True Confessions (1981) Script

...after two days in the California desert in temperatures above 110 degrees.

President Kennedy is flying back to Washington tonight for a major speech on international economic policy before officers and directors of the World Bank tomorrow morning.

Bill Lawrence, ABC. Palm Springs, California.

How are you? May I help you?

I'm Father Duarte, the assistant pastor.

I'm looking for Monsignor Spellacy. And who might you be?

I might be his brother.

Mr. Spellacy, Eduardo Duarte.

I'm helping the Monsignor out until he's 100 percent.

He's not 100 percent?

Just a matter of time, Mr. Spellacy. Just a matter of time.

As soon as I fix the carburetor on the car, I'm gonna repaint the thermometer.

We're getting the building fund drive on the way again.

The new St. Mary's is going to be the flower of the desert.

Hello, Tommy.

I'm sorry, Monsignor, for monopolizing your brother.

It's just that when I talk about the new St. Mary's, I get carried away.

That's all right, Father Duarte.

How are you, Tommy? Good to see you.

Father Duarte said you weren't feeling 100 percent.

Oh, well, who is, Tommy? Who is?

Who is?

This morning after mass, Mr. McHugh comes to see me.

Nice man, Mr. McHugh.

But one thing about being a pastor is that no one ever stops by and rings your doorbell to tell you everything is just swell.

So when Mr. McHugh stops by, no, it's not because he wants to help Father Eduardo paint the thermometer outside.

No, no.

Mr. McHugh tells me that his daughter, a Carmelite nun, is leaving the convent to become a professional bowler.

What? I'm not kidding. A professional bowler.

I didn't even know they had alleys in the convents these days.

So I said to him I'd say a mass for her.

Maybe that'll help her bowl a perfect string.

How are you, Des?

Oh, it's a well-known fact the Irish have more hemorrhoids than other people. Otherwise...

Look, look, Des, I asked you a simple question.

Now, give me a straight answer.

How are you?

I'm gonna die, Tommy.

You're not kidding.

The arteries to the pump are shot.

Handkerchief, Jack.

Cough drop.

You need a new radiator.

I need a new car.

Got my eye on one, believe me.

Olds 98.

If I hold up a gas station, maybe I can get a down payment.

Hello, fatty.

It's been a while since I've been in a $5 cathouse.

I busted this joint once when I was in vice.

They had a girl. I swear she had two left tits.

Let's go. LAPD.

Down at the right. On the end.


What do you want for five bucks?


Been a long time.


This joint's quite a comedown from your place in Hollywood, Brenda.

I used to watch my girls do you, fatso, through the peek.

You never took off your pants.

If I did, they'd be standing in line. Why'd you call?

Down here.

Hi, Tom. You wanna play carnival?

I don't know that one.

I sit on your face, and you try to guess my weight.

Heart attack. When he was committing a mortal sin.

Still warm. Yeah.

A priest.

A pastor, no less.

St. Bernadette's in Redondo Beach.

I know him.

Father Mickey. Mickey Gagnon. St. Bernadette's.

He used to run a swell game of bingo.

What's he doing in a joint like this?

Getting his ashes hauled is a good bet.

A wiz at bingo. A real pain in the ass at confession.

All right, give. I didn't take nothing.

Just give it to me. Now!

If you told him you picked your nose, he'd give you a rosary for penance.

A swell pair of shoes.

All right, here you go. Come on.

How long was he here? It was the second one that did it.

What do you think?

It's gonna make a big hit with your brother, the Monsignor.

She looks like a jelly doughnut, doesn't she?

That's hardly a judicious thing for a lawyer to say about a young bride on her wedding day.

Imagine her wearing white with something already in the toaster.

Jack, I want to tell you something.

That's a little girl who'd bring a tear to her father's eye.

He was just talking about the color of her wedding dress.

Off-white, I think you called it, right, Dan?

Now, remember, Jack, you're not losing a daughter.

You're gaining a bathroom.

How'd the Cardinal like the wedding, Monsignor?

He's sorry he had to leave so soon, but then he's getting on in age.

He looks 100, if you ask me.

And when he goes, we know who we'd like to replace him, right, Jack?

How about some dessert? Oh, yeah, sure.

How'd you like all the flowers in the church, Monsignor?

Very nice.

Set me back four grand. Imagine that.

That's a lot of goddamn roses. Yes, it is.

Every one of them will be in a Catholic hospital tonight.

If you've got any left over, you might think of the orphanages.

Yeah. How's the champagne, Monsignor?


French vintage. None of that California shit.

Excuse my English.

Hey, I'll send you a case.

His Eminence too.

Hey, the Cardinal ever go to the track?

Maybe he'll be my guest one day. I'll give him a couple of tips.

If Jack gives you a tip, you could bet the Sistine Chapel on it, Des.

That's how I met the Monsignor, Counselor.

At Santa Anita. Oh, yeah?

I gave him a tip.

Orchestra leader. Fourteen to one, huh?

That's right.

Well, you've got a way with long shots, Jack.

Hey, it won by six lengths.

Did he? Yeah.

Hey, you want some more champagne?

Hey, you!

You two talk while I make sure everyone's having a good time.

Okay. Thanks.

I'm fine, thank you.

Fourteen to one, huh? Must have been a boat race.

Of course it was. That's why you could bet the Sistine Chapel on it.

You look like shit.

How's your wife?

She left with her tuna fish casserole recipe. Her one dish.

And your brother, the Monsignor? Okay.

I used to listen to him on the radio when I was in the joint.

"The religious hour."

I'll bet he said a novena for you every time that you and I screwed.

