The Year of Getting to Know Us (2008) Script

That'll play, Ronnie.

Psh. You got all of that one, partner.

Holy cow!

Kid's on fire.

Attaboy, Ron!

Holy cow.

You're having the round of your life, Ronnie.

You can say that again.

CHRlS: My father was in love with golf.

He talked about it like it was an eastern religion on the verge of granting him total consciousness.

[ Breathing heavily ]

He never thought it would do the opposite.

l grew up in a big house.

A big house in a small town.

My father claimed he won our house betting at golf.

He always said he would never live anywhere else.

We had an overgrown putting green in the backyard, a karaoke room in the basement, and three empty bedrooms for all the other children my parents forgot to have.

My girlfriend, Anne, she thinks l've got things from my childhood l have to figure out.

But it was typical.

A mom who was a little crazy, a father who was a little remote. l did spend a lot of time wanting out. l do live in New York now, which is the opposite of Florida in that there's very little golf, and many of the residents are actually alive.

But it was pretty normal, my childhood.

My father played three times a week, rain or shine.

The Saturday game was the big one.

Every Saturday all my life, with two other guys from the Chamber of Commerce and his caddie.

My dad made a lot of money selling cars.

He spent it on caddies and golf shirts... and us, l guess.

When you're a kid, you don't notice that.

MAN: ...and we'll get you a car!

What you notice is he never taught me to play.

He'd talk and talk and talk, but golf wasn't a father-son thing.

My mother didn't play, either.

Her game was listening.

Actually, pretending to listen.

Or maybe it wasn't listening at all.

Maybe it was... hoping. lt was difficult to know exactly what my mother was thinking.

Perhaps devising new ways to cook cow's tongue.

Roasted then chilled on a bed of green Jell-O.

Boiled, peeled, or minced into a creamy sandwich spread.

Whatever it was, there was something different going on inside my mother's head.

Something truly unique and completely terrifying to all the other full-time casserole makers in our neighborhood.

But that's all the past.

My name is Christopher Rocket. l'm 35 years old, and last week l was a freelance writer living in New York.

Now l'm in jail.

This is Anne. She's beautiful, isn't she? l mean, it's dark now, but you'll see.

She's beautiful -- l mean, as a person, too.

Anne's right about one thing. l don't want to get married.

And that probably is a childhood thing. l-l've never seen a good marriage.

So l'm, you know, not so eager.

Surprise!

MAN: Oh, my gosh, Anne. l hate you. l hate you, too.

[ Laughter ] did we scare you?

Oh. . . l'm gonna kill you.

Wait for the swimsuit competition. dead. lt's gonna be good.

[ Sighs ]

-Make a wish. -Okay.

MAN: Make it a good one.

All right!

Speech! Speech! Speech!

[ All talking excitedly ]

You guys are torturing me.

[ Man laughs ]

Well, who would have thought that, um -- that l would become a lawyer at the United Nations, but then have to move to Geneva to actually do it?

[ Chuckles ]

This is really special.

Chris and l were just gonna have a really quiet night. . . of bon voyage sex!

[ Laughter ]

Seriously, this is -- this is really special, and -- l'm gonna miss all of you so much. lt's gonna be really difficult to leave.

MAN: Cheers!

Cheers!

[ Applause and whistling ]

Can't he write anywhere?

And actually set foot outside New York City?

Of course. He couldn't do that.

Well, the posting's only for three years. l'm sorry, Annie. lt's okay.

Mm. l'll call you tomorrow.

Tonight was fun.

-Thank you. -lt was.

You were totally scared.

[ Laughing ] Bye!

[ door closes ]

Were you surprised?

Surprised, yes.

And scared.

And happy?

Yes.

And tired?

Very.

And bed?

Yes.

Good-bye sex?

[ Gasps ] Yes.

Will you put the tiara back on?

[ Laughs ] Now you're starting to scare me.

-Come on! -[ Telephone rings ]

No, no, no. don't get it.

Oh, come on. lt might be one of your many admirers!

Hello?

Yeah.

Yes. This is -- this is he.

What?

When?

Oh.

No, that's fine.

Yes.

O-okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Bye.

[ Beep ]

Who was it?

Chris? lt was the hospital.

What hospital?

My father had a stroke.

What? ls he okay? ls he gonna be all right?

-l don't know. -Well, what did they say?

He was on the golf course.

Apparently, he was having the round of his life.

Annie, l'll only be gone for one or two days. lt's not a big deal.

Chris, it's your father. Of course it's a big deal.

Plus, you haven't seen him in over five years.

And l don't have to be in Switzerland for another week.

Okay, you're right. lt is a big deal.

But you know how things are with me and my parents.

Chris, this isn't about that.

Why won't you let me go with you?

This is just something l have to, like, do on my own. l could take care of you.

That'd be great.

When l get back.

Okay.

[ Sighs ]


That's delicious pudding, hon.

Completely dairy-free.

Ahh.

And yet, creamy.

How was school today, dear heart?

Fine.

That's just wonderful. do they offer any marketing courses down there?

[ Chuckles ]

-What? -Marketing.

You know, sales. do they offer that as an elective?

A what?

Ron, Chris is in the 6th grade.

He studies things.

Wonderful things like -- poetry, and -- music appreciation and -- mathematics.

