Treasure of Matecumbe (1976) Script

(upbeat music)

♪ ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ BURNING DEEP WITHIN MY SOUL ♪

♪ A PLACE WHERE MAN AND DREAMS HAVE VANISHED ♪

♪ TREASURE WAITS TO TAKE ITS TOLL ♪

♪ YOU KNOW I HEAR YOU CALLING TO ME ♪

♪ WHILE HEARD FLIGHT ACROSS THE MOON ♪

♪ ALL MY PLANS ARE CLOAKED IN DARKNESS ♪

♪ SEEMS LIKE TOMORROW CAN'T COME TOO SOON ♪

♪ YOU KNOW I HEAR YOU CALLING TO ME ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ SHADOW CROSSED MY MIND ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ THE PLACE I HAVE TO FIND ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ THE PROMISE OF A NEW LIFE FOR ME ♪

♪ TELL YOUR TALES AND SING YOUR SONGS ♪

♪ UP THE CREEKS AND DOWN THE BAYOUS ♪

♪ EVERYONE KNOWS THAT IT WON'T BE LONG ♪

♪ UNTIL THE NEXT MAN DIES TRYING TO FIND YOU ♪

♪ AN ISLAND LOST IN A LONELY SEA ♪

♪ INCHING CROSS AN ENDLESS OCEAN ♪

♪ HEAR YOUR MISERY CALLING ME ♪

♪ BACK WHERE THE SEA'S THE ONLY MOTION ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ SHADOW CROSSED MY MIND ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ THE PLACE I HAVE TO FIND ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ THE PROMISE OF A NEW LIFE FOR ME ♪

(steel drums playing)

♪ ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪ ♪ MATECUMBE ♪ all: ♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪

♪ MATECUMBE ♪ ♪ MATECUMBE ♪

NOW, DAVIE, YOU CHANGE THOSE CLOTHES BEFORE YOU PUT BABE AWAY.

NOW, WHO'S THIS?

MISS EFFIE, MISS LOU...

DAVIE.

GONNA BE ANOTHER HOT ONE.

YOU MADE A MIGHTY LONG RIDE TO TELL US SOMETHING THAT WE ALREADY KNOW, SHERIFF COFFEY.

I'M AFRAID I WON'T HAVE TO RIDE SO FAR NEXT TIME.

WE'RE LOOKING FOR YOUR BLACK, BEN WOODS.

WHY, BEN HASN'T BEEN BACK HERE TO GRASSY SINCE HE WENT OFF TO THE WAR WITH CAPTAIN BURNIE.

MR. CATRELL HERE SAYS BEN RUN OFF WITH SOME OF HIS BELONGINGS.

THAT MAKES MR. CATRELL A LIAR.

HOLD ON THERE.

IF BEN SHOWS UP, PLEASE TELL HIM I'D LIKE TO SEE HIM.

WHAT DID HE MEAN HE WON'T HAVE SO FAR TO RIDE NEXT TIME?

OH, HE'S HEARD TALK THAT WE MIGHT LOSE THIS PLACE.

OH, EFFIE, YOU SHOULDN'T TALK THAT WAY IN FRONT OF THE BOY!

OH, MERCY!

WE'LL FIND A WAY TO KEEP GRASSY, DAVIE.

(imitating bird chirping)

♪ ♪ I BETTER GET CHANGED AND GET BABE OUT OF THE SUN!

AND THEN YOU'RE GOING TO STUDY SCRIPTURES.

NOW GO ALONG, THADDEUS!

GO ON NOW!

I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!

AW, COME ON! THAD NEEDS ME TO HELP HIM DIG BAIT.

WE'RE GOING FISHING.

NOT TODAY YOU'RE NOT.

MISS MILLINGTON SAID YOU WERE STUMBLING ALL THROUGH ISAIAH.

(imitating bird chirping)

DOESN'T THAT BOY HAVE A HOME?

NOW, GO ALONG NOW. HE'S GOT TWO!

HE'S GOT A SECRET TREE HOUSE, AND MR. STARK LETS HIM SLEEP IN HIS ROOF.

SO WHENEVER HE WANTS, HE CAN GET UP AND WORK A BIT FIRST...

(imitating owl hooting)

THAD?

BEN!

BEN! OH! BEN! OH!

OH! OH! DAVIE!

BEN, WHY DIDN'T YOU KNOCK AT THE FRONT DOOR?

SHH!

I COULDN'T TAKE THE CHANCE.

WHAT'S WRONG, BEN? YOU IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE?

IT'S TREASURE, DAVIE. GOLD!

GOLD YOUR DADDY BURIED TO KEEP SPANGLER FROM GETTING IT.

WELL, WHO'S SPANGLER?

THE DEVIL HISSELF.

NOW...

WHAT'S ALL THIS TALK ABOUT A TREASURE?

WELL, WE HAD JUST PUT DOWN CARGO AT MOBILE AND GOT PAID IN GOLD, 'CAUSE THAT WAS THE ONLY MONEY WORTH ANYTHING BY THEN.

AND CAPTAIN BURNIE DECIDED TO MAKE ONE MORE RUN TO THE BAHAMAS, AND THAT'S WHEN THE CUMBERLAND SPOTS US AND STARTS CLOSING IN ON US.

WAS THAT THAT YANKEE GUNBOAT THAT SUNK THE FLORAL BEE?

MM-HMM. SPANGLER'S BOAT.

BUT CAPTAIN BURNIE WAS SMART.

HE TOOK THE FLORAL BEE IN SHALLOW WATER WHERE THE CUMBERLAND COULDN'T GO.

AND THEN HE HIDE THAT GOLD.

THEN IT'S STILL BURIED SOMEWHERE?

YES, MA'AM. WAY OVER YONDER IN FLORIDA.

AND I GOT TO GET JIM BURNIE AND--

JIM BURNIE...

WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH THAT RAPSCALLION?

BUT CAPTAIN BURNIE TOLD ME THAT HIS BROTHER WOULD HELP ME TO GET THE GOLD FOR DAVIE SO THAT DAVIE WOULDN'T LOSE GRASSY.

JIM BURNIE NEVER DID FINISH ANYTHING IN HIS LIFE.

DO YOU NEED MONEY, BEN?

WELL, I AIN'T GOT NONE, MISS LOU.

WELL, WE CAN LET YOU HAVE A LITTLE.

LOU...

VERY LITTLE.

NOW...

JUST WHERE IS THIS GOLD SUPPOSED TO BE?

THERE WAS A MAP THAT CAPTAIN BURNIE SENT HOME BEFORE HE DIED.

I NEVER SAW A MAP IN CLAY'S THINGS.

IT'S IN THE BOOK...

THE ONE HE'S ALWAYS READING.

OF COURSE.

THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON THIS PAGE, EXCEPT THE LITTLE THAT HOMER WROTE.

WELL, I AIN'T LYING, MISS EFFIE.

THAT'S WHAT CAPTAIN BURNIE TOLD ME BEFORE HE DIED IN FORT DOUGLAS PRISON, AND I SWEAR TO THE LORD ON THAT.

WELL, YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF THERE'S NO MAP THERE.

AND, UH, WHO WAS THAT MAN WHO CAME LOOKING FOR YOU TODAY?

THAT'S ONE OF SPANGLER'S MEN.

THEY THINK I KNOW WHERE THE TREASURE IS, BUT I DON'T.

CAPTAIN BURNIE WON'T TELL ME. HE SAYS IT'S FOR MY OWN GOOD.

HEY, LOOK!

MAYBE HE MEANT HOLD IT OVER THE LAMP, LIKE THIS!

LOOK, THERE'S SOME WRITING!

"MATECUMBE KEY."

THAT'S AN "X"!

THAT MUST BE WHERE THE TREASURE IS.

THE CAPTAIN SAID HE BURIED IT UNDER A TREE, BUT HE DON'T SAY WHERE.

(suspenseful music)

♪ ♪

DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING, EFFIE?

OH, JUST THE WIND.

WHAT ON EARTH? IT'S SPANGLER!

OH! I KNEW IT!

(tapping)

IT'S HIM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS HOUSE?

WE'RE AFTER BURNIE'S BLACK.

DON'T TELL US HE ISN'T HERE, 'CAUSE WE KNOW HE IS.

MY SISTER AND MY NEPHEW AND MYSELF LIVE IN THIS HOUSE.

AND YOU HAVE AWAKENED US FROM A SOUND SLEEP.

NOW--NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

YOU MAKE IT A HABIT OF SLEEPING IN THE ATTIC?

(laughing)

THEY'RE COMING UP. BARRICADE THE DOOR.

DAVIE, COME HERE.

COME ON!

DAVIE!

DAVIE!

OH, GET OUT OF THE WAY. WATCH YOUR HAND.

(banging)

BEN! TAKE HIM, BEN!

COME ON! BEN!

BEN, THE MAP!

BREAK IT DOWN.

(screaming)

(screaming)

(loud ding)

EFFIE, I CAN'T!

I'LL GET HIM. (banging)

AAH! AAH!

(gunshot) AAH!

DAVIE...

DAVIE!

OH!

BEN?

THE MAP.

BEN?

BEN? SPREAD OUT!

DON'T LET HIM ESCAPE!

AROUND THE SIDE THERE. CHECK THEM BUSHES.

COME ON.

YOU TWO, DOWN IN THE HOLLER, CHECK THAT.

FIND THOSE BOYS.

GIDDAP! YAH! YAH! GIDDAP! YAH!

(gunshots)


WHOA.

AIN'T NOTHING UP AHEAD, CAPTAIN.

THEY MUST'VE TURNED OFF SOMEWHERE.

WHAT THEM MEN WANT WITH YOU, DAVIE?

I CAN'T TELL YOU NOW.

QUICK, HELP ME TURN THIS BOAT OVER.

CAN I COME WITH YOU?

I GOT A LONG WAY TO GO, THAD.

WHO I GOT TO GO FROGGIN' WITH IF YOU GONE?