What's on your mind, Brenda?

You ever notice how you get old, your feet swell up?

I started noticing things like that when I was in the joint.

Your feet swell up, your toenails get little ridges on them.

Well, maybe you ought to write a book about it, all right?

You ever tell your brother in confession that Jack was paying you off?

Or maybe he doesn't know what a bagman is, your brother.

They don't teach them things like that at the seminary.

What are you trying to say?

You ever wonder why Jack fixed it so that you didn't get indicted and I did?

Jack wouldn't know me if he walked into me.

Forget you.

It was all that business he was doing with your brother.

All those Catholic schools he was building.

It wouldn't have looked good, you going on trial.

So he put in the fix downtown.

Somebody had to take the fall. Me.

Anything else?

Yeah. Just get that stiff out of here.

Once a bagman, always a bagman!

I'm sorry about that.


You know my temper.

I need you like I need another fuck.

You know, Jack's got this grand new development, Des.

Rancho Rosa, I think it's called.

Anyway, he wants to give a little piece to His Eminence for a school.

Isn't that a grand thing to do?

Rancho Rosa?

I hear he's having trouble getting rid of his lots.

He needs a school and the city won't put one in, is that true?

My God, you're suspicious. Peg?


Mrs. Campion, how are you? Oh, it was a beautiful mass.

Thank you.

I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done.

It's a beautiful wedding, and I wanted to tell you how much I appreciated all your patience and time.

It was an honor and I...

I know that you'll be very happy, Georgette.

I'm sure of that.

Monsignor, you know why I got married. Yes, I do.

But I wouldn't worry about it. I think it'll be fine.

I think you've done the right thing, and you have my blessing.

Thank you, Monsignor.

Yeah, so, he's gotten awful grand since he became a supervisor.

I remember when you could rent him by the day.

And now, after being turned down everywhere else, Jack makes this most generous offer to us.

What would you call that, Des?

I'd call that a pair of grape scissors. Oh.

Have some champagne.

Try that chocolate stuff too. It's good.

Stay away from the peanuts. Bad for the bowels.

I think I'll just have this.

I hear Jack's overextended. The banks want to call in his paper.

Oh, you're a cool one, Des, you really are.

All right.

Maybe I can persuade Jack to let his construction company build a school at cost.

How's that?

Very nice. Okay.

You know what would even be nicer?

If you threw in your fee from Jack.

Looks like a leprechaun, thinks like an Arab.

Hey, look out.

Hey, Des, how you doing?

Hi, Tommy. How are you? Good.

Nice to see you. Yeah.

Sit down.

Nice picture of Ma. Yes, isn't it?

Why don't you come and visit her the next time I go?

I think she'd like to see you.

Last time I saw her, she talked to me about purgatory and how much time I was gonna spend there.

Life plus 99 years.

She still eating cereal with her fingers?

Well, you know, she still thinks that the early martyrs didn't have spoons in the catacombs.

Well, tell her that they didn't have instant Cream of Wheat either.

You look good.

I can't complain. I got my health, my wealth.

What about yourself?

I can't complain.

His Eminence gives me a lot of work, but otherwise I'm okay.

I can see that.

That's a sweetheart.

I hear you fixed him up with an audience with the Pope.

I made some arrangements, yeah.

I bet you did.

Did he ever tell you about Dominic Lopresti, that little ginzo with ambitions?

He tried to move in on Jack's construction business.

So he takes him and sticks him in a laundry dryer over at Lincoln Heights.

Shrinks the poor bastard down to 21 pounds.

Is that a fact?

Des, I don't know the Holy Ghost for a fact, but you're in the Holy Ghost business, so you tell me about the Holy Ghost, I believe you.

Which means that I should believe you.

No, meaning you wanna fall into shit and think it's clover, then don't believe me.

Tom, I have to... Okay.

You know a Father Gagnon? Yes, I do.

He's the pastor at St. Bernadette's.

A wiz at bingo, they tell me.

Well, could have been a house call.

Well, when was the last time you hung your pants over the back of a chair making a house call?

I gotta admit, that's not the way they teach it at the seminary.

He's out of there. That's all that counts.

Nobody's embarrassed.

Well, I'll have to tell the Cardinal.

Give him a great sendoff. Candles, incense, the works.


All right, I owe you one. Lunch?

As long as your boss picks up the tab.

Thanks, Tom.

See you later. Okay.

She had a nice pair of charlies.

You don't often see a set of charlies that nice.

A lot of good they're gonna do her now.


How long she been dead?

10, 12 hours, maybe. I don't know.

I think the butler did it.

Don't you ever get tired of saying that?

Let's see the other half. Yeah.

Did you hear the fights last night? No.

Mercury Johnson, Vinnie Avila. I was there.

Like punching fog trying to hit him, Mercury.

Vinnie should have had a tire iron.

He was supposed to go in the water, Vinnie.

He did. I got wet, ninth row ringside, the splash was so big.

Make sure you get a lot of tight shots on that tattoo, okay?

It's a nice touch, huh? Rose tattoo.

Here's another nice touch.

They found a candle stuck up her joy trail.

You ought to check it out with your brother, the Monsignor, what it means in canon law.

A church candle stuck in a joint like that.

He'll tell me too. He's got an answer for everything, Des.

I got it Tommy, all right? Right.

Yeah, okay, get the tattoo, huh?

Did you get the tattoo?

I'm gonna take another one. Terrific.

You got something I can use for the first edition, Tom?

Looks like a werewolf got to her.

Or a vampire, huh?

Well, that's an angle, Howard.

I heard you mention your brother, the Monsignor, Tom.