Well, l just don't know if any of that is gonna do him any good.

Save for maybe the mathematics.

Chris plays the baritone tuba, Ron.

Son. . .

. . .do you realize that this is the marketing decade? l guess.

And you know what that means, don't you?

That means you have to learn to sell yourself.

Okay.

Because you are your own most valuable asset.

Mmm!

Completely dairy-free? l'll freeze the leftovers.

l loved your celebrity cloning piece in Harper's.

You were so right.

The technology is basically there, and celebs are the only ones who could afford it. l mean, who could really bear another Larry King?

[ Chuckles ] Coffee?

[ Scoffs ] How did you, uh, know?

Oh, my God.

This job would be completely insufferable if l couldn't sneak a peek at the passenger list.

My name's Sandi.

Chris. . . Rocket.

Oh, l know. You're virtually famous.

[ Sighs ] Not really.

Let me know if l can get you anything.

Ciao.

WOMAN: [ Over P.A. system ] Attention all passengers...

WOMAN #2: Please point to the type of luggage that most resembles the type of the luggage lost, stolen, or delayed.

Thank you.

Please point to the size of luggage that most resembles the size of the luggage lost, stolen, or delayed.

Thank you.

Please point to the color of luggage that most resembles the color of the luggage lo-- lost, stolen, or delayed.

[ Taps display ]

MAN: l've tried R-O-C-K-E-T, R-O-C-K-E-T-T, R-O-C-K-E-T-T-E, R-O-K-E-T and R-A-C-K-E-T -- there's no record anywhere.

You don't have any more cars? lt's tournament weekend. lt. . .

[ Phone ringing ]

RON: Fore!

Hi. You've reached Ron... dAWN: And Dawn.

RON: We're probably at the golf course, so please leave a message, and we'll... dAWN: Get back to you as soon as we can.

-[ Ball rattles ] -RON: lt's in the hole!

[ Beep ]

[ Monitor beeping slowly ]

[ Beeping continues ]


Um. . . excuse me.

My father's. . .

You must be the son.

Uh, hi. Chris. . . Rocket. l'm very sorry about your father's condition. l need you to sign some things on his behalf.

Shouldn't his wife do this? l wasn't aware he was married.

Of course he is. dawn. l'm pretty sure her name is dawn. l think. l'm sorry. There's no record.

What?

You're the only ''Rocket'' listed in your father's insurance.

You're the only next of kin.

What do you mean no one told you?

JANE: Just what l said. ls she there?

Who?

[ Scoffs ] The new wife. What's her name? dawn, l think. l haven't seen her, but l'm sure she's around.

Your poor father. ls he eating all right?

Listen, Mom, l gotta go. l'll call you when l find out more. l should come there to--

What?

...see him.

He was an asshole to you. l'm not an idiot, Christopher.

Look, l'll call you later, okay?

You might tell him l said, uh, ''Hello. ''

Sure.

lt's called ''Locked-in Syndrome.''

Generally, it occurs after a stroke, but, other than the obvious symptoms, it's still a bit of a mystery.

Meaning what -- he's completely cut off?

Well, not necessarily.

There's no sensory response, but he could have some awareness of his surroundings.

What about his eyes?

You close them, and they spring back open.

But can he see?

We don't know.

So what happens now? ln some cases, a patient can be gone for weeks or months and then snap out of it like nothing ever happened. ln other cases?

[ Car door closes ]

[ doorbell rings ]


[ Knocking on door ]

CHRlS: Hello? dawn?

Anyone home? lt's Chris.

Hello?

Hello?


[ Up-tempo disco music plays ]

[ Music stops ]

There's barely a sign she was ever here.

Why didn't he tell you?

Who knows with my dad?

He must have been too embarrassed.

l don't think that's. . . l don't think he's capable of that.

How are you feeling?

Uh, l'm fine.

l spoke to one doctor but wasn't able to see the specialist.

He was in surgery or golfing or something.

Will you call me when you know more?

Or when l find my luggage.

[ Chuckling ] Oh, yeah. That, too. l hate you. l hate you, too, Chris. l really, really hate you.

Good night.

Bye.

[ Click ]

[ Click ]

[ Monitor beeping slowly ]


JANE: do you see Cassiopeia?

l didn't mean to startle you. l was watching the sky. do you mind if l join you?

[ Sighs ]

Such beautiful names.

Cassiopeia. . .

Equuleus. . .

Canes Venatici.

The Big dipper?

Yes. The Big dipper.

l don't want anyone to keep you from doing what it is you should be doing. l know. l've got to start marketing myself.

Christopher. . . l want to talk to you about limited fame.

Most of the men in history who have achieved fame. . . have achieved a kind of vulgar fame.

Like, Josef Stalin and Chevy Chase.

All of those men had obvious ideas that everyone could understand.

And do you know why?

No.

They all consumed too much dairy as children.

lt takes a special person to achieve limited fame.

Copernicus.

Marcel duchamp.

Michael Caine.

dad thinks l'm my most valuable asset.

He was breast-fed until he was 9 years old.

But you, Christopher, you're completely lactose-free.

You have the perfect metabolism to do anything you want.

All you have to do is choose the direction you want to go. do you want to be Josef Stalin, or do you want to be Michael Caine?

