Thoroughbreds (2017) Script

Wait here.


I'll be right there.




Hi, Lily.

Hi. Uh, I'm sorry, you just...

Is this your sword?

Uh, no.

It's, uh, it's my stepdad's.

You look different.


You look good.


So do you...

Well, okay, should we, uh, get started?

"Despite his lack of experience in the field, Jared's contributions to the project were spectral."

And does that make sense?

Is Jared a ghost?

No. How do you know?

It doesn't say he's not a ghost.

Um... so the answer is B, "significant".

This test is intolerable. You're doing great.

I'm better at applied skills.

I have business savvy. Totally.

I think my best option at this point would be to skip college and just to sort of Steve Jobs my way through life. That's an idea.

You're good at this, though.

Better than my actual tutor. How much are you charging?

What are you talking about?

I'm not charging you.

We're hanging out.

Okay. So, uh, moving on to passage comprehension.

Do you wanna read, or should I?

You start.


"From Paul Revere to the Marlboro Man, one image has maintained a firm hold on the American imagination.

As closely tied to notions of liberty as any flag or eagle, the horse..."

You know what, actually this is longer than we need.

Let's do a short one.

Do you have any food here?

So, yeah, I'm lucky to be at a school that values learning outside of the classroom.

And you just finished all your classwork early?

Yup. Was it hard?


Trying to wrap my head around mutual funds and credit swaps was the hard part.


Shall we?

Leave it.

I'm sorry if I acted funny about that passage.

It's only weird if you make it weird.

Well, I just figured you might not wanna talk about it.

Why? Well, I guess you're... feeling a lot of... feelings, uh, right now.

It's fresh.

Well, that's the funny thing, actually.

I really don't. Don't what?

Feel anything.

Like, you're numb?

Like you don't have any negative feelings...

Like I don't have any feelings, ever.

Sure, you do. I mean... sometimes I feel hungry or tired.

But, like, joy, guilt?

I really don't have any of those.

I don't understand.

Yeah, it's hard to explain. It's really only recently that I've been able to admit it to myself.

Because I've gotten so good at watching and imitating other people's emotions that I sort of tricked myself into believing I have them, but I don't.

So that's a, um...

A what?

A disorder or something?

Oh. Well, the shrink would sure like it to be.

First it was borderline personality, then severe depression, yesterday, she said it was antisocial with schizoid tendency.

She's basically just flipping to random pages of the DSM-5 and throwing medications at me.

But I have a perfectly healthy brain.

It just doesn't contain feelings.

And that doesn't necessarily make me a bad person.

It just means I have to work a little harder than everyone else to be good.

Oh, uh...

Two hours? Yeah.

Glad you set an alarm to make sure we didn't hang out longer than intended.

Oh, no... I mean, it...

I have this thing with my mom...

You know, I have my mom's email password.

Sorry? It means I read her inbox daily.

I saw your thread with her.

How she had to bump up from a hundred to two hundred an hour to get you to do this.

Just next time, don't say you're not charging.

She was desperate to set up a playdate, by the way.

She's been trying for two weeks.

You could have gotten five hundred out of her if you'd stood pat.

"...but the America I found when I got off the plane was nothing like Mother's stories.

Cars stood in lines along ill-maintained highways and gangs of slump-shouldered men tossed dice in alleyways.

I didn't know whether to feel betrayed by my mother, or to feel grief that, even as imperfect as this new land might be, she wasn't here to see it."

Okay. So, how would you summarize that passage?

Bad. No.

Uh, not evaluate, just summarize.

You make the arrangement by phone this time?

What are you talking about? No email with my mom about payment.

I'm not getting paid this time.

I don't want payment.

What do you want?

Nothing. I just wanted to see you.


I'm gonna go ride. You mind telling your mom...

Um, Amanda, this is Mark.

Mark, this is Amanda.

Nice to meet you.


Did you need something?




