The Wiz (1978) Script

Hello, there. This is my son. Good to see you.

Hello, Gil. How you doin'?

Dorothy, this here's Gil Warren.

Gil Warren, hi. lt's so good to see you.

Don't worry, Gil. She's just a little shy. l got you.

Auntie, I brought you some tea.

Look! Here they come! Come on, they're coming ! Look!

(CHATTERlNG)

(CRYlNG)

(LAUGH lNG)

Move, now, we're getting ready to set the table, you all.

Take these checkers someplace else.

Come on, sweetie.

Here, you take these checkers.

Come on, Henry, be careful, now.

Come on.

Take your uncle's checkers.

Oh, man, you always drop the checkers when l'm. . .

That's the way you win games!

Why do you have to drop. . .

Toto! Toto. . .

There you go. You're such a. . .

(lN DlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG)

(SlNGlNG) Put your arms around me, child Like when you bumped your shin Then you'll know l love you now As I loved you then Though you may be trying sometimes and I'll need you and you're not there You know I may get mad and turn away But you know that I still care Don't lose the feeling that we have Though you're growing older now And l'm watching you grow

(CH EERlNG) l know I make you sad sometimes And I see your feelings show

But one day I'll look around And you will be grown You'll be out in the world, such a pretty girl But you'll be on your own And l'd like to know it's there The feeling that we have Knowing that you can come to me Whenever you are sad Child, l'd like to know it's there The feeling that we have Don't lose the feeling that we have

(SlNGlNG) Lose it, Iose it

l don't even know the first thing About what they're feeling What am I afraid of?

Don't know what l'm made of Can I go on not knowing?

Feeling. . .

Something tells me that it's more than I can deal with

Though I never knew the song Some words still catch on Like caring And sharing Being together No matter Can I go on not knowing?

Don't know what l'm made of Why am I afraid of feeling?

Feeling. . . lf I dared to take a chance Would someone lead me?

MAN : (ON TV) Emergency snow alert is now in effect.

No automobiles are to be driven without snow tires or chains.

Winds up to 45 miles per hour. . . (TU RNS OFF TV)

That was a great dinner, Emma.

(CH UCKLES)

That baby. . .

You're a grandpa.

Our daughter's fine.

But Dorothy. . .

Give it time, honey. Give it time.

(CH UCKLlNG)

Those dishes ain't gonna wash themselves.

Mrs. Warren's son looks real fine, don't he?

Aunt Em, please, no more matchmaking.

Did you make the decision about that new school yet? lt's no decision to make.

But, honey, it's a chance for you to teach in a high school.

Get away from that kindergarten once and for all. lt's more money.

But besides the money, it's a chance for you to be with older students.

Almost adults. l like it with the kids, Aunt Em.

Oh, I know you do, honey.

And you're a fine teacher, but that's why l think you'd enjoy teaching high school.

Have a chance to be with the students for four years. lt's such an important time in their development.

l'm really happy with the kids, Aunt Em.

But you've been there for three years already. lt's time you got out of that sandbox and into some new people, new neighborhood.

Girl, do you know you're 24 years old, and you've never been south of 125th Street? Never been south of 125th Street.

(LAUGHS) Well, you haven't.

Oh, here we go again.

Why do you get me so worked up that l'm beginning to sound like a Jewish mother? l can't see how going south of 125th Street ever made anybody's life better.

And you're never gonna know unless you try, are you?

Come on, Aunt Em, let me do that. Why don't you go and relax? l can do. . . Let me do that.

Listen, I know getting out in that world ain't easy.

Leaving Uncle Henry and me. . .

But we'll always be here for you, Dorothy, and whatever your fears are, well, they'll be defeated just by facing up to them.

Now, you take that new job and find a place for you and Toto. lt's time for you to make a home of your own.

Toto! Oh, Toto!

Toto! Toto!

Toto!

(WlN D HOWLlNG)

Toto! Toto!

Toto!

(lN DlSTlNCT SCREAMlNG)


(SlNGlNG MELODlOUS TU N E)


(DOROTHY SCREAMlNG)

(TOTO WH lMPERlNG)

Toto, where are you? Toto! Toto! Toto!

(WH lMPERlNG)

Toto. Toto.

Toto, Toto, Toto. . .

(ALL CHATTERlNG)

Where am l?

(ALL CHATTERlNG)

(CRYlNG)

(CHANTlNG)

ALL: Two, two, two. . .

Two, four, six, eight! Who do we appreciate?

No! No! Relax, mama.

Lay back, honey.

We just wanna lay a little thanks on you. What?

You know, heavy on the gratitude department.

Gratitude? For what? For curling the curse.

For leveling the leech.

For killing our oppressor.

(EXCLAlMS) I never killed nothing in my life. Never killed a point?

Never killed a pint? A good story?

The umpire? No!

Never killed no time?

(CRYlNG) No, I told you l never killed nothing in my life!

Well, then, I think you just graduated from the bush leagues into the majors, girl.

Toto?

Can you dig this?

(DOROTHY GASPlNG)

Who is it?

Ain't no more "is." Thanks to you, it's a "was."

(ALL CH EERlNG)

She was Evamean.

The Wicked Witch from the East.

BOY: And they didn't call her Evamean for nothing.

She was the Parks Department Commissioner.

Caught us painting on her playground wall.

Turned us into graffiti.

And there we stayed.

Flat, splat and stuck like that.

Doomed as cartoons forever.

Till you burned alphabet through the sky and ended the curse.

And the curseress.

Giving a new lease on life to us, the Munchkins.

Most recently referred to as the cursees.

Toto.

Let's hear it for super witch and her wonder dog !

ALL: Two, four, six, eight! Who do we appreciate?

Miss One!

(ALL CH EERlNG)

(MlSS ON E LAUGH lNG)

Come to mama, you hot little digits!

Let me lay my twenty-twenties on you.

Oh, how I love you. Let me count the ways.

lnnumerable blessings, countless felicitations.

Thank you beyond number and additional good stuff! l didn't mean to. . . l didn't mean to kill her.

MlSS ON E: Oh, don't be at all sixes and sevens, honey.