I hear he's very tight with the Cardinal.

You might mention to him that it would be a wonderful story if His Eminence was to say the funeral mass, Tom.

I can get him an exclusive.

Front page on what it all means, the death of this cunt.

Howard, we don't even have an ID on her yet, so we don't know if she's a Catholic cunt or not.

We can work that out later, Tommy.

Well, if you want the Cardinal, it's a factor, Howard, a definite factor.

Where's the blood? I don't see any.

Somebody cut somebody in half, there ought to be a little blood.

Forget the stretcher!

For openers, she was probably cut somewhere else.

Probably she was sliced in a bathtub.

Yeah, in a house, not an apartment.

One stretcher.

Why do you have to give me a hard time?

I don't care what you wanna do. Hey, hey.

What's going on?

This asshole from the coroner's wants her on two stretchers.

Because she's in two fucking pieces is why.

And I'm telling you it's one fucking body!

I suppose she was in 14 pieces, you'd want me to get 14 stretchers.

That's exactly what I'm telling you, asshole.

Hey, hey. Who you calling...

Hold on.

Do as he says. Two stretchers, okay?

I hope this broad leaks all over the goddamn grass!

And get me a list of sex crimes with the same MO.

That'll take a while, Sergeant.

What do you mean, it'll take a while? She was cut in two.

Do you think it's an epidemic like the flu?

I feel such a damn fool.

Steve, I think we better go.


Your Eminence.


I never could stand that man.

Tell me, Desmond, this proposal from Mr. Amsterdam to give us land for a school, what does he want to get out of it?

I suspect solvency.

How many contracts have we let to the Amsterdam Construction Company?

Over the last few years, it's been about $17 million.

It would have cost around 22.

For someone not so anxious to buy a good name, it's wonderful, isn't it?

It makes it easy to believe in the infinite power of repentance.

I keep hearing stories.

About shortages?

And other things.


I think, once the Rancho Rosa situation has been resolved, that we should really seriously re-evaluate Mr. Amsterdam's contribution to the archdiocese.

Perhaps we should think about phasing him out.

I see. I see.

I see.

Nothing like a stiff for making me crave Chinese food.

You think there's something funny about that?

There's nothing funny about that, Frank. Hell, no.

Hey, who is your friend? What?

I busted this joint 14 times when I was in vice.

Now I eat in here all the time. I can see why.

He's helping me build my motel in Culver City.

I retire in two years.

You know what you get from the police department after 20 years.

If you're smart, you get Chink partners.

Exactly. Exactly.

You should be thinking ahead too.

I'm not smart anymore.

What about this girl?

What girl?

The one in two pieces, Frank.

Tire marks. That's our best bet.

Which doesn't give us much.

More partners?

You know...

You know what we're gonna pull in on this one?

Panty sniffers, weenie flashers, guys who fall in love with their shoes, guys who belt their hog on the number 43 bus.

What, you think I'm gonna lose any sleep over who took this broad out?

Pissing strawberries and whipped cream, you think that.

She's a nine-to-five stiff, Tommy. No overtime.

You know how we're gonna break this one?

A couple of years, they'll bring in a guy who ran a red light.

"I killed the girl," he'll say. "What girl?" we'll say.

"The girl with the rose tattoo on her ass," he'll say.

"Which one is that?" we'll say.

That's how we're gonna break it.

What do you think?

Well, about 300 grams.

Oh, I missed it. You're fired!

That's the fourth one in three days you've missed.

She sure looks better in one piece.

...maceration considerably and separation and loss of scalp, along with a skull fracture.

There appear to be wood splinters in the scalp lacerations...

Fazenda, Lois. ...indicating the victim...

Fazenda. Polack?

...wooden instrument. Lithuanian.

Her brain tissue is macerated and dark red in color.

Date of birth, February 10, 1926.

Cause of death, hemorrhage...

Makes her 22. ...shock due to brain injuries.

Twenty-two next Tuesday.

I don't think she's gonna blow out the candles.

Death occurred no later than 12 hours prior to discovery.

She also had undigested food in her stomach. Egg rolls.

They all do it to somebody sideways.

Egg rolls. I analyzed the food.

I have nothing against him personally, Your Eminence.

No, I know you don't, Seamus.

But Desmond is a very good chancellor.

I think he's a better accountant than a chancellor, sir.

Seamus has just been listing some of your shortcomings.

It's a long list, Your Eminence.

The Monsignor learned it by heart when I was his curate at St. Damien's.

See, I think I am owed an explanation as to why I am being replaced as chairman of the building fund.

Now, I'm owed that, eh?

Yes, yes, of course you are, Seamus.

We had just felt that, perhaps, you couldn't take that much of a load.

And we're very grateful to you, Seamus. Very grateful, indeed.

Oh, I marvel at your energy, but... Excuse me.

I mean, a man of your years...

I'm a year younger than you are, Your Eminence.

Oh, you are, are you?

Well, the race is to the swift, huh?

We thought Monsignor Fitzgerald will take over the building fund.

You know, I'm not so fond of raising money, but I think it's idiotic to turn that job over to him.

Now, now, now, Seamus. His eyes twinkle.

Now, you show me a priest whose eyes twinkle all the time and I'll show you a moron.

That's quite enough, Seamus. Quite enough.

But you know that I cannot buy a new furnace.

I cannot buy new desks for the school.

I can't even buy insurance for the car without his permission.

What's this we call that, Desmond?

Central purchasing, Your Eminence. Ah, central purchasing.

I see. Well, I thought the priority was saving souls.

I don't need you to tell me what our priorities are, Seamus.