Okay, so question nine, "The author's attitude towards her mother's jade box can be primarily described as..."


Wow, what?

You hate him.


So it's "A, solemn.

B, contemptuous..."

You despise him.

No, we... have our differences, but I'm trying very hard to have a pleasant and mature relationship with him.


So, "C, sardonic.

D, ambivalent..."

Because he's rich?

Excuse me? Because he leaves you envelopes of money?

Okay, that was for my broken laptop.

He doesn't just leave me envelopes of money...

Okay, but you and your mom must still know that it's in your best interest to keep him happy.

Okay, I... actually, I think we're done here.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

I just think you should be honest about your feelings.

Otherwise it starts coming out in passive-aggressive ways.

Like, for instance, you start inviting your creepy friend over to make him mad.

That's not why you're here. Of course it is.

Look, if that's how you feel, then why don't you go ask your mom to buy you another friend?

I'm sure you're just rolling in options.

The answer is "D, ambivalent."

That's right.

You know, my friend taught me this trick, where whenever it says "ambivalent" on the SAT, that's the answer.

You're not hurt?

It's the first honest thing you've said to me since sixth grade.

You're incredibly off-putting and you freak me out.

There you go.

In kind of a fascinating way, like a YouTube video of a giant zit being popped or a baby born without a face.

Love those videos.

You actually smell kind of weird.

Really? Yeah.

Have you showered? Only every couple of days, lately. But no one said anything so I thought I was getting away with it.

You're not.

Not sorry I tried.

How's that feel?

Really good.

Seems like it.

Well, we should actually probably get back to work.

Sorry. No...

Sorry. That was just sudden.

It looked like an attack.

No, I was trying... Right...

Come here.

Why do you do this to me, Frank?

Yikes. What?

That's the worst fake crying I've ever seen.

Do you have to go?

I have to go, Paula. I know...

She's... All right, go...

Trying. Go anywhere you like.

You can go to blazes for all I care.



Look, that's better. Yes, I know I'm...

I'm being foolish. Actually, that might not even be fake.

It is.

No, look, those are real tears.

She's just using The Technique.

The what?

Come on, fix your face.

We'll go down to Eddie's and have a drink.

I mean, maybe she actually fell in love with the actor.

And they're fucking between takes, and... it's the last week of shooting, so she knows she has to return home to her loveless 1940s marriage, and...

The Technique.

Holy shit.


You can just... do that on cue?

Years of practice.

Can you teach me?

So you basically have to learn all the automatic, like, processes that get triggered when you cry, and then sort of manually generate each one.

It feeds back to the brain, and then the tears just come naturally.

You finished boarding school by March.

Don't act like this is confusing.


Where does it start?

Right here.

Tiny gulps of air.

It's like you're choking yourself... from the inside.

Is it working? No.

Hi, Mark. Hi, Mark.

Where's your mother?

Some work-party thing.

What work-party thing?

I don't know. Some work-party thing.

I didn't know your mom worked.

Come talk to me upstairs, please.


After the next commercial break.

Now. I don't wanna leave Amanda alone. Amanda will be fine here alone.

I'm quite afraid of the dark.

How long are you here, Amanda?

My mom's gonna pick me up around midnight.


Midnight's late for us.

Lily can give you a ride home now.

Two teens in one car, at night?

That's an accident waiting to happen.

Yeah. I mean, we're always turning up the radio super loud... Texting while driving.

I'll call your mom.

She can come pick you up now.

She's busy. Doing what?



You ever talk to your mom?

About what? Him.

What would I even say?

The way he makes you feel.

You'd think that would matter to her?

You'd think...

Just grabbin' my juice.

His juice?

It's a cleanse.

Three weeks out of the month he pounds steak, and the last week he juices exclusively.

Is that healthy? I think you're only supposed to do it once a year.

Hopefully, one of these days he'll just... juice himself to death.

What's that?

The ergometer.