[ Knock on door ]

Well, home again. Jiggity jig.

[ Chuckles ]

Hi, Mom.

Hi, dear heart.

Well, don't you look. . .

Well, you have a little jaundice.

Are you taking your folic acid?

Yeah.

Well, it's just a tonic. Come on in.

Where the hell did you get that shirt? ln a card game or something?

Yeah. l got it at a card game.

[ Footsteps approaching ]

How's that girlfriend of yours? Anne?

She's, uh, accepting a job in Geneva.

And you're just letting her go.

[ Laughs ]

Where are you heading?

[ Sighs ] Belize. l bought a ticket online this morning.

Sometimes it's good to be spontaneous.

Why don't you go with me?

Today?

Spontaneity doesn't include tomorrow.

l think l should stay here.

What a shame. You look like you could use a good jungle walk.

l'm going to go blog.

Blog?

You should try it.

That pulp and paper publication you write for is going the way of the great auk. Pbht.

Hey, Mom?

This ticket says ''Belarus,'' not ''Belize.'' l must have hit the wrong button. l'm gonna have to repack.

The bags are in Seattle? Wow. l was on a flight from New York to Jacksonville.

How long is this gonna take?

Hello?

Hello?

-Hello? -don't bother.

This whole place is like one big cellular black hole.

-[ Beeps ] -l'm not getting anything.

Rocket?

What the -- what the hell are you doing here?

[ Laughs ]

How long have you been in town?

-Nickie. -Oh, my God!

Uh, l just got in. My -- my dad --

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. l knew that. l knew that. l only just saw Ronnie at the club a couple weeks ago.

Why are you friends with that Nickie Apple kid?

A boy who obviously has no idea about sales and promotion.

¿ And she's watching him with those eyes ¿

¿ And she's loving him with that body, l just know it ¿

¿ Yeah, and he's holding her in his arms late, late at night ¿

¿ You know, l wish that l had Jessie's girl ¿

¿ l wish that l had Jessie's girl ¿

¿ Where can l find a woman like that? ¿

¿ l play along with the charade ¿

¿ There doesn't seem to be a reason to change ¿

¿ You know, l feel so dirty when they start talking cute ¿

¿ l want to tell her that l love her ¿

¿ But the point is probably moot ¿

¿ 'Cause she's watching him with those eyes ¿

[ Coughing ]

¿ And she's loving him with that body, l just know it ¿

¿ And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night ¿

¿ You know, l wish that l had Jessie's girl ¿

[ Muffled ] ¿ l wish that l had Jessie's girl... ¿

[ Sighs ]

¿ Where can l find a woman like that? ¿

¿ Like Jessie's girl ¿

¿ l wish that l had Jessie's girl ¿

[ Sighs heavily ]

[ door opens ]

[ Boy retching ]

¿ Where can l find a woman like that? ¿

[ Vomiting ]

¿ And l'm looking in the mirror all the time ¿

¿ Wondering what she don't see in me ¿

¿ l've been funny, l've been cool with the lines ¿ Hi, Chris.

Hi, Kim.

Meet me at Safari-Putt. l want to go all the way.

¿ Where can l find a woman like that? ¿

And you must have been thinking, ''Well, why doesn't he tell us what's happening?

Why doesn't he just speak to us as he has in the past when we've faced troubles or tragedies?''

Others of you, l guess, were thinking, ''What's he doing hiding out in the White House?''

Well, the reason l haven't spoken to you before now is this.

You deserve the truth.

And as frustrating as the waiting has been, l felt it was improper to come to you with sketchy reports or possibly even erroneous statements, which would then have to be corrected, creating even more doubt and confusion.

There's been enough of that.

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

First, let me say l take full responsibility for my own actions and for those of my administration.

As angry as l may be about activities undertaken without my knowledge, l am still accountable for those activities.

As disappointed as l may be in some who...

JANE: Hello, dear heart.

Hi.

How was school today? lt's Saturday.

[ Chuckles ]

Golfing day.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Are you okay?

Sir lsaac Newton.

Enrico Fermi.

[ Exhales sharply ]

doug Henning.

Okay.

Bye.

[ Hinges creaking ]

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Gasps ]

Who do you think you are?

Vasco da Gama?

Get these off.

God.

Sorry.

Go take a hot bath.

And for heaven's sake, don't wake up your father.

Go!

YOUNG NlCKlE: Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah!

Switch.

There's a picture of Kim Temple on page 68.

Kim Temple.

She's so into me.

-Kim? -Oh, yeah.

Got to third base with her at my party.

What?

After everyone left, she jumped me!

Practically had to fight her off!

Could have gone all the way if l hadn't barfed.

NlCKlE: Oh, yeah. Your dad. How's he doing? l heard he was having the round of his life.

Uh, yeah.

-Oh, shit. -How about you? l mean, is this -- is this your local?

[ Laughing ] Oh, no. No. l'm just looking for the chick that's driving that sweet PT Cruiser parked out front.

Uh, how's. . . Laura?

Laura? do you mean Lara or Lisa? l. . .

First wife -- Lara. Second wife -- Lisa. l mean Lisa. l meant Lisa.

[ Chuckling ] Yeah. We split up three years ago.

That is a choice shirt. ls that 50/50 or 60/40? l-l don't know.