You did the world a multitudinous service by eighty-sixing old Evamean.

Bottom line, honey, this chick put the "ugh" in "ugly."

(ALL LAUGH lNG)

But she sure had pretty shoes, didn't she?

(EXCLAlMS)

(ALL MUTTERlNG)

l don't want these shoes. l wanna go home.

Oh, I wouldn't discount those shoes, honey, and don't ever take them off until you do get home.

Remember, Miss One told you. Oh, pardon me.

Miss One's the name, and if you haven't guessed by now, numbers is my game.

And now that you've freed us, we can all go back to running our business.

We can all go back to running our business.

We can all go back to running our business!

But where am l? Where am l?

You're in Munchkinland !

The indivisible land of Oz!

Oz?

But where's my home? Where's Aunt Em? Where's New York?

New York?

433 Prospect Place.

(EXCLAlMS) Four, three, three.

You wanna play more than one number today, honey? l got a freedom special, three numbers for the price of one.

No, I don't wanna play any numbers. l just wanna get home!

Oh, well, now that old Evamean's number's up, that leaves only three witches in Oz.

One, myself, but my powers don't amount to much.

And number two, Glinda, the Good Witch of the South.

Oh, she's a real star, but you can hardly catch her in.

And number three, the multi-horrored Evillene, the Wicked Witch of the West, (ALL EXCLAlMlNG)

Evamean's even-uglier sister.

But I don't think it'd be a good time to ask her for a favor, so I figured the odds are only the Wiz could cipher how to get you back to. . .

Where'd you say that place was?

The Wiz?

What's a Wiz?

What's a. . . What's a Wiz? (SN lCKERlNG)

Oh, darling, he's the ultimate.

(ALL CH EERlNG)

The x-quotient, the new math, the common denominator, the main man, the head honcho.

Bottom line, honey, numero uno.

(ALL CH EERlNG)

Where is he? How do I find him?

Catch this number, honey.

(SlNGlNG) Sweet thing, Iet me tell you about the world and the way things are You've come from a different place And I know you've traveled far Now that you've told me what it is

l'd better point you towards the Wiz ALL: He's the Wiz He's the man, he's the only one Who can give your wish right to you ALL: He's the Wizard He'll send you back through time by running magic through you All of the super power's his

Listen and I'll tell you where he is He's the Wiz and he lives in Oz ALL: He's the Wizard MlSS ON E: There's the way to the Emerald City That's not too far, is it?

ALL: He's the Wizard MlSS ON E: Just take your dilemma, child and lay it on the Wizard He'll fix you a drink that'll bubble and foam And in a flash you will be home

ALL: He's the Wiz He's the Wiz, he's the Wizard of Oz He's got magic up his sleeve ALL: He's the Wizard And you know without his help it would be impossible to leave Fantastic powers at his command

(ALL WHOOPlNG)

And l'm sure that he will understand He's the Wiz and he lives in Oz

(ALL CH EERlNG)


Sweet thing, let me tell you about the world and the way things are now l'm gonna point you towards the Wiz

(ALL WHOOPlNG)

ALL: He's the Wiz!

MlSS ON E: Fantastic powers at his command l'm sure that he will understand ALL: He's the Wiz and he lives in Oz Sweet thing, let me tell you about the world and the way things are You've come from a different place And I know you've traveled far Now that you've told me what it is l'd better point you towards the Wiz

He's the Wiz But how. . . How do I get to the Emerald City?

Oh, just count your blessings and cut your losses and follow the yellow brick road.

The yellow brick road?

ALL: Yeah ! The yellow brick road !

Toto!

MlSS ON E: Remember, don't ever take those shoes off and watch out for the poison poppies!

Wait.

(WlN D HOWLlNG)

Miss One?

Miss One!

(SlNGlNG) There's a feeling here inside That I cannot hide And I know l've tried But it's turning me around

l'm not sure that l'm aware lf l'm up or down Or here or there l need both feet on the ground

Maybe l'm just going crazy

Letting myself get uptight

l'm acting just like a baby

But l'm gonna be. . . l'm gonna be all right

Soon as I get home

(CRYlNG)

Soon as I get home

ln a different place ln a different time Different people around me

l would like to know of that different world And how different they find me

And just what's a Wiz? ls he big, will he scare me? lf I ask to leave Will the Wiz even hear me?

How will I know then lf I'll ever get home again

Here I am alone Though it feels the same l don't know where l'm going

l'm here on my own and it's not a game And a strange wind is blowing l'm so amazed at the things that I see here Don't wanna be afraid l just don't wanna be here ln my mind this is clear

What am I doing here?

l wish I was home

l wish...

(CH UCKLlNG)

Wait! Mister, please wait!

(CROW CAWlNG)

(lN DlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG)

(LAUGHS) Succulent and divine!

Delicious and nutritious.

Brother crows, this is good stuff, here! l'm glad you fellows are enjoying your breakfast.

Hey, fellows, is today the day you're gonna help me get down from here?

CROWS: Help you down?

What is going down in that hayloft you call a head?

Didn't we tell you yesterday and the day before that and the day before that?

That you can't get down.

This is your life, buddy, all hung up.

(CROWS LAUGH lNG)

Besides, Clyde, us crows are just thinking of you.

There ain't nothing to get down for.

SCARECROW: But I was just thinking. . . Just once, fellas.

For a little while, just to take a walk in my garden.

Wouldn't that be terrific, fellas?

Walk? You can't walk!

Why, you just a straw paper dummy!

You're right, fellas. l was just being selfish.

CROWS: And stupid, as usual !

But I was reading this morning that most. . .

Oh, man ! Fellas, please!

Look, didn't we tell you reading was a waste of time?

But Bacon, here, said. . .

CROW 1: Bacon? Once over lightly, please.

"Knowledge is power." See, and Cicero, he said. . .

CROW 2: Cicero-row, row your boat. . . He says, "More men are ennobled by study than by nature."

(CROWS MOCKlNG)

Hey, fellas.

No way. Ain't no way.

And over here, especially apropos of my situation, i.e. , stuck up on this here pole.

"Do not accept any situation. Question, argue and explore."

