Two Weeks Notice (2002) Script

LUCY: I'm an attorney. This isn't how I argue.

MAN: You're getting on my nerves!

This building has been here 75 years. It deserves to remain for the community... because it represents the ideals of that time!

The community deserves to have this as a landmark. It is something to...

And we're removing it from our children's children. You go back here.

This a community theater, and everyone should benefit from this building!

This is your last warning! We got a permit to take down this building!

I have a permit that allows me to gather for the purpose... of expressing my constitutional right of free speech!

You want to get killed, lady? Sir, according to city code...

Forget about your code! Section 245: If a committee...

FOREMAN: Forget about the code, lady! When a landmark's committee decision...

FOREMAN: Lady, you're in violation! Have you ever read the Constitution?

Take it up, Charlie! Watch this constitution.

LUCY: Do you read? FOREMAN: Clear the area!

Yeah, you're clear. Go ahead.

[BEEPING]

Okay, you guys, this is just a scare tactic.

That's all this is. Well, it's sort of working.

Meryl, they do productions from the Y here, productions with little people!

The Nutcracker and Hair. We have to lie down in protest. Take out your mats.

Here, I've got your protective eye gear, your sun block and your wet naps.

Everybody, lie down in protest! FOREMAN: Get out of the way.

We will prevail! You will go to jail!

Tom! Lock arms.

I'm not feeling great about this. LUCY: Have a little faith.

Meryl, would you marry me?

Really?

Oh, my God! Yes!

FOREMAN: Shut it down, Charlie.

I love you. Hey, you guys, they stopped.

You're good luck. There is justice in the world. We prevailed!

FOREMAN: Lunatic!

Crazy lady!

We should call our parents. Yeah.

Here are your wet naps.

Oh, thanks. Thanks. We had a good time.

I'm glad. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Thank you.

I'll pay you back this time, guys. I promise.

What are parents for, if not to bail their daughter and her friends out of jail?

So did they knock it down?

I'm not getting through to people. Why don't people respond to me?

Honey, Wade Corporation is not people, it's a heartless profit machine.

And it's getting worse all the time.

LARRY: They're bidding on the Surf Avenue lot.

They wanna put up condos and tear down the center.

Wait, our community center? My community center?

Come on, honey, let's discuss it over dinner.

No, Dad, you know what? I'm just tired. I think I'll just go home.

ANSEL: Hi, honey, it's Ansel.

I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna make it back for your birthday.

We got a lot of new trainees on board and they put the green in Greenpeace.

But I'm saving whales and thinking of you. Love you.

Yeah, hi, Mr. Wong. Lucy Kelson.

Fine. I would like a number 17... a number fou... Number five.

No. Number seven? Seven.

Can I get the number four without the garlic sauce?

Okay, and then maybe two orders of number 26.

And...

Yes, it's for one.

And that's it. No! Give me a number eight.

Give me two number eights.

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

[APPLAUSE ECHOING]

When they told me I'd been chosen the Medical Center's Man of the Year...

I assumed it had something to do with... the millions we contributed to the pediatric wing.

But as it turns out, I had my appendix removed earlier this year... and under anesthesia, I apparently proposed marriage... to every nurse in the hospital.

Including the many attractive male nurses.

REPORTER: Why are pediatrics so important to Wade?

I think feet are very important, aren't they?

I'm just teasing. I know there's more to pediatrics than feet.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Always nice to see you.

TERRY: George, congratulations. Terry, how are you?

Still slicing? TERRY: Indeed.

GEORGE: I bet you are.

Hi, there. Oh, yes, the Emile family. Lovely. So good.

Hi. Nice to see you. Take care.

Melanie Corman. Administration. Ah-ha.

My friend Elaine Cominsky wants to meet you, but she's shy. Is that okay?

That's fine. I've been too nervous to meet Elaine myself.

Good. Don't move. Great tie. Thanks. I was rather nervous about it.

Hey. GEORGE: Hey.

Hey, your brother wants to see you. What? Now? Tonight?

That's what he said. Although sometimes it's hard to tell with the accent.

This is Elaine.

Oh, hello. Hi. Would you sign my GQ?

[ELAINE CHUCKLES]

GEORGE: GQ! I see what you mean.

Sorry, I thought it was a medical term. You had me all excited.

"To Elaine, George Wade." Thank you.

Hang on just one second.

There's no way I'm running up to Westchester just because he calls.

It's absurd. He'll just have to wait.

Right on. Hey, man, forget him. Yeah.

Should I get the car? Yes, get the car.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

Good evening, Mr. George. Good evening, Rosario.

Excellent new hairdo. Mr. George.

No, I'm serious. You look like a young Imelda Marcos.

Hello, George. Hello, Helen.

Don't you think Rosario looks particularly lovely tonight?

I hadn't really noticed. Rosario, the children need baths, please.

Yes, Miss Helen.

So how are the kids, apart from dirty? HELEN: They're fine.

Can I get you anything? I'd love some Milk Duds.

We don't have any. I could send out for one.

Oh, no, don't be ridiculous. If you're going to send out, get a whole box.

Howard is in the gym. Right.

Forty-five minutes, 6.5 miles an hour, at an elevation of three.

It's incredible how much more relaxed I feel.

Helen does an hour a day too. Yes, you both seem extremely relaxed.

You can cut the relaxation with a knife.

So why am I here, Howie?

We lost the West Side waterfront deal because your chief counsel... your latest model-slash-attorney... forgot to file an Environmental Impact Report.

I will admit that the law is not Amber's strong point.

That's why I fired her. HOWARD: No, I fired her.

Just as I fired Debbie from St. Barts' Law School... and Stacy from Online Law School.

I want someone from Yale or Columbia or from the continental United States.

Women of that level of intellectual ability often find me shallow.

HOWARD: Then hire a man. Don't be absurd.

Because they wouldn't sleep with you?

No, because it would make you and Dad too happy.

Dad has been dead for 10 years.

Well, there is no reason for him to start enjoying himself now.

HOWARD: Get someone who can write a brief instead of removing yours.

And she can handle your divorce while she's at it.

You are still getting divorced?

Unless my ex-wife decides to fall in love with me again, or for the first time, yeah.

HOWARD: No! Why do you always find that so funny?

It's very hard to say. Hire a real attorney by tomorrow.

Don't!

Hello, have a good day. MAN: Thank you, ma'am.

GEORGE: So you're Russian, you say? TIFFANY: 100%.

Hence, blond hair, blue eyes, cheekbones.

Sorry to have kept you so long, but at least I feel I know everything about you.

And I you. You know, usually I'm so nervous at interviews, but that was fun.

Yes. Isn't fun fun? It's been a pleasure, Tiffany.

LUCY: Mr. Wade? Mr. Wade?

Hi, I'm Lucy Kelson. I'm an attorney.

Have you ever heard of Saint-Tropez Law School?

No. What a shame.

Where did you go to law school? Harvard.

Harvard? Yes.

Intriguing. Tell me more. What's your background?

I don't see how that's relevant. I work for the Coalition for the Homeless.

At Legal Aid. That can't pay much.

I'm not very interested in money.

[CHUCKLES]

Wait a minute. You're Kelson.

You lie in front of our wrecking balls.