AND WE CAN'T CALL A SECRET MEETING AT THE HIDEOUT WITH JUST ONE MEMBER PRESENT.

ALL RIGHT, HELP ME SHOVE OFF AND CLIMB IN.

LOOK.

THIS OLD MAN SNYDER'S BOAT.

WE'LL PAY FOR IT WHEN WE GET BACK...

IF WE GET BACK.

THAT'S THEM. TOOK TO THE RIVER.

THEY HAVE TO COME ASHORE...

SOMETIME.

YOU KEEP READING THAT MAP, YOU GONNA WEAR IT OUT.

I'M JUST STUDYING IT.

DAVIE, YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN FIND THAT TREASURE WAY DOWN THERE IN FLORIDA?

IT'S A LONG WAY FROM KENTUCKY.

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I'M SURE GONNA TRY.

MAYBE THERE'S ENOUGH GOLD TO KEEP THE CARPETBAGGERS FROM GETTING OUR PLACE.

WHERE'D YOU LIVE IF THEY'S TO GET GRASSY?

I KEEP THINKING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO AUNT EFFIE AND AUNT LOU.

THEY'VE ALWAYS LIVED THERE.

YOUR AUNT EFFIE AND AUNT LOU SURE WOULD BE SURPRISED IF YOU WAS TO FIND IT, WOULDN'T THEY?

DAVIE...

IF THOSE MEN CATCH UP WITH US, THEY MIGHT KILL US, SAME AS BEN!

I STILL WOULDN'T TELL THEM WHERE THE TREASURE IS.

NOT EVEN IF THEY WAS GONNA KILL YOU?

THEY COULDN'T MAKE ME.

ME NEITHER, DAVIE.

I LIKED BEN.

LET'S TAKE A SACRED OATH.

WE'LL NEVER TELL. NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO.

NO MATTER WHAT.

QUICK, THAD, IT'S A STERNWHEELER.

IT'S LIKE A BIG PLANTATION HOUSE.

JUST FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER.

YOU THINK THEY'LL LET US ON THERE, DAVIE?

WHY NOT? WE GOT MONEY.

COME ON.

HOW MUCH IS IT AS FAR AS FRIARS POINT?

WHAT CLASS, SON? SIR?

WELL, IT'S $5 FOR CABIN CLASS, $3 FOR BOILER, $2 FOR THE DECK.

TWO DECKS, PLEASE, FOR ME AND HIM.

THERE YOU GO. AFT, BOYS.

STRAIGHT BACK THERE, NOW, RIGHT THROUGH THE PASSAGE--

ANY SPOT THAT LOOKS COMFORTABLE.

(laughs) OH, HOWDY, FOLKS.

IS THAT WHERE WE'RE MEETING HIM--FRIARS POINT?

UNCLE JIM NEVER STAYS ANYWHERE TOO LONG, BUT THAT'S WHERE HE WAS LAST TIME HE WROTE AUNT EFFIE.

SHE CALLS HIM A BLACK SHEEP.

YOU THINK YOUR UNCLE WILL HELP YOU, DAVIE?

SURE, IF HE'S NOT TOO BUSY.

I GUESS MY UNCLE JIM CAN DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.

ANYTHING? THAT'S WHAT I SAID, ANYTHING.

(cow moos)

(sniffs)

(chickens clucking)

YOU SUPPOSE HE MEANT HERE?

I SLEPT ON WORSE THAN THIS BEFORE.

HEY!

LITTLE BOYS...

WHO KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR THEM DO NOT SIT ON BALES OF COTTON SPYING ON LADIES WHAT'S HIDING.

WE WASN'T.

WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE HERE.

OH, JUST A MINUTE, GENTLEMEN.

I'M CAPTAIN BOOMER. YOUR FARES, PLEASE.

I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE MY SISTER'S ABOARD THIS BOAT.

NOT HAVING HAD THE PLEASURE, I COULDN'T SAY.

SHE'S ABOUT 5'6", SHE'S WEARING A WEDDING DRESS.

NO ONE WEARING A WEDDING DRESS BOARDED THIS BOAT, I CAN ASSURE YOU.

SHE WOULDN'T BUY A TICKET FROM THE CLERK, YOU FOOL.

SHE'S A STOWAWAY.

SHE HASN'T GOT A RED CENT ON HER.

SHE'S TRYING TO GET TO NEW ORLEANS.

IF I FIND HER, SHE'LL BE PUT ASHORE LIKE ANY STOWAWAY.

MEANWHILE, GENTLEMEN, YOU HAVE EXACTLY TWO MINUTES BEFORE WE CAST OFF.

NOT TILL I FIND THAT HANDFUL, YOU'RE NOT.

IS THE BIG, UGLY ONE YOUR HUSBAND?

NO. AND HE'S NOT GOING TO BE.

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH MONEY THAT YANKEE'S GOT.

THEY COME LOOKING FOR YOU IN HERE, THEY'RE GONNA FIND YOU FOR SURE.

I KNOW, WE'LL HIDE YOU IN WITH THE ANIMALS.

(animals chattering)

I COULDN'T.

IF YOU DON'T, YOU GONNA GET MARRIED.

BUT LAURIETTE MIGHT HAVE HAD A CHANGE OF HEART, FARROW.

NONSENSE! SHE'S NERVOUS, THAT'S ALL.

WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT ON THEIR WEDDING DAY.

DID YOU SEE A LADY IN A WEDDING DRESS COME THROUGH HERE?

ANSWER ME AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT.

WHAT WOULD A LADY BE DOING DOWN HERE?

AND LET GO OF MY ARM!

PERHAPS WE SHOULD GET BACK TO THE GUESTS AND EXPLAIN THERE'S BEEN A POSTPONEMENT.

TO BLAZES WITH THE GUESTS!

WHAT ABOUT BACK THERE?

(animals chattering)

MOST BRIDES WOULD BE RATHER CONSPICUOUS AMONG THE LIVESTOCK.

BUT THEN, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOUR SISTER, SIR.

(clucking)

AH! (clears throat)

(horn blows)

LET'S--LET'S LOOK UPSTAIRS.

NOT UNLESS YOU BUY PASSAGE AS FAR AS COAHOMA, GENTLEMEN.

OTHERWISE, YOU'RE GOING TO SHORE, AS WE'RE SHOVING OFF IMMEDIATELY.

THEY'RE GONE.

OH.

OH. LORD.

(horn blowing)

(sighs) SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW--

IF YOU WANT IT, NANNY, IT'S YOURS TO CHEW.

I PRESUME...

ONE CAN GET TO THE LADIES' CABIN FROM HERE.

IF THAT DON'T BEAT ALL.

COULD'VE AT LEAST SAID, "GOOD DAY."

(sniffs)

(bell dinging)

WE'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE FOR BEING UP HERE, DAVIE.

THEY CAN ALWAYS SEND US DOWNSTAIRS.

HEY, THAD, LOOK!

HEY, AIN'T THAT THAT SAME LADY?

YEAH. WHAT'S SHE DOING IN THERE?

I'M NOT LOOKING TO STEAL YOUR MONEY, I'M LOOKING TO WIN IT ON THE UP AND UP.

VERY GOOD, SIR. NOW WATCH CLOSELY, SIR, AS I TAKE TWO RED ACES AND THE BABY CARD.

I PICK THEM UP SLOWLY, LIKE THIS.

PUT THEM DOWN ON THE TABLE, AS ALL I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO TELL ME WHERE'S THE BABY.

OOH, HE PICKS THE MIDDLE CARD.

I'M SORRY, SIR. YOU WERE CLOSE TO IT.

IT WAS RIGHT BESIDE THE BABY CARD.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO BET, FOLKS, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T SPECULATE, YOU CAN'T ACCUMULATE.

AND REMEMBER, I DON'T TAKE BETS FROM PAUPERS, STRIPPERS, OR GRANDMOTHERS.

WELL, SINCE I'M NONE OF THOSE, WOULD IT BE PERMISSIBLE IF I BET?

UNLESS, OF COURSE, CAPTAIN, YOU HAVE SOME REGULATIONS AGAINST IT. OF COURSE NOT.

IT'S JUST THAT WE RARELY HAVE THE LADIES VISIT US HERE ON THE TEXAS DECK. (chuckles)

AND...

WHAT GAME IS THIS?

OH, THIS IS A VERY SIMPLE GAME.

IT'S CALLED THREE-CARD MONTE.

NOW, WHAT I DO IS I PLAINLY DISPLAY THESE THREE CARDS--

TWO RED ACES AND A BABY CARD.

I TAKE THEM, AND I PLACE THEM ON THE TABLE FACEDOWN LIKE THAT.

THEN I REARRANGE THEM THUSLY.

NOW, REMEMBER THAT THIS IS NOT A TRICK OR A HUMBUG.

IT'S ALL ON THE UP AND UP.

THE IDEA OF THE GAME IS FOR YOU TO SEE IF YOU CAN PICK OUT THE BABY CARD.

AND IF YOU PICK OUT THE BABY CARD, IF YOUR EYE IS FASTER THAN MY HAND, YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ALL MY MONEY.

OH! THAT DOES LOOK LIKE FUN.

HOW MUCH WOULD YOU LIKE TO BET?

MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF, LADY.

WELL, I HAVE NO IDEA.

IS UM, OH, $500 ENOUGH?

(gasps)

$500! SHE DON'T HAVE NO $500.

SHE DON'T HAVE NO FIVE CENTS.

WELL, I'LL HAVE TO SEE THE COLOR OF YOUR MONEY, LADY.

AND REMEMBER, THEM JEFF DAVIS DOLLARS DON'T GO VERY FAR THESE DAYS.

(laughing)

SIR, YOU ARE ADDRESSING A SOUTHERN LADY.

I HAVE NEVER HAD ANYONE BEFORE QUESTION MY VERACITY.

THE LOSER BETTER BE ABLE TO PAY UP.

ALL CHEATERS AND WELSHERS ON MY BOAT--

SOUTHERN LADIES OR NOT-- GET PUT OFF ON A SANDBAR.

YOU SEE THAT?