(CROWS LAUGH lNG)

CROW 2: Now, who you gonna believe?

Mr. Nobody, on that old piece of paper?

Fellas, please!

Or your good friends, the crows?

Yeah, who have dedicated their lives to educating you.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Sounds to me, fellas, like old garbage-guts, here, done forgot the crow commandments again.

Fellas, I did not forget the crow commandments. Please!

Run them by me. Run them by me.

"Thou shalt honor all crows!"

Right on, right on ! Proceed.

"Thou shalt stop reading all bits of paper and literature."

Trash, trash !

And the most important one.

"Thou shalt never, never get down off of this here pole!"

CROWS: You got it, Clyde!

And the crow anthem?

l gotta sing that thing again?

You gotta librett it till you get it.

Elucidate.

Reiterate.

And syncopate.

(SlNGlNG) You can't win You can't break even and you can't get out of the game People keep saying things are gonna change but they look just like they're staying the same You get in way over your head and you only got yourself to blame You can't win, child CROWS: You can't win, child You can't break even and you can't get out of the game

You can't win The world keeps moving And you're standing far behind People keep saying Things'll get better CROWS: Just to ease your state of mind So you lean back And you smoke that smoke And you drink your glass of wine Saying you can't win, child You can't break even ALL: And you can't get out of the game

You can't win You can't win, no way lf your story stays the same CROWS: You ain't winning Oh, no But it's nice to see you l'm awfully glad you came CROWS: Better cool it 'cause it ain't about losing Then the world has got no shame ALL: You can't win, child Can't break even Can't get out of the game

You can't win You can't break even Ain't the way it's supposed to be CROWS: You'll be spending your little bit of money While someone else rides for free CROWS: Learn your lesson, refuel your mind Before some turkey blows out your flame And you can't win, child CROWS: No, you can't win You can't win, child CROWS: No you can't win You can't win, child CROWS: No, you can't win You can't win, child CROWS: No, you can't win You can't win, child You can't break even And you can't get out of the game You can't get out of the game You can't get out

(EXCLAlMS) of the game No, no

(LAUGH lNG)

l'll help you down.

CROW: What?

You will?

(CROWS MU RMU RlNG) What's she doing here?

Hey, get her out of here. Yeah.

(SHOOlNG)

Go on about your business!

(SHOOlNG)

(EXCLAlMlNG)

Just hold on.

Now, this is just an experiment.

Wait.

(SCREAMS)

(CROWS LAUGH lNG)

He ain't got no legs!

The results of the first experiment, subject is a hopeless failure.

(CROWS LAUGH lNG)

You are not.

Yes, I am.

You're just a product of some negative thinking.

First thing we have to do is get rid of these crows.

Come on, Toto. Sic them ! Get! Shoo!

Before I call the taxidermist, you jive turkeys!

(CROW EXCLAlMlNG)

Good boy, Toto.

(SlGHS) We can go now.

You okay? Come on. Hey.

(SlGHS)

Oh !

l think l'm gonna make it this time.

You sure are.

Just a little self-confidence and coordination, and you're gonna be fine.

You mean, all this time the only thing standing between hanging up there and living it up down here, were those crows?

Well, they told you you couldn't do it and you believed them. lf I only had a brain, l would have figured that out a long time ago.

There you go with that negative thinking again.

Everybody has a brain.

Uh-uh.

Not me. Look.

Oh.

Garbage.

"lgnorance is the night of the mind, "a night without moon or star."

Confucius said that.

l'm on my way to find the Wiz.

He's gonna get me back home.

Well, that's nice. Thank you, and good luck.

(CROWS CAWlNG)

(STUTTERlNG) l thought maybe. . . Maybe he could get you a brain.

(GASPS)

You think that he could. . .

Yeah, Toto and me, we could sure use some company.

Besides, you have nothing to lose. l don't, do l?

That was so smart of you. l wish l'd thought of that. lndications are it would be very advantageous for me to join you.

(LAUGHS) Good.

We only have one problem.

The Munchkins said to follow the yellow brick road, but I haven't been able to find it.

Yellow brick road?

There it is!

Hey, wait! Wait!

Did you say, "Yellow brick road"?

Yes.

SCARECROW: Look over here!

We don't need no cabs.

Say, what's your name?

My name is Dorothy.

Dorothy and Toto?

What intelligent names. (CH UCKLES)

Okay, Dorothy and Toto, seems like we're gonna have to find our own yellow brick road.

Ease on down. Ease on. . .

Down the road !

There it is.

Ease on down.

Ease on down. . . Down the road !

Oh !

(GRU NTlNG)

Don't you carry nothing that might be a load.

There it is. Dorothy! Look!

(EXCLAlMlNG)

(GASPS)

(CH UCKLlNG)

Ta-da!

(WHOOPlNG) Come on, Dorothy! Come on !

(WHOOPlNG)

BOTH : (SlNGlNG) Come on and ease on down Ease on down the road Come on, ease on down Ease on down the road Don't you carry nothing that might be a load Come on, ease on down Ease on down, down the road Pick your left foot up When your right one's down Come on, legs keep moving Don't you lose no ground Just you keep on keeping on the road that you choose Don't you give up on walking 'cause you gave up shoes, no Ease on down, ease on down the road Come on, ease on down Ease on down the road Don't you carry nothing that might be a load Come on, ease on down, ease on down Down, down...

(WHOOPlNG)

Don't you carry nothing that might be a load Come on, ease on down, ease on down Down the road Ease on down, ease on down Ease on down the road

(lN DlSTlNCT SlNGlNG)


(BOTH CHATTERlNG)

(LAUGH lNG)

Toto!

Ease on down, ease on down. Ease on. . . Ease on down the road.

MAN : Help! Help!

Help?

Where?

MAN : Help! Help!

Over here!

(CH UCKLlNG)

Help!

Hurry! Hurry!

Where are you?

MAN : Hurry, hurry, hurry. Step right up and save a life.

Oh !

(BOTH GASPlNG) l'm in a little bit of a squeeze, brother. Can you give me a hand?

Dorothy.

(BOTH GRU NTlNG)

Oh, how terrible.