You attacked the Zegman brothers... I did not.

It's not my fault they walked under a protest sign.

You're not here for a job? I'm representing... the Coney Island Community Center. It was built in 1922.

It's the heart of Coney Island. It has adult education, basketball...

CPR, Lamaze, water ballet, senior's tae kwon do. It's great.

For children, it's a home away from home.

I mean, I practically grew up there.

It's lovely, but Trump has the inside track. Nice to meet you.

No, Mr. Wade, you don't understand.

I live there, as well as my parents.

They know Assemblyman Perez, who's on the board.

If you can guarantee the preservation of this center, I'll guarantee you the build.

But why us? Why Wade?

Well, I can't get in to see Trump and the Zegmans have a restraining order.

MAN: Mr. W?

You're supposed to be taping The View in half an hour... and Public Policy needs a quote on the challenges of urban planning. Hey.

Right. Yes. Quote, quote, quote, quote...

What I love about architecture is its ability to shape a community.

This center has shaped the community! It turns strangers into neighbors...

Its ability to change strangers into neighbors.

How the right design for a park can make people feel secure.

How a school building can be functional and beautiful so that kids feel...

No, the community center makes children feel engaged. It allows them a place...

Functional and beautiful so that kids feel engaged instead of imprisoned?

Yeah, sounds good. I like that.

But I said a community center, not a school.

I know, it's all very good. Jump in. Thanks.

Nice shirt. LUCY: Thank you.

[LUCY CLEARS THROAT]

So do we have a deal?

No. I want something else from you.

No. I'm fully aware of your reputation and there's no way you're getting that.

Getting what? You know.

The sex. That's not gonna happen.

No, that would be nice, but what I really need is a new chief counsel.

Well, I think I would prefer the sex, because...

Okay, if you take the job, I promise to save your community center.

You can direct our pro bono efforts.

That's millions of dollars at your charitable disposal.

You couldn't possibly want me.

I've spent my life working against people like you.

Well, maybe if you work for me, you'll win occasionally.

I... I don't... I need an answer immediately.

Here is my direct number at the Grand Hotel.

You live at a hotel? Well, I own the hotel and I live there.

My life is very much like Monopoly.

And I know you wouldn't care, but I'll start you at $250,000.

There's also usually a very nice Christmas bonus.

Thank you.

Hi, Lu. LUCY: Hey, Rocco.


I can't believe how much I ate. I'm proud of you.

The whole left side of the menu.

You know when I get tense, I just start to eat.

Honey, you cannot work for that man. Hey, we can use the bail money.

Remember what Sun Tzu said? LUCY: Yes.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

Sun Tzu didn't have a daughter.

What's this? Oh, dessert. Thank you.

It's the only way to save the community center.

It is. And if I work for him...

I have huge resources at my disposal for charities and shelters...

Yes, but... LUCY: Mom, I promise.

I will still be your daughter. I will still be a lawyer.

And I will still have all the same ideals.

Let's update all the files.

Especially the muni-codes because I'll need those.

I'm gonna speak with Mr. Wade.

Mr. Wade, so sorry to bother.

I've been over the Environmental Impact Reports for Island Towers.

I would really love to talk to you. Very good.

I really wanted to ask you: Which one of these do you prefer?

How do you mean? It's for my new personalized stationery.

Is this a trick question? They look exactly the same to me.

No, not at all. This is a linen finish and this is a watermarked vellum finish.

Leaving aside the fact that they've taken perfectly good forests... and denuded them in order to produce this nonrecyclable paper...

I would say it was...

Well, then this one. It tastes better.

Do you know, I've asked 30 people that question.

You're the only one to come up with that.

LUCY: Hmm.

My God, you're good. I'm getting you a bigger office.

LUCY: No, it's very sweet, but I'd rather go over the...

Very firm.

But is it too firm?

There's debate among chiropractors about the optimum level of tension.

What are your thoughts?

If you really want to know, the more firm the mattress... the more pressure on the 5th vertebra leading to herniation and subluxation.

GEORGE: Hmm.

Quite bouncy, though. Have a bounce.

No.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello. Yes, I'm glad you're up.

I didn't want to wake you. I just felt like a chat.

George, it is 2:15 in the morning.

Can't you talk to whatever Mensa candidate you're with?

I resent the implication... that because someone may not share your high IQ... they're not a person of substance.

Wow. You all right?

I swallowed my Altoid.

She swallowed her Altoid. That can happen. A sudden hair flick, dangerous.

Okay, George, I am tired. Put her on the phone.

You mean, put her on the phone?

Put her on the phone!

All right. Someone for you.

Hi. Hi.

The man you're dancing with is deeply troubled, okay?

And even though he's rich and attractive... you're too young to trade yourself like a stock on NASDAQ... for someone who won't remember your name... or his in the morning, is still married... and has recently had a very suspicious rash.

It is 2:16.

Go home, finish high school and reach your potential!

GEORGE: You all right?

I think I'm gonna go.

What did you say to her? Nice chat? Yes, she seemed very special.

Okay, I've got to get up early for a divorce case, so I have to go.

Yes. Now that we have to talk about. Now, do you think I should cry?

I was thinking perhaps little machine gun bursts of sobs.

[SOBS]

A little more hysteria, more of a whimper than a sob.

You're pathetic. Good night.

All right.

I'm sure he'll be here any minute. Is there any more Diet Coke?

[DOOR OPENS]

Sorry, everybody.

Did I miss the blessed event?

Check with me before you talk.

Now that we're all here, I'd like to discuss the settlement terms.

The terms have been set. It's called a prenup.

We both know... that a prenup doesn't preclude certain recompensatory...

In English, although I can follow you in German and Japanese if you prefer.

She wants double the alimony. No way.

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN AND JAPANESE]

Given the situation, it's not an unreasonable request.

You're referring to the alleged infidelity, are you not?

Alleged? He was having sex with her in our bed.

I knew you were worried to get anything on that sofa.

How dare you come in here... I shouldn't have said that. Sorry.

Please.

So you are saying that infidelity is worth twice the alimony.

Using your reasoning, any infidelity on her part... would have to be held against her in a monetary accounting.

What are you suggesting?

The soon to be ex-Mrs. Wade did a little couch time with a company accountant.

And he's willing to testify.

I have loyal employees. I think it's the health plan.

The health plan is excellent. Thank you.

You're welcome.

We will not agree to pay any... We will pay the alimony... plus $100,000 and a generous property settlement... if you release me from further obligation.

You son of a bitch! What?

Watch it or you will not get the estate, Mrs. Wade.

Don't call me that! You're just another one of his stupid bimbos!

Now, wait! She is far from stupid...

What do you think you're doing? LUCY: Went up my nose.

Water went up my nose. GEORGE: It's only water.

LUCY: Yes. This hankie is very nearly clean.

LUCY: Okay. I'll dab you.

You may blow. LUCY: Thank you.

GEORGE: Good.

Divorce always gives me an appetite. Kebab?

No, I've never warmed to the idea of a flesh Popsicle.

One, please. Chicken, thank you. Why did you give her the money?

She'd never have stopped till she got what she wanted.

You always say I have a responsibility towards those less fortunate.

Everybody is less fortunate than you... so just give the money to someone who's not gonna spend it on collagen.