THAT MUST BE THE BABY CARD.

SHE'LL NEVER FIND IT NOW.

SHE GONNA BE IN BIG TROUBLE WHEN SHE CAN'T PAY UP.

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

NOW, YOU WATCH REAL CLOSE, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA DO IT REAL SLOW FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A PRETTY LADY.

NOW HERE I GO.

I'M GONNA PUT THEM DOWN LIKE THAT SO SLOW, AS ALL I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO TELL ME, WHERE'S THE BABY?

OH.

OH, WELL, LET ME SEE NOW. UM...

THAT--NO, UM, THIS ONE.

AH! I JUST CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO LOOK.

WHY DON'T YOU TURN OVER THE OTHER TWO CARDS?

THAT--THAT'S NOT THE WAY THE GAME IS PLAYED, LADY.

(laughter)

WELL...

IF THIS IS...IS AN ACE...

(laughter)

AND IF THIS IS AN ACE...

(laughter)

WELL, THEN THE THIRD CARD HAS TO BE A BABY.

IT'S JUST SIMPLE LOGIC, ISN'T IT?

SIR, IF I UNDERSTAND THE GAME, YOU OWE ME $500.

(laughter and applause)

ISN'T THIS EXCITING?

(laughter)

THIS DIAMOND RING IS WORTH WELL OVER $100.

IT'LL MORE THAN TAKE CARE OF THE BALANCE.

OH, NO, I HATE TO DO THAT TO YOU.

OF COURSE, I'D HATE TO HAVE YOU PUT OFF ON A SANDBAR.

(chuckles)

NOW...WHY DON'T WE SHOW THESE GENTLEMEN THE BABY CARD?

NO, NO, NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

WELL, GENTLEMEN...

THE GAME IS OVER.

GOOD DAY.

CAPTAIN, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY ACCOMMODATIONS.

I'D LIKE SOMETHING... A LITTLE BIGGER.

OF COURSE.

SAY, BY ANY CHANCE, YOU WOULDN'T BE--

NO, I WOULDN'T BE.

BYE! BYE!

BYE. BYE NOW. BYE.


(bell clanging)

HUH! MY MAP!

HEY, GIVE ME THAT BACK!

GIVE ME THAT! IT'S MINE!

HELP! THIEF!

NO!

STOP! THIEF! HE'S GOT MY MONEY!

SOMEBODY STOP HIM!

HELP, HELP! HE STOLE MY MONEY!

ROBBER!

HEY! HOLD ON, NOW. HOLD ON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOIN--AAH!

HELP!

DON'T WORRY! I'M COMING.

DAVIE, LOOK OUT!

AAH! AAH!

(coughing and sputtering)

HERE I AM...

50 MILES FROM SKUNK JUNCTION WITH A DRESS THAT LOOKS LIKE A POT CLEANER.

TO SAY NOTHING OF MY $400.

IT JUST FLOATED ALL AWAY.

AND ALL BECAUSE OF SOME CURSED QUIRK OF FATE THAT KEEPS HAVING ME THROWN IN WITH THE TWO OF YOU.

WE WERE JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU.

TWO CANNONBALLS WOULD'VE BEEN MORE HELP.

WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING ON THAT BOAT ANYWAY?

WE'RE GOING TO A KEY.

DOWN BY FLORIDA.

THAT'S ALL WE CAN TELL YOU.

NOW, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE...

LOOK AT ME!

I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT ME AND GIVE ME SOME STRAIGHT ANSWERS.

IF YOU PUT ON SOME CLOTHES, WE COULD LOOK AT YOU.

WELL, NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT.

WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING ON THAT RIVER?

SO WE SWITCHED OLD MAN SNYDER'S BOAT BEFORE SPANGLER COULD CATCH US.

SPANGLER? THE DEVIL HISSELF!

(laughing)

DO YOU STILL HAVE THIS MAP?

THE ROUSTER THREW IT OVERBOARD.

WHAT WAS IT A MAP OF?

WE CAN'T TELL YOU THAT, MA'AM.

IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

BUT SINCE YOU TRIED TO HELP US AND YOU LOST ALL YOUR MONEY AND EVERYTHING, WELL, IF WE FIND WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR, WE'LL SEE THAT YOU'RE AMPLY REWARDED.

THAT'S VERY GENEROUS OF YOU.

IF YOU NEVER PLAYED THAT THREE-CARD MONTE BEFORE, HOW COME YOU KNOW HOW TO WIN THAT MAN?

IF THERE'S ONE THING I LEARNED FROM MY BROTHER, IT'S HOW TO SPOT A CHEAT.

HOWDY!

WHOA.

HOW FAR IS IT TO THE NEXT TOWN?

COAHOMA IS SEVEN MILE THAT WAY.

SEVEN MILES.

WOULD YOU BE KIND ENOUGH TO CARRY US THERE?

ANY FOOL CAN SEE I AIN'T GOING THAT WAY.

AND IF I WAS, I WOULDN'T HAUL MY OWN KIN SEVEN MILE FOR NOTHING.

PERHAPS...

YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN SELLING THIS HERE MULE AND RIG?

YOU GOT MONEY?

NOT ON MY PERSON, NATURALLY.

NOT ENOUGH TO BUY A FINE ANIMAL LIKE THIS.

I'D HAVE TO LEAVE SOME SORT OF COLLATERAL TILL THE, UH--

TILL THE BANK LEAVES MY DRAFT.

YOU MEAN A SWAP?

(kids laughing and yelling)

WHOA!

WHAT ARE WE STOPPING HERE FOR?

JUST LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME.

COME ON.

MA'AM.

(clears throat)

SHERIFF.

I HAVE TWO RUNAWAY BOYS TO LEAVE WITH YOU.

WHAT? WELL, DAVIE, YOU DIDN'T EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT WILD STORY ABOUT MAPS AND WHATNOT.

BUT, MISS LAURIETTE! IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

YOU'LL BOTH THANK ME WHEN YOU'RE BACK WITH YOUR PARENTS.

WHERE ARE YOU BOYS FROM?

UP NORTH OF HERE.

BUT WE DIDN'T REALLY RUN AWAY. I MEAN, NOT BECAUSE--

IF THEY DON'T TELL YOU WHERE THEY'RE FROM, YOU JUST PUT OUT A FUGITIVE NOTICE ON THEM.

SOMEBODY WILL KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT! SPANGLER WILL SEE IT!

HA! DAVIE, IF I HEAR ABOUT SPANGLER ONE MORE TIME...

NOW, NOW, YOU BOYS BETTER COME ON BACK HERE WITH ME.

YOU CAN'T PUT US IN JAIL. IT AIN'T JAIL.

IT'S WHAT WE CALL PROTECTIVE CUSTODY.

COME ON, BOYS, JUST TILL YOUR FOLKS COME TO CLAIM YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT IN HERE.

(keys jingling, door locks)

NOW, MA'AM...

IF YOU COULD JUST WRITE DOWN A FEW THINGS YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BOYS-- YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU FOUND THEM, THEIR AGES, THINGS LIKE THAT.

AAH! HELP! HELP!

OW, MY ARM!

IT'S THAD! HE'S BEEN BIT BY A SPIDER!

OW, IT WERE A TARANTULA, I SEEN IT.

IT WAS AS BIG AS A JAWLIT.

CRAWLED IN UNDER THERE. IT MUST'VE HAD EIGHT LEGS.

I JUST BET.

OW, OW, MY ARM!

(loud whining)

LET ME SEE, COME ON. COME ON, LET ME SEE IT.

OW, OW!

WAIT!

DAVID BURNIE, YOU COME BACK HERE!

RESISTING ARREST IS A FELONY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT WE'VE BEEN IN WORSE TROUBLE THAN THAT FOR THREE DAYS.

(dogs barking)

I'D LIKE TO GET MY HANDS ON THOSE TWO.

THANKS, LAMAR.

THEM JUST BOYS WHO NEED A LITTLE GUIDANCE, THAT'S ALL.

THEY DON'T LACK FOR IMAGINATION, I'LL TELL YOU--

ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT SECRET MAPS AND PEOPLE GETTING KILLED.

THEY TOLD ME THE BIGGEST PACK OF LIES SINCE THE CARPETBAGGERS CAME DOWN HERE.

HA! (laughter)

HEY, SHERIFF.

ANY IDEA WHERE THOSE TWO RASCALS MIGHT BE HEADED?

OH, THEY'LL PROBABLY KEEP TO THE RIVER.

MOST FUGITIVES DO.

(chuckles)

(laughing)


♪ OH, HE FELT A CHILL AND HE TOOK TO HIS BED ♪

♪ HE MADE HIS WILL, HAD THE GOOD BOOK READ ♪

♪ HE WAS FADING TILL DR. SNODGRASS' PILL ♪

♪ HAD HIM UP AND ABOUT IN THE MORNING ♪

(laughing)

♪ OH, THIS IS THE BURDEN OF MY TALE ♪

♪ SNODGRASS' PILL CAN NEVER FAIL ♪ AH, FINE DAY FOR A CONSTITUTIONAL, INCREASES THE CIRCULATION, REDUCES GENERAL DEBILITY.

SIR?

YOU BOYS ALONE?

JUST ME AND THAD.

HMM.

WHAT YOU MAKING?

ELIXIR OF SWAMP ROOT.

(laughing)

FUNNEL, THERE WE ARE.

YES, THAT'S FROM THE ANCIENT FORMULA OF THE AZTEC ABORIGINAL.

(chuckles)

WHAT'S IT FOR?

CONSUMPTION, KING'S EVIL, GOUT, GOITER, THE SCURVY, CARBUNCLES, DYSPEPSIA, GENERAL SKIN DISORDER.

(shudders)

IT CAN CURE ALL THAT?

THAT AND MORE.

AND OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, YOU ARE THE ONLY TWO TO HAVE SEEN THE NOSTRUM IN ITS FORMULATION.

MM-HM-HM.

ARE YOU GOING DOWNRIVER?

COULD YOU USE SOME HELP AS FAR AS FRIARS POINT?