The what?

The ergometer.

It's like a rowing machine.

He's on that thing at all hours.

I think it's a deliberate effort to make me lose my fucking mind.

Tell me, Frank, what is it?

Give me a chance to fight back. Just give me a chance.

Come on.

Let's go steal some of his wine.

You ever think about just killing him?

I mean, no.

You could at least consider it.

No. Just weigh the pros and cons.

No. Why don't you consider all options?

Yeah. Not, like, murder.

Yeah, sure it's outside the box, but you can only get so far thinking how everyone else thinks.

Look at Steve Jobs.

What? I'm just going off what you're giving me. It's a cost-benefit analysis.

It seems like you could generate a lot of benefit for a lot of people.

Except I'd spend the rest of my life in jail.

Why are you assuming you'd get caught?

I should not have to explain this.

Probably what people said to Columbus when he was like, "I think the world is round, instead of flat and surrounded by dragons."

They were like, "No, dumbass, we shouldn't have to explain this."

It's probably what people said to Steve Jobs when he was like, "This MP3 player is also a phone."

Okay, can we please stop talking about Steve Jobs?

Steve Jobs never fucking murdered someone.

I think most of this country's moral norms comes from weird old Puritan bullshit.

A human life isn't some sacred thing.

There's nothing holy about a dick and a vaj getting together and spitting out a little dude.

If that dude causes more bad than good, then he's like a, you know... a piece of malfunctioning machinery.

A lame horse.


Should be taken out back and put down.

See? You get it. You know what you sound like?

What? A Nazi.

I had to leave school before we did World War II but I think it was about race, with them?

I think you should leave.

Why? I just... think you should.

I don't get it. You don't have to.

You're sure?


Nice and slow.

That's the way I wanna see you go, Bigelow, nice and slow.

Anticline Capital Partners.

Hey, how's it going?

It's going fine, ma'am.

How can I help you?

Yeah, I'm just calling about your, um, your internship program.

To my knowledge, we don't have an internship program.

What about Lily?

What about who?

Front desk.

Hi, this is Andover?

Uh, yes, how can I help you?

This is Rhonda with Edible Arrangements.

We just had an issue with a delivery, and wanted to confirm a student mailing address.

All right.

You do have a "Lily Reynolds" at the school?

Would you like me to repeat the question?

That student is actually...

Hold on one minute. I'm going to transfer your call.


Ma'am, what did you say your name was?




Don't yell... in the house.


Where's Mom?

Oh, hi.

What is this?

Oh, Mark put it in on Wednesday.

I need your car keys.

Sure. They're in my jeans.

Which are somewhere.

Oh, by the way, I booked us a spa trip in two weeks.

I hope you'll join me.

How long have you been in here?

Um, not long.

Mark likes it when I have a little color.

I'm going out.

...she turns out to be this crazy person and it's just fucking like...

How could you do that? It's her own horse.

Are you fucking kidding me? That's crazy!

I mean, uh, it must be really crazy for you because you guys were friends and everything, so it's like...

Uh, yeah, but like a million years ago, so...

If you need someone to, you know, talk to...

You've seen the pictures, right?

No. Zach Friedrich's dad is part-owner of the stable.

He found the, like, the photos.

His dad was sending them to their lawyer.

So, Zach sent them to Connor and Connor obviously sent them to 10 other people.

She's fucking 15, dude!

Yes, and that's plenty old enough to decide who she wants to hang out with.

So, I'm sorry if your girlfriend would rather...

She's not my girlfriend, all right?

She's my fucking sister!

All right, well, whatever she is.

She is an intelligent, like, being who can make up her own mind about the people she wants to hang out with. Am I wrong?

What the fuck is he even doing here?

Whoa. "What the fuck am I even doing here"?

I am providing you all with early drug experiences that you will forever cherish. That's what the fuck I'm doing.

And who the fuck are you? You went to school with my cousin. Okay, great. What's his name?