You only want me to be generous to those you approve of.

No. I only want you to finally allow me to do my job.

You did your job. This morning I was married, now I'm not. You did superbly.

Thank you very much.

Here, that's fine. You keep the change. Thank you.

LUCY: George.

Hey, that's my coffee, you jerk! Oh, sir, I'm so sorry.

Moron! I thought you're needy.

What's wrong? I thought you were needy.

Can't a guy have coffee?! I didn't...

GEORGE: Come on, Mother Teresa. MAN: My only cup! You ruined it!

Jesus, is anyone not going to attack me today?

I'm probably not. But I do need your help with something very important. Come on.

Okay, now, what do you think of this?

Too ornate or do you think it's belt-acular?

I don't care about the belt.

You're upset.

Look, from now on, I'll get someone else to handle my divorces.

It's not like I enjoy them.

I should go somewhere where no one knows how much money I have.

Where is Staten Island? Why don't we go there?

You could pretend to be my spinster sister and help me find my new wife.

I'm a lawyer. You're the best lawyer in the world.

Thanks for the compliment, but Harvard doesn't give a degree in yenta.

I'm not here to find you a wife or to pick out your clothes.

Oh, sorry.

My heroes are Clarence Darrow, Thurgood Marshall, Ruth Ginsburg...

Who's another non-scummy lawyer?

My parents! My father worked for Martin Luther King.

My mother is a law professor.

They taught me that lawyers should be treated with respect.

I have complete respect for you. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Luce, wait. Wait!

MAN: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join together Meryl and Tom... as they stand before us on this joyous day... proclaim their love and enter into that most sacred bond of all... the bond of holy...

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

WOMAN: Is that yours?

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

I'm so sorry.

Please continue. Everyone looks so beautiful. Just keep going.

Bye. You guys, I'll be right back.

Hold this for me. I'll be back.

Twenty bucks for your cab.

Keep the 20 and let's have dinner. Uh...

Keep your dinner. I'll keep my 20, we'll call it even.

Okay, sounds good. Okay, bye.

Go.

LUCY: George, pick up. What's wrong?

Don't tell me the construction permits didn't come through... because I had the application into the Zoning Committee by 9 a.m.

MAN: Evening, Miss Kelson. Willie, told you the Mets would sweep.

WOMAN: Miss Kelson. Ms. Hana.

Good evening, Miss Kelson. LUCY: Linda.

[SIGHS]

George? GEORGE: Help! I'm in my closet.

George. Good. You're here.

What is it? That is a very attractive pink thing.

George, what is it?

I'm judging the Miss New York contest in under an hour. It's on television.

What do you think?

Don't tell me you called me out of a wedding to help you pick out a suit.

You ran out of a wedding? You said it was an emergency!

Didn't I memo you as to what constitutes an emergency?

Yes. Large meteor, severe loss of blood and what's the third one again?

Death! Death.

And you're not dead. No.

You weren't dead when you called me at 3:00 a.m... because you had a nightmare about becoming a KISS member.

Just like when you barged in on my woman's doctor appointment... to ask me which picture to put on the cover of People.

I don't like those very much. If it's any consolation, I will be dead eventually.

Tonight is important. I'm representing the Wade organization. That includes you.

Not anymore, George.

I'm sorry? You got the towers, I got Coney Island.

Why don't we just call it quits, okay? I can't take it anymore.

What, are you serious? Yes.

Please, consider this my two weeks' notice.

I find you ungrateful. Ungrateful?

Yes, ungrateful. Ungrateful?!

Yes. I hire you with no corporate experience.

I give you an apartment, an office, the nonfat-muffin basket every morning.

George! Why do you keep your phone on?

Because you like emergencies. You crave the excitement.

All right, George. You are absolutely right.

This has nothing to do with you. This is entirely my thing... because I've managed to turn myself into this...

There's not even a name for it. It's not like I enjoy it either.

Before you came into my life I was capable of making decisions.

Now I can't. I'm addicted. I have to know what you think.

What do you think? George.

I think you are the most selfish human being on the planet.

That's just silly. Have you met everyone on the planet?

Goodbye, George.

I don't have a shirt.

LUCY: Ansel, I finally quit. He called me out of Meryl's wedding.

I'll never get that moment back. ANSEL: Okay.

LUCY: I'll interview with firms that do pro bono work...

ANSEL: Hang on. LUCY: What?

ANSEL: We're shipping out. I gotta go. You take care of yourself.

All right. ANSEL: I gotta go, hon.

Okay, just don't fall in love with any cute marine biologists.

Okay, I promise. Bye. Okay.

Love you. Bye.

[PHONES RINGING]

MAN: Lowell, Hanes and Richards.

LUCY: I look forward to a new challenge... and your firm has the optimal blend of public and private interest law.

Lucy, your résumé is amazing. You know that.

But we do a lot of business with Wade.

More reason for me to make a smooth transition.

Lucy. Yes.

George Wade called me this morning and informed me... that you are indispensable to his organization.

Ah.

At the moment, we're not hiring.

Then why did you agree to see me?

Honestly, we're partners with Zodiac Construction...

They do millions of dollars of business with Wade Realty...

And Mr. Wade... Doesn't want you to hire me.

The attorney who was planning to quit reconsidered.

When did Mr. Wade call? He never called.

When?! Maybe an hour ago.

Make sure you massage his cloven hoof!

GEORGE: I'm feeling a pain in my ass.

I am unemployable! You called everyone except for Slurpee Heaven!

That is not true. I did call Slurpee Heaven. They didn't want you.

You had attitude. You weren't Slurpee material.

You should really let us work on you. I don't like to be touched!

I'm sorry, you guys are great. It's not you.

All right, listen.

You have a contract and it says you will work until Island Towers is finalized.

Which is completion of construction, or I can stop you working elsewhere.

And there's no loopholes because you drafted it and you're the best.

I think you drafted it that way because you don't really want to go.

Does it kill you how well I know you?

Honey, this contract is excellent work. I'm very proud of you.

LUCY: Dad, I'm trying to get out of it.

I don't know why you went to work for that philandering robber baron.

You usually have impeccable instincts.

Look at your boyfriend, Ansel. He's a dedicated environmental warrior.

This is ironclad. Houdini couldn't get out of this contract.

You should've stayed at the legal aid job.

If I do pro bono work with a company with these resources...

I can accomplish so much... Come on over for strawberry ice cream.

Have Tofutti! You heard what the doctor said. Your cholesterol is over 300!

You're basically a solid.

Two of the greatest legal minds in this country arguing over dessert.

Lucy, it was your choice to work for that man.

You could've done anything. You could've clerked for the Supreme Court.

I don't know what to tell you.

Short of going in and deliberately trying to get fired.

RUTH: You stay away from that freezer!

Good morning, boys.

Oops. Sorry, I am so late.

That's fine. We only just got here.

Forty-five minutes ago. LUCY: Hmm.

Howie, are these your kids?

You know, I've never actually met them.

They are good-looking boys.

That's a girl. That's Sue and Paul.

LUCY: Yes, so it is.

You know what? She is gonna be a heartbreaker.

That's Paul. LUCY: Hmm.

Yeah. Thank you. Sorry.