ARE YOU BOYS WANTED?

IT'S KIND OF A LONG STORY.

AND YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I'M THROUGH.

OH.

WELL, SOME PEOPLE DON'T.

WELL, OF COURSE, I COULDN'T OFFER YOU MORE THAN THE USUAL APPRENTICE WAGE--

ONE DOLLAR A WEEK WITH SUSTENANCE AND LODGING.

BUT THEN, OF COURSE, YOU'D HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF SERVING THE GREATEST MASTER OF THE HEALING ARTS.

WHO'S THAT?

ME--DOCTOR...

MAY I PRESENT MYSELF?

EWING T. SNODGRASS.

M.C.P.M.P.H.U.

THERE WE GO.

OOH!

COME ALONG NOW, MEDICAL STUDENTS.

EARN YOUR DOLLAR, BRING MY BAGS.

♪ DO YOU SEE THAT MAN WITH A BACK SO STRONG? ♪

♪ DO YOU HEAR THAT MAN WHEN HIS HEART BEATS STRONG? ♪

(chanting nonsensically)

GOOD PEOPLE OF BOSKY DELL, YOU ARE ALL FAR SICKER THAN YOU THINK.

MY OPENING INCANTATION WAS, AS ALWAYS, IN THE CHOCTAW TONGUE, AND DEDICATED TO THE LATE, GREAT CHIEF WAWATUSSE.

I AM INDEBTED TO THIS GREAT CHIEF AND TO THE WHOLE CHOCTAW NATION FOR MY RUGGED CONSTITUTION--

NAY, FOR MY LIFE.

WHAT'D THEY DO FOR YOU?

WHAT DID THEY DO FOR ME?

TRUSSES.

(quiet chatter)

NOW I HAVE AT HAND A LIMITED SUPPLY OF THEM.

AND I'M WILLING TO LET YOU HAVE THEM FOR ONE DOLLAR APIECE.

AND I'M GOING TO SEND MY TWO YOUNG CHOCTAW ASSISTANTS--

SWIFT DEER AND BRAVE BEAR--

AMONG YOU IN ORDER TO HELP YOU ADJUST THEM ACCORDING TO YOUR OWN PARTICULAR REQUIREMENTS.

(speaking nonsensically)

COME ON.

I'LL TAKE ONE.

OVER HERE.

I'LL TAKE ONE. I WANT ONE.

I HAVE A DOLLAR.

IF, MY FRIENDS-- IF YOU ARE NOT REJUVENATED WITH NEW STRENGTH, NEW VIGOR...

WHOA.

WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THESE TRUSSES, YOU'LL GET DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK AND 5 CENTS OF THE 10 CENTS FOR THE INSTRUCTION BOOKS.

AHA! THERE WE ARE.

IF ANY OF YOU HAPPEN TO BE INTERESTED IN THE LONG LIFE, YOU'D DO WELL TO INVEST IN DOCTOR SNODGRASS' FEVER, AGUE, AND LIVER PADS.

THEY'RE THE ONLY KNOWN CURE FOR MALARIA, DYSPEPSIA, ACHING JOINTS, DUST MITES--

WHAT TRIBE YOU FROM AGAIN?

UH...CHOCTAW.

UH, COME AGAIN?

YOU HEARD THE MAN, CHOCTAW.

(chanting)

I WISH YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE RECEIVING THESE AT COST.

SWIFT DEER, BRAVE BEAR...

PERHAPS YOU'D RUN BACK AND FIND US SOME MORE OF OUR MIRACLE MEDICINE.

(speaking nonsensically)

AH, THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEIR OWN LANGUAGE, DO THEY, DARLING?

INCORRIGIBLE.

AND YET, YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO LOVES CHILDREN LOVES THEM.

GOT TO HURRY SO DR. SNODGRASS WON'T LOSE THE CROWD.

(loud knocking)

DON'T BREAK IT DOWN. I'M COMING.

YES, MA'AM?

ARE YOU THE LAW IN THIS TOWN?

DOES THAT LOOK LIKE IT COME OFF A CHRISTMAS TREE?

WELL, SHERIFF, WHILE YOU SLEEP AWAY THE BETTER PART OF THE DAY, YOU HAVE IN YOUR MIDST TWO RUNAWAY BOYS DISGUISED AS INDIANS WHO HAVE FALLEN INTO THE HANDS OF A CHARLATAN, AN OBVIOUS FRAUD WHO IS HOGSWOGGLING THE CITIZENS OF THIS TOWN WITH WORTHLESS CONTRAPTIONS AND USELESS CONCOCTIONS.

IS HIS NAME SNODGRASS? THAT'S THE ONE.

I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SLICK BOOT.

YOU WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON HIM.

WHERE IS HE?

THAT LITTLE STREAM JUST OUTSIDE OF TOWN.

YOU'LL HEAR HIM BEFORE YOU SEE HIM.

SHERIFF, TELL ME, WHERE CAN I SELL THAT MULE AND RIG AND GET MYSELF A STEAMSHIP TICKET AND SOME KIND OF A DECENT DRESS?

FRANK CAGNEY DEALS IN MULES.

NOW, IF YOU WANT TO GET YOURSELF A STEAMSHIP TICKET, YOU GOT TO GO DOWN THE RIVER TO START A FIRE, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

SOMETIMES IT START, SOMETIMES IT DON'T.

THERE'S A DECENT DRY GOODS STORE AROUND THE CORNER.

YOU JUST WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON THAT SNODGRASS.

HE AIN'T GONNA NEVER HOGSWOGGLE ANYBODY ANYMORE.

I GUARANTEE YOU THAT.

CAN YOU ALL SEE AT LEAST THE BOX?

(chuckles)

WELL, NOW, OBVIOUSLY THE LAST THING I WISH TO DO IS TO FIT GLASSES TO THOSE WHO HAVE NO NEED FOR THEM.

NO, NO. HEY, YOU!

SHERIFF FORBES, WELL, THIS IS PROVIDENCE INDEED.

DON'T YOU PROVIDENCE ME.

LAST YEAR YOU SOLD ME AN ELECTRIC BELT GUARANTEED TO RESTORE MALE VIGOR, AND ALL I GOT OUT IS A CASE OF HIVES.

(murmuring)

(laughs) OH, SHERIFF FORBES.

UH-UH. (chuckles)

NEXT TIME YOU GET TO FALL OUT OF THE TREE.

THAT SPOOJU JUICE TASTES AWFUL.

REMEMBER WHAT DR. SNODGRASS SAY.

DON'T SCRATCH OR DO NOTHING, EVEN IF YOU GET AN ITCH.

ALL RIGHT. GET GOING.

NOW THAT MY LIVER PADS HAVE CALMED YOUR IRASCIBILITY, WE'LL PROCEED WITH YOUR EYE TEST.

WOULD YOU DO ME THE GOODNESS OF READING THE FIRST LINE, PLEASE?

E, B, F, G, K.

CORRECT.

(positive murmuring) SECOND LINE, PLEASE.

R, S, M, T, 1.

THAT IS "I."

(laughter)

STILL, IT'S VERY GOOD.

THE THIRD LINE NOW, PLEASE.

A, H, P, C, Y.

EXCELLENT.

FOURTH LINE.

THERE AIN'T NO FOURTH LINE.

HOW VERY STRANGE.

I THOUGHT THERE WAS THIS MORNING.

YOU MAY BE RIGHT.

NO FOURTH LINE? (all gasping)

UH, TRY THESE RUGGED, MASCULINE GLASSES--

NOTHING AT ALL INTELLECTUAL ABOUT THEM.

IF THERE'S ANY ADJUSTMENT, WE CAN DO IT LATER IF THE EYELASHES HAPPEN TO CATCH THE LENS.

(mutters)

I CAN SEE IT PLAIN AS DAY.

M, H, R, T, A.

M, H, R, T, A. (all gasping)

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL!

YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE, MY FRIENDS, OF THE BURDENS WHICH SO MANY OF US CARRY UNNECESSARILY THROUGH LIFE.

I HOPE YOU REALIZE NOW, SHERIFF FORBES, WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING FOR SO LONG.

NO FOURTH LINE.

(audience aws)

MISTER! YOU A DOCTOR?

D.C.M.P.P.H.U.

BUT DO NOT DISTURB ME NOW, SON.

THERE'S A BOY WHO FELL OUT OF A TREE.

WELL!

I THINK HIS BACK'S BROKE.

HIS BACK IS BROKEN?

MEDICAL ETHICS WILL NOT PERMIT ME TO TARRY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

NO, I NEED NO HELP. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

THANK YOU. LEAD ME TO THAT UNFORTUNATE LAD.

THIS WAY. LEAD ME TO THE BROKEN BACK.

COME ON! HELP IS ON THE WAY IF YOU CAN HEAR ME!

COME ON.

(action music)

♪ ♪ I SEEN HIM. I SEEN HIM FALL.

I ASKED HIM IF HE WAS ALL RIGHT, BUT HE JUST LAY THERE AND SAY NOTHING.

CALM--CALM DOWN.

KEEP BACK, EVERYONE.

STAND BACK.

IS HE ALIVE?

BARELY. IT'S A VERTEBRAL SEVERANCE, I'M AFRAID.

YES, IT'S A HIATUS OF THE VITAL FLUID.

HVF, AS WE LIKE TO CALL IT.

I ONLY HOPE WE'RE NOT TOO LATE.

I WISH YOU'D CALLED ME A LITTLE EARLIER, BUT OF COURSE BY THEN, HE'D NOT YET FALLEN OUT OF THE TREE, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

YES, JUST A MOMENT.

I WOULD LIKE SOME OF THE RUBY NUTRIENT ANODYNE, PLEASE.

WHAT?

THE SPOOJU JUICE, WHICH I SOLD YOU.

IS THIS IT? IT'S ONLY ONE DOLLAR A BOTTLE.

NOW WE'RE GOING TO TRY THIS ON THE BOY.

NOW, COME ON.