Man, that is nice.

[ Clears throat ]

So, anyways, l had a little downtime, you know, playing the field.

And do you remember Annette Bowen?

-Sure. -Yeah?

She and l got married last year.

-No. No way. -[ Laughing ] Yeah. l always had a thing for her.

-That's good. Good for you. -Yeah.

We separated six months ago.

Oh. l'm sorry.

Yeah.

So, what now?

Looking for number four.

Already?

Oh, yeah. l love being married. l just. . .

You know, l just haven't found the complete girl. You know?

So what about you? What about you?

-Uh, l live with my girlfriend. -Oh, yeah?

Almost three years.

Oh, whoa. Sorry? Three years?

[ Laughing ] Wow.

That's 2 1 dog years. You need to marry that girl.

[ Laughs ]

Yeah, it looks like marriage might be the issue, huh?

Yeah.

Fuck.

Hey, do you remember Kim Temple?

[ Cheering, rock music plays ]

MAN: Oh. Nice.

[ Hooting ]

Oh, bravo! Bravo!

What an entertainer!

Meet me at Safari-Putt. l want to go all the way.

-Kim! -Hey, Chris!

-Hey! -Hey!

What a surprise.

Hey! Kimmie. You finally made it.

[ Laughing ] Hey!

-How are ya? -Good.

Chris totally thought you were that peeler.

-No, l didn't. -Yeah, you did.

No, not really. l'm afraid to ask if you come here often.

Just when the manager calls me to pick up Nickie.

But you'd be amazed at how many of these girls went to the same high school as us.

-You're kidding me. -Nope.

[ Laughing ]

Oh, my God. l've got to get out of this town before my daughter ends up on that stage.

-You have a daughter? -Yeah.

Yeah -- Erin. She's --

Well, l'll show you a picture -- She's 7.

-No way. -Yeah.

-lsn't she cute? -Wow!

Yeah, she's the one thing Brian and l did right.

You remember Brian Hylton?

Sure. The -- the hockey player.

The adulterer. [ Chuckles ]

Oh. Sorry.

You know what? lt's okay. lt was -- it was over long before then, so. . .

[ Chuckles ]

Anyway, it's me who should be sorry, right?

For what?

For making you wait out in the rain that whole night.

Oh, my gosh. l had such a crush on you.

[ Giggles ]

You did?

What did you think? l-l -- l thought that -- that you and Nickie were --

What, is that what he told you?

[ Laughing ]

Oh, my gosh. l am gonna kill him.

l can't.

Girlfriend.

[ Panting ]

Much better.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Yeah. That feels much better.

[ Chuckling ] Yeah.

Are you two having problems? l don't know. l guess.

Marriage, babies -- that kind of thing? do l have a sign on my back?

lt's too bad, though, huh?

Could be fun to go back to that night, wouldn't it?

[ Laughs ]

This time l would show up -- me riding my 1 0-speed.

You had a 1 0-speed?

No rain.

No curfews.


[ Monitor beeping slowly ]

[ Phone ringing ]

[ Beep ]

Hello?

Hi.

Chris! Hey.

You're up early.

Yeah, l guess.

What's wrong? Has something happened to your father?

No, he's fine. l mean, the same.

Oh, are you all right? l just wanted to talk to you.

Well, l called you last night. l was out. . .

...with an old friend.

You told me you didn't have any old friends.

Yeah, well, l guess l was wrong.

Oh, and now admitting that you're wrong.

You must have really been up to no good.

How are the, uh, language lessons?

Are you sure you're all right?

Yeah. Sure. do you want me to come out there?

No. Everything's cool.

How about if l catch the first flight out tomorrow?

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

[ doorbell rings ]

-COP: Mrs. Rocket? -Yes. ls this your son, Ma'am?

Yes. Of course this is my son.

What seems to be the problem?

The problem seems to be that your son has no respect for private property.

Are you saying my son, Christopher, is a communist?

No, Ma'am.

[ Clears throat ]

Your son and a presently unidentified suspect vandalized the Safari-Putt elephant. ls that so?

Your son refuses to identify the other perpetrator. l believe you mean ''suspect.''

Yes, Ma'am. l guess.

-So? Are we under arrest? -No, Ma'am --

Then, thank you for bringing my son, Christopher, home.

He's never been in a police cruiser before. l'm sure with all of the guns and sirens, it was a fascinating experience.

He has a thirst for knowledge and adventure.

Now, we have a cow's tongue that's in need of peeling.

Good night.

-And, Officer. -Yes, Ma'am.

Turn off those awful lights.

The neighbors will think someone has had a heart attack.

Yes, Ma'am.

[ Sighs ] lt was Nickie.

No one likes a stoolie.

Now, go wash your hands.

Your father will be thrilled to hear about your big day.

[ Sighs ]

MAN: Yes, l-l understand, Mr. Rocket, but at this point we just can't find your missing bag.

WOMAN: [ Over P.A. system ] ...for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only.

[ Laughs ]

You're acclimating well.

These are for you.

Oh! Thank you.

[ Chuckles ] l'll get these for you.

Good?

Yeah, are we going straight to the hospital?

No, we're gonna go tomorrow morning.