So we've got the Coney Island project.

I'd like to stir up some publicity if we could.

Yes, very nice.

I'm...

I'm working on endorsements from local merchants.

Hmm.

Any thoughts, George?

Yes, we were working on some ideas there.

Hiya.

I thought that was a terrific meeting. We should have more meetings like that.

Pathetic. What's pathetic?

You. I know what you're doing. I am not doing anything.

You think if you come in late and spit on the boss that will get you fired?

Not in this company.

Chris. CHRIS: George.

George, I have an ulcer.

I don't sleep well, mostly because you keep calling me at night.

If you don't call me, I dream you're gonna call me.

I think about you in the shower, not in a good way... but in an I'm-so-distracted-I-can't- remember-if-I washed-my-hair way.

So I wash my hair twice.

So I have a hole in my stomach, I am running out of shampoo... and today is the first time in my life I did not give 1000 percent on the job... and I hate that feeling!

I won't call after hours. You will, George! You know you will.

Yeah, I will.

I just don't think we can see each other professionally anymore.

All right. Stay until you find a replacement.

Train him up for a couple of weeks, then you can go to Slurpee Heaven.

Thank you! I promise I will find you somebody amazing.

Somebody better than me because I'm not even any good.

No. A glorified ambulance chaser.

Thank you.

[LUCY SIGHS]

[CLANGING]

LUCY: I got it. It's just my earring.

Ah! Ah! Ow!

My hair! GEORGE: That's my overpriced belt.

LUCY: Just get it off!

Howard.

Join us. We were just brainstorming.

Lucy? LUCY: Yes.

I was thinking it might be a good idea to do a photo op at the build site... where George would be in the...

George in the foreground, pointing up to the sky... like this. Yes.

Then I thought I could take my belt off, as if to say, let's get to work!

LUCY: Right. Right-o.

GEORGE: On behalf of Wade Corporation, I thank the Community Board... for giving us the opportunity to work with you on this project.

And we look forward to seeing all of you at the groundbreaking.

I did well with those eight people.

I thought you were fantastic. MAN: This way, Mr. Wade.

Just Mr. Wade. Oh.

PHOTOGRAPHER: More. Great. Can we go now?

Absolutely. I just want to say hello to my folks.

Your folks?

Excuse me.

Hello.

LARRY: Honey. LUCY: Hi.

New coat? I like it. LUCY: Thanks.

What a wonderful surprise! We finally meet after all this time.

George Wade.

Mrs. Kelson, I presume.

What a pleasure.

Yeah. Well, I can certainly see where Lucy gets her stare from.

I'm Larry. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Thanks, Larry. Same here.

Thank you for letting Lucy quit. It certainly made our week.

Great pleasure. We should get back to the office.

Come on! Have some cake. We can't.

We're two blocks from the apartment.

You live around here? Sure.

What a charming coincidence. It won't be charming... once you block out the sun with this condo-hotel monstrosity!

We will have a sun deck.

That's something, isn't it?

GEORGE: I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support on this.

LARRY: At least you're keeping the community center.

Unless you're willing to reconsider the entire project.

GEORGE: That won't happen. It is over 50 million in profits.

RUTH: It's immoral that any human being should acquire that much wealth.

I don't know how you sleep at night.

GEORGE: I have a machine that simulates the ocean.

RUTH: Oh, God.

LUCY: You're not helping yourself.

LARRY: Do those really work? GEORGE: Yes.

LUCY: I used to come up here when I was a kid. My special place.

Yes, well, every kid needs one.

I had a small one-bedroom on Park and 91 st.

Well, that's so very Oliver Twist.

Times were hard. But you know what? We were happy.

Didn't have a view as good as this. LUCY: It's great, isn't it?

I used to take up some ice cream and my Carole King tape... and look at the neighborhood.

It's amazing what you could see. At night, the building went downstairs.

The fathers stood on one corner. The mothers stood on the other.

Kids would just ride their bicycles around.

As you can see, not much has changed.

Mr. And Mrs. Goldfarb would be sitting in the middle of the street... saving a parking space for their kids who were coming next weekend.

And you up here on your own.

It's hard to find a quiet place in Brooklyn to think.

Or to replay whatever argument I just had with my mother.

Yes.

Yeah, she's terrifying.

I thought she was gonna kill me and feed me to the poor.

Yeah, she's a piece of work.

But for better or worse, she's the voice in my head pushing me to do better.

Challenge the accepted wisdom. Never settle for a B instead of an A on a test.

You once got a B?

Hypothetically speaking. Right.

Of course, no matter how hard I try, I will never live up to her expectations.

Well, there are worse things in life. Like no one having any expectations.

There's something amuck with this sponge cake.

Tofu.

You're not concentrating. This offends me.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Ton.

I lost Lucy.

I just think it's a shame because I've come to rely on her for everything.

And I trust her completely, and she's funny.

Not deliberately, of course.

Hey, you know, it's probably for the best though.

Oh, yeah? Why is that?

Two things I know is chess and women.

Chess, it has rules, pieces, rooks, knights, bishops.

They move in predictable patterns. Somebody wins, somebody loses.

But women, they don't have no rules, man.

They move in unpredictable ways too.

Nobody ever wins or loses when it comes to women.

You talk about your feelings until your breath is sucked out your body.

All men are pawns when it comes to women.

Especially a smart one like Lucy. She's hard to control.

And you know, the man has got to be in control.

Like with me.

I come home. When I walk in, I know my mama has dinner on the table.

All right, so you're still living at home?

Yeah. Yeah.

Of course.

LUCY: Here's somebody interesting, Polly St. Clair.

Well, it's a terrific résumé, Polly.

Congratulations on the baby.

What baby?

Maybe you should check with me before you talk.

What baby?

I'd like to talk about your moot-court experience.

What baby?

Yeah, what baby?

GEORGE: You should do the interviews on your own from now on.

LUCY: Whatever you say, baby.

Harry Raskin, Richard Beck.

There's some interesting prospects for my replacement. Let's see.

Richard Kelly from Yale.

No, it's gotta be a woman.

What a surprise.

I suppose a certain bust size would help. Maybe some bathing-suit shots?

It will annoy Howard if it's a woman. Oh.

Thank you. Tell you what.

All I want is someone as intelligent as you... but a little less tense and argumentative.

A sort of Katharine Hepburn figure.

You don't deserve Katharine Hepburn.

Audrey Hepburn. Also too good.

Just stay away from the Hepburns.

You forgot a beet.

Beet. Oh.

Thank you.

GEORGE: I've got that charity tennis thing tonight.

And I need to know, does this shirt make me look a bit kind of Björn Borg?

Ansel and I got into a huge fight, and I think we just broke up.

Really?

He wants me to go on a Greenpeace boat.

He thinks I can't embrace life.

Is that the case? Because I just don't see it.

I just don't see it.

And by the way, how can I embrace him when he is never here?

Maybe it's me. Maybe the rose-colored glasses have finally come off.

Okay.

We obviously can't leave you alone with the stapler.

I'll tell you what. I'll cancel tennis.

They always make me play with Ed Koch. What can we do to cheer you up?

Nothing. There's no solution.

Good. Good attitude.

I can't help it if I don't like boats.