THAT'S THE WAY, LAD.

JUST A SIP SHOULD DO IT.

THIS NOSTRUM IS EXTREMELY POTENT.

COME ON. SIP, SIP.

EXTREMELY POTENT FOR SUCH A MODEST PRICE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WE SHOULD SEE THE YOUNGSTER UP AND ABOUT IN NO TIME.

THAT'S IT.

NOW, THE ELIXIR SHOULD WORK IN ABOUT TEN SECONDS.

THAT IS, OF COURSE, THAT IS-- THAT IS, IF THERE'S ANY LIFE LEFT IN THE LAD AT ALL.

(all gasping)

AHA.

YOU'LL NOTICE HOW THE COLOR HAS RETURNED TO THE YOUNGSTER'S CHEEKS.

ARE YOU FEELING BETTER, SON? YE--OH!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

DAVIE.

THIS SEEMS RATHER GRAVER THAN I HAD AT FIRST THOUGHT.

NOW, COME ALONG, LAD, YOU CAN FEEL MY RUBY ELIXIR COURSING THROUGH YOUR VEINS, CAN'T YOU?

IT IS TAKING EFFECT, LAD.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, BOY, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, SPEAK TO ME.

SPEAK TO ME. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

DAVIE BURNIE. AND HE'S A RUNAWAY FROM KENTUCKY.

IT'S SPANGLER, THAD. GET OUT OF HERE.

OUT OF THE WAY. OUT OF THE WAY!

(all screaming)

NOW YOU'VE DONE IT GOOD.


YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT.

HAND IT OVER, BOY.

PUT UP YOUR HANDS, YOU ALL HEAR?

YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED.

GROWN MEN PICKING ON THAT BOY?

NO, MA'AM, WE DON'T MEAN THE BOY ANY HARM.

HE TOOK SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO ME.

I WANT IT BACK.

SIMPLE AS THAT.

(gunshot)

(gun clicks)

COME ON OVER HERE, DAVIE.

I DON'T SAY THINGS THAT I DON'T MEAN, SIR.

NOW YOU ALL PUT UP YOUR HANDS AND TURN AROUND.

COME ON, ALL OF YOU.

NOW WALK BACK TO THE EDGE WHERE YOU HAD THE BOY.

I SAID, "WALK"!

COME ON.

WALK.

(gunshot)

NOW...

YOU JUMP, YANKEE.

YOU DEFILE THIS LAND.


(gun cocks)

LOOK OUT BELOW!

COME ON, DAVIE.

NOTHING OF INTEREST TO YOU DOWN THERE.

THANK YOU, SON.

A GENEROUS APPLICATION OF MY AESCULAPIUS OINTMENT WOULD HAVE THOSE ABRASIONS GONE BY THE MORNING.

ALONG WITH HIS ARM.

WELL, I BELIEVE YOU NOW ABOUT SPANGLER.

OOH.

I NEVER SAW SUCH A PARCEL OF CUTTHROATS.

WHY, THEY'D HAVE KILLED US ALL FOR A $5 PIECE.

WHAT WERE THEY AFTER?

DAVIE, I THINK THAT YOU OUGHT TO FIND THAT UNCLE OF YOURS.

YOU TELL HIM YOUR PROBLEM. MAYBE HE CAN HELP YOU.

UNCLE JIM CAN DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.

HE ONCE STARTED A SALT FACTORY BY THE OCEAN.

BUT THE DAM BUSTED, AND ALL THE SALT WASHED AWAY.

AND HE HAD HIS OWN RAILROAD ONCE.

BUT IT WAS BUILT OVER A BOG, AND A WHOLE TRAIN DISAPPEARED.

SOUNDS LIKE YOUR UNCLE HAS THE MIDAS TOUCH.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT I GUESS MY UNCLE'S JUST ABOUT FAMOUS.

I CAN ONLY TELL YOU THAT I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION AFFIDAVITS FROM SOME OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE IN THE LAND, TESTIFYING TO THE FACT THAT ONE SINGLE BOTTLE OF SPOOJU JUICE RESCUED THEM AFTER YEARS OF THE MOST INTOLERABLE PAIN.

YOU'LL FIND JIM BURNIE DOWN YONDER.

BUT IF YOU ALL WANT TO TALK TO HIM, YOU'LL HAVE TO HURRY.

(distant arguing) SIR?

IS MR. BURNIE GOING SOMEPLACE?

ONE WAY OR 'TOTHER HE IS.

(arguing gets louder)

MAYBE IT'S A REVIVAL MEETING OR A GOING-AWAY PARTY.

MAYBE IT IS. MAYBE IT ISN'T.

(shrieking and shouting)

IT'S A LYNCHING.

THAT UNCLE JIM? I SUSPECT SO.

UNCLE JIM!

DAVIE, WAIT!

(shouts)

THERE'S NO PLACE FOR YOU THERE.

UNCLE JIM!

UNCLE JIM! IS THAT YOU?

WHO ARE YOU?

DAVID BURNIE FROM GRASSY.

DAVIE?

YES, SIR.

WELL, SORRY TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.

WHAT BRINGS YOU TO FRIARS POINT?

WE'RE ALL HEADED DOWN THE RIVER TO NEW ORLEANS, AND WE STOPPED BY TO GET YOU.

I'M AFRAID I'M TIED UP.

WHO'S WE?

ME, MISS PAXTON, AND SOME OTHERS.

MA'AM.

I'D TIP MY HAT, BUT...

LET'S GO.

LET'S CUT THIS JABBER AND GET THIS HERE TREE DECORATED.

I AGREE.

BURNIE, I HOPE YOUR CARCASS WILL BE A WARNING TO THE NEXT MAN.

NO!

(shouting) GET OUT OF HERE. GO ON!

TEAR THESE UP INTO STRIPS, THIS LINING.

AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE...

SOLDIER OF EXTERMINATION, SLAY ALL THE TRAITORS.

THRICE AGAIN SHALL VENGEANCE WREAK TILL BLOOD SHALL FLOW THROUGH EVERY CREEK.

BONES ARE--

IF I'M ON MY WAY TO KINGDOM COME, I DON'T WANT THE LAST WORDS I HEAR TO BE YOUR KLAN CLAPTRAP.

GRANT ME A LAST WISH.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

GLAD TO OBLIGE.

LET THIS BE A LESSON TO THE NEXT DO-GOODER WHO TRIES TO POKE HIS NOSE IN OUR BUSINESS.

(gunshot)

(shouting)

GRAB AHOLD OF THAT KID AND GIVE HIM WHAT-FOR!

OVER MY DEAD BODY.

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, AIN'T NOBODY HERE GONNA FUSS, SWEETIE.

THIS IS THE WRATH OFGOD!

VENGEANCE IS MINE!

(explosions and shouting)

YOU GONNA REAP WHAT Y'ALL SOW.

GET YOURSELVES, MY GOD, YOU HEAR?

(explosions and shouting)

FRIGHTEN THE HORSES. (horses neighing)

THE PHILISTINES ARE IN FLIGHT!

COME ALONG. SHUT THE BAG, WILL YOU?

FOLLOW ME. (muttering)

(laughs)

I'LL TESTIFY FOR ONCE YOUR SPOOJU JUICE REALLY DID HELP SOMEONE.

(sighs)

HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

THADDEUS.

THADDEUS, YEAH?

THAT'S SOME MIGHTY FINE SHOOTING, LAD.

THAT WAS A BRAVE THING YOU DID.

AND THERE WERE SOME OTHER ISLANDS RIGHT ABOUT HERE CALLED KEYS.

AND THE CYPRESS TREES WERE RIGHT HERE.

AND THE "X" WHERE WE THINK THE TREASURE IS WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THIS TREE HERE.

UH-UH, BY THIS ONE.

IT'S KIND OF HARD TO KEEP THINGS STRAIGHT IN YOUR HEAD.

MUST BE SOMETHING THERE, OR THIS SPANGLER WOULDN'T BE AFTER IT.

WELL, BEN SAID IT WAS REAL VALUABLE.

YOU CAN FIND IT, CAN'T YOU, UNCLE JIM?

IT'S A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK.

BUT I HAVE NO BETTER PROSPECTS AT THE MOMENT.

DOCTOR, HOW ABOUT THROWING IN WITH US?

WITH DAVIE'S APPROVAL OF COURSE. SURE.

OH, TEN YEARS AGO, I WOULD HAVE SEIZED THE CHANCE.

BUT, NO, I SIMPLY CANNOT IGNORE THE CALL OF THOSE POOR UNFORTUNATES ALONG THE RIVER.

AND YOU THINK OUR CHANCES ARE PRETTY SLIM.

(chuckles)

WELL, THE BOYS AND I WILL STICK WITH YOU AS FAR AS NEW ORLEANS, IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

OH, IT'S MY PLEASURE.

THEN WE'LL HEAD FOR TAMPA AND OUTFIT OURSELVES FOR THE FINAL LEG TO WHITEWATER COVE.

FRANKLY, MR. BURNIE, I THINK THAT YOU'RE COURTING DISASTER.

EVEN IF YOU FIND THAT TREASURE, SPANGLER WILL TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU, AND HE'LL KILL YOU ALL INTO THE BARGAIN.

THERE'S NO LAW DOWN IN THOSE SWAMPS, YOU KNOW.

PEOPLE JUST DISAPPEAR.

THEY'RE NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN.

(melancholy harmonica music)

♪ ♪


TO HEAR DAVIE TALK, YOU COULD PART THESE WATERS, AND WE COULD GO THE REST OF THE WAY BY CARRIAGE.

(chuckles)

NOT THAT FOR A MOMENT I'D EVEN CONSIDER IT, IT'S JUST I'M CURIOUS WHY YOU DIDN'T ASK ME TO GO ALONG TO THIS, UH...

MATECUMBE.

I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D BE OUT OF PLACE.

UH, YOU HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT A WOMAN'S PLACE.

NO OFFENSE, MA'AM, BUT IN MY OPINION, IT'S IN THE HOME.