Okay. lf you're gonna meet my family, you need to be well rested.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, l don't mean to be insensitive, but isn't your father in a coma?

Something like that.


[ door opens ]

Are you sleeping on the chair?

That's a La-Z-Boy.

Oh.

So your father lived here with all his different wives?

Yeah.

And, like my mom, they all eventually left him.

And how many stepmothers did you have again?

Two or three.

l guess it's not such a big deal that one of them's missing, huh?

No. Not really.

[ Laughs ]

Can you please put down the horrible art piece?

[ Laughs ]

[ Sighs ]

What a strange and lonely house.

You have no idea.

Ron, there's something we need to discuss.

-Ron, please? -Mm-hmm?

Mm. l think we should make this year a theme year. l think this year should be ''the year of getting to know us better.''

What do you mean?

Oh. . . nothing that would change our everyday lives all that much. lt would just be an opportunity to get to know us all a little bit better.

Sounds terrific.

Especially you, Christopher.

Your dad and l would make an effort to get to know you a little bit better. lt would be the theme of our family.

The Rocket theme.

We'd do things together.

And, Christopher, you could have a slumber party.

And, Ron, you would take Christopher on your golfing outings. l beg your pardon?

You and Christopher would go golfing together.

The boy doesn't know how to golf, honey.

But he is dying to learn. l am?

Yes, you are.

Golfing would give you an opportunity to spend more time together.

You hardly spend any time together at all.

We see each other every day. lt's not the same thing.

Golfing would give you an opportunity to become pals.

Pals?

Pals.

[ Madonna's ''Borderline'' plays ]

¿ Something in the way you love me just won't let me be ¿

¿ l don't want to be your business ¿

¿ So, baby, won't you set me free? ¿

¿ Stop playing with my heart ¿

¿ Finish what you start ¿

¿ When you make my love come down ¿

¿ lf you want me, let me know ¿

¿ Baby, let it show ¿

¿ Honey, don't you fool around ¿

[ Humming ]

¿ And just try to understand ¿

¿ l'll give you all l can ¿

¿ 'Cause you got the best of me ¿

Yeah.

[ Laughs ]

[ Both humming ]

¿ Something in the way... ¿

[ Beeping ]

[ Low-pitched beep ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Monitor beeping slowly ]

Hello, Mr. Rocket. l'm Anne.

Chris' friend.

He can't hear you. l'm sure he knows we're here.

[ Sighs ]

This place is depressing, huh?

[ Exhales ]

''Hang in there, baby.''

[ Scoffs ] ls that some sort of sick joke? l think it's supposed to inspire you to recovery.

Oh, these fucking kittens.

Whoa, language. l thought he couldn't hear us.

[ Sighs ]

Okay, l'm gonna go get some flowers.

Would you like anything else, Mr. Rocket? l don't think he'd mind if you'd call him Ron.

MAN: Hey, Ron, who's the kid?

-[ Golf club whooshes ] -RON: Oh. [ Sighs ]

That's my son, Chris.

Well, l've decided it's important that the boy and l become pals.

Pals?

Yeah, you know, quality time, gents.

That's how you keep a family strong.

[ Chuckling ]

Good one.

What was wrong with your game today, Ronnie?

Just didn't have it, boys.

Well, l guess you're gonna have to start playing a little more often, partner.

We hardly see you around here anymore.

[ Laughs ]

[ Nickie laughs ]

So the house is totally empty because it's on the market, and there we are, on the kitchen floor, right in the middle of things.

[ Laughs ]

Being a gentleman, l'll avoid the details.

Oh -- thank you.

When suddenly we hear the front door open. l had forgotten that l'd given the key to another agent, and she's showing it to her husband.

Wait -- the agent's husband or the husband of the girl that you're --

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, the first time l try to get up, l slip on something wet...

[ Laughs ]

Ohh --

[ Chuckles ] l-l fall back on top of her, which isn't all that bad, but by this time, we can hear them in the hallway.

''Oh, notice the cathedral ceilings, the fine ltalian marble.

Be careful you don't slip on the wet spot.''

[ Laughs ]

So, finally, l drag her, kicking and screaming, [Laughs] out the back door, and she is clawing to get back inside.

And she's screaming, ''l forgot my underwear!

Those are my best underwear!'' Like they're 2 4-karat gold, right?

[ Both laugh ]

Well, aren't you the life of the party?

-Hey, Kimmy! -Hey.

[ Chuckles ]

How you doing?

Not so bad except for the incredibly horrible date that l'm on right now.

Where?

You're with Velleu?

[ Chuckling ] lt's a long story.

Oh, shit. l'm sorry.

Uh, Anne, this is Kim. Kim, this is Anne.

-Hi. -Hi.

Anne is Chris' better half, if you'll pardon the expression.

And Kim. . . is one of the few women in town l have not married yet.

[ Both laugh ] dare to dream.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, whatever.

Hi, Kim.

-Chris. -Hey.

[ Chuckles weakly ] How you doing?

[ Clears throat ]

Kim and l went to grade school together.

Uh, we might have even slow-danced once.

Really?

[ Laughs ] Yeah.

Well, l'd better get back. lt was very nice to meet you, Anne.

Yeah. l'll see you. l'll see you, guys.

-Bye, Kim. -Oh, God help me.