This guy did fucking jail time.

Statutory rape.

He fucked someone our age when he was 25.

All right. All right. All right. All right.

I was 23.

You gorilla-faced dumbass!

Hey, put that fucking phone away!

You know what? I refuse.

I refuse... put the fucking phone away!

I refuse to stand trial in front of this kangaroo court... fuck.

Shit! Fuck!

Fuck you! Fucking evil children.

Oh, shit, fucking children. Goddammit...

Is this your car?

Let me get out of your way.

Unless, um, you want in on this? No.

I see that glimmer.

Don't be ashamed. I'm good. Thanks.

I'm Tim. I'll...

I'll call the cops.

All right.

You know, I saw you earlier in the night back there.

Keeping to yourself.

Something is weighing on you.

Let's talk it out. No.

Come on. I'm a really good listener.

I really have to go.

Where did you go to school?

I board.

And it makes you miserable.

It's like a glorified fuckin' prison.

You ever think about dropping out?

Why would I do that? It's what I did.

Followed my, uh, entrepreneurial instincts.

It's the best decision I ever made.


You know, the thing about this town is... the sawdust smells fantastic, but you are still in a hamster cage.

Meanwhile, out there, there are more billionaires under 30 than at any moment in human history.

It's our time, motherfucker.

Well, hello, you! Hi.

Did she...

Did you come here to...

Did she do something? Uh, no.

No, I'm, I'm just here to say hi.


What... come on in.

Come in.

She's out back.

What's she doing out there?

I don't know.

...believe as much of that delicious stem, which has the same flavor as the artichoke heart, and also looks really cool.

Just hit him.

What? Just hit him.

...we cut straight across into thin pieces.

Now at this point you can eat this raw.

And I often make a little salad that we use with a little lemon juice and a little extra virgin and olive oil and eat them with something called bresaola, which is air-dried beef.


Bullshit. It was 30.

Fine. Thirty.

Hey, um... so... that thing you said the other night.

Which thing?

About Mark.


Well, you said something like, "Why are you assuming you'd get caught?"


So, like... hypothetically,

if you were going to do it,

how would you... do it?

Well, I wouldn't... do it.

That's what you want me to say.

I don't want you to say anything.

Just asking.

I do think that you could be... more honest.

"The mounting pressure of my coursework, combined with the emotional toll of losing my father..."

You don't have to read it out loud.

"...drove me to confuse the thin line between research and plagiarism."

How about you just say:

"Drove me to go online and find...

Okay, I really don't need your line edits.

Then why are you asking me to read it?

Because I need a parent's signature on my reapplication form.

Right, but...


We've been having the conversation about next year, and... we feel really good about Brookmore.

He has a friend who's on the board and they're really very good at...

Brookmore is a place for girls with very severe behavioral issues.

How is this even part of the conversation?

That's not true. If I'm not readmitted, then I'm staying local.

We, um...

We think you'd do really well in a supportive environment.

He doesn't want me here. No...

No, that's not it at all.

You know how much effort he puts in every day getting closer to you.

I got admitted into Andover, I've...

You were admitted to Andover because your dad wrote them a check.

This is a not a conversation.

We've already made the down payment.

I'm fine. Honey, you can't go in looking like that.

I'm fine. Let me just fix it...

I'm fine. Ow.

Are you gonna make me repeat myself?

Don't do that... Are you gonna make me repeat myself? I said I'm fucking fine!

I was just trying to help.

Do you speak English?

Or am I gonna have to stand here all day like a fucking robot repeating myself.

"I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'm fine!"

Jesus Christ!

I saw the photos.


You're not gonna say anything?

What do you want me to say?

I guess I didn't realize you did it like that.

Well, that's not how I wanted it to go.

Well, what did you to happen? Obviously, I wanted to get it done by a vet.

He was never gonna walk again.

But you know my mom.