Don't move.

Don't worry, l wasn't planning any promenades.

We'll be right back.

(GRU NTlNG)

He's so brave.

He's probably in shock.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to be in shock just once.

(GRU NTlNG)

l'm so. . . l'm so sorry.

No apology necessary. l told you nothing hurts me. l have no feelings.

(GRU NTlNG)

The genius who created me only took care of my dashing good looks, my razor-sharp wit and my irresistible attraction to the wrong women.

What he forgot to add

was a heart.

But everyone has a heart.

Alas, everyone but yours truly.

Hello?

(ECHOlNG)

Nobody home in Soulville.

(METAL CREAKlNG)

Rid of you !

Free from your posterior prison, you hulking she-devil.

(LAUGHS)

Don't hear you laughing now.

We were abandoned here when this park went eI foIdo.

Ah, it was a sad day.

There's not much amusement to the closing down of an amusement park.

But yours truly is an old trooper, and I quickly made plans for the future.

But, alas, l was felled by my fourth wife, Teenie.

Crushed in my prime.

(CREAKlNG)

There. How does that feel?

But that's the whole tragic point, my friends.

(SlNGlNG) What wouId I do

if I could suddenly feel?

And to know once again That what I feel is real l could cry, I could smile l might lay back for a while Tell me what... What...

TlNMAN : What wouId I do if I could feel?

What would I do lf I could reach inside of me?

And to know how it feels to say

"l like what I see"

And l'd be more than glad to share

All that I have inside of here And the songs my heart might bring You'd be more than glad to sing And if tears should fall from my eyes Just think of all the wounds they could mend And just think of all the time I could spend Just being vulnerable again Tell me what...

CHORUS: What, what would I do Oh, tell me what...

What, what would I do Oh, tell me what, what would I do What, what would I do if I could feel?

(EXCLAlMS) l'm just a miserable hunk of junk. Me!

Once the fastest metal mouth on the midway. Frozen. lronically, in a position I had assumed all too often.

A seat cushion for Teenie!

(CRYlNG) Teenie, Teenie, Teenie. . .

Dorothy, are you thinking what l'm thinking?

You're so smart.

Teenie, Teenie. . .

You could come with us to see the Wiz.

He's gonna get me back home, and he's gonna get the Scarecrow some brains.

Maybe he could get you a heart.

You're not just flimflamming an old flimflammer, are you?

Could I come with you? Of course.

"A threefold cord is not quickly broken." (CH UCKLES)

(GRU NTlNG)

What's wrong?

He rusted himself crying.

(MU FFLED) Some oil. Oil !

What? What?

Oil ! Find some oil.

Oil ! Oil ! Some oil !

(SlNGlNG) Slide some oil to me Let it trickle down my spine

lf you don't have STP Crisco will do just fine Slide some to my elbow and to my fingers if you would Slide some oil to me, girl

(WHOOPS)

Don't that feel good Slide some oil to my feet Look at that, l got toes again Come on, slide some oil to my knees And let me see if I can bend Slide some oil to me l'm beginning to feel just fine Slide some oil down my throat and let me lubricate my mind Slide some oil to me Go ahead, hit my shoulder blades Those who don't have to lubricate Sure got it made Slide some oil to me Let it slip down my side Laying there in one position Sure done made me tired Now, watch me dance

Come on, you metal metatarsals, don't fail me now.

(BAN D PLAYlNG)

A-ha!

Fall in line or get left behind

(H UMMlNG)

Two bits!

Let me show you my Saturday night finish.

Oh, music man, let me hear that band Don't turn the water on me, just let me burn And let me lubricate my mind


(LAUGH lNG)

DOROTHY: Come on SCARECROW: 'Cause there may be times when think you've lost your mind And these steps you're taking leave you three, four steps behind TlNMAN : The road you're walking might be long sometimes ALL: But you keep on stepping and you'll be just fine Ease on down, ease on down the road Come on, ease on down Ease on down the road Don't you carry nothing that might be a load Come on, ease on down Ease on down, down the road Come on Ease on down Ease on down the road

(lN DlSTlNCT SlNGlNG)

SCARECROW: Look at me walking. (EXCLAlMS)

(DOROTHY LAUGH lNG)

(ALL H UMMlNG)

Stop the music! Stop the music!

SCARECROW: What's the matter? You need more oil?

No!

That beast,

he's checking us out.

Oh. lt's just a statue.

Made of stone, see?

Now, even a dummy like me knows a stone lion

can't check you out.

(MU FFLED ROARlNG)

(SlNGlNG) Say what you wanna but l'm here to stay

'Cause l'm a mean old lion

(LAUGH lNG)

Now, you can go where you're gonna but don't get in my way l'm a mean old lion You'll be standing in a draft lf you don't hear me laugh

(LAUGHS)

And if you happen to come around Well, you best not make me frown For I just might knock you down l'm a mean old lion

(SNARLlNG)

You know, l'm ready to fight and turn your day into night

'Cause l'm a mean old lion

lf you're half bright you'll detour to the right From a mean old lion And all you strangers got to beware This is the king of the jungle, here

And if I happen to let you slide Don't stand there, run and hide You just, you just You just caught my better side l'm a mean old lion

(GROWLlNG)

Look, you better beware This is the king of the jungle, here And if I happen to let you slide Don't stand there, run and hide You just done and caught my better side l'm a mean old lion

Toto! l'm a mean old lion

(CH UCKLES)

(CLEARS TH ROAT)

How dare you touch the personage of a king?

You tacky package of horse fodder.

Be gone, you overexcited slot machine. (LAUGHS)

(SN lFFlNG)

(TOTO GROWLlNG)

You mangy mutt!

Toto!

(GROANS) Oh !

He bit my paw!

(SOBBlNG)

King of the jungle?

King of the cowards.

DOROTHY: You ought to be ashamed of yourself, scaring us like that.

You big scaredy-cat! l can't scare anything. l can't even scare a scarecrow, or a tinman or a little puppy! l can't scare anything.

(CRYlNG) Oh ! lt's no wonder they drummed me out of the jungle. l-O-B-K.