[ Laughs ]

ANNE: l can't believe Mark is making you work while you're here. l'm just making some revisions.

Oh, my God!

Uh, it's his.

Nickie's really funny.

He wants to sleep with you.

That's ridiculous. lt's true.

-He said that? -He doesn't have to. lt's obvious.

Hey, what was your dad like, exactly?

Wow.

What year is it?

1 966. An American classic.

Hmm. How long has he had it for?

Since my 1 3th birthday.

He bought it for me.

But you couldn't drive.

You asked me what my dad was like.

Your family is so weird.

ALL: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 . . .

Happy birthday, sport!

A car?

This is not a car.

This is an American classic.

Chris has got a car.

CHlLdREN: Road trip!

No, no, no, no! don't touch it! don't touch it!

No, no, you got greasy hands!

Get away from here. No. Come on.

Hey, gang!

Hi, Christine.

Happy birthday, Chris.

Thanks.

That dress, Jane -- absolutely your color.

Oh, it's just something l threw on. lt's radiant.

[ Car door closes, engine turns over ]

Ron, where are you going? l told you l was gonna try to sneak in another nine with Richard.

Yeah, but that wasn't supposed to be until after the party.

A-and you were gonna take Chris with you.

Well, he caddied for me all day yesterday.

We're pals now.

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Tuba blowing off-key ]

Where did you play today, Ron?

The coastal course.

How was your game?

Not great.

That's because you didn't have your star caddie with you.

did you see the ocean?

[ Sighs ] Yes. l saw the ocean.

How wonderful.

Christopher loves the ocean. l'm afraid of the ocean. don't be silly.

You -- you love the ocean. l remember when you were still in diapers.

You would just crawl right down the sand, right into the water.

And complete strangers would just stop and watch.

You were like a little fish or. . . or a seahorse or. . .

. . .algae.

The boy doesn't like the ocean.

Christopher loves the ocean.

l have pictures.

Chris, you should talk to your father.

You need to tell him how you feel.

What about the whole coma thing? lt doesn't mean he can't hear you. lt doesn't mean he can.

l think it would help.

Who?

Both of you.

Why do you think it would help me?

l think that you have a lot of things inside you that you need to let out.

This has nothing to do with you and me, Anne.

Chris, everything has to do with you and me.

That's what being together is about -- so we don't have to go through things like this alone.

My dad's an asshole.

Then that's what you need to tell him.

RON: Hey, Chris. Come and sit with me.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

What do you see out there, son?

Trees?

Houses?

Shacks. do you know what it's like to live in a shack, Chris?

No.

Well, you don't want to know.

You don't ever want to get trapped in a place like that. lt's damn easy unless you know what you want.

Your life isn't as long as you think it is, Chris.

That's why you have to know what you want.

[ Monitor beeping slowly ]

[ Bed rattling ]

[ doorbell rings ]

Hey, good morning.

-Nickie, hey. -Hey.

My 1 2:00 had to reschedule, so l thought l'd swing by and say hi.

Oh, well, l'm afraid Chris isn't here right now, so. . .

Oh.

Well, l guess l'll have to say hi to you, then.

[ Chuckles ]

Ow. [ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles weakly ]

''Hi. l'm Ron Rocket.''

''Call me Ronnie.''

''Man, do l ever have morning breath.''

''Tastes just like l ate a shit sandwich.''

''ls my current wife here?''

''What the hell's her name again?''

''delicious pudding, hon.''

''Creamy.''

Hi, dad.

''Who is it?'' lt's. . . Chris.

''Oh. Hi.''

Have any advice for me, dad?

''You are your own most valuable asset.''

Got it.

Great talking to you, dad.

''Yeah. Great talking, uh. . .''

Chris.

''Yeah. Call me Ronnie.''

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughing ]

Oh, l can't believe Chris never told me how funny you are.

Oh, l love it.

So, how goes the search for wife number four?

Ahh. . .

Well, l thought l'd found her, but she only wanted to live together.

So l broke it off.

-Really? -Yeah, what can l say? l'm an all or nothing guy, you know?

Unlike some people we know.

Well, you know, Chris might have mentioned it was an issue.

-Mentioned what was an issue? -Whoa! Hey, buddy.

[ Laughing ] Hey.

Hey. Perfect.

Yeah, l was just -- l was just headed out.

Um. . . Oh, thanks for the drink, Anne.

Yeah. Sure.

Good to see you. l'll see you guys tonight.

-Mm-hmm. -Right, okay?

So. . . how did it go?

Fine. do you feel any better?

Oh, yeah. l'm a new man.

What'd you talk about? lt was mostly a one-sided conversation.

Why did Nickie say he'll see us tonight?

Oh, he wanted to have drinks with us later.

So l told him l would check with you first. l got to work.

You should go.

Why did you ask me to come here?

l didn't ask. You offered.

[ Scoffs ]

You're such an asshole. l guess that's one thing you learned from your father.

[ Buzzing ]

[ Buzzing stops ]

Wow!

Hey, you. Your swing's really coming along.

Thanks. lt's only a matter of time before you're on the tour. lsn't that right, Tom?

What's that?

[ Laughs ] l was just telling Chris here l'm giving up my existence as a neglected housewife to become a full-time hoochie-coochie dancer.

