this'll be our first story of Samson and Ryan the Wild.

I don't think anybody's gonna believe it.


I'm so cuddly!

Cuddly! I'm so cuddly!

I know you're cuddly. But can you float?

- I'm having a - Really nice day Really nice day Really nice day Step-kick left!

Really nice day Step-kick right!

Splendid. No! Smashing. Hey!

Stupendous! Are you guys sure about this?

Operation Snake-Over is now complete.

Hey, look, everyone! I'm a secret agent!

Bridget, I get it. You're more than a tall, lanky goddess.

You're a strong, independent female.

You don't need to be defined by your relationship and I, I respect that. It's about time.

What was that?

Just your daily dose of vitamin Bridget, baby.

Oh, yeah yeah!

Really nice day Really nice day Look out!

Step-kick, pivot-kick, walk, walk, walk.

Yes! Did y'all see that? Check this!

Go, Blag! Go, Blag! Go, Blag!

Hey, Blag.

No parkin' on the dance floor. Parkin'?


Make some room there, big guy!

Really nice day Really, really nice day Yeah!

Pretty crazy, right? Pretty wild!

Well, technically, it...

It's awesome.

Yes, right.

I was just gonna say that. Come on! Everyone!

This is gonna be a long ride home.

I'm havin' a Really nice day Really nice day, really nice day

- I'm having a - I'm so cuddly, I like you G'day

What are you doing this for? What, do you think it's funny?

Just get out.

Sorry about that, everybody. Sorry.


Do carry on.

Come on!

All right, everybody exit in an orderly...

All right, single file! Keep it...

I seem to do a lot of falling and screaming in this adventure.