"l-O-B-K"? lncapable of being king.

(SlGHS)

No, wait, wait! l was exiled in disgrace. l thought l'd be safe here. No one would discover my terrible secret.

That l'm. . .

A lion without any courage!

(SOBBlNG)

"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown."

W. Shakespeare.

Well, I thought l'd seen them all.

But never, never have I seen a lion without courage.

(CRYlNG)

Lion !

Lion.

Maybe the Wiz could give you some courage. lt's a good idea.

Capital suggestion.

Capital. He's gonna get me a heart.

And me some brains.

Come with us to Emerald City. l'd love to, but I can't.

But why?

(CRYlNG) Because l'm scared.

(SlNGlNG) Oh, there may be times When you wish you wasn't born And you wake one morning Just to find your courage gone But just know that feeling only lasts a little while ALL: You just stick with us And we'll show you how to smile Ease on down, ease on down the road Come on, ease on down Ease on down the road Don't you carry nothing that might be a load Come on, ease on down Ease on down, down the road Ease on down, ease on down the road Come on, ease down, ease down the road Ease on down, ease on down the road l gotta get down. . .

Ease on down the road Ease on down the road

(SCATTlNG)

(DOROTHY LAUGH lNG)

(SlGHS)

Mama would be so proud.

Going to see the Wiz.

My mama used to always say to me, Fleet. . .

ALL: Fleet?

That's my name. Fleetwood Coupe de Ville.

(SN lCKERlNG)

Mama had high ideals.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah !

(LAUGH lNG)

(BELLS TlN KLlNG)

l ain't too happy underground, y'all.

How does he do that? lt's just a hoax, my friend. He's got a little motor in his pocket.

(LlON GASPlNG)

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

Lion ! Lion ! Help!

Oh, my. . . Please, somebody! Someone, please.

(WH lMPERlNG)

DOROTHY: Lion ! Lion !

(RUMBLlNG)

(SCREAMS)

Lion !


(GRU NTlNG)

(ROARlNG)

(SCREAMlNG)

(GRU NTS)

(CLATTERlNG)


(SCREAMlNG) Lion ! Lion ! Lion !

(GRU NTS) Dorothy! Lion !

(SCREAMS)

(GRU NTlNG)

(ROARlNG)

Toto! Toto, Toto, Toto, Toto.

Hey! Follow me, quick!

DOROTHY: (SCREAMS) Wait!

TlNMAN : Where's the Lion? l'm coming ! Wait, wait!

Come on ! Let's go!

Hurry up!

This way, this way. Wait for me!


Hey!

(H lSSlNG)

(CHATTERlNG)

(SlNGlNG) Ease on down Ease on down the...

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

My queen, if you'll allow me.

Like I say, you stick with the big kitty and you'll be in heaven.

Out of the frying pan, into the. . . This is like a setup.

SCARECROW: Stay away!

Dorothy!

Lion ! Don't follow them ! Don't!

TlNMAN : Oh, please! lt's a setup!

Stop!

TlNMAN : Come back! Jump! Don't go in there!

(EXCLAlMlNG)

TlNMAN : Oh, Dorothy! Lion !

SCARECROW: Dorothy. Dorothy. l can't move him. l can't move him !

Get Toto. We'll come back for him.

Oh, look. Poor little Toto!

Pity. Oh, sweet little Toto. What are we going to do?

All is lost!

(CRYlNG) Dorothy. Dorothy, please.

Please, don't be dead. Oh, please, don't be dead.

All is lost.

(CRYlNG)

(SPUTTERlNG)

Oh !

(SlNGlNG) How high the moon

(SCATTlNG)

(LAUGH lNG)

What's happening, babe?

Hey, Lion's okay. LlON : Hey, baby.

Come and cry over here. Come on.

Teenie! Think of Teenie!

Dorothy?

SCARECROW: Think of Teenie!

Teenie, Teenie!

Teenie, Teenie. . . (CRYlNG) lt's all my fault.

Teenie, Teenie. . .

Oh, mighty Zeus and gods of the universe!

Why have you cursed this lowly, mangy animal so?

Once I was a king. A lion amongst lions.

Ruler of a beautiful kingdom by a waterfall, attended by butterflies and sparrows, and now, banished for lack of courage. (DOROTHY MOAN lNG) l cannot even protect these friends who have been so kind to me. l was strong and brave in the subway, only to be foolish and weak again. l led us into the very jaws of death !

Oh, let me end it all !

Lion, Lion ! No!

No, let me splatter to the four winds! lt's all right, Lion. lt's all right.

Everything's all right.

The worst is over, my furry friend.

Would you lay an appropriate quote on this poor beastie, brother?

"Showers expected late tomorrow."

(SOBBlNG)

Lion?

(DOROTHY H UMMlNG)

(SlNGlNG) There is a place we'll go Where there is mostly quiet Flowers and butterflies A rainbow lives beside it

And from a velvet sky The summer storm You can feel the coolness in the air

But you're still warm

And then a mighty roar Will start the sky to crying

But not even lightning Will be frightening My lion And with no fear inside No need to run No need to hide You're standing strong and tall You're the bravest of them all

lf on courage you must call Then just keep on trying and trying and trying You're a lion ln your own way be a lion Come on, be a lion. l'm standing strong and tall You're the bravest of them all lf on courage you must call Keep on trying and trying and trying Trying and trying and trying

l'm a lion in my own way

l'm a lion A lion l'm a lion


(ALL LAUGH lNG)

How do we get in?

And how do you do? Good evening, there, brother.

This place is nice.

The service entrance is at the side.

LlON : Hold on, now. TlNMAN : Not so fast. . .

DOROTHY: We're here to see the Wiz.

SCARECROW: Yeah, the Wiz.

DOROTHY: This is where the Wiz lives, isn't it?

(BEEPlNG)

May I welcome you to the Emerald City.


(SAMBA MUSlC PLAYlNG)


(SlNGlNG) l want to be seen green Wouldn't be caught dead red ALL: 'Cause if you are seen green lt means you've got mean bread


You've got to be seen green to show that your stuff's laid lf you're not seen green You'd better be wearing jade

You've got to be seen green Don't tell him your cupboard's bare That you gave up one week's feed To pay for your colored hair


(TRUMPET BLOWlNG)

(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)

MAN: An announcement from the great and powerful Oz.