She's the type of person that gets weepy when she imagines her horse going to sleep and never waking up. And when a... weak moral character like that runs your household...

But still, you didn't have to...

Well, if the Midazolam Hydrochloride had worked like it was supposed to... The what?

The Midazolam Hydrochloride.

If it had worked like it was supposed to, then it just would have been...

Unfortunately, quality control on black-market drugs is poor.

Honeymooner was going into convulsions.

He was bucking hard and he broke the splint.

And then he... broke the other leg, too.

But you don't wanna hear about this.

By that point, it just became a question of ending it as quickly as possible.

And I Googled methods of execution.

I didn't have a gun, so that was out.

But... in Mexico, they use something called a "puntilla."

A what?

A puntilla.

It's like a curved blade.

Like an ice pick.

You jam it behind the cervical vertebrae, and they go limp.

And you had a puntilla?


It stopped the convulsions, but... the problem with puntilla execution is, it doesn't actually kill the horse, it just paralyzes them.

And obviously I didn't want that for Honeymooner.

So, I climbed on top of him, he was on the ground at this point, and I started cutting away the flesh of his neck.

The goal was to get to the spine as quickly as possible and it took some time.

The muscle had a lot of gristle in it and the knife got dull pretty quickly, but... but I got there...

And then I...

I just stood up and I... got my foot... into a position where I could kick downwards, and...


No, it's, um...

I think it felt right. That it was me who did it.

After all the years I'd spent with that horse.

I just put my head down, and... looked at it as completing a task.

I think we should do it.



And you're looking at me.

Only because you're the only person here.

I do think you'd be good at it, though.

I mean, with the kind of composure you showed with...

Hey. Hey!


Amanda, where are you going? I don't know why you're saying all this now. I think you might be saying it because you're emotional. Why am I emotional?

I don't know. You just never really tell me anything about your life. That's not true...

But that doesn't stop you from asking me to kill someone for you. That's not what I'm asking!

You do realize that I'm the very worst person to do this.

I'm awaiting trial for animal cruelty.

If anything violent happens anywhere near me, I'm the first person they will come after.

Okay. I get that. If we were going to do this, we'd both need to be far away with airtight alibis.

Um... we are here to visit one of your guests.

Name, please.

My name? The resident's name.

Oh, um...

That... that would be, uh... Ms. Jones.

Thank you.

How did you find me?

Asked around. Asked around...

That is so fucking unprofessional.

You know, I wouldn't... I wouldn't... normally make a sale under these circumstances.

Good thing you need the business.

I don't need the business.



This is a temporary gig.


I have had to hustle for everything that I have.

You don't know where I come from. Westchester.

Amanda... Fuck off.

You have no idea.

Give me five, max ten years, I will be running this game.

All up the coast, I will be the guy.

You got a creepy friend. I know.

We done here... You got a gun?

Why do you care if I have a gun?

Just curious.

If you're planning to run the game in a few years I imagine it might involve, you know, violence.

Well, it's not gonna involve business lunches and golf.

So, you must have a gun.

None of your fucking business.

What, are you trying to get me in trouble?

I bet he doesn't have one. Yeah, I bet he's got like a... A spork.

You packin' a spork? Fuck no, I am not packing a spork.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Yes, I have a gun.

Multiple guns? Multiple gun...

No! One! One gun!

What, am I, fucking Rambo?

Do you have it on you?

Why do you care? He's lying.

I have a gun.


Why "good?" Because then Lily has a business proposition for you.



So, you'll come in through here.

You'll break it. Use a brick or a heavy stone.

You're sure it'll break?

Yeah. A tree branch came through the other one last summer.

All right. Well, that'll be loud.

Yeah. And that's the point. He'll wake up and he'll likely come in through here.

And then you will...


Am I missing something? No, you got it.

I didn't think you'd bring it here.

You don't like it?

Please don't point that thing at me.

Is it loaded?

