Tummy Trouble (1989) Script

(UPBEAT THEME PLAYING)

Snookums, don't cry, Mommy will only be gone for an hour.

Uncle Roger will take care of you and everything's going to be just fine.

Not like last time!

Don't worry about a thing. I've learned my lesson.

I'm a reformed rabbit, a better bunny, a happy hare.

(CRYING)

Shh!

You don't want to get your old pal Roger in trouble, do you?

(CRYING) I know. Ta-da!

Look, it's a bright shiny rattle. (COOS)

(GIGGLES)

(RATTLING)

(BABBLING HAPPILY)

(YELLS)

Jeepers, somebody call 911, call 911!

(SIREN WAILING)

(SUCKING)

Please be okay, Baby Herman.

Why does everything happen to you? Why couldn't it happen to me?

Huh?

To me.

Oh!

Baby wants his bottle.

(SINGING) Rock-a-bye, baby On the treetop Oh! Oh! Oh! (BELCHES)

(GIGGLES)

(BELCHES)

(COOS)

Look, it's the rattle! (LAUGHS)

Baby Herman, our problems are over.

(ROGER LAUGHS)

(SCREAMS)

(WAILING)

Rattle, rattle, rattle. (RATTLING)

(COOS)

(GIGGLES)

(HUMMING CONGA MUSIC) (RATTLING)

ORDERLY: Baby Herman swallowed rattle.

Yep, this is him. Hey, what's going on here?

(YELLS) Jeepers, what are you doing?

You guys are making a big mistake. You don't know who I am.

(SHUDDERING)

Anesthetic!

(WOLF WHISTLE)

Oh!

Bottle.

Oh!

(BABBLING)

HERMAN: Bottle. Ah!

(BABBLING)

Very serious.

We must operate immediately.

Let's get him onto the table.

DOCTORS: Huh?

DOCTOR: Hmm...

Hey, let go of the cotton, you swab.

Na-na-na-na-na!

(SPLUTTERING)

(SCREAMS)

Okay, let's cut him open.

Just give me a bicarb, I'll be fine.

(SCREAMS)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Lunch!

(CLAMORING)

(BABBLING) Oh!

Hey, it's Baby Herman! Jeepers, am I glad to...

Hey, where are you going?

Bottle. Oh!

Big bottle.

ROGER: Hey, Baby, that's not your bottle. Come back, come back.

That's not your bottle!

Don't worry, Baby, I'll get you.

HERMAN: Wow!

Baby Herman, come down from there.

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

Ow! Ow!

(GRUNTS)

Ah! Ooh!

(GIGGLING)

Look out!

Oh! I'll catch you!

(LAUGHS)

Huh?

(HERMAN COOING)

(SPITS)

(ROGER SCREAMING)

(HERMAN COOING)

Got you!

(HERMAN SIGHS)

Baby Herman, I'll catch you.

Gruesome, isn't it, folks?

(PANTING) Baby Herman. Baby, Baby...

(SCREAMS)

(BANGING) (GRUNTING)

(ROGER WHIMPERING)

HERMAN: Wow!

Well, Baby Herman, it looks like smooth sailing from now on.

Huh?

Oh, no!

HERMAN: Whoo!

(ROGER SCREAMS)

(ROGER GRUNTING)

(SPUTTERING)

(LAUGHS)

Baby Herman, the rattle, we're cured.

Thank goodness for modern medicine.

Huh?

(GIGGLES)

(GULPS)

MAN: Cut. That was great. (SPITS)

(MAN'S VOICE) If I have to swallow that rattle one more time, I'm gonna puke my guts out.

Get me out of this thing.

Jeepers, Baby Herman, calm down.

This ain't funny, call my agent. You'll give yourself a heart attack.

This is no way to treat a star.

All right, Baby Herman, you were stupendous. Oh!

Roger, honey bunny, let's go home and play.

Jeepers, what do we play? Tiddlywinks, canasta, Parcheesi?

Oh, how about a little patty-cake instead?

Patty-cake? Jeepers.

Good night, Larry.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) Okay, that's a wrap, folks.

All right, great, great.

Save the lights. Good night.

MAN 1: Good night, Tweet-o.

MAN 2: Good night.

Oh!

(DOOR CLOSES)