Trail Mix-Up (1993) Script

MAN 1: Hold on.

MAN 2: Come on.

Oh, I love the great outdoors.

Pick up the pace, Roger, you've got work to do.

(COUGHING) Have no fear, Mother, dear, I'm right behind you.

Ow!

(GRUNTS)

Cookie.

(WAILING)

MOTHER: Roger, you pin-headed klutz.

It's time your crazy shenanigans came to an end.

But you don't understand, I was cut off at the pass.

I won't slip up again, I promise.

Well, all right, I'll give you one more chance.

I'm going hunting.

You hear that, Baby Herman, hunting. Well, you two have a swell time.

Are you insane? Uh-huh.

Taking Baby hunting would be dangerous.

Well, leaving him with me is no picnic.

Baby Herman is staying with you and remember, if you get into any trouble, rabbit season opens today!

Oh, boy, it looks like it's just you and me, kid.

A couple of rugged pioneers. Let me show you how to make a fire.

I got a merit badge for this one.

(SEXY MUSIC PLAYING)

Scoot back, Baby Herman, you don't want to burn your weenie.

Need any help, little camper?

Of course not, I'm a regular mountain... Man, oh, man.

Talk about babes in the wood.

I must say, you do look like you know what you're doing.

(CHUCKLING DOPILY)

Have a nice lunch, boys.

And remember, only you can prevent forest fires.

(PANTING)

(GIGGLING)

Again.

This roughing it in the wilderness is great.

I feel so in tune with nature.

Yikes! A bug! (SCREAMS)

Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

(GAGGING)

Bee!

(SINGING)... in the kitchen with Roger. Someone's in the kitchen I...

Jeepers, there must be something in here we can eat.

Chocolate moose? I didn't even know they were in season.

Look, Baby Herman, there's vitamin A, and vitamin C and...

Hey, where's the vitamin...

Bee!

Baby Herman!

I got you! I got you!

(SCREAMING)

Wee! Oof!

(CHUCKLES)

Yo, goombah.

Huh?

(SCREAMS)

(MENACING MUSIC PLAYING)

Aah!

Gets them every time.

(WHIRRING)

(HUMMING)

(YELLING)

Doggy.

(WHIRRING)

Oop!

(GIGGLING)

Baby, come back! You're too little to play with wild animals.

Phew. I made it.

Baby Herman, come down!

(CHUCKLES) Hey!

Shiver me timbers!

Not the sawmill!

Aah! Aah!

Ow! Eee! Ooh! Ah! Hoo hoo! Aah!

(YELLING)

Good doggy.

I'll save you, Baby!

BABY HERMAN: Ooh!

BOTH: Ooh.

(SCREAMING)

(ALL CHATTERING)

Hey, where's Baby Herman? Have you seen Baby Herman?

Hey, Baby Herman!

I'm right behind you!

Jeepers, Baby Herman, you had me worried.

I almost dropped a log back there.

(SCREAMING)

(BABY HERMAN GIGGLING)

Baby!

Doggy.

Got you. (BABY HERMAN GIGGLES)

(CHUCKLING)

Oh, no!

(ALL YELLING)

BABY HERMAN: Uh-oh.

(BEAR YELLING)

(GIGGLES)

(HORN BLOWING)

MAN: Cut! Cut!

(YELLING)

(ALL YELLING)

(GRUNTING)

Roger, you star-spangled bonehead.

What? You ruined a national monument.

Please, don't get bent out of shape.

It's not like it's the end of the world.

(CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)


(ROGER YELLING)

Ooh!