You wanna hold it?

No, thanks.

Come on.

Anyway, you'll shoot.

You'll grab some stuff, make it look like a robbery, and then you'll run out the way you came.

Then I'll go to my car. Yeah.

Am I gonna trip an alarm?

There's no reason you'd set one.

The neighbors will call the cops.

I doubt it. There's no one especially close.

You ever heard a gunshot, sweetheart?

Plus sound carries over the water.

Then drive away quickly.

"Then drive away quickly."

Middle of the night in a quiet neighborhood like this.

What am I? Supposed to get lost in traffic?

Drive away at a moderate speed without your headlights on.

No one will be able to ID your car.

Yeah, and slam into a tree, on these windy fucking roads.

I believe in you.

You know what, I don't think you girls are thinking this through.

Well, if you don't want the hundred thousand...

How do I know you're good for it?

We're good for it.

I know you're good for it.

But how do I know the fucking...

Swimfan over there isn't gonna have an episode and change her mind?

We're good for it.

You sure you wanna let this bitch talk you into this?

Do you have it on you?


You sure?

Yeah. Where?

Right here.

Okay. One gram or two?


Okay. That's one-twenty.

Why would you record that?

You're gonna blackmail me into killing your stepdad?

No. That's... Yeah. Exactly that.

You got it.

Don't drag her into this.

And you know what? Don't drag me.

Because, unlike you, we have lives to lead.

Oh, you do? Yeah.

I don't know about her, but I do.

You work in a nursing home.

Other than that, you sell drugs to children.

That's a life? Amanda...

Every business starts small.

Oh, really?

And what's next?

You're clearly only selling to minors because you don't wanna get involved with the real dealers. Hey, you don't know me.

You don't know me.

Give me a decade, I'm gonna be driving a car just like the one out front.

I'm gonna move my family into a neighborhood just like this one.

Because I got the drive.

Oh, yeah. And the mental toughness.

And a permanent spot on Connecticut's sex offender registry.

So, I guess the day you move in you'll have to drive that expensive car door to door introducing yourself and trying to convince them that... the only reason you had sex with a child is because you were too afraid to talk to anyone your own age.

Give me the phone.

You're not gonna use this.

Not in this house. Not in this neighborhood.

Cops would be here in a second.

Give me the phone.

Even if we were in the middle of nowhere, you wouldn't shoot.

Even if no one... would find out.

You cannot hesitate.

The only thing worse than being incompetent or being unkind or being evil is being indecisive.


You did something stupid, and you took a head wound, but we've stopped the bleeding, and you're in a stable condition.

I have to go to the hospital. No.

I have to go to the hospital.

They're my mom's Vicodin from her back surgery.

Take no more than two at a time.

Keep it clean and it'll heal up naturally.

What am I gonna tell my dad?

Why will your dad care?

Because I live with him.

Wear a hat.

We're keeping this, by the way.

We'll put it inside the grill.

The what?

The second grill. It's the one furthest from the house. Mark never uses it.

You can come get it Saturday night.

That's in, uh...

three days. Yeah.

You can't give the fucking hole in my head time to close?

It has to be Saturday.

I'm on vacation with my mom, and Amanda's at a residential psychotherapy program.

If you tell anyone about any of this or if you don't do your job, we'll send the audio, which we've put online, to the police.

I'm out.

I'm out. You... you try anything, you're going to jail.

I'm sorry, who... who's going to jail?

We're just two minors with incredibly expensive family lawyers. Uh-hmm.

On the other hand, if you have one more legal issue, even a minor drug offense, you're getting 15 years.

Do you think he's actually gonna do it?

He is.

Just enjoy your spa weekend.

I'll see you when it's done.

Do you want, like, a...

I don't know, a hug or...



Thank you.


Mmm, so good.

Oh, my God!

What are you doing here?

I thought I'd drive in.

Save you the train ride.

Fucking coward.