(ECHOlNG)

WlZ: I thought it over and green is dead.

Till I change my mind, the color's red.

(MUSlC PLAYlNG)


(SlNGlNG) l wouldn't be seen green

(EXCLAlMlNG)

l wouldn't be caught dead

And if l'm caught at all Then catch me in dead red

You've got to be dead red You've got to be real hot So throw away those green gems And wear rubies on your yacht You've got to be dead red

You've got to have flash and flair And if you're not seen red

Then you shouldn't be seen nowhere

(ALL SHOUTlNG)

(TRUMPET BLOWlNG)

WlZ: How quick fashion goes down the drain.

Last week, when you all was wearing pink, already for me, red was old.

The ultimate yellow brick is gold.

MAN : That's the new coIor, children, hit it.

ALL: (SlNGlNG) Golden gold Golden gold


You've got to be seen gold Watch out for the new kind You've got to have old gold like some from a gold mine You've got to be wearing gold The 24 karat kind And once you've shined it up it should ought to make you blind You've got to be seen in gold to show that you're super slick lt helps to pay tips and tolls lt's the ultimate yellow brick

lt's the ultimate Gold

Golden gold Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold

(TRUMPET BLOWlNG)

MAN: An announcement from the great and powerful Oz.

WIZ: Send up the one with the silver slippers.

(lN DlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG)

MAN 1: Do you know how lucky you are?

WOMAN 1: l've been trying to get an appointment for two years.

MAN 2: l've been trying for four years.

WOMAN 2: No one, but no one, sees the Wiz. l always knew you'd make it, dear.

Who does your hair?

MAN 3: Can you come for dinner next Wednesday?

MAN 4: Put in a good word for me.

Can I give you my card?

Can I take you home tonight?

(CROWD APPLAU DlNG)

And. . .

(CROWD LAUGH lNG)

MAN 5: Every man for himself.

(CHATTERlNG EXClTEDLY)

Only the one with the silver slippers.

You go ahead, Dorothy.

He who hesitates. . . Et cetera, et cetera.

l'd like to speak to the Wiz.

(CROWD MU RMU RlNG)

Hey, mike.

(WH lSTLES)

Excuse me... (FEEDBACK)

(ECHOlNG) Excuse me, sir, Mr. Wiz?

WlZ: Speak.

I'm not alone, sir. l'm here with my three companions and my dog, Toto.

WlZ: Forget it. No riffraff.

(CROWD LAUGH lNG)

They're not riffraff, sir.

They're my friends and they've traveled very far to see you.

(CH UCKLES N ERVOUSLY) l said forget it!

Then... Then l'm not coming up there.

(RUMBLlNG)

(CROWD SCREAMlNG)

WlZ: What?

Either you see my friends, sir, or you forget it.

Send up the riffraff.

(SlGHS)

(CROWD MU RMU RlNG)

(CLEARS TH ROAT)


What's happening?

Step forward.

Sure wish I was back at the library.

So you wanted to meet the Wizard?

What do you sniveling deadbeats want?

That's close enough!

My name is Dorothy and. . .

And l'm trying to get home.

And these are my friends. This is the Scarecrow.

(STUTTERS) He wants. . . Tell him.

A brain, Your Majesty. Some of your great wisdom.

And this is the Tinman.

l been a two-bit carnie hustler all my life, and I want a heart, O mighty and powerful Wiz.

A heart so I can love all humanity.

And what do you want, you overstuffed animal cracker? l wanna get the hell out of here!

He wants some courage, sir.

So he can go back to his old job of being king of the jungle.

WIZ: Is this so, Lion?

Anything she says.

Can you help us, sir?

What's in it for me?

We'd be very grateful.

(LAUGH lNG)

How about your pretty silver slippers?

No!

No?

You dare say no to the great Wizard of Oz?

(STUTTERS) But I was. . . So I told. . . l can't take these off till I get back home, but I'll send them to you.

The great Oz has decided not to grant any of your wishes!

Unless... Unless, you, Dorothy, kill Evillene, the Wicked Witch of the West!

The great Oz has spoken!

But Mr. Wiz, please!


(KNOCKlNG AT DOOR)

Come in.

l'm sorry I dragged you all here, and look how it turned out.

Have you made your decision yet, Dorothy? l don't think there's any choice.

Well, Dorothy, you don't have to do it. We could stay right here.

Hey, the Emerald City's not a bad place.

Get a small apartment. Chip in together.

Hey, I bet in no time we'd fit right in.

But I could never be happy here.

Besides, l'd never get home.

l have to go all the way, even if it means to Evillene.

Come on, Toto. Good boy.

Then l'm going with you.

Likewise.

Me, too.

Come on.

Which road do we take?

Road? (LAUGHS)

This one, and you may be sorry.

And how do we find Evillene?

Don't worry. She'll find you.

(GROANS)


(SlNGlNG) Now, when I wake up in the afternoon which it pleases me to do Don't nobody bring me no bad news

'Cause I wake up already negative and l've fired up my fuse So don't nobody bring me no bad news Now, if we're gonna be buddies You better bone up on the rules

'Cause don't nobody bring me no bad news You can be my best of friends As opposed to paying dues But don't nobody bring me no bad news Well, no bad news No bad news Now, don't you ever bring me no bad news

'Cause I'll make you an offer, child That you cannot refuse So don't nobody bring me no bad news Now, when you're talking to me Don't be crying blues

'Cause don't nobody bring me no bad news ALL: No bad news!

You can verbalize, vocalize But just bring me the clues But don't nobody bring me no bad news Bring the message in your head Or in something you can't lose But don't you ever, ever Bring me no bad news lf you gotta bring me something Make it something I can use But don't you bring me no bad news Well, no bad news ALL: No bad news No bad news ALL: No bad news Now, don't you bring me no bad news

'Cause I'll make you an offer, child That you cannot refuse So don't you bring me no bad news Work!