IN MY EXPERIENCE, LADIES OF YOUR STATION ARE POSITIVELY UNSURPASSED AT PARLOR TALK.

I'VE RARELY SEEN ANYTHING AS ATTRACTIVE AS A BEVY OF YOU AT A BALL.

I'M SURE YOU COULD SNAP A FAN WITH THE BEST OF 'EM.

ALL THAT WOULD JUST GO TO WASTE IN THE SWAMPS, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

I'LL SAY GOOD DAY, MR. BURNIE.

JUST CALL ME JIM.

(laughs)

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH YOUR SHARE OF THE MONEY, THAD?

WELL...

I ALWAYS WANTED A MULE OF MY OWN, LIKE THAT ONE BACK IN COAHOMA.

OR MAYBE I'LL GET ME ONE OF THOSE THREE-BLADED KNIVES IN MR. BUTTON'S WINDOW.

YOU COULD ALSO BUY YOURSELF A NEW LIFE WITH THAT MONEY, THAD.

HOW DO YOU BUY A NEW LIFE?

THROUGH KNOWLEDGE, LEARNING.

IT'S LEARNING, YOU SEE, THAT'LL REALLY SET YOU FREE.

LEARN ALL YOU CAN ABOUT EVERYTHING, AND IT'LL OPEN UP NEW HORIZONS FOR YOU.

(humming)

THERE'S A LANDING ROUND THE BEND.

THEY'RE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN ON THIS STRETCH.

I ALWAYS MAKE A POINT OF STOPPING HERE FOR PROVISIONS.

FINE, DOC.

MR. BURNIE, I'VE THROWN TOGETHER SOME MILLET PUREE.

I WONDER IF I COULD TAKE A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME FOR YOUR EXPERT OPINION ON THAT SUBJECT.

DAVIE, GIVE MISS PAXTON'S FIXINS A TRYING.

IF IT PASSES MUSTER WITH DAVIE, YOU'LL KNOW IT'S A SUCCESS.

(clattering)

(pot bangs)

I'LL TAKE THE TILLER, BURNIE.

THANK YOU.

MIND IF WE TIE ON?

WON'T BE A MINUTE.


YOU BOYS WANT TO STRETCH YOUR LEGS?

NO, THANKS.

MUCH OBLIGED.

GENTLEMEN.

WELL, GOOD...

MUSIC HATH CHARMS TO SOOTHE THE SAVAGE BREAST.

WHO SAID THAT?

WILLIAM CONGREVE, 1670-1729.

(plays an upbeat, folksy tune) COME ON, THAD.

REMEMBER WHAT WE PRACTICED.

COME ON, DAVIE.

♪ ♪


(murmurs appreciatively)

IT'S... NICE.

HEY, CURLY, GET THAT SCREECH BOX OF YOURS GOING.

LET'S SHOW 'EM HOW IT'S REALLY DONE. all: YEAH!

(upbeat tune plays)

♪ ♪


(grunts) all: OH!

(whistles)

HEY, LOOKY THERE.

LOOKY THERE, A REAL LIVE FEMALE.

(cheers and whoops)

(music continues)

♪ ♪


WHY, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE HAVING A PARTY.

THESE ARE FLATBOATMEN AND NO ONE TO FOOL WITH.

YOU GET INSIDE.

HOLD IT. HOLD IT. (music stops)

MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE, MA'AM?

WHY, HOW EXCITING.

IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE I'VE BEEN TO A BALL.

I FORGOT MY FAN.

WELL.

(slow music plays)

♪ ♪

(faster music plays)

♪ ♪

THAD, DAVIE.

WHEN I GIVE THE WORD, RELEASE THE LINES.

RIGHT.

(whistles)

THAD, TAKE THE BOW.

AAH!

OH, YOU WANT TO WALTZ, DO YOU?

ONE AND... (screams)

NOW, BOYS.

JUMP!


MISS LAURIETTE...

PUREE'S BURNING.

(laughter)

DAVIE?

HEY, DAVIE.

YEAH?

YOU WANT TO TRY FOR SOME CATFISH?

NO.

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH MISS PAXTON, DAVIE?

HECK, NO, THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD.

I THINK SHE MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH YOU.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?

REMEMBER THE WAY SHE HUGGED YOU AT FRIARS POINT?

SHE HUGGED YOU A LONG TIME.

I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS.

THAT'S WHY I LET HER HANG ON TO ME LIKE THAT.

I KNOW A WAY HOW YOU COULD FIND OUT IF SHE REALLY LOVES YOU.

HOW?

IF YOU PUT A GIRL'S HAND IN WATER WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING, SHE'LL TELL YOU THE NAME OF HER SWEETHEART.

THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD.

SHE'S NAPPING NOW.

WE COULD FIND OUT EASY.

LET'S GET A PAN.

BY THE SHORE, CAPTAIN.

IT'S THEM. YOU SEE THE KID?

NOBODY'S ON DECK.

LOOKS LIKE QUACK MEDICINE MAN'S BOAT.

HOLD YOUR SPEED. YES, SIR.

THEY WON'T GET AWAY THIS TIME.

HOLD YOUR SPEED.

LISTEN CLOSE. SHE'S GONNA SAY IT REAL SOFTLY.

SINKING! WE'RE SINKING, WE'RE SINKING!

WE'RE SINKING!

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING IN THERE?

I'M SOAKING. THAD! DAVIE!

OH, WHAT... DAVIE!

I'M GONNA TAR AND FEATHER THE BOTH OF YOU KIDS.

YOU ARE THE MOST POWERFUL, AGGRAVATING KIDS I EVER--

COME HERE. COME HERE.

SOMETHING STIRRED 'EM UP.

NOW, JUST YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING IN THERE WITH THAT WATER.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

NOTHING. NOTHING?

LOOK AT ME!

(laughs)

WHY, THEY TRIED TO DROWN ME IN MY SLEEP.

NO, WE DIDN'T.

WE JUST SPILLED A LITTLE WATER, THAT'S ALL.

WHY'S THAT STEAMBOAT COMING STRAIGHT TOWARDS US?

DAVIE, GET ME MY SPYGLASS, WILL YOU?

IN THERE.

THANK YOU.

IT WOULDN'T BE SPANGLER BY ANY CHANCE, WOULD IT?

IT'S HIM!

THEY'LL BE ON US IN A MINUTE. COME ON.

OPEN FIRE!

(gunshots)

OH!


SPREAD OUT. SEARCH EVERYWHERE.


CAN YOU RUN A STEAMBOAT?

CAN I RUN A STEAMBOAT?

WHAT'S HE DOING?

THIS WAY, BOYS. RUN!

OVER THERE!

NO.

TO THE BOAT. COME ON.

COME ON!

DON'T KEEP LOOKING BACK, LAD.

THEY'LL BE ON US SOON ENOUGH.

COME ON, COME ON.

COME ON.

GO ON, HELP THE LADY. HURRY NOW, BOYS.

WE'RE TAKING THE OTHER BOAT. IT'S FASTER.

COME ON.

I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE.

NO, NO, THAD, LEAVE IT TO ME.

GO ON. QUICKLY.

(gunshots)

COME ON, DR. SNODGRASS!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?

SORRY.

HURRY, DOCTOR, HURRY.

ALL RIGHT, SHOVE OFF. COME ON.

OFF WE GO.

UH, I'LL HELP YOU WITH THAT.

YOU SURE YOU KNOW HOW TO RUN THIS THING?

HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA. I'VE NEVER TRIED.

RIGHT, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. TAKE IT AWAY.

WHAT ABOUT JIM? WE HAVE NO CHOICE.

NO!

YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM THERE.

IT WAS HIS DECISION, DAVIE.

NOW, LET'S GET THIS VESSEL UNDER WAY.

WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE, DOCTOR?

MAYBE IT'S THIS ONE.

NO, NO, NO.

(ship clunking)

NOW, IT STANDS TO REASON IF THIS THING GOES BACKWARDS, IT'LL ALSO GO-- DON'T CROWD ME!

I'LL APOLOGIZE LATER ON.

I CAN'T BE BOTHERED. I'VE GOT TO GET THIS THING...

(ship sputtering)

OH, CONFOUNDED STEAM.

AH, IT ISN'T THAT.

COULD IT BE THIS?

(gunshot)

(steam whistle blows) HOLD IT.

COME ON.

PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.

(Lauriette mutters)

AH.

AH, WE'RE GOING FORWARD.

(gunshots) LOOK OUT.

TAKE COVER.

SPANGLER AND HIS MERRY MEN.

(gunshots continue)

TO THE KEELBOAT.


JIM.

(shouts)

(upbeat New Orleans-style jazz plays)

♪ ♪

AH, YEAH.

COME UP AND LAY 'EM DOWN. COME ON, BABY.

YEAH!

♪ ♪

(indistinct chatter)

THERE'S NO TRACE OF HIM ANYWHERE.

IT'S, UH, DIFFICULT, I KNOW, BUT I THINK WE MUST CONCLUDE THAT, UH...

JIM BURNIE IS DEAD.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE ALL OWE HIM A GREAT DEBT OF GRATITUDE.

OH, I'M ARRANGING FOR A PASSAGE FOR THE BOYS ON THE FIRST PASSENGER SHIP GOING NORTH.

I THINK ONCE YOU GET HOME, YOU MUST PUT YOURSELVES IN THE HANDS OF THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES UNTIL SUCH A TIME AS, UH--

AS SPANGLER AND HIS VILLAINOUS COHORTS ARE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE.

HE'S RIGHT.

DAVIE, I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOMETHING.

IT BELONGS TO YOU, AND I'D WISH TO SEE YOU HAVE IT.

BUT YOU REALLY MUST GO HOME.

TWO LIVES HAVE BEEN SACRIFICED ALREADY.

AND THE MENACE OF SPANGLER IS EVER PRESENT.

LET IT GO, BOY.

I'M NOT GOING BACK.

YOU STILL WANT TO GO, THAD? IF YOU DO.

WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU, DR. SNODGRASS.