Surely not all boats.

Yes, all boats.

LUCY: I don't understand. What is wrong with me?

GEORGE: At the moment, huge quantities of alcohol.

LUCY: I don't know. I just seem to drive men away.

There's Ansel.

There's Billy from Legal Aid who ran off with a stripper.

GEORGE: Gary from the Peace Corps who married his trainer.

LUCY: Gary, yes.

What is wrong with me? I want to know. You're sort of a man.

All right? I'm good.

So tell me. What's the matter with me?

Well, you can be somewhat intimidating.

You could loosen up a little, get in touch with your feminine side.

Okay, that's a good suggestion. Perhaps soften your appearance.

Not that I don't love that look, but you could get dolled up occasionally.

I'm not going to spend hours fluffing my hair and applying... animal-tested makeup to my face... just so I can turn myself into some male fantasy, degrading Kewpie doll.

Unless I, you know, really like the guy or something.

You see, maybe that's the problem. Mmm.

You don't like these guys.

You drive them away because you realize they're wrong for you.

They're not wrong for me.

We have all the same political goals and ideals, all of them.

Which I guess isn't very romantic, but what can I say?

I'm fine. What can I say? I'm just not a romantic person.

Never felt that way about anybody. Nope. No.

No, in high school, Rick Beck took me parking. You know, parking?

And the whole time I talked about Nelson Mandela.

Don't know why I did that.

That's hard to say. I certainly would have found it extremely erotic. Come back.

LUCY: I'm fine.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just not good in bed.

Maybe you're not.

[LUCY CHUCKLES]

I am.

Yeah? Yeah. I am really good in bed.

You might be lousy. No, believe me, pal.

You should be so lucky because the lawyerly exterior... don't let that fool you because inside I am, like, a complete animal.

It's, like, bobcat. You know, it's scary.

I can see that it might be. No. Look, I can bend like a pretzel.

I'm serious.

And I'm not talking the straight kind. I'm talking, like, the twisty kind.

I think... I think... Twisty, salty type of pretzel.

Because that's what men want, right?

That is their dream. The twisty-bobcat kind of pretzel... that's what you want, and I bet I could give you a twisty-bobcat pretzel.

Do you want it?

You're a really good listener.

GEORGE: Oh.

Luce?

Are you? Hello?

Cormac!

Help!

GEORGE: I'll just get her upstairs.

TONY: Think you can make it?

No. No, let's put her somewhere else.

Good. Good.

TONY: Whoa. Whoa.

GEORGE: There.

All right.

Good.

She looks so peaceful when she's asleep.

Like a doll.

[SNORING]

A doll with a sinus problem.

We should put a pillow under her head. I think that helps.

Good.

[LUCY SNORING]

Much worse. Interesting.

Do you think we should change her clothes?

Right. Don't know where that came from.

GEORGE: Morning!

Okay, not so loud.

WOMAN: Hey. How are you, sweety?

We didn't...

Last... We didn't...

It was a magical night.

You made sounds I've never heard a woman make before.

We didn't...

Not physically, but spiritually, you were the best I've ever had.

Oh.

Whatever I did or didn't do or said or didn't say... it was all a little mistake.

Well, nothing happened.

That's a relief.

I'm very busy. I have work to do. You stay there and relax.

Okay, I'll see you later.

NORMAN: Lucy!

Jesus, careful.

There's a June Carver to see you.

June Carver, June Carver. NORMAN: She went to Harvard.

Yeah, well, so did I. Now look at me.

Norman. Norman. Norman.

Norman! Sorry.

She didn't have a strong background in property law.

She's down from Boston. She only wants five minutes.

Lucy.

This is June Carver.

Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you. You too.

I don't have an appointment, so feel free to throw me out.

Well, I have security on standby.

Have a seat, please. Thanks.

Did you have Criminal with Professor Rappaport?

Oh, my God. I'm still shaking. Yeah.

But I have to tell you, Miss Kelson, you are a legend there.

Me? Editor of the Law Review.

The articles you wrote on the Richmond case. You're an inspiration.

Well, yeah, I...

I don't have a strong background in property, but neither did you... and look what you've accomplished.

Well, you know, not that much, really. I just...

And there's this.

I've never met Mr. Wade... but in Public Policy magazine he was interviewed... about the challenges of urban development and he said that...

Is it ridiculous that I'm quoting this?

No, not yet.

"Architecture can shape a community and turn strangers into neighbors."

The right design for a park makes people feel secure.

A school building can be functional and beautiful...

"so kids feel engaged instead of imprisoned."

When I read that, it made me feel I'd be working for a cause... not just a company.

Okay. You're hired.

You're Mr. Wade.

Someone has to be. Although, I didn't write that.

Lucy did. No, you did. I remember being shocked.

We've been working together so long it's hard to remember who did what.

Sounds like an amazing team. George, do you mind...?

I was saying how presumptuous it was of me to come waltzing in here... but Miss Kelson was nice enough to see me.

They're calling from the Zoning Commission.

June, why don't we set up a proper interview for tomorrow.

It's all right. It's all right. I could finish up with June.

You're not coming to the meeting?

Have I ever come to the meeting? LUCY: Good point.

Alrighty. GEORGE: Alrighty.

Stupid plant. Do something with this, will you?

Absolutely. The ficus is fired.

Bye-bye. Bye.

So tell me... Yes.

First of all, you come from which...? JUNE: Harvard.

I was just wondering, are we still on for the Mets game tonight?

I love baseball.

So are we still good?

I'm a Red Sox fan, all the way.

A Red Sox fan? Interesting.

You obviously have a rich fantasy life which is a fabulous plus in this company.

Okay, that means you're a Boston girl, probably a little bit Irish, Catholic... big family, dirty, that kind. JUNE: Exactly.

CROWD: Let's go, Mets! Let's go, Mets! Let's go, Mets!

MAN: Strike him out!

LUCY: So, what did you think of June?

GEORGE: Loved her.

Great. Yeah, me too.

Yeah, she smiled obsequiously, flattered me constantly.

She'd have no problem picking out an ottoman. Exactly what I'm looking for.

LUCY: A tad weak on the experience side, but...

We went out for a drink, talked for an hour.

She's a very clever girl, you know. Sharp.

So you guys went out for a drink... Uh-huh, uh-huh.

She got nowhere to stay at the moment, so I found her a room at the Grand.

And I invited her to the company outing. Turns out she's a useful tennis player.

Well, I can swing a racket.

Yes, I know, at my head. I've experienced it.

But listen, thanks to you for finding her. Genius.

LUCY: Oh, God! It's gonna hit us!

MIKE: Get out of the way. Move!

GEORGE: Mike, you all right? MIKE: Yeah.

GEORGE: Easy, the season just started. MIKE: Thanks, George.

Next time, go to a Yankees game.

[BOOING]

Hey, look, you're on TV.

I don't hear you. I don't hear you.

Stop it.

[GIRL GIGGLING]

NORMAN: Nice!

JUNE: Nice one. GEORGE: Thank you.

Ha!

Three-love. All right. Cool.

NORMAN: Nice.

Yeah!

Mine, mine, mine! Okay!

Come on!

JUNE: Lucy! Oh, my God, Lucy, are you okay?