When I took over this archdiocese, it was virtually broke.

The banks now lend us money, due in no small measure to Monsignor Spellacy here.

Well, if he has his way, there'll be pay toilets for the rectory next.

Seamus, I've known you for, what is it, 50 years now.

And you were always a pain in the neck.

Now, you've had your say. Good afternoon.

Nothing today without a reservation, I'm afraid.

Monsignor Spellacy's table.

I was under the impression that Monsignor Spellacy would be lunching with Mr. Amsterdam.

Well, you made a mistake, fuckhead.

Right this way, sir.


I'd like to talk to you.


I'm sure I'll have a better table in a moment, Monsignor.

It's perfectly all right, John.

I'll have a rob roy, straight up, twist, thank you.

And, Tommy, what would you like?

A Schlitz, straight up, no twist, as long as His Eminence is paying.

I'm so sorry, Monsignor. That's all right.

The usual, Monsignor? Yes, please. Thank you.

Tommy, what would you like?

The usual will be fine for me too. Yes.

Whatever it is. You'll find out.

His Eminence told me to tell you that he was very grateful for what you did for Father Gagnon.

It's nothing. Anytime, anytime.

Oh, yes, I saw this before.

It's a very nice photo.

Well, you get your face in the paper often enough, Des, for a priest and all.

For a mick priest from Boyle Heights.

No, you know, you always were a harp with class.

In fact, what are you going to call yourself when you become pope?

I don't know. I thought about it.

Maybe I'll call myself Gelasius II. Yeah?

It has a nice little ring to it, don't you think?

Then again, it could be something simpler.

Thomas, after you.

There's never been a Pope Thomas. Thomas I.

Thomas I. I like that. It's nice and common.

A constant reminder to me that the flesh is weak.

Don't give me that pious crap, Des.

Not after that raffle at the Holy Innocents last year, fixing it so that Sonny O'Meara's daughter got that new Studebaker.

No wonder you gave such a big hello to Sonny over there.

Well, what did you get out of that?

Sonny's vote on the planning commission.

Got the property condemned for the new school at Holy Innocents.

Well, you should have mentioned the name Cornelia Cronin to him.

You would have saved yourself a Studebaker.

"Corky," they call her.

She's a bookkeeper in one of his funeral parlors, and she broke her back one weekend on Sonny's boat when Mrs. Sonny was off making a retreat.

He prays a lot better on a boat, Sonny, is what I hear.

And she gets $500 a month for life, Corky.

Excuse me, sir.

For the limp.

Put this on my tab, waiter. Yes, sir.

It's all right, Jack. Thank you.

No, no, no, Monsignor. Your money's no good here.

Oh, I'm sorry. Jack, this is my brother, Tom.

Jack Amsterdam.

How are you? I haven't had the pleasure.

Got the family resemblance. That's nice.

It's nice to have an older brother. I wish I would have had an older brother.

You know, I don't hear from you about Rancho Rosa.

Well, we're doing some new surveys, Jack.

And as soon as we're finished, we'll talk about it, okay?

I see.

His Eminence get the invitation to my fundraiser at St. Veronica's?

Yes, he did.

Tell His Eminence I'm counting on him. I will.

Nice to meet you. Likewise.

He's a winner, your brother.

And only the winner goes to dinner.

Hey, I like that. You hear that, Monsignor?

"Only the winner goes to dinner."

Runs in the family, brains.

I used to work for you.

Oh, yeah? When was that?

While you were running whores, I was your bagman in Wilshire Vice.

I did the payoffs for Brenda.

I'm sure you remember Brenda.

Of course, that was before you started doing fundraisers for St. Veronica's.

I gotta be going.

This brother of yours is a little disturbed. You better watch out for him.

Any messages for me?

Hey, Tommy.

Hey, how are you? Good.

Anything for me? No.

I want you to check out all the butcher shops, knife shops and medical suppliers, all right?

Jesus, Tom.

Sergeant Spellacy.

Could you hold for a minute, please?

Check out the garages yet? Yeah.

Know how many garages there are in this town?

Fifteen hundred. Right.

Sergeant Spellacy, may I help you?

Yes, ma'am, we do want to find that girl's killer.

And you are who? Mrs. Finley.

And you're from Culver City now, but you used to live in Guin, Alabama?

Now, I do what? I hard-boil an egg, and I put it in the victim's right hand.


Would you please mess up your own desk, Frank? Please?

Jeez, I guess I don't have to ask you how lunch with the Monsignor went, huh?

Then I close the casket. Right, I got that.

And then in seven days, the murderer will confess.

I've got that.

Yes, ma'am, it's something you used to do in Guin, Alabama.

Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.

You ever read the brassiere ads? No.

I read them all the time. I can pick them out.

I walk down the street, I see a girl, I see the straps through her blouse and I know it's a Latrique Latex Breathe-Easy with matching garter belt, $5.95.

That's a good thing to know, Frank.

You wanna have a drink? No, going home.

All right. Call me. Goodbye. Okay. You bet.

...the werewolf killer of the "virgin tramp " continued today as police of a dozen cities in California join the desperate manhunt.

The victim, Lois Fazenda, was revealed by police today to have been a romance seeker.

Langendorf bread...

Mother of God, pray for us...

the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with Thee.

Blessed art Thou among women.

And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost.

As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

This program is maintained only by your contributions.

This is your program.

At any sacrifice, it must continue.

This is Monsignor Spellacy thanking you for your support and inviting you to be with us daily as we pray the rosary for peace.

May the blessing of Almighty God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost descend upon you and remain forever. Amen.


Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been a year since my last confession.

Since then I accuse myself of impure actions.

I curse a lot. I got a bad temper.


Is that all?

The other day, I embarrassed my brother in public.

For these and all the sins of my past life, I am heartily sorry.

For your penance, say ten Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers and make an act of contrition.

Go in peace. Thank you, Father.

Is this the only one vice has got? Yep.

What'd that guy say?

She'd been an Arab extra at Warner Bros., huh?

In Casablanca? Right.

Oh, Jesus. My God.

Yeah. Look at that.

You're spilling your coffee.

Her parents claimed the body.

They're shipping it back to St. Louis. Right.

What a waste.

Who is that?

Is... Isn't that...

Isn't that the girl that gave Father Mickey the great sendoff?

Lorna. Lorna Keane.

I paid to get half-and-half. I should get half-and-half.

But you only did half.

What do you think I'm doing? Running a white sale?

But she was in such a hurry... Can I help you, Officer?

Here's your hat. Coat. Come on.

Okay. Let's go. Out.

Hey, out!

You'd make a good bouncer. Thanks.

So. How are you?

Swell. In the pink.

I've got a box at Santa Anita this season.

Listen, Brenda, I'm sorry about before. I got a little carried away.



Listen, I wanna talk to that colored girl, Lorna.

Is she around?

I got rid of her. Why?

I don't like having priests dying in my house.

It's not good for business.

She made a stag film. I'd like to talk to her.

Know where she went?

Maybe she went to New York on a personal appearance tour.

Why don't you ask Walter Winchell? Come on.

I want to find out who made this film. And I thought this was a social call.

A guy named Standard. Leland K. Standard.

He uses a lot of my girls.

Leland K. Standard.

Lois Fazenda. Did you ever know her? No.

Any of your girls ever talk about a cutter? Hard to find a girl that hasn't been cut.

That's part of the risk they take.

Oh, that's swell. That's just what I want to hear.

A lot of deep shit about how tough it is being a hooker.

Come on.

All that time when I was in the joint, never heard from you.

Not once.

Brenda, what do you expect from me?

Could have sent a card.

I sent you a card. I sent you a Christmas card.

With Santa Claus on it.


All right.

Standard. That's the guy. That's it.


Right. Let's go.

What's up? It's ahead. Come on!

Open up!

Police officers. LAPD.

Open up! Police department.

Open up. Police department.

Let's go. Right? We'll try it.

Tommy, be careful!

Freeze, you son of a bitch!

Fuck it!


Here. Here, drink some water. All right.

Stop crying. Here, blow your nose, all right?

You all right? I'm fine. He got away with my cuffs.


Put out an APB on that son of a bitch.

Get some patrol cars to shake down the area.

That wasn't Standard. Then who the hell was it?

Loan shark. Standard owed him.

How much, cutie? Four thousand, not including the vig.


That's Standard!

Well, that's swell.

Then where the hell is he? She says he's dead. I'm checking it.


What? Yeah.

Auto accident?

A week ago Wednesday.

Son of a bitch totaled his car. Brand-new Ford.

DOA, general hospital, 5:14 a.m.

Who are you? What do you do?

Me? I do awful good French.

Do you remember why you became a priest?

I had a vocation.

That's what we all say, isn't it?

A vocation to love God, help the poor, solace the sick and dying.

Is that it?


Well, why are you still coming back to me for confession after all these years?

What do you get out of it? It's good for my soul.

But you see, I have the sin of pride. I always have.

And I recognize it in you.

Because you like power.

You like to use power. I've told you that.

Yes, sir, I agree with you.

But how could you get things done without using it?

If our business is saving souls, then we need a place to save them.

And somebody's got to take care of that.

So you're always saying.

I know, but what other choice is there?


Well, I don't know.

But just don't sell yourself short.

Next time I ask you for a nine-iron, give me a nine-iron, would you?

He gave you the seven because the last time you birdied the hole with a seven, Dan.

Was I playing with you?

Mind your own business, would you?

I keep reading about your brother, the policeman, Des, in the newspapers about this "virgin tramp" business.

Well, it's the Virgin Mary they should be writing about.

Don't you think so, Des?

That's right.

Well, people are bored. The war is over.

They have to have something to sink their teeth into.

But he's a grand policeman. That's what they tell me.

Is he making any progress, I wonder?

We've got to unload Jack.

It's not as if Jack's done anything illegal, Des.

No, only profitable.

It's been going on too long. It's a full-time job, looking the other way.

He's got to go and that's it.

I don't think you want to get on the wrong side of him.

Why don't you leave that up to me?

Wasn't there a run-in recently between Jack and your brother, the policeman?

What about it?

You let Jack go now, what's it going to look like?

And what about Rancho Rosa?

Forget Rancho Rosa. That's not going to happen.

Oh, that's going to be very difficult, Des.

No more difficult than it was for you to pension off Cornelia Cronin, her name was?

Otherwise know as Corky.

That was a Christian thing to do, Sonny.

I think I can get Neddy Flynn to bid against Jack on that contract for the new orthopedic wing at St. John's Hospital.

That's perfect.

Neddy loves getting his bones broken, I hear.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

There's lots of grand ways to handle it, Dan, so as Jack's feelings don't get hurt, is what I mean.

We could give him a dinner.

Catholic Layman Of The Year?

That's grand, Des. That's just grand.

May I help you, young man?

Mrs. Phil Spellacy. I know the way.

You'll have to wait. She's receiving communion.

May all your sons be Jesuits, Sister.

Who is that come in, Monsignor?

Is that you, Tom? Yeah. Here you go.