SORRY ABOUT YOUR BOAT.

BYE, MISS LAURIETTE.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT. SIT DOWN.

I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET YOU TWO GOSLINGS GO TRAIPSING OFF BY YOURSELVES.

IF YOU'RE DEAD SET ON GETTING THAT TREASURE...

I'M GOING WITH YOU.

WELL...

NEVER LET IT BE SAID THAT DR. EWING T. SNODGRASS DESERTED HIS FRIENDS IN THEIR HOUR OF NEED.

(chuckles)

WE'LL FIND IT, DR. SNODGRASS. (mutters)

WELL, IF WE DON'T, IT WON'T BE FOR LACK OF TRYING.

NOW LET ME SEE.

SPANGLER WILL BE WATCHING THE DOCKS, WHICH MEANS THAT WE SHOULD PROCEED INLAND WITH, UH, GUILE...

AND DISPATCH.

(sighs)

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED THAT YANKEE.

BOO.

OVER HERE.

WELL?

I THINK I SEEN 'EM AT THE STATION HOUSE.

THEY LEFT ON A TRAIN.

WHAT'D THEY LOOK LIKE?

LIKE YOU SAY.

OLD MAN, PRETTY LADY, TWO YOUNG UNS.

ONE'S A WHITE BOY, THE OTHER'S A BLACK.

THAT'S THEM, CAPTAIN. HOW LONG AGO?

I JUST COME FROM THERE.

THAT MEANS THEY'RE TAKING THE YULEE RAILROAD TO TAMPA.

THEY THINK BY GOING OVERLAND, THEY'RE GONNA LOSE ME.

WELL, THEY WILL TOO IF WE DON'T GET AFTER 'EM.

RELAX, CATRELL.

THEY DON'T KNOW IT YET, BUT THEY JUST BOUGHT THEMSELVES A ONE-WAY TICKET.

THAT'S IT. TUCK IT IN THERE, RIGHT, SNUGLIKE.

HERE COMES DR. SNODGRASS.

WE'RE READY TO LEAVE, DOCTOR. WE'RE READY.

I HAD A LENGTHY CHAT WITH A REVEREND MACELROY.

AND HE TOLD ME THAT NO PERSONS ANSWERING THE DESCRIPTION OF SPANGLER AND HIS CREW HAD BEEN SEEN IN TAMPA, SO OUR STRATEGY SEEMS TO BE WORKING.

SHALL WE LEAVE, DOCTOR?

YOU WISH TO SETTLE OUR ACCOUNT FOR OUR SUPPLIES NOW?

OH, WHEN WE GET TO OUR DESTINATION.

DESTINA-- OH, YES, OF COURSE.

I CAN MANAGE.

GIVE ME YOUR HAND. YES, MA'AM. YES, MA'AM.

BUT I MUST ADMIT, IT'LL BE THE FIRST TRIP I'VE MADE THROUGH THE SWAMP WITHOUT HAVING AN IDEA OF WHERE I WAS HEADED.

WE'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU'RE HEADED ONCE WE'RE THROUGH THE EVERGLADES.

YES, MA'AM. ALL RIGHT.

SHOULD WE LEAVE? ARE WE READY?

ONE, TWO, AND IN.

(animals chattering)

OH, THERE'S YOUR SNOWY EGRET, THAD, ONE OF NATURE'S MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURES.

AH, 'TIS THAT.

AND THEM FEATHERS WOULD MAKE YOU A LOVELY HAT, MISSUS.

THEY LOOK JUST FINE WHERE THEY ARE, THANK YOU.

HE WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE.

I DON'T LIKE THAT MAN.

JUST DON'T TRUST HIM.

LIFT YOUR PADDLES JUST HIGH ENOUGH SO AS TO CLEAR WATER.

IT'LL SAVE YOUR STRENGTH THAT WAY.

A LITTLE WATER WOULDN'T HURT, YOU KNOW.

(laughs)

A LITTLE WATER WOULDN'T HURT YOU NONE NEITHER, MR. SKAGGS.

OH.

OH, IT'S SEMINOLE.

THEY'RE FRIENDLY ENOUGH, SO LONG AS YOU DON'T CROSS 'EM.


EASE OFF YOUR PADDLES A BIT.

DO YOU MIND--

DO YOU MIND IF WE STOP FOR A MOMENT?

I'M NOT AS YOUNG OR AS BUOYANT AS THE REST OF YOU.

(chuckles)

HEY, TAKE YOUR HANDS OUT OF THE WATER.

THIS IS GATOR COUNTRY.

I DON'T SEE NO GATORS.

HA. YOU DON'T. WELL, THEY'RE HERE.

AND I'LL SHOW YOU.

(shouts)

THERE. SEE 'EM.

YEAH.

OOH, SIT DOWN, LAD.

SIT DOWN. YOU GET US IN THAT WATER, WE'LL BE LUNCH FOR THE GATORS.

NOW, IF YOU SHOULD HAVE A TUSSLE WITH ONE, GET UNDERNEATH HIM BECAUSE A GATOR CAN'T MOVE HIS LOWER JAW.

IT'S A PITY SOME HUMANS ARE NOT SIMILARLY HANDICAPPED.

(laughs weakly)

(alligators growling)

I THINK WE'D BETTER LEAVE, DOCTOR.

YEAH. PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT.

WHAT NOISE DO YOU MAKE TO FRIGHTEN THESE THINGS?

(screams)

(growls)

OH, PERHAPS NOT.

THERE'S NOT A BREATH OF AIR IN THIS PLACE.

ALL RIGHT, LADS, BEAR TO THE LEFT NOW, TO THE LEFT.

LEFT? I THOUGHT SOUTH WOULD BE IN THAT DIRECTION.

OH, AYE, YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT, DOCTOR.

VERY GOOD SENSE OF DIRECTION YOU'VE GOT THERE.

WELL, YOU SEE, THAT THERE CHANNEL PLUGS UP ABOUT A MILE FURTHER ON, SO, UH, WE TURN LEFT.

UH. AH.

COME ON. PULL.

LET'S GET IN HERE.

LET'S STOP THERE. WHAT FOR?

WELL, IT'S THE LAST GOOD WATERING SPOT FOR 50 MILES, MA'AM.

I THINK WE'D BETTER GET OUR WATER HERE, RIGHT?

I'LL HELP YOU, MR. SKAGGS.

THANK YOU, DAVIE.

I TOLD YOU I KNOW A NIGHT CRAWLER WHEN I SEE ONE.

OUT OF THE BOAT, ALL OF YOU.

NOW, MISS HIGH AND MIGHTY, I'M GIVING THE ORDERS AROUND HERE.

GET OUT OF THERE. YOU DEFILE THAT BOAT.

JUMP, WOMAN. JUMP.

(laughing)

I SAID, "JUMP."

NOW, MASTER DAVIE, COME HERE.

YOU LED US A MERRY CHASE, BUT NOW IT'S OVER, YOU UNDERSTAND?

I BELIEVE YOU HAVE A MAP.

I LOST IT.

BUT I KNOW WHERE THE TREASURE IS.

TIMBUKTU, EXTREME SOUTHERN--

HE'S ONLY A LAD!

OH.

I INTEND TO GET THAT MAP.

HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH. HE--HE LOST IT IN THE RIVER.

THEN WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE?

HE KNOWS WHERE THE GOLD IS.

NOW OUT WITH IT, OR I'LL BE FORCED TO DO SOMETHING VERY UNPLEASANT FOR THE BOTH OF US, ESPECIALLY YOU.

HE MEANS IT, DAVIE.

YOU TELL HIM WHAT YOU REMEMBER.

WHERE IS IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

NO.

I HAVE A MAP OF SORTS.

I THOUGHT IT WISER TO COMMIT THE MAP TO SOMETHING LESS FALLIBLE THAN MEMORY.

THANK THE LORD FOR THAT.

WHITEWATER COVE.

HUH.

MATECUMBE KEY.

HERE. THESE TREES.

WE FIND THEM, WE FIND THE GOLD.

ALL RIGHT, MAN THE BOATS, OURS AND THEIRS.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA LEAVE US HERE?

MY APOLOGIES, MADAME.

BUT IF WE LEAVE YOUR BOAT, YOU MIGHT JUST FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE.

YOU WON'T STARVE TO DEATH, LADY.

MOSQUITOES WILL GET YOU LONG BEFORE THAT.

EXCUSE ME, DOCTOR, BUT YOU WON'T BE NEEDING THIS, NOW, WILL YOU?

THANK YOU.

MA'AM.


(mosquitoes buzzing)

(all coughing)

GET OFF!

(shouts)

CAREFUL. DON'T SMOTHER IT.

DON'T SMOTHER IT.

(whimpers)

(screams)

WHAT ARE YOU--NO!

NO, YOU'LL CHOKE OUT HERE.

YOU'LL CHOKE OUT HERE.

THEY'LL GET INTO YOUR-- (spits)

THEY'LL GET IN YOUR NOSE AND MOUTH.

YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE. TAKE THAT.

COME ON. IT'S BETTER-- BETTER NEAR THE SMOKE.

COME ON.

(thunder rumbles)

(buzzing stops, rain falling)

WILL THIS KILL 'EM? SOME OF THEM PERHAPS.

BUT WHEN THE RAIN IS OVER, THEY'LL BE BACK.

AND THEN WHATEVER LITTLE HELP THE SMOKE WAS, THERE'LL BE NOTHING TO BURN.

(distant singing) WHAT'S THAT?

RAIN!

DON'T YOU HEAR NOTHING?

I HEAR IT.

LIKE SINGING.

IF WE DON'T MAKE SOME NOISE, CHARLIE, HOW WILL ANYONE KNOW WE'RE AROUND?

SO SING ALONG.

(Davie screaming) all: HELP! OVER HERE!

HELP!

OVER HERE!

HELP! SHH.

(stops singing) HELP! HELP!

CAN'T YOU HEAR? HELP US, SIR! all: HELP!

HEY! JIM! all: JIM! UNCLE JIM!