Do I have a concussion? Ask me something.

Name all the Supreme Court Justices. LUCY: Thomas, Ginsburg, Scalia...

Stevens, Kennedy, Rehnquist, Souter, Breyer, O'Connor. Right?

How should I know?

Want some?

Thanks, I really shouldn't.

Okay.

You think she's a natural redhead?

JUNE: You're so good at this.

I was gonna give June a lift, and Howard offered.

[LUCY GROANS]

He liked her, that is a big strike against her.

Although I will say she's an excellent tennis player. Very nice form.

Fantastically nice form. Oh, man.

Incredibly lithe.

What? I thought you liked her too.

No, I jus... I think I just ate too much.

Really? What did you have?

Just a chili dog and some fries and a soda... and a bag of some little girl's cookies... and another chili dog stuck in there somewhere.

Okay.

Let's try and take your mind off it.

Okay.

Heard from Ansel lately?

I'm sorry.

I've been thinking about this. You should move on. Forget him.

Plenty of other pebbles on the beach. The world is be full of men who'd die... to be with a compulsive eater who can't fall in love.

What? I've fallen in love.

Yeah? Yes!

With whom, might I ask?

And no pets.

Billy Westhouse.

Billy who?

Westhouse. I knew him in high school.

Did you tell Billy that you loved him?

Did you say, "Billy, I love you"?

[GROANS]

Ow!

Goodness!

It's not funny.

Sorry.

That last chili dog is really barking.

GEORGE: Yes.

It's not perfect timing, I must say.

Don't panic. We'll be in the city in 20 minutes.

I don't have 20 seconds! I feel like I swallowed a cruise missile.

Listen, if you've got to go, go.

What...? What am I? 5 years old? This is my car!

It's only a Volvo. Well, people just don't go in Volvos!

I'll buy you another Volvo. No!

That'll be the only thing you'll ever remember about me.

I'll be the woman who went on the front seat!

That would be hard to forget.

[LUCY WHINING]

Okay, I have an idea. See that RV?

LUCY: Yes. GEORGE: That is our target.

Can you make it? Therein lies your salvation.

No. Yes, it's an excellent idea.

It's unclean! It's a brain wave.

I can hold it! Out!

LUCY: I can hold it! George, I'm holding it! I'm fine, I can hold it!

No! No, no, George, I don't want... I'm not going. I'm holding!

Come on.

Hi there!

GEORGE: You all right? LUCY: Yes.

GEORGE: Okay? I'm good.

GEORGE: You all right? I'm good.

GEORGE: What? My ankle.

No! No, no! Oh, God! No!

Hi, there!

LUCY: Oh, God!

GEORGE: Sorry to bother you.

I'm not insane, but my friend needs to use a bathroom. It's an emergency.

I'll give you $100. A thousand!

Okay.

GEORGE: Thanks. Very sweet of you.

LUCY: Thank you.


LUCY: Clean, clean, clean.

Where are you guys from?

Well, Kentucky originally, but now this is pretty much home.

Uh-huh.

[LUCY GROANS]

Come here, babies.

Hurry!

LUCY: Oh.

What kind of mileage do you get out of this thing? It's an RV, right?

A recreational vehicle?

Traffic's moving.

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it one sec!

Honey, how are you? Are you nearly ready?

LUCY: Kill me! Yeah.

Oh, um... Oh.

[HONKING]

WHITMAN: Look at that poor jerk.

Yes, poor jerk.

LUCY: Whoa, Nelly.

LUCY: George, where's the car?

I'm sure it's been safely towed by now.

Oh, God! George, George, George!

Don't worry, don't worry! In many ways, it was the perfect end to the day.

Except for those poor children in the trailer.

They actually looked quite frightened.

[CHUCKLES]

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

Once it's published in the company newsletter, there'd be no point.

All right, I'll call for a lift.

Would you like to have your nails done?

A Hollywood tan, perhaps?


LUCY: God, it is such a beautiful city.

GEORGE: My favorite building of all time. Look.

Nirosta steel, sunburst tower, gleaming gargoyles... all designed by a man called William Van Alen... obsessed with beating his former partner... who was building the Bank of Manhattan tower at 927 feet.

So Van Alen announced the Chrysler Building at 925 feet... and then surreptitiously assembled the 180-foot mast inside the tower... and revealed it after the bank tower had been completed... giving Van Alen the tallest building for three months... until of course... Until the Empire State Building.

All right, please give me the name of Van Alen's former partner.

Who is H. Craig Severance?

I find you annoying. Yes, I'm sure you do.

But it is pretty amazing what dreams and lots of money can do, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

You know you're part of that, George. Yes, I am.

All you have to do is use your power for good instead of evil.

If only I would.

Listen...

I'm very sorry that these last couple of months have been unbearable for you.

Not at all. Unbearable would have been bearable.

Then I suppose it's a good thing that your two weeks are almost up.

This is it.

I'll do the Children's League benefit. I'll make sure June is set up.

I'll look at your speech for the groundbreaking... and I'll be out of your life forever.

Great.

Super.


Hi. Hey, hey.

I have tennis elbow from the other day. Oh, yes?

Lucy has tennis forehead. Much worse. Oh, no. I still feel terrible about that.

Thank God she looks okay. Hmm.

Especially with that big benefit you're all going to tonight.

What was it again? It's a benefit... for the New York Children's League. Lucy makes us give money... to help society and get a tax break. Brilliant.

Sounds exciting. It would be almost impossible... to tell you how boring it is. Largely because it would be too boring.

Well, boring to you might be scintillating for a girl from Plainview, Wisconsin.

See you later.

What about, if you're not busy... a bunch of us are going, do you want to come and be bored?

I'd love to. All right.

All right. See you later. Okay.

Oh, good. These need to go to Accounting.

The loan forms need to be notarized. NORMAN: I got it.

Here's the Zoning Commission reports. Now you can start with the appraisals...

Actually, I don't know how much time I have.

George sort of asked me to go to the benefit with him tonight.

Oh. Great.

I just have to figure out what to wear. I don't have anything.

"I don't have anything." God, she's nice.

They're very good muffins. They just need more fat.

George, sign these or we default on five different loans.

Take care. GEORGE: Hang on. Hang on.

I need to go over my speech. Sorry. I gotta run.

We'll pick you up at eight and go through it in the car.

I asked June to come. Hope that's all right.

Oh, that's dandy, but I don't need a ride. Thanks.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

GEORGE: Howard. HOWARD: George...

I just received new estimates on Island Towers.

Costs are skyrocketing.

It will be cheaper to just knock down the community center.

What are you talking about?

We got the job because we said we'd keep it.

We said we intended to keep the center. Wait. You can't...

This is nonsense. You can't just decide unilaterally.

I'm coming over. George.

I want to take a nap before the benefit. It's all very simple.

GEORGE: Why can't we build over the center?

HOWARD: Because it will eat away our profits.

There's to be a groundbreaking ceremony at Coney Island... with our friend Assemblyman Perez.

All I need is one of your charming speeches.

GEORGE: You're not gonna get one.

I need you there.

I have to consult my schedule. No, you won't. It's your job.

You're the public face of the company. They don't want to see me.

I can't for the life of me think why not. You're magnificent.