Brought me something!

Good to see you. How are you? Bad breath, Thomas.

Are you still constipated? Oh, every day.

The Monsignor here recommends the castor oil.

And listen to the Monsignor, Thomas.

You remembered my favorite color.

What's this with the orange bow on here?

He has grand grammar.

Always had to wash your mouth out with soap.

The dirty words. Okay, Ma, let's forget about that, okay?

Wouldn't it be grand if you had turned out to be a nun like the younger one.

I'm a priest, Ma. I think I'm a priest.

And a swell one too.

Tom, has Moira received first holy communion?

Yeah, about 12 years ago, Ma.

That's grand, Tom.

Spell out the holy days of obligation.

And start at the beginning.

There's a rap on the knuckles if you don't start at the beginning.

What's the beginning?

Well, Immaculate Conception.

Immaculate... Try Immaculate Conception.

I-M-M-A... I-M... Immaculate.

That's the hard part. ...C...

Conception is a snap once you know your C's from your S's.

Will you let me finish? U-L-A-T-E. Okay?

You're a much better speller now, Tom. I hope so.

You used to have trouble with your vowels.

A, E, I, O, U. Sometimes Y.

Conception, Thomas.

Mind your C's.

Hello, Sister.

I didn't think she'd talk about your breath.

Yeah, a grand speller like yourself.

I'll give you a ride back to the chancery. That's C-H-A-N-C-E-R-Y.

Yeah, you're right.

Remember Uncle Eddie's wake when Aunt Jenny asked Pa what Uncle Eddie was really like after all, because he knew him so well.

Pa looks down at Eddie's casket and looks up at Aunt Jenny and says, "Well, he was a good shoveler, Jenny.

"Not a fancy shoveler, mind you, but a good shoveler."

High praise from the old man.

One thing about the old man, he never missed a wake.

Free booze and plenty of it.

Ever feel like doing something? Sure, let's do that.

Let's... Maybe Saturday?

Saturday? Well, I have my golf game on Saturday, but...

Oh, okay.

Well, I'll cancel it if it's the only day you have.

No. No, that's okay. It'll interfere with your golf game.

I'll change it. No, just forget about it.

Tommy, I can change it. No.

Just forget it, okay?

Another time.

But I just... I'll... I'll... Never mind.

It would behoove you, Seamus, to remember that I'm running this archdiocese, not Monsignor Spellacy.

Well, I respect that, Your Eminence.

It's just that this archdiocese has become so...

I don't know.

Every day, I'm feeling less like a priest and more like an employee of a construction company.

Yes, well, I want you at that luncheon, Seamus.

I suppose I could pick up a few pointers about the cement business.

Yes, Seamus.

As you wish, Your Eminence.


Sit yourself there, Desmond. Sit yourself.

I'm afraid he'll have to go.

Do you mean that...

I mean he'll have to be replaced, Desmond.

And don't look as if you'd never heard the word before.

Well, I think you're making a mistake, Your Eminence.

Oh, is that so?

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I think that he's a good priest.

He runs the best parish in the archdiocese, and he's a good man.

Yes, of course, he's a good man.

But the fact is we need younger pastors.

That's the long and the short of it.

Men who will do what they're told.

For the good of the Church.


For the good of Holy Mother Church, that's exactly what I mean.

So will you just find out what his needs are?

I'm sure you'll be able to find a place for him, Monsignor.

And perhaps it will be a lesson to some of the other pastors.

As you wish, Your Eminence.

You know, you said that exactly like him.

Well, you may as well know it now as never.

You'll find you'll have a few unpleasant things to do when you become a bishop.

You know, of course, there's an opening for an auxiliary bishop.

I've recommended you.

And I strongly suspect that Rome will accept the recommendation.

And then, perhaps, you'll find an ambitious young monsignor to do the dirty work for you.

That's all, thank you. Thank you, Your Eminence.

There's an opening for a chaplain at St. Francis Hospital.


I can't think of anything better.

Well, there's a parish in the desert. St. Mary's.

Yes, but that's in the middle of nowhere, Monsignor.

Yes, I like the desert.

Well, then, consider it done. Thank you, Monsignor. Thank you.

Goodbye, Monsignor.

Bye, Monsignor.

I'm sorry.

Goodbye, Desmond.

Is it true you're dating Sabu, the elephant boy?

Are you going to see Sabu in New York when the picture opens?

No comment. When's the last time you saw him?

No comment. Is it true you were seen...

Here you are. Oh, thank you.

Was that June Haver or June Havoc?

I don't know.

I always get them mixed up.

You know, my baby always wanted to be a movie star.

She had the smile for it.

She loved Bing Crosby. She wore braces until she was 17.

Going My Way was her favorite movie. And a retainer after that.

Only at night, the retainer. Never on dates.

See, 10:00, she had to be home, date nights.

She just popped her retainer back in.

She wrote poems. See, that's the kind of girl Lois was.


She wrote this.

"Remember me and keep in mind

"a faithful friend is hard to find



"But when you are good and true

"trade not the good ones for the new"

When did... Lois.


How did you get a hold of this? She left it last time she was home.

When was that?

Thanksgiving. She said she was up for a part.

Yeah, that's when it was.

I'd like to keep the poem, if you don't mind.

Handwriting can be very useful in a case like this.

She might have written to... The son of a bitch that killed her.

Shit's gonna hit the fan.

I went over every bill of his and every bill on every phone in every apartment she's lived in the last year.

Fifty-three times she called him.

So he was screwing her.

She did that a lot.

That's what she did for a living, somebody said. So?

Does he make you nervous, Frank?