Hoochie-coochie?

[ Laughs ]

You're kidding, right?

Yeah, right.

Chris? don't ever get married. lt's a sure way to ruin a great romance.

Hey, Chris. Have you seen my 7-iron?

-Yes, you have. -l was practicing.

Well, this is not a toy.

So get yourself a stick or a rake or something, okay?

Ron, if -- if ever you guys are looking for a fourth, you know, l was on the golf team at Yale.

Ohh, man, l'd love to, Tom, but -- but ours is a weekly game.

-So you understand. -Yeah. Sure.

Plus, l wouldn't want to be responsible for your yard being neglected.

No. [ Chuckles ]

-No, of course not. -[ Engine turns over ]

Your dad is one hell of a neighbor, Chris.

Caddying for your father is such a great way for the two of you to get to know each other.

But he won't let me go anymore.

[ Sighs ]

You're probably right.

We're gonna have to come up with a new plan.

[ Clicking ]

What would Michael Caine do?

[ Breathes deeply ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Laughs ]

Ahh.

Absolutely.

What? lf he won't let you go along, you are gonna have to sneak along.

[ Engine turns over ]


[ Whirring ]

[ Gulls crying ]

Tuesday was a good day.

My son came to see me.

[ Sighs ]

My son is a sad boy.

He wasn't always.

We made him that way.

[ Breathes deeply ]

His parents made him that way.

You feed them caribou and blueberries, and then you push them out of the nest, and you just hope they don't go splat on the sidewalk like a turkey falling out of a helicopter.

You do your best.

You do your best.

Why do men want to act like boys their whole lives?

What are you all so afraid of?

-King of commitment. -Oh, right, yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

Always so. . .

. . .distant.

So cautious.

Mm, unless it's about sex.

-Then. . . -Mm.

-Then you're totally the opposite. -Mm.

Well, maybe that's the answer.

Just, you know, forget all relationships and just have lots of sex.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs heavily ]

Chris just takes it all so seriously. You know?

Why can't he just relax and accept the good things in his life?

Stop fixating on all the things that don't work. l don't know.

So. . .

How did you become the king of commitment?

[ Laughs ]

Oh. . . l don't know. l guess l have a hard time saying no.

[ Chuckles ]

What? l want you to take me to that house.


Where?

Excuse me?

Where do you take them?

Uh. . .

Kitchen. . .

The hot tub, sometimes.

Uh. . .

Anne?

Oh, God.


[ Engine turns over ]

[ Engine shuts off ]

RON: Hi, gorgeous.

CHRlSTlNE: Hi, angel.

[ door opens ] ls his mother alone? [ door closes ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ] lt's good to see you.

Oh, it's good to see you, too.

Ron!

[ Laughs ]

Ron. . .

[ Laughing ]

Mmm.

Mmm.

Oh, Ron. . .

Oh, God, you feel so good.

[ Gasps ]

Ohh. dad?

Ohh.

[ Both moaning ] dad?

dad?

RON: What the hell?

-l'm in the trunk. -Yeah. l know you're in the goddamn trunk.

[ Foghorn blows ]

Okay.

Hey, you. [ Chuckles ]

Hello, Mrs. Jacobson. l think you can call me Christine.

Gosh, it's beautiful out there, huh? l'm afraid of the ocean.

Why? You shouldn't be afraid of it.

You know, it's funny -- all the time that we've been neighbors, l thought l knew everything about you.

And, of course, your dad, boy, he just doesn't stop talking about you.

[ Laughs ]

But the crazy thing is, you know, he never told me how much you love go-karts.


There's something l need to tell you. l already know. l went to the bar. And then l followed you to the house.

Chris, l wanted to hurt you. lt's fine.

For some reason l thought l couldn't really hurt you.

Want some coffee? l don't know why l thought l couldn't hurt you.

Of course l can hurt you.

That's why l couldn't go through with it.

Nothing happened. We didn't even kiss.

When l realized how much l could hurt you, l didn't want to anymore.

What?

Nothing.

You don't believe me? l believe you.

Oh, my God.

You wish l had done it, don't you?

You were hoping this would give you an excuse.

You'd be off the hook. No more pressure.

No decision to make. But l didn't do it.

And now you're disappointed. do you even know why?

Jesus, Chris.

Tell me something.

Tell me something about you.

Anne, you're right. l think we should get married.

l can't believe you think that's what's important to me. l'm not some prom queen desperate for a Volvo station wagon and a house in the suburbs.

When did l ever mention marriage?

You created that in your head.

All l ever wanted was for you to ask me to stay.

-Anne -- -don't. l really -- l really hope you figure things out.

Unless you feel the need to fuck old high-school sweethearts forever.


[ Laughing ]

l'm catching up! l'm catching up!

[ Whirring ]

Whoo!

[ Laughing ]

[ Bell ringing ]

[ Laughs ]

Yay! You did it!

Look at that rabbit.

Oh, my goodness!

For me?

[ Gasps ]

Thank you. l had the most wonderful day today.

Nobody has ever won me a gigantic white rabbit before.

Thanks for the go-karts.

[ Laughs ]

-Yeah, that was fun, huh? -Yeah.

Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

You know, someday you're gonna make someone very happy.

-And you know what? -What?