Look, whatever we lose on this deal, I'm in for half.

You'll be in for nothing at the rate you're going.

Expensive divorces, poolside parties at the hotel for 1000 people... including fireworks and a performance by Sting.

That was one special night.

It was Wendy the concierge's farewell bash and a good party if I say so myself.

Look, I know you don't have a clue, but the economy is not what it was.

Everything we've got, all of it, could go.

Faster than you can imagine.

We need this built.

You're our closer and you will help me close this deal... or I will fire you and take all your stock options.

And I can't bear to see you like that, George.

You will help me close this deal, George, won't you?

I'm surprised you have to ask.

I wasn't really asking.

You should have gone with George. Well, he asked June.

Not exclusively. He asked you too. He asked me too?

How many women should a man take to dinner? Maybe in Utah.

So you're gonna go alone? Sure, why not?

Hey, I think it's great.

I was always too scared to go anywhere alone.

Then I got married. Now I'll never be alone again.

Check out this situation. You two kids have fun.

All right. Ah-ha.

Howard. Helen, how are you?

Mr. And Mrs. Wade, good evening.

I hate these things. Ridiculous.

Why can't we just give the money and be done with it?

Yes, that'd be fun. Who wants a drink?

I'd love champagne. We don't want anything.

I'll have a Scotch. GEORGE: Great.

I'll be right back with one of the promotional bottles.

TRUMP: Wade. Trump.

I hear Kelson finally dumped you. Not exactly, no.

We came to an understanding that she couldn't bear me for another second.

Who's the new chief counsel?

If she's any good, I'm gonna steal her away.

I doubt it. She seems quite loyal to me.

Let me be the judge of that. All right.

I'm not intimidated. I'll even lead you to her.

She's over there somewhere.

[NORA JONES SINGS "The Nearness of You"]


[CONTINUES SINGING]


Good evening.

Well, you look... I...

I... You...

I can't wait to hear your speech. Yeah.

No, it's just you look absolutely... surprising.

Well, you haven't seen the whole outfit yet.

You see, ordinarily that would suit you extremely well, but...

Well, tonight you're...

I'm just...

Lucy, hey. LUCY: Hi.

Wow. I love your dress. Thank you.

And you look very beautiful. JUNE: No.

I'm sorry, was I interrupting something? No, no. We were just...

going over my speech.

Right. Work, work, work.

Howard wants me to revise the Island Towers proposal... now that we're tearing down the center.

I could really use your help with that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

George, can I please talk to you for a second?

Hang on. They're about to shoot a man out of a cannon into a vat of ice cream.

George.

GEORGE: I know, but I spent half the night arguing with Howard.

LUCY: I don't care about Howard.

I care about you, your word and the community center.

No community center. I see. Okay.

Look, it's not the end of the world, and we do give millions to charities.

Your charities, actually. So that justifies lying.

Since when is helping people and telling the truth mutually exclusive?

You promised me. Oh, here we go.

You said you needed me to tell you when you were being a schmuck.

It's frankly none of your business, is it? You don't work here anymore!

I cannot believe you won't even try to be the person you could be.

This is the person I could be. No.

You think you're second-rate and there's nothing you can do.

And I never believed it until right now. This minute.

This is the first time in a year that I really don't like you.

I haven't liked me for longer than that. And I'm not crazy about you right now.

Why don't you go and be the person you're supposed to be.

Oh, good. I see the mature part of the evening has begun.

Oh, buzz off, bozo.

MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the ice cream is ready.

Here comes the topping.

George, thanks again. This was a spectacular evening.

Huh.

JUNE: I can't wait to tell my family who I met.

Why? Who did you meet?

You. Ah.

What? The elevator.

GEORGE: Oh.

Evening. MAN: Evening.

WOMAN: Evening. JUNE: Hi.

How's your room, by the way? Amazing.

I want to pay you back with interest. Don't be daft. I don't need interest.

Well, this is me. GEORGE: Hmm.

So good night.

Yeah, good night. Um...

I had a wonderful time. Good. I'm very glad about that.

So good night.

Yes, good night.

[WOMAN CLEARS THROAT]

It's all right. I own the hotel. Your breakfast is complimentary.

[JUNE MOANS]

Gorgeous.

I know it's weird living in a hotel but it somehow has a very homey feel.

Would you like something from the minibar?

Maybe a beer.

Right.

JUNE: Wow, chess. I love chess.

You know what I love even more than chess?

Pokémon?

Strip chess.

Yes, that is a very good game.

LUCY: George? We need to finish this conversation...

JUNE: Lucy. LUCY: Oh, June. Hi.

Lucy, hi. Wow. Wow. Great slip.

That's a great dress. Oh, you know, same one as before.

GEORGE: All right. Break's over. I'm gonna capture your bish...

Hi. LUCY: Hi.

We were just playing a little chess.

And doing some laundry.

Oh, well, that's okay.

'Cause I was just about to go off and have some sex myself.

I mean, not by myself... but with somebody. Somebody else.

Oh, you don't know him. He's in my apartment.

Yeah, in my bed.

His name is Barry. Yeah.

Barry in my bed. Okay, bye.

JUNE: That was embarrassing.


LUCY: Hey. Hey.

What's wrong? Thanks for your shoes.

Hold on, lady. Look at me. What happened?

Nothing. Something happened.

I've known you since Brownies, I've never seen you cry.

Except when Bush won.

Which Bush?

Both of them. So maybe you cried twice. This is a different George.

MERYL: I'm sorry.

It's not supposed to be like this.

Maybe it is.

Maybe it's like the philosopher Sri Yogananda says:

"Only that which is the other, gives us fully unto ourselves."

Look. I had to fight for Tom. It was the best thing I ever did.

Really?

Everything okay?

Not now. Everything is not about you! Okay.

[MUMBLING]

Quiet, everyone. Quiet down, please.

Thank you.

I have a little poem I wrote for you, Lucy. If you could just come up here.

Please.

Okay.

You ready for this? Rhyme away.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

So.

You're leaving With your antacids and floss.

Our hair perhaps we will toss But we are at a loss.

Because you are the world's best boss

[CLAPPING]

Well, that was a very nice speech you just made... and I'm going to really miss everyone here at Wade.

There are a million memories I wouldn't trade... and if you ever get accused of murder, you can find me at Legal Aid.

What was that? Well, it was the same thing you just did.

Bye. Bye. Thank you. Thank you very much. Nice...

FEMALE EMPLOYEE: Bye. Bye.

I'll really miss your comprehensive reports.

Me too. Me too.

Lucy. Thank you so much for everything.

No problem. Well, good luck with everything.

And I'm sorry about last night. That was awkward.

Oh, not at all. Brian was unbelievable. I thought it was Barry.

Well, Barry was first, and then it was Brian, and it was just crowded.

I almost forgot my stapler. Is that...? Oh, God.

What? Never mind.

No, no. What? Well, it's just that technically... the stapler belongs to the company. That's right.

But... No, you know what? Whatever.

It's... The stapler just goes way back with me. And I...

Well, no, no. You keep it. It'll be our little secret.

Really? Yeah.

Oh. Great, thank you. Thank you very much.

I have kind of earned it... working here 18 hours a day, seven days a week.

Wow. Yeah.