(EVlLLEN E SCATTlNG)

(ALL SHOUTlNG)

Don't nobody bring me no bad news lf you're gonna bring me something bring me something I can use But don't you ever bring me no bad news

'Cause I'll make you an offer, child that you cannot refuse So don't nobody bring me no bad news l say don't nobody bring me no bad news l say don't you bring me Don't you bring me Don't you bring me Don't Don't bring me l say don't Don't you ever bring me Don't you ever bring me, bring me, bring me bring me, bring me no bad news

(BELL TOLLlNG)

(SHOUTlNG)

Work! Work! Work! Work!

Work! Work! Work!

And all lunch hours are canceled !

Oh, please, oh, beautiful one.

We haven't had a lunch hour in six months.

Well, suffering is food for the soul.

Now, suffer!

(EVlL LAUGH)

So no one stopped Dorothy, eh?

All right! Amateur night is over! l'm summoning my flying monkeys!

ALL: No! No! Not the flying monkeys!

Yes, yes, the flying monkeys! l hate to have to do this myself because I can't stand the smells, but these are red-alert conditions!

(GASPlNG)

A hot fire.

(BELL RlNGlNG)

(EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST)

What's happening?

Don't come any closer. l got a little job for you, Cheetah.

Bring me Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tinman, the Lion and the dog, too.

How do you want them? White bread or rye?

(MON KEYS LAUGH lNG)

(LAUGH lNG)

(ALL LAUGH lNG)

(BU RPS)

You get smart with me and I'll send you back to your cages.

Now, get Dorothy, and don't damage those silver slippers!

(SHOUTlNG)

(EXCLAlMS)

War is hell !

Hit it, Morris!

ALL: (SlNGlNG) Don't nobody bring me Don't nobody bring me Don't nobody bring me no bad news

(MU RMU RlNG) l ain't scared. l ain't got nothing to be scared about.

(SCREAMlNG)


Hey, brother!

Not now!

(BARKlNG)

Lion ! Wait for me!

Get back, I told you !

(PANTlNG)

Psst, psst, psst!

Psst!

Psst, psst, psst! We're over here.

Psst, psst! Lion. Hey, brother.

You better get out of the way for me.

(WH lMPERlNG)

Toto! Where's Toto? Toto!

(SH USH lNG)

Toto. Toto. Toto. Toto. Hey, there he is.

Come on, Toto. Toto.

TlNMAN : (WH lSPERlNG) l think we're safe.

(SH USH lNG)

So you're Dorothy?

You murdered my sister!

A saint she was.

And stole her shoes! Give them to me.

No. What?

No!

All right! You. . .

(EVlLLEN E SCREAMlNG)

(GASPlNG)

Don't worry, Dorothy. lt doesn't hurt. lt's just a little rough on my filing system.

(EXCLAlMS)

(CRYlNG)

(LAUGH lNG)

Never fear, my little flower. l'm just a hollow shell !

(CRYlNG)

(EXCLAlMS)

(GROANS)

Don't give up the shoes, Dorothy!

(SOBBlNG)

Would you like sauerkraut or mustard, my dear, on your hot dog?

(WH lMPERlNG)

(LAUGHS)

Toto! Toto! No, don't.

(LAUGH lNG)

No, don't. Don't you dare! Toto, Toto.

Now will you give me those shoes?

Yes! Yes, yes.

That's what I thought.

(SOBBlNG)

Psst.

Hurry up with those shoes.

No, don't touch that! (ALARM SOU N DlNG)

(SCREAMlNG)

No!

Toto.

No! l'm allergic to water. lt makes me melt. No, no. No!

(GASPlNG) Please.

(SCREAMlNG)

(GU RGLlNG)

Please, help! Please, help me with my friends!

Here he is. I got him.

Put him together. l don't care what you do.

Put him down. Put him together. Okay.

Where's his arm? His. . .

Okay, okay, okay. Do something.

Okay, get some tools. Get something.

Tools! A crowbar, a hammer. Don't hurt him.

(ALL CH EERlNG)

(SlNGlNG) Everybody look around

'Cause there's a reason to rejoice, you see ALL: Everybody come out and let's commence to singing joyfully Everybody look up and feel the hope we've been waiting on ALL: Everybody be glad because our silent fear and dread is gone Freedom, you see has got our hearts singing so joyfully Just look around You owe it to yourself to check it out Can't you feel a brand-new day?

(WHOOPlNG)

Hey

Everybody be glad 'cause the sun is shining just for us Everybody wake up lnto the morning, into happiness Hello, world lt's like a different way of living now And thank you world l always knew that we'd be free somehow ALL: ln harmony let's show the world that we've got liberty lt's such a change for us to live so independently Freedom, you see has got our hearts singing so joyfully Just look around You owe it to yourself to check it out Can't you feel a brand-new day?

Everybody be glad ALL: Be glad!

Because the sun is shining just for us ALL: Yes, it is!

Everybody wake up ALL: Wake up! lnto the morning, into happiness ALL: That's right!

Hello, world lt's like a different way of living now Thank you, world l always knew that we'd be free somehow ALL: ln harmony Let's show the world that we've got liberty lt's such a change for us to live so independently Freedom, you see has got our hearts singing so joyfully Just look around You owe it to yourself to check it out Can't you feel a brand-new day?


Yeah!

All right!

Hey!

Can't you feel a brand-new day?

Brand-new day Brand-new day Can't you feel a brand-new day?

Brand-new day


Can't you feel a brand-new day?

Brand-new day Brand-new day Can't you feel a brand-new day?

Brand-new day Brand-new day Can't you feel a brand-new day?


(WHOOPlNG)


Hello?

Where are we?

This must be the back door.

Well, I don't think the killers of the Wicked Witch of the West should be using the back door. You know what I mean?

(ALL CH UCKLlNG)

Cheetah says it's a shortcut.

Goodbye, Cheetah.

Goodbye, Dorothy.

Bye.

lt's open.

Hello? Hello, in there!

Wait.

Wait a minute.

Does this look familiar?

DOROTHY: Guess who got had?

SCARECROW: Barnum said, "There's a sucker born every minute."