You know, he's probably on his way to the police right now.

He won't. You don't know that.

He doesn't wanna get himself involved in any legal trouble. Well, then he'll come after us. I mean, he took his gun back.

He has nothing to gain in doing that.

He'll leave us alone, and we'll leave him alone.

He doesn't deserve that.

So, what, you want us to track him down and kill him too?

Let's just murder half of Connecticut.

We'll do it ourselves.

I don't think you're in the right mindset to be planning this.

What kind of mindset am I in? Lighting a cigarette indoors.

That kind of mindset. Oh, is this your house?

Or is this my house? I'm just saying, that if we're gonna do this it's because it's the right thing to do.

Not because you're upset and you're going through a hard time.

What kind of "hard time" am I going through?

I mean everything.

"Everything"? What is "everything?"

My life is fine right now...

I mean, you got expelled from Andover.

And you lied to me about your internship.

Is that Mark?

What is this?

Ow, uh, God.

Where'd you get these?

A store.

Is this a thing you do now?

You a smoker?

If my dad found me smoking in his house, I would've gotten the buckle-end of the belt.

Is that what you wanna do?

Just throw the pack out. I won't tell your mother.

Tell her. She doesn't need one more thing to make her anxious. Which you'd know, if you'd bother... Leave her.

What's that?

If you want what's best for her... leave her.

You couldn't possibly understand someone else's point of view.

Could you?

Not mine, not your friends', definitely not your mom's.

Fuck you. Because in your brain, all these people are just... little offshoots of your consciousness.

We're all your maids, aren't we?

Your cleaning ladies.

Your personal trainers.

You know what?

Put all the shit in your lungs that you want.

We need to stop protecting you.

Life needs to knock you around a little.

Oh, and the only reason that I am still sending you to Brookmore is that I've paid in full.

After that, you're off my payroll.


You didn't do anything.

You were never unsafe.

So, you're okay with him talking to me like that?

He's a cock. Is that new information for us?

Honestly, he's not even that off-base.

I mean, empathy isn't your strong suit.

But you know that.

You're great in other ways.

Hey! There you go.


The Technique. You've been practicing.

I'm not using The Technique, Amanda.

Hey, can I ask you something?


Do you remember that time in ninth grade when we were driving home from my dad's funeral, and you were holding me, and we were crying?


Were you using The Technique?


That was good, wasn't it?

Ah, fuck!

Sara, this is Mr. Geoffrey Hamilton.

Little Miss Crewe is our new pupil.

How do you do?

How do you do?

I believe I'm to teach you to ride.

It's funny to think how everyone in this movie is dead now.

Or, like, at least very old.

He's probably got a motor-scooter now.

She... pees in a bag.

She's an obligation to her family.

They take turns visiting her.

And... and when they sit next to her bed and this movie comes on the TV, she goes, "My, what a pretty young thing..." You're bumming me out.

You okay?

I'm fine.


Just three days of radio silence and then, like, very urgent text messages.

You know, if you wanna get back to the plan we can...

I don't wanna talk about the plan.


Do you remember that stuff you were saying to Tim the other day?

What stuff?

The stuff about how... his life... isn't worth living. Yeah.

Do you ever ask that question about yourself?

Like, any of our lives?

Like, in a philosophical sense?

Like... your life... in particular.

I just mean like...

If you can't... feel anything, like, even happiness or...

I'm so sorry. I...

I didn't mean that.

No, it's...

It's okay. I just never really thought about it.


I drugged it.

You what?

I put Rohypnol in it.

You roofied me.



Because I... was gonna knock you out and then go upstairs.

And afterwards I was gonna put the knife in your hand to make it look like you'd...

Oh, I'm so sorry, okay? I...

I don't even know what I was thinking. Just...

Just give me the glass and I'll throw them both away...


Stop it.


What did you do?

I drank it.

I told you not to. You...

You need to go throw up. Come on.