Guess that makes you a workaholic.

No, actually, those are the hours when you work with George.

Well, no. I mean, I can be a workaholic too.

That's why I'm vigilant about separating my personal and professional life.

Really? Well, I guess that would explain the late-night meeting in your slip.

I'm sorry? What?

That is absolutely none of your business.

My God. Fine. How much does a stapler run?

Here, here's $10.

Ridiculous. It's not yours.

What's the matter with you? Give me my stapler.

Look. You didn't pay for it.

Give me... You have more of these! JUNE: It's not your... Oh, my God.

No. No. All we're missing is the mud.

All right. Enough. Enough. Leave. Ow!

She's hurting me! Leave, leave. Off, off.

In here.

You are dead!

GEORGE: What was that? She wouldn't give me my stapler.

Part of a new office supply strip search. Your stapler?

Are you still knocking down the community center?

Listen.

I know you're upset about last night. Still knocking down the center?

I've been trying to call you... Still knocking down the center?

What is wrong with you? Are you incapable of talking about your own life?

Still knocking down the community center?

All right. Let me remind you. You came to the hotel.

I was with June. We were unusually dressed.

You must... You must have some feelings.

[LUCY CLEARS THROAT]

I don't have to listen to this. God, this is ridiculous.

You know what, where do you come off?

Where do you come off? Believe it, I didn't take this job to sleep with you.

I took this job for a cause. You are a cause!

You make Gandhi look like a used-car salesman.

My God. You know what I can't believe? How easy you are being on yourself.

Why don't we go over this again, okay? You promised me a community center.

Yes! I promised, I promised, I promised. I'm sorry.

I can't control the economy. I can't control my brother.

I did promise, and I did let you down. I'm sorry. You know what? I'm human.

I think you'll find a lot of people are! I'm human too!

Well, are you? Because you're too perfect, too wonderful.

None of us can keep up. That's probably why... all those other guys bolted as fast as their Birkenstocks could carry them.

'Cause you're intolerable and no one wants to be preached to!

No one wants to live with a saint. Saints are boring.

[DOOR OPENS]

WOMAN: Mr. Wade, your brother wants to see you.

Right.

[LUCY COUGHS]

LUCY: Hi, Mr. Wong?

Yes, Lucy Kelson. Yeah, it's been a long time, huh?

I'm back at my parents' house.

It's kind of fun being in my old bedroom and in the neighb...

Sorry. Can I have two number sixes... and a number, a number 12?

Yes, that's for one.

Always for one.

Yes. That's it. No. You know what... just throw in a couple egg rolls and that would be great.

MAN: For years, Coney Island has been trying to attract this kind of development.

WOMAN: Yeah. Right.

Hopefully, Island Towers is the start of big things to come.

And now, it is my honor to introduce to you... one of the men who made this all possible, George Wade.

You look great. Go and earn your money, George.

Thanks so much. Great.

Thank you very much, Assemblyman Perez.

Your mom is teaching today... so we'd better grab a bite to eat and be on our way.

We have some protesting to do at the community center.

I'm not going.

What are you talking about? I cannot watch... another building get knocked down.

Hey. We didn't raise you to sit on the sidelines.

Ever since you were a little girl, you fought for what you believed in.

You were on the White House Enemies list at 5.

Dad, I'm not sitting on the sidelines. I'm going to work.

What's the point? The man's not listen to me.

Besides, you know, he said some things to me that were just so...

True.

Then you change your tactics, you change your argument.

You don't give up.

We didn't give up on civil rights or equality for women or fair housing.

Honey. Hmm.

As long as people can change, the world can change.

Yeah, but what if people can't change?

Hmm.

Well... let me put it this way.

I'm sitting here eating a piece of cheesecake made entirely of soy.

And I hate it.

But I'm eating it.

I'm going to work. Bye. Good luck.

LUCY: The law is clear on this.

If the landlord has not kept up proper maintenance, he cannot evict you.

We will help you, Mrs. Munez.

Let me run and get you some forms you can fill out, and we'll get started.

Well, hello.

Hi. You don't remember me, do you?

Polly St. Clair? You interviewed me? You thought I was having a baby?

Oh, yes. Yes, Polly. Wow.

So you work here now. Uh-huh.

Terrific. How are you? Pregnant.

I'm not falling for that one again. No, I'm really pregnant.

You can congratulate me now. Polly, I was not born yesterday.

I'm pregnant! You want to see the damn sonogram?

LUCY: Mrs. Munez, we have two other cases...

GEORGE: Hi.

Hi. I'm busy.

Yes.

I need your advice on one last thing... and I promise you will never hear from me again.

I just delivered the first speech written entirely by myself since we met... and I think I may have blown it, so I wanted to ask your thoughts.

Okay. Then I will read it to you.

"I'd like to welcome everyone on this special day."

Island Towers will bring prestige to the neighborhood... and be part of Brooklyn's renaissance.

And we're very pleased and proud to be here.

Unfortunately, there is one fly in the ointment.

You see, I gave my word to someone... that we wouldn't knock down this building behind me.

Normally, and those who know me or were married to me can attest to this... my word wouldn't mean very much. So why does it this time?

Well, partly because this building is an architectural gem... and deserves to be landmarked.

Partly because people do need a place to do senior's water ballet and CPR.

Preferably not together.

But mainly because this person, despite being unusually stubborn... and unwilling to compromise and a very poor dresser, is...

She's... rather like the building she loves so much.

A little rough around the edges, but when you look closely... absolutely beautiful.

And the only one of her kind.

And even though I've said cruel things and driven her away... she's become the voice in my head.

And I can't seem to drown her out.

And I don't want to drown her out.

So we are going to keep the community center.

Because I gave my word to her...

"and because we gave our word to the community."

And I didn't sleep with June.

That's not in the speech, that's me letting you know that important fact.

Okay.

What do you think?

I have to get back to work.

GEORGE: Right.

Right, yes, yes, yes. Sorry to disturb.

Congratulations again, Polly.


Aside from the split infinitive that was somewhere in the middle... that speech was actually quite perfect, wasn't it?

Yeah. I don't know what the hell you're still doing sitting here.

And I don't even like him.

George!

Oh.

LUCY: George, I just want to say thank you.

Thank you and I know I can be harsh and demanding... but I want to try and change because I believe people can change.

I can change and not be so demanding and, you know, like, meet you halfway.

I just... I know... Things just...

Once I...

GEORGE: Lucy...

I am in love with you.

And I'm in love with you.

Oh, I should just mention that I have resigned... and am now poor. Good.

When I say poor, I mean we may have to share a helicopter with another family.

Does that work for you?

As long as I don't have to work for you, we will be fine.

Excellent.

And now I would very much like to discuss that whole bobcat-pretzel thing.

Oh, I was just kidding. I'm allergic to bobcats, actually.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

But I can do the pretzel. That's excellent news.


Hi, Mr. Wong, it's Lucy Kelson.

I need one number 13, two number sevens...

I can't believe how small this apartment is. It's shocking.

I need three number eights, no garlic.

It's good your parents went to the movies. We'd never fit.

I need one number seven and...

I can walk from one side of this apartment to the other in six seconds.

Watch this. One... And a number 11, please.

No, actually this is for two.