TlNMAN : I heard him. l was there when he said it, but I never thought l'd be one of them.

Phony!

(CRYlNG) You're nothing but a phony. l'm out!

The Wizard's out. He's not here. Out!

Lies!

No more lies.

TlNMAN : You charlatan. l've seen men shot for less.

You're a terrible man.

Should I finish him right here? l'm sorry!

Sorry? l'm sorry. l'm sorry. l'm sorry. l'm sorry. l'm sorry.

Phony. l'm sorry.

Everything they say about me is true. l'm a phony. l got no powers. l got no right to be pretending to be the Wiz. l've got nothing. Hocus-pocus. Nothing. l'm just plain old Herman Smith from Atlantic City.

Atlantic City? Atlantic City?

You mean, you're from New Jersey?

Mmm-hmm. l'm just a second-rate politician from District 7.

"Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent."

Penrose.

lncompetent? (LAUGHS) That's me. l'm incompetent. So much so, l could never get elected to public office.

Not because I didn't try. l tried everything.

Look, look. l ran for any and everything.

Alderman, councilman, assembly leader. l became a laughingstock. l couldn't even get on the ticket.

Finally, in desperation,

l ran for dogcatcher.

(BARKlNG) l like animals. Don't get me wrong. l like animals. l was at the end of my rope. l plunged myself into the campaign.

One desperate grandstand play. You know what I did? l rented a hot-air balloon.

TlNMAN : Hot air. That's a perfect vehicle for you.

No, no, no. No. lt was a beautiful Fourth of July day. l planned to fly over the boardwalk and the beach, and throw my. . . (EXCLAlMS)

Throw my leaflets to the astonished crowds below.

My motto was, "Vote for Smith. Your best bet to catch that pet."

But just when I got up in the balloon, a terrible storm came up and blew me into the clouds. l got lost.

l landed here in Oz.

They'd never seen a hot-air balloon like mine before.

And I know I should have told them the truth, but they proclaimed me the Wizard, (WH lSPERS) and I needed the job.

(CRYlNG) And you mean you sent us to kill Evillene knowing we might never come back?

She would've killed me.

She would've found out I had no power, and she'd have took over Oz.

That's no excuse. Come on.

Please! Please, don't go.

l live here all alone in terror

that someone will find out that l'm a fraud.

Please, just stay with me for a little while and talk.

You can talk to me crazy, call me names.

What's the matter?

Now I'll never get my brain.

Nor my heart.

Or my courage.

But you don't need them now because you've had them all along. Scarecrow. Scarecrow?

You're the one who figured out how to find the yellow brick road, and how to destroy Evillene, and every smart move we've made.

Didn't you? Didn't you?

And Lion, you wouldn't even give up when Evillene strung you up by your tail.

And Tinman, you have more heart than anyone l've ever known.

Honest?

Yes.

You never needed anything from the fake Wizard anyway.

(SlNGlNG) lf you believe

within your heart You'll know that no one can change The path that you must go

Believe what you feel

And know you're right because The time will come around When you say it's yours

Believe there's a reason to be Believe you can make time stand still You know from the moment you try lf you believe l know you will

Believe in yourself right from the start You'll have brains You'll have a heart You'll have courage To last your whole life through lf you believe in yourself as I believe in you

What about you, Dorothy? You'll never get home.

Me?

l guess you're stuck with Toto and me.

(BELLS TlN KLlNG)


WlZ: lt's Glinda, the Good Witch of the South. She has great powers.


Hello, Dorothy.

Please. ls there a way for me to get home?

Oh, Dorothy, you were wise and good enough to help your friends find what was inside them all the time.

That's true for you, also.

Home? lnside me? l don't understand.

Home is a place we all must find, child. lt's not just a place where you eat or sleep.

Home is knowing.

Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. lf we know ourselves, we're always home anywhere.

(SlNGlNG) If you beIieve within your heart You'll know That no one can change The path that you must go Believe what you feel and know you're right because The time will come around When you'll say it's yours Believe that you can go home Believe you can float on air Yes, click your heels three times lf you believe and then you'll be there That's why I want you to believe in yourself Yes, right from the start you've got to believe Believe in the magic right there in your heart Go ahead, believe all these things Not because I told you to now Go ahead and believe Believe in yourself Ooh, yeah, believe Believe in yourself Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, believe in yourself as I believe in you

You mean, l could have gone home by clicking my heels three times?

Uh-huh.

WlZ: Dorothy.

Can you do something for me?

They've had what they've been searching for in them all along. l don't know what's in you. You'll have to find that out for yourself.

But I do know one thing, you'll never find it in the safety of this room. l tried that all my life. lt doesn't work.

There's a whole world out there, and you'll have to begin by letting people see who you really are.

Success,

fame and fortune, they're all illusions.

All there is that is real is the friendship that two can share.

That's beautiful. Who said that?

l did.

(CRYlNG) Oh, Dorothy.

l'll think of you all the time.

And I will miss you every day.

Even if I had to go back to that junk pile, even as Teenie's seat cushion, l wouldn't mind, because I have known real love.

Oh, don't rust yourself, now.

Oh, Dorothy.

lf it hadn't been for you, l'd still be back on that pedestal,

afraid to live.

Me, too.

Thank you.

Thank you for being my friends.

l'm ready now.

Think of home.

Home.

(SlNGlNG) When I think of home l think of a place Where there's love overflowing l wish I was home l wish I was back there With the things l've been knowing Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaning Suddenly the snowflakes that fall have a meaning Sprinkling the scene Makes it all clean

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back Now that I have some direction lt would sure be nice to be back home Where there's love and affection And just maybe l can convince time to slow up Giving me enough time in my life to grow up Time, be my friend Let me start again

Suddenly, my world's gone And changed its face But I still know where l'm going l have had my mind spun around in space And yet l've watched it growing And if you're listening, God Please don't make it hard To know if we should believe the things that we see Tell us, should we run away?

Should we try and stay?

Or would it be better just to let things be?

Living here in this brand new world might be a fantasy But it taught me to love So it's real, real to me And l've learned That we must look inside our hearts to find A world full of love like yours, like mine Like home