UNCLE JIM! YOU'RE HERE. YOU'RE HERE.

OF COURSE. WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER, AREN'T WE?

(chuckles)

YOU ALL SEEM A LITTLE WORSE FOR WEAR.

WHERE'S COOTER SKAGGS?

WE WERE ABANDONED BY OUR GUIDE.

HE WAS IN LEAGUE WITH SPANGLER.

SPANGLER?

YEAH. HE'S HERE?

HE WENT TO GO GET THE TREASURE.

THEY KNOW WHERE IT IS.

HOW MUCH AHEAD ARE THEY?

THEY LEFT SOMETIME THIS AFTERNOON.

MAYBE WE CAN BEAT 'EM.

AH!

WE'VE BEEN DESERTED AND ALMOST ATE ALIVE BY MOSQUITOES, AND ALL YOU CAN MERCENARILY CARE ABOUT IS THAT UNHOLY GOLD.

YOU'RE PRETTY, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE WET AND ANGRY.

YOU HAD US THINKING YOU WERE DEAD.

YOU PROBABLY WERE DEAD DRUNK IN SOME SALOON.

AND IF YOU WERE ALIVE, THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE US GO OFF WITH THAT HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE MAN?

AND YOU SMELL TO HIGH HEAVEN.

(chuckles) MOSQUITOES DON'T LIKE IT MUCH EITHER.

IT'S AN OINTMENT. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

MOSQUITOES, THEY DON'T LIKE IT MUCH EITHER.

NO, BEFORE THAT.

I SAID YOU'RE PRETTY.

I BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU THAT EVER SINCE I FIRST SAW YOU.

BUT I HAD A ROPE AROUND MY NECK AND, UH...

(chuckles)

ARE WE READY NOW?

SO WHEN I GOT TO TAMPA, I JUST BEAT THE BUSHES UNTIL I FOUND MY OLD FRIEND CHARLIE.

THEN CHARLIE AND I PICKED UP THE SAME TRAIL SPANGLER LEFT FOR COOTER SKAGGS. WE WERE--

WHAT ON EARTH?

COUGAR. COUGAR?

IT'S AN INDIAN TRIBE, PART OF THE SEMINOLES.

THEY FRIENDLY WITH YOUR PEOPLE?

COUGAR NOBODY'S FRIENDS.

BAD. BAD?

DO YOU THINK THEY'VE SEEN US?

THEY SEE LONG TIME NOW.

WHY CAN'T WE SEE THEM?

'CAUSE THEY DON'T WANT US TO.


WHAT DO YOU THINK, CHARLIE?

HURRICANE. HURRICANE?

(birds calling)

STAY HERE. BETTER.

WHY STAY HERE?

A BEACH ON THE OPEN SEA IS NO PLACE TO GET CAUGHT IN A HURRICANE.

BUT SPANGLER WON'T STOP.

IF WE ALL END UP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, DAVIE, WE WON'T HAVE GAINED MUCH, WILL WE?

IT'S SO STILL.

CHARLIE NOT WRONG.

BIRDS NOT WRONG.

WE'RE ALMOST THERE, AREN'T WE?

WITH LUCK, WE CAN BEAT IT.

LET'S MAKE A RUN FOR IT.

(wind howling)

(thunder crashes)


THERE'S THE TREES.

COME ON.

STAY TOGETHER.

JIM!

KEEP GOING.

(creaking)

(crash)

CHARLIE! CHARLIE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

HELP HIM.

CAN YOU GET UP?

CHARLIE! CHARLIE ALL RIGHT.

GIVE ME YOUR HAND.

COME ON.

START DIGGING!

OVER THERE. SPREAD OUT.


LOOK OUT!

THAD!

DAVIE, I THOUGHT YOU WAS A GONER FOR SURE.

LOOK!

COME ON. LET GO.

NO, GO GET UNCLE JIM.

UNCLE JIM!

UNCLE JIM!

OVER BY DAVIE. HE FOUND SOMETHING.

COME ON.


HERE IT IS. LOOK AT IT, THAD!

YEAH-HA-HA! (excited shouting)

HEY, DAVIE! YES!

HEY!


DOCTOR!

SNODGRASS! LAURIETTE!

DOCTOR!

NO!

BEHIND YOU!

DOCTOR!

OH, NO!

DOCTOR SNODGRASS!

NO!

DOCTOR! NO, DOCTOR!

STAY HERE.

OH!

HOLD THE BOYS.

NO! NO. IT'S NO USE.

COME ON.

INTO THE WOODS.

CHARLIE, TAKE A WALK!

HURRY. KEEP MOVING.


(screams)

DAVIE!

DAVIE!

(screams)

(screams)

UNCLE JIM!

UNCLE JIM!

DAVIE!

I'M DOWN HERE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

STAY THERE.

CHIEF'S TOMB.

YOU'LL BE SAFER DOWN THERE THAN UP HERE.

COME ON.

(rattling)

WHAT'S HE DOING?

CALMING THE SPIRITS.

MATECUMBE COUGAR SACRED BURIAL GROUND.

WE'LL HAVE A LOT MORE THAN SPIRITS TO WORRY ABOUT IF THE COUGAR FIND US HERE.

WILL THEY KILL US?

NO KILL.

COUGAR MAKE WEAR COCATOW ALL TIME.

"COUGHCATOW"?

MAKE SQUAWS OUT OF US.

SLAVES FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.


NOT A SIGN OF HIM.

I SEARCHED THE BEACH A MILE EACH WAY.

GOLD...

SOME JEWELRY, MOSTLY COINS.

(clinking)

JIM.

COUGAR COMING. LET'S GO.

(grunting)

(gunshots)

IT'S SPANGLER!

HOLD YOUR FIRE!

WE WANT THE GOLD, BURNIE!

LEAVE IT, AND GET OUT OF THERE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM!

SHH.

COUGAR HEAR GUN, FIND US.

THAT MAY NOT BE ALL BAD.

WE WON'T WAIT ANY LONGER.

I WANT THE GOLD.

I WANT THE GOLD NOW!

YOU AND THE BOYS GET OUT OF HERE. HIDE.

JUST GIVE IT TO HIM.

DO AS I SAY.

IT'S YOURS.

BUT I'M TAKING YOU AT YOUR WORD.

WE WANT SAFE PASSAGE OUT OF HERE.

YOU HAVE MY WORD... AS A GENTLEMAN.

(laughs)

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GRAB IT AND RUN.

(gunshot)

(gunshots)

(animals chattering)


(chattering stops)

(chuckles)

(laughs)

GOT TOO HEAVY FOR 'EM.

(creaking)

OH.

(gasping) AH.


TAKE IT.

TAKE THE TREASURE TO THE BOATS.

TAKE THE TREASURE TO THE BOATS.

(gunshot)

(gunshots)

WHERE ARE THEY?

(gun cocks)

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!

(hyperventilates)

WAIT!

COME ON!

COME ON BACK HERE AND FIGHT.

(gunshots)

COME ON, YOU YELLOW, SCURVY INBREDS!

(gunshot)


CHIEF, I DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THESE OTHER FELLAS, BUT I AM PART MOHAWK ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE.

GOOD. MOHAWK MAKE GOOD SQUAW.

SQUAW?

GO.


COME, SQUAW.

SQUAW.

NEARLY JOURNEY'S END, DAVIE.

YOU'VE GOT THE BURNIE TREASURE.

ALL I WANT IS ENOUGH TO FIX UP GRASSY.

WE'LL SPLIT UP THE REST.

THAT ALL RIGHT WITH YOU, THAD?

YEAH.

SNODGRASS! children: DR. SNODGRASS!

DR. SNODGRASS! all: DR. SNODGRASS!

DOCTOR! DR. SNODGRASS!

(excited shouting)

(chuckles)

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, DR. SNODGRASS?

A SLIGHT SEPARATION OF THE FEMUR AND THE TIBIA.

A MINOR VISITATION FOR A MAN OF MY CONSTITUTION.

(laughs)

I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D SEE YOU AGAIN, DOCTOR.

THE SEA COULDN'T HOLD ME, SIR.

I WAS BEACHED BY AN IMMENSE, YET UNDERSTANDING WAVE.

(chuckles)

I KNOW WHAT THE ENGLISH SAY ABOUT BAD PENNIES, DOC, BUT I'M AWFULLY GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE ALIVE.

OH, MY DEAR.

OH, THAD.

THAD, THAD. THANK YOU.

DR. SNODGRASS, I TOLD GOD IF HE SAVED YOU, I'D DO EXACTLY LIKE YOU SAY.

LEARN EVERYTHING I CAN SO AS YOU CAN BE PROUD OF ME.

WELL, HE OBVIOUSLY KEPT HIS PART OF THE BARGAIN.

SO FROM NOW ON, THAD, YOUR COURSE IS CLEARLY CHARTED.

COME ALONG, THEN.

YOU SEEM TO HAVE HAD AN EASY TIME OF IT, YOU OTHERS.

(laughter) OH. EASY TIME?

I HAD THE MOST HARROWING EXPERIENCE.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT...

AT THE RISK OF BORING MYSELF.

DR. SNODGRASS?

YOU REALLY ENGLISH?

ONLY AT TIMES, THAD.

ONLY AT... AT TIMES.

DR. SNODGRASS, WHY DON'T YOU COME AND STAY WITH US AT GRASSY?

GRASSY? OH, I SHOULD BE HONORED, DAVIE.

BUT I CANNOT IN GOOD CONSCIENCE FORGO MY DUTY TOWARDS THOSE POOR UNFORTUNATES ALONG THE RIVER WHO AWAIT MY CALL WITH SUCH IMPATIENCE EVERY YEAR.

BUT IT'S GOOD TO KNOW THAT YOU AND GRASSY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO OFFER SANCTUARY.

KNOW THAT THE FRIENDSHIPS THAT WERE FORGED IN THE CRUCIBLE OF OUR ADVERSITY SHALL NOT TARNISH, NOR THEIR TEMPER E'ER LOSE.

WHAT'D HE SAY?