She's gonna be the luckiest girl in the whole world.

l'll see you, Ron.

Yeah. See you.

[ Bell ringing ]


[ Engine turns over ]

[ Engine shuts off ]

Well. . . l was beginning to wonder if you were ever coming home.

dinner's almost ready.

You need any help with anything?

Nope. Got everything pretty much under control.

Okay.

dear heart?

[ Clears throat ]

l can't take it anymore.

don't you two have something to tell me?

Ron, how was your golf game?

Why don't you ask the boy?

Chris? Please?

l surprised him.

You did?

Where? l was in the trunk.

Oh.

And. . .?

l like golf.

lsn't that fabulous?

And now you two are finally pals.

Pals is what this family needs more of.

Mr. Rocket?

Mr. Rocket, wait!

Shelly, can you watch my station for me?

Mr. Rocket. . .

[ Sighs ]

Chris?

l tried to call you. l've been trying.

l'm sorry. l'll give you a minute.

Take as long as you'd like.


You've only got to know one thing to drive a golf ball.

And that is. . .

. . .that the club is part of you. lt's part of your hand. lt's part of your arm. lt's part of your whole skeleton, your heart. l think that one of these days, you're gonna be pretty good out there on the course.

And all this stuff about. . .

''getting to know each other better'' that your mother came up with. . .

you don't need to get to know me. . .

. . .because one of these days you're gonna grow up. . .

. . .and you're gonna be me.


[ Glass shatters ]

[ doorbell rings ]

[ Panting ]

[ Laughs ]

Christopher.

lt's Mrs. Jacobson.

Christine.

Are you all right, Christopher?

How's Mr. Jacobson?

He's fine.

He's the same.

l'm so sorry about your father. l, uh. . .

. . .went to the hospital. . .

. . .to see him, but l guess my timing was. . .

. . .a little bad.

[ Breathes deeply ] l. . . l got these for him.

Would you like to come in?

Okay. Just for a minute.

Jesus Christ, Christopher, what the hell happened here? l got a little upset.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Yeah, l can see that.

Can you imagine if your father were here?

Probably have another stroke.

He probably would.

Yeah, he probably would.

Good for you, Chris.

Good for you.

JANE: This is for my sensitive little boy.

Fly...

Fly...

Fly.

[ Snapping fingers ]

¿ Make like a mist or milquetoast ¿

¿ And you'll get shut out ¿

¿ Make like a mist or milquetoast ¿

¿ And you'll get cut out ¿

¿ Make like a little lamb ¿

¿ And wham, you're shorn ¿

¿ Come on, chum ¿

¿ lt's time to come blow your horn ¿

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Engine revs ]

[ Tires screech ]


[ lndistinct P.A. announcement ]

[ Horn honks ]


l need a ticket to New York.

Oh! Hello, Mr. Rocket. l think we're narrowing in on that lost luggage for you.

Just let me go ahead and check.

Just get me a fucking ticket!

Ah. did you lose my number? l have a ticket. lt's first class.

Lucky for you, l'm still available. Hey.

Anne.

Anne?

Anne?

Anne?

Anne!

You're gonna have to sit down!

Chris, what are you doing here?

Something happened to me. After you left, something changed.

-l changed. -ln the last three hours? lt doesn't work that way.

Anne, it's the truth!

My dad died. A-and so much more. l said, you're going to have to sit down! Now! l'm sorry that your dad died, if that's what you want to hear.

No. Please!

This is outrageous. Security!

Anne, the truth is l'm a complete mess!

Except for you, my entire life is fucked.

You look awful.

Look, no -- l know l fucked up, okay? l'm sorry. l-l -- just -- give me another chance.

Okay? l'm sorry.

lt's too late.

-l'm so sorry, Anne. -Come on.

-l've only ever made one -- -Let's go. Grab a seat, come on.

One real decision in my whole entire life. Okay?

-Come on. Trip's over. Let's go. -l want to change it!

-Let's go. Come on. -l want to change it, Anne!

Anne!

CHRlS: They say that eventually everyone becomes just like their parents.

That terrified me.

Now l'm glad, because when they're gone, and everything that's in the past is gone, they're still there. lt's up to you if you want to carry them inside you or strapped onto your back.

A lifetime full of emotions is bound to be a complex and messy thing. ln the mess, there's great happiness and also great pain. l guess the key is not to let one prevent you from experiencing the other. ln happiness, you allow yourself to wonder and to dream, to imagine all the things that you might be and forget all the things that you already are. ln pain, you find your truth, the demons and secrets you hide away, and only occasionally uncover to remind you of all the dark places you've been.

PRESldENT REGAN: First, let me say l take full responsibility for my own actions and for those of my administration.

As angry as l may be about activities undertaken without my knowledge...

CHRlS: ln between happiness and pain is fear.

This is the worst place of all.

Fear causes you to cling to what little you have and prevents you from reaching out for what you really need.

Cheers! lf you're lucky, an angel will come into your life and rescue you from your fear.

She'll take you by the hand, pull you high above the ground, and show you what it's like to smell the inside of clouds.

My name's Christopher Rocket. l'm in jail, but for the first time in my life...

...l feel free.

[ Airplane whooshes in distance ]

This way.

-Good-bye, counselor. -Thank you, Arnold.

[ door closes ]