You thought about your brother, the Monsignor?

I've thought about him a lot.

Sergeant Spellacy.

Come on, I'd love to see you drop him, but not on this one.

He was screwing her, wasn't he?

Of course, he was screwing her, but he didn't kill her.

We're going to find that out, aren't we?

Look, he's old, Jack. He's gonna die soon.

He's got cancer. Yeah?

You didn't know that, did you? No, I didn't.

Well, if you don't believe me, check it out.

He shook hands with the Pope. How many pimps can say that?

Oh, well, that's some big deal.

Believe me, he's crazier than you are.

He's crazy enough to be dangerous.

Yeah? Well, thank you very much.

Well, just think of it as my going-away present.

I'm leaving town.

You're what?

Yeah, I'm leaving town. Why?

I did a scrape a couple of days ago. I made a mistake. I...

I nipped her. She hemorrhaged.

Well, did she die?

No. She's one of my old girls. She'll keep her mouth shut.

It's just one of those things.

You never used to do scrapes, did you?


You get old. Yeah.

So where do you think you'll go?

Well, you know, I don't know.

Can I give you a reference or something?

I've never had any trouble buying cops.

That's funny.

I just wanted to say goodbye.

It's nice to have somebody to say goodbye to.

Who have I got?

Lieutenant-Governor? What am I gonna do?

Call him up and say, "Hey, remember me? You used to be a regular"?

Pat says to Mike, "What are you digging a hole for?"

And Mike says to Pat, "I'm not digging a hole.

"I'm digging the dirt and leaving a hole."

But speaking seriously, I remember that day, and it was not so long ago, when the creditors were banging at the doors of this archdiocese, when, as the saying goes, we didn't have a pot to spit in.

When we had buildings to build, churches and schools, and convents and hospitals, and not a copper penny to build them with.

It was then, at that dire moment, when His Eminence asked our designee as Catholic Layman Of The Year if he could help us out.

I think all of you know what he said. "Yes," said Jack Amsterdam.

If I might add a personal note here...

Brenda was right.

Amsterdam was in St. John's Hospital getting treatment the night Fazenda was killed.

And that's beat me in golf.

Gentlemen, the Catholic Layman Of The Year, Jack Amsterdam.

How's your drink?


You'll never get a sash, Frank.

You're not a pimp. You've got to be a rich pimp, to get a sash like that.


You're a cop, not a pillar of the community.

Don't worry about him. He... Jack.

Monsignor. Are you being taken care of? Can I help you?

Sonny's getting our coats, thank you.

By the way, have you made a decision on Rancho Rosa yet?

We haven't, Jack, but I think we're gonna do some serious reevaluation.

I think we should talk about it another time. Good night.

Des, how are you doing? Hi, Tommy.

Good to see you.

This is Dan Campion. Hi.

What I wonder is if you were wearing this when you were banging Lois Fazenda.

You're a real asshole, you know?

Come on, Jack! Come on, Jack!

What are you doing?

Tommy, get back!

What the hell are you doing?

Goddamn you! Come back here!


Knock it off! Hey, you!

What are you doing? Just get back!

Get him out of here!

Come on. Come back here!

Come over here. Jack, Jack...

Come on. Let's go.

Come on. Let go of me, will you?

Get your hands off me, you rotten bastard.

That's enough! Come on.

That's enough. Get out of my way.

You hear me? You're a son of a bitch!

Come on back!

All right, all right. Come on, Dan.

Too much wine in the chalice again this morning, Mr. Toomey.

Yes, Monsignor. Sorry, Monsignor.

What I don't need in the mornings is a stiff pick-me-up.

Sorry, Monsignor.

That's all right. Run along, boys.

Future missionaries, Des. Future of the church, if you ask me.

God help the church.

You know how to handle them, that's for sure.

I don't think there's anything you can't handle. I mean it.

What's on your mind, Dan? A little breakfast.

Creamed chipped beef on toast down at The Biltmore. What do you think?

Sorry, no, I can't. I'm busy, Dan. Very busy.

Well, I can have a word with you. Sure.

Here? Why not?

I was thinking about your brother, the policeman.

Got a hell of a temper.

He was an altar boy, was he?

That wasn't his line, no.

I suppose he's still working on that... That girl's murder?

The virgin something-or-other, was it? Tramp.

That's it.

Well, you remember her, don't you, Des?

Remember who, Dan? That girl.

We met her. Don't you remember? You and I?

We were coming back from Del Mar last summer.

Went to the track...

She was hitchhiking. We picked her up. Gave her a ride, I mean.

She was Christian Science. Don't you remember?

You asked her about it. She was sitting in the back seat.

Christian Science?

You mean the one who didn't know who Mary Baker Eddy was?

That was her? That's right.

Well, we...

We got to be friends, she and I.

Des, if it comes out we were friendly, it's going to be embarrassing.

You know what I'm talking about?

I was in San Diego the night that girl was killed. I was with Peg.

We were at the regional meeting of the Knights of Columbus.

I'm clean.

You have to have a talk with your brother.


It's Jack I'm worried about. He knew her too.

We had a talk, Jack and I. Oh, you did? Really?

I suppose you told him I was a warm, personal friend of Miss Fazenda's?

No, I didn't put it exactly like that.

Oh, you didn't put it exactly like that. Of course not.

Jack thinks your brother's crazy. Well, he very well might be right.

Des, I'm 57 years old.

Yes, you're 57 years old.

You're worried about your picture in the paper when they take you for questioning.

Just remember something, Monsignor. You were there the day we met her.

Yes, we met her. You fucked her.