No, thanks.

Do you know what this does?

Oh, yeah. It, um...

Oh, God, you really dosed this motherfucker up.

Why would you do that?

I live a meaningless life...


You're... you're a great... friend.

I'm a...

I'm a skilled imitator.



Are they going to South Africa too?

Yes, dear.

They're going to relieve our poor soldiers in Mafeking.

Is there something the matter with our soldiers in Mafeking?

The Boers have them all cut off.

We were unable to break through their lines and get help to them.

Miss Rose, my daddy's at Mafeking.

Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know.

Oh, it's miserable.


Darling, you mustn't cry.

I'm sure he'll be all right.

Good afternoon, Mr. Geoffrey.

Good afternoon. Is Miss Sara ready for her ride?

Yes, she'll be down presently.


Oh, are we all ready?

The two most beautiful ladies in the world.

Why are you not in your riding things?

I can't go today. Ermengarde needs extra tutoring today.

Oh, will it take all afternoon?

I'm afraid so.

I have to stay with her until she can spell Constantinople.

Heavens, that may take months.

You leave that to me.

Shall we go?

Have you been crying?

But you have, there are still tears in your eyes.

It's just this London fog.

Oh, well, if that's all, let's be off, shall we?

Mr. Geoffrey.

Would you mind very much if we didn't ride today?

Not at all, dear. But may I ask why not?

I'd like to talk to you.

All right.

You take advantage of my absence to become a riding master?

And next door to me own house?

Where's your family pride, boy?

Well, sir, one must eat, and family pride is a pretty thin diet.

Oh, blackmail?

You think I'll buy you off?

I hadn't thought of that, but it's not a bad idea.

I'll see you hanged, drawn and quartered for that.

Wait till I see the woman who runs this school.

I'll put a spoke in your wheel.

Do! She'd love to know my grandfather is Lord Wickham.

She'll probably raise my salary!


Moving up in the world.

What are you doing here?

Lunch meeting.

It's only weird if you make it weird.

So, what's your meeting?

College interview, actually.

They take you out to lunches for those?

They don't usually, but, um... the guy interviewing me is... was actually a friend of my stepdad's.

I heard.

I heard about that.

I'm sorry... for your loss.

It's been a tough time for my family.

But we're pushing through it.

Uh, I think... this is for you.

Just so you know...

I'm glad you didn't show up.


I wanted her to forget all about it, but... she... felt differently.

Did you, uh... talk to her after that?

She did write me a letter, though.

About a week ago.

What did it say?

Things actually aren't bad here.

Food's okay, staff are generally nice people.

The therapists have been working with me to fill in my memories of those missing hours.

And it's kind of a fun exercise.

I can tell them fucking anything and they'll just write it down and nod.

In other news, the ol' medication-of-the-month club is back in full swing, and the latest ones are making me sleep

14 hours a day and dream constantly.

You're in a lot of them.

In one of the recurring ones, we're in your living room, and I've just drank your drugged screwdriver... and you're screaming, asking me why I did it.

Asking me why I have a horse's head instead of my face.

And I wanna tell you that I don't, but I turn to you and I open my mouth and all that comes out is...

And then there's this other recurring dream that doesn't involve you at all.

And it goes like this:

I'm Honeymooner, and I'm dying.

And I rise out of my body, and I'm staring down at our whole suburb, and time is speeding up.

And I see generations of people coming, and going, and building bigger houses.

And then eventually... the people start spending more and more of their time staring at their smartphones.

And soon enough, they're forgetting to clean their houses, or mow their lawns, or eat, and eventually, all the houses rot and collapse, and the people disappear, vanishing completely into the Internet.

And then... and this is the really beautiful part, the horses take over.

And the whole suburb is just beautiful thoroughbred stallions with no owners and no memory of owners and no way of knowing how expensive they are, just mating and galloping through the ruins.

What did it say?

I don't know.

I just threw it away.