You know, she really got around the archdiocese, your pal with the tattoo.

The lawyer, right? Catholic Layman Of The Year?

She comes home from the track with the Monsignor himself.

There's going to be an awful lot of red faces if this policeman does his duty.

That wasn't the only reason I came to talk to you.

Sure, Des.

I'm sorry you don't understand that.

Well, whatever you say.

I just wanted...

I wanted to also talk.

Why is that? Because you're my brother.

If I can't talk to you, I can't talk to anyone.


Something's gotta change in my life. I'm... I'm not...

I'm tired of fixing things. I'm tired of getting involved with...

You wanna eat something? A piece of pie?

No, I don't want anything, thanks.

Watch your heads!

Come on, girls. Let's go!

It was just a way of making a buck, that movie.

That's all it was.

I never even saw it.

What about her?

I never even saw her before that movie.

And I never saw her since.

All I remember is that tattoo.

She said she got it from some guy down in Long Beach.

Didn't cost her nothing, just a piece of ass.

Boy, did Standard like that tattoo!

He was a freak, Standard. He belonged in a zoo.

Where was his zoo?

Out in El Segundo.

An old army barracks.

Looks like a goddamn freak show out there.

All right, look at this.

That's Standard.

All right. When did he die?

Compared to when she died.

It's the night before.

He had 11 hours to kill her. Son of a bitch.

He killed her, dumped her at the lot, then he totals the Ford.

Son of a bitch.

Sergeant Spellacy, Homicide.

Where are you?

Right. I'll be right there.

What happened? Gas. She just turned it on.

She had enough gas in her room to blow up half of East LA.

It's over here.


That's it.

One of the girls said the last person she called was Jack Amsterdam.

I don't know what she wanted, but I'd say she didn't get it.

Let's get him, Frank.

She's a suicide.

Then we'll get him for the Fazenda girl.

You know Standard killed her.

You just came back from the barracks! You know Jack didn't do it.

Well, then, his lawyer will get him off, won't he?

You can't do it.

I can. No, you can't do it.

You're just trying to settle up an old score.

What about your brother? It's his ass too.

What are you trying to prove, that he's just like you?

He is. He's your brother.

Are you all right?

Cut the crap. I don't have all day.

It's been 20 years since my last confession.

I had a lot of things to do.

You're not gonna say anything?

The way it goes, you're supposed to tell me.



I'm a married man, but I gotta admit, I knew a few girls in my time.

Nothing else?

I got into arguments with some guys. How do you define "arguments"?

Who the hell are you to ask all these questions?

I'm your confessor.

You're my confessor in here, but you wheel and deal out there, is that it?

You're in here now. Yeah, I know.

Is that all? Yeah. Yeah, that's all.

Are you sorry for your sins? Sure, I'm sorry for my sins.

For your penance...

I know, I know. ...pray a rosary and make...

I don't know why you did that to me. I thought we were friends.

Now, you did that Rancho Rosa deal, and then you paid me off with that green sash.

And another thing, about your brother...


Go in peace.

Open that screen! Open it up!

You keep him off my fucking back.

He's trying to drop that whore on me.

I can't help it if he was on the take, your brother.

Nobody twisted his arm.

You tell him if he grabs me, it's your ass gonna be in the sling, not mine.

I'm clean. Not his. Yours.

You're a priest. A priest!

And you knew that whore, and you never told anyone.

Now, you ask your brother how that's gonna look in the newspapers.

Who absolves you, huh?

Who absolves you?

I got a family.

There's a scholarship named after me.

I met the Pope, for Christ sakes.

You understand, you hypocrite?

What are you doing giving absolution to that mick pimp?

I want to know that.


Do you want me to hear your confession? I've got nothing to tell.

Oh, yeah, all right. Okay. All right.

I wanted to say that your pal, Jack, is kind of in the shit, is the reason I'm here. We're gonna pick him up.

I don't wanna embarrass you or the Cardinal.

He's in a state of grace, and I'll let him enjoy it. All right?

I thought you'd want to be prepared. You saw his picture in the paper.

I don't wanna do anything behind your back.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you very much.

This is for the Fazenda girl?

Yes. So he...

Passed her around like a piece of Christmas candy while you were out playing golf.

Listen... Did he do it?

Catholic Layman Of The Year. Did he do it, Tommy?

Highest honors bestowed on that... Tommy, did he do it?

I don't care whether he killed her! I don't give a shit!

I just don't care!

That's it.

And I don't care whether you go down with him or not.

Neither do I.

Neither do I.

Will you continue as Chancellor of the archdiocese?

Give us a break, fellows. Give us a break.

Have you spoken to the Cardinal...

Hey, step away!

You can tell me why the Cardinal refused to make any comment?

What are your plans for the future?

I'm gonna die, Tommy.

The arteries to the pump are shot.

Sit down.


It's all right. I'm ready.

As they say, my bags are packed.


I'll sing...


I'll sing an Irish song at your funeral.

With my voice...

I'll wake you up again.

It's okay.

It must have been hard, Des. I mean...

No, it wasn't.

I never had a great gift for loving God, and Seamus told me that that was not a drawback as long as I could make myself useful.

He taught me the meaning of being a priest.

And there's a kind of peace in that.

It's my fault, Des, all of it. Every bit of it.

I'm sorry.

No, Tommy. You were my salvation, actually.

You made me remember things that I had forgotten.

I thought I was someone who I wasn't.

I saved a plot over there.

I hope when the time comes that...

Out here? In the middle of all this goddamn sand?

I don't know. I don't know.

I tell you.

But I guess it's...

I guess one place is about as good as